- 3 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, jump it? That's a good jump. Get the ball, Steve. Get it. Get the ball. You want to play with your brother?
00:00:15Cabot. Steve, come play with Cabot. Don't you hit your brother? Come on, Cab.
00:00:30Come on. Picture this. A warehouse. About 20,000 square feet. Windows along the side. Looks like an ordinary warehouse. Until you get closer. And all you see are heads.
00:00:52Heads? What kind of heads you talking about?
00:00:55Heads. Happy heads. Smiling heads. Heads drifting in and out of the windows.
00:01:00A projection of heads? Like a jumbo truck? No. Real heads. Heads defying gravity. There are heads everywhere. And everyone's having fun. Good, genuine fun.
00:01:11Trampoline world. The first of its kind in the state of Louisiana.
00:01:16Hey, Kev. You feel like working today, huh?
00:01:20See? Take the hammer. Take the nail. You swing the hammer.
00:01:26And then when all the nails are in, we get paid. And then we get to go home.
00:01:34Kev, I want to ask you a question. You think grown-ass adults from Louisiana all gonna come to a building full of trampolines and jump around?
00:01:43Well, gymnastics and trampoline are amongst the fastest-growing sports in America.
00:01:47Well, so is obesity.
00:01:51No offense, brother, but you need to get laid.
00:01:55Whoa, whoa, whoa. He still hasn't done any fucking since the incident?
00:01:58Nope.
00:02:01Gah!
00:02:02Why'd you have to go bring up the incident?
00:02:05I didn't bring up the incident.
00:02:06All right, that's fucking drugs. Let's get off the goddamn room.
00:02:09Let's get out of here.
00:02:10What do you want to go with?
00:02:11I don't want to go to a titty ball.
00:02:15Are you gonna work at all today, Kev?
00:02:18Just give me a minute.
00:02:19You know, you gotta forget about Angie, man.
00:02:21Maybe the boys are right. Maybe you gotta get back out there and get laid.
00:02:25Listen, it's time for you to get back in the game.
00:02:27I am in the game.
00:02:29I'm just not having sex.
00:02:35I'm having sex, guaranteed.
00:02:42My pedestal, I just won't need.
00:02:50There's no curse. You're not cursed.
00:02:54Can't let one girl ruin your whole goddamn life, Kevin.
00:02:59Oh, shit.
00:03:16God.
00:03:17God, you're so stupid, Kevin.
00:03:20That apron suits you. You should keep it.
00:03:24Oh, and please, take whatever you like from the Les Crusades stuff.
00:03:28In fact...
00:03:33Stupid, Kevin.
00:03:35You doing okay there, senor?
00:03:39Oh, hey.
00:03:41Yeah, I'm good.
00:03:42You don't mind if we take the silvers?
00:03:45No, it's cool.
00:03:46Oh, that's nice.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54No problem.
00:03:56Guy's giving you a hard time up there?
00:03:59Who?
00:04:01Oh.
00:04:02Nah.
00:04:04What do you think your name is?
00:04:07I was gonna go with Muriel or...
00:04:10or Sasha.
00:04:12Think Sasha's married?
00:04:14Uh...
00:04:16Yeah.
00:04:17Maybe. I don't know.
00:04:19One thing I can tell you about catering.
00:04:22Some of these girls really know how to party.
00:04:25Whoa!
00:04:27You just gotta smile.
00:04:29What?
00:04:30No.
00:04:31I don't think so.
00:04:32You did.
00:04:33I saw her, man.
00:04:34Nah.
00:04:37Mmm.
00:04:39Juicy.
00:04:41So is this guy an asshole?
00:04:43What guy?
00:04:45A guy whose house this is.
00:04:48What makes you say that?
00:04:50Well, he's got a chair in the shape of a hand.
00:04:56You don't like the chair?
00:04:58Well, anyone who has enough money to buy joke furniture is probably an asshole.
00:05:04It wasn't meant to be funny.
00:05:06Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
00:05:07No, you...
00:05:09You have a really great house.
00:05:11What's your name?
00:05:13Kevin.
00:05:14What do you say, Kev?
00:05:16Call me Hank.
00:05:18You should come to my party tonight.
00:05:21There's gonna be a lot of women here.
00:05:22And, uh, a lot of these ladies are gonna be high on narcotics.
00:05:28Oh.
00:05:30Uh, I'm good.
00:05:32Are you?
00:05:33Are you good?
00:05:37Okay.
00:05:39Party starts at 8.
00:05:41Hope to see it.
00:05:43Oh, and, uh, if you want the hand chair, it's yours.
00:05:52Party's a party!
00:06:09Well, I mean, I don't know him, but...
00:06:11But I feel sad for him.
00:06:13What does he do?
00:06:14Huh?
00:06:15What is he doing up there?
00:06:16He's a roover.
00:06:17He's roofing up on the house, you know?
00:06:18He wasn't... He was a nice guy.
00:06:19to talk to him, but he shouldn't be giving people rupees, man.
00:06:30Show me that cork trick again.
00:06:32He showed you like 30 times.
00:06:34It takes brains, bro.
00:06:35Whatever.
00:06:36At least I don't think my dick is cursed.
00:06:38What did I say?
00:06:38I don't want to talk about it.
00:06:40Why?
00:06:40Just tell us.
00:06:41Come on.
00:06:41He sounds like an idiot when he talks about it.
00:06:43No, because every time I even think about sex,
00:06:46something bad happens.
00:06:46You bring up Angie today, and I nearly take off my thumb with a claw hand.
00:06:50Let me see.
00:06:51Let me see that.
00:06:51My dick is cursed.
00:06:52End of story.
00:06:53So you think it's possessed, or is it surrounded by, like, paranormal activity?
00:07:06Such a good-looking kid.
00:07:09He swears off sex.
00:07:12And it's a crime against nature.
00:07:14Are you still talking about the roofer?
00:07:16Hey, he just seems so sad, you know?
00:07:20You know what a f***ing coke loop is?
00:07:22Man, you're like a hamster in a wormhole.
00:07:25I can't, I just, I can't hear it anymore, Hank.
00:07:27I'm going safe.
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:32I've just had a revelation of magnitude.
00:07:37Oh, Carl, this is big.
00:07:39Can you see how big?
00:07:40It's f***ing big.
00:07:42I'm going to get this kid laid.
00:07:45This is, this is fate.
00:07:47I have to get this kid laid.
00:07:50Ah, you're a damn straight you do.
00:07:52I can see it so clearly.
00:07:56Ah, has anyone seen my phone?
00:08:00F***ing me?
00:08:02You told everyone to leave their phone here.
00:08:03Where's my phone?
00:08:04Oh, I gotta find him.
00:08:06You're kidding, right?
00:08:08It's too much responsibility.
00:08:09I can't deal with that.
00:08:14Steve.
00:08:15Steve, we're late.
00:08:17Kevin, relax.
00:08:18I'm coming.
00:08:21Nice outfit.
00:08:22Haven't seen that since first of all the community.
00:08:24Better than shorts.
00:08:25Why?
00:08:26It's the business meeting.
00:08:28It's Ted.
00:08:28He knows us.
00:08:29I don't want him going around telling Angie we're some kind of joke.
00:08:32Oh, Jesus Christ, Kev.
00:08:36You gotta stop stressing out about this Angie thing, you know?
00:08:39It's been over a year.
00:08:41It's been nine months.
00:08:42I'm close enough.
00:08:43Okay, so, trampoline world.
00:08:50We'll have six 4x4 rebounders over there, and two 6x6 Olympics in the back there.
00:08:59Kids jumping everywhere.
00:09:013D dodgeball.
00:09:03Isn't it all dodgeball 3D?
00:09:05Um, 4D dodgeball.
00:09:08Do people really want to go trampolining?
00:09:10Oh, trampolining is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:09:14Funny, I guess I missed the trampoline Super Bowl last year.
00:09:20Sorry, that's in poor taste.
00:09:22Look, boys, I loved your daddy, all right?
00:09:24But he really never was very good at math either.
00:09:28Look, what I'm trying to say is y'all's numbers don't add up.
