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00:00Welcome to Real Talk, where it gets hot, spicy, and to the drama.
00:04Joining us today on Real Talk, we have the one, the only, Autumn Noel from Faded to My Forbidden Alpha.
00:22So May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I'm so excited to talk about this with you.
00:28Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and what inspired your passion for mental health?
00:33Growing up, I usually felt very, like, isolated from other people.
00:39I felt like I wasn't, like, I didn't have a place for myself, like, I didn't belong.
00:43And I realized that, like, there's so many people that feel that way, too.
00:47And I was like, this needs to be normalized.
00:50Mental health is a real issue.
00:51Just because you can't see the physical pain doesn't mean that it's not there.
00:54Like, I kind of went through that growing up, my childhood, like, with my family and stuff like that.
00:59Can you tell us a little more about that?
01:01A very dark childhood.
01:03Very absent parents.
01:05They did the best that they could.
01:06That's why, like, I leaned more into, like, dancing and singing and music because it was, like, an escape for me.
01:13Even, like, watching movies.
01:15That's why I love acting so much now because those things kind of, like, brought me to a different world.
01:20It was, like, reading a book, like, you just get lost in it.
01:24And, like, those were the things that helped me and kind of helped my way through.
01:28Do you have, like, a favorite memory of an experience of being creative that really stands out for you?
01:36There was this one time at church, like, we were doing this, like, church performance.
01:39And then they put the spotlight on me.
01:42And I had to, like, do a little dance and then sing.
01:44And, like, the spotlight was only on me.
01:46And I was like, wow, like, this is what it feels like.
01:49And I was like, I want to keep doing whatever this is for the rest of my life because the energy that I got from an audience was much more than, like, I'd ever gotten from anyone before.
02:01Like, my family and things like that.
02:02And it just, it brought me to life in a way that I can't explain.
02:07So it's like whenever I have a camera on me, like, I don't know, it just feels like I come to life more than when I do, like, in my everyday life.
02:16No, it makes sense to me because it allows you to kind of play these characters and act out certain personas that you might not necessarily get a chance to embody in real life.
02:27You can use acting to express emotions in a different way.
02:31And it's so healthy.
02:33When did you know that you need professional help?
02:36Wow, there have been so many moments.
02:37I don't know, I would say, like, in high school, right before I dropped out due to bullying, it got really bad to the point where, like, I didn't want to, like, be here anymore.
02:50I was like, ah, screw this.
02:52Like, I didn't feel like I had anyone to go to.
02:55I felt so alone.
02:56And I know that there's so many people that go through that, like, children, adults, like, whoever, like, it's a problem that is still happening.
03:07Like, the suicide rate is so high, like, higher than ever, because people suffer from depression, from all of these certain mental disorders.
03:16And it's, like, people don't realize that the things that people say affect other people in a negative way.
03:22Like, even now, like, I am dealing with, like, just people on the internet not having the best things to say about me, having assumptions about me that aren't true in the slightest bit.
03:35And that's why I'm glad that, like, I'm coming on here so people can see that, like, I'm a person and, like, your perception of me, like, it's very different.
03:43It's very different.
03:44Yeah, absolutely.
03:45And, like, honestly, it just breaks my heart because, like, I don't know if you guys know, but Autumn and I are besties.
03:52I literally went crying to her house, like, a few nights ago, and I was like, this sucks.
03:58So, to, like, hear these things being said to you online, like, through a screen, it just breaks my heart because, like, I know the person that you are.
04:07It's just such an issue, the bullying online, and it's why I say don't read the comments.
04:12I can't help it that well, and I think a part of me wants to read it because I'm like, oh, I want to see how well my show is doing or, like, what people's thoughts are on it.
04:21But I'm getting compared to other people, and I already do that, like, myself.
04:25Like, I go through the self-comparison spiral.
04:28And so, I already do that myself.
04:30It's, like, I don't need, like, so many other people doing that for me and telling me, like, who I am or, like, what I am or, like, what I'm doing.
04:37It's, like, no one online really knows me because I've made it a point to, like, in the past year, like, I've started posting even less.
04:45So, it's, like, I feel like I don't even really give that much information as to who I am online.
