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My Ex's Best Friends
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Transcript
00:00Chloe!
00:01Have you guys seen Kurt?
00:02Kurt baby?
00:03Kurt baby?
00:04I can't believe this.
00:07I didn't know you were gonna be here tonight.
00:09Happy anniversary.
00:11We rented the cabin for the weekend, so we're here to bring you up there.
00:15You know, guys, there's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me.
00:18There's only one bed in this cabin.
00:21This is an all-out war for Chloe's heart.
00:23Game on.
00:24You really think about me like that?
00:25Chloe, you are all I think about.
00:27What's one of the ways you guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
00:30We would do anything for you.
00:33Me?
00:34And I swear to you, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you laugh like that.
00:38I want you to choose me.
00:40Chloe, if you're choosing him over me, I need to know right now, okay? I can't stand it.
00:44Jack, you need to relax.
00:45Relax?
00:46The woman I love is slipping through my fingers!
00:48You think you're the only one that loves her?
00:50You love me?
00:52Looks like we're gonna be here a little longer than two nights if it keeps coming down like that.
00:57What was that?
00:58The storm knocked all the power out.
01:00He too.
01:01You are worth fighting for.
01:03Even if it means fighting with my best friend in the whole world.
01:06This weekend has meant everything to me.
01:09Let's make a deal then, baby girl.
01:11Or one more night.
01:12You don't have to choose.
01:13Will you be here in the morning, just as the sun is rising?
01:21How many people can say they're half of the perfect couple?
01:24Feel so good when you're next to me.
01:27Kurt and I fell in love when we were 17.
01:30He was the captain of the soccer team, and I never thought he would notice me, but...
01:36Will you be my everything?
01:39Suddenly...
01:40We're soulmates.
01:41We came to college together, where he met Jack on the soccer team and Emmett in business classes.
01:50But even with these two in his life, he always made time to surprise me.
01:55And I got two new guy friends in my life as a bonus.
01:58Overprotective, sure, but always looking out for my best interests.
02:05It's been five years since our first kiss.
02:08We're sneaking off to a cabin this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
02:12And I'm pretty sure this is it.
02:15He's going to propose we get married after graduation.
02:19Cause you are my everything.
02:30Drinks out, lights out.
02:32I like the small talk, but it's over now.
02:35Light it up, give me some.
02:38I like the way you tease me with your soft lips.
02:42Boy kings, you're the one I care for.
02:44Chloe!
02:45That's the woman I wanted to see.
02:48Chloe!
02:49Hey, beautiful.
02:50Hey!
02:51Let me go get you a drink.
02:52You shouldn't have to push your way through a crowd.
02:55Whoa!
02:56Watch where the fuck you're going, buddy.
02:57You almost ran right into her.
02:58These people are animals, huh?
03:00Okay.
03:01You look stunning.
03:07So, have you guys seen Kurt?
03:09I haven't, no, but didn't know you were going to make an appearance.
03:12Yeah, I thought you had that huge midterm you had to finish for British land.
03:16Yeah, I actually finished it early.
03:18Plus, Kurt surprised me with a bottle of champagne and cookies at my doorstep.
03:23I thought maybe it was my turn to surprise him back.
03:26Well, we haven't seen him in a hot minute, but knowing Kurt, he's probably hiding in some dark corners somewhere.
03:31Okay.
03:32I'll do a lap.
03:33Thanks, guys.
03:34Kurt, baby?
03:36Kurt, baby?
03:37Kurt, baby?
03:38You always did like surprises.
03:40Chloe.
03:41I can't believe this.
03:42I have to go.
03:43Chloe, wait.
03:45Shit.
03:46Hey, Chloe, stop.
03:47Chloe, wait.
03:48Hey, Chloe, stop.
03:49Chloe, wait.
03:50Wait.
03:51Hey, Chloe, stop.
03:52Chloe, wait.
03:53Wait.
03:54Chloe, wait.
03:55Chloe, wait.
03:56Chloe, wait.
