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00:00When you speak, you are being judged. So if you want to be respected, you need to be in complete control of this and this and this.
00:08So today I'm going to show you real proof from business leaders, experts, celebrities, and myself after running a portfolio of dozens of businesses to command respect and attention.
00:19Because if you can't take control of any room when you walk in, how can you expect to take control of your income, your opportunities, and your future?
00:26By the way, if you don't know me, I'm Cody Sanchez and I run a nine-figure holding company called Contrarian Thinking.
00:32Let's get you in the CEO's seat.
00:35Focusing on words.
00:36You know what separates people who command respect from those who don't?
00:39It's not their title, their bank account, or even their expertise.
00:42It's actually how they speak.
00:44And I'm not talking about having a fancy vocabulary or perfect grammar.
00:48I'm talking about simple shifts and how you use your voice that will make people lean in, listen up, and take you seriously.
00:54Let me show you this clip from Jordan Peterson so we can steal his homework.
00:58Let's say you've got a kid and you want the kid to improve.
01:01You don't set them a bar that's so high that it's impossible for them to attain it.
01:04You take a look at the kid and you think, okay, this kid's got this range of skill.
01:08Here's a challenge we can throw at him or her that exceeds their current level of skill, but gives them a reasonable probability of success.
01:16Do you notice a few things about it?
01:18His pace he's speaking at.
01:20He doesn't rush his words like he's apologizing.
01:23He speaks deliberately, like every word matters.
01:26In short, he slows way down.
01:28When we're defending an unpopular opinion, like he often does, or if we're trying to prove our worth, most of us speed up like we're afraid someone's going to cut us off.
01:36But here's the thing.
01:37Rushing makes you sound anxious, not authoritative.
01:40When you slow down, you give yourself space to think, which means fewer ums and more confidence.
01:45A perfect place to slow down is in meetings.
01:47I remember explicitly the first time I had a big chance to talk to the CEOs at a company called Vanguard back in the day.
01:55I was probably 21 years old.
01:57When they said, do you have any questions?
01:58My hand shot up so fast.
02:00The problem is I really didn't think very much about what I was going to say yet.
02:04So probably my series of questions came out like, well, you know, I've been thinking a lot about what we should do here at the company.
02:10And what I've realized is that there's a lot going on.
02:12And then I think what's happening is I probably said nothing really quickly for the first 30 seconds.
02:18As opposed to my friend Jordan, who is smooth as butter, that guy.
02:22And he was so perfect.
02:23I remember him taking down notes while I was yapping on.
02:28And he looked at me because he's the nicest guy in the world and was like, those are great points.
02:32Then proceeded to make actual great points.
02:35He said, you know, I was listening to what you said.
02:38Two things stood out to me.
02:40The first being we were never taught how to be leaders in school.
02:45We were taught how to do, not how to lead.
02:48So I really appreciate that part of this company.
02:50The second point would be, I would love to do more meetings like this.
02:54Just hearing the way that you communicate as the CEO makes me communicate differently as a leader.
03:00Shut up, Jordan.
03:01So it's not just you.
03:02Lots of us are talking fast and not thinking too much.
03:05Be Jordan, not Cody 20 years ago.
03:08It also helps when you assume people want to know what you have to say.
03:11This is a mindset shift that changes everything.
03:14When you assume your audience is bored or disinterested, you become nervous.
03:18You start over-explaining.
03:19But when you assume they care about your message, you relax.
03:23You speak with purpose instead of apology.
03:25Jordan's a master of this.
03:27He treats every statement like it's valuable information his audience needs to hear,
03:31not like he's asking permission to speak.
03:33So if you want to make yourself articulate, which is a very good idea,
03:39then not only should you read, but you should write down what you think.
03:44If you're going to speak effectively, you have to know way more than you're talking about.
03:50Think about what he just said to you.
03:52He said, if you want to be smarter, you should not only read, but write.