00:09:31You see, what happens to the trampoline world if you don't make your nut the first two months?
00:09:35Hmm?
00:09:36You shut her down?
00:09:39Well, no, we just...
00:09:40No?
00:09:41So, how do you make payroll?
00:09:45How about you just come in for $10,000?
00:09:46$10,000.
00:09:47I could do that.
00:09:49What happens to my $10,000 if you don't sell the other shares?
00:09:55Got anything, Steve?
00:09:57No.
00:09:58I lose it.
00:09:59Just what I thought.
00:10:01I just don't get it.
00:10:03Sorry, I'm out.
00:10:09Why don't you jump in?
00:10:10Honestly?
00:10:12I don't get the plan myself.
00:10:19We should go on a vacation or something.
00:10:22In Costa Rica.
00:10:24A beach would be nice.
00:10:26I mean, maybe right now is not the right time for trampoline world.
00:10:28I mean, it might be the right idea, just not the right time.
00:10:32Well, it has to be.
00:10:33Huh?
00:10:35I already put down a deposit.
00:10:38A deposit with what?
00:10:39I took a note out on the house.
00:10:50Cap, you gotta be f***ing kidding.
00:10:53Did you even read this thing?
00:10:55Celine.
00:10:55Dude, you lose a f***ing hold.
00:10:58It's not.
00:10:59A trampoline will succeed.
00:11:03Trampoline.
00:11:03Are you kidding me?
00:11:04Seriously, though.
00:11:09The female fruit bat?
00:11:10She nicks the males f***ing while they're having sex.
00:11:13How is that even possible?
00:11:14She bends.
00:11:16The female fruit bat is very bendy.
00:11:18Wouldn't that make it shorter?
00:11:20Apparently not for the fruit bat.
00:11:21Hello.
00:11:24Hey, it's me.
00:11:25It's Hank.
00:11:26Oh.
00:11:26Hey, Hank.
00:11:27You missed my party, man.
00:11:29Yeah, sorry about that.
00:11:30Something came off.
00:11:31I want to do something.
00:11:33But I can't understand.
00:11:34I'm talking sex guaranteed, Ken.
00:11:36What's text guaranteed?
00:11:37Not text.
00:11:38Sex.
00:11:39Oh, sex.
00:11:40I'm here with this amazing creature.
00:11:43She's called Zaid.
00:11:44She's amazing.
00:11:46Now, Zaid wants to have sex with you.
00:11:51Well, is she desperate?
00:11:54No, she's not desperate, okay?
00:11:56This is her job.
00:11:57I'm not having sex with a hooker.
00:11:59She's not a prostitute, okay?
00:12:02She's like an expert.
00:12:08Let's say a sexpert.
00:12:11She's just got a lot of sexpertise, you know what I mean?
00:12:16That's nice of you, man, but that's not really my thing.
00:12:18Oh, come on, man.
00:12:20Relax.
00:12:21This is real intimacy.
00:12:24And frankly, it sounds like you need it.
00:12:28I don't understand what you mean.
00:12:30Think of her like a chef.
00:12:31Like, you know, a chef that comes to somebody's house,
00:12:34cooks them a meal, but just for you.
00:12:36And this chef makes $1,000 an hour.
00:12:39$1,000?
00:12:40Just listen to me.
00:12:42This is fate calling, Kevin.
00:12:45Yeah.
00:12:46Drop the hammer, get off the roof, and get your f***ers to my party.
00:12:51Yo, Kev, what the hell is sex guaranteed, man?
00:12:56That guy Hank just called me and invited me over to have sex.
00:12:59Can you believe that?
00:13:00Yeah, he's out of his mind I'm not having sex with a hooker.
00:13:03Hookers don't count.
00:13:06Everyone counts.
00:13:06Not hookers.
00:13:08It's not the same as another girl.
00:13:09They're a subset.
00:13:10So what's $1,000 about?
00:13:14Like I said, it's how much she costs.
00:13:15A day?
00:13:16I'm thinking an hour.
00:13:18Oh, you gotta do it.
00:13:19It'll be like f***ing professor of sex.
00:13:21She's gonna know more s*** than you ever even thought of.
00:13:24It's gonna be like, like, caving with like a minor.
00:13:28No, no, he's right.
00:13:29This could be good for you, Kevin.
00:13:31It's confronting your fears.
00:13:31This could break the curse.
00:13:34I'm not doing it.
00:13:35It's stupid.
00:13:36I'm not going.
00:13:36Oh, you're doing it.
00:13:38Man, dude might throw you some cash for you.
00:13:39You know, you're bouncing heads and whatnot.
00:13:42Yeah, I mean, I guess I could stop by and then I wouldn't have to have the sex, right?
00:13:46It's a rich guy getting f***ed up in a goddamn mansion.
00:13:49This is your investor.
00:13:51Come on, we're going right now.
00:13:56Did we just not get invited to the party?
00:13:58I'm just gonna do some bulls***.
00:14:06These are the rules of the egg fight.
00:14:08Open hand strikes only.
00:14:11There will be no fists allowed.
00:14:14Should the egg crack in your mouth, spit it out, stupid.
00:14:19Because you are the vanquisher.
00:14:22All right.
00:14:23Commence.
00:14:24You have offended me.
00:14:37You have offended me.
00:14:43I think I'm going to start with the fastest growing stuff first and then move into our big vision for the place.
00:14:47Maybe you want to, you know, play along a little bit before you start asking for money.
00:14:51Look, if I grab the whole investment block here today, I mean, I could take Angie to the place.
00:14:56I could show her the lease.
00:14:57Forget about Angie.
00:14:58This is about money.
00:15:00If this guy wants to get you laid, then let him get you laid.
00:15:03You got to do whatever this guy wants so that he will give you the money.
00:15:09It's a logical investment.
00:15:10I know it is.
00:15:16Be a man.
00:15:22Yeah!
00:15:24Give me a man.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:30Um, I was invited by the owner of the house.
00:15:36Oh, Jesus.
00:15:37Sorry.
00:15:37Oh, uh, sorry.
00:16:07Oh, my God.
00:16:08Oh, my God.
00:16:09Oh, my God.
00:16:09Oh, my God.
00:16:10Oh, my God.
00:16:11Oh, my God.
00:16:12Oh, my God.
00:16:13Oh, my God.
00:16:14Oh, my God.
00:16:16Oh, my God.
00:16:17Oh, my God.
00:16:18Oh, my God.
00:16:19Oh, my God.
00:16:20Oh, my God.
00:16:21Oh, my God.
00:16:22Oh, my God.
00:16:23Oh, my God.
00:16:24Oh, my God.
00:16:25Oh, my God.
00:16:26Oh, my God.
00:16:27Oh, my God.
00:16:28Oh, my God.
00:16:29Oh, my God.
00:16:30Oh, my God.
00:16:31Oh, my God.
00:16:32Oh, my God.
00:16:33Oh, my God.
00:16:34Oh, my God.
00:16:35Oh, my God.
00:16:36Oh, my God.
00:16:37What do you say Kevin you made it buddy I thought you might not show drink yeah
00:16:56sure take a seat this is the guy Kevin I'd like to
00:17:01introduce you to Zayde Zayde this is Kevin
00:17:10hi I'm Zayde
00:17:15so how's life Kevin?
00:17:16life's good
00:17:26there you go Kev
00:17:28you know that business I was telling you about yeah it's a trampolini jumping you got a business model for that how do you monetize that yeah um trampolini is one of the fastest growing sports in America they have in schools now it's huge in Asia
00:17:45how high do people get
00:17:48three footers average but professionals get a bit higher got all kinds of stuff like what
00:17:55oh there's uh sky slam basketball
00:17:58foam pits synchronized trampolini
00:18:01synchronized trampolini?
00:18:03synchronized trampolini?
