- 52 minutes ago
Good Girls Gone Wild - Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Thank you so much for watching.
00:00:30Oh, my bad.
00:00:38...to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So...
00:00:50...more, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52Um, I think...
00:00:54So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:58Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:02Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:05Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him.
00:01:08You know, I wanna surprise him.
00:01:10What? But you can't.
00:01:12I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:15Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:17You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:20This is bad.
00:01:21You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi.
00:01:23She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:28Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:48Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:53But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:56I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital,
00:01:58we've done something new and special,
00:02:00but this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:03So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:05Mushrooms?
00:02:07No, not like that.
00:02:08Like something nice.
00:02:10Like maybe a trip.
00:02:12Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:13No.
00:02:15Sorry, Sue, I have a date.
00:02:18So do I.
00:02:20Sorry, Sue.
00:02:21Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:22We'll figure it out.
00:02:35Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:37Yeah, sure.
00:02:39Here you go.
00:02:40No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:43I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:46I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:51Oh, Jake.
00:02:56Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:59Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:01When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:03The best night of my life.
00:03:05It will be, I promise.
00:03:07It will always be amazing.
00:03:09With you and me.
00:03:10Together.
00:03:19Jake, no.
00:03:20I have to go.
00:03:21I have to work on my art project.
00:03:23You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:26but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:30Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:32This Saturday?
00:03:33Of course.
00:03:37Thanks.
00:03:40Okay.
00:03:41Bye.
00:03:50Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:03:52Oh, baby.
00:03:53You're so hot.
00:03:54I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:55Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:56Yeah.
00:03:57What was your name again?
00:03:58Rod.
00:03:59Sex guy.
00:04:00Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:04:07Yeah, right.
00:04:09I bet.
00:04:16Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20Does not compute.
00:04:21Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:28Oh, huh.
00:04:29Hi.
00:04:32When did you go home?
00:04:33So is it true?
00:04:34Yes, it is.
00:04:36It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:39I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:47So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:49Lexi, tell her.
00:04:50Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:54On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:56Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 28th.
00:05:03Maybe.
00:05:05Listen, guys.
00:05:06I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:12I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:21But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:23We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:26Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:30It's not Jake.
00:05:32It's the male ideal.
00:05:34Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:38Right.
00:05:40Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:42I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:43I'm not really an artist.
00:05:44Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:46The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:50And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:52I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:54And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:55Look, I can go either way.
00:05:57I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:02I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:05Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:08But, if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:13You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:20Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:23To church.
00:06:24To pray for you.
00:06:25I want to be first in line.
00:06:27I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:29Yeah, me too.
00:06:39Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:41It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:43I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:45Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:52I mean, not me. I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:59Aww.
00:07:01I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:03Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:06But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:10But there was nothing there.
00:07:14Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:16My best friends.
00:07:18They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:20Okay.
00:07:22Third base.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24No.
00:07:25Like, sex.
00:07:26Like, intercourse?
00:07:28With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:29I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:31If you know what I mean.
00:07:32All the way.
00:07:33Go all the way.
00:07:35What?
00:07:37Ah!
00:07:39Ah!
00:07:41How could you do so?
00:07:43You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:47What?
00:07:53Yes!
00:07:54Yes!
00:07:55Run!
00:07:56Run!
00:07:57Home rep!
00:07:58Ah!
00:07:59Damn it!
00:08:02Fuckin' Yankees!
00:08:05Sorry.
00:08:06Sue!
00:08:07It is 1 p.m.
00:08:08Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:09I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:12Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:13I have an announcement to make.
00:08:14I want to do it.
00:08:15Do you hear me?
00:08:16No.
00:08:17No.
00:08:18No.
00:08:19No.
00:08:20No.
00:08:21No.
00:08:22No.
00:08:23No.
00:08:24No.
00:08:25No.
00:08:26No.
00:08:27No.
00:08:28No.
00:08:29No.
00:08:30No.
00:08:31No.
00:08:32No.
00:08:33No.
00:08:34No.
00:08:35No.
00:08:36No.
00:08:37No.
00:08:38No.
00:08:39No.
00:08:40No.
00:08:41No.
00:08:42No.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44No.
00:08:45No.
00:08:46No.
00:08:47No.
00:08:48No.
00:08:49No.
00:08:50It? Screw? You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs, you know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:59You do.
00:09:00But what about all your religious stuff? And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:05Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:08Really? Well, okay, great.
00:09:12We're all in then.
00:09:14So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there. Right?
00:09:19Right.
00:09:21I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:30Hey, Frank.
00:09:32Hi, Sue.
00:09:34Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:37I don't know. Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:39Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:40Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:47Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:47I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night. It's for our birthdays. Do you want to come?
00:09:56Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:57Well, my house looks done.
00:10:11Tomorrow's the big day. We finally turn 18. And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:17Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at two.
00:10:21So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:26But Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chair?
00:10:29Hey, it's easy. I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:35What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:37I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:47My soulmate.
00:10:51Chris?
00:10:53Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup. I mean...
00:10:58What? No, Chris is perfect. He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:03Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:11:05Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:11What? He does not. Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:15He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:17With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:21Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:22What? Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:26Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:29See you in the morning.
00:11:36I knew it would happen someday. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:52You're so perfect.
00:12:11You're so perfect.
00:12:11You're so perfect.
00:12:41I knew that's what I look like.
00:13:02Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:11Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:18Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:40Oh my gosh.
00:13:41They're coming.
00:13:43Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:47Ew, why?
00:13:49It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:51It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:52I'm going to suppress it.
00:13:54You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:56It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:57It's stupid.
00:13:58Just screw him.
00:14:00That's what he wants.
00:14:00That's what all guys want.
00:14:02Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:03Oh, Christ.
00:14:04I'm going to have your mouth, too.
00:14:06Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:11You're an idiot.
00:14:13A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:17Seriously, come on.
00:14:18Hurry up.
00:14:19Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:26I love it.
00:14:28Um, you should put that down, though, because it's like, it's very fragile.
00:14:31Yeah.
00:14:32Okay.
00:14:33Set it down.
00:14:34Hurry up.
00:14:37Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:39Yeah.
00:14:39I thought so.
00:14:58Whoa, is this part of the house?
