Emmerdale Viv Marlon & Belle vs Shadrach/Zak Grabs Shadrach 23rd December 2007

TV Critic 02

Watch Emmerdale Viv Marlon & Belle vs Shadrach/Zak Grabs Shadrach 23rd December 2007 - TV Critic 02 on Dailymotion

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00:00With my family's meat!

00:01Yeah, I second that.

00:02I have got a lovely homemade casserole in the oven right now.

00:07What about the damage done to my reputation?

00:09What do you think you're doing?

00:10You a favour.

00:12That's our tea you've just thrown away!

00:14Listen to me, if you had a Geiger counter, it would be going off the scale.

00:17Have you ever wondered why you're all feeling sick as dogs?

00:20There is nothing wrong with them and we've all ate the same.

00:22They've had centuries of selective breeding giving them cast iron stomach linings.

00:26That's why.

00:27Before you start chucking accusations, just take a minute to cool down.

00:32Cool down!

00:33Zach, you're lucky half our customers aren't cooling down right now.

00:37In a mortuary drawer!

00:39Have you heard of E. coli?

00:40Those pigs were Rose and Mary.

00:43I groomed it as two were piglets.

00:45Whatever caused a trouble, it won't them.

00:46Are you going somewhere, Shadrack?

00:48Er...

00:49Ah, I can explain.

00:53We're all...

00:54What the hell did you do with my pigs?

00:57I killed them at the abattoir, like I said.

01:01And that was the port that you sold on?

01:03Er...

01:03Not exactly, but that's what you do in business.

01:06A trotter here, a brain, a kidney there.

01:08You swapped my Rose and Mary's pristine carcasses for some dodgy meat, didn't you?

01:16Ah, I got a good price.

01:18I thought we could split the difference.

01:19Oh, yeah, I bet it weren't for Christmas presents.

01:21No, it was so we could go overboard on a Christmas booze.

01:25Illegal and immoral.

01:26I'm going to have a word with my daughter, and I'm going to prosecute.

01:31Jasmine, I want this on the front page.

01:33With a photograph of the Emmerdale Poisoner.

01:37Was it Uncle Shadrack made everyone poorly?

01:39He's just confessed as much, love.

01:41Yeah, thanks to him, the old village is knee-deep in vomit and diarrhoea.

01:44Yeah, and I might have to cancel the pantos.

01:48What are you going to do about it?

01:50Established guilt.

01:51Now, all that is left to discuss is reparation.

01:59Damage done to my reputation is beyond price.

02:02What about a donation to your charity for Miss Prophets?

02:06You want bread and water on Christmas Day, you go ahead.

02:09I'll tell you what I want.

02:10I want you, served up, nice and crispy, with an apple in your mouth

02:13and stuffing up your backside for Christmas Day lunch.

02:16Accompanied by fava beans and a fine chianti.

02:19Chas! The wicked stepmother!

02:23Excuse me? You can ask Kelly.

02:25I'm nothing more than charming, caring and supportive.

02:28Mind you, the way she's behaved, you wouldn't think it.

02:30Well, no. Val had to pull out the panto.

02:32Along with my Donna.

02:34So, how would you feel about standing in?

02:37I'm nobody's second choice.

02:39Oh. Oh, well, apparently, talking to Lily,

02:42they only cast Val because she offered free fabric for costumes.

02:45No, it didn't.

02:46Doesn't mean he's off the hook.

02:47Damn right it doesn't.

02:50I am truly sorry that my idiot brother got you all in hot water.

02:55So, how about, er...

02:58Well, compensation.

03:00Plus, eh?

03:02A starring role in the panto as reparation.

03:05Leave Shad to us.

03:07A starring role, you say?

03:09Well, give it some thought, once I've read the script.

03:11Well, what about, what about my re-reparation?

03:16Well, how about an extra drop of the hard stuff when you come round at Christmas?

03:22Hey, plus, you can torture Shad in any manner you see fit.

03:27Oh, that's very...

03:28I'm, I'm not sure about Christmas.

03:31It's just Don's not feeling so good.

03:34I'll, er...

03:35I'll level with you, son.

03:38Our Sam is a-searching his independence this year.

03:42And it's, well, breaking Lisa's heart.

03:44Well, I'm Cinderella.

03:46And I'm...

03:47Yeah.

03:48Oh, it's going to be the first Christmas in our new home.

03:52Yeah, the first of many.

03:54But neither me or Lisa are getting any younger.

03:59Who knows what next year could bring.

04:03Hmm?

04:05We'll come round after Christmas dinner.

04:07Good lad.

04:09And we shall all come to your new home on Boxing Day, eh?

04:14How's about that for an elegant salute?

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