- 2 days ago
Presenting Superhit Hollywood Horror Action Movie (English Movies, Action Movies, Horror Movies, Thriller Movies, Sci-Fi Movies, Free Movies) "ZOMBIE WEREWOLF"
Synopsis:
A sleepy English village is invaded by the cast and crew of a new zombie horror film, but the horror turns real when someone or something starts tearing villagers, cast and crew to shreds.
Synopsis:
A sleepy English village is invaded by the cast and crew of a new zombie horror film, but the horror turns real when someone or something starts tearing villagers, cast and crew to shreds.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:20Clear the set!
00:00:21Bruce, I thought we were going to shoot to the second...
00:00:23Clear the set now!
00:00:25Okay, you're here, Bruce!
00:00:27Clear the set, we're going for a take!
00:00:29No!
00:00:59No!
00:01:01No!
00:01:03No!
00:01:05No!
00:01:07No!
00:01:09No!
00:01:11No!
00:01:12No!
00:01:13No!
00:01:14No!
00:01:15No!
00:01:16No!
00:01:17No!
00:01:18No!
00:01:19No!
00:01:20No!
00:01:21No!
00:01:22No!
00:01:23No!
00:01:24No!
00:01:25No!
00:01:26No!
00:01:27No!
00:01:28No!
00:01:29No!
00:01:30What do we do?
00:01:31Show him your cross!
00:01:33I am!
00:01:34Cross!
00:01:35No!
00:01:36No!
00:01:37No!
00:01:38No!
00:01:39No!
00:01:40No!
00:01:41No!
00:01:42No!
00:01:43No!
00:01:44No!
00:01:45No!
00:01:46No!
00:01:47No!
00:01:48No!
00:01:49No!
00:01:50No!
00:01:51No!
00:01:52No!
00:01:53Er, lads, you can't be...
00:01:55This little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none.
00:01:58Could you switch that off a minute, please?
00:02:00This little piggy went...
00:02:02You can't stop along here with two bikes.
00:02:04I've got a puncture.
00:02:05Even so, er, you can't stop along here.
00:02:08You're likely to cause an obstruction.
00:02:23Look, it's for your own safety.
00:02:26So, if you've got to do that, then take it up there.
00:02:31Right off the road.
00:02:40That's it.
00:02:53Oh, great.
00:02:57The only light for miles around, and the power goes off.
00:03:00Well, at least it's a full moon.
00:03:02Here.
00:03:11Ah, thanks.
00:03:12That's a bit better.
00:03:13Not much, but at least...
00:03:17What the f*** was that?
00:03:18Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
00:03:22Switch it off!
00:03:23Bad wolf, the big bad wolf.
00:03:25Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
00:03:27Tra la la la...
00:03:39I think you'd better hurry up.
00:03:44You're the thunky.
00:03:46A big star like Greg Lapine.
00:03:48A bloody werewolf.
00:03:49Well, we don't really know that for sure.
00:03:52But one thing we do know for sure,
00:03:54is that we can place him at the scene of these horrendous murders.
00:03:58And, as well as the DNA in his hat,
00:04:01it also had his bloody name in it.
00:04:04Gotcha!
00:04:06I never knew werewolves were actually real.
00:04:09I mean, I know Frankensteins are.
00:04:11So, are we going to arrest a bastard?
00:04:17Haskins?
00:04:18He might not be a bastard yet.
00:04:20He has to be found guilty first.
00:04:22Anyway, we may have to wait a little while for that now.
00:04:30Come on, how much long is it going to take?
00:04:33The f*** is!
00:04:34Just leave it.
00:04:36Ride it as it is.
00:04:37Let's get out of here.
00:04:38I'm going as fast as I can.
00:04:39I can't get the valve lined up.
00:04:42It's in the trees.
00:04:43It's coming.
00:04:47F*** this.
00:04:48Come on, let's get out of here.
00:04:49No way!
00:04:50These are 26-inch Shimano Duratex.
00:04:52Do you know how much these bad boys go for?
00:04:54Always go for it!
00:05:07What the f*** was that?
00:05:24Stop!
00:05:26Stop!
00:05:27Stop!
00:05:28Stop!
00:05:30Jesus, cut!
00:05:31What the hell is going on?
00:05:32I say when we cut.
00:05:34Well, if she's going to attack me like that,
00:05:36and you don't see the problems, Bruce,
00:05:38then someone has to take charge.
00:05:41Alright, alright, calm down.
00:05:42Look.
00:05:43I've been up all night,
00:05:44and I'm seriously going to get one of my heads in a minute.
00:05:46But what exactly is the problem, Greg?
00:05:48Why is that extra?
00:05:50Whatever the f*** she is.
00:05:52If the undead are supposed to be attacking me,
00:05:54then I'm going to need them to be a little bit more vocal about it.
00:05:57What, vocal?
00:05:58Well, you know, raw.
00:06:01She's a zombie.
00:06:02You're telling me?
00:06:03Where the f*** do they get these people?
00:06:07If she is just going to go about whining,
00:06:09and not take it seriously,
00:06:10then it's not going to make me look venicing, is it?
00:06:13A real zombie wouldn't just moan.
00:06:16Right, well, we'll deal with it.
00:06:18Rachel!
00:06:19Can we get the zombie to raw when she attacks Greg, please?
00:06:24Raw?
00:06:25Just do it, sweetheart, okay?
00:06:26Thanks, love.
00:06:28Look, I'm sorry.
00:06:30I don't want to seem difficult or anything.
00:06:32You know that I just want this movie to be marvellous.
00:06:36But seriously, if she doesn't raw this time,
00:06:38can we think about replacing her?
00:06:40Maybe get a guy?
00:06:42Yeah.
00:06:45Of course, Greg.
00:06:46No problem.
00:06:47First positions?
00:06:48Thanks.
00:06:50Okay.
00:06:51First positions, then, please, everyone.
00:06:52Greg, hat.
00:06:54Sorry enough.
00:06:56Come on, people.
00:06:57Continuity.
00:06:58We should be picking up on this stuff.
00:06:59We'll take that wall right in the area, okay?
00:07:04Okay, we're going for a take on this one.
00:07:06And rolling.
00:07:09Speed.
00:07:11And...
00:07:12Action!
00:07:17Roll!
00:07:24That was better, Bruce.
00:07:26I hope you didn't mind, love.
00:07:29Wasn't being diva-ish, was I?
00:07:30I mean, I wouldn't want people on set to think that I'm some sort of...
00:07:35How did we get on this path?
00:07:38See, it must have been when we crossed this river.
00:07:40Yeah.
00:07:41See, we should have taken this route.
00:07:42We're way off.
00:07:44Can you get maps on that thing?
00:07:45No.
00:07:46Still no signal.
00:07:47Look.
00:07:48It's dark.
00:07:49I've had enough.
00:07:51Let's just put up the tent here
00:07:52and get a fresh start in the morning, alright?
00:07:55Fine.
00:08:02Well, he was supposed to be in a scene yesterday, only he never showed up.
00:08:07It's not like him.
00:08:08He still had his zombie eyes in and his makeup on and everything.
00:08:11And is it true that he is not the first person to disappear from this film set?
00:08:16Apparently they found a body last week.
00:08:20One of the camera crew, someone said.
00:08:22It was horrible by all accounts.
00:08:24Looked like something out of the film.
00:08:25I think some animals had got to him before the police did.
00:08:30Yes.
00:08:31Well, they're saying that this film is cursed.
00:08:34What do you think about that?
00:08:36They would say that, wouldn't they?
00:08:38Horror film, isn't it?
00:08:39It's good for publicity.
00:08:41And apart from the disappearances, didn't the film also suffer delays when a scene being shot in a zoo had to be abandoned because the star and members of the crew were attacked by wild dogs?
00:08:54That's right.
00:08:55Well done.
00:08:56I'm sure you'll be keeping an eye out for him.
00:08:57Ashley.
00:08:58Great.
00:08:59Good.
00:09:00In other news, the same film company will be filming a second film, which is...
00:09:17What was that?
00:09:24Probably just a deer or sheep or something.
00:09:29There's loads of animals out on the moors.
00:09:32Yeah, but we're not on the moors, are we?
00:09:35Because we strayed off the path exactly like we were told not to.
00:09:38There is again.
00:09:43I heard that.
00:09:53Hello?
00:09:55Anyone out there?
00:09:58Great.
