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The best characters let down by awful movies.
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00:00You ever watch a film that is just really bad, and you know it's bad, but there's like one
00:06character who keeps you hooked throughout? Sometimes that's actually worse I find,
00:10because while you could consider the whole endeavor a write-off anyway were they not to exist,
00:15you now get to see that there actually was some real wasted potential too.
00:19I'm Ewan, you're watching WarCulture, and here are 10 brilliant characters trapped in terrible movies.
00:26Be warned, there are some spoilers ahead.
00:3010. Lobster Johnson – Hellboy 2019
00:34As someone who absolutely adores Mike Mignola's Hellboy and BPRD books, yeah,
00:40let me just say that the 2019 movie could not have been any more disappointing.
00:45Whatever film Neil Marshall had planned, I don't know, but the end result is like an awful Deadpool
00:51Suicide Squad 2016 mix that completely misrepresents the tone of the comics.
00:56Even poor David Harbour is misdirected in the role, making Hellboy a loud, shouty manchild,
01:02and not the stoic, permanently tired hero with a conscience he is in the comics.
01:07That said, the film did have flashes of brilliance. That scene with the Baba Yaga hits exactly the
01:14right kind of tone the entire film should have been aiming for, but fell way short of because
01:19it was obsessed with being edgy and irreverent. If any one character could lay claim to being wasted
01:26in the film, however, that would have to be Lobster Johnson. A pulp-inspired superhero who operated in
01:32the 1930s, the lobster was faithfully brought to life by Thomas Hayden Church early on in a flashback,
01:37and then again in a mid-credits scene. A clear reminder of the potential the 2019 film absolutely
01:43squandered.
01:449. Angelique Beauchard – Dark Shadows
01:48Eva Green's career is a bit of an odd one, because while she's incredibly talented and
01:54often steals the show whenever she's around, she also has a habit of turning up in terrible
01:59movies that are clearly not worthy of her talents. This has never been more true than with Dark Shadows,
02:05Tim Burton's laziest and most unforgivably poor movie to date, which follows vampire Barnabas
02:11Collins, Johnny Depp, as he attempts to protect his descendants from his murky past. With cheesy
02:16humour, nonexistent character development, and a convoluted plot which never gets to grips with
02:21itself, Dark Shadows is a tough film to get through simply because it's so frustratingly disappointing.
02:28That being said, Eva Green's excellently hammy turn as antagonistic witch Angie Beauchard is one of the
02:34actress's best roles, an over-the-top and deliriously funny villain who skates on the edge of parody,
02:40but nonetheless ends up the most well-drawn and compelling character in the film.
02:458. Hannibal King – Blade Trinity
02:49While the first two Blade movies were great little action flicks that proved you didn't have to be Batman to
02:54make a solid superhero film, Blade Trinity left a sour taste in the mouths of moviegoers
03:00everywhere, bombing critically worldwide. Thanks to its infamous production trouble,
03:05supposedly caused by Wesley Snipes who has long denied any accusations of behind-the-scenes malarkey
03:11as well as the derivative script, Trinity watches like a cheap fan film with shitty special effects
03:16and cliched villains at every turn. Once you get past Snipes' uninterested performance
03:21and the poor plot, though, there is a lot to be enjoyed in Ryan Reynolds' turn as former vampire
03:27Hannibal King, a fast-talking, uber-confident hunter who steals the entire movie from everyone around
03:33him. Bringing in his typical charm and comedic style to the role, Reynolds is on top form throughout and
03:39even manages to distract from the awful film he's trapped in, a sign of what was to come yet again
03:44when he played Deadpool in X-Men Origins Wolverine. Number 7, Bertha Robocop 3
03:52To say that Robocop 3 is a bad movie would be a massive understatement, especially when you compare
03:58it to the first film in the franchise, which at least has the common courtesy to realize how ridiculous it is.
04:04The issues with the threequel are endless, but the most glaring flaws lie with the recasting of original Robocop actor
04:11Peter Weller, the toned down age rating and generic action scenes, the silly villains, and the fact
04:17that Robocop himself has very little to do. Though it would be unfair to classify it as a total failure
04:24simply because it gave fans CCH Pounder's badass freedom fighter Bertha. Whenever Bertha was on
04:30screen, there were hints of a great story coming to life, thanks in equal measure to Pounder's commanding
04:36performance and the themes of oppression and corruption she brought to the table. Unfortunately,
04:40Bertha didn't last and the film suffered without her until its dreadful finale.
04:45Number 6, Billy Hope Southpaw
04:48Southpaw is the kind of by-the-book sports drama where you know exactly what's going to happen,
04:54how it's going to end, and what obstacles the characters will have to face. It's unoriginal,
04:59bordering on boring, let down by its generic script and spoiler-filled trailer.
05:04But at the center of it all is Jake Gyllenhaal, who as ever offers up a remarkable performance
05:10as star boxer-turned-broken-widower Billy Hope. Not only did Gyllenhaal get ripped for the role and
05:16put in some serious hours to get himself into boxer fit shape, but he seems to be the only person
05:22involved in the film who actually cares about what's going on. Billy is a deeply complex figure,
05:27driven by his ego, then his heartbreak, then the love he has for his daughter, and watching him go
05:33through the struggles of parenthood, addiction, and mourning makes for seriously great viewing.
