- 2 ngày trước
Ranjeet asks Mr. Brown to help him escape an arranged marriage.
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00:00The End
00:30Do, do, do, do, do ah!
00:32Do, do, do, do, do ah!
00:35Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba!
00:37Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-ba, ba!
00:45Cali's nebria, siri-bar is.
00:47Oh, Max, can you help me?
00:51Sure. Anything you want.
00:52I'm in very big trouble.
00:54I'd kill it.
00:56..the man who put you in big trouble!
00:59no man you're gracias no it's my homework i don't finish it i haven't even started it
01:09but mr brown is going to be very angry don't worry giovanni he's gonna fix everything yeah
01:17okay who wants the homework only 10p each
01:20hey hey hey hey 10p no peseta
01:30okay who's next please giovanni yeah how how how we know answers are right sure answers are right
01:37my landlady's little boy writes them down
01:43oh this is too bad he should be here you want to give mr blown a massage
01:59i presume you mean message no thank you no i shall wait until he arrives will give me an opportunity
02:08to find out how much you have learned which is precious little i suspect but madame we learn a
02:13lot from mr brown quiet now quiet quiet very well let's see if we can find out how much you've learned
02:23from mr brown i can anyone give me a sentence containing the word catalyst well come along
02:31somebody catalyst yes in my country spain most of the people are roman catalyst
02:47i don't believe it that's not right no italy's a much bigger catalyst country
03:01it's almost good night yeah well i'm sorry i'm late i was detained at the paper shop mr brown i know
03:14the times are hard but do you have to deliver newspapers oh no no i bought them they're they're
03:18for the students as part of their education well they certainly need some education yes well good
03:24evening oh squeeze me please i'm just this moment arriving squeeze me again i go what
03:38i come back are you moving house oh not at all i'm coming here straight from work oh you've got a job
03:47yes please i'm a traveling sailman i go around nicking the doors knocking that is correct what are you
03:55selling oh blimey everything for a master or a mistress i show you some example maybe you will be
04:01wanting to buy something no thanks i don't think that's my size i'm so sorry please this case is for the
04:10lady people's only and this case is for the men people and everything very cut price ah look this
04:19please you not have to be tying it and also if you are dropping soup you'll be wiping it off
04:28it's jolly good plastic yes very ingenious only one pound fifty you're wanting one no thanks i'm telling
04:36you what i'm doing to you only one point yeah i don't want money how about the jolly good shirt ah it
04:45is guaranteed 100 percent substandard no thank you ali you got any socks plenty socks 50p only plenty
04:56woolly yeah early excuse i'm serving okay i have two right one two money money money now tell me anybody
05:09wanting any under trousers all different colors how much only 50p early please ah you are wanting one
05:17i'm finding a very good pair i'm finding a very good pair oh hi hi hi hi hi lovely lovely red white and
05:24blue just like union jack blue very patriotic but no thank you have you any scarf most definitely
05:33for you only one pound made in hong kong hong kong i not buy from capitary state where workers
05:40exploited as cheap labor oh anybody else want to think something else all right before we do
05:59anything else this evening i want to find a monitor okay you tell us where to look we find the one
06:05oh geovania monitor is a person who can take charge of the class during my absence somebody
06:11intelligent enough to assume responsibility on second thoughts perhaps it's not such a good idea
06:15after all please i think i'm making good money i think we'll alternate have a different one each week
06:22it'll be good experience for you right uh anna we'll start with you thank you thank you if you'll just
06:28hand these round and collect the homework yeah yes anna yes and from now on i want to hear no more foreign
06:34languages spoken in this class from the moment you come in here you speak english all the time
06:39is that understood now have you all got a newspaper right well i'm going to ask you each to read out
06:55a passage from the newspaper and then we'll discuss it together, okay? Max, you start us off.
07:04American Embassy bugged.
07:10No, Max, bugged. Hey, my boss, he all the time says he's bugged.
07:19Yes, so that may be so, Giovanni, but the word we're dealing with is bugged. Now read it again,
07:24Max, correctly. American Embassy bugged. Good, good. Now, does anybody know what that means? Ah, tarot.
07:40It means American Embassy full of little insects.
07:48No, tarot, they're not that sort of bugs, listening devices.
07:51Jamila, can you read something from your newspaper?
07:55Yeah, read something.
08:06Yes, well, that's a start.
08:13Late again, Ranjit?