00:10:00I've got a torch on my phone.
00:10:03With a camera.
00:10:06This would better not be one of those tricks or something to try and scare us.
00:10:13It's a bright night.
00:10:16And we'll find you.
00:10:19And when we do, we'll tear you in you.
00:10:22Arse.
00:10:32It's human.
00:10:33It was human.
00:10:34Who the f*** has done that?
00:10:38We've got to go right f*** out.
00:10:40Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:10:41Calm down.
00:10:42It's plastic.
00:10:43What?
00:10:44It's just latex and makeup.
00:10:45It's not real.
00:10:46Oh.
00:10:47This is.
00:10:48Oh.
00:10:49This is.
00:10:50Oh.
00:10:51That's better.
00:10:55Hey.
00:10:56Want to know some very secret and very interesting news?
00:11:03Not really.
00:11:04Probably shouldn't say anything because I was sworn to secrecy by Phil at the butchers.
00:11:09He says they're filming a new zombie film round here.
00:11:10He said they're using our town as lower vaults, a f***, made up village ravaged by the living dead.
00:11:16Like Milton Keynes.
00:11:17I'm serious.
00:11:18Yes, Les.
00:11:19I start shooting on Monday with scenes from the pub in lower vaults.
00:11:20Well, how do you know so much about it?
00:11:21Welcome to the severed arms.
00:11:22You are?
00:11:23They're using the pub as the severed arms.
00:11:24The local pub in the film.
00:11:25The local pub in the film.
00:11:26Oh, no.
00:11:27Oh.
00:11:28What's the name of the club in the man down here?
00:11:29He said they're using our town as lower vaults.
00:11:30A f***, f***, f***, made up village ravaged by the living dead.
00:11:32Like Milton Keynes.
00:11:33I'm serious.
00:11:34Yes, Les.
00:11:35I start shooting on Monday with scenes from the pub in lower vaults.
00:11:38Well, how do you know so much about it?
00:11:41Welcome to the severed arms.
00:11:45You are?
00:11:46They're using the pub as the severed arms.
00:11:50The local pub in the film.
00:11:52No way.
00:11:58Way? They were here a couple of weeks ago measuring up and everything.
00:12:01It's all supposed to be very hush-hush.
00:12:03Honest?
00:12:04Yep. Show me pictures of what it's going to look like and all the stars and everything.
00:12:08And the main bloke doesn't half look like you.
00:12:10Who's that?
00:12:11Greg Lupine. Couldn't believe it when I saw his picture. You must have a double.
00:12:16Alright, I'll have a JD. Cheers, Bob.
00:12:18Oh, I know Greg Lupine. He's a right swat he is.
00:12:23And you think he's like me?
00:12:25Yeah. Well, more so now.
00:12:32So this is going to be one of our locations.
00:12:34Of course, it's going to cause some disturbance.
00:12:36But they're going to reimburse me for lots of take-ins on top of the fee.
00:12:39What? Three pints and a pork pie?
00:12:41Shh. I told them he gets really busy.
00:12:48It's a bit of a secret, Les. Do you know what they're paying me?
00:13:05No.
00:13:06Good.
00:13:07Know what you're like with secrets.
00:13:09Here. Have a pork pie.
00:13:13On the house.
00:13:26Jesus.
00:13:29Is it raining?
00:13:31Pissing down.
00:13:33Hey, Mike.
00:13:40Do you know what?
00:13:41Yep.
00:13:42Oh, well, no you don't.
00:13:43You don't know what I was going to say.
00:13:45Pint please, Roberto.
00:13:46I'll tell you what, Leslie.
00:13:48If I can guess what you're about to say, you owe me a pint.
00:13:51If I get it wrong, I'll buy you one.
00:13:54Deal?
00:13:55No chance.
00:13:56You'll win.
00:13:57You'll always catch me out somehow.
00:14:05What was I going to say then?
00:14:06He was going to tell me about the new Pelican crossing outside the school.
00:14:10Wrong.
00:14:15You just lost yourself a pint then, didn't you?
00:14:17You want to try again?
00:14:19I don't know.
00:14:21No.
00:14:22What do you reckon, Bob?
00:14:24Well, you got it wrong first time, Les.
00:14:26I'll give it a go.
00:14:28Okay.
00:14:30You're on.
00:14:31What was I going to say then?
00:14:32You were going to tell me that they were making a new horror film around here,
00:14:35using the local town and various buildings for locations in the fictitious village of Lower Vaults,
00:14:41including using this place as their local boozer, The Severed Arms.
00:14:46Two pound thirty, please, Les.
00:14:49Cheers.
00:14:52How did you know all that?
00:14:54Bob told me last night.
00:15:16Where do you want the stretcher?
00:15:17You won't need a stretcher.
00:15:20You'd be better off with a shovel.
00:15:22Oh, Christ, is that-
00:15:23No, no, no.
00:15:24I've got a log burner.
00:15:27Right, take those and put them in the boot, Haskins.
00:15:30Off you go.
00:15:33Well, the main, uh, command body's over here.
00:15:39And now I'm getting one of my heads!
00:15:43I knew this would happen!
00:15:44We'll have a word with her, Greg.
00:15:45We'll have two.
00:15:46And make sure one of them is off.
00:15:48Well-
00:15:49Last night, that zombie extra was trying to steal my scene.
00:15:54My f*** scene!
00:15:56She was trying to do it quietly, Greg.
00:15:59All she had to do was get smashed in the face with the butt of her rifle.
00:16:02You did hit her rather hard.
00:16:04First, she doesn't roar when she attacks me.
00:16:06And then when she gets her head smashed in, she falls out of shot and only spits out two f*** teeth!
00:16:11They were her teeth, Greg.
00:16:13And now, as it's my scene, suddenly she can manage to scream for f***ing egg lunch!
00:16:22We'll have a word.
00:16:23Well, make sure you do!
00:16:28Now f*** off!
00:16:31Cog.
00:16:33Looks like something a pack of wild animals would have done.
00:16:36Well, I think we can rule out suicide.
00:16:39Okay!
00:16:40I want a full report on this as soon as you can.
00:16:44And team, keep looking for any other bits.
00:16:47Still a couple of limbs missing.
00:16:50Is this how the deceased were discovered?
00:16:52More or less.
00:16:54Haskins managed to slip in some.
00:17:03Over here, sir!
00:17:04Found a phone!
00:17:05Excellent!
00:17:06Bag it!
00:17:07Tag it!
00:17:08Get it to the lab!
00:17:10We've got a lab?
00:17:11Yeah!
00:17:14Get it checked out!
00:17:15I want to know if they made any phone calls before or after they died.
00:17:20Get that SIM card checked.
00:17:23Over here, sir!
00:17:24Found something!
00:17:25Excellent!
00:17:27What have we got, Haskins?
00:17:28Nice bit of spruce, I think, sir!
00:17:34Are you alright?
00:17:36I told you!
00:17:37I've got one of my heads coming on!
00:17:39Oh!
00:17:41Oh, God!
00:17:42It's gonna be f***ing murder tonight!
00:17:45Shall I go and get-
00:17:46I just need to be left alone for a while.
00:17:50I just want to lie down!
00:17:53I do not want to be disturbed!
00:17:56You're supposed to be a runner!
00:17:57You're supposed to be a runner!
00:18:00F***ing run!
00:18:01Run!
00:18:14Well, that's me done!
00:18:16See you tomorrow, Robin!
00:18:18Bye, Nobby! Don't forget your torch!
00:18:19You off, Nobby!
00:18:20Yeah!
00:18:21See you next Wednesday!
00:18:23Cheers!
00:18:25Stick it on the tab, Bob!
00:18:27You're still on me!
00:18:29What's that?
00:18:34A finger!
00:18:36Christ, that's horrible!
00:18:38It's not even been Southern Fried!
00:18:40It's just the box I put it in!
00:18:42I found it on the car park by the bins!
00:18:44At first I thought it might have been a fox!
00:18:46What, with human fingers?
00:18:48No, no, no! They put it there!
00:18:50In the box?
00:18:51By the bins!
00:18:53Jesus!
00:18:55It'd be a prop from that film, wouldn't it?
00:18:57Oh yeah, of course!
00:18:58Yeah!
00:19:00Looks good, though!
00:19:01Finger-licking good!
00:19:02The film crew would be looking for that, you know?
00:19:04He'll ask around!
00:19:07See those two over there?