00:15:00Oh, jeez.
00:15:00Whoa.
00:15:03Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:15:05Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:15:07Nice.
00:15:07Nice.
00:15:09Come on.
00:15:12Check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:16Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:19Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:22That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:26And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:29Oh, how did you know?
00:15:30I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:38Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:41Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:43All right, sorry.
00:15:44Are you okay now?
00:15:45Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:46Okay.
00:15:47See you later.
00:15:47I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:52This is great.
00:15:53Come on.
00:15:54Jake.
00:15:55Hi.
00:15:56Hey, Ben.
00:15:57Happy birthday.
00:16:00Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:02What?
00:16:03You want a beer?
00:16:07No.
00:16:08I have your present here.
00:16:17I'll give it to you later.
00:16:19The time's right.
00:16:20You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:23And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:29Hey, Ralph.
00:16:30We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:33We'll bet.
00:16:33All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:39Hey.
00:16:40Hey.
00:16:40How you doing?
00:16:41Hey.
00:16:50Check it out.
00:16:53Dare me.
00:16:57Woo!
00:16:58Woo!
00:17:03Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:11Are those real?
00:17:12Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:13Hey!
00:17:14Ah, dude, move!
00:17:15Come on, lame.
00:17:16Oh, all right.
00:17:17Okay.
00:17:18I'll see you guys later.
00:17:19Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:20Aw, the move.
00:17:2120 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:25Yeah.
00:17:27They're fake anyways.
00:17:28Who cares?
00:17:30Okay.
00:17:30Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:35I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:40Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:42Here, let me.
00:17:43Joanna, no.
00:17:43Just go enjoy the birdie.
00:17:45What?
00:17:47Open.
00:17:50Hey.
00:17:51Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:52I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:57Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:58I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:59He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:00Are these real?
00:18:13Of course they are.
00:18:15How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:18I don't know.
00:18:19Maybe he's just going to be around.
00:18:20Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:21Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:24Maybe upstairs.
00:18:25I don't know.
00:18:26Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:29That's probably where he went.
00:18:32Go roll.
00:18:35Liquid courage?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Atta girl.
00:18:41Vodka cranberry?
00:18:42It's really simple.
00:18:45Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:47I can go meet a rod.
00:18:49Sue?
00:18:50Are you okay?
00:18:51Sue?
00:18:52Relax.
00:18:54They're just eyes.
00:18:56Okay.
00:18:56Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:57Seriously.
00:18:58You're going to be fine.
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:19:05Wow.
00:19:05It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:08No.
00:19:08He does not have gateways.
00:19:10I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:12I'm going to do it.
00:19:13I'm going to do it.
00:19:26I'm going to do this.
00:19:28Good luck.
00:19:31Hey, you can do this.
00:19:33Just act like a slut.
00:19:37Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:40Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:49Chris.
00:19:51Hi.
00:19:52Can I talk to you?
00:19:54Uh-huh.
00:19:55Um, in private?
00:19:57Oh.
00:19:57Sorry.
00:19:58Hey, Lexi.
00:20:11Hey, Lexi.
00:20:12What?
00:20:13Chris.
00:20:15You're so sexy.
00:20:17Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:20I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:22And I really want to...
00:20:27Oh!
00:20:27What are you doing?
00:20:29Is that wrong?
00:20:30Sue!
00:20:30What's gotten into you?
00:20:32Nothing.
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I don't know how to do this.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:37Sue.
00:20:38Sue.
00:20:38Sue.
00:20:40I understand these urges.
00:20:44And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:48Really?
00:20:49You do?
00:20:49I do.
00:20:50I really do.
00:20:52It's just...
00:20:59I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:05Right.
00:21:06Lexi said you were...
00:21:07Jesus.
00:21:08Oh.
00:21:09That man.
00:21:10Of course.
00:21:11What did you think?
00:21:12Oh, nothing.
00:21:14So we can still do this then?
00:21:16Oh, Sue.
00:21:19You know, for me...
00:21:22When I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him, up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty.
00:21:50Under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:54I just feel such compassion.
00:21:57I think about those things too.
00:21:59So you understand why I can't do this?
00:22:03Not really.
00:22:03I just find it too hard.
00:22:05It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:13So...
00:22:14So...
00:22:15I'm going to go out there, right?
00:22:26Andy, we're going to totally throw these on.
00:22:28Hey, Ty.
00:22:28Whoa!
00:22:30Have you seen Jake?
00:22:32Uh, no.
00:22:33No.
00:22:34All right.
00:22:34Focus, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:45Oh, there he is.
00:22:49Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:51How could he?
00:23:09Sue, what happened?
00:23:10Did you guys do it?
00:23:12Sue?
00:23:13He doesn't want me.
00:23:15Because he's gay.
00:23:17No, he's not.
00:23:18He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:20Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:22The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:26Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want
00:23:31is to know what kind of woman you really are.
00:23:34Deep inside.
00:23:36What?
00:23:37Come with me.
00:23:38Where?
00:23:39To meet your dark side.
00:23:47Out.
00:23:48Everyone out.
00:23:51Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:24:03I really can't.
00:24:15I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:17I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:23I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:28Sue?
00:24:28Can you see it?
00:24:31Sue.
00:24:35I'm almost...
00:24:36I'm almost there.
00:24:41What?
00:24:45What?
00:24:46Sue, what happened?
00:24:47What did you see?
00:24:48A raccoon?
00:24:50What?
00:24:51You overshot it.
00:24:52Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:53I can't.
00:25:01Please don't make me do that again.
00:25:03Okay, fine.
00:25:04Fine.
00:25:05I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:08What?
00:25:09You really need an orgasm.
00:25:12Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never
00:25:16even had it with yourself.
00:25:17This really has to be your first step.
00:25:20Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:21Coming.
00:25:22Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:24Just find it and use it.
00:25:27Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:29It's black.
00:25:30It vibrates.
00:25:33Come on, Rod.
00:25:34Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:37Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:40Hey, cutie!
00:25:52Cutie!
00:25:57Bullseye!
00:25:58Oh, yeah!
00:26:02Bang.
00:26:04Bang.
00:26:04Bang.
00:26:05Bang.
00:26:07Boy, straighten up.