03:57Hey, Chloe.
03:58Chloe.
03:59I didn't know you were going to be here tonight.
04:01Oh, so that makes it okay?
04:03Well, you don't need to be such a fucking bitch about it.
04:07I'm the bitch?
04:08After catching you ready to fuck some other girl?
04:10What, is this some sort of fucking shock to you?
04:13I didn't want you to follow me to college like some dumb dog I can't get rid of, okay?
04:16I never asked for any of this in the first place.
04:18You can't fucking talk to her like that.
04:19Fuck off.
04:20Happy anniversary.
04:21Whoa, sweetheart, hey, what's wrong?
04:22What's going on?
04:23It's Kurt.
04:24I have to go.
04:25Chloe.
04:26How can you fucking cheat on Chloe, you?
04:28But why can't you wait until you have to be?
04:29Let me go.
04:30Oh, why can't you wait until you have to be the girl once again?
04:31Oh, why can't you wait until you have to be the girl once again?
04:32What, why don't you wait until it once again?
04:33What, why don't you wait until the end of that?
04:34Yeah, you know what, why don't you go after this?
04:35I got you ready to fuck some other girl.
04:36What, is this some sort of fucking shock to you?
04:37I didn't want you to follow me to college like some dumb dog I can't get rid of, okay?
04:39I never asked for any of this in the first place.
04:42It's Kurt.
04:44I have to go.
04:45Chloe?
04:49How can you fucking cheat on Chloe like that, huh?
04:51What the fuck are you doing? Get off!
04:53Kurt!
04:54You cheated on Chloe?
04:56You son of a bitch!
05:04Chloe, you've got visitors.
05:06Good news, it's not Kurt.
05:08Knock, knock.
05:10Hey, beautiful.
05:12Jack?
05:13Emmett?
05:14What are you-
05:15We decided what you need most right now is to be kidnapped.
05:20I know you rented the cabin for the weekend, so we're here to bring you up there.
05:23You deserve to get your vacation.
05:26But you guys are his best friends.
05:28You really think we want to still be friends with him after what he did to you?
05:31Not a chance, sweetheart.
05:33We hate seeing you like this. It's breaking our hearts.
05:36I don't know, guys.
05:37That's very sweet of you, but just not really in a vacation mood.
05:40Oh, come on, Chloe. We'll go on some hikes, we'll play some games.
05:44We'll cook, we'll get drunk, and most importantly, we'll get your mind off this shit show.
05:49You guys, I thought I was going to marry him. I just had my heart shattered.
06:00Well, let me help you mend it.
06:02And when Emmett inevitably doesn't, I will be there to actually put you back together.
06:07The point is, we're not taking no for an answer.
06:11Yeah, we will bring you out to the car, holding you if we have to.
06:16Come on, you're coming with us.
06:17The only choice you have in the matter is what clothes you get to bring.
06:21Personally, I think you look great in red.
06:23Emmett's an idiot. I know you look amazing in everything.
06:26So, what do you say? Want to splash some water in your face and have the best weekend of your life with me?
06:32I guess Jack will be there, Tiff.
06:35Ha ha, very funny.
06:36So, are we carrying you out of here, or are you going to walk out of here yourself, baby girl?
06:40There you go.
06:45Whenever I'm in love, yeah, I'm all in it.
06:48I haven't felt this way in a half minute.
06:50Everyone before you is now with it.
06:53I like the way you move, yeah, you're real different.
06:56I just want to tell you what's on my mind.
06:58The other ones are for you when I'm so proud.
07:01Setting you down now, beautiful?
07:04I said I could walk.
07:05And I said I would take every opportunity to have you in my arms.
07:08Hey, this place is nice.
07:12I thought Kurt was going to propose to me here.
07:15I figured we'd have the pictures for the rest of our lives.
07:19Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.
07:22Hey, it's okay, sweetheart. You had a really shitty week.
07:27I think I might have something that will help with that.
07:30How about we pop this bad boy open and cheers to a lovely weekend?