00:19:10I reckon they're with that film, huh?
00:19:12Yeah, they stick out like a sore thumb!
00:19:14You got one of those in there as well?
00:19:18I don't suppose either of you are looking for a finger in the car park?
00:19:22Yeah!
00:19:30They've been here all afternoon!
00:19:32Drawing on their fancy iPads!
00:19:35Here you go, Dad!
00:19:37They made two glasses of white wine last all bleeding day!
00:19:41Well, they're probably from London, aren't they?
00:19:44Two glasses of wine cost 20 quid down there!
00:19:47That's why I moved up here!
00:19:48You reckon I could charge 20 quid?
00:19:53No, Bob!
00:19:55Well, you just said in London!
00:19:56But we're not in London!
00:19:58In London, you have London waiting!
00:20:00Proper decor!
00:20:01Proper music!
00:20:03Well, we've got proper...
00:20:07Actually, this isn't even proper blue none!
00:20:08Yeah!
00:20:09And the only waiting you have in here is...
00:20:12When...
00:20:14Oh, bollocks!
00:20:16That was a good joke, that was!
00:20:18I nearly had it then!
00:20:19Yeah, don't worry about it, Lesley!
00:20:21I don't make performing arts is for you!
00:20:23That's the way you might be wrong!
00:20:25Two more white wines, please!
00:20:2718?
00:20:28No, Bob!
00:20:32Are you guys local, yeah?
00:20:34Local?
00:20:35Us?
00:20:37We're as local as...
00:20:39As...
00:20:41As...
00:20:43Your local shop!
00:20:45Our local shop is in Hampstead!
00:20:47Yeah, well...
00:20:48Our local shop, then!
00:20:51Our local shop's Lidl, Les!
00:20:53Lidl's German!
00:20:55Alright!
00:20:56We're as local as...
00:20:58Got it!
00:20:59Waiting at the bar, London waiting!
00:21:00That's it!
00:21:02The only waiting you have in here is...
00:21:03Shut up, Les!
00:21:10Sorry, I'm Mike.
00:21:11The boys are local, they grew up round here.
00:21:13You were saying?
00:21:14That'll be 15 pounds, please.
00:21:15No, it won't, Bob.
00:21:16It's okay!
00:21:17I'll get them.
00:21:19Stick 550 on this slate.
00:21:22I'm Ryan, and this is Trace, assistant producer on the zombie film shoot.
00:21:28What I was saying is, we're looking for some extras.
00:21:31So if any of you guys fancy it, it's mainly background stuff, but maybe a walk-on.
00:21:35We've got Greg Lupine as the lead.
00:21:38There are a few graveyard scenes that we need people to be on night shoots as zombies.
00:21:42Should be very exciting.
00:21:43Lots of makeup, lots of blood, all that kind of stuff.
00:21:46We get paid for it.
00:21:48Yeah, of course!
00:21:49Well, I'm up for it.
00:21:51If it's flipping burgers.
00:21:53Or bleeding radiators.
00:21:54Or bastard factory work.
00:21:57I'm up for it too.
00:21:59Hey, can you imagine seeing this place?
00:22:01With brain-dead zombies shuffling round.
00:22:04Well, we start in the morning, so if you come to the truck with prod or production office,
00:22:10then someone should be able to sort you out.
00:22:13Do we have to wear our own clothes?
00:22:16Erm...
00:22:17Do we have to wear our own zombie clothes?
00:22:19Do you have your own zombie clothes?
00:22:23Nothing zombie, no.
00:22:26No, well, I'm sure Wardrobe will be able to sort you all out.
00:22:30You look strangely familiar.
00:22:32What's your name?
00:22:34Les.
00:22:35What?
00:22:36Les.
00:22:37What?
00:22:38Les!
00:22:40Yes, Les what?
00:22:42Oh!
00:22:43Jarvis.
00:22:45Have you made any films before?
00:22:47I made a few copies of Naughtiness once.
00:22:50Well, they all came out crap.
00:22:51Another drink?
00:23:03A little wine?
00:23:05Crumbs, I wouldn't say it was Little.
00:23:08No, Liddle.
00:23:10It's from Liddle.
00:23:12Would you like...
00:23:13No, no, no, no, we've got to be off.
00:23:15Yes, well, here's my card.
00:23:18And we'll see you in the morning.
00:23:19Bye.
00:23:22See ya.
00:23:23Bye.
00:23:37What the f*** was that?
00:23:38Hey, how about that?
00:23:39We're going to be in a film in the morning.
00:23:43I'd better pull me finger out.
00:23:44Get it.
00:23:46Stop pissing about, Les.
00:23:47Stick that behind a bar, Bob.
00:23:51Yeah.
00:23:52It's going to be in a proper film.
00:23:57That one called Trace.
00:23:59Was that a bloke or a woman?
00:24:01He had an Adam's apple in Airy Arms, Les.
00:24:04But because his name's Trace, suddenly you're not sure.
00:24:07Well, it's a woman's name.
00:24:09I went out with a Trace once.
00:24:10Ah, that's why you're confused.
00:24:12Because that one had an Adam's apple in Airy Arms as well.
00:24:15Do you hear what he said, though?
00:24:17He said I seemed familiar.
00:24:19Yeah.
00:24:20Well, I wouldn't get too familiar, Les.
00:24:22You know what this film lot I like?
00:24:24They're all trouser bandits, mate.
00:24:28I know.
00:24:30Look.
00:24:32He's even put it on his card.
00:24:34Ass prod.
00:24:36Oh, you donut.
00:24:38I think you'll find he's the assistant producer.
00:24:41I reckon Ryan and Trace will be grooming you in the morning, Les.
00:24:44Nah.
00:24:45They have hairdressers for that.
00:24:47I can't see those two wanting to put product in me hair somehow.
00:24:49I don't know.
00:24:50I reckon the one might.
00:25:18I don't know.
00:25:19I reckon they weren't doing this old fire.
00:25:23I think they can kill them first.
00:25:29Oh!
00:25:33That's okay!
00:25:35Oh!
00:25:37Oh!
00:25:39Ah!
00:25:42Oh!
00:25:44Oh!
00:25:45Oh!
00:25:46Oh!
00:25:47Oh! Oh!
00:25:48AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
00:26:00Ahhhh!
00:26:09Morning, lads.
00:26:11Alright Mike.
00:26:12You see how much stuff you can have for breakfast?
00:26:14There's bloody loads of it.
00:26:15You can have as much as you like.
00:26:17What time did you get here?
00:26:19About six.
00:26:20You're not called till seven.
00:26:21I know, but they said breakfast would be served from five
00:26:23because they were shooting some dark, scary scenes at the graveyard.
00:26:26So I thought best get here pronto
00:26:27before them bleeding actors get in and wolf it down.
00:26:29Just for the free breakfast?
00:26:31Well, two, right.
00:26:32Safe's getting your own, doesn't it?
00:26:33That's typical Les Jarvis, isn't it?
00:26:35All them bleeding actors have been working through the night
00:26:37with all them bleeding film crew.
00:26:38You turn up at six o'clock in the morning
00:26:40just to get to the front of the queue.
00:26:41I wasn't first in the queue for your information.
00:26:43I was a few minutes late.
00:26:44I would have been first,
00:26:45but my mum had done me a load of toast and bacon.
00:26:47So you'd already had a load of...
00:26:48Hey Mike, are you all ready?
00:26:50Seen any zombies yet?
00:26:52Just the one, Bob.
00:26:53All right, Bob.
00:26:54Bloody hell.
00:26:55What time is it?
00:26:56I'm not late, am I?
00:26:56No, five minutes early, actually.
00:26:59Blimey, Les.
00:27:00That looks good.
00:27:01Grey, putrefied flesh and the hair.
00:27:04They're good, these make-up people, aren't they?
00:27:05He's not been in yet.
00:27:07Oh.
00:27:07Has any been to the catering unit?
00:27:09Yeah, I've just been there.
00:27:10They run out of nearly everything.
00:27:11All the meat's gone.
00:27:12Apparently all the meat got stolen in the night or something.
00:27:17And cut.
00:27:19Okay, that's breakfast.
00:27:21Back on set at quarter two, everyone.
00:27:24Where'd they nick all the meat?
00:27:26Bastards.
00:27:28Bloody starving.
00:27:29Did you get anything?
00:27:30Did I, heck?