00:26:10Boy, boy.
00:26:12He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:15I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:26:17That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:19What a bitch.
00:26:21Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:34Oh, shit.
00:26:52What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:58Ah!
00:27:15Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:17Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:20He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:23For sure?
00:27:25I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:27so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:28That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:32No, it's awful.
00:27:34I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:41It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:43I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:44Okay.
00:27:46He's looking for you.
00:27:47He wants to give you your birthday.
00:27:49Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:51Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:53No, you can't just leave.
00:27:55Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:58I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:00No.
00:28:00He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:04Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:05I see only one option.
00:28:07Uh, he's looking for you.
00:28:08He wants to give you your...
00:28:10I'm leaving.
00:28:12Revenge, sad birthday gift.
00:28:13Oh, I can't face him.
00:28:15Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:28:17No, you can't just leave.
00:28:19Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing's...
00:28:22Reve... I mean, what?
00:28:23What does that even mean?
00:28:24It happened.
00:28:25I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:27I don't know.
00:28:27It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake...
00:28:30He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:34Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:34I see only one option.
00:28:38I'm leaving.
00:28:39Revenge, sex.
00:28:40Re... I mean, what?
00:28:41What does that even mean?
00:28:45Catch you.
00:28:48It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:55Revenge, sex.
00:28:57Re... I mean, what?
00:28:58What does that even mean?
00:28:58It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:29:02But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:29:06He doesn't even care about me.
00:29:06I mean, why would...
00:29:07He's just into other girls.
00:29:09Trust me, he'll care.
00:29:11Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:29:14To his ego.
00:29:15To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:29:18Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:29:24No, I... I couldn't.
00:29:26Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:29:30Eric!
00:29:31He's perfect!
00:29:32Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:29:34I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:29:36He likes your type.
00:29:38Really?
00:29:38And what type is that?
00:29:40He's bloody.
00:29:42Yeah.
00:29:43Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:44I fooled around with him once.
00:29:45He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:51Okay, then.
00:29:51Fine.
00:29:52We will find someone else.
00:29:54Someone that I haven't...
00:29:56fooled around with.
00:30:00Okay, what does it matter?
00:30:01That I fooled around with him?
00:30:02I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:30:05No, I just couldn't do it.
00:30:07Fine.
00:30:07If you want to live the rest of your life
00:30:09knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:30:11to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:30:15and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence
00:30:17and you chose not to do it,
00:30:19go ahead.
00:30:20But honestly,
00:30:21I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:24I don't know.
00:30:27But honestly,
00:30:28I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:31I don't know.
00:30:33Trust me.
00:30:34It's going to work.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:44Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:44You're okay enough to chat with her.
00:30:47Oh, no.
00:30:58Hey.
00:31:00Happy birthday.
00:31:01Thanks.
00:31:03Have you guys seen Jake?
00:31:25So...
00:31:30Happy birthday.
00:31:35Uh, do you know...
00:31:36Uh, do you know that most people think
00:31:41that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:31:44But it's actually from us.
00:31:45U.S.
00:31:47America?
00:31:49United States?
00:31:51I know where we live.
00:31:52Right.
00:31:53Of course.
00:31:57I know where we live.
00:31:59Right.
00:32:00Of course.
00:32:05Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:32:06Are you going to make your move or not?
00:32:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:32:08Yeah, no.
00:32:09I can totally move.
00:32:10I just...
00:32:10No.
00:32:11You're fine.
00:32:12Are you the guy?
00:32:24No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:26Fine.
00:32:27If you want to live the rest of your life
00:32:28knowing that you had one chance
00:32:30to do the right thing,
00:32:31to make your boyfriend feel
00:32:32like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:32:34and possibly even scar him
00:32:35with the rest of his existence
00:32:36and you chose not to do it,
00:32:38go ahead.
00:32:39But honestly,
00:32:40I don't know how you'll be able
00:32:41to live with yourself.
00:32:43I don't know.
00:32:46But honestly,
00:32:47I don't know how you'll be able
00:32:48to live with yourself.
00:32:50I don't know.
00:32:52Trust me.
00:32:53It's going to work.
00:32:54Okay.
00:32:54I will intercept Jake
00:33:00and get him upstairs.
00:33:03Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:04You're okay enough to chat with her.
00:33:06Oh, no.
00:33:18Hey.
00:33:20Happy birthday.
00:33:22Thanks.
00:33:24Have you guys seen Jake?
00:33:49So,
00:33:50happy birthday.
00:33:53Do you know that
00:33:56most people think
00:33:56that the happy birthday song
00:33:57was from Britain?
00:33:59But it's actually from us.
00:34:00U.S.
00:34:02America?
00:34:05United States?
00:34:06I know where we live.
00:34:07Right.
00:34:08Of course.
00:34:12I know where we live.
00:34:14Right.
00:34:15Of course.
00:34:15Of course.
00:34:20Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:34:21Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:22Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:23Yeah, no.
00:34:24I can totally move.
00:34:25I just...
00:34:25No, you're fine.
00:34:39Jake!
00:34:41So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:34:43Oh, I'm sorry.
00:34:46I'm sorry.
00:34:46It?
00:34:49Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:53What, um...
00:34:54It.
00:34:54Like,
00:34:55get real nasty.
00:35:01Oh!
00:35:01Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:35:05Get real nasty.
00:35:07Oh!
00:35:08Oh!
00:35:08You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:12I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:14You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:17Yeah, sure.
00:35:18I mean, yeah, of course.
00:35:19Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:21I mean...
00:35:23Whew.
00:35:25Uh...
00:35:26It's just...
00:35:28You're so...
00:35:30You're so beautiful.
00:35:34Okay.
00:35:34Um...
00:35:34Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:38Right.
00:35:39Um, of course.
00:35:41Sorry.
00:35:43So, um...
00:35:46Do you want to unwrap me?
00:35:48Oh, wow. Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:35:54Now that you're left over, you're not. You're fresh.
00:36:00Now that you're left over, you're not. You're fresh. Organic. Yep.
00:36:08So the wrap.
00:36:10Right.
00:36:13Where's the...
00:36:14It's the end that I just like right over here.
