- 2 hours ago
Good Girls Gone Wild - Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Oh, my dad.
00:00:38...to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So...
00:00:46...more, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:53So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:58Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:03I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:05I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:08You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:10What?
00:01:10But you can't.
00:01:12I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:15Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:16You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:20This is bad.
00:01:21You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:23She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:50Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:53But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:56I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:00But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:03So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:06Mushrooms?
00:02:07No, not like that.
00:02:08Like something nice.
00:02:10Like maybe a trip.
00:02:12Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:14No.
00:02:14Sorry, Sue.
00:02:17I have a date.
00:02:18Oh, so do I.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:23We'll figure it out.
00:02:35Oh, flowers.
00:02:36Are these from you?
00:02:37Yeah, sure.
00:02:39Here you go.
00:02:41No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:43I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:46I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:52Oh, Jake.
00:02:56Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:59Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:01When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:04The best night of my life.
00:03:05It will be, I promise.
00:03:07It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:13Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:20I have to work on my art project.
00:03:23You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:26but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:29Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:32This Saturday?
00:03:33Of course.
00:03:34Thanks.
00:03:40Okay, bye.
00:03:49Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:03:52Oh, baby.
00:03:53You're so hot.
00:03:54I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:55Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:57What was your name again?
00:03:58Rod.
00:03:59Sex guy.
00:04:00Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:08Yeah, right, I bet.
00:04:16Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20Does not compute.
00:04:22Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:25Oh, huh.
00:04:29Hi.
00:04:31When did you get home?
00:04:33So is it true?
00:04:34Yes, it is.
00:04:35It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:40I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:45and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:47So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:50Lexi, tell her.
00:04:51Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:53we should all face together.
00:04:54On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:57Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:04:59or maybe even, like, our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:05:05Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:12I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:15But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:23We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:26Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:30It's not Jake.
00:05:31It's the male ideal.
00:05:33Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:38Right.
00:05:40Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:42Me and I kind of suck, because I'm not really an artist.
00:05:43Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:46The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:48on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:52I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:55Look, I can go either way.
00:05:57I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:02I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:05Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:07But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:13You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:20Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:22To church, to pray for you.
00:06:25Want to be first in line?
00:06:27I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:29Yeah, me too.
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:41It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:43I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:45Mm-hmm.
00:06:47Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:50It's about sex.
00:06:53Mm-hmm.
00:06:53I mean, not me.
00:06:56I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:59Aw.
00:07:00I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:03Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:05But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:09But there was nothing there.
00:07:13Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:15My best friends.
00:07:17They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:20Okay.
00:07:21Third base.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24No.
00:07:25Like, sex.
00:07:26Like, intercourse.
00:07:27With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:29I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:31If you know what I mean.
00:07:32All the way.
00:07:33Go all the way.
00:07:35Woody?
00:07:36What's it?
00:07:39How could you do this?
00:07:42You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:47What?
00:07:53Yes.
00:07:53Yes.
00:07:54Yes.
00:07:55Run.
00:07:56Run.
00:07:56Home route.
00:07:58Ah.
00:07:59Damn it.
00:08:01Fucking Yankees.
00:08:04Sorry.
00:08:05Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:18What do you have a little consideration?
00:08:31I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:32Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:36I have an announcement to make.
00:08:39I want to do it.
00:08:41Do you hear me?
00:08:42I want to do it.
00:08:44This weekend.
00:08:45On our birthday.
00:08:47Do what?
00:08:48It.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:51Screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:54You know, shagging.
00:08:56Fucking.
00:08:56You do.
00:08:59Uh, but what about all your religious stuff, and, um, what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:05Oh, I got a sign.
00:09:07At church.
00:09:08Really?
00:09:09Well, okay, great.
00:09:12We're all in then.
00:09:13So, we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:09:17Right?
00:09:19Right.
00:09:21I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:30Hey, Frank.
00:09:32Hi, Sue.
00:09:34Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:36I don't know, do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:39Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:40Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:47Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:50Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:54It's for our birthdays.
00:09:55Do you want to come?
00:09:56Do you think he can see at my short?
00:10:06Well, my house looks done.
00:10:12Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:14We finally turn 18.
00:10:15And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:18Well, we better get our beady sleep, because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:21So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:24Jake.
00:10:24And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:26But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:28To pop your chair.
00:10:29It's easy.
00:10:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:33What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:37I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:48My soulmate.
00:10:51Chris?
00:10:53Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:57I mean...
00:10:58What?
00:10:58No, Chris is perfect.
00:11:00He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:03Plus, his name's Chris.
00:11:04It's a sign.
00:11:05Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:11What?
00:11:11He does not.
00:11:13Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:14He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:17With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:21Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:24Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:25I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:38I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:40You're so happy.
00:12:10You're so perfect.
00:12:11You're so perfect.
00:12:40Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:06Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:19Oh, my gosh.
00:13:41They're coming.
00:13:43Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:45Ew, why?
00:13:49It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:51It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:52I'm going to surprise him.
00:13:54You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:56It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:57It's stupid.
00:13:58Just screw him.
00:14:00That's what he wants.
00:14:00That's what all guys want.
00:14:02Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:03Oh, Christ.
00:14:04I'm going to wrap your mouth, too.
00:14:06Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:11You're an idiot, a very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:17Oh, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:24Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:26I love it.
00:14:27Um, you should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:31Very fragile.
00:14:32Yeah.
00:14:32Okay.
00:14:33Set it down.
00:14:34Hurry up.
00:14:38Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:39Yeah.
00:14:39Yeah, I thought so.
00:14:40Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:15:05Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.
00:15:07Nice.
00:15:07Nice.
00:15:09Come on.
00:15:12Check, check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:16Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:19Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:22That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:26And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:29Oh, how did you know?
00:15:31I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:32Oh, yeah.
00:15:33Hi, Lexi.
00:15:38Bosses, such a cutie.
00:15:41Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:43All right, sorry.
00:15:44Are you okay, now?