07:34I do love champagne.
07:36I know you do.
07:37Really? Did I tell you that?
07:39I think just once, but I remembered.
07:44Besides, I got to be honest, I snagged this one from your own kitchen.
07:47How did you know she even had it?
07:52Well, because I'm actually the one I left it for you.
07:55I knew that you were finishing up your midterms.
07:58I wanted to surprise you. It was me. It wasn't Kurt.
08:03If we're being honest here, those peanut butter cookies were for me.
08:09I made them for you one time and you said that they were the best cookies you've ever had.
08:12You guys did that for me? Why?
08:13Well, I mean, I can't speak for Jack, but I knew that Kurt would forget how much that paper meant to you.
08:22And I know you love surprises and didn't want Chloe to be disappointed.
08:27Making cookies is a little more time consuming than buying champagne.
08:31Okay, shut up. I mean, we both had the same thought, but if you want to tell us which one of the presents was better, be open to that too, baby girl.
08:39I can't pick. They were both so thoughtful.
08:45I can't believe you guys would do something like that for me when my own boyfriend didn't even remember.
08:49Well, hey, he's not your boyfriend anymore.
08:53Yeah. We are both aware that you are very, very single.
08:59You know, guys, there's one thing you didn't think about when you kidnapped me.
09:03Trust us. We thought of everything.
09:05If you had thought of everything, then you would have thought about the fact that there's only one bed in this cabin.
09:10When I was planning a romantic getaway for Kurt, I didn't plan for guest star appearances.
09:15Oh, believe me. I thought about that.
09:17Oh, did you?
09:18Mm-hmm. I thought about you and me sharing that bed.
09:21Oh, that couch is more jack-sized than me, bro.
09:24Chloe and I should be sleeping together.
09:26How about I just sleep on the couch?
09:28Absolutely not. No, this weekend is about spoiling you.
09:32That doesn't kick off with you having to sleep on a lumpy-ass couch.
09:35All right, then. It's settled. You and I will snuggle up in that bed.
09:38What the hell you are? You don't get to just call dibs like that.
09:42How about a compromise?
09:43How in the world are we supposed to share the sexiest woman in the cabin?
09:47I'm the only woman in this cabin.
09:49Let's just settle on taking turns. That way, each of you only get one night on the couch.
09:53The couch isn't what I'm worried about. It's this guy making a move on here is what I'm worried about.
09:58Oh, come on, bro. Like, you're not going to be slobbering all over her?
10:01Guys, guys, guys. One night keeps it fair and cuddly for everyone.
10:05Only problem, though, is who gets the first night?
10:11I think I have a way we can compute for that.
10:14Yeah! Okay, oh!
10:21Rules of the game are we all ask each other questions.
10:25If you don't want to answer a question, take a drink.
10:29If you drink, you lose the game.
10:32Hey, game on, bro.
10:34All right, damn it. What is the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to you?
10:38Oh, I, uh, I split my pants right down the ass in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation.
10:47Oh, my God.
10:48Yeah, you'll have to do better than that.
10:50Catching Kurt cheating on me. God, that's a really depressing answer.
10:55Okay, it's my turn. Um, I need to pick me up after reliving that in my head.
11:00Um, what's one of the ways you guys are planning to spoil me this weekend?
11:05Well, I will be giving you the best massage of your entire life.
11:09And I will run you the best bubble bath you've ever had.
11:12Not to mention, I'll be cooking for you.
11:15I don't think I didn't see the little hot tub out back.
11:18We will be spending lots of time in there.
11:21Damn, I guess I lost.
11:25No worries, sweetheart.
11:27The real winner is the guy that gets to end up in bed with you first.
11:30Which is gonna be me.
11:32Shut up and ask your question.
11:34All right, uh, Jack.
11:37Would you be willing to share your internet search history with us?
11:46Ha! Fuck you! I win!
11:49Asking a man to share his browser history is blatant cheating.