00:36:16Oh, oh, yeah, here it is. It's where I see it. Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:20Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:23Sorry, sorry, sorry. I, um...
00:36:25It's, it's okay. Here, do it again.
00:36:28Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:31You know what? Let me just lay on the bed.
00:36:35Okay.
00:36:40Uh, let me just see.
00:36:44Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:36:45All right, this is him.
00:36:47United States.
00:36:48Uh, I know where we live.
00:36:49Right.
00:36:50Of course.
00:36:54I know where we live.
00:36:56Right.
00:36:57Of course.
00:37:01Hold it.
00:37:02Let me just...
00:37:04Whoa!
00:37:05Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:37:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:37:08Yeah, no, I can totally move. I just...
00:37:10No, you're fine.
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:15Oh, jeez, uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:18You okay?
00:37:19Help!
00:37:19Help!
00:37:19Help!
00:37:19Help!
00:37:20Help!
00:37:28Uh...
00:37:29Jake!
00:37:33So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:37:38Oh, I'm sorry.
00:37:40It?
00:37:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:44What, um...
00:37:44It.
00:37:45Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:37:52Oh!
00:37:52Oh, you mean, like, uh...
00:37:56Oh, jeez.
00:37:58Right now?
00:38:00I mean, well, yeah, you know, the sooner the better.
00:38:05Yeah, sure, I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:38:07Um, I just never realized that you...
00:38:09I mean...
00:38:11Whew.
00:38:13Uh...
00:38:14It's just...
00:38:17You're so...
00:38:20You're so beautiful.
00:38:25Okay, um...
00:38:25Hmm?
00:38:26Uh, no cuisine.
00:38:28Right, um, of course.
00:38:32Sorry?
00:38:36Well, that was stupid.
00:38:38So, um...
00:38:40Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:38:43Oh, wow.
00:38:43Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:38:48Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:50You, uh, you're fresh.
00:38:54Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:55Uh, you, uh, you're fresh.
00:38:58Organic.
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:03Yep.
00:39:05So, the wrap.
00:39:07Right.
00:39:08Um...
00:39:10Well, where's the, uh...
00:39:11It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:39:16Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:17That's where I see it.
00:39:18Um, let me just, uh...
00:39:19Ow, ow, ow.
00:39:22Oh, sorry.
00:39:23Sorry, sorry.
00:39:24I, um...
00:39:25It's...
00:39:25It's okay.
00:39:26Do it again.
00:39:28Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:39:32You know what?
00:39:32Let me just lay on the bed.
00:39:36How you doing tonight?
00:39:37Good.
00:39:38Okay.
00:39:40Having a good time?
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:42You're good.
00:39:43Jake!
00:39:43Uh, let me just see.
00:39:50Oh, here it is.
00:39:51I got it.
00:39:52All right.
00:39:52It's, um, full of...
00:39:53Let me just...
00:39:55Ah!
00:39:56Oh!
00:39:58Oh, jeez.
00:39:58Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:39:59You okay?
00:40:01Help!
00:40:02Uh...
00:40:02I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:07What?
00:40:08Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:40:11Oh, jeez.
00:40:12I can't hear you.
00:40:13Uh, uh, uh.
00:40:16Mm.
00:40:18Well, that was stupid.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:23What?
00:40:23I can't hear you.
00:40:26How you doing tonight?
00:40:31You having a good time?
00:40:33Yeah?
00:40:33You good?
00:40:34Jake!
00:40:35I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:37What?
00:40:38I can't hear you.
00:40:40Another beer.
00:40:42Chips are so damn salty.
00:40:47Hold on.
00:40:48I'll take a piss.
00:40:49Jake!
00:40:50Sorry, we're...
00:40:51Upstairs.
00:40:52Yeah.
00:40:53Hold on.
00:40:54I'll take a piss.
00:40:56How much beer?
00:40:56Yeah.
00:40:56I'll take a piss.
00:41:10Finally, I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:41:28Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:30Um, don't worry about it.
00:41:32What?
00:41:33I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:41:37Oh.
00:41:39Well, okay.
00:41:40Okay.
00:42:01Finally.
00:42:02I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:42:12Finally.
00:42:13I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:42:16Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:19Um, don't worry about it.
00:42:20What?
00:42:21I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:42:24Oh.
00:42:25Well, okay.
00:42:26Okay.
00:42:28Well, okay.
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:30Mm.
00:42:31also Pasadena.
00:42:32All right.
00:42:33I'm trying to force you Barcelona.
00:42:34I think I don't know.
00:42:39I'm brewing a lot now.
00:42:41Well, you efficient thisiyaki castle
00:42:42to find a key treatment,
00:42:43which can also work out for you classes.
00:42:46At the same time,
00:42:47I hope you came to use Greenbraith.
00:42:49At the same time therimin 됩니다,
00:42:50you can use Greenbraith.
00:42:51A lot...
00:42:52...
00:42:54A lot ofなた...
00:42:55You know that!
00:42:56what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:43:26oh
00:43:37yeah it's so good oh
00:43:43yep oh my god draw draw draw draw what what what what ah ah
00:43:49oh ah lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing i don't know ah are you okay
00:44:03no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just uh embarrassed i it's probably tmj or fracture swollen
00:44:13um you sure you're okay yeah yeah i'm fine okay great have fun
00:44:21now
00:44:36all right i'm gonna come
00:44:37no no no no no no no no no no no oh i'm so sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's been a really long
00:45:04and I just, I haven't even asked me for anything.
00:45:10Uh-oh.
00:45:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:45:16How you doing?
00:45:18How's it going? Good.
00:45:19Eric?
00:45:21Come, Eric, help me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:45:25Excuse me.
00:45:29Cheryl's in here.
00:45:35What's up, bro?
00:45:36What the fuck is...
00:45:39Hey, wait!
00:45:41Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:45:50Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see. I'm blind.
00:45:54Damn it.
00:45:58Hey, you!
00:46:00You better stop making fun of...
00:46:01I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:46:04Hey, you!
00:46:06You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:46:10Help!
00:46:12I'm so sorry!
00:46:13I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:46:16Ah!
00:46:34Oh, man, no more water balloons. This party's ass!