00:15:45Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:46Okay.
00:15:47See you later.
00:15:47I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:52This is crazy.
00:15:53Come on.
00:15:54Jake.
00:15:55Hi.
00:15:56Hey, Ben.
00:15:57Happy birthday.
00:16:00Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:03What?
00:16:04You want a beer?
00:16:06No.
00:16:11Oh, hon.
00:16:12Yeah.
00:16:13I have your present here.
00:16:17I'll give it to you later when the time's right.
00:16:21He didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:23And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:29Hey, Ralph.
00:16:31We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:33We'll bet.
00:16:37All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:39Hey.
00:16:40Hey.
00:16:41How you doing?
00:16:42How you doing?
00:16:51Check it out!
00:16:53Dare me?
00:16:58Woo-hoo!
00:17:05Look at the girls.
00:17:06Look at the girls.
00:17:09Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:11Are those real?
00:17:12I don't know.
00:17:13Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:14Hey!
00:17:15Ah, dude, move!
00:17:16Come on, lame.
00:17:17Oh, all right.
00:17:18OK.
00:17:19I'll see you guys later.
00:17:20Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:21Aw, the move.
00:17:2220 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:17:24I will be motorboating those titties.
00:17:26Yeah!
00:17:27They're fake anyways.
00:17:29Who cares?
00:17:30OK.
00:17:32I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:33Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:34Here, let me.
00:17:35Joanna, no.
00:17:36Just go enjoy the birdie.
00:17:37What?
00:17:38Open.
00:17:39Hey.
00:17:40Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:41I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:42Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:43I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:44He just, like, disappeared.
00:17:45Are these real?
00:17:46Of course they are.
00:17:47That's so-
00:17:53How come they are?
00:17:54Why don't they start looking?
00:17:56What?
00:17:57Don't stop them.
00:17:58Hey.
00:17:59Do my lips look any plumper?
00:18:00I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:18:01Have you guys seen Jake?
00:18:02I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:18:03He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:04Sigh.
00:18:07Are these real?
00:18:12Of course they are.
00:18:16How come I couldn't have met you before?
00:18:18I don't know. Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:18:20Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:21Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:24Maybe upstairs. I don't know.
00:18:27Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:29That's probably where he went.
00:18:31Go roll.
00:18:35Liquid Courage?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Atta girl.
00:18:41Vodka, cranberry?
00:18:42It's really simple.
00:18:43Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:47I gotta go meet her out.
00:18:49Sue? Are you okay?
00:18:51Sue? Relax.
00:18:54They're just eyes.
00:18:56Okay, nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
00:18:58It's gonna be fine.
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:19:05Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:08No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:10I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:12I'm gonna do it.
00:19:13I'm gonna do this.
00:19:28Good luck.
00:19:31Hey, you can do this.
00:19:33Just act like a slut.
00:19:34Just pretend you're Lux.
00:19:46Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:49Chris.
00:19:51Hi.
00:19:52Can I talk to you?
00:19:54Uh-huh.
00:19:55Um, in private?
00:19:57No.
00:19:57Oh, hey, Lexi.
00:20:11Hey, Lexi.
00:20:12What?
00:20:13Chris.
00:20:15You're so sexy.
00:20:16Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:24And I really want to...
00:20:27Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:28Is that wrong?
00:20:30Sue!
00:20:30What's gotten into you?
00:20:32Nothing.
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I don't know how to do this.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:37Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:40I understand these urges.
00:20:44And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:48Really?
00:20:49You do?
00:20:49I do.
00:20:50I really do.
00:20:52I like you too.
00:20:54Really?
00:20:55You do?
00:20:55I do.
00:20:56I really do.
00:20:58It's just...
00:20:59I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:05Right.
00:21:06Lexi said you were...
00:21:07Jesus.
00:21:08Oh.
00:21:09That man.
00:21:10Of course.
00:21:11What did you think?
00:21:12Oh, nothing.
00:21:14So we can still do this then?
00:21:16Oh, Sue.
00:21:17Sue.
00:21:19You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:21:28him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed
00:21:39over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so
00:21:49sweaty under that hot, hot sun, and I just feel such compassion.
00:21:56I think about those things too.
00:21:58So you understand why I can't do this?
00:22:02Not really.
00:22:03I just find it too hard it is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for
00:22:13us.
00:22:14So...
00:22:15So...
00:22:16I'm going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to totally throw these on.
00:22:18Hey, Ty.
00:22:19Whoa!
00:22:20Have you seen Jake?
00:22:21Uh, no.
00:22:22No.
00:22:23No.
00:22:24All right.
00:22:25Okay.
00:22:26All right.
00:22:27Focus.
00:22:28Focus.
00:22:29Focus.
00:22:30Focus.
00:22:31Focus.
00:22:32Focus.
00:22:33Focus.
00:22:34Focus.
00:22:35Focus.
00:22:36Focus.
00:22:37Focus.
00:22:38Focus.
00:22:39Focus.
00:22:40Oh, there he is.
00:22:43Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:49How could he?
00:22:50Sue?
00:22:51What happened?
00:22:52Did you guys do it?
00:22:53Sue?
00:22:54He doesn't want me.
00:22:55Because he's gay.
00:22:56No, he's not.
00:22:57He just really doesn't want me.
00:22:58No, he's not.
00:22:59He doesn't want me.
00:23:00Because he's gay.
00:23:01No, he's not.
00:23:02He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:03Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:04The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:09you.
00:23:10Look.
00:23:11The only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know who
00:23:12you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know who you're
00:23:13going to find out who you're going to find out who you're going to be.
00:23:14deep inside.
00:23:15What?
00:23:16Come with me.
00:23:17Where?
00:23:18To meet your dark side.