03:56That's literally, that's what he said.
03:58But the way that he said it made you pause and think that maybe there was something more there.
04:02And notice how else Jordan talks.
04:05He changes his pitch strategically throughout his delivery.
04:07Most people speak in a boring, monotone way, which makes even the most important ideas sound forgettable.
04:13Jordan does the opposite.
04:15He raises his pitch to emphasize key points and lowers it to drive home conclusions,
04:20creating this rhythm that keeps you locked in, even if he's only talking about writing and reading.
04:25When you speak in a flat, unchanging tone, you're essentially telling your audience that nothing you're saying matters.
04:31You're making it easy for them to tune out.
04:33Next, notice how clean Jordan's speech is.
04:36You rarely hear him say, um, uh, like, or you know.
04:40That's because he's mastered the art of tossing his fillers.
04:43Here's what clear speech sounds like.
04:45See, I think the biggest challenge I had in my generation was negotiating the years between 13 and 15, something like that.
04:54But my sense is now the biggest challenge to young people is negotiating the transition into adulthood, into adulthood identity.
05:02And I think that's partly why we have this terrible war in our culture about what constitutes identity.
05:08You see, that's what clean speech sounds like.
05:12And here's what fumbling over your words sounds like.
05:16And, uh, you know, people, people say that, well, you want to be able to make the, you want to be able to make a call with those specifications.
05:22All right. I'm a huge Elon fan, but I think he's leveled up since then.
05:27Maybe he's even watching this video because those little verbal crutches sneak in when you're buying time to think.
05:34Elon can get away with it. He's a genius. You can't.
05:37Every filler word is you essentially saying, I'm not sure about this, but I'm talking about it anyway.
05:44Jordan replaces thinking time with strategic pauses, which actually makes him sound more thoughtful and in control.
05:50Although it may take him longer than even it took Elon.
05:53So in this clip, watch how Jordan does it.
05:56I don't think there's any difference between free speech and thought.
06:00And it has to be free because if it's not free, it's not thought.
06:03When you have a problem, you have to think.
06:04And if you have a problem, the thinking is going to be troublesome because you're going to think things that upset yourself and upset other people.
06:12Do you see how Jordan pauses instead of using filler words to plug the spaces in his speech?
06:18And if you listen to his voice itself, he's naturally tuned in to project authority.
06:24His pitch is deliberately lower.
06:25His volume is controlled.
06:27He varies his tone to emphasize key points.
06:29This is what we call tuning your voice, using it as an instrument to guide attention and create emphasis.
06:35Let me tell you how you can really mess up the tuning your voice and speaking too slow.
06:39Have you ever been in a meeting and you're like, dear God, for the love of all that's holy, please get it out.
06:43Get it out.
06:44Get whatever you're going to say out.
06:46I don't want you to slow down so much in meetings that you get in the way of people.
06:50Instead, I want you to think and I want you to prep and then I want you to speak.
06:55When you speak, I want you to think about an exclamation point at the end of almost every word.
07:01And not a loud exclamation point, but a definitive one.
07:04Sounds something like this.
07:07I love the points that you just made, Becky.
07:10I actually feel the exact same way.
07:13See the exclamation, exclamation, exclamation?
07:14One small difference.
07:17Using a number again, also showing that I have an area of expertise she doesn't.
07:21One small difference.
07:22I believe our problem is sales, not LTV.
07:26See how punchy each line is?
07:28That little exclamation point will take you very far.
07:31These five shifts are respected multipliers.
07:34And here's why that matters for your bank account.
07:36Every raise you negotiate, every client you close, they're all judging how you speak before they decide whether to give you more money.
07:41Get your voice right and you'll literally talk your way into more money.
07:45But you could master every single one of these techniques and still get completely ignored if you're making critical mistakes with your body.
07:53So let's focus on that next.
07:55Listen to this quote from Kevin O'Leary on body language.
