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00:00Merry Christmas, Mr. A.
00:19Merry Christmas, Mr. CEO.
00:21Congratulations on your $14 billion dollar market valuation.
00:24Bravo!
00:30You sure you won't take the jet, sir?
00:40You're CEO of a multi-billion dollar company.
00:42This truck is just...
00:44Nothing wrong with a road trip.
00:45I want to keep it a surprise.
00:47I'm gonna go home for Christmas with my wife
00:49and tell her who I really am.
01:00Big City Company, Maple Tech, is coming to our town to build a mall.
01:07Bring everyone jobs.
01:09Don't y'all forget, as mayor, I'm the one that made this happen.
01:13I am putting our town on the map.
01:16Maple Tech's CEO, Mr. A, did those things.
01:20He built the company from scratch.
01:22He is bringing jobs.
01:25Yes.
01:26And as mayor, I brought Maple Tech here.
01:29And its mysterious CEO.
01:31Me.
01:32When do we get to meet the CEO?
01:34He'll be here tomorrow.
01:35And I'm gonna throw him a big ol' welcome party
01:37where he will finally reveal his identity to me.
01:40To us.
01:41Mom, I can't wait to see Daddy.
01:44Get here soon.
01:45Come on.
01:47Jane?
01:48Jane Reynolds?
01:50You look as stunning as you did in high school.
01:53You're not still married to that punching bag loser, Eddie, are you?
02:01My dad's not a loser.
02:04Oh, darling.
02:06When we were in high school, your daddy was a big-time loser.
02:13He was going nowhere with his life.
02:15Which is why he skipped town and left you and your mom in shame.
02:18Making fun of a little girl at Christmas time.
02:25Are you sure you're this town's mayor or just its local Scrooge?
02:29And the mall looks great, y'all.
02:31You really didn't have to do all this for me.
02:33It's Mr. Andrews, our CEO.
02:35That's the Maple Tech CEO.
02:37He's a day early.
02:39I am so sorry, sir.
02:43We were not expecting you until tomorrow.
02:45Um, but let me be the first to say this.
02:47Daddy, help!
02:48The loser Eddie Andrews.
03:02Can't possibly be the Maple Tech CEO.
03:07False alarm, everyone!
03:09It's not the CEO.
03:11It's a deadbeat loser that I used to beat up in high school.
03:14Jane, I know I've been gone for far too long.
03:19But I've been working.
03:21I'm just glad you're home.
03:23Make sure you come back tomorrow, where we will welcome a man who is exactly the opposite
03:30of Eddie.
03:31A real man!
03:32A rich man!
03:33A CEO!
03:34The CEOs, right?
03:37Duncan, don't tell me you're still jealous that Jane picked me over you.
03:42Son of a-
03:43Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna kiss my wife and take her home.
03:48My family's home, my baby.
04:03Sir, when are you going to reveal to these people that you're CEO?
04:08Soon.
04:09But I want to spend Christmas with my family and tell them first.
04:13Yes, sir.
04:14That's the CEO.
04:16He's hot.
04:17Hey!
04:18Woo-hoo-hoo!
04:19We're just so glad you're here.
04:20It's been so hard being apart for so long.
04:21Well, I am never, ever going to leave my family ever again.
04:22Okay?
04:23Well, well, well.
04:24Deadbeat husband and father finally returns.
04:40The only thing this family wants for Christmas is for you to get out of our lives.
04:46Divorce Jane now.
04:49Mom, what are you doing?
04:51What you should have done years ago.
04:53Your husband was a loser back then, and he clearly still is.
04:57Sasha, don't listen to them.
04:59Dad, tell Mom that she was being crazy.
05:04Eddie, Maple Tech came this Christmas.
05:06All the real men in town got great jobs.
05:09You're still a loser.
05:11Hey.
05:12Shame!
05:14Princess?
05:15Don't listen to your grandma, okay?
05:17She's just tired.
05:18Tired of you?
05:19You worthless.
05:20Can you not take that tone in front of my daughter?
05:23I'm teaching her manners and respect.
05:25Respect?
05:26Respect this family by leaving it.
05:29Sign the divorce papers.
05:32No.
05:33It's okay.
05:34I'll read it.
05:35Please.
05:36You can probably barely read.
05:39Our lawyer spent days on this.
05:41You can't comprehend it.
05:43You know what?
05:44I may just be a small town boy, but even I can see this document is rather flawed.