00:23:19loves Jesus. Oh, come on, Sue. The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never
00:23:24a real possibility for you. Look, the only way you're gonna find out what kind of man you really
00:23:30want is to know what kind of woman you really are deep inside. What? Come with me. Where? To meet
00:23:40your dark side. Out. Everyone out. Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:24:10I really can't. I really don't think I can do this. I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:22I'm not letting you out until you look. Sue? Can you see it? Sue? I'm almost... I'm almost there.
00:24:40What? What? Sue, what happened? What did you see? A raccoon? What? You overshot it. Aim the mirror
00:24:53further up. I can't. Please don't make me do that again. Okay, fine. Fine. I didn't want to do this,
00:25:07but you leave me no choice. What? You really need an orgasm. Honestly, I don't know how you expected
00:25:14to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself. This really has
00:25:18to be your first step. Lex, I'm waiting. Coming. Sue, uh, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top
00:25:24drawer. Just find it and use it. Wait, what does the black vibrator look like? It's black. It vibrates.
00:25:31Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room. And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:38Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:53Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Good boy. Straighten up. Good boy. Good boy. He knows over a hundred
00:26:13commands. I'm sorry. I can't see anything. That is not funny, Cheryl. What a bitch. Fortunately,
00:26:22when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:24Oh, shit.
00:26:52Fire. What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:59Nice shot. Direct hit.
00:27:03Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:17Lexi, it's Jake. He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl. For sure?
00:27:24I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:27:28That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:31No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:36It's a text. It's from him. Um, I can't bear myself to read it. Okay. Uh, he's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:49Oh, I can't face him. Um, I have to go. I'm going. No, you can't just leave. Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:00No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again. Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option. Uh, he's looking for you. He wants to give you your-
00:28:11I'm leaving. Revenge sex. Birthday gift. Oh, I can't face him. Um, I have to go. I'm going. No, you can't just leave.
00:28:19Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing's- Reve- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:24It happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him. No. It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:33Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option. I'm leaving. Revenge sex. Reve-
00:28:40I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:45I catch you. It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:55Revenge sex. Reve- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:58It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:29:03But he- I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would- He's just into other girls.
00:29:09Trust me, he'll care. Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:29:18Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:29:22No, I- I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:29:29Eric! He's perfect!
00:29:31Eric Hall? Are you kidding? I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:29:37Really? And what type is that? He's bloody.
00:29:41Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:46Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:50Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:56Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:30:04No, I just couldn't do it. Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:30:11to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:30:17and you chose not to do it, go ahead. But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:24I don't know.
00:30:27But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:31I don't know.
00:30:32Trust me. It's going to work.
00:30:40I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:44Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:45Enough to chat with her.
00:30:46Oh, no.
00:30:58Hey.
00:31:00Happy birthday.
00:31:02Thanks.
00:31:15Have you guys seen Jake?
00:31:29Happy birthday.
00:31:30Happy birthday.
00:31:32Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain? But it's actually from us. U.S.
00:31:46America?
00:31:49United States?
00:31:51I know where we live.
00:31:52Right.
00:31:53Of course.
00:31:57I know where we live.
00:31:59Right.
00:32:00Of course.
00:32:05Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you going to make your move or not?
00:32:07Oh, you want me to move?
00:32:08Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:32:09I just...
00:32:10No.
00:32:11You're fine.
00:32:12Are you the guy?
00:32:13No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:14Fine.
00:32:15If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:32:18to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:26But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:31I don't know.
00:32:33But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:35I don't know.
00:32:37But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:39But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:43I don't know.
00:32:46But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:50I don't know.
00:32:52Trust me. It's going to work.
00:32:59I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:03Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:04Are you okay enough to chat?
00:33:06Oh, no!
00:33:09Hey.
00:33:19Happy birthday.
00:33:21Thanks.
00:33:39Have you guys seen Jake?
00:33:49So, happy birthday.
00:33:55Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:33:59But it's actually from us.
00:34:01U.S.
00:34:02America?
00:34:04United States?
00:34:05I know where we live.
00:34:07Right.
00:34:08Of course.
00:34:09Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:21Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:22Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:34:23I just...
00:34:24No.
00:34:25You're fine.
00:34:26Jake!
00:34:27So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:34:29Oh.
00:34:30I'm sorry.
00:34:31It?
00:34:32Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:35What, um...
00:34:36It.
00:34:37Get real nasty.
00:34:38Oh!
00:34:39Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:40What, um...
00:34:41It.
00:34:42Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:44Get real nasty.
00:34:45Oh!
00:34:46Oh!
00:34:47You mean, like, uh...
00:34:48Right now?
00:34:49I mean, well...
00:34:51Yeah.
00:34:51Well, it's a big one.
00:34:53Is it...
00:34:54Oh!
00:34:55Get real nasty?
00:34:56I mean, like, mo**-
00:34:58I'm sorry...
00:35:11Right now, I mean well, yeah, you know the sooner the better
00:35:17Yeah, sure. I mean yeah, of course, I just never realized that you I mean
00:35:27It's just
00:35:30You're so
00:35:32You're so beautiful
00:35:36No, Cassine
00:35:38Right, um, of course
00:35:40Sorry
00:35:43So, um
00:35:46Do you wanna unwrap me? Oh wow
00:35:50You're wrapped up like a hot pocket or leftover macaroni and cheese
00:35:54Now that you left over you're not
00:35:56Yeah, you're fresh
00:36:00Now that you left over you're not
00:36:02Yeah, you're fresh
00:36:04Organic
00:36:06Yep
00:36:08So the wrap
00:36:10Right
00:36:12Um, where's the uh
00:36:14It's uh, the end that I just like right over here
00:36:16Oh, oh yeah, here it is
00:36:17Yeah
00:36:17That's where I see it, um, let me just uh
00:36:19Uh
00:36:21Ow, ow, ow
00:36:22Sorry, sorry, sorry, I, um
00:36:25It's, it's okay
00:36:26Here, do it again
00:36:27Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails so it's a little difficult
00:36:31You know what, let me just lay on the bed
00:36:33You know what, let me just lay on the bed
00:36:35Okay
00:36:40Uh, let me just see
00:36:43Oh, here it is, I got it
00:36:45All right, this is him
00:36:46United States
00:36:47Uh, I know where we live
00:36:49Right
00:36:50Of course
00:36:51Uh, I know where we live
00:36:52Right
00:36:53Of course
00:36:54Uh, I know where we live
00:36:55Right
00:36:56Of course
00:36:57Hold it
00:36:58Oh, let me just
00:36:59Ah
00:37:00Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you gonna make your move or not?