05:38In the end though, Billy is all the film has going for it. It's a striking character city,
05:43but the plot around him moves with dull predictability.
05:47Number 5, Richard Mesner, Smokin' Aces
05:51For all his popularity, longevity, and charm, Ryan Reynolds has a strange habit of starring in films
05:57which end up being critical and commercial failures, hence the reason he makes this list twice.
06:02In Smokin' Aces, an odd assortment of hired killers are sent after a mafia informant,
06:07whilst two FBI agents were to protect him for an upcoming trial.
06:11Despite the packed cast, which also includes Alicia Keys, Common, and Ben Affleck,
06:17it realizes Agent Richard Mesner who emerges as the film's leading character. A man caught between a
06:22rock and a hard place, he's driven by his duty, but soon learns a series of devastating truths which
06:28shake his world view. And though Mesner makes for a great vocal point, the rest of Smokin' Aces'
06:33views like nothing more than a gratuitously over-the-top dialogue-driven thriller that's
06:38clearly trying its hardest to be a Tarantino-esque action flick.
06:42Number 4, Officer Max Kennard, Gangster Squad
06:46Reuben Fleischer's dull action drama Gangster Squad tells a fictionalized story of the downfall of
06:52infamous mob boss Mickey Cohen, played by Sean Penn, wearing laughably poor prosthetics.
06:58The film stars Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Michael Pena, Anthony Mackie, Nick Nolte,
07:05Giovanni Ribisi, and Robert Patrick, and somehow squanders every ounce of its impossibly stacked
07:11talent to undeveloped characters, weak storytelling, and an overly dark tone which is
07:16overflowing with generic action sequences and tired dialogue. Amongst all these glaring issues,
07:22there are bright spots, including a tragically underused role from the T-1000 himself, Robert
07:27Patrick, who turns in a solid performance as renowned detective and sharpshooter Max Kennard.
07:33There are references peppered throughout the film about Kennard's legendary gunsling in
07:37past, and he spends much of the movie acting as the voice of reason and wisdom amongst his younger
07:42and more impatient squad members. In the end though, he's barely around, and despite a standout
07:48moment in the final act, he ends up little more than a wasted piece of potential in a film that
07:52really should have been this generation's untouchables.
07:55Number 3, Charlotte Bless, The Paperboy
07:59Based on Pete Dexter's novel of the same name, The Paperboy has an awful lot going for it. Written by
08:05Dexter and director Lee Daniels, it features a staggering cast comprised of Matthew McConaughey,
08:11Zac Efron, John Cusack, and Nicole Kidman, as well as a striking murder mystery. Unfortunately,
08:17the film features little of the novel's intelligence and raw emotional power. The plot dulled by shock
08:22value violence, dark tonal shifts, and surprisingly weak performances from Efron and McConaughey.
08:28But then there's Kidman, who plays the film's standout character, Charlotte Bless,
08:33a tragic and hopeful woman who falls in love with murderer Hilary Van Wetter, played by Cusack,
08:38only to find her romance overshadowed by Van Wetter's abusive behavior and murderous impulses.
08:44Easily the most compelling character in the movie, Bless is a seriously complex creation who is as
08:49seductive as she is intimidating. The film around her may just be a melodramatic mess,
08:55but Bless is the character well worth seeing it for.
08:572. Vincent Corleone – The Godfather Part III
09:02The Godfather Part III is the single most disappointing movie sequel ever made,
09:07a wasteful drama which feels like a cheap knockoff of its predecessors as opposed to a genuine direct
09:12follow-up. Following the infamous Michael Corleone as he attempts to leave his empire behind and make
09:18a worthy successor out of his nephew Vincent, played by Andy Garcia, the film is presented as a final
09:23farewell to the film's most iconic characters and an epilogue to Michael's epic rise and fall tale.
09:29But it doesn't feel that way. It feels disjointed and unrelated to its predecessors,
09:34strangely uninteresting and nothing more than an uninspired retread of what already came before.
09:40All that aside though, it does have one major saving grace in Garcia's Vincent Corleone,
09:46a powerhouse of a character who brings to mind the early development of his uncle and steals the film
09:51at every turn. An eager man with a big temper and unwavering loyalty to his family,
09:56Vincent could easily carry his own trilogy if he had the chance and hadn't been so royally let down
10:02by the film he ended up headlining.
10:041. Sandy Lyle – Along Came Polly
10:08Without question, while the best actors of his generation, the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman
10:13had a way with stealing the show in even the most uninspired of movies. Case in point, Along Came Polly,
10:20a so-called rom-com which stars Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston as a pair of strangers who
10:25slowly fall in love despite the various personal and professional obstacles in their path. With
10:30its gross-out humour, unlikeable characters, lack of originality and tepid romantic chemistry,
10:36the film would be best left totally unseen if it wasn't for Hoffman's hysterical turn as Stiller's
10:42best friend Sandy Lyle, a struggling actor, former teen idol and hilarious narcissist who's
10:47dreaming of making a major comeback. Considering how genuinely terrible the
10:51main characters are in the film, Along Came Polly would have made a much more engaging comedy
10:57if it had dropped the Stiller-Aniston romance and instead focused on Sandy Lyle's attempts to
11:02sort his career out. What a waste!
Recommended
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