05:49You don't know anything about the laws.
05:52I'm going to get our lawyer on the phone to rip you a new one.
05:55He's so good, he does contracts for Maple Tech.
05:59Bob.
06:00Okay.
06:01Our worthless son-in-law is being annoying.
06:02Tell him what will happen to him if he doesn't sign.
06:05Gladly.
06:06What's that idiot saying?
06:08Bob, is it?
06:09Great to meet you.
06:10Um, I just wanted to let you know this document is pretty flawed.
06:14Already I'm seeing in clause A subsection B that there's no legal precedent.
06:18And, did I hear right?
06:20You work for Maple Tech?
06:22That's interesting.
06:23That voice, um, you're right sir.
06:27Don't sign it.
06:28I'm sorry to have bothered you.
06:29Ms. Reynolds, I resign as your attorney.
06:31Don't call me again.
06:35What?
06:37How do you recognize your voice?
06:39What in God's name?
06:40We paid our lawyer thousands of dollars to make that divorce agreement.
06:45How did nobody like Eddie know more than him?
06:48He's unemployed.
06:49So he has all the time in the world to read Wikipedia like an idiot.
06:53That's how.
06:54Daddy, why is Grandma mad?
06:57It's Christmas.
06:58I know.
06:59But everything's going to be just fine.
07:01Let's go inside, Lori.
07:03I'm not dropping Miss Eddie.
07:04This Christmas I will get Jane to dump you.
07:05I have a plan.
07:06With all due respect, Mrs. Reynolds, your daughter is the love of my life.
07:18And no amount of money could ever make me leave her.
07:21I wish Jane would have married a real man.
07:24Like Jared.
07:25Oh, look.
07:26There he is now.
07:28Jane Reynolds!
07:30You look more stunning than I remember.
07:37Eddie!
07:38The last time I remember seeing you, me and the future mayor were stuffing you in a locker.
07:47Wasn't that the first time that Jane rejected you for me?
07:54You want another beatdown?
07:57Sasha, go play with your cousin Robbie, okay?
08:03Hi, cousin Robbie.
08:05Can I play?
08:10Haha!
08:11My prince said you're dead to loser.
08:13That means you are too.
08:16Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds.
08:19What a pleasure.
08:20Oh, you look so handsome and successful.
08:25Definitely Jane.
08:26I mean, he looks better than he did in high school with that ridiculous mullet.
08:31Jane, show some respect.
08:34Jared is a highly successful businessman.
08:37He's an executive at Maple Tech.
08:39Oh, really?
08:40An executive?
08:41Well, then you must have met the CEO, right?
08:44Well, what do you tell us?
08:46How is the big man?
08:48You're goddamn right I've met the CEO.
08:52He's a great man.
08:54He's entrusted me.
08:55I'm basically running the company office here in town and...
08:59the mall project.
09:01Wow.
09:02You work for Maple Tech?
09:05Really?
09:06I sure do, kid.
09:08And your dad?
09:10He wouldn't know that kind of success.
09:12Would you, Eddie?
09:15Haha, Sasha!
09:17Your dad's a loser!
09:19Hey, princess.
09:21Don't worry.
09:22I've got a feeling that Jared is gonna eat his words and get what he deserves pretty soon.
09:29The only thing Jared deserves is a promotion.
09:32He's big at Maple Tech.
09:34The CEO, he'll probably be calling and promoting me any day now.
09:37Don't worry about Eddie, Mrs. Reynolds.
09:39He's just jealous.
09:41Come on, everyone.
09:42It's Christmas, okay?
09:44Come on, let's go.
09:45Come on, let's go.
09:46Come on, let's go.
09:53Why is that me and Jared so mean?
09:56You know why?
09:57It's because successful men, they don't brag.
10:00They're humble.
10:03Hey, you wanna watch Daddy teach Jared a little Christmas lesson?
10:07It'll be our little secret, okay?
10:13Hey, we hired a local middle manager named Jared.
10:17Demote him for me.
10:19Yes, right away, Mr. A.
10:26Jeannie.
10:27Eddie can't give you what you deserve.
10:29With my high-paying job, I could give you it all.
10:32Jared, I'm married.
10:34You and Jared would make such a beautiful match.
10:37Yeah, middle management, it has its perks.
10:39I could take you out on the company dime.
10:42Maybe get this little hotel suite.
10:45Something tells me you're not management material, Jared.
10:49Eddie, stop.