00:37:02Oh, you want me to move?
00:37:03Yeah, no, I can totally move, I just
00:37:04No, you're fine
00:37:06No
00:37:07No
00:37:08Oh, jeez, uh, Cheryl, are you, you okay?
00:37:10Uh
00:37:11Jake
00:37:29Uh
00:37:34So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:37:38Oh, I'm sorry. It?
00:37:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:43What, um...
00:37:45It. Like, monkey bonin' and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:37:50Get real nasty.
00:37:52Oh! Oh, you mean, like, uh...
00:37:55Oh, geez.
00:37:57Eric. Right now?
00:38:00I mean, well, yeah. You know, the sooner the better.
00:38:03Yeah, sure. I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:38:07Um, I just never realized that you...
00:38:10I mean...
00:38:12Whew. Uh...
00:38:15It's just...
00:38:17You're so...
00:38:20You're so beautiful.
00:38:24Okay. Um...
00:38:26Uh, no cuisine.
00:38:28Right. Um, of course. Sorry?
00:38:32Well, that was stupid.
00:38:37So, um...
00:38:39Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:38:42Oh, wow. Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:38:45Or leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:38:47Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:49You're, uh...
00:38:50You're fresh.
00:38:51Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:52You're fresh.
00:38:53Organic.
00:38:54Yeah.
00:38:55Yep.
00:38:56So, the wrap.
00:38:57Right.
00:38:58Um...
00:38:59Well, where's the, uh...
00:39:00It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:39:04Oh, oh, yeah. Here it is.
00:39:05Yeah.
00:39:06I see it. Um, let me just, uh...
00:39:07Uh...
00:39:08Ow, ow, ow.
00:39:09Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. I, um...
00:39:10It's...
00:39:11It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:39:15Oh, oh, yeah. Here it is.
00:39:16Yeah.
00:39:17I see it. Um, let me just, uh...
00:39:19Ow, ow, ow.
00:39:20Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. I, um...
00:39:21It's... It's okay. Here. Do it again.
00:39:26Sorry, I, uh...
00:39:27I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:39:29You know what? Let me just lay on the bed.
00:39:33How are you doing tonight?
00:39:35Okay.
00:39:36Having a good time?
00:39:37Yeah.
00:39:38You're good.
00:39:39Jake!
00:39:43Uh...
00:39:44Let me just see...
00:39:45Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:39:46Alright, just, um, pull it.
00:39:48Oh, let me just...
00:39:49Oh, jeez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:39:51You okay?
00:39:52Help me! Help!
00:39:53Uh...
00:39:54Uh...
00:39:55Oh, let me just...
00:39:56Oh, jeez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:39:58You okay?
00:39:59Help me! Help!
00:40:00Uh...
00:40:01Uh...
00:40:02Uh...
00:40:05I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:07What?
00:40:08Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:40:09Oh, jeez.
00:40:18Well, that was stupid.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:22That's...
00:40:23I can't hear you.
00:40:30How you doing tonight?
00:40:31You having a good time?
00:40:32Yeah?
00:40:33Good?
00:40:34Jake!
00:40:35I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:37What?
00:40:38I can't hear you.
00:40:40Another beer.
00:40:41Chips are so damn salty.
00:40:47Hold on.
00:40:48Take a piss.
00:40:49Jake!
00:40:50Up...stairs.
00:40:52Yeah.
00:40:53Hold on.
00:40:54Take a piss.
00:40:55Too much beer.
00:40:56Too much beer.
00:40:57Oh!
00:40:58Oh!
00:40:59Oh!
00:41:00Ah!
00:41:01Ah!
00:41:02Ah!
00:41:03Ah!
00:41:04Ah!
00:41:05Ah!
00:41:06Ah!
00:41:07Ah!
00:41:08Finally.
00:41:09I, uh...
00:41:10...
00:41:12Why don't you get the blinds?
00:41:13Oh no no no, no no no.
00:41:15Um...
00:41:16Don't worry about it.
00:41:17What?
00:41:18Finally, I uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:41:28Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:30Um, don't worry about it.
00:41:32What?
00:41:33I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:41:37Oh.
00:41:39Well, okay.
00:41:40Okay.
00:41:48Finally.
00:42:01I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:42:13Finally.
00:42:14I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:42:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:19Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:42:21What?
00:42:22I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:42:26Oh.
00:42:28Well, okay.
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:47What are you doing?
00:42:48Uh.
00:42:49Uh.
00:42:50I think it's time.
00:42:51You know.
00:42:52Uh.
00:42:53Uh.
00:42:54Uh.
00:42:55Uh.
00:42:56Uh.
00:42:57Uh.
00:42:58Uh.
00:42:59Uh.
00:43:00Uh.
00:43:01Uh.
00:43:02Uh.
00:43:03Uh.
00:43:04Uh.
00:43:05Uh.
00:43:06Uh.
00:43:07Uh.
00:43:08Uh.
00:43:09Uh.
00:43:10Uh.
00:43:11Uh.
00:43:12Uh.
00:43:13Uh.
00:43:14Uh.
00:43:15Uh.
00:43:16Uh.
00:43:17Uh.
00:43:18Uh.
00:43:19Uh.
