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  • 5 days ago
Older, wiser — and still hilarious. Kevin Hart opens up about his midlife mishaps, from intimacy pills to the perils o | dG1fZUNsTmlqTXBFVGc
Transcript
00:00Let's go!
00:07I'm not the same man that I used to be.
00:1045 is different.
00:11All we talk about now is injuries and medicine.
00:13This is real shit.
00:14Getting injured after 40, you do not make it back to 100%.
00:18Look at this arm.
00:19All the way up.
00:20See that?
00:21Not this side.
00:22There it is.
00:23Right there.
00:24Show the doctor.
00:25You know what the doctor said?
00:26Just use the other side.
00:27I said, bitch, fix it!
00:30These younger kids get hurt.
00:31They bounce right back.
00:32I was playing basketball.
00:33One of the kids twisted his ankle.
00:34Bow!
00:35I said, oh, shit!
00:36You know how you fix it in real time?
00:37You bent down, tied your shoe up tight.
00:39Jumped up.
00:43You can't do no shit like that after 40.
00:45Your ankle hit that court.
00:46The next day, you in that boot.
00:48I thought you twisted your ankle.
00:50Turns out it's my meniscus and my Achilles.
00:53They say I'm out for eight months.
00:54Eight months?
00:57You didn't even play!
01:00Older you get, the less you can have.
01:01Old people don't give a fuck.
01:02Come on, grandpop.
01:03You know you can't eat that salt.
01:04Motherfucker, I know!
01:05I love the spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.
01:08Every time I eat that sandwich, it comes out my ass like a buckshot.
01:11One shot.
01:12Fah!
01:13I don't even look back.
01:14I know it's a mess.
01:15I know!
01:16I got a fear of hurting myself to the point where I can't move,
01:19but I fall underneath the shower head, and the water keep coming down,
01:23and I got to sit there and fight for my life.
01:26It's six hours, and I'm like...
01:28That's how they find me, with a little dick,
01:38because I've been in the fucking water for six hours.
01:40Shoot me, man!
01:53You're right!
01:54I'm good!
01:55I'm sorry!
01:56You've really enjoyed it.
01:57You're right!
01:58This is my pillow.
01:59I'm pissed at you, and I'm tired.
02:00It's my pillow.
02:01I'm not feeling like my dad, okay?
02:02I'm going to waste it.
02:03I'm so tired.
02:04I'm going to get off the kind of coffee.
02:05I'm still tired.
02:06I'm so tired.
02:07I'm tired.
02:08I'm tired.
02:09I'm tired.
02:10I'm tired.
02:11I'm tired.
02:12I didn't even cry.
02:13I'm tired.
02:14I'm tired.
02:15I'm tired.
02:16I'm tired.
02:17I'm tired.
02:19I'm tired.
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