07:58I'm sitting right in front of them when they walk out on the carpet.
08:02When they step out, the floor director says, okay, stand right there.
08:05I do this thing where I just look at and I watch their body language.
08:09And I can tell after about 90 seconds, winner, loser.
08:12Pretty crazy, isn't it?
08:14Your body language says so much, while your mouth says nothing at all.
08:18And on television, the body language in front of a shark, well, that's going to command attention or not.
08:24That is what we call claiming your territory.
08:26Most people, especially when nervous, make themselves smaller.
08:30They kind of cross their legs.
08:31They hug their arms to their body.
08:32They lean away.
08:33But watch what the rock does as opposed to this other guy.
08:37How does it feel to sit across from him?
08:41It's very humbling.
08:42That's what I say.
08:42I was thinking that when we started the interview.
08:44No, thank you.
08:45Really, though.
08:46So the first guy we're going to show you sits like this.
08:51Foot sort of weirdly to the side, slouching a little bit.
08:54Casual spread legs, but still kind of looks diminutive, right?
08:59Now, let's look at the rock.
09:01Feet firmly planted on the ground.
09:03Hands in front of him, chest out, stands up straight.
09:08He's claiming his space because, in his mind, he does own the building.
09:13Now, it's fascinating in this next clip I want to show you guys.
09:16I want you to see a move that will happen without you saying a thing if you're not really thoughtful about what's on your face.
09:24Managed with the idea of being very private in a very public job.
09:29Jamie, I'll go with you first.
09:30I think it's incredibly easy.
09:31Do you?
09:31I think you're in court, all that nonsense.
09:34You guys could probably guess that he didn't love that question regardless by the look on his face.
09:39It was so good, it's become an internet meme.
09:41You don't have to really say anything in order to be heard.
09:44There are so many things you can do that become power moves.
09:47Place your fingers together in front of your chest, like Kevin did.
09:51That's called steepling.
09:52And it's one of the most powerful confidence signals you can send.
09:55Now, if you raise your eyebrows, look to the left or right, that's saying, I'm not actually listening to you.
10:01Disrespect.
10:02Steepling works because it keeps your hands visible.
10:05So it signals honesty.
10:07It's the body language equivalent of saying, I'm confident enough to be still and to keep my hands right here where you can see them.
10:13But I want you to notice how people in power moves gesture when you're making important points.
10:18This is telling you, pay attention to me.
10:22This is saying, it's a very tiny opportunity.
10:25This is saying, huge, but I don't have to say anything.
10:28Vanessa Van Edwards, my friend, likes to call this the truth plane.
10:31When you're nervous, your hands gravitate towards your chest or neck.
10:36When you're confident, they settle lower.
10:38And if you pay attention to eye contact, it's not just direct.
10:40The rock was calculated.
10:42He holds it slightly longer than most people are comfortable with.
10:45This is a subtle power dynamic.
10:47He's not staring aggressively.
10:48He's demonstrated he's completely present and unintimidated.
10:52Unconfident people break eye contact.
10:54They look too quickly, especially when delivering important information.
10:57But sustained eye contact, three to four seconds before glancing away, that creates connection that helps you bond.
11:03These aren't just posture tips.
11:04They're power signals that change how people respond to you before you even speak.
11:08But knowing what not to do is just as important.
11:10So let me show you exactly what kills your credibility instantly.
11:13Let's flip the script and look at someone who, despite being one of the most successful entrepreneurs on the planet,
11:18shows you what not to do with your body language.
11:20On Facebook, social media privacy, and the use and dish and abuse of data, although not unprecedented.
11:30Notice how he's nodding awkwardly like a dashboard bobblehead on a bumpy road.
11:36That's not engagement.
11:38It's submission signaling.
11:39Excessive nodding makes you look like you're desperately seeking approval or agreement,
11:43even when you should be projecting authority.
11:45Real engagement means nodding only when you generally agree, or when you want to encourage someone to continue.