00:43:20to do it um not yet more foreplay huh oh
00:43:35oh yeah so good oh yep oh my god draw draw draw what what what
00:43:49ah oh ah lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing i don't know ah are you okay
00:44:03no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just uh embarrassed it's probably tmj or fracture or swollen
00:44:13you sure you're okay yeah yeah i'm fine okay great have fun
00:44:25now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:31now
00:44:36all right i'm gonna come now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:39oh i'm gonna come i'm gonna come are you ready no no no no no no no no
00:44:51no no no not yet
00:44:59no means no huh oh i'm so sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's been a really long
00:45:04and I just, I haven't used a mask, raised for her, or anything.
00:45:10Uh-oh.
00:45:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:45:16How are you doing?
00:45:18How's it going? Good.
00:45:19Eric?
00:45:21Come, Eric, help me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:45:25Excuse me.
00:45:29Cheryl's in here.
00:45:35What's up, bro?
00:45:37What the fuck is...
00:45:40Hey, wait!
00:45:42Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:45:50Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:45:54Damn it.
00:45:58Hey, you!
00:46:00You better stop making fun of-
00:46:01I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:46:04Hey, you!
00:46:06You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:46:10Help!
00:46:12I'm so sorry!
00:46:13I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:46:16Ah!
00:46:34Oh, man, no more water balloons!
00:46:35This party's ass!
00:46:36Yeah!
00:46:37Yeah!
00:46:38This just isn't working.
00:46:39Nothing.
00:46:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:46:43Lock it carefully, man!
00:46:44The lock sticks!
00:46:45Spark it up!
00:46:46Yes!
00:46:47All right!
00:46:48Yes!
00:46:49Oh, man!
00:46:50Oh, man!
00:46:51No more water balloons!
00:46:52This party's ass!
00:46:56Yeah!
00:46:57Oh, man!
00:46:58Oh, man!
00:46:59Oh, man!
00:47:00Oh, man!
00:47:01I love this game!
00:47:02We need the controllers!
00:47:03Here, here, here, here, here!
00:47:04Okay, let me find another one.
00:47:05All right!
00:47:06Watch out!
00:47:07Woo!
00:47:08Look at this!
00:47:09Oh, my God!
00:47:10Fuel!
00:47:11Fuel!
00:47:12Fuel!
00:47:13Fuel!
00:47:14Oh, my God!
00:47:15Oh, my God!
00:47:16Oh, my God!
00:47:17Oh, my God!
00:47:18Oh, my God!
00:47:19Oh, my God!
00:47:20Oh, my God!
00:47:21Oh, my God!
00:47:22Oh, my God!
00:47:23Oh, my God!
00:47:24Fuel!
00:47:25Fuel!
00:47:26Oh, man!
00:47:27Get that thing away!
00:47:28Jesus!
00:47:29Get that thing away!
00:47:30Jesus!
00:47:31Let him away!
00:47:32Jesus!
00:47:33Oh!
00:47:34Oh!
00:47:35Hey, dude!
00:47:36Nice shot!
00:47:37What the hell?
00:47:38It wasn't me!
00:47:39Whoa!
00:47:40Whoa!
00:47:41Nice!
00:47:42Whoa!
00:47:43Oh, my God!
00:47:44Whoa!
00:47:45Whoa!
00:47:46Whoa!
00:47:47Whoa!
00:47:48Whoa!
00:47:49Whoa!
00:47:50Whoa!
00:47:51Whoa!
00:47:53Whoa!
00:47:54Are you sitting in there or something?
00:47:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice, nice.
00:48:13Do you have the extra controller?
00:48:25Whoa!
00:48:27You are the controller.
00:48:29No, I just...
00:48:31I didn't, I swear, I...
00:48:44Hey, Sue.
00:48:46What are you going, man?
00:48:49It's okay, um, hey, Sue.
00:48:54Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:49:03Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:49:06Oh, sure.
00:49:08Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:49:13You were?
00:49:14You mean...
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:20So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:22Could we...
00:49:24Wow, um, your toilet's...
00:49:30Go get a drink?
00:49:34Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:49:37Oh, you...
00:49:38You know what? I gotta go.
00:49:43Um, happy birthday.
00:49:44Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:49:45I didn't...
00:49:46Oh, God, never mind.
00:49:47This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:05This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:08Never going to have sex.
00:50:10Sex.
00:50:11Ow.
00:50:12Hello? A little attention here.
00:50:37Hello? A little attention here.
00:50:39Lex.
00:51:07Go.
00:51:08Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:51:15Lex.
00:51:17Go.
00:51:23Be selfish.
00:51:24All right.
00:51:25Sorry.
00:51:26Be selfish.
00:51:27All right.
00:51:28Sorry.
00:51:29All right.
00:51:30Oh, jeez.
00:51:43Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:46Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:49Screw it.
00:51:49It's good.
00:52:16Oh.
00:52:17Oh.
00:52:17Oh, God.
00:52:44No.
00:52:45That was bad.
00:52:46That was...
00:52:48That was...
00:52:49So bad.
00:53:07Joanna?
00:53:08Do you know a guy named...
00:53:10Do you know a guy named JJ?
00:53:13I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:53:19Hey!
00:53:20Does your name start with a J?
00:53:23Yes, it does.
00:53:25So you're JJ?
00:53:26Uh-oh.
00:53:27That was a joke.
00:53:28Come on.
00:53:29Come on.
00:53:30Yes, I'm completely concerned.
00:53:31Come on.
00:53:32Breeze at the...
00:53:33Welcome to 1900 confess.
00:53:34Would you like a...
00:53:48Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:54:01A nun.
00:54:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:54:08Please hold.
00:54:10Oh, my goodness.
00:54:141-900-CONFESSION. How may I be of service?
00:54:17Confession.
00:54:18Confession. How may I be of service?
00:54:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:54:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:54:32One day.
00:54:41Is that too long?
00:54:43I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:54:45Go on.
00:54:46Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:54:51Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:54:53What's her problem?
00:54:55A washing machine touched me.
00:54:56All right, freak. Time's up.
00:55:03What? But what do I do?