00:27:31Our Leslie seemed to scrape through, though, didn't you?
00:27:34I was lucky, really.
00:27:35Hey, I managed to save the last of the sausages for later.
00:27:38Oh, really?
00:27:39Yeah, there was only a couple left.
00:27:41They were like bullets.
00:27:43Normally I wouldn't eat this sort of stuff with a ten-foot pole, but, well, you know.
00:27:48Hey, you should have got down here earlier, Bob.
00:27:51I was the early bird, and that's why I've got worms.
00:27:55I'll have a word with the girl in a minute.
00:27:57No, you should have a word with the director or someone.
00:27:59Never speak to the monkey, Bob.
00:28:01Always speak to the organ donor.
00:28:03Okay, my lovelies.
00:28:04I'm Alison.
00:28:05I'm the first assistant director.
00:28:07If you've been to Hair and Wardrobe, go and get yourself a breakfast and sit on the bus.
00:28:11Someone will come and collect you when we're ready.
00:28:13Breakfast, if only.
00:28:15Sorry, yeah, I heard that they run out of breakfast pretty early today.
00:28:19And you are?
00:28:20Darwin.
00:28:21I'm Mike, and this is Bob.
00:28:23Hi, Mike.
00:28:24And this is...
00:28:25Oh, hi.
00:28:27That looks good.
00:28:28Didn't expect to see you here.
00:28:30Me?
00:28:31I'm just chatting and stuff.
00:28:33I thought you were up on set.
00:28:35Me?
00:28:36Nah.
00:28:37Okay, it's just that I've never seen you speak to extras before.
00:28:42What is it that you call them?
00:28:43Detestable pond life.
00:28:46Nice.
00:28:47We're sitting right here, love.
00:28:49Oh, did you manage to get your special breakfast?
00:28:52What?
00:28:54Oh, sorry.
00:28:55Go ahead, Steve.
00:28:57Sorry, Greg.
00:28:57I'm going to have to leave.
00:28:59You're very going to go, little Steve.
00:29:01We'll be in a pond if you need us.
00:29:04Cheeky cow.
00:29:05Greg.
00:29:07Who's Greg?
00:29:08How come Greg gets a special breakfast?
00:29:10She called you Greg.
00:29:15She must have mistaken me for someone.
00:29:18Yeah.
00:29:19Greg.
00:29:22Greg Lupine.
00:29:24Even she thought you looked like that twat.
00:29:27She's not far wrong, is she?
00:29:29You must look like him if you've even fooled her.
00:29:31That was the police.
00:29:47They found Obby from the pub.
00:29:51A real mess.
00:29:53Well, he had sunk a fair few.
00:29:54We were all in a bit of a mess, weren't we?
00:29:57He's dead.
00:29:57He's dead.
00:30:02What?
00:30:03He was attacked.
00:30:07Wait.
00:30:08Last night.
00:30:10Near a park.
00:30:12On the way home.
00:30:14It was a frenzied attack.
00:30:17It had literally been ripped apart.
00:30:19Serial killer, or psychopath.
00:30:43They seem to be random killings, following a similar pattern.
00:30:47These horrible murders are all linked by one common connection.
00:30:53All male?
00:30:54No.
00:30:55All savagely attacked?
00:30:58No.
00:30:59All found in or near woodland?
00:31:04There's...
00:31:05There are a few common connections.
00:31:09But the...
00:31:10All occurred during a full moon?
00:31:13No.
00:31:15Did they?
00:31:16Right.
00:31:17Yeah.
00:31:17Make a...
00:31:18Make a note of that.
00:31:21The one common connection.
00:31:24The one common connection is that they are all, in some way, linked to them.
00:31:54To this bloody zombie lot making a film in the village.
00:32:01So, what do we have?
00:32:05So, here.
00:32:07The first victim was a cameraman on the film.
00:32:13Now, his body was discovered in Wales whilst filming.
00:32:18Haven't we got that...
00:32:19Grizzly attack on the backpackers?
00:32:22Now this.
00:32:26Yes.
00:32:27What makes you so sure it was a grizzly, sir?
00:32:34Great scene, Greg.
00:32:56You don't need to both smoke up my...
00:32:58Bruce.
00:33:05Jesus!
00:33:07Who do you have to kill to get decent coffee round here?
00:33:09Oi!
00:33:10I'll get you for Mr. Lupine.
00:33:11Fox.
00:33:12Proper coffee.
00:33:13Not the nasty s*** from that pub.
00:33:15Oh, and get me the rewrites to scene 17 before I actually shoot it, will you?
00:33:20Yes, Mr. Lupine.
00:33:21I'll be in my trailer while I'll be trying to f***ing meditate.
00:33:25Do not disturb.
00:33:27Unless you're Spielberg, Angelina Jolie, or God himself.
00:33:33Yes, Mr. Wanker.
00:33:36Oh, I've just been speaking to him and he's seen five.
00:33:47He was even talking to the extras.
00:33:49What am I with him now?
00:33:51He's calling everyone amateurs and says he thinks he has one of his heads coming on again.
00:33:56I don't think we're going to see him again for a while.
00:33:59Shit.
00:33:59We need to complete on the graveyard scene before it gets too bright.
00:34:04Good luck with that.
00:34:05He's gone to meditate.
00:34:07He says the sunlight's giving him a migraine.
00:34:10For f***ing sake.
00:34:11Bruce will go mental.
00:34:13We're already behind schedule.
00:34:16Bollocks.
00:34:17We're found dangling from a tree.
00:34:21Now, with the new discovery of poor...
00:34:27Nobby, God rest his soul.
00:34:31I think we can be fairly certain that somebody from this film crew has seen or heard something.
00:34:40There's a dangerous person or persons out there.
00:34:44Sir.
00:34:44Yes.
00:34:45We've had a breakthrough with the SIM card from the backpacker's phone.
00:34:48I've got some footage on there.
00:34:49I think you might want to see.
00:34:50We need to get ready to complete on the graveyard scene, Ali.
00:35:03Can you send Greg?
00:35:06He's refusing to come out of his caravan.
00:35:08Rachel, you better tell Bruce that...
00:35:10Hold on.
00:35:11Excuse me.
00:35:16Les, isn't it?
00:35:17Er, yeah.
00:35:19Les, it would seem that you have a doppelganger.
00:35:22No.
00:35:23They're just ordinary sausages.
00:35:25You can have them back if you like.
00:35:27A clown.
00:35:28Oh.
00:35:29You know Greg Lupine?
00:35:30Star of this film, right?
00:35:32I've seen pictures of him.
00:35:33You look so similar.
00:35:35You could have the same mother.
00:35:36She ain't got the same father.
00:35:38That's a lengthy search.
00:35:39See, I told you you looked like him.
00:35:41I thought it was you when I saw him getting out of his car earlier.
00:35:44Why?
00:35:44Does he look like a clown too?
00:35:45Look, I'll be frank.
00:35:47I need to speak to the producer, but we need to get a scene shot urgently,
00:35:51and I don't think we're going to get Greg on side.
00:35:54It's only a middle distance shot, but if we paid you some extra money,
00:35:58would you be Greg for us?
00:36:00OK.
00:36:01Yeah.
00:36:02If he finds out, though, he will go ballistic.
00:36:05OK.
00:36:06Right.
00:36:06So I'm going to need you two to keep it under wraps too?
00:36:09Perhaps if we get you both in the scene as well,
00:36:12that way we'll all be in on it.
00:36:13Brilliant.
00:36:15Right.
00:36:16So you're going to be frank.
00:36:18I'm Greg.
00:36:20So they'll have to be...
00:36:22Discreet.
00:36:23Brilliant.
00:36:24We've all got characters.
00:36:25What?
00:36:29What?
00:36:32Latex and make-up.
00:36:34It's not real.
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:36This is...
00:36:42Ah!
00:36:44Ah!
00:36:44Ah!
00:36:45Ah!
00:36:45Ah!
00:36:46Ah!
00:36:46Ah!
00:36:46Ah!
00:36:47Ah!
00:36:47Ah!
00:36:48Ah!
00:36:48Ah!
00:36:49Ah!
00:36:49Ah!
00:36:50Ah!
00:36:50Ah!
00:36:51Ah!
00:36:51Ah!
00:36:52Ah!
00:36:53Have I missed anything?