04:51Like, only the people that know me, like, you and, like, friends really know who I am personally.
04:56So, it's, like, I don't understand, like, why there's so many, like, misconceptions about me because I'm just, like, living and breathing, trying to, like, do my own thing.
05:05And, but you can't change the way that people perceive you.
05:09And that's something that, like, I'm still, like, trying to understand and learn is you can't change it.
05:16When I was in school, girls would just be so mean to me.
05:19Like, yeah, like, I don't want to cry, God.
05:21But, like, yeah, it was just, it was really hard growing up in that kind of, like, environment, like, always being judged.
05:30And, yeah, I just, I hate that feeling.
05:34And I guess that's why, like, it bugs me so much because it's, like, it takes me back to that place and I feel like that scared little girl that I used to be.
05:44Yeah.
05:45So, it's, like, I don't know.
05:47That's why I want to, like, talk about this topic because words affect people so much.
05:52And it's, like, one small thing that you say to someone can push that person.
05:56You have no idea what people are going through.
05:58Absolutely.
05:58And it's, like, it takes zero amount of effort to just be kind because it takes the same amount of effort to post a rude comment as it does as, like, a nice one.
06:09So, it's, like, why not just be kind?
06:11Or if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say it at all.
06:15Like, you don't have to put every opinion you think on the internet.
06:18Like, it's fine.
06:19Right.
06:20Well, I think, especially as an actor and being kind of a public figure, I think that's, it's really important that you are doing the work to maintain your mental health and making sure that you are healthy here.
06:35Because it's so hard to navigate all this because you open yourself up to, you know, all of these strangers following you.
06:45And because you don't put too much out there about, like, who you really are, it leaves a lot of room for these people to make assumptions.
06:54Which, yeah, is partly my fault, too, because I can see how, like, certain things that I post kind of give off a different side of me as to where, like, in person I'm, like, kind of, like, awkward, more, like, introverted.
07:10And, like, online, like, people don't, like, see that about me at all.
07:14They're like, oh, she must be, like, super confident just by, like, the things that I post.
07:17I feel like it's so easy to just, like, post something and, like, be like, oh, whatever.
07:21In person, it's, like, I don't know, I don't think anyone's ever 100% confident.
07:27So it's, like, to have that, like, misconception is, like, I don't think, like, I'm the s*** 24-7.
07:34Wait, I don't know if we can say that, but.
07:37You are, you are the s*** 24-7.
07:41But, yeah, like, I just want people to know that, like, they're not alone.
07:44And, like, I would say that that's, like, the biggest, like, treat for me, like, doing what I do is, like, I've inspired, like, there's a certain, like, group of girls that are younger that have made, like, fan pages of me.
07:58And, like, I adore them so much because they'll talk to me, like, through DM and, like, message me asking me for advice.
08:04And it's, like, they are going through the same thing that I went through, like, being bullied, like, feeling like they're alone, like, their parents don't care.
08:12And it's, like, that's another reason, like, why I get up and I do this every day is because I also want to be a voice for people that feel that way, especially young girls.
08:22Because it's so hard to, like, feel seen and feel heard when you don't have anyone in your corner backing you up.
08:28Like, there's so many times where I've felt so alone.
08:32It's just, I don't want anyone else to feel that way.
08:35I love that you're a role model for these young girls and that that's important to you because I think that even though it's just, like, a small thing, like, being active on your page, even when it's hard for you to be, especially because, like, I know personally what you've been going through online.
08:50I think that you showing up for the people who look up to you is so important.
08:56And I just want to say I'm so proud of you.
08:59Stop. I'm going to cry.
09:00Again. No.
09:02I feel like in society, speaking about mental health, there's still, like, such a big stigma about it.
09:09And so I just want to get your perspective on what you think, like, some misunderstood aspects on mental health are.
09:16The main misconception is, like, people are labeled crazy when they have mental health problems.
09:23And it's, like, just because you don't understand what someone else is going through doesn't mean that their reactions are invalid.
09:29They might just not how, like, not know how to, like, control their reactions to it.
09:34Like, there's so many times where I've been labeled, like, overdramatic or things like that.
09:40And it's, like, I just react differently.