00:18:05that's great
00:18:06yeah you just get two trampolines side by side with some athletes on one and the other and uh they actually got their own uh medal section at the Olympics
00:18:14yeah now we're in the rhythm see
00:18:16yeah
00:18:18this is
00:18:19this is great
00:18:20yeah this is pretty good
00:18:21yes
00:18:22yes
00:18:23with weekend traffic we expect 500 and uh with an entry fee of $12.20 it's gonna be a real earner
00:18:29how many of these trampolines you got over your place and how many people can actually synchronize at any one time
00:18:36oh we're thinking of starting with you know 30 30 trampolines
00:18:40oh
00:18:41huh
00:18:42i could actually take you guys there right now
00:18:43no no no let's do um let's do um let's count to three and then we'll do like star jump
00:18:48okay
00:18:49okay ready
00:18:50one
00:18:51two
00:18:52three
00:18:53sorry
00:18:56let me tell you something that is a terrible investment
00:18:59kids
00:19:01they're unliable
00:19:02fickle
00:19:03think about the liability
00:19:04what happened to him
00:19:05carl
00:19:06please
00:19:07come on man
00:19:08he's speaking about his dream
00:19:09his passion
00:19:10his passion
00:19:13right
00:19:14i want you two to get to know each other have a little lower time
00:19:17okay
00:19:18citizens
00:19:19everybody
00:19:20we're all moving to the tennis court right now
00:19:22tennis
00:19:23what
00:19:24we'll come with you
00:19:25no no no no no no
00:19:26say it here she's gonna make everything all right
00:19:28yeah but
00:19:30i want this to happen
00:19:32yeah
00:19:33yeah
00:19:34wait wait a minute how come she can't come with
00:19:36carl
00:19:37tennis court man come on
00:19:46okay
00:19:47um
00:19:48hi again
00:19:49hi
00:19:50you guys head to the game room
00:19:53grab the rackets
00:19:55i'll meet you on the court man
00:19:56i'll meet you on the court man
00:19:57you got it
00:19:58hey
00:19:59where you going
00:20:00putting on my whites
00:20:05i get really wet
00:20:06really quick
00:20:07home
00:20:09home that's cool
00:20:10what do you like
00:20:11i'll do anything
00:20:14you want me to be someone
00:20:16hmm
00:20:17what do you want me to be
00:20:18it's not that
00:20:19you don't understand
00:20:20okay
00:20:21none of this was your fault
00:20:25i was broken and useless before you left me
00:20:28i was broken and useless before you left me
00:20:32it's like i don't even know how regular people breathe anymore
00:20:38and i i love you and i want to i want to thank you for being so patient with me
00:20:45for so long
00:20:48y'all
00:20:49y'all
00:20:50y'all
00:20:51y'all
00:20:52y'all
00:20:53there will be a lot from poking now
00:20:55i will be stopping you
00:20:57oh y'all
00:20:59y'all
00:21:01y'all
00:21:02but i've learned now
00:21:03that i'm not good enough for you karen
00:21:07never was
00:21:10not even good enough for this world anymore
00:21:16but for once
00:21:21for once i'm gonna do the right thing
00:21:27au revoir chérie
00:21:33au revoir
00:21:35look you're so hot okay it's not you it's me
00:21:39what do you want
00:21:41you wanna get weird
00:21:43no i don't wanna get weird
00:21:46i want to f**k you
00:21:51okay but
00:21:52i'm getting paid to f**k you
00:21:54if i don't f**k you i look bad
00:21:56and this is a new gig for me
00:21:58so how about you just let me f**k you
00:22:00and we both go about our business
00:22:02look obviously i want to okay you're beautiful
00:22:04but i'm on a hiatus right now
00:22:07there's this other girl okay
00:22:10well it's her hiatus really
00:22:11but i just i'm not having sex right now okay
00:22:14i'm happy to lie for you
00:22:16i'm a good salesman
00:22:17don't f**k you
00:22:22you won't f**k me sorry hank
00:22:24i will f**k her
00:22:28i should kill me
00:22:29it'll make you feel better kevin please
00:22:32i'm not gonna beg him we were having fun before this asswipe showed up
00:22:37i'm sorry go
00:22:39you're not going how's about that
00:22:41kevin here wants to win his lady back and thinks that celibacy is the way to go
00:22:47not always the way no
00:22:49absolutely not if you really want her back the first thing you should do is f**k me
00:22:54she makes a compelling argument kev
00:22:56why don't we just go somewhere quiet so we can at least talk
00:23:05look if i told you the reason i don't want to do it you'd understand
00:23:08no one's judging here
00:23:10it's a house rule
00:23:11this is a no judgment zone okay
00:23:14it's personal it's
00:23:17i've got this problem
00:23:19is it a word
00:23:21no it's not that kind of thing it's
00:23:23it's like my d**k is cursed
00:23:26what
00:23:29the first time i f**ked off
00:23:32right
00:23:33i'm in bed sick
00:23:34home from school
00:23:35and
00:23:36i'm watching tv
00:23:37and
00:23:38the shuttle columbia
00:23:39breaks apart on re-entry
00:23:41you think you made the
00:23:43space shuttle explode
00:23:45indirectly
00:23:46no but that was an accident
00:23:48you can't take that personally
00:23:50first girl i had sex with almost died
00:23:57zayf please
00:23:59i'm serious
00:24:00we were sixteen and uh we'd been dating for about a month
00:24:03well their parents were out of town so we had a little wine
00:24:07and we're making noises and she starts to scream so i think i'm doing awesome but then she ruptured a cyst or something and she has to have surgery and for the next three days were in the hospital
00:24:22she had them before she met you
00:24:25you're missing the point
00:24:28nine months ago i was engaged to the most wonderful girl in the world
00:24:33we were at our joint bachelor and bachelorette party
00:24:37wait a minute that's not you being cursed that's you getting caught getting a blowjob off a stripper
00:24:58yeah because i'm a horny asshole and i just should have said no
00:25:01anyways i tried to explain myself
00:25:05angie she died in my hands
00:25:07angie
00:25:08she moved out the next day
00:25:10because of my dick
00:25:12i lost the one thing i ever truly cared about
00:25:15i mean that's the saddest story i've ever heard
00:25:21you just got caught cheating end of story
00:25:26no no that's way too many things to happen to one guy
00:25:31he lost his one true love
00:25:33there's nothing worse than the whole world
00:25:35he's just a narcissist
00:25:38how am i a narcissist
00:25:41you think the world revolves around your dick
00:25:44i don't want it to it just does
00:25:46no shit happens
00:25:48it's just life
00:25:49didn't you hear his story
00:25:51this man is cursed
00:25:53this is f***ing ridiculous
00:25:56none of this is connected
00:25:58let's just have sex
00:25:59nothing bad is gonna happen
00:26:00are you serious right now?
00:26:01after everything i just told you
00:26:03you still wanna have sex with me?
00:26:04trust me i know what i'm doing
00:26:06and we don't have to have sex
00:26:08i can just touch it
00:26:10just do it kev
00:26:12give it a try
00:26:13see
00:26:14isn't that nice
00:26:16guys
00:26:19carl's in trouble
00:26:20we need help
00:26:21come on
00:26:23don't you move man
00:26:29jesus
00:26:30it won't go
00:26:31yeah it's your new little blue pills baby
00:26:33okay something's wrong here
00:26:35i'm in pain
00:26:36carl
00:26:37be honest with me
00:26:38how many did you take
00:26:39130 milligrams
00:26:41god man
00:26:43you're not a rhinoceros
00:26:45get some ice
00:26:46kevin now
00:26:50oh my god
00:26:56breathe breathe
00:26:57i've got ice
00:26:58alright
00:26:59what the hell is this
00:27:02ready?
00:27:07okay
00:27:08alright carl
00:27:09listen you got this
00:27:10you can do this i know you can
00:27:11alright
00:27:12you just have to disassociate yourself from it
00:27:15trust him carl
00:27:17okay look i haven't had sex in nine months
00:27:19okay i know what i'm doing
00:27:20just listen to me
00:27:21right
00:27:22so what you need to do
00:27:23is imagine you're ann frank
00:27:25police takes me to the hospital
00:27:26carl
00:27:27what you've got is called priapism
00:27:29no hospitals
00:27:30i know a better place
00:27:32see? straight ahead
00:27:33whatever you say boss
00:27:42you ever notice how
00:27:43people are only really real
00:27:45when they're sick
00:27:46or they're dying
00:27:47or orgasmic
00:27:48bad things always come from sex
00:27:50oh shut up
00:27:51it's true without sex
00:27:52there wouldn't be
00:27:53fighting
00:27:54divorce wars
00:27:55what the f**k are you talking about
00:27:57without sex there's also no release
00:28:00no fun
00:28:01okay bad things come from recreational sex
00:28:06what's recreational sex to you?