11:51Now watch his smile in this next clip.
11:54See how it looks like he was programmed maybe by his own algorithm?
11:58Nice.
11:58What else is coming?
11:59I love Beat Saber.
12:00Lay it on us.
12:01I'm excited.
12:02All right.
12:02Thanks, Deb.
12:03This is going to be amazing.
12:05I think it's time for my workout.
12:09But enough with the fun and games.
12:11Love the guy, but wow, this is awkward.
12:13Genuine smiles involve the eyes.
12:16This is what we call the dutching smile.
12:18While forced smiles, they stop right here, right?
12:21His mechanical grin actually undermines his credibility because people instinctively recognize
12:27inauthentic facial expressions.
12:29A neutral, thoughtful expression, infinitely better than a fake smile.
12:33Another thing to be careful about, self-touching.
12:36These are gestures that make you feel calm, but they signal you're uncomfortable in your own skin.
12:40So every time you adjust your hair, your collar, you mess around with the pin, you're essentially
12:46saying, I'm not very comfortable here.
12:48If you think you're alone, you're not.
12:50I have a member of my team who I love.
12:51She's very competent.
12:53But one of the other leaders in our business actually pointed something out to her.
12:56When she would communicate, she would be intensely listening.
12:59And automatically, her hands would kind of go to her face right in front of her lips.
13:03This is a huge problem for two reasons.
13:05One, what the fuck are you talking about?
13:07I can't see what she's saying.
13:09She's got her fingers in front of her face on a Zoom meeting.
13:11Total nightmare.
13:12Second is, this is actually a trigger for lying.
13:16When you touch your face, there is a signal in our brain that tells us they're hiding something.
13:21Why?
13:21Because you're actually hiding your face and it's almost like you don't trust the words
13:24that are coming out of your mouth.
13:25You may be the most trustworthy person in the planet, but if you're signaling you're not,
13:30think about it like, then people are probably going to believe you.
13:33Another thing some people like to do is called prop blocking.
13:36Essentially, it's creating a physical barrier between you and who you're speaking with.
13:42It makes you appear closed off, untrustworthy.
13:44So try not to do it.
13:46Instead, confident people don't keep their body closed or things in front of them.
13:50They don't hide behind objects or create barriers.
13:54They're open, accessible.
13:55If you have to have something in your hand, you keep it to the left, you keep it to the right,
13:58but you don't keep it in front.
14:00Now, notice Mark's posture during this video call.
14:04How unnaturally straight is this?
14:06I have to say, when you're building products to try to connect everyone in the world,
14:10connecting folks who are out in space is about as extreme and cool as it gets.
14:17So it's awesome to have the opportunity to...
14:19Okay.
14:19Again, an incredible guy, but it looks like he's following a manual on how humans should sit.
14:25This posture makes him look uncomfortable, inauthentic, robotic.
14:30With real confidence, it's easy.
14:32You're alert, but not rigid.
14:33Present, but not performing.
14:36The most damaging aspect of poor body language isn't that it makes you look bad.
14:40It's that it makes people question your authenticity.
14:42When your words say one thing, but your body says another,
14:45people trust what they see more than what they hear.
14:47So Mark's disconnect between his verbal confidence and his physical discomfort
14:52has caused the internet to call him a cyborg, which I don't know, maybe.
14:56And the irony is that his success proves that good ideas and execution can overcome poor presence.
15:01But imagine how much more influential he could be if his body language matched his brain.
15:06So the way you move can kill your credibility.
15:08But if you just pay more attention to your body movements,
15:11you can command respect without saying anything.
15:13And when you do that, you make more money, have bigger opportunities and better deals.
15:17Think about it.
15:18People don't invest in ideas.
15:19They invest in the person presenting them.
15:21So your body language either costing you money or making it.
15:24There's one more element that ties everything together.
15:27Your overall presence and how you show up authentically in any situation.