00:36:56Black Forest
00:37:00How's he walking these trousers? I feel like I've pooed me pants
00:37:05Thanks. Oh
00:37:08This is brilliant, isn't it Mike? I
00:37:11Know you would have thought it yesterday. We were nobodies today. We're stars in a film
00:37:16I think we'll get our name in the credits at the end. No, we're just extras. They don't put that down. I think he's right Mike
00:37:23After all, it's like she said if we weren't doing this scene for them their schedule would be knackered because of old stroppy bollocks in that caravan
00:37:28I don't think he's right, you know
00:37:31I want to ask them about that credits thing. I think they should
00:37:35I wouldn't bother Les. No one's supposed to know it's you anyway remember? Oh, yeah
00:37:39If you can have word with them about anything, see if you can get some bloody food. I'm starving
00:37:44Here Mike, have that
00:37:46Right Bob get a load of this
00:37:50Whatever it is Bob. I think he's kept it warm for you
00:37:54That'd better be a sausage Les
00:37:56It is a sausage. Look, I've even wrapped it in silver foil so you can warm it up
00:38:02All you have to do
00:38:04Is this
00:38:08Liz, what are you doing?
00:38:12It's clever, isn't it? Only need a few minutes in there. Here you go Mike
00:38:16Put one in for you as well
00:38:21Liz, you can't
00:38:24Actually Mike, I think on this occasion I'll take the chance. I'm bloody starving. Nice one Les
00:38:29Sir
00:38:30Anything from, er
00:38:36Hedlú Cúmru?
00:38:38Nothing sir
00:38:39Oh
00:38:40But the Welsh police did send this footage of that cameraman that was killed
00:38:44From their investigation
00:38:46Similar circumstances
00:38:48They were shooting a scene in a zoo near Wales
00:38:51And this happened
00:38:53Not great footage is it?
00:38:57No, it's crap
00:38:58No, it's crap
00:38:59If you ask me
00:39:00They're better off without that cameraman
00:39:02Sorry sir
00:39:05What are you having with?
00:39:08What?
00:39:10They're going mental over something
00:39:13So is this when the cameraman was killed then?
00:39:17No, no, I think someone got bitten or something
00:39:21It was later that night when the cameraman was killed
00:39:24So it wasn't one of the animals?
00:39:29No, not unless one escaped from the zoo sir
00:39:33But it was some kind of animal
00:39:37Yeah
00:39:38It was a real mess again sir
00:39:40Intestines everywhere
00:39:42Some were missing
00:39:43No human could do that
00:39:45Guts strewn about the place
00:39:47Blood gushing from every wound
00:39:49So the ribcage had been enriched
00:39:51Yeah, it's all right, thank you
00:39:52Sorry
00:40:03An animal?
00:40:04An animal has skins
00:40:08That could be what we're looking for
00:40:12Right
00:40:13Get the lab to recheck those bodies
00:40:15We've got a lab sir
00:40:17I guess we have
00:40:18Sort of
00:40:20Yeah
00:40:21And have a word with the Welsh headloo
00:40:24Or whatever they're called
00:40:25Get them to check that cameraman's body as well
00:40:28I want to see if there's a hair
00:40:30Tooth
00:40:31Anything
00:40:32Anything
00:40:33They all had hair and teeth sir
00:40:35Except the old fella
00:40:36I don't think the teeth were his
00:40:37Not theirs
00:40:39What killed them?
00:40:43Can you roll that footage again?
00:40:45Just...
00:40:46Yeah
00:40:56Stop
00:40:58There
00:40:59Yeah
00:41:05What is it sir?
00:41:07I need to piss
00:41:10This little piggy went
00:41:11Wee wee wee wee wee wee
00:41:13All the way home
00:41:16Daddy
00:41:17Can you take my YouTube boxes?
00:41:18Oh thank you
00:41:19I'll listen to it while we're riding
00:41:22Wear your helmet
00:41:24Yes dear
00:41:25Don't yes dear me
00:41:26Steve's wearing his
00:41:27It'll save your life
00:41:28And you'll thank me for it
00:41:29Hiya
00:41:32Oh
00:41:33See we've got music to cycle by today
00:41:35Yeah
00:41:36Better said I've got to take it
00:41:37Cool
00:41:39You ready then Scott?
00:41:40Yeah
00:41:41Where are we going today then?
00:41:42Over the other side of the moor
00:41:43What?
00:41:44That's miles away
00:41:45You said you wanted to get fit
00:41:46That'll kill us
00:41:47Come on
00:41:49See you later
00:41:50Bye
00:41:51Bye
00:41:52Bye bye
00:41:53Bye
00:41:54Bye
00:41:55How the f*** can they be shooting the scene if I am here?
00:41:58Answer me that
00:41:59It's only a wide Greg
00:42:00A f*** wide of the f***ing scene in which I behead 25 of the living f***ing dead by myself
00:42:07Me the star of this f***ing film
00:42:12So how the f*** can your f***ing scene be shot and not include f***ing me?
00:42:19You're in your trailer Greg
00:42:20I was in my trailer?
00:42:23So you decide to carry on without me?
00:42:26So what if the director decides to take a piss?
00:42:29Someone else takes over?
00:42:31Sir!
00:42:32Sir!
00:42:33Look at this!
00:42:34This had better be important Haskins, is it?
00:42:47Look sir
00:42:48All the wild dogs are snarling and going mental
00:42:51But look
00:42:52They only seem to be going mental and snarling at one person
00:42:57God yes
00:42:59Yes
00:43:01Just moving on a few frames
00:43:03No I don't
00:43:04You just
00:43:07There
00:43:10Jesus look at those teeth
00:43:13What the hell sort of dog is that?
00:43:17Now
00:43:18That one there is the director
00:43:20All the same out there
00:43:22What a bender
00:43:24And that
00:43:29That's the actor
00:43:31Greg
00:43:32Something
00:43:33From all the adverts
00:43:36Christ
00:43:38They're like catnip to them dogs
00:43:42God
00:43:46It looks like that dog thing really bites him
00:43:49Looks like it takes a bite out of them all
00:43:51Oh jeez
00:43:53Nasty
00:43:54Greg Lupine
00:43:57That's who that is
00:44:00Right
00:44:02I think we ought to go and have a word with Greg Lupine
00:44:07I want to know what spooked all those animals that night
00:44:12Yeah
00:44:13I also want to know
00:44:15What happened in the cage that evening as well
00:44:21Better bring your notebook
00:44:23Autograph
00:44:27Oh
00:44:28Askins
00:44:33Is something burning?
00:44:34And what makes it worse
00:44:35Is that you were going to film it in secret
00:44:37While I was locked in my trailer
00:44:39Something is burning
00:44:41The only thing that should be burning is my
00:44:43Contract
00:44:45I could shut this film down
00:44:48Here we go
00:44:50We've got the producer here now
00:44:52I am sorry Greg
00:44:54I have only just heard
00:44:56This had nothing to do with me I promise
00:44:58I will make sure that the scene is shot with you in the middle distance
00:45:01And we will make sure that we see you decapitate the zombies
00:45:06Heads will roll Greg, trust me
00:45:09And not just the zombie ones
00:45:11Let me speak to Bruce
00:45:13If you want talentless untrained pond life to star in your two-bit movie
00:45:19Then maybe you should have got Danny Dyer
00:45:22And not Greg Lupine
00:45:24Greg, darling
00:45:26I have nothing to do with this ridiculous decision
00:45:28What? Wasn't it you that said
00:45:30Quiet
00:45:31Go and get Greg a coffee
00:45:32Now
00:45:33And find Bruce
00:45:35Let's get this mess sorted out
00:45:38I'll go
00:45:39Thanks Rach
00:45:44Can anyone else smell pork?
00:45:49We've just had a report back from the lab
00:45:52Hmm?
00:45:53The university
00:45:54The professor of film and media has managed to enhance individual frames of the phone footage
00:45:59And can quite clearly see what attacked those backpackers
00:46:02You're not going to believe this sir
00:46:04But he says it looks like a cross between a giant
00:46:06A giant?
00:46:08Wolf-like dog
00:46:09And a man
00:46:11A nutter
00:46:12I told you didn't I Haskins
00:46:14A psycho
00:46:16I'm going to need a list of everybody associated with that film
00:46:19And get me a list of everybody that was on that shoot in Wales as well
00:46:24And get me the results of the teeth and hair check on those bodies
00:46:29Oh, another thing sir
00:46:31The earlier footage from Wales shows that the animals in that zoo were a vicious hybrid of the Timberwolf
00:46:36The crew should have been nowhere near them
00:46:38Look at the escape with nothing worse than just a bite
00:46:41I know this is going to sound crazy
00:46:44But there could be some validity in a lycanthrope theory
00:46:46You don't know what I mean when I say lycanthrope, do you?