00:28:08careless sex
00:28:09sex that
00:28:10nobody put any thought into
00:28:11oh my god
00:28:13you are a free
00:28:19what's in this?
00:28:20iv therapy
00:28:21they have my recipe on file
00:28:23i'm serious
00:28:25i'm not gonna let this guy's life be ruined
00:28:27how are you gonna do that?
00:28:29that's nice hank
00:28:30but there's nothing you can do
00:28:31i need to just
00:28:32make my business a success
00:28:34and hope that angie sees i've changed
00:28:37yes
00:28:38that's it
00:28:39you got it
00:28:40you're gonna go to angie's
00:28:42you're gonna tell her that your trampoline thing he's got off the ground
00:28:45and you're a new man
00:28:46yeah but
00:28:47you're a genius
00:28:48but that's not true
00:28:49it is true
00:28:50you let me fix this
00:28:52and i'll invest in trampoline world
00:28:57what?
00:28:58i'll give you the money
00:29:00you're
00:29:01you're gonna give me the money?
00:29:03i'll give you the startup funds
00:29:05yes
00:29:06how much can it cost?
00:29:07250? 300 grand?
00:29:09i need 60 thousand dollars
00:29:14you only need 60 grand to start a business in america?
00:29:18a great country this is, huh?
00:29:21all right i'm gonna get you the money
00:29:23we're gonna go talk to her
00:29:24tell her all about it
00:29:25we're gonna clean this whole mess up today
00:29:27we can't go see her today
00:29:28i mean
00:29:29i need to make sure the business is up and running
00:29:31and then
00:29:32no
00:29:33no
00:29:34we're doing it today
00:29:35we're doing it now
00:29:36i'm not letting your one true love get away
00:29:38we are going to her house
00:29:40right now
00:29:41i'm not letting you make the same mistakes i've made
00:29:44i'm gonna get this done if it's the last thing i do
00:29:47why are you being so nice to me, hey?
00:29:54love is the most important thing in the world, man
00:29:59it's what everything's about
00:30:02without love you got nothing
00:30:04zero
00:30:05i'm not letting you disappear, kev
00:30:08come on
00:30:09really?
00:30:10hello darling
00:30:11can i borrow a pen, please?
00:30:12this is my only pen
00:30:13i need it for my charts
00:30:14i'm good for it
00:30:15i cross my heart
00:30:16thank you
00:30:17let me see that arm
00:30:18that's 60, right?
00:30:19yeah
00:30:20okay
00:30:21let's make it 80
00:30:22what's the date today?
00:30:23the 31st
00:30:2431st
00:30:29hey
00:30:30here we are
00:30:31yeah
00:30:32i don't know what to say
00:30:33just get the girl back
00:30:35and we're all done
00:30:36we're all done
00:30:38I'm gonna do this
00:30:39this is my only pen
00:30:40i need it for my charts
00:30:41i'm good for it
00:30:42I cross my heart
00:30:43thank you
00:30:44let me see that arm
00:30:45let me see that arm
00:30:46there's 60, right?
00:30:47and we're all square.
00:30:49I'll see you outside.
00:30:55So how'd you get in this line of work?
00:30:57I like sex.
00:30:59I pretty much f*** everyone I go on a date with anyway,
00:31:02so I thought I might as well get paid for it.
00:31:05Isn't it dangerous?
00:31:07No.
00:31:08What if you don't want to do it?
00:31:09I don't do it.
00:31:10Isn't it degrading?
00:31:11I mean...
00:31:12Here's the deal.
00:31:13Sandy's gonna stay with Carl.
00:31:14I've given her combat pay.
00:31:16She's gonna get him up and moving out.
00:31:19I feel fantastic.
00:31:23Okay, pop the trunk.
00:31:24I'm gonna change.
00:31:27Thank you, Zade.
00:31:29Always gotta be prepared.
00:31:40Okay.
00:31:41So let's focus.
00:31:42Where do we find this engine?
00:31:44Why can't I just show a better word?
00:31:46Why not?
00:31:47What'd she do?
00:31:48Well, she's a schoolteacher.
00:31:49Of course she is.
00:31:51God love teachers.
00:31:53What'd she teach?
00:31:54Reading?
00:31:55Math?
00:31:56PE.
00:31:57She doesn't teach trampolining by any chance?
00:32:00No.
00:32:01I mean she does, but that's not all she does.
00:32:03I mean she...
00:32:04I love this.
00:32:05We're gonna go to the school.
00:32:06She'll be getting off soon.
00:32:07You're gonna tell her you're sorry in front of the kids.
00:32:10It'll be like in all those films.
00:32:11Then the kids will tell her to kiss you.
00:32:13It'll be great.
00:32:14I don't think we should go anywhere near her work.
00:32:17Do you want the 80 grand or not?
00:32:18Oh boy.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:20You're gonna go in there.
00:32:21You're gonna tell her you're a big success now and that you want her back.
00:32:24And why is she gonna believe I'm some big success now?
00:32:25Because you've got my IOU.
00:32:26Yeah.
00:32:27Britting on my arm.
00:32:28It sure is.
00:32:29Okay.
00:32:30Okay.
00:32:31You're gonna go in there.
00:32:32You're gonna tell her you're a big success now and that you want her back.
00:32:35And why is she gonna believe I'm some big success now?
00:32:36Because you've got my IOU.
00:32:37Yeah.
00:32:38Britting on my arm.
00:32:39It sure is.
00:32:40Okay.
00:32:41Then I'll take a photo.
00:32:42I'll take a picture of your arm and it'll act as a legal note.
00:32:43Why don't you just write him a check?
00:32:44Okay.
00:32:45What's your name, Kevin?
00:32:46Uh, McDonald.
00:32:47Uh, M-A-C.
00:32:48McDonald.
00:32:49Uh, M-A-C.
00:32:50McDonald.
00:32:51Uh, M-A-C.
00:32:52McDonald.
00:32:53Uh, M-A-C.
00:32:54McDonald.
00:32:55Uh, M-A-C.
00:32:56McDonald.
00:32:57Okay.
00:32:58Oh, yeah.
00:32:59I'm gonna go in there.
00:33:00Yeah.
00:33:01Okay.
00:33:02Okay.
00:33:03What's your name, Kevin?
00:33:04Uh, McDonald.
00:33:06Uh, M-A-C.
00:33:07McDonald.
00:33:08Uh, M-A-C.
00:33:09All right.
00:33:12We're gonna wait for you here.
00:33:14This is a bad idea.
00:33:17I mean, this...
00:33:18First of all, it's not a bad idea.
00:33:20Okay?
00:33:21And frankly, personally, I'm insulted with your negativity.
00:33:25You've gotta show this woman that you're invested in her, man.
00:33:29You gotta do something dramatic.
00:33:31That's romantic.
00:33:32Yeah, but...
00:33:34It's just not normal.
00:33:36Well, let me tell you something, Captain McDonald.
00:33:40All grand passions are abnormal.
00:33:45That's what makes them grand.
00:33:49Go get him, kid.
00:33:52Here goes nothing.
00:33:56Hey, should we go with him?
00:33:58Man, I hated school.
00:34:07You too.
00:34:08I loved it.
00:34:09Best time of my life.
00:34:12Being a kid.
00:34:17Is this whole trampolining thing a ploy to get her back?
00:34:21No.
00:34:22You know she didn't leave you because of the blowjob.
00:34:24Shh, come on.
00:34:25She did.
00:34:27No.
00:34:28No one ever leaves someone because of sex.
00:34:30What are you talking about?
00:34:31People leave each other all the time because of affairs.
00:34:33They don't.