00:46:35Yeah!
00:46:36Yeah!
00:46:37This just isn't working on.
00:46:38Nothing.
00:46:39What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:46:40Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:41Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:42Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:43Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:44Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:45Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:46Bye, Carrie Lynn!
00:46:48Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:46:49This party's ass!
00:46:50Yeah!
00:46:51This just isn't working on.
00:46:52Nothing.
00:46:53What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:46:54Oh, man!
00:46:55I love this game!
00:46:56What are the controllers?
00:46:57We gotta play here, here, here, here.
00:46:58Okay, let me find another one.
00:46:59Alright, watch on!
00:47:00Woo!
00:47:01Look at this!
00:47:02Whoa, my phone!
00:47:03What are the controllers?
00:47:04Did you do that?
00:47:05Run!
00:47:06I have to play here, here, here, here.
00:47:07Okay, let me find another one.
00:47:08Oh, of course!
00:47:09And it gets better.
00:47:10I'm tired.
00:47:11Oh, yes!
00:47:12Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:47:14Just look at this!
00:47:15Oh, no.
00:47:16This just isn't working on me.
00:47:18Nothing.
00:47:19It's the big deal about these vibrators anyway.
00:47:20Uh-oh!
00:47:21Lock it carefully, man!
00:47:23It locks this.
00:47:24Spark it up!
00:47:25Yes!
00:47:27Oh, man!
00:47:28Oh, my God.
00:47:31Fuel, fuel, fuel.
00:47:32Get that thing away, Jesus.
00:47:36Get that thing away, Jesus.
00:47:44Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:47:47Wasn't me.
00:47:52Whoa, whoa, nice.
00:47:55Are you sitting there or something?
00:47:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice, nice.
00:48:12Do you have the extra controller?
00:48:14Whoa!
00:48:15You are the controller.
00:48:16No, I just...
00:48:18I didn't, I swear, I...
00:48:20I didn't, I swear, I...
00:48:24Whoa!
00:48:26You are the controller.
00:48:28No, I just...
00:48:30I didn't...
00:48:31I didn't...
00:48:32I swear, I...
00:48:43Hey, Sue.
00:48:45What are you doing, man?
00:48:49It's okay, um...
00:48:50Hey, Sue.
00:48:51Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:48:52Yeah, I just needed to...
00:48:53Um...
00:48:54Oh, sure.
00:48:56Listen, Sue, I...
00:48:57I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:48:59You were?
00:49:00You mean...
00:49:01Y-yeah.
00:49:02Y-yeah.
00:49:03Y-yeah.
00:49:04So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:05Can we...
00:49:06Wow, um...
00:49:07Your?
00:49:09Toilet's...
00:49:10Go get a drink?
00:49:11Wow, um...
00:49:12Your...
00:49:13Toilet's...
00:49:14Can you get a drink?
00:49:15Wow, um...
00:49:16Your...
00:49:17Toilet's...
00:49:18Go get a drink?
00:49:19Yeah.
00:49:20So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:23Could we-
00:49:28Wow, um, your toilet's-
00:49:30Go get a drink?
00:49:34Wow, um, your toilet's really-
00:49:37Oh, you-
00:49:39You know what, I gotta go.
00:49:42Um, happy birthday.
00:49:44Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't, I didn't-
00:49:46Oh, God, never mind.
00:49:49This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:05This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:08Never going to have sex.
00:50:10Sex.
00:50:11Ow.
00:50:19Hello?
00:50:20A little attention here.
00:50:21Hello?
00:50:22A little attention here.
00:50:23Hello?
00:50:24A little attention here.
00:50:25Hello?
00:50:26A little attention here.
00:50:27Hello?
00:50:28A little attention here.
00:50:29Hello, a little attention here.
00:50:36Hello, a little attention here.
00:50:44Oh yeah, sorry.
00:50:56Hello, a little attention here.
00:50:59I'm sorry.
00:51:01I'm sorry.
00:51:03I'm sorry.
00:51:05Lex.
00:51:07Go.
00:51:09Oh yeah, sorry.
00:51:11Lex.
00:51:13Go.
00:51:15I'll be selfish.
00:51:17All right.
00:51:19Sorry.
00:51:21I'll be selfish.
00:51:23All right. Sorry.
00:51:25I'll be selfish.
00:51:27All right. Sorry.
00:51:41Jeez.
00:51:43Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:45Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:47Screw it.
00:51:49I'll be selfish.
00:51:51I'll be happy.
00:51:53I'll be happy.
00:51:55I'll be happy.
00:51:57Bye.
00:51:59I'll be happy.
00:52:01You should go.
00:52:03Oh
00:52:33Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, that was bad, that was, that was so bad.
00:53:03Joanna? Do you know a guy named, do you know a guy named JJ? I think that guy's name starts
00:53:16with a J. Hey, does your name start with a J? Yes, it does. So you're JJ? Uh-oh.
00:53:33Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a-
00:53:53Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:54:00A nun. Please punch in your credit card number. Please hold.
00:54:10Oh, thank goodness. 1-900-CONFESSION, how may I be of service?
00:54:17Confession. Confession. How may I be of service?
00:54:21It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse my-
00:54:24I accuse myself of the following sins. One day.
00:54:35Ow!
00:54:41Is that too long? I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:54:45Go on.
00:54:46Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately. Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:54:53What's her problem?
00:54:55A washing machine touched-
00:54:57All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:04What? But what do I do?
00:55:05Just-
00:55:05You know, I sat on a washing machine and, well-
00:55:08All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:10What? But what do I do?
00:55:11No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:17Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:55:21I'm serious.
00:55:23Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well-
00:55:26All right, freak, time's up.
00:55:28What? But what do I do?
00:55:30Just unplug the thing.
00:55:32No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:35Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:55:39I'm serious.
00:55:39Yes?
00:55:40Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:55:46Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:55:48No contritions?
00:55:50You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:55:54So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:55:57Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:56:00Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:56:03Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:56:06Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:56:07Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:56:11He sure is. Now run along.
00:56:16Wow. How do you know all that?
00:56:20Because I'm a nun.
00:56:21Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:56:24Huh.
00:56:34Accidental masturbation.