00:46:57Of course I do
00:47:01I'll be saying we're looking for a f***ing werewolf next
00:47:05Thank you
00:47:09You're not going to take it serious are you?
00:47:12Werewolf?
00:47:13He'll be druggies on skunk
00:47:17Haskins, the victims were ripped apart
00:47:21It's strong stuff
00:47:22Wrong stuff?
00:47:23F***ing are they cyclists?
00:47:26Look at them
00:47:27Look like a right pair of benders all over here
00:47:28cyclists look at them look like a right pair of benders all in lycra right pull up let's see what
00:47:56they're up to I really need to have a word with you at some point askings
00:48:01could you switch that off a minute please you can't stop along here with two bikes I've got a puncture
00:48:16even so you can't stop along here you're likely to cause an obstruction
00:48:26look look it's for your own it's for your own safety so if you've got to do that then
00:48:39take take it up there it's right off the road
00:48:43a bit further
00:49:00it's a nasty stretch along here you see I mean I wouldn't I wouldn't want anything to happen to
00:49:09you're out here if anything did happen well I wouldn't want anybody to point the finger at me
00:49:16and say is this him is this who you've replaced me with Greg it was a mistake he is a mistake
00:49:25you are going to use this hideous gargoyle and you thought he looked like me
00:49:38hang on a second I might be hideous and even look like a gargoyle well I am not
00:49:43you are nobody did you really think you could just jump in and become the great Greg Lupine
00:49:55star of over 17 films and the voice of chunky cut crisps look mate
00:50:03when you need a snack that's a little bit chunky get the bag that's a little bit funky grab a chunky
00:50:16cut cut Co Boot
00:50:20what the ****
00:50:21get me my **** agent on the 4 !
00:50:23Let уже **** now
00:50:46That's weird, isn't it? Listen.
00:50:51I can't hear anything.
00:50:53Exactly. No birds. Nothing.
00:51:01I hadn't really thought about it. I suppose it is a bit weird.
00:51:04Especially out here. It's quite eerie, actually.
00:51:08Hurry up. I'm going to lose a light in a few minutes.
00:51:11Look, use light on that sign there.
00:51:14You know, that's the only light along this entire stretch.
00:51:17It's no wonder there have been so many incidents along here.
00:51:20That's weird.
00:51:42Liz, I thought your sausage might be done.
00:51:44Just wait till my agent arrives. You bunch of amateurs are in deep.
00:51:52Indeed, my friend. Deep.
00:51:57Christ. Never gonna eat.
00:52:00Your coffee, Greg?
00:52:02Mr Lupine!
00:52:04Your coffee, Mr Lupine.
00:52:06Can we get someone to look at this light?
00:52:08What? For a burnt bowl?
00:52:10Jesus, that just about sums you people up.
00:52:14You can't do a goddamn thing for yourselves.
00:52:17Make a decision, use the right people, shoot the right scenes.
00:52:22And now, a simple job like swapping a f***ing bowl.
00:52:27Let me call someone.
00:52:28Call someone? Christ, all you have to do is take one out and put another one back in its place.
00:52:34Like you do with lead cast members, it seems.
00:52:37Think we should call someone?
00:52:38I'll just get out the way!
00:52:41Right, what's in here?
00:52:44Hallogen? Turnstone? Cumberland?
00:52:49I'll get someone from LX.
00:52:51Maybe you want to get an extra who just looks like someone from LX.
00:52:56I mean, isn't that how you people operate on this shoot?
00:52:59Well, just like in the scene, if you want something done properly, get the real Greg Lupine.
00:53:05Seriously?
00:53:07Seriously, Greg I'll get someone.
00:53:09You want to get someone Alison? Then get my f***ing agents!
00:53:11And then get me the union rep!
00:53:13F*** someone is going to get fried over this!
00:53:15And I do mean... F***ing fried!
00:53:18Right. Right.
00:53:37All the power's just gone down here, sir.
00:53:39Same here.
00:53:41Right, well, good news.
00:53:43We've got a match on some DNA found on the cameraman in Wales.
00:53:46Go on.
00:53:48It seems that a Gregory Baggins was swapped
00:53:52when he spent a night at Her Majesty's Pleasure
00:53:54during the poll tax riots in 1990.
00:53:57Gets better.
00:53:59The same DNA was found on the baseball cap
00:54:01found at the scene of the backpackers' murders.
00:54:04Got him.
00:54:06Hold on.
00:54:07Who's Gregory Baggins?
00:54:09He later changed his name to...
00:54:12Greg Lupine.
00:54:14The film star.
00:54:16I said that, didn't I?
00:54:19Didn't I, Haskins?
00:54:20No.
00:54:21I bloody did.
00:54:22You never said it was him.
00:54:23I did.
00:54:24You just said you thought it might be one of that film lot.
00:54:27I said it was...
00:54:28Just drive, Haskins.
00:54:31We're on our way.
00:54:32It'll give me great pleasure to charge him.
00:54:35Then you'd better turn around and head back.
00:54:37He's just been rushed into Norton Hospital.
00:54:39He's been electrocuted.
00:54:44Sounds like he's already been charged then, sir.
00:54:47What's the matter with you?
00:55:00I'm sorry, sir.
00:55:01I think it might be the energy drinks.
00:55:06Right.
00:55:07Get a uniform placed outside that ward.
00:55:09We're on our way.
00:55:10Right.
00:55:13Hospital.
00:55:18Oh, f*****g!
00:55:19Hey, Haskins!
00:55:21Oh, great.
00:55:22The only light for miles around and the power goes off.
00:55:25Well, at least it's a full moon.
00:55:28Here.
00:55:29Oh, thanks.
00:55:36That's a bit better.
00:55:38Not much, but at least...
00:55:41The f*****g was that?!
00:55:44Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
00:55:46Switch it off!
00:55:49Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
00:55:52Tra-la-la-la-la...
00:55:59I think you'd better hurry up.
00:56:06Who'd have thunk it?
00:56:11A big star like Greg Lapine, a bloody werewolf.
00:56:15Well we don't really know that for sure, but one thing we do know for sure is that we can
00:56:20place him at the scene of these horrendous murders, and as well as the DNA in his hat
00:56:26also had his bloody name in it. Gotcha!
00:56:30I never knew werewolves were actually real. I mean I know frankensteins are.
00:56:39So are we going to arrest the bastard?
00:56:42Haskins? He might not be a bastard yet. He has to be found guilty first. Anyway we may
00:56:48have to wait a little while for that now.
00:56:53He thought he was going to be in a big film, but he just ended up in casualty.
00:57:00Do you get it?
00:57:05Haskins, I can assure you that that is not in the least bit amusing.
00:57:11Anyway, with him now in hospital, at least there would be no more killing.
00:57:17Come on, how much long is it going to take?
00:57:24F*** this.
00:57:26Just leave it. Ride it as it is. Let's get out of here.
00:57:29I'm going as fast as I can. I can't get the valve lined up.
00:57:32It's in the trees.
00:57:34It's coming.
00:57:36F*** this. Come on, let's get out of here.
00:57:39No way. These are 26 in Shimano Duratex. Do you know how much these bad boys go for it?
00:57:55What the f*** is that?
00:57:58Good morning and a good day to you.
00:58:21We've quite a meal for you here. There's bacon, eggs, porridge, orange juice and toast and jam.
00:58:37It's good stuff here.
00:58:38So now eat it up and I'll be back to the dishes when you finish.
00:58:42Good. He's just taking him back in the 80s.
00:58:56Good morning.
00:59:01Ah, so you must be...
00:59:03A werewolf.
00:59:05That's what they're saying. A bloody werewolf.
00:59:08I know. Unbelievable. They reckon it was that Greg from the film.
00:59:12Yeah, that's what this one says.
00:59:13A professor at the university has evidence, he reckons.
00:59:17So the recent wave of brutal attacks was the work of a lycanthrope.
00:59:23Witches?
00:59:24No, not witches.
00:59:27A werewolf, Les.
00:59:29All the brutal murders took place during a full moon.