09:43And I know that a lot of other people do, too.
09:45That's the beauty of it.
09:46Like, no one is exactly the same.
09:48And I think that's, like, the main one.
09:50Or that victims of mental health don't deserve the same amount of help.
09:56And it's, like, mental illness is still an illness.
10:01That's why, like, people need that help because they're still sick.
10:05It's just in a different way.
10:07Like, usually when I tell people that I have kidney disease, they're, like, oh, my God.
10:12Like, they freak out.
10:13But if I say, like, oh, I have depression.
10:15Like, I have PTSD.
10:16Like, it's, like, those kind of things.
10:20It's because if you can't see it.
10:21Yeah, if you can't see it, then, you know, it doesn't matter.
10:26But, like, every illness is, you know, the same.
10:28It's, like, I still have to cope every day with all of it.
10:32It's just in different ways.
10:34Yeah, and I think it's, too, like, the invisible struggle.
10:36Because people who see you on your shows and, like, online, they don't see the struggle.
10:43They don't see what you go through and, like, all the ups and downs of this crazy life and career that you're just trying to navigate.
10:54And so I think it can be easy to make judgments without knowing the full picture.
10:59And I think that can be super hard.
11:02Yeah, well, because there's often times where, like, I've thought about, you know, quitting.
11:07So I'm like, oh, I guess that would just be easier.
11:09Like, even two years ago, before I did my first real short, I thought about quitting.
11:15Because I was at a point where I was, like, I just don't want to do this anymore.
11:18Like, I just get overwhelmed by all of it.
11:21And I always feel like I'm not good enough.
11:24But then it's, like, something will happen where it, like, reminds me of that.
11:27And so I've been pushing to keep going.
11:30And that's my message for, like, anyone that watches this.
11:33Like, anything that you're going through, just keep going.
11:36Keep going.
11:37Because it gets better eventually.
11:39Like, you just have to, like, stick around for it.
11:43What advice would you give somebody who's hesitant about seeking therapy just in general?
11:49That it's okay.
11:50That, like, everybody needs it.
11:53Like, everybody could use someone to talk to.
11:55It's nothing to be ashamed of.
11:57I used to think, like, oh, like, therapy is for crazy people.
12:01But, you know, like, that's not true.
12:03That's just, like, the stigma that's behind it.
12:05It's like, oh, like, you need help.
12:08So you should go to therapy.
12:09I think everyone should be in therapy.
12:10Like, because having someone to talk to that won't judge you, that gives an unbiased opinion about your life.
12:18Like, it's extremely helpful.
12:19And it helps you see, like, different perspectives that maybe you didn't.
12:24I mean, therapy saved my life for sure.
12:26And I've been in therapy on and off since I was 18.
12:31And it's just been so beneficial for me personally.
12:34And I just think of therapy as something that helps you get tools to solve your own problems better.
12:41And to navigate the hardships that come through just living a normal life.
12:47And I wish people weren't so judgmental when it comes to getting mental help.
12:52Because I don't think I would be the person that I am today without the mental health journey that I've been through.
12:58What are some things that make you feel good and help you stay mentally healthy?
13:04Oh, I love this question.
13:06And honestly, writing music, I just started doing it again.
13:11It's been a while.
13:12But I got inspired because usually, like, it takes something, like, to, like, snap in me to, like, be able to, like, write again.
13:20Because I feel like writing music is, it comes to you, like, when you're at your lowest.
13:24So, yeah, writing music, singing, writing poetry, those are, like, the main things.
13:29Like, I have, like, five guitars.
13:31So, like, I love, I love playing those.
13:34Even though, like, for a while they were just, like, sitting in my room because I just, I didn't play them for the longest time.
13:39I don't even know why.
13:40It wasn't even, like, oh, like, I'm not going to do it.
13:42It's just.
13:43Life got in the way.
13:44Yeah.
13:45I know.
13:45I was so happy to see that little sneak peek on your story.
13:49I only put it for close friends.
13:51But, yeah, like, I want to start posting more, like, music and stuff like that.
13:56Because that is something that, like, I've missed that I love.
14:00I don't think your fans know how talented you are.
14:02Like, you are so good at singing and I feel like that's something you could definitely share more of because she's amazing.