15:31So you've mastered your voice.
15:33You've fixed your body language.
15:34But there's still something missing.
15:36You can speak with perfect authority and stand with complete confidence.
15:40But if you're boring, people will still tune out.
15:43It doesn't matter.
15:44So the difference between someone who commands attention for 30 seconds
15:47and who gets it for 30 minutes is that they've mastered the art of being genuinely interesting.
15:51You have to fight the lazy.
15:53Someone asks you what you've been up to.
15:55You should have an answer that makes them lean in,
15:57not check for their phone, or see who else is behind them.
16:00A simple compliment can go a long way to getting someone to be more interested in you.
16:04People love to be complimented.
16:05And if you genuinely point out something that you like about them,
16:09I do this almost every time I meet somebody,
16:11their style, their humor, nice bracelets.
16:13I like the hair.
16:14What are those earrings?
16:15This gives you an opportunity to continue the conversation.
16:18And if continuing the conversation is tough for you, practice yes and.
16:22This is a technique they use in improv school.
16:24Keeps conversations flowing, more open-minded, and fun.
16:28Basically, when someone shares an idea, acknowledge it or build on it.
16:32Don't shut it down.
16:33Don't change the subject.
16:34Don't jump to what you care about.
16:36You're going to turn the ordinary exchange into collaboration.
16:39So for example, stop.
16:43I've got a gun.
16:44The gun?
16:45The gun I gave you for our wedding anniversary, Eric?
16:47How could you?
16:48We're not married.
16:49Aha.
16:50We're not married is a denial.
16:52We've learned our first improv lesson.
16:54This is actually a really good lesson for life.
16:56Because think about it.
16:57What she's saying is, follow along with me.
17:00Don't shut me down.
17:01If you can do that in exchange, you can turn it into an adventure.
17:04If you want allies in your job and in your life, it's really good to be a yes and-er,
17:10not a no thanks-er.
17:12We want to think about how to build on things as opposed to tear somebody else's down.
17:17Now, that is really hard to do when you know maybe that their idea is bad.
17:20You've already tried it.
17:21It's not going to work.
17:22Why would I listen to them?
17:23But instead, I want you to take a pause and think about,
17:26if I wasn't allowed to shut somebody down,
17:29do you think they would feel better not getting shut down or worse after getting shut down?
17:34Probably going to feel better if you don't shut them down.
17:36So try this in the beginning, especially when you're not in charge.
17:39This is a power move when you're not the CEO.
17:41And that is to go, yes, that idea is super interesting.
17:45I like it.
17:45What if we also did, or what if we did this, or have you thought about that?
17:50It allows you to take their stance and you're going to add your spin to it.
17:55You even might actually be saying, no, this instead.
17:58But the way that you say things matters.
18:01Try that and tell me what works.
18:03Next, just have an opinion.
18:04Interesting people take thoughtful stances, sometimes contrarian ones.
18:08It doesn't always mean you have to be rude.
18:10You could say, I actually hate breakfast.
18:12I know people think it's the most important meal of the day.
18:14I think they're wrong.
18:15You could also say, everybody today is talking about how there's a XYZ happening.
18:21I think it's a Y.
18:22What is a closely held belief that you have that would at least get somebody else to disagree
18:26with you or maybe agree with you?
18:28This allows you to have a disrespectful or respectful conversation, but at least a memorable one.
18:34Next, let's talk about the way you look.
18:35If you're going to be in a business meeting and you want to make more money,
18:38what should you probably do?
18:39I don't know, dress in business clothes, right?
18:41Actually, before I came in here, I was in my jean dress only because we're going to film
18:46something else that's pretty chill after this.
18:47I was like, we're going to talk about confidence and we're going to talk about presenting.
18:51I should probably put on a blazer.
18:52This isn't rocket science.
18:53It has nothing to do with your waistline.
18:55You could be nice and round.
18:57You could be really skinny and either way, you could present yourself well.