00:59:32All were torn apart and the claw and teeth marks matched that of a timber wolf, only larger.
00:59:37Greg Lupin has no alibi for the times of the murders, always alone in his trailer suffering from severe headaches,
00:59:43all which coincided with lunar activity.
00:59:47This one says his hat was found at the scene of one of the murders with his DNA on it.
00:59:51Oh, the dirty bastard.
00:59:54No, Les. DNA doesn't necessarily mean...
00:59:57Oh, forget it.
01:00:06Apparently he was bitten while they were filming at a zoo by whales.
01:00:11How do you get bitten by whales?
01:00:13The zoo near whales. He was bitten by a wolf.
01:00:15And another thing in the star, it says here...
01:00:21If you change a letter of his name Lupine, it spells Lupine, which means wolf-like.
01:00:32There you go. Now that's proof.
01:00:38How is that proof, you donut?
01:00:40My dad's called Leonard.
01:00:42You change a letter in his name, does that make him a leopard?
01:00:44I don't know. Which letter?
01:00:48Which letter?
01:01:11You alright?
01:01:18I don't know.
01:01:21Jesus.
01:01:24I've never seen a body in such a state.
01:01:27Should have worn his helmet.
01:01:29Asking to lower half of his body's missing.
01:01:37What the hell could have done that?
01:01:39The bee found!
01:01:48Something doesn't add up.
01:01:50Why would he come into the woods to fix his bike?
01:01:53Why not just do it on the road?
01:01:55If the moon was full, it would have been much brighter.
01:01:58And safer.
01:02:01What have you got there, Haskins?
01:02:03Music box, sir.
01:02:05Has it been dusted for prints?
01:02:11No, sir.
01:02:13Put it down, then.
01:02:19Well, don't wipe the...
01:02:21Don't wipe all the...
01:02:33Hang on a minute, sir.
01:02:35Isn't that one of the cyclists that you told him?
01:02:38No, alright, Haskins. Do you want to go and wait in the car for a couple of minutes?
01:02:41Better still, help us find the other cyclist.
01:02:44There are two bikes, there must have been two riders.
01:02:46Or, maybe, the other one got away.
01:02:51Maybe, just maybe, he battled valiantly to escape this depraved killer.
01:03:02Help us sort out this gruesome mystery once and for all.
01:03:08Make a positive idea in Greg Lepine and tell us exactly what he became.
01:03:13Help us solve this mystery of what happened on that horrible night.
01:03:22No, sir. He's over here.
01:03:24The sooner we wrap on this movie, the better. The police and the media, they're everywhere.
01:03:32Look, this may sound mercenary, but have you seen the publicity it's generating?
01:03:38This film is going to be huge. Shame it wasn't about werewolves instead. God, you couldn't buy publicity like this.
01:03:47Verity, it may have escaped your attention, but not only is the power still down, our lead actor is a frigging werewolf and serial killer.
01:03:54He's been electrocuted, got third degree burns, is in a guarded hospital ward and possibly in a bit of a bad mood.
01:04:02And if he ever does get out of his hospital bed, it'll probably be just to get transferred to a secure prison. So we may have a bit of a wait.
01:04:09What's left to shoot?
01:04:13Just some crowd scenes, some establishing shots and a piece with the heroine.
01:04:19Well, do we need to use Greg? I mean, can't we complete using that guy again that looks like him?
01:04:26Well, we could, and I'm sure we could find him, but there's a very good chance he could be-
01:04:33He's not in a good way. It says here he's got a detached retina from the shock.
01:04:40The third degree burns to the soles of his feet where he earthed.
01:04:45Do you think I'll get a reward?
01:04:47A reward?
01:04:49Oh yeah. I caught a crazed killer. I caught a bloody werewolf.
01:04:53Well, it's as plain as the egg on your face. If I didn't have the looks of a film star, you know, that Greg, he'd still be out there killing people.
01:05:03So you think it was your looks that finally snared him?
01:05:07Well, in a roundabout way, yeah.
01:05:09And not by placing a fat-filled combustible into the heat of a 20 kilowatt studio light?
01:05:13Well...
01:05:15Or by wrapping it in tinfoil, making it less of an incendiary device and more of a live conductor?
01:05:19Yeah, well...
01:05:21It wasn't half a flash though, wasn't it?
01:05:23Well, I reckon 50,000 volts went through.
01:05:25Oh...
01:05:27Did you see his face?
01:05:40Les!
01:05:42Hey! I know it sounds a bit rude.
01:05:44But when the brushing was happening, and he was starting to smoke and stuff, he looked like he was having a s***.
01:05:52He probably bloody was!
01:05:55I wonder how he is.
01:05:57According to this, his teeth were still hot when the ambulance got him to the burns unit.
01:06:02Oh, and of course they couldn't do anything for him until he got the power back on.
01:06:04Oh yeah, the entire county's down.
01:06:06Oh, Christ!
01:06:08What?
01:06:10Well...
01:06:12The real ales are all pulled on draught, aren't they?
01:06:16And the lager's electric.
01:06:17So does the lager still work?
01:06:27The entire county has got no heating or electric.
01:06:30Schools have been forced to close.
01:06:32And the local hospital's struggling because the overhead power cables have melted.
01:06:35And Leslie Jarvis is concerned about what?
01:06:42Go on.
01:06:44I don't believe this.
01:06:47What?
01:07:05Is the lager on, Bob?
01:07:24Is he as bad as the other one?
01:07:26No. I don't think so.
01:07:28Look, sir. He was wearing his helmet.
01:07:32Is he still alive?
01:07:33I think so, sir.
01:07:36I think the helmet must have said...
01:07:41No.
01:07:57Seven arms?
01:07:58Er, sorry. Dirty hog.
01:08:01Yeah.
01:08:03Who?
01:08:05Les Jarvis.
01:08:07Yeah, I know he is.
01:08:10Yeah, well he's here so I'll tell him.
01:08:12Right. Bye.
01:08:14Full house.
01:08:15Five kings.
01:08:16Not again.
01:08:18Apparently, producer of the film wants to see the man who resembles Greg Lupine.
01:08:22I thought my ears were burning.
01:08:23So you really do resemble him.
01:08:25Why do they want to see me?
01:08:27Sounds like you're in a s**t.
01:08:28I wonder what for?
01:08:30Oh, I don't know, Leslie.
01:08:31Maybe bringing down a county's entire power supply.
01:08:34Causing a small fire?
01:08:35Causing thousands of pounds worth of damage to film equipment.
01:08:38Erm, being a twat.
01:08:41Yeah.
01:08:42Electrocuting a film star?
01:08:43That's the one.
01:08:44Oh, great.
01:08:45Blame Les.
01:08:46I bet they'll be blaming me for his detached rectum next.
01:08:49Well, there's a good chance, Leslie.
01:08:51As one, it was all caused by you.
01:08:54And two, it was all caused by you.
01:08:57What was B again?
01:08:58You better get ready to face the music, Les.
01:09:01Oh, no need.
01:09:03Guess who's just walked in?
01:09:05Go on.
01:09:06Okay.
01:09:07Look who's just walked in.
01:09:08Uh-oh.
01:09:09It's the main zombie film woman.
01:09:11Makeup's not very good, is it?
01:09:13Can I have a word with you, Mr Jarvis?
01:09:16Jarvis?
01:09:18How are you, Alison?
01:09:19I don't know about you, Mr Jarvis.
01:09:20Jarvis?
01:09:21But I don't believe in beating about the bush.
01:09:22That's a surprise.
01:09:23I've heard all about you, Phil Lott.
01:09:24I'll come straight to the point.
01:09:25We are in the sh**.
01:09:26Yep.
01:09:27Like I said.
01:09:28All right, Les.
01:09:29How can we help you?
01:09:31As you probably know, Greg Lupini,
01:09:33the star of the film has been incapacitated,
01:09:34and will be out of action for a while.
01:09:35Tomorrow we'll be announcing that although he's making progress,
01:09:36he will not be returning to filming duties on this particular production.
01:09:37Sorry to hear that.
01:09:38I bet you've invested a lot in this film.
01:09:39You wouldn't believe how much.
01:09:40We have been blighted with problems.
01:09:41First, the crew getting attacked and bitten during the zoo.
01:09:42shoot, then the death of the movie.
01:09:43I don't think so.
01:09:44I don't think so.
01:09:45I think so.
01:09:46You're right, Les.