08:14Mr. Teacher, I am apologizing most humbly.
08:17Yes, well, perhaps next week you'll try and get here on time.
08:20I'm thinking next week I'm not being here at all.
08:23Well, are you leaving us?
08:25I'm going to be joining honorable ancestors.
08:30Does it mean you're going to die?
08:30Most definitely.
08:32I'm going to die by my own hand.
08:34Please, if you're wanting any assistance, I'm happy to be helping.
08:44Of course, you didn't like Sikhs.
08:46That is why I'm happy to be helping.
08:49All right, Ali, this is no laughing matter. I think Ranjit is serious.
08:53Most certainly I am.
08:54Oh, why are you thinking of killing yourself?
08:56I'm forced to be getting married.
08:58Oh, you randy old chapati.
09:03You are putting some innocent lady in the pudding club.
09:06You are nothing of a sacking Muslim, quit.
09:08All right, that'll do.
09:09Look, I don't understand, Ranjit.
09:10Why are you being forced to get married?
09:13According to the Sikh tradition, I was betrothed when I was 12 to Surinder,
09:18the 10-year-old daughter of the best friend of my father.
09:22She was a beautiful girl with hair like silk, eyes like black diamonds,
09:30and a figure like a tender bamboo shoot.
09:34And now her father is saying it is time for me to be marrying her.
09:37Well, if she said eyes like black diamonds, hair like silk,
09:40and a figure like a tender bamboo shoot, what are you complaining about?
09:42Blimey, that was 20 years ago.
09:45Now she is putting on so much weight that from behind she's looking like an elephant.
09:49Not a fact, she's looking like an elephant from front also.
09:56Can't you just tell her that you've changed your mind?
09:58Not at all.
09:59Only lady can change mine.
10:01I am up the creek without a poodle.
10:05In a paddle.
10:07You not do it.
10:08It's a sin to kill yourself.
10:10It's the only cause which is left open to me.
10:13When you do this killing yourself?
10:15Tonight.
10:18Can we come and watch?
10:20This is ridiculous.
10:21People don't go around killing themselves rather than break off an engagement.
10:24But it is my religion.
10:25Well, in that case, why don't you marry?
10:27That will be worse than killing myself.
10:29Well, go and sit down.
10:30We'll discuss whether you kill yourself or not during the tea break.
10:33Would you all look at your new...
10:34There is an Indian lady in my office who wishes to speak to Mr Ranjit Singh.
10:40Excuse me, Missy.
10:41This lady, is she resembling an elephant?
10:44I wouldn't exactly put it like that, but she's rather large.
10:48Blimey, please surrender.
10:50Yeah, well, uh, ask her to come along here, Miss Courtney, would you?
10:52That's very irregular.
10:53Yeah, well, it is rather important.
10:54Oh, very well, but don't make a habit of it.
10:56What are you doing that for?
10:59Oh, so we can talk to her, perhaps make her see reason.
11:01It's not anywhere possible.
11:03I kill myself.
11:04Come on, put it in Max Giovanni.
11:06Hold his up.
11:08Where is he?
11:09He's not here yet.
11:10Ah, I wait for him in the corridor.
11:14He is promised to me, and I swear by Holy Guru, he is having me.
11:19Well, what am I telling you?
11:42Yes, I quite see your point about an elephant.
11:46Still, don't worry, Ranjit.
11:47I'm sure some elephants are very nice.
11:49Can I have a nice bag, please?
11:50Promise you won't kill yourself.
11:52Promise?
11:53Killing myself is not going to help me?
11:55It's the attitude.
11:57I have a much better idea.
11:59I kill her!
12:00No!
12:17You're still there?
12:26Yes, I'm still here.
12:29I really think you ought to go home.
12:30No, I wait for Ranjit.
12:33Well, I don't think Ranjit will be coming tonight.
12:36I wait.
12:36Is she being out in corridor?
12:46Yeah, I'm afraid so, Ranjit.
12:48Look, Miss Courtney is not going to be very pleased when she finds out about this.
12:51Oh, dearie me, what am I going to be doing?
12:53Well, can't you just tell her you're not going to marry her?
12:55But I am not going to be marrying Miss Courtney.
12:59I am referring to surrender.
13:01Oh, no.
13:03If I am telling her that, she's surely going to kill me.
13:06Ah, you said you were going to kill yourself.
13:09That is correct.
13:10Yes.