00:56:35Who'd have thunk?
00:56:37Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:00Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:02Oh, God, I'm getting out of here.
00:57:10I guess I can scare you to me like this one.
00:57:12I'm beautiful.
00:57:13Yeah, admit it.
00:57:14I've got no game.
00:57:16I guess I can scare you to me like this one.
00:57:18I'm beautiful.
00:57:22Fucking douchebag.
00:57:24Damn it.
00:57:25I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:57:29You go, girl.
00:57:31What?
00:57:33What are you doing here?
00:57:35We needed someplace private.
00:57:37But hey, listen.
00:57:38If you're serious about getting laid.
00:57:40Yeah.
00:57:41If you want someone great.
00:57:42I mean, really, the best ever.
00:57:45No offense.
00:57:48Frank.
00:57:49The blind guy?
00:57:50Really?
00:57:51I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:57:55I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:57:57It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:58:00It was like we used all our senses.
00:58:03Everything.
00:58:03If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:58:11All right.
00:58:21What about him?
00:58:23Jeremy.
00:58:24Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:58:26I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:28I didn't know his last name, though.
00:58:31It's Jones.
00:58:32Jeremy Jones.
00:58:34This all makes sense.
00:58:36Excuse me.
00:58:38Jeremy.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:40Hey.
00:58:41Who's on the phone?
00:58:42Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:58:44You'll meet her.
00:58:45I think I'll be here in like an hour.
00:58:46Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:58:48Oh, hi.
00:59:01Oh.
00:59:02Hi, Frank.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:08Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:59:11Relax.
00:59:13You need to relax and calm down.
00:59:26Oh, I'm...
00:59:27I'm...
00:59:28Oh, I'm...
00:59:28I'm...
00:59:29I'm...
00:59:29I'm relaxed.
00:59:34I'm fine.
00:59:35Why are you biting your nail?
00:59:36And your nail?
00:59:37I'm not.
00:59:41How did you know that?
00:59:45Corner.
00:59:49Sit.
00:59:51Roll over.
00:59:51Oh, you mean me?
00:59:58Roll over.
01:00:04Oh, you mean me?
01:00:07Roll over.
01:00:11Oh, you mean me?
01:00:13Oh, how do you...
01:00:13How do you want me to...
01:00:16Just lay down.
01:00:17You want me to...
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:29Oh.
01:00:29I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
01:00:31But...
01:00:32Considering it a teachable moment.
01:00:35Okay.
01:00:39Oh.
01:00:42See me with your hands.
01:00:43All right.
01:00:47Uh...
01:00:48You know, I should really...
01:00:56I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
01:00:58Really.
01:01:11Mmm, peanut butter.
01:01:12Oh, Frank.
01:01:31Oh, Frank.
01:01:33Frank.
01:01:33Frank.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:37Oh, Frank.
01:01:39You know, man?
01:02:06You know, give me two.
01:02:08My...
01:02:09No, man.
01:02:13You know, give me two.
01:02:15My chips, old boy.
01:02:16You know, give me two, man.
01:02:17My chips.
01:02:18You know, my chips.
01:02:19You know, give me two.
01:02:20I'll talk a little bit.
01:02:21My chips?
01:02:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
01:02:25Sorry.
01:02:26Sorry.
01:02:34It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
01:02:37That's all.
01:02:42No, let me do this.
01:02:43Go ahead.
01:02:44I got it.
01:02:44I got it.
01:02:45No, really.
01:02:45Please.
01:02:45I want to help.
01:02:47Nice.
01:02:47Okay.
01:02:48Everybody out.
01:02:50Leave.
01:02:52I have to back you.
01:03:06You're not even getting the chips.
01:03:07They're over here.
01:03:09I see some dust over here, so...
01:03:14It's just so much dust on this floor.
01:03:18I see a dirty floor.
01:03:20Such a...
01:03:21Dirty...
01:03:22Dirty...
01:03:24Forrest.
01:03:41Okay.
01:03:43Oh, yeah.
01:03:44Oh, all right.
01:03:45Oh.
01:03:46I think I got all that.
01:03:47I'm just going to...
01:03:49I'll see how...
01:03:50Oh.
01:03:56Oh, man.
01:03:56We got it.
01:03:57Oh, here we go.
01:03:59Frankie.
01:04:01Oh, my...
01:04:02Oh.
01:04:02What was that?
01:04:03What?
01:04:04Oh, fucking shit.
01:04:06Man, we got to smoke.
01:04:07Oh, we can smoke in here.
01:04:10Stop.
01:04:11Frank.
01:04:11Stop teasing Frank.
01:04:13Oh, shit.
01:04:14Oh, sorry, man.
01:04:16We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
01:04:18Oh, I heard something.
01:04:19You want to join us?
01:04:20Uh...
01:04:20No, I'm not...
01:04:21Come on, you got to do it.
01:04:23Come on.
01:04:24Seriously, guys.
01:04:24I need to go back.
01:04:25What's your dog, man?
01:04:25Dude.
01:04:26What's it like being quiet about it?
01:04:27It's tripping.
01:04:32Frank?
01:04:33Frank, are we going to do something soon?
01:04:35Bro, you are too funny.
01:04:41Thanks, man.
01:04:43Oh, this is some good stuff.
01:04:45I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:04:46Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:04:49Wait, wait, wait.
01:04:50I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:04:54Damn, I really can't remember.
01:04:56This is some good shit.
01:04:57Oh, no.
01:05:16You're the devil.
01:05:18No more.
01:05:22JJ, I'm...
01:05:23Jeremy, you have to remember
01:05:25that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:05:28Please.
01:05:29Lex, I can't.
01:05:31I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:05:33I really like this girl.
01:05:34Fine.
01:05:36It's just so sad
01:05:37because I'm wearing this
01:05:39coupless bra
01:05:40and I also have on crotchless panties
01:05:44with just a little string of pearl in front
01:05:47for extra stimulation.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:50We've got, like, 30 minutes
01:05:55before she gets here.
01:05:56Perfect.
01:06:01Before she gets here.
01:06:02Perfect.
01:06:12I'm going to do it.