19:01Let's also think about what presentation you might have that's abnormal.
19:05Let's say that you are a lumberjack.
19:07You're looking for lumberjack activities.
19:09Does it make a lot of sense for you to show up in a suit clean shaven?
19:12No, it doesn't.
19:13So whatever you are trying to accomplish, sometimes it's just easier to look the part.
19:18And lastly, here's something most people never think about.
19:20Mirroring.
19:21The most charismatic people unconsciously mirror the body language and speaking patterns of the
19:25people they're talking to.
19:26They match energy levels, speaking pace, and even posture.
19:30Instant rapport creation because people feel understood and connected.
19:34Perfect example.
19:35If I came into a room full of engineers and I was like, hey guys, what's going on?
19:38I think we're going to do this.
19:39This is going to be so fun.
19:40You guys want to go get beers after work?
19:42It's going to be amazing.
19:43I'm having the best day ever.
19:44Go team, go.
19:45What are the engineers going to do?
19:46They're like, this fucking psychopath.
19:47First of all, we're not talking to each other.
19:49Everybody's got their Oculus on.
19:50We've got our sweatshirts over our heads.
19:53Don't talk to me.
19:54We talk like this.
19:56Simultaneously, if I'm an engineer and I walk into a room full of salespeople and I'm wearing
19:59said Oculus, I'm going to have a difficult time communicating with the meat eating salespeople.
20:05So you want to mirror the person that you're talking to.
20:07Don't be a creep.
20:08Don't be Mark Zuckerberg trying to perfectly pattern what a human is like.
20:12But instead, think about, huh, this person's a little soft-spoken.
20:15So just calm down, Cody.
20:18Don't come so hard at them.
20:20This person's pretty intense.
20:21Amazing.
20:22I might speak faster, louder, with my hands more.
20:25This instant connection makes them feel seen without you having to say anything.
20:30Super fast case study.
20:31So back in the day, I was a rather confident little rascal.
20:35And I sat in on a business meeting at a very large financial firm where I was working.
20:40In that meeting, there was a series of leaders in there who were all very confident.
20:45And one of them has what I would only describe as BDE, you know, sort of that big dick energy
20:50in meetings.
20:51And as we're sitting around this big conference table, he's kind of like slouching, you know,
20:56and like really just, he's taking up space.
20:59He's doing something like this, you know, kind of laying back, really think about it.
21:03Everybody's leaned into him.
21:05And I think, because I don't understand body language cues to hierarchy yet, I think that's
21:11why they're listening to him.
21:12Do you see how he's, I'm going to do the exact same thing.
21:14So super embarrassing, little 22-year-old Cody walks into the next meeting to give a presentation
21:20to my managers.
21:22And as I'm presenting, I sit back, I'm like clicking through the slides like this, you
21:27know, talking like we're all buddies.
21:28I remember horrified.
21:30I thought I killed it, by the way.
21:31At the end of the meeting, I remember one of my bosses coming up to me because corporate
21:35life, I had like 52 bosses, comes up to me and was like, literally, what are you doing?
21:41And I was like, oh no, were the numbers wrong?
21:42She's like, no, why did you do that weird thing where you leaned back and slouched everywhere?
21:47And I had to embarrassingly say, I heard this thing called mirroring and I was doing it because
21:50somebody else was doing it.
21:52So be careful.
21:53There is a hierarchy to mirroring, meaning you can't come in and, you know, do a huge
21:57manspread on somebody who's a way higher hierarchy than you.
22:01I want you to mirror, but within your own frame.
22:04So now you have my tricks you can try to apply to your day-to-day conversations and make
22:09more money.
22:09Let me show you exactly how this works in practice and what good and bad looks like live.
22:15Now I'm going to take this all together and teach you how to ask for a raise the right
22:20way and the wrong way.
22:22Let's start by going back 20 years ago to Cody before I ran all these companies and show
22:27you how I would ask if I absolutely did not want to get a raise or make any money.