00:34:34They leave because they don't love each other enough.
00:34:36And that's why the affair happens.
00:34:40Well, I love Angie.
00:34:42Always have.
00:34:43Not enough.
00:34:44You wouldn't have gotten a blowjob if you did.
00:34:46Here we go. Game time.
00:34:47Can I help you?
00:34:49Uh, yeah.
00:34:50We're here to see Angie Cooper.
00:34:52And who are you?
00:34:53I'm just a friend.
00:34:54An old friend of hers.
00:34:55And who are you two?
00:34:57We're new friends.
00:34:58Mm-hmm.
00:34:59I remember the chairs being bigger.
00:35:02Does everyone say that?
00:35:05Miss Cooper isn't in today.
00:35:07She's ill.
00:35:08Oh, God.
00:35:09What's wrong with her?
00:35:10Well, I can't divulge personal information.
00:35:12I'd be happy to send her a message.
00:35:14Great.
00:35:15Yeah, if you could just tell her that Kevin...
00:35:16No, no.
00:35:17That's fine.
00:35:18I'll call her.
00:35:19Thanks.
00:35:22Lame.
00:35:23Lovely school.
00:35:31We're gonna spread out.
00:35:33She's sick.
00:35:34So she's vulnerable.
00:35:36We need to put together a care package that says,
00:35:38I love you.
00:35:39That says,
00:35:40I'm gonna look after you forever.
00:35:43I'll take aisles one and two.
00:35:44Kevin, three and four.
00:35:45Zade, five and six.
00:35:50How long have you known him?
00:35:53Nine hours.
00:35:54Give or take.
00:36:00I think this is a good idea.
00:36:02Wouldn't you think it was weird if your ex showed up at your house with a stranger and a cross?
00:36:08Another lurk or another lady.
00:36:12I'd probably find that weird.
00:36:14But that's also why I'd like it.
00:36:17If you'd like it.
00:36:18Why not?
00:36:19Show the imagination.
00:36:20Maybe, but Angie's not like you.
00:36:22How is she different?
00:36:24I don't know.
00:36:25She just doesn't talk about sex all the time.
00:36:30I get it.
00:36:31Holy shit.
00:36:32You're a f***ing prude.
00:36:35I'm not a prude.
00:36:36Then why do you scram at any mention of anything sexual?
00:36:40Prudish.
00:36:41I'm not prudish.
00:36:42I'm not prudish.
00:36:43Not at all.
00:36:44Then prove it.
00:36:45What are three words that, when put together, it get nasty?
00:36:49I'm not doing this.
00:36:51Three words.
00:36:52Three words.
00:36:53I'm not playing, Zade.
00:36:55You are not very madly, are you, Kev?
00:37:00Smelly poop truck.
00:37:02That's it.
00:37:03Three more.
00:37:04Disgust me.
00:37:07You know, you're really smart.
00:37:09I'm really pretty.
00:37:11You don't have to be so aggressive.
00:37:14Baggy, vag, mouth!
00:37:17I'm really sorry.
00:37:18I was just making a joke.
00:37:20What was the joke?
00:37:23Excuse me?
00:37:25I didn't hear it.
00:37:26What was the joke?
00:37:29Knock, knock.
00:37:30Who's there?
00:37:31Isabel.
00:37:33Isabel who?
00:37:34Isabel necessary on a bicycle?
00:37:38Shit, I'm sorry I even asked.
00:37:44I thought it was funny.
00:37:46You totally fell apart back there.
00:38:00I did not.
00:38:02Man, you did.
00:38:04Like a little girl.
00:38:06And that isn't technically a word, by the way.
00:38:09Well, you're not technically a businessman.
00:38:11Yes, I am.
00:38:12No, you're not.
00:38:13Look at you.
00:38:14You look like a guy who cleans a pool.
00:38:17You?
00:38:18She's right.
00:38:19We gotta get you looking sharp.
00:38:20Like Angie's idea of an entrepreneur.
00:38:23Let's go shopping.
00:38:25Come on.
00:38:29Doing this for you, Kev.
00:38:30Come on.
00:38:31Is it true what they say about guys with medium-sized feet?
00:38:40Zade, pick out a pair if you want.
00:38:43No, thanks.
00:38:44Not really my style.
00:38:46Should I have done Carl a suit?
00:38:48You know what?
00:38:49I haven't heard from Sandy.
00:38:52All right, so when she opens the door, what should I say again?
00:38:56You're telling her that you've succeeded.
00:38:58Okay?
00:38:59You're gonna show her the check and that you're sorry.
00:39:03That's...
00:39:04That's too strange.
00:39:07All right.
00:39:09Tell her that without her, you're nothing but a shadow.
00:39:13Tell her that your heart is like a mauled hedgehog,
00:39:19smashed up against the blades of a lawnmower.
00:39:23Here, Zade.
00:39:24Keep trying, Sandy, will you?
00:39:25Here, let me check this out.
00:39:28Hank, you need a new phone.
00:39:29Yeah, I'd go down half a size, Kev.
00:39:31I mean, it all depends on your choice of sock.
00:39:34Yeah, we'll go down half a size.
00:39:36I agree.
00:39:38Here.
00:39:39What would you say?
00:39:40Seriously, Zade.
00:39:42Maybe don't talk about yourself so much.
00:39:44Tell her that she's your miracle.
00:39:47That without her, your life means nothing.
00:39:49Tell her that she's more beautiful than the full moon in Montana,
00:39:54or the poetry of Rumi, or any other beautiful thing man or nature has yet made.
00:40:01Tell her that she's a genius of Einsteinian proportions,
00:40:07and that she's sexy, and does sexy well.
00:40:12And that you really, really, really love her.
00:40:16Wow.
00:40:17Say, that was really, really good.
00:40:18That's an handsome fit, sir.
00:40:19Great.
00:40:20We'll take them.
00:40:21Let's run for it!
00:40:22Stop!
00:40:23Quick!
00:40:24Come on, people!
00:40:25Come on!
00:40:26Hey!
00:40:27Hey!
00:40:28Hey!
00:40:29Hey!
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:31Hey!
00:40:32Hey!
00:40:33Hey!
00:40:34Hey!
00:40:35Hey!
00:40:36Hey!
00:40:37Hey!
00:40:38Hey!
00:40:39Hey!
00:40:40Hey!
00:40:41Hey!
00:40:42Hey!
00:40:43Hey!
00:40:44Hey!
00:40:45Hey!
00:40:46Hey!
00:40:47Hey!
00:40:48Hey!
00:40:49Hey!
00:40:50Hey!
00:40:51Hey!
00:40:52Hey!
00:40:53Hey!
00:40:54Hey!
00:40:55Hey!
00:40:56Hey!
00:40:57Hey!
00:40:58Hey!
00:40:59Hey!
00:41:00Hey!
00:41:01Hey!
00:41:02Hey!
00:41:03Hey!
00:41:04Hey!
00:41:05Hey!
00:41:06Hey!
00:41:07Hey!
00:41:08Hey!
00:41:09Hey!
00:41:10Hey!
00:41:11Hey!
00:41:12Hey!
00:41:13It wasn't the clerk's fault.
00:41:27Those plastic tags are a nuisance.
00:41:32What a straight razor gives us a concealed weapon.
00:41:35I have a collection.
00:41:37That's an antique.
00:41:38That doesn't mean that you can carry.
00:41:40I sincerely apologize, officers.
00:41:42Look, you have to understand where we're coming from.
00:41:45You were running through a place of business with a weapon.
00:41:48It was all part of a romantic gesture.
00:41:50My friend here lost his true love.
00:41:53We're giving him a makeover.
00:41:55He's going to win her back.
00:41:56Come on, guys.
00:42:00I'm not against romantic gestures, per se.
00:42:03It's true.
00:42:05He's not.
00:42:06Officer, it was a misunderstanding.
00:42:07Come on.
00:42:08I'm moved by your argument.
00:42:13So I'm going to let you go with a warning.
00:42:16But we're going to keep the razor.
00:42:18Thank you, officers.
00:42:20Give love, get love, sir.