01:06:14Let's do it.
01:06:15Fuck me.
01:06:16Fuck me now.
01:06:17Oh.
01:06:17Oh.
01:06:18Oh.
01:06:18Oh.
01:06:19What?
01:06:22What's wrong?
01:06:23I can't...
01:06:23I can't get it in.
01:06:25Just try down there.
01:06:27It's a desert down there.
01:06:28It's sandpaper.
01:06:30It's just...
01:06:31Okay, I get the picture.
01:06:32Just try it again.
01:06:36No.
01:06:37Why is this happening?
01:06:39We fooled around before.
01:06:40I was dripping wet.
01:06:42I came, like, four times, remember?
01:06:43Just do what you did then.
01:06:45Go on.
01:06:45I already did my thing.
01:06:47I already tried.
01:06:48What?
01:06:49What?
01:06:49What is different this time?
01:06:52I don't know.
01:06:54Last time...
01:06:56I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:07:00What?
01:07:01You're not JJ?
01:07:03But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:07:06How can you not be JJ?
01:07:08Who the hell is this JJ?
01:07:10Well, where are you going?
01:07:12We're not done here.
01:07:13I can still do this.
01:07:14I just need a little bit of work.
01:07:15I can do this.
01:07:17I don't need JJ.
01:07:18I don't need anyone else.
01:07:20We can do this.
01:07:22Go team.
01:07:26What?
01:07:27Just keep going.
01:07:28Jeremy?
01:07:32Are you...
01:07:33Shit!
01:07:43Where's Jeremy?
01:07:46We were just, you know...
01:07:48Hey, babe.
01:07:50Just working out.
01:07:51How could you?
01:07:56You bastard!
01:08:00You might want to...
01:08:02What?
01:08:04What?
01:08:08Mariela!
01:08:10Mariela!
01:08:11You know, those aren't mine.
01:08:13At least not all of them.
01:08:16What is wrong with you?
01:08:17You used to be so pure.
01:08:26Well, no more.
01:08:27That's it.
01:08:28Really, that's the last one.
01:08:43Come on.
01:08:47Cheryl!
01:09:02Cheryl!
01:09:06What is it?
01:09:08What are you doing down here?
01:09:10Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:09:14What?
01:09:14Why?
01:09:16Nothing.
01:09:16Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:09:20Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:09:23No, it's not okay.
01:09:26God.
01:09:26And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:28I'm sorry.
01:09:29It's Jake's.
01:09:30Jake's fault.
01:09:31That blind, cheating bastard.
01:09:34Yes.
01:09:35He is such a dickwad.
01:09:36You need to confront him.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:09:40I mean, it's my birthday.
01:09:42And where is he anyway?
01:09:43Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:09:45You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:09:48Yeah, a big piece.
01:09:49A big old chunk of my mind.
01:09:52A big piece of it.
01:09:53Yeah.
01:09:54You know, you might want to...
01:09:57You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:09:59Yeah, you're right.
01:09:59I mean, we're in a sheet.
01:10:02I know.
01:10:08I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm so...
01:10:11I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:10:16I got no game.
01:10:17It's not important.
01:10:36Hey, um...
01:10:37Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:10:39No, no, no.
01:10:39I really need to talk to you.
01:10:41Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:10:43I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make
01:10:50it up to you.
01:10:50Eric, really?
01:10:51I don't care.
01:10:52It's fine.
01:10:53No, but I do.
01:10:54I mean, I do.
01:10:55I care.
01:10:56Eric, I haven't known how to tell you, maybe because, uh, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:11:02But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:11:09Sometime.
01:11:10Soon.
01:11:11Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.
01:11:14Really?
01:11:15Eric, you're shy.
01:11:16You have no game.
01:11:19No, not really.
01:11:22Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:11:23Sorry.
01:11:23Sorry.
01:11:26Okay.
01:11:28All right.
01:11:30I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:11:44Oh, I'm sorry.
01:11:45I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:46Wow.
01:12:06Here I come, baby.
01:12:08Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:12:13Oh, Eric, stop.
01:12:14Um, we can't do this.
01:12:16Oh, God damn it.
01:12:17Not again.
01:12:17Oh, no, um.
01:12:18Cheryl, honey, happy.
01:12:21What the fuck is this?
01:12:23Who the hell are you, dude?
01:12:24Okay, guys, don't.
01:12:29Cheryl.
01:12:30Baby.
01:12:31What is this?
01:12:32Oh, gee, Cheryl, you're, I've been looking for you all night, and you've been, oh, man,
01:12:40no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:12:41You couldn't find me?
01:12:43What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:12:48Cheryl, honey.
01:12:49No, no.
01:12:50We can work this out.
01:12:51Baby, I love you.
01:12:53Jake, no, you have to go.
01:12:54Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:12:56I promise.
01:12:57No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:12:58I'm sorry.
01:13:00Cheryl, come on.
01:13:00No, Jake, please, just go, just go.
01:13:03I'm sorry.
01:13:04You're a harmless bitch!
01:13:06How can you do it?
01:13:07Yay!
01:13:08You did it.
01:13:09I am so proud of you.
01:13:10You got your revenge sex.
01:13:12You've left him in your shell of a man.
01:13:14Revenge sex?
01:13:17It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:13:19Right.
01:13:21That all makes sense now.
01:13:24Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:13:27Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:13:29Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:13:33And you used me.
01:13:35Eric, please don't go.
01:13:36Please, Eric!
01:13:39Aren't you happy?
01:13:41Well, no, that's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:13:45You mean the sex?
01:13:46Was it?
01:13:47Yeah.
01:13:47No, we didn't quite do it.
01:13:49Oh.
01:13:50You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:13:52Really?
01:13:52I just never found the right guy.
01:13:54Or guys.
01:13:55Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:13:58People are starting to leave.
01:14:00I wonder how soon did.
01:14:09I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:14:14This is bullshit.
01:14:15Oh!
01:14:16Oh!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:18Dude, suck it!
01:14:20What the...
01:14:20God, I'm out of here.
01:14:23Yeah!
01:14:24He has good hair, though.
01:14:29Don't you puke on me.