11:52Sorry, Jack. I'm with Emmett on this one.
11:54Emmett gets the first night.
11:56Yeah!
11:57Fine.
11:58Then I guess I will just get to spoil Chloe first then.
12:01Come on over, Chloe.
12:03Let's kick this weekend off with a little massage.
12:10This isn't over.
12:12Come on.
12:15That really was the best back rub I've ever had.
12:18You like that?
12:19Wait till you try my spicy veggie chili.
12:21Ooh, chili's my favorite.
12:23Oh, I know.
12:24Are you gonna come and help me with this?
12:26Absolutely.
12:27Anything to get dinner on the table faster.
12:32Hold on.
12:33You gotta be in uniform to be in my kitchen.
12:35You're distracting me from cutting.
12:36Maybe.
12:37I can't help myself.
12:38I need some music.
12:42Love this song.
12:43It always makes me want to dance.
12:44Well, my lady, let me oblige you.
12:45Oh.
12:46Okay.
12:47Okay.
12:49Sure.
12:50All right.
12:51All right.
12:52Okay.
12:53All right.
12:54Okay.
12:55All right.
12:56Sure.
12:57All right.
12:58Here's the first song.
12:59You're distracting me from cutting.
13:00Maybe.
13:01I can't help myself.
13:02We need some music.
13:03All right.
13:04All right.
13:05Love this song.
13:06It always makes me want to dance.
13:07Well, my lady, let me oblige you.
13:08Take a piece of you, make something so beautiful.
13:14Okay.
13:16Alright.
13:19May I?
13:22Of course.
13:23May.
13:24Take a piece of you, make something so beautiful.
13:31Take a piece of me, take a piece of you, make something so beautiful.
13:37thank you guys of course for what trying to cheer me up oh is it working i hope so
13:46i really do well we're just getting started
13:51you don't miss kurt you don't miss kurt you don't miss kurt
14:01it'll get better it will
14:07keep dreaming bro i get the first night in bed with her she won't even know you exist by tomorrow
14:20morning trust me bro it's one night all right we still have the
14:24whole weekend ahead of us if you really think i'd give up on a chance with chloe that easily
14:31bro you don't know me at all back the fuck off i'm not giving up on her just because you want
14:36her too well at least that's one thing we agree on she's worth fighting for she always has been
14:41can't believe a dumbass like kurt landed a woman like that at least i could stand watching them
14:48together when i thought he was treating her right fuck she used to be so happy we used to love that
14:52guy like a brother yeah guess those days are over with huh after seeing him make her cry i've never
14:58been so done with anyone in my entire life do you imagine landing a woman that beautiful that
15:04intelligent and you just throw it all away yeah i'll never understand that if i had a girlfriend
15:11like chloe i'd never let her go you had a girlfriend like chloe i hope you let her go so i could swoop in
15:16steal it for myself now that i got a chance i'm taking it buddy so am i
15:22i didn't mean to eavesdrop but i couldn't help it over here
15:40i don't mind that you know i'm glad we laid it out in the line
15:45it's a way easier for you to choose me but you know now i'm not going to be giving up on you
15:49yeah like i'm just going to roll over and give you my blessing you're a soft little bitch
15:53business major what are you going to do to protect her what the hell are you going to have to protect
15:57her from huh all 10 fans that come to your soccer games at least i'm not a coward little
16:01bitch boy that's scared to tell his daddy how he really feels yeah well you run through girls
16:05like they're disposable why should chloe think you'd be any different with her that's enough
16:09look we're only supposed to be here for two nights why don't we just call it
16:14what was that maybe we should just go home and take a breather you guys are best friends
16:21yeah i don't know if that's going to be possible baby girl
16:25he's really coming down out there okay i know it's pouring but if we leave now
16:32he's right about being a better match for chloe told you so
16:36ah funny jackass no he's right chloe the words are going to be covered with mud right now
16:41suv can't handle that looks like we're going to be here a little longer than two nights
16:46if it keeps coming down like that how much longer
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