00:42:22Can I give you a hug?
00:42:23Now that's unfortunate.
00:42:33I can't believe they couldn't look the other way.
00:42:49Drugs are drugs.
00:42:50They couldn't have looked the other way.
00:42:51You're such a f***ing prude.
00:42:54Where are we going?
00:42:55I need shoes.
00:42:57Hang out in the car.
00:42:58Where are we?
00:42:59Just wait in the car.
00:43:00I'll be back in a minute.
00:43:03Zade.
00:43:04Is this your brothel?
00:43:06No one says brothel.
00:43:16Jesus, Zade, what the hell are you doing?
00:43:18Come on, Zade.
00:43:40Jesus, throw it at you.
00:43:40I'll be back in the car.
00:43:53Jesus, let's go.
00:43:57Come on.
00:43:59I'll be back in the car.
00:44:01It'll be back in the car.
00:44:03Okay, listen.
00:44:03Let's go.
00:44:04All right, let's go.
00:44:04Go on, Zade.
00:44:04Go on, Zade.
00:44:05Go on.
00:44:05Go on, Zade.
00:44:06Go on.
00:44:07Go on, Zade.
00:44:07Go on.
00:44:08Go on.
00:44:08Go on.
00:44:09Where are you, Zade?
00:44:13May I help you?
00:44:15Oh, well...
00:44:19I'm here to see Zade.
00:44:21Zade?
00:44:23Yeah, Zade.
00:44:25I think she works.
00:44:27Yeah, Zade.
00:44:29I think she works.
00:44:31Yeah.
00:44:33I'm here to see Zade.
00:44:35Zade?
00:44:37I think she works here.
00:44:39Well, that's funny.
00:44:41Because it's just my family as far as I know.
00:44:45And while some might call that work, I...
00:44:47Sorry.
00:44:49Must be the wrong address.
00:44:51Kev?
00:44:53I told you to wait in the car.
00:44:55I'll be down in a minute.
00:44:59I think you should come in.
00:45:07Okay.
00:45:11Lemon juice, sugar, and water.
00:45:15Tell me if it needs anything else.
00:45:19And how exactly do you know Millie?
00:45:23Millie.
00:45:25Millicent, my daughter.
00:45:29Oh, um...
00:45:31We met through a mutual friend.
00:45:33Mutual friend?
00:45:35Really?
00:45:37Kevin.
00:45:39Are you a rioter, too?
00:45:41No.
00:45:43Well, what is it exactly that you do?
00:45:45Um, in construction?
00:45:47Hmm.
00:45:49My daughter knows people in construction.
00:45:51Well...
00:45:53Our mutual friend threw party and then...
00:45:55And Millie was there.
00:45:57Was Monique there?
00:45:59No.
00:46:01Monique is a friend of Millie's.
00:46:03Great tits.
00:46:05I'm actually getting out of construction.
00:46:07I'm gonna start my own business.
00:46:09I'm gonna call it Trampoline World.
00:46:11It's gonna be this amusement park in the warehouse district.
00:46:15We're gonna have Sky Slam basketball.
00:46:17Um, foam pits.
00:46:19We actually have a lot of...
00:46:20Kevin.
00:46:21There's nothing wrong with construction.
00:46:23We should split.
00:46:24If you like, I'll continue some literature.
00:46:26Trampolining is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:46:29It actually just got featured in Delta's Sky Magazine.
00:46:32Our friend's been arrested.
00:46:34We should go.
00:46:35Arrested?
00:46:36For what?
00:46:37Drugs.
00:46:38Millie has such colorful friends.
00:46:40What's Monique doing these days?
00:46:42Okay.
00:46:43Let's go.
00:46:44Thank you for the...
00:46:46Lemon.
00:46:47Stop.
00:46:50Shut up.
00:46:51I didn't say anything.
00:46:52You were thinking it.
00:46:53Nope.
00:46:54I'm not a liar.
00:46:55I just don't feel the need to tell everyone everything.
00:46:59Okay.
00:47:00Don't try to say anything.
00:47:02I'm not.
00:47:04You have a beautiful home.
00:47:09It's really nice.
00:47:15You really shouldn't be doing this, you know?
00:47:17I mean, any guy with half a brain would call you back.
00:47:22You could have like a really great job.
00:47:25I have a job.
00:47:27Yeah, but it's...
00:47:28It's dirty.
00:47:31It's not like you need the money.
00:47:33You are judging me, asshole.
00:47:35The only reason you're going through with any of this is because of that check.
00:47:38Oh, and who is it that charges a thousand dollars an hour for their company?
00:47:42Parasite.
00:47:43Yeah, well, at least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not.
00:47:46Pretending to be some kind of hooker or something?
00:47:48It's rude to hookers.
00:47:49People don't work at McDonald's because they like it.
00:47:51It's a job.
00:47:52You're slumming it and it's bullshit.
00:47:54I'm going to get Hank, driving him home, and then this whole is over.
00:48:03Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:08Let's try that one more time.
00:48:09Okay.
00:48:10Okay, one, two, three, four.
00:48:12Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:17We're good at this, man.
00:48:18We should take this on the road.
00:48:19Yeah.
00:48:20You and me.
00:48:24Hey, isn't there something we could do to expedite this?
00:48:29And who might you be?
00:48:32Um, I was hired by Hank.
00:48:35Lawyer?
00:48:36No.
00:48:37Personal advisor?
00:48:38Well, you need a law degree to be a personal advisor in here.
00:48:42Why don't you take a seat and the judge will see him in an hour or so.
00:48:48Keep smiling.
00:48:50No physical body contact beyond initial and departing embrace will be tolerated and will result in termination of the visit.
00:49:03You like barbecue?
00:49:04Might as well talk since we're stuck here.
00:49:05Her name's Sunny.
00:49:06I'm Zade.
00:49:07Hey, man.
00:49:08Why don't you just give her a break, okay?
00:49:09She's had a tough day.
00:49:10Zade, why not come sit here?
00:49:12I'm fine.
00:49:14She's fine.
00:49:16So I got this sauce called Smokin' Not Broken.
00:49:19Hey, don't don't do that.
00:49:20Don't touch your leg.
00:49:21It's not okay to touch your leg.
00:49:22It's not okay to touch your leg.
00:49:23You know, you know, you're gonna have a barbecue.
00:49:24You're gonna have a barbecue.
00:49:25You're gonna have a barbecue.
00:49:26You're gonna have a barbecue.
00:49:27You might as well talk since we're stuck here.
00:49:28My name's Sunny.
00:49:29I'm Zade.
00:49:30Hey, man.
00:49:31Why don't you just give her a break, okay?
00:49:32She's had a tough day.
00:49:33Zade, why not come sit here?
00:49:34I'm fine.
00:49:36She's fine.
00:49:38Hey, don't don't do that.
00:49:40Don't touch your leg.
00:49:41It's not okay to touch people you don't know.
00:49:43Occasional hand holding is acceptable.
00:49:46Hold it up.
00:49:47I didn't even know y'all was together.
00:49:51You don't have to be together to care about each other.
00:49:56I'm waiting in the car.
00:50:02It's not okay to touch people you don't know?
00:50:08So what kind of stuff do you write?
00:50:11Stories.
00:50:13Short ones, mostly.
00:50:16I'm writing one now about this woman who's having an affair with this guy.
00:50:21And then finds out that she's only one of many.
00:50:24It's called The Other Other Woman.
00:50:29I think you'd be a good writer.
00:50:33You do?
00:50:34Sure.
00:50:35Why?
00:50:36Because you take chances.
00:50:37You say things other people won't.
00:50:39You're different.
00:50:41You should feel good about who you are.
00:50:46It's the death of romance.
00:50:50We're living through the murder of romance.
00:50:53Get me?
00:50:54I get you.
00:50:55Yeah.
00:50:56When you're in love, people do things they normally wouldn't.
00:50:59I was sitting there imagining the rest of our lives together.
00:51:02We get a villa in Italy.
00:51:04She makes the lunch.
00:51:06I till the land.
00:51:08Our kids are running through the sunflower field.
00:51:11Beautiful.