13:10Please, in my country, personal commuter,
13:15Herakiri, it is customer for best friend to be presental to Chop of Head.
13:23Chop of Head?
13:25Hi.
13:30I will be happy to assist her.
13:33You will do nothing, nothing of the sort.
13:35Oh, no, no.
13:36Please, everybody, just sit down.
13:38You're here to learn English.
13:38We've had enough disruption for one night.
13:40You should leave your personal problems at home.
13:42Now, look at your newspapers.
13:43Juan, read out a headline.
13:45Por favor.
13:47The newspaper.
13:48Ah, yes.
13:49The newspaper.
13:51Yes, but read something out.
13:53Ah.
13:53Eh, let's see.
13:56Let's see.
13:58English in London Rats.
14:06London Rats?
14:07Yes.
14:08English in London Rats.
14:13Yeah, eh, eh, yeah.
14:23Yeah, Anna, your turn.
14:24Western World welcomes Wind of Change.
14:29Wonderful.
14:29Very good.
14:30Yeah, Danielle.
14:32No, I'm very good.
14:35Yeah, Danielle.
14:41Prime Minister sold a pup.
14:45Good.
14:46Now, that is a very good example of a figure of speech.
14:48Prime Minister sold a pup.
14:50Can you tell me what that means, Giovanni?
14:53He's buying a dog.
14:57No, it's a figure of speech.
14:58Look, let me give you another example.
14:59Prime Minister sold a dummy.
15:02Do you know what that means?
15:03Sure.
15:04Do you understand it?
15:05Yeah.
15:06It's just one thing I don't understand.
15:07Does he buy the dummy before or after he buy the pup?
15:14He doesn't buy anything.
15:15Ah, the newspaper man's a big liar.
15:20A figure of speech?
15:21I told you it's just a figure of speech.
15:23It doesn't mean what it says.
15:25Typical of imperial politicians who distort luth and surplus working classes.
15:31A figure of speech is a way of expressing an idea by way of contrast or comparison.
15:34If you're being sold a pup or sold a dummy, you're being cheated or deceived.
15:39In England, we use figures of speech quite a lot.
15:41For example, we say, as quick as lightning, as light as a feather, as clean as a whistle, as blind as a...
15:46As blind as a...
15:47As blind as a bat.
15:49Good.
15:50Because bats cannot see.
15:51Max, as deaf as a...
15:54Postman.
15:55Now, Max.
15:56Post.
15:57Because posts cannot hear.
15:58Neither can my postman.
15:59Ali.
16:00As sly as a...
16:01Zeek.
16:02Fox.
16:03Ranjeet.
16:04As mad as a...
16:05Muslim.
16:06Hatter.
16:07Tarot.
16:08As drunk as a...
16:09Newtor.
16:10Yeah, well, Lord is more correct.
16:13Jamila.
16:18As white as you.
16:22Snow.
16:23Ali.
16:24As smooth as...
16:26Baby's bottoms.
16:27All right.
16:28as you. Snow, Ali, as smooth as baby's bottoms. All right, we'll break for tea now and continue
16:43with the newspapers when we come back, all right? Please, how am I going to be getting
16:48out without being observed by the fat one? Well, that's your problem. My problem is how
16:54to get her off the premises before Miss Courtney finds her. Look, I really think you ought to go home.
17:04No, I stay. What is going on? What is going on? What is going on? Yes, well, I'm talking to this lady.
17:13Why is she here? Well, she's talking to me. Why is she sitting in the corridor? Why is she sitting
17:20in the corridor? Must you repeat everything I say? I could have sworn that woman wasn't pregnant
17:42yesterday. You're safe now. Thank you, Davila. Thank you. What you do now? Maybe I jump out
18:00of the window. You'd be lucky. We're on the third floor. Mr. Brown, I have a feeling that something
18:07very peculiar is going on. No, no, everything's perfectly all right, I can assure you. Are you
18:11going? Yes. Ah. To get a cup of tea? I want a cup of tea. Oh, blimey, just surrender. Ah, that was sounding like my Ranjit.
18:29Where is he now? I told you he's not here. Well, here, excuse me, dearie. Huh? Are you looking for the
18:36darky fellow with the beard and the bandage round his head? What's happening? Here, he's
18:41just come behind those curtains. Come out, Ranjit. I am knowing you are there. Come out.