10:51What would you know about who or what Maple Tech material is?
10:56You're not cut out to wash the floors at the mall.
11:00I'm just saying, maybe you should check on your current job status.
11:03What are you doing, Eddie?
11:05I want you to come home for good.
11:07Just stop antagonizing Maple Tech.
11:09They are the biggest employer in town.
11:11Eddie isn't the kind of guy that Maple Tech would hire.
11:15Trust me.
11:16I know the CEO.
11:17The only thing I need to question about my job status
11:20is how soon they're gonna be promoting me.
11:23It's Mrs. Henderson.
11:29Maple Tech VP.
11:30Oh, exciting!
11:31She's getting promoted!
11:33I'm gonna get a promotion, and then you're gonna be mine, Jane.
11:39You're not getting promoted, Jared.
11:42You're getting demoted.
11:46Mrs. Henderson.
11:48What an honor it is to speak with you again.
11:51Again?
11:52We've never met.
11:53And despite what you've been saying, you have no idea who our CEO is.
11:57You're not Maple Tech Management material.
11:59We're demoting you to mailroom duties.
12:02What?
12:03What?
12:04But why?
12:05Please, no, no!
12:07What?
12:08What did you do, loser?
12:11Eddie, how did you know that?
12:13Only the CEO could have known that.
12:15The CEO?
12:17Eddie?
12:19Eddie, what's going on?
12:22What's going on?
12:23Are you seeing?
12:24Oh!
12:25Oh!
12:26Oh!
12:27Oh!
12:28He didn't do anything!
12:29This is a big misunderstanding!
12:31I'm gonna go inside here and make a phone call, bitch!
12:34Sorry!
12:43Craig?
12:44Stop drinking and help me!
12:46I got a bad bag, woman.
12:48Oh, it's a panic.
12:49Oh, Christ, that loser's here.
12:51Eddie, I remember my brother, Craig, and his wife, Christina.
12:57Yeah!
12:58Yeah, of course!
12:59Uh, Merry Christmas, Tebow.
13:00Uh, you're still married at this deadbeat?
13:02Jane?
13:06Nuh-uh!
13:07No presents for loser kids and their deadbeat dads!
13:09Ha-ha!
13:10Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:12Oh, that's my baby!
13:14He's so funny!
13:16He's so funny!
13:17Jane, I don't know what your husband did with my job,
13:19and I'm gonna sort it out.
13:21Wow!
13:22Jared!
13:23This is the best gift ever!
13:25Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:27Robbie, can I play with it?
13:29Don't tell her you're an advocate you want!
13:31Aw!
13:32Aw!
13:33Aw!
13:34Robbie, don't rub salt in Sasha's wounds.
13:39Her dad's too poor to buy her Christmas gifts.
13:43Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:46That's, uh...
13:47Actually, uh, that's wrong.
13:49I did get her a Christmas gift.
13:52In fact, it's Maple Tech's new state-of-the-art virtual reality console.
13:58Virtual reality?
14:00Wow, Dad!
14:01Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:02No way!
14:03I don't believe it!
14:05Eddie, you really got her that?
14:07Of course not!
14:08Maple Tech hasn't even released that set to market yet.
14:11No one can buy it!
14:12LOL, Eddie.
14:13The new VR system from Maple Tech costs over $30,000.
14:18Lying to an eight-year-old.
14:21You have no shame.
14:23Jane, this is how low your pathetic husband is stooped.
14:27Eddie, the holidays can be hard on a struggling parent.
14:31You don't have to lie.
14:33Just admit, you're too poor to buy your kid a gift.
14:38It's okay.
14:39But I was so excited.
14:41Sasha, honey, your dad didn't mean that.
14:46I will get you a gift.
14:48A smaller gift.
14:49No, I did mean it.
14:51It's just waiting to be delivered at the local Maple Tech R&D warehouse.
14:55You are a lying sack of-
15:00It's not a toy store.
15:01It's a top-secret classified facility.
15:04Employees don't even have access.
15:06A worthless, unemployed nobody sure won't.
15:08You just don't get any toy gifts!
15:10Ha ha!
15:15Jared, Jared, Jared.
15:17You never learn, do you?
15:20I know the location of the secret warehouse.
15:22I even know the security code.
15:25Eddie.
15:27Just stop.
15:28You're upsetting Sasha and getting her hopes up.
15:30You're shameless. You're
15:37Jesus the address of the warehouse is on it on company letterhead
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