00:51:12Yeah.
00:51:13There'll be trampolines everywhere.
00:51:14People bouncing around.
00:51:15Just good, clean American fun.
00:51:16You know?
00:51:17You're a very strange person, Kevin McDonald.
00:51:20There's gonna be a juice bar over there.
00:51:21A juice bar is not sexy.
00:51:22It's not meant to be sexy.
00:51:23Well then people aren't gonna come.
00:51:24What are you calling it?
00:51:25Trampoline World.
00:51:26No, you're not calling it that.
00:51:28All right, what would you call it?
00:51:30Call it tramps.
00:51:31I like.
00:51:32Get one of those fake f rented companies.
00:51:33The crazy ones are in the kitchen.
00:51:34Pharmac
00:51:45No, you're not calling it that.
00:51:48All right, what would you call it?
00:51:50Call it trams.
00:51:52I like it.
00:51:53Get one of those fake fluorescent signs,
00:51:56maybe a bouncing stiletto,
00:51:58slowly filling up with champagne.
00:52:00Nice.
00:52:01You know, and light bulbs for bubbles.
00:52:03You see, you are a good writer.
00:52:05No, I'm not.
00:52:07I just write stuff that happens to me.
00:52:10So you're the other, other woman?
00:52:16Don't look at me with sad dog eyes.
00:52:19I knew what I was doing.
00:52:23I bet it's real interesting.
00:52:25How would you know?
00:52:27Oh, right, because roofers don't read.
00:52:30You're rude and angry
00:52:34and really, really spoiled.
00:52:38But you're not sad.
00:52:43And you're narcissistic and indulgent.
00:52:50But you're not stupid.
00:52:58What is that?
00:53:00Harmonica.
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03Mm-hmm.
00:53:04But it's so small.
00:53:06Does it play?
00:53:07Yeah, it does.
00:53:11Oh, wow.
00:53:15We should probably go get Hank.
00:53:18Okay.
00:53:24Anybody got the time over there?
00:53:27Working out there?
00:53:28Haha.
00:53:29So, what's a prolapse?
00:53:45What's a prolapse?
00:53:50It's when either your anus or your vagina are pushed inside out of your body.
00:54:02That's a good word.
00:54:04Sorry.
00:54:08I never had any kids.
00:54:12I always wanted them though.
00:54:13How come?
00:54:16I never had any kids.
00:54:21I always wanted them, though.
00:54:23How come?
00:54:24She wanted to wait.
00:54:26How dumb am I, huh?
00:54:28You know, I was never once unfaithful to her.
00:54:30Not once.
00:54:32I loved her wholly, unabashedly from the first day I met her.
00:54:40She was my everything.
00:54:43Did she find someone else?
00:54:45Yeah.
00:54:46Oh, yeah?
00:54:47She said I was an emotional cripple.
00:54:50That she couldn't remember what she loved about me in the first place.
00:54:53People make out like women are the romantics, but it's not true.
00:54:57We're the knights, the last of the noble breed.
00:55:01I'm gonna die today.
00:55:06Who's after you?
00:55:09No one.
00:55:13Well, you let me know if somebody's after you,
00:55:16because I got a guy for that.
00:55:19Landry!
00:55:19Well, looks like I'm sprung, kid.
00:55:25Good luck to you.
00:55:27Keep it in your pants.
00:55:31Thank you, sir.
00:55:33Mes amis.
00:55:34Superb!
00:55:34The happy band are back together.
00:55:37Was it terrible in jail?
00:55:39Was it terrible in jail?
00:55:40Oh, it was okay.
00:55:41I met a nice kid.
00:55:42Oh, yeah?
00:55:43What was he in for?
00:55:44He masturbated on some girl on a bus.
00:55:47Jesus.
00:55:48Hank, I got carried away.
00:55:51I'd rather someone put cum on me than a booger.
00:55:54What?
00:55:55It's sterile.
00:55:56It's straight from the testes.
00:55:57Booger's a waste.
00:55:59I bet you think a blowjob is fine,
00:56:01but you wouldn't blow your nose in a girl's mouth.
00:56:03Enough.
00:56:04Let's go find this Annie.
00:56:06Let's just go home, Hank.
00:56:08I think we're done for today.
00:56:09No, no way.
00:56:09I'm not giving up now.
00:56:10Hank, I really don't mind.
00:56:12Well, I do mind.
00:56:13I just wasted half my day in jail.
00:56:15I'm finding Annie.
00:56:17Angie.
00:56:17It doesn't matter what her name is.
00:56:19I'm finding her.
00:56:20We could just take, like, a small break.
00:56:22No.
00:56:23Look, something's got to work here, okay?
00:56:26I mean, love, it has to mean something.
00:56:29I need to know that in this world,
00:56:31it's not just pure, disappointing shit.
00:56:34And I don't care what you two do,
00:56:35but I'm going to Annie's.
00:56:37I got a plan.
00:56:42On delay.
00:56:52Just up here on the left.
00:56:55Maybe we should just ring the doorbell.
00:56:56He said she won't talk to you.
00:56:59What are we doing here?
00:57:00Waiting.
00:57:01For what?
00:57:03For someone to let us in.
00:57:05Burglars don't have balloons.
00:57:09I got to piss.
00:57:10Hold on to these, will you?
00:57:12What?
00:57:15This is a bad idea.
00:57:17Why?
00:57:18You don't even like her.
00:57:19You're just caught up in the obsession.
00:57:23You think you're in love,
00:57:25but it's just the stab of rejection.
00:57:29Do you want to be with her?
00:57:31Really, with her?
00:57:41I'm going in.
00:57:44Why?
00:57:45What's so great about her?
00:57:46You don't have anything to say?
00:57:52Okay.
00:57:54Well, good luck with that.
00:58:01See?
00:58:02Magic.
00:58:03Well, hello there.
00:58:04How are you?
00:58:05Oh, is it my birthday?
00:58:06It is.
00:58:06Happy birthday, darling.
00:58:08Hey, I don't think I want the balloons.
00:58:10I'm losing it.
00:58:12Come on.
00:58:15Is that it?
00:58:18I'm going knockdown.
00:58:20You got this?
00:58:23Be firm.
00:58:25Be aggressive, Kev.
00:58:32Angie.
00:58:33Oh.
00:58:35What are you doing here?
00:58:36Okay, listen.
00:58:38I've come to tell you that I think that you're like sunsets in Montana.
00:58:43Oh, God.
00:58:43Kevin.
00:58:45No, just hear me out, okay?
00:58:46Who is that?
00:58:48I'm no one.
00:58:51I'm proud of you.
00:58:53You're like the poetry of Rummy,
00:58:56and you have Einsteinian proportions,
00:58:58and I like spending time with you,
00:59:01and I treasure you.
00:59:03Hey, Angie,
00:59:04five-letter word starts with an L.
00:59:07Insect Steve.
00:59:08Sounds like Steve.
00:59:13That's it.
00:59:19Steve.
00:59:21What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:25Crossword?
00:59:26What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:27What are you doing here?
00:59:29What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:30She called me,
00:59:31and she needs some help with her track lighting.
00:59:32Just tell him.
00:59:34Listen.
00:59:35It just happened, Kev.
00:59:37You're sleeping with her?
00:59:38Listen, just a misunderstanding.
00:59:40Yeah, he is.
00:59:42We're in love.
00:59:44Oh, you're in love with her?
00:59:45No.
00:59:47We made some bad decisions, and...
00:59:49Why didn't you tell me?
00:59:50Listen, we didn't want to hurt you.
00:59:53You said she wasn't good enough for me.
00:59:55And you're right.
01:00:01You're right.
01:00:02And you.
01:00:04I didn't mean all that shit about Montana, okay?
01:00:06Someone told me to say that.
01:00:08And, uh,
01:00:09I got a blowjob from that stripper
01:00:11because I didn't love you enough.
01:00:12And...
01:00:12Stupid.
01:00:29Give me the keys.
01:00:32Bro, I'm so sorry.