14:09Hopefully someday I'll put out.
14:12For sure someday.
14:13Not hopefully.
14:14Come on.
14:15An album.
14:16Yes, we're manifesting.
14:18We are.
14:18That's, like, a kind of, like, a dream.
14:20Because I, I don't know.
14:22I know a lot of people that do acting and singing at the same time.
14:25And I don't want to get stuck, like, a certain box.
14:29So it's, like, I want to stick to one thing.
14:31And then when that thing starts, like, going more well, it's, like, I want to, like, venture into the other thing.
14:36I just kind of want to, like, focus on one thing at a time.
14:38But I still do it, like, you know, in my free time.
14:41It's just, like, professionally.
14:43I'm not, like, out here making, like, songs.
14:46Because I'm, like, I'd rather just focus on one thing at once.
14:49Like, it's, yeah, I don't know.
14:50But karaoke on Thursday.
14:52Is that a yes?
14:53Yes.
14:54I'll actually come this time.
14:57Finally.
14:58So tell me more about your songwriting process and how that's therapeutic for you.
15:03Well, usually I do write about heartbreak.
15:06Like, literally, like, all of the music that I've written is about, like, exes of mine.
15:12Or just about, like, guys in general.
15:14So it's, like, that's, like, a common theme.
15:16I feel like every songwriter kind of does that.
15:18No, I feel like all of Taylor Swift's songs, like, isn't that a running joke?
15:22Yeah, yeah.
15:23I was about to say that.
15:24Or, like, the people that, like, have inspired me, like, the most, like, as of recently is, like, Tate McRae or, like, Olivia Rodrigo.
15:33Like, yeah, Olivia Rodrigo is an amazing songwriter.
15:37I love the Driver's License song.
15:39When it first came out, I was like, oh, my God.
15:41Yes, it just hit something.
15:42Yeah, for sure.
15:43Yeah, so.
15:45That's going to be you, though.
15:47Oh, I could only dream to be, like, yeah, as talented because she's, yeah.
15:51You are, though.
15:51She's amazing.
15:52Have you heard yourself?
15:52But, yeah, it just helps me get out all of those, like, heartfelt feelings that I can't express because, you know, I keep a lot of it inside.
16:03And even when I'm on set acting, it's like there's certain things that, like, I can't get out in those scenes that I can while writing songs.
16:10Because, you know, in those scenes, like, yes, I'm expressing a part of myself.
16:14But it's also, like, the character because I try to, like, separate that.
16:19Like, I don't just put all of myself into a character.
16:21I try to separate.
16:22Leave room for the character.
16:23Yeah.
16:23And think about, like, what the character would do instead of, like, what would I do?
16:27Because at that point, it's not really acting.
16:29You're just playing yourself.
16:30And I feel like no shade to people that do that.
16:33But, like, I like to try to make it different as much as I can.
16:37But with songwriting, it's all you.
16:39It's you, your thoughts, your feelings, the heartbreak you felt, like, the good, the bad, all of it, like, wrapped up into one.
16:47I feel like songwriting, too, it's like you're when you're writing the song, like, it's a very private, like, vulnerable thing.
16:54You're kind of with yourself as opposed to acting like you're in front of, like, a whole set's worth of cast and crew.
17:01And so it's a little harder in some ways, I feel like, to get all the way into the depths of that vulnerability that you're talking about.
17:08Whereas when you're in your songwriting process, it's a different space.
17:13So I see what you're saying about that for sure.
17:16Yeah.
17:16It just makes me feel like it's a safe place for me.
17:20Yeah.
17:20And, like, I do feel that way with, like, acting and being on set, too.
17:23But, yeah, music just has always felt so safe for me.
17:28Like, hopefully one day I can be in, like, a musical movie because that'd be so cool.
17:32Like, La La Land or Mamma Mia.
17:34La La Land is, like, one of my favorite films of all time.
17:37It's just so good.
17:39Wicked's also, like, phenomenal.
17:40Oh, my God.
17:41Yeah.
17:41So, like, anything like that would be incredible.
17:44Like, I would cry.
17:45Yeah.
17:46I'm going to manifest.
17:46I could be in a movie like La La Land because, you know, the notes in that weren't that.
17:54They weren't, like, that high.
17:55But, like, yeah, that's a dream of mine.
17:58It's going to happen.
17:59Here's hoping.
18:00Vision board.
18:01I know.
18:01We need to have, like, a vision board night.
18:03I know.
18:03For real.
18:04Yeah.
18:05Need to get on that.
18:06Because everyone says that when you put it out, like, and you can see it and visualize
18:10it every day, like, it will happen.
18:12And I'm like, I need that.
18:14It's going to happen.
18:15I hope so.
18:17So what changes would you like to see in mental health awareness?
18:20I feel like people taking it more seriously and then just not being so judgmental about it.
18:27But, like, I would just like to see more people expressing, like, how they actually feel, like,
18:33even if it's just on social media or, like, in everyday life.
18:36Like, I feel like we're all so scared to say how we feel.
18:38I know recently I've been hiding from my socials because I'm like, I just because it's like
18:44you don't want to feed into negativity.
18:46Right.
18:46But you also want to stick up for yourself.
18:48So it's like a fine line.
18:49And I feel like I've always been the kind of person that would back down.
18:53And it's like, I need to learn how to stick up and fight for myself.
18:56I need to stop letting other people fight my battles for me because I have a habit of
19:00doing that.
19:00Not intentionally, but it's like people just, like, have done that for me.
19:05And I'm like, well, like, I need to learn how to advocate more for myself.
19:08I encourage everyone else to do the same because that's a big, it's a big step for you coming
19:15into your own and, like, honing in your power.
19:17Because you have the power to make anything you want happen.
19:20It's just a matter of, like, getting past what's in here.
19:23Absolutely.
19:23And I really just need to work on that.
19:26I mean, I think it can be so hard to, like, bridge that gap between confronting the feelings
19:33and then the people that you might need to talk to because they're the source.
19:39And just having those tough conversations and being like, look, like, you made me feel this
19:44way.
19:44And then expecting the other person to be in a space where they can receive that and
19:50also take accountability.
19:51Like, it's scary because, like, as hard as it is for us to be able to say the feelings,
19:58if the other person's not in a place where they can receive that and respond in a healthy
20:04way themselves, it can add to the difficulty of having that conversation.
20:11Yeah, I agree.
20:13Thank you so much, Autumn, for joining the Real Talk podcast today.
20:17It has been a pleasure hanging out and talking with you.
20:21I know.
20:22It feels like, yeah, we were just chilling as friends.
20:24I know.
20:25Hanging out at home.
20:26Um, thank you, too.
20:28And yeah, I'm just so happy that I got to come on here and, like, share my side of things
20:34and also say that it's okay to feel a certain way as long as you are at least trying to,
20:41like, you know, get the help that you need.
20:42And you don't have to be ashamed of it either because everybody goes through it.
20:45You have to, like, seek help for yourself because if you don't, like, no one else is going
20:50to try to do that for you, like, you have to put yourself first because at the end of
20:55the day, you only have you.
20:57There are other people that can be around you and support you.
21:00You do have to have that, like, strive for yourself to want to be better and to get better.
21:06And I just think that it's so important to talk about these things because if you don't,
21:11it only gets worse.
21:12If you bottle it up, it's going to stay here.
21:15And it's going to get to the point where, like, you can't, you can't function anymore
21:20because it gets too hard.
21:22And it's like, yeah, I mean, there's so many people that, you know, do watch my shows,
21:27especially, like, younger women and those girls that have, I mean, they've told me that
21:33they felt the same things that I have.
21:35And so it's like, if I can just help a few of those, I'll be happy.
21:40Like, that matters more to me than any, like, negative thing that comes my way because that's
21:46why I've stayed doing this for so long because I just, I don't want people to feel the way
21:50that I felt.
21:51I don't want them to feel alone.
21:52I want them to know that it's okay.
21:54Absolutely.
21:55Yeah.
21:56And to anybody who's watching, I just want to say that getting mental help is one of the
22:01greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.
22:03So before you go, we have a little tradition here on Real Talk, and it would be to use
22:11this camera to take a selfie.
22:13Ooh, cute.
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