18:57What is the meaning of this? I am noticing windows very dirty, so I'm cleaning them for you. I like very much
19:02cleaning windows. In the pitch dark. Now, come in off that window ledger. Come out. Come out.
19:09What is the meaning of this? I am noticing windows very dirty, so I'm cleaning them for you. I like very much
19:27cleaning windows. In the pitch dark. Now, come in off that window ledger at once. More certainly.
19:34Your teeth. A thousand apologies. No.
19:35Oh, no, no, no. I feel like that. Yeah, well, hurry up because tea breaks nearly up. I am
19:41nearly. Yeah, well, go on, Ranjit. I am going to join my ancestors. Don't keep them waiting
19:45I feel like that.
19:52Hurry up, because tea breaks nearly up.
19:55I'm going to join my ancestors.
19:58Don't keep them waiting too long.
20:00Bye-bye, everybody.
20:03I'm doing it now.
20:05This is it then.
20:08Come on, hurry up.
20:11Maybe I'll have a cup of coffee before I do it.
20:20Ranjit, we all know you haven't the slightest intention of killing yourself,
20:23so put your knife away and let's discuss this properly.
20:25Now, Surinder, as I understand it,
20:27you and Ranjit here were both betrothed when they were children.
20:30Most definitely.
20:32Now he's not wanting to marry me.
20:34Well, you can't get married unless you love each other.
20:36It is his duty to be marrying me.
20:38Otherwise, I'm losing my face.
20:40I think she's lost it already.
20:43You wouldn't be happy together.
20:45I mean, can't you just agree to release Ranjit from his promise?
20:48And what is to become of me?
20:49Well, I'm sure you'll meet somebody else.
20:51Ah.
20:52If I think I'll meet another man,
20:55I'll most gladly release Ranjit.
20:58You would?
20:59Most certainly.
21:01But who is having me now?
21:03You know, Surinder,
21:05there is something Mr. Brown is not telling you.
21:08There is?
21:09Oh, yes indeed.
21:11He has special reason for wanting you not to be marrying me.
21:16I have.
21:18He is wanting to marry her himself?
21:22He is wanting to be marrying me.
21:24I'm wanting to marry her.
21:26Oh!
21:27Poor accent!
21:28Oh!
21:29Hello, Mr. Brown.
21:30Good evening, Gladys.
21:31Here.
21:32When's the happy day then?
21:33There's not going to be any happy day.
21:34It was all a complete misunderstanding.
21:35Oh, what a pity.
21:36And I thought you and Surinder made a lovely couple.
21:41With all due respect, she was a couple on her own.
21:42I think it's just the price.
21:43Hello, everyone.
21:44Good evening.
21:45Good evening.
21:46Good evening.
21:47Good evening.
21:48Oh, good evening.
21:49Great.
21:50Go ahead, Gladys.
21:51Well, I checked your homework last night.
21:53I have a feeling there's been some sort of chicanery going on.
21:57I checked your homework last night and I have a feeling that there's been some sort of chicanery
22:12going on. We not know what you mean. No Giovanni, well I'll tell you. Firstly there's the fact that
22:19five of them are all in the same handwriting. It's a sheer coincidence. And is it also a
22:27coincidence that you all answered question seven as follows. Question explain what is
22:31wrong with the following sentence. My dogs is in the garden. Answer, I do not have a garden.
22:40Only tippy. Yes, well you will all receive extra homework tonight. And please this time make sure
22:49that you do it yourselves. I am apologising again. But I am delayed by surrender. Well I thought
22:57she'd agreed to release you from your marriage vow. Oh yes she has. But her father is coming to see you
23:02about your marriage vow. Look there's not going to be any wedding. I have broken it off. Oh dearie me.
23:08How painful. I have written to Sirinder's parents explaining that I cannot possibly marry their daughter.
23:15I've also pointed out the differences between our religious and cultural backgrounds and the fact
23:19that I have no intention of marrying anyone. Oh.
23:25You should have got the letter this morning. Oh yes he did. That is why he is coming. He is hoping to be slicing you into many pieces.
23:32Pardon? He is saying you are bringing biscuits on his daughter. Don't be ridiculous. This isn't a Punjab. It's England. A civilised country. People just don't go around slicing each other up and I shall tell him so.
23:43Oh.
23:44Oh.
23:45Oh.
23:46Oh.
23:47Oh.
23:48Oh blimey. I am not knowing where he is. He is not here. He has a migraine.
23:50Oh.
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24:40Oh. Oh.
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