01:14:31Don't puke on my car, either.
01:14:33Right, set, break, dot, I might need a vacation, vacation, vacation, vacation.
01:14:41Take this information through your head.
01:14:45Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:14:49Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:14:51I don't think so. Not with the guy, anyway.
01:14:54Oh, don't ask. Every possible object.
01:14:58It's like every mechanical thing. It was, like, Transformers.
01:15:02They just all became vibrators. I told you.
01:15:06It's addicting.
01:15:08So what about Chris?
01:15:10Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:15:12I told you he was gay.
01:15:14Well, I think I'm just... Oh, cramp.
01:15:18Oh, I think it's broken.
01:15:21So wait. None of us cashed an RV card.
01:15:29Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:15:32So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:15:34Wanna go?
01:15:35No, thank you.
01:15:36I think I should finish up here.
01:15:38Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:15:40No.
01:15:42I don't know. For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:15:47Or something.
01:15:48Why? Do you know him?
01:15:50Sort of.
01:15:51Oh.
01:15:52Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:16:02Love him.
01:16:03Shut it.
01:16:04You wanna deal with him?
01:16:05I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:16:06You wanna get married?
01:16:07You wanna deal with him?
01:16:08You wanna get married?
01:16:09You wanna do it.
01:16:10You wanna get married?
01:16:11I don't wanna get married.
01:16:12You wanna get married?
01:16:13No.
01:16:14Um, no, no way.
01:16:44Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:16:59It's you.
01:17:17I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:17:27J.J.
01:17:35J.J.
01:17:37I don't know.
01:18:43That inspired me.
01:18:45He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:18:48Yeah.
01:18:49Even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:18:53Whose?
01:18:54Eric's.
01:18:55Well, it's him, right?
01:18:58Oh.
01:19:00Yeah.
01:19:01I have to go see him.
01:19:05Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:19:10You do.
01:19:11Mmm.
01:19:12Mmm.
01:19:13Mmm.
01:19:141-900 confess.
01:19:17Sister Terese?
01:19:18Yeah, hon.
01:19:19There was a problem with your credit card.
01:19:20I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:19:21Oh, sure.
01:19:22It's 271.
01:19:23Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:19:27Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:19:28Take you back?
01:19:29Sure, hon.
01:19:30Why not?
01:19:31Why not?
01:19:32Why not?
01:19:33As long as you're on the right path.
01:19:34Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:19:35I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:19:36Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:19:37Sister?
01:19:38What?
01:19:39What?
01:19:40What?
01:19:41What?
01:19:42What?
01:19:43What?
01:19:44What?
01:19:45What?
01:19:46What?
01:19:47What?
01:19:48What?
01:19:49What?
01:19:50What?
01:19:51What?
01:19:52What?
01:19:53What?
01:19:54What?
01:19:55What?
01:19:56What?
01:19:57What?
01:19:58What?
01:19:59What?
01:20:00What?
01:20:01What?
01:20:02Okay.
01:20:03Sister?
01:20:04Can I get up now?
01:20:06I really gotta pee.
01:20:07NO!
01:20:08Hush your trap!
01:20:10Okay honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:20:15I will.
01:20:16Thanks.
01:20:20Sister?
01:20:21SHUT UP OR I'LL П phenomenon you hard, you sheepfucker!
01:20:24Maaaa!
01:20:31Eric, wait
01:20:40Eric, um
01:20:47Look, I am so sorry
01:20:49Cheryl?
01:20:51Eric, um
01:20:53Look, I am so sorry about everything
01:20:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you
01:20:59At the beginning, but then at the end
01:21:01I didn't want to do that with you
01:21:05The revenge part, not the sex part
01:21:08Um, I said I wasn't
01:21:10I just didn't want to do that with you
01:21:14The revenge part, not the sex part
01:21:17Um, I
01:21:19I do want to go out with you
01:21:21And I didn't realize that until this morning
01:21:25I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is
01:21:28And he's all over these
01:21:29Eric
01:21:30Come on, I gotta get going
01:21:33Oh, wow
01:21:35Um, Cheryl, uh, this is
01:21:37My sister Tina
01:21:38Tina, Cheryl
01:21:39Hi, nice to meet you
01:21:43Um, so, um
01:21:47Do you mind if I call you in a few days
01:21:50When I get back
01:21:51Yeah, sure
01:21:53Oh
01:21:59Sorry, no kissing, right
01:22:01No, kissing
01:22:02Oh
01:22:02Mm
01:22:03Mm
01:22:05Hey, did you ever, uh
01:22:20Get those flowers I sent you
01:22:21I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi
01:22:26Wait, what?
01:22:27I never did that
01:22:28I mean, you don't have to lie about it
01:22:31She told me all about your pierced tongue
01:22:33She must have me mixed up with someone else
01:22:40I wonder who it was
01:22:42At least this birthday's over
01:23:03Dear Lord, please forgive me
01:23:18I mean, if you could just
01:23:20I don't know, like, send me a sign
01:23:23I don't know, like, send me a sign
01:23:53Excuse me, excuse me
01:23:55Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:23:57It's on Fountain Street
01:23:58Um, yeah, that's the church I go to
01:24:01Or used to go to
01:24:03Um, it's straight up that way
01:24:05And then left
01:24:05Thank you
01:24:07You're more than welcome to come with me
01:24:10If you like
01:24:10Oh, um, I don't know
01:24:13Well, that's pretty powerful
01:24:22Oh, 250 horsepower
01:24:25225 pounds of torque
01:24:27Like I said, you're more than welcome to torque
01:24:30Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on
01:24:33I don't think so
01:24:36But thanks
01:24:37What's your name?
01:24:39Sue
01:24:39What's yours?
01:24:41Jesus
01:24:42Really?
01:24:44Si
01:24:45Maybe I could use the ride
01:24:49Maybe I could use the ride
01:24:49Some jump
01:25:07Oh
01:25:08Oh
01:25:09Oh
01:25:09Oh
01:25:13Oh
01:25:14Oh
01:25:15Oh
01:25:15Oh
01:25:16Oh
01:25:16Oh
01:25:17Oh
01:25:17Oh
01:25:18Oh
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