22:33Hey boss, do you just have a few minutes to talk about something that I've been thinking
22:37about recently?
22:38Oh, okay.
22:39Great.
22:40So I have been working really hard at the company.
22:43I think you probably noticed like other people have been talking about it.
22:46And I know that like the company has been doing really well.
22:50And so I think that I deserve a raise and I deserve a raise because I do work really hard.
22:57And so anyway, other people in the industry get raises and make more money than I do.
23:03And so I think that I should.
23:06Not going to make any money.
23:07Let me show you the right way to do it.
23:09First of all, ditch the props.
23:11It's okay if you have glasses.
23:12Ditch the blocker in front of you.
23:15The next thing you're going to do, instead of having a small position like this, you're
23:19going to be wide.
23:20Instead of having a constricted position, you're going to be open.
23:23Instead of having a closed leg position, you're going to stand steady on both feet.
23:28Your legs aren't going to be up here.
23:30They're not going to be by your throat.
23:32They're instead going to be right around the middle.
23:34You're going to knock on the door and make eye contact.
23:37Remember, three to four seconds.
23:39Hey boss, do you have a few minutes?
23:41Slower, no ums, said the exact same thing.
23:45I wanted to talk to you.
23:47Little pause.
23:48You're making sure that that person has your attention.
23:51You have their attention.
23:52They're making eye contact with you.
23:54They're going to look up and say, okay, I wanted to talk to you about my job here at
24:01this company.
24:02Over the last couple of months, I've worked incredibly hard.
24:06Hopefully you've noticed.
24:07You're very busy.
24:08So I understand if you haven't, what's good about this?
24:11I'm using you language.
24:12I'm pausing.
24:13I'm using inflection.
24:15I'm also using my hands to mimic the motion, but not moving too much.
24:20You may have noticed or you haven't.
24:21I know you're quite busy.
24:23I researched and found that my position is really a market rate of X.
24:29Right now I'm being paid Y.
24:32Because of that, I'd like to make sure that we remedy that between the two.
24:37What are you doing now?
24:39Rational.
24:39You're showing left versus right.
24:41You're giving numbers to back it up.
24:43Numbers and statistics help your case immensely when you're trying to communicate authority.
24:48Then you're going to say, now I understand.
24:50What are you doing?
24:51And you back up for a second because you're trying to make them not feel threatened.
24:54You put your hands out.
24:56Okay, we're on the same page.
24:57We're trying to get to the same thing.
24:58And then you say, I understand that just because a market makes X doesn't mean that I should be paid Y.
25:05So what I'd like to talk to you about is what I need to do to have my position be worth this to you.
25:12Is there something else that I can do today?
25:14At which point you turn the raise conversation into an open negotiation.
25:19That is how you get a raise.
25:21Now, you might actually get a raise the other way.
25:24Your likelihood will be a lot less.
25:27And there will be disrespect by the way that you asked.
25:30So I hope if you use the second way and you watch this video, you can comment on this video and tell me how much more money you actually got by asking your boss.
25:39Last little tip.
25:42Film yourself.
25:43Because I think what you're going to find is you might think you're projecting authority.
25:47And all of a sudden, you're the one sitting weirdly on your foot, leaning to the left or the right.
25:51You have something in front of you that is your prop block.
25:55You have ums and ahs in your sentence.
25:58Instead, take a deep breath.
26:00Refilm again until it's so cool, calm, and collected, you know when you go into your boss's office, it won't be a problem.
26:07Commanding respect isn't about being the loudest person in the room or having the most impressive title.
26:12It's about mastering the fundamentals of how you speak, how you act, and how you show up authentically in every conversation.
26:17But the way you carry yourself is just the beginning.
26:20The real game changer is how you think.
26:22And if you want to learn how to think like the wealthy instead of just looking confident, I got you.
26:27Watch this next video.
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