01:00:34Listen, I'm going to find you the money for a trampoline road,
01:00:36right i think it's a you know just give me the jeez here you can never be a part of trampoline
01:00:46hello that you didn't think you'd hear from me today i'm sorry i don't know what to say i just
01:01:09i miss you and i want you to know that you were right about me being in a wheelchair emotionally
01:01:16i've learned now that i wasn't good enough for you karen and uh i'm not even good enough for this
01:01:30world anymore don't go into the red room okay i keep all my records in the bureau so you can have
01:01:38everything that you want uh take anything leave what you don't want uh hank's phone hi it's me i am a
01:01:52giant i made a huge mistake and i'd like to take it all back is hank with you i realize now that you
01:02:00are more interesting than anything in montana and then any movie or any poetry written at just shut
01:02:06up where's hank what something's wrong with hank what's wrong with hank you have to find him kevin
01:02:13he's gonna kill himself what i found a video on his phone he's gonna do it now today that doesn't make
01:02:20any sense he was happy when we left he thinks angie and i got back together that's worse that's what he
01:02:25wanted go to the red room he said not to go into the red room
01:02:45hank oh my god hank
01:02:49where is hank carl he might hurt himself okay i need to know where hank is he's taking a nap
01:02:59just like everybody else just tell me where he is wait a minute wait a minute shut up
01:03:06what day is it friday oh no no no oh no god oh god that can't be good
01:03:14where are you
01:03:28Hank! Hank!
01:03:31Hank!
01:03:42Hank!
01:03:43Are you out there?
01:03:48I'm fine.
01:03:50Wanted to get a little air is all.
01:03:53I'm coming out!
01:03:55It's a long way down, buddy.
01:04:00Hank, I'm a f***ing roofer.
01:04:03Good point.
01:04:06I just want to talk.
01:04:15It's been a frantic last few days, Kevin.
01:04:21I'm not gonna kill myself, if that's what you're thinking.
01:04:25That's good.
01:04:27I just, uh...
01:04:29I wanted to hang out for a while.
01:04:31You did invite me to this party, remember?
01:04:37How'd it go with Angie?
01:04:41She was having sex with my brother.
01:04:43What?
01:04:46That's basically it.
01:04:48Jesus.
01:04:50God, I am a waste of space, huh?
01:04:55And this.
01:04:56This pen.
01:04:57Remember that?
01:04:58I stole it from that nice nurse.
01:05:00I mean, I am a f***ing asshole.
01:05:02That's not true.
01:05:04It is true.
01:05:05I'm a dark hole.
01:05:06I don't make anyone feel good.
01:05:08Hank, you probably just need some sleep.
01:05:10Why don't you just come back inside?
01:05:16Kevin.
01:05:19You're a good guy.
01:05:22You are.
01:05:23But we're not even really friends.
01:05:26And how sad is that?
01:05:28Look who's at my party, for example.
01:05:31Got a bunch of guys I've barely met,
01:05:33girls that I've paid for, and Carl.
01:05:36Carl, for Christ's sakes.
01:05:40I didn't want this.
01:05:46Just wanted to go out quietly.
01:05:48Have something good happen.
01:05:50Before I left.
01:05:54Something... something good is happening.
01:05:56What the f*** are you doing up there?
01:05:58Z!
01:06:00You wanna have sex with me?
01:06:03Get the f*** out from there!
01:06:06I should let you know that I'm not hung up on Angie anymore.
01:06:12Think I might love... Millicent.
01:06:17Why?
01:06:19She's funny.
01:06:21Smart.
01:06:24Brave.
01:06:26And?
01:06:27And beautiful.
01:06:29You're really beautiful.
01:06:30Even...
01:06:31when you're being disgusting.
01:06:35You're an idiot.
01:06:36I know.
01:06:38I'd still really like to have sex with you though.
01:06:41Not gonna happen.
01:06:44Dammit, Zane.
01:06:48Stop being such a f***ing prude.
01:06:54Okay.
01:06:56See?
01:06:58Just come back inside so Zane and I can have sexual intercourse.
01:07:03You just say that to make me feel better.
01:07:06Well...
01:07:09If you don't come back inside and you jump, Zane and I definitely won't have sex.
01:07:17How about it?
01:07:19He jumps?
01:07:21You still gonna do me?
01:07:23Definitely not.
01:07:28Alright.
01:07:30Enough of this shit, huh?
01:07:32I don't wanna drink anyway.
01:07:33This beer is flattened.
01:07:36Wait, hold on!
01:07:37Hey!
01:07:39Hey!
01:07:41Ah!
01:07:59Hold me up!
01:08:00You son of a b**!
01:08:02Is he asleep?
01:08:16I think so.
01:08:17There's clean sheets in the walk-in closet.
01:08:33Swiss cotton.
01:08:47Are you sure you want to do this?
01:08:57Oh, okay.
01:09:02We broke the curse.
01:09:05So can I call you?
01:09:09Why do you need to call me?
01:09:12So we can see each other again.
01:09:16It'll cost you.
01:09:20How much does the day pass at Tramp's again?
01:09:27Nothing bad happened.
01:09:29No.
01:09:34I think you should get there.
01:09:37Okay.
01:09:39If it's a stripper, don't let her in.
01:09:41Okay.
01:09:46Holy shit.
01:09:49Are you okay?
01:09:50I'm okay.
01:09:51I'm okay.
01:09:52I'm okay.
01:09:53I'm okay.
01:09:54Okay.
01:09:55Okay.
01:09:56I'm okay.
01:09:57I'm not cursed.
01:09:58I'm not cursed.
01:09:59I'm not cursed.
01:10:00I'm not cursed.
01:10:01Hello.
01:10:02I pressed the bell.
01:10:07This right.
01:10:08I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm sorry.
01:10:12I'm wounded.
01:10:13I'm crushed.
01:10:14Good.
01:10:16That's right, you did press the bell.
01:10:23How you doing, buddy?
01:10:25Good.
01:10:26Good.
01:10:27Kev?
01:10:28Always a pleasure.
01:10:29God bless.
01:10:30Ready to go to aquarium?
01:10:31Yes, Dad.
01:10:32Okay, let's do it.
01:10:33Hi, honey.
01:10:34Hi.
01:10:35How are you?
01:10:36Good.
01:10:37Oh, that was a good party.
01:10:40Are you guys married?
01:10:42Happily.
01:10:43It's classic romance.
01:10:46You look like the guy who cleansed the pool.
01:10:56Are you okay up on those heels?
01:10:59I don't know.
01:11:00I swear.
01:11:01Yo.
01:11:02I hate lines.
01:11:03Girls never have trouble at the door.
01:11:05Maybe you can help me get in.
01:11:07Parasite.
01:11:08Tourist.
01:11:09Tourist.
01:11:10Yeah.
01:11:11Yeah.
01:11:12Yeah.
01:11:13Maybe you can help me get in.
01:11:14Parasite.
01:11:15Tourist.
01:11:16Yeah.
01:11:17Where is that?
01:11:18There you go.
01:11:19Yeah.
01:11:20A tourist.
01:11:21Yeah.
01:11:22Could you possibly be the issue with the park?
01:11:23etzung hall公 vert.
01:11:25Palisraz 45 9.
01:11:26guitar solo
01:11:56I'm having sex
01:12:14Guaranteed
01:12:16My better self
01:12:21I just won't need
01:12:23I'll pack my bags
01:12:28With jumbo rubbers
01:12:30I'll meet the boys
01:12:35I'll drink the boys
01:12:37I'll drink the boys
01:12:38I'll drink the boys
01:12:40I'll drink the boys
01:12:42I'll drink the boys
01:12:43I'll drink the boys
01:12:44I'll drink the boys
01:12:45I'll drink the boys
01:12:46I'll drink the boys
01:12:47I'll drink the boys
01:12:48I'll drink the boys
01:12:49I'll drink the boys
01:12:50I'll drink the boys
01:12:51I'll drink the boys
01:12:52I'll drink the boys
01:12:53I'll drink the boys
01:12:54I'll drink the boys
01:12:55I'll drink the boys
01:12:56I'll drink the boys
01:12:57I'll drink the boys
01:12:58I'll drink the boys
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