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The Daily Show - Season 30 Episode 128 -
Rob Riggle
Rob Riggle
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00:00To journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.
00:05This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson.
00:25Welcome to The Daily Show.
00:27I'm Josh Johnson.
00:28We've got so much to talk about tonight.
00:30Trump can't stop writing IOUs.
00:32Sean Hannity's diss track just dropped.
00:34And a new breakthrough will allow you to live forever if you're a mortgage.
00:38So, let's get into the headlines.
00:45We all know the economy isn't great right now.
00:48Rent is too expensive.
00:49Grocery prices are too high.
00:51People are fist-fighting Starbucks over bear cups.
00:53That one isn't really about the economy, but I just like watching middle-aged people fight
00:59over cups.
01:01That bear has turned Starbucks into Waffle House.
01:04The point is, it's rough out there.
01:08So, no wonder last week Democrats won a ton of elections by running on affordability.
01:13And that sent President Trump into a little bit of a tailspin.
01:17You know, they have this new word called affordability, and they don't talk about it enough.
01:21We are the ones that have done great on affordability.
01:24They've done horribly on affordability.
01:26Affordability, they call it, was a con job by the Democrats.
01:29We are the victors on affordability.
01:32I don't want to hear about the affordability, because right now we're much less.
01:42Damn.
01:43That man