01:09:47How can we help you?
01:09:48As you probably know, Greg Lupini, the star of the film,
01:09:49has been incapacitated and will be out of action for a while.
01:09:52Tomorrow we'll be announcing that although he's making progress,
01:09:55he will not be returning to filming duties on this particular production.
01:09:59Sorry to hear that.
01:10:00I bet you've invested a lot in this film.
01:10:02You wouldn't believe how much.
01:10:04We have been blighted with problems.
01:10:07First, the crew getting attacked and bitten during the zoo shoot,
01:10:11then the death of a cameraman,
01:10:13some grisly incident near to our location,
01:10:15and now the hospitalisation of Greg.
01:10:17We have lost time, money and even equipment.
01:10:22We could stand to lose over three million.
01:10:25Fortunately, all of Greg's close-ups and action scenes had already been completed.
01:10:31So all we really need now are some long shots, silhouettes and profiles for the remainder.
01:10:37And this, Mr Jarvis.
01:10:40Jervis.
01:10:42This is where you come in.
01:10:44I've been here ages.
01:10:48Could I just have a moment at the bar, please?
01:10:50Oh, please do.
01:10:52Oh, I am impressed, Leslie.
01:11:04Once you've taken the time to understand something and think about it.
01:11:08I just wanted a pint.
01:11:10What was she going on about, Mike?
01:11:14They need you to fill in for Greg Lupine, you twat.
01:11:16They need you to finish the film, otherwise they're in the s***.
01:11:20You are holding the tramps.
01:11:22Could you tell?
01:11:24I did squeak one out earlier, but I didn't think anyone had heard it.
01:11:26I still can't believe this werewolf thing.
01:11:38Well, let's go see our werewolf, Mr Lupine, in hospital, shall we?
01:11:42See if he's in a mood to talk.
01:11:44He might want to know that we've found his latest victims.
01:11:50Something else doesn't add up with these cyclists, as well as why they were up here in the first place.
01:11:56It's a time of death.
01:11:59You say you saw them alive, officer?
01:12:01Yeah, me and the DI did.
01:12:03That was when the DI told him to get off the path and...
01:12:05Did you want to tell her the time?
01:12:0710 to 8.
01:12:08When we saw the cyclists?
01:12:108.15.
01:12:12Okay, okay, listen up everyone.
01:12:15I'm sure you've all heard the stories by now that Greg Lupine is the chief suspect in a series of gruesome murders
01:12:24by an alleged werewolf that took place in the woods.
01:12:29This is absolute nonsense, and please do not talk to the press about it.
01:12:35Greg Lupine has been nowhere near the woods.
01:12:39He was also hospitalised yesterday, so just to keep you in the loop, his condition improved a little overnight,
01:12:45but he is not out of the woods just yet.
01:12:48Not that he was in the woods.
01:12:51When I say out of the woods, I mean...
01:12:56I think we owe it to Greg and to our investors, of course, to finish this movie.
01:13:03So we will be completing on scenes 48 and 62 this evening using our new Greg looky likey, Les Jarvis.
01:13:12Jarvis.
01:13:13Whatever.
01:13:14Now, there may be a police presence during these last few takes while an investigation is carried out.
01:13:21So please, can you all be as co-operative as possible?
01:13:25And they will hopefully be as quick as they can.
01:13:28We have been assured that the power will be back on shortly.
01:13:32So, let's finish this movie.
01:13:35For Greg.
01:13:37Woo!
01:13:42Wow.
01:13:43You're a sensation, Lesley.
01:13:45I know.
01:13:46I've got the sweet smell of success ringing in my ears.
01:13:49Do you hear what she said about the police, Mike?
01:13:52I reckon they might want to question us about that sausage and executing Greg.
01:13:57Right.
01:13:58We've got to make sure all our ducks are singing on the same page.
01:14:01Yeah?
01:14:03We need to avoid talking to the police.
01:14:06Okay?
01:14:08Yes, Les.
01:14:09Good.
01:14:13Where's Bob?
01:14:14He's over there talking to the police.
01:14:23You spoke to them at 8.15?
01:14:29According to the ambulance crew, they responded to the phone call from the studio at 7.02.
01:14:37And took Mr Lupine to the hospital where he was admitted at 7.41.
01:14:41You see, this is what doesn't make sense.
01:14:44Greg Lupine can't be your man.
01:14:48Right.
01:14:49Let's get back to the film set.
01:14:53Haskins?
01:14:54The car.
01:14:55Volvo.
01:14:56I know what it is.
01:14:57Go and get it.
01:15:14Sorry, guys.
01:15:15The main power's back on now.
01:15:16Stand by, everyone.
01:15:17Just need a few minutes to reset.
01:15:20Sorry, Bruce.
01:15:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:15:23Okay, we need to get this scene bagged and in the can quickly tonight, people, alright?
01:15:27And I do mean quickly.
01:15:29I want to wrap in 20 minutes.
01:15:30Bruce, we've got a couple of hours on this according to the schedule.
01:15:32Yeah, not tonight, Alison.
01:15:34I'm a little concerned about the light, alright?
01:15:36But to full moon?
01:15:37Yeah, yeah, but it's no good from my point of view.
01:15:39It changes too many things.
01:15:41Let's just get this done before it changes anything else.
01:15:43Don't you want to wait till the extra lights come back on?
01:15:45God, there's no time.
01:15:46Just, just do it, okay?
01:15:53There, Haskins.
01:15:54See that?
01:15:56Yep.
01:15:57Chip shop.
01:15:59Can I put the blues and twos on, sir?
01:16:02Go on, then.
01:16:03I want that.
01:16:04Yes!
01:16:15Oh, ****.
01:16:17What?
01:16:18You remember I wrapped that sausage in silver foil and put it in the light for Bob?
01:16:22I think we all remember that, Leslie.
01:16:23Yeah, well there were two.
01:16:24I put one in for you as well, remember?
01:16:27Oh, yeah.
01:16:29Yours is in that one.
01:16:33Oh.
01:16:34Oh.
01:16:35Oh.
01:16:53Clear the set!
01:16:54Bruce, I thought we were going to shoot this second.
01:16:56Clear the set now!
01:16:57Okay, your hair brews.
01:16:58Clear this out.
01:16:59We're going for a take.
01:17:00No!
01:17:01No!
01:17:02No!
01:17:31No!
01:17:32No!
01:17:33No!
01:17:34No!
01:17:35No!
01:17:36Exchange, my hand!
01:17:37Help!
01:17:39No!
01:17:40Help!
01:17:41management, these are killed.
01:17:43No!
01:17:44Time!
01:17:46You ready?
01:17:48Bet you now is Kaedlings!
01:17:50Nice to meetry
01:17:55Without you.
01:17:56No!
01:17:57What do we do?
01:18:15Show him your cross!
01:18:18I am a cross!
01:18:20He's a vampire!
01:18:23What do you say you're running?
01:18:53I think he's already dead.
01:19:00Listen!
01:19:08Fuck me, that's hot!
01:19:15What the hell?
01:19:22What the hell?
01:19:29I told you they were like bullets.
01:19:36Silver bullets.
01:19:43Okay, listen up.
01:19:44You may all be in danger.
01:19:45Uh-huh.
01:19:46We know that Greg is not the...
01:19:52Oh.
01:19:53Oh.
01:19:54Oh.
01:19:55Oh.
01:19:56Oh.
01:19:57Yes, well we had worked out that it couldn't have been Greg Lupine.
01:20:04Although evidence did clearly point that way.
01:20:11Recovered footage shows that he was indeed attacked by those wild dogs and it did appear
01:20:16that he was bitten by one.
01:20:17Hence our suspicion.
01:20:18However, we don't always get it right first time.
01:20:49You can tell Mr Lupine that he's free to leave the hospital as soon as he's able to.
01:20:53Yes.
01:20:54On close...
01:20:56Yes.
01:20:57On closer inspection, it appears that Bruce the director was in fact bitten by one of these
01:21:06dogs too.
01:21:07And it was Bruce that had become infected.
01:21:10Incredible as it seems.
01:21:13Werewolves do exist.
01:21:24Or did.
01:21:27Thank God we were at hand, that's all I can say, to put an end to this gruesome episode.
01:21:34I think the village can rest assured once again that they are finally living in safety.
01:21:43There will be no more murders on my watch.
01:21:48Oh no.
01:21:49Not on my watch.
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