00:55:05Just...
00:55:05You know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:08All right, freak. Time's up.
00:55:10What? But what do I do?
00:55:11Just unplug the thing.
00:55:12No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:17Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:55:20I'm serious.
00:55:23Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:26All right, freak. Time's up.
00:55:28What? But what do I do?
00:55:30Just unplug the thing.
00:55:32No, but... But I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:35Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:55:39I'm serious.
00:55:39Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:55:43I'll tell you this.
00:55:46Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:55:48No contritions?
00:55:50You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:55:54So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:55:57Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:56:00Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:56:03Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:56:06Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:56:07Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:56:11He sure is. Now run along.
00:56:16Wow. How do you know all that?
00:56:20Because I'm a nun.
00:56:21Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:56:33Accidental masturbation. Who'd have thunk?
00:56:37Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:00Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:02Oh, God. I'm getting out of here.
00:57:09I guess I just get everything I guess I'm a few.
00:57:13Yeah, admit it.
00:57:14I've got no game.
00:57:16I guess I just get everything I guess I'm a few.
00:57:20Fucking douchebag.
00:57:23No, I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:57:29You go, girl.
00:57:31What?
00:57:33What are you doing here?
00:57:35We needed someplace private.
00:57:37But hey, listen.
00:57:38If you're serious about getting laid.
00:57:40Yeah?
00:57:41If you want someone great.
00:57:42I mean, really, the best ever.
00:57:46No offense.
00:57:48Frank, the blind guy?
00:57:50Really?
00:57:51I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:57:55I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:57:57It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:58:00It was like we used all our senses.
00:58:03Everything.
00:58:06If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:58:08All right.
00:58:22What about him?
00:58:23Jeremy.
00:58:24Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:58:26Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:28I didn't know his last name, though.
00:58:31It's Jones.
00:58:33Jeremy Jones.
00:58:34This all makes sense.
00:58:36Excuse me.
00:58:38Jeremy.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:41Who's on the phone?
00:58:42Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:58:44You'll meet her.
00:58:45I'll have to be here in like an hour.
00:58:46Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:59:01Oh.
00:59:02Hi, Frank.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:08Sit.
00:59:08Oh, you meant...
00:59:09You meant the dog.
00:59:13Relax.
00:59:15You need to relax and calm down.
00:59:16Oh, I'm...
00:59:27I'm...
00:59:27Oh, I'm...
00:59:33I'm relaxed.
00:59:34I'm fine.
00:59:35Why are you biting your nail?
00:59:36I'm biting your nail.
00:59:37I'm not.
00:59:41How did you know that?
00:59:42Corner.
00:59:43Corner.
00:59:44Corner.
00:59:48Sit.
00:59:50Roll over.
00:59:54Oh, you mean me.
00:59:58Roll over.
01:00:03Oh, you mean me.
01:00:06Roll over.
01:00:08Oh, you mean me.
01:00:13Oh, how do you...
01:00:14How do you want me to...
01:00:16Just lay down.
01:00:17You want me to...
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:25Oh.
01:00:29Oh.
01:00:29I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
01:00:32But considering it a teachable moment.
01:00:35Okay.
01:00:39Oh.
01:00:42See me with your hands.
01:00:47All right.
01:00:48Uh...
01:00:48You know, I should really...
01:00:56I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
01:00:58Really.
01:01:02Oh.
01:01:11Mmm, peanut butter.
01:01:18Oh.
01:01:19Oh.
01:01:19Oh.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:21Oh.
01:01:21Oh.
01:01:22Oh.
01:01:22Oh.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:24Oh.
01:01:24Oh.
01:01:25Oh.
01:01:25Oh.
01:01:26Oh.
01:01:26Oh.
01:01:32Oh, Frank.
01:01:33Frank.
01:01:33Frank.
01:01:34Frank.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:38Oh, Frank.
01:01:56Oh.
01:01:57Oh.
01:02:05Oh.
01:02:06Yeah.
01:02:06Oh.
01:02:07Oh.
01:02:07Oh.
01:02:08Oh.
01:02:08My
01:02:11No, man, give me two my chips, oh boy. Oh, give me two my chips
01:02:18Don't match it
01:02:21My chips guys, why are you making such a mess? Sorry?
01:02:34It's just a case of accidental masturbation
01:02:38Come on, let me do this. Go ahead. I got it. No, I got it. No, really please. I want to help
01:02:49Okay, everybody out leave I have to back you
01:02:53You're not even getting the chips. They're over here. I see some dust over here
01:03:12So
01:03:14It's just so much dust on this floor
01:03:18It's a dirty floor
01:03:20Such a dirty
01:03:22Dirty
01:03:24Dirty floor
01:03:26that school
01:03:32honey
01:03:33oh
01:03:34oh
01:03:36oh
01:03:36oh
01:03:37oh
01:03:37oh
01:03:38oh
01:03:39oh
01:03:39oh
01:03:39oh
01:03:40oh
01:03:42Okay
01:03:43oh
01:03:45ugh
01:03:45Oh
01:03:46All right
01:03:47I'm just going to
01:03:48See how
01:03:49Oh, Frankie.
01:04:01Oh, my.
01:04:02What was that?
01:04:03What?
01:04:04Ow, fucking shit.
01:04:06Man, we got to smoke.
01:04:07Oh, we can smoke in here.
01:04:10Stop.
01:04:11Frank, stop teasing Frank.
01:04:13Oh, shit.
01:04:15Sorry, man.
01:04:16We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
01:04:18All right, I heard something.
01:04:19You want to join us?
01:04:20Uh, no, I'm not sure.
01:04:21Come on, you got to do it.
01:04:23Come on.
01:04:24Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
01:04:25Where's your dog, man?
01:04:25Dude, what's it like being blinded?
01:04:27It's tripping.
01:04:32Frank?
01:04:34Frank, are we going to do something soon?
01:04:38Bro, you are too funny.
01:04:42Thanks, man.
01:04:43Oh, this is some good stuff.
01:04:45I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:04:46Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:04:49Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:04:50I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:04:54Damn, I really can't remember.
01:04:56This is some good shit.
01:04:57Oh, no, you're the devil.
01:05:04No more.
01:05:05JJ, I'm Jeremy.
01:05:10You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:05:27Please.
01:05:28Lex, I can't.
01:05:30I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:05:33I really like this girl.
01:05:34Fine.
01:05:35It's just so sad, because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties,
01:05:43with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:05:48Oh.
01:05:49Oh.
01:05:52Ah.
01:05:53We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:05:56Perfect.
01:06:01Before she gets here.
01:06:02Perfect.
01:06:03Oh, yeah.
01:06:03I gotta do it.
01:06:04Let's do it.
01:06:05Fuck me.
01:06:06Fuck me now.
01:06:14What?
01:06:15What's wrong?
01:06:16I can't.
01:06:17I can't get it in.
01:06:18Just try down there.
01:06:19It's like a desert down there.
01:06:20It's sandpaper, which is like...
01:06:22Okay, I get the picture.
01:06:23It's like a cat.
01:06:24I can't get it in.
01:06:25I can't get it in.
01:06:26I can't get it in.
01:06:27I can't get it down there.
01:06:29I can't get it in.
01:06:30I can't get it in.
01:06:31I get the picture! Just try it again.
01:06:36No! Why is this happening?
01:06:39We fooled around before.
01:06:40I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
01:06:43Just do what you did then. Go on.
01:06:45I already did my thing. I already tried.
01:06:49What? What is different this time?
01:06:52I don't know.
01:06:54Last time...
01:06:55I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:07:00What?
01:07:01You're not JJ?
01:07:03But your name is Jeremy Jones!
01:07:05How can you not be JJ?
01:07:07Who the hell is this JJ?
01:07:10Where are you going? We're not done here.
01:07:13I can still do this. I just need a little bit of work.
01:07:15I can do this. I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else.
01:07:19We can do this.
01:07:22Go team.
01:07:26What? Just keep going!
01:07:28I can do this.
01:07:32Jeremy?
01:07:33Shit!
01:07:36Jeremy!
01:07:43Where's Jeremy?
01:07:44We were just...
01:07:46We were just...
01:07:47You know...
01:07:49Hey babe!
01:07:50Just working out!
01:07:55How could you? You bastard!
01:08:00You might wanna...
01:08:01What?
01:08:02What?
01:08:03What?
01:08:07Ah!
01:08:08Mariela!
01:08:10Mariela!
01:08:11You know those aren't mine!
01:08:13At least not all of them.
01:08:16What is wrong with you?
01:08:17You used to be so pure.
01:08:18Well, no more. That's it.
01:08:19Really, that's the last one.
01:08:22What is wrong with you?
01:08:24You used to be so pure.
01:08:26Well, no more. That's it.
01:08:27Really, that's the last one.
01:08:28Really, that's the last one.
01:08:29Last one.
01:08:43Come on, man.
01:08:44Oh, my God.
01:09:02Cheryl?
01:09:06What is it?
01:09:07What are you doing down here?
01:09:09Yeah.
01:09:10Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here?
01:09:14What?
01:09:15Why?
01:09:16Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:09:20Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:09:23No, it's not okay.
01:09:25God.
01:09:27And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:28I'm sorry.
01:09:29It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
01:09:32That blind, cheating bastard.
01:09:34Yes.
01:09:35He is such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
01:09:37Yeah.
01:09:39Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:09:40I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
01:09:43Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:09:45You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:09:48Yeah, a big piece.
01:09:49A big old chunk of my mind.
01:09:51A big piece of it.
01:09:52Yeah.
01:09:54You know, you might wanna...
01:09:56You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:09:58Yeah, you're right.
01:10:00We're wearing a sheet.
01:10:02Oh.
01:10:08I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm sorry.
01:10:11I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:10:16I got no game.
01:10:24It's not important.
01:10:25Hey, um...
01:10:26Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:10:39No, no, no.
01:10:40I really need to talk to you.
01:10:41Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:10:43No, no, no, no.
01:10:44I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it up to you.
01:10:50Eric, really?
01:10:51I don't care.
01:10:52It's fine.
01:10:53No, but I do.
01:10:54I mean, I do.
01:10:55I care.
01:10:57I haven't known how to tell you.
01:10:59Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:11:02But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:11:08Sometime.
01:11:10Soon.
01:11:11Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.
01:11:14Really?
01:11:15Eric, you're shy.
01:11:16You have no game.
01:11:17No, not really.
01:11:18Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:11:19Sorry.
01:11:20Okay.
01:11:21Alright.
01:11:22I, uh...
01:11:23Happy birthday, then.
01:11:24I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:26I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:28I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:31I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:54Wow.
01:12:06Here I come, baby.
01:12:08Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:12:12Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:12:16Oh, don't worry.
01:12:17Not again.
01:12:18Oh, no, um...
01:12:19Honey, happy...
01:12:21The fuck is this?
01:12:23Who the hell are you, dude?
01:12:24Okay, guys, don't.
01:12:29Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:12:33Aw, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:12:36I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:12:39Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:12:41You couldn't find me?
01:12:42What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:12:45or your penis getting sucked?
01:12:48Cheryl, honey.
01:12:49No, no.
01:12:50We can work this out.
01:12:51Baby, I love you.
01:12:52I love you.
01:12:53Jake, no, you have to go.
01:12:54Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:12:55No.
01:12:56I promise.
01:12:57No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:12:58I'm sorry.
01:12:59Oh, Cheryl, come on.
01:13:00No, Jake, please, just go, just go.
01:13:02I'm sorry.
01:13:03You're a harmless bitch!
01:13:05How can you do...
01:13:07Yay!
01:13:08You did it.
01:13:09I am so proud of you.
01:13:10You got your revenge sex.
01:13:11You've left him in your shell of a man.
01:13:13Oh.
01:13:14Revenge sex?
01:13:15It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:13:19Right.
01:13:20It all makes sense now.
01:13:23Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:13:26Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:13:29Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:13:32And you used me.
01:13:34Eric, please don't go.
01:13:36Please, Eric!
01:13:37Aren't you happy?
01:13:40Well, no, that's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:13:44You mean the sex?
01:13:46Was it?
01:13:47Yeah.
01:13:48No, we didn't quite do it.
01:13:49Oh.
01:13:50You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:13:52Really?
01:13:53I just never found the right guy.
01:13:54Or guys.
01:13:56Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:13:58People are starting to leave.
01:13:59I wonder how Sue did.
01:14:07I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:14:13This is bullshit!
01:14:14God!
01:14:15Oh!
01:14:16Oh!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:19Suck it!
01:14:20What the?
01:14:21God, I'm out of here!
01:14:23Yeah!
01:14:24He has good hair, though.
01:14:29Don't you puke on me.
01:14:31Don't puke on my car, either.
01:14:33Right, set, break, dot.
01:14:35I might need a vacation.
01:14:40Take this information through your head.
01:14:45Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:14:48Was it from sex?
01:14:50Did you pop your cork?
01:14:51I don't think so.
01:14:52Not with the guy, anyway.
01:14:54Oh, don't ask.
01:14:55Every possible object.
01:14:57It's like every mechanical thing.
01:14:59It was like Transformers.
01:15:01They just all became vibrators.
01:15:03Ha!
01:15:04I told you.
01:15:05It's addicting.
01:15:08So what about Chris?
01:15:09Well, last time I saw him,
01:15:10he was running away through your life.
01:15:12I told you he was gay.
01:15:13Oh.
01:15:14Well, I think I'm just...
01:15:15Oh, cramp.
01:15:19Oh.
01:15:20I think it's broken.
01:15:21So wait.
01:15:23None of us cashed an RV card.
01:15:29Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:15:30So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:15:33Wanna go?
01:15:34No.
01:15:36I think I should finish up here.
01:15:38Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:15:40No.
01:15:42I don't know.
01:15:43For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:15:47Or something.
01:15:48Why?
01:15:49Do you know him?
01:15:50Sort of.
01:15:51Oh.
01:15:52Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:15:53just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:15:55I'd like to see him again.
01:16:02Love him.
01:16:03Shut it.
01:16:04You wanna do it with him?
01:16:05I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:16:06You wanna get married?
01:16:07You wanna do it with him?
01:16:08Oh, snap.
01:16:09Um, no, no way.
01:16:39Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:17:09It's you.
01:17:16I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:17:24I've been waiting for you.
01:17:31I've been waiting for you.
01:17:39I've been waiting for you.
01:17:46I've been waiting for you.
01:17:53I've been waiting for you.
01:17:59I've been waiting for you.
01:18:05I've been waiting for you.
01:18:16I've been waiting for you.
01:18:20I've been waiting for you.
01:18:26wow that's amazing yeah i didn't know i had it in me i guess something inspired me
01:18:44he really captured his expression and his eyes yeah even that little callic he has in his hair
01:18:51who's eric's it's him right
01:18:59oh yeah i have to go see him
01:19:08well i think you know what we should do
01:19:18one nine hundred confess sister terese yeah hon um there was a problem with your credit card i
01:19:29just need the last three numbers in the back oh sure oh it's two seven one um sister i know this
01:19:37isn't a confession but can i ask your opinion on something do you think if you do something bad
01:19:42that god will forgive you take you back sure hon why why not as long as you're on the right path
01:19:52well how do you know if you're on that path i always look for some kind of sign
01:19:56from the universe something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay sister can i get up now
01:20:04i really gotta pee no hush your trap okay honey i really need to get back to work but call back
01:20:13anytime i will thanks
01:20:16sister shut up or i'll punish you hard you sheep
01:20:35um look i am so sorry cheryl
01:20:52eric um look i am so sorry about everything i was trying to have revenge
01:20:58sex with you at the beginning but then at the end
01:21:04do that with you the revenge part not the sex part um and i wasn't i just didn't want to do that with
01:21:13you the revenge part not the sex part um i i do want to go out with you and i didn't realize that
01:21:24until this morning i mean you're a completely different guy than jake is and he's all over
01:21:29these eric come on i gotta get going oh wow um cheryl uh this is my sister tina tina cheryl
01:21:41hi nice to meet you
01:21:42uh so um do you mind if i call you in a few days when i get back yeah sure
01:21:58oh sorry no kissing right no kissing oh
01:22:12hey did you ever uh get those flowers i sent you
01:22:24i don't even care that you hooked up a plexi wait what i never did that
01:22:30i mean you don't have to lie about it she told me all about your pierced tongue
01:22:33she must have me mixed up with someone else i wonder who it was
01:22:54i mean if you could just i don't know like send me a sign
01:23:24that you don't have to lie about it it's her fault
01:23:27i agree with her
01:23:28excuse me excuse me do you know where the church is it's on fountain street
01:23:58um yeah that's the church i go to or used to go to um it's straight up that way and then left
01:24:05thank you you're more than welcome to come with me if you like oh um i don't know
01:24:13well that's pretty powerful oh 250 horsepower 225 pounds of torque
01:24:28like i said you're more than welcome to thork like i said you're more than welcome to hop on
01:24:33i don't think so but thanks what's your name sue what's yours jesus really si
01:24:45maybe i could use the ride
01:24:49oh
01:24:51oh
01:24:56oh
01:25:01oh
01:25:08oh
01:25:10oh
01:25:17oh
01:25:19oh
01:25:21oh
01:25:28oh
01:25:30oh
01:25:32oh
01:25:39oh
01:25:41oh
01:25:42oh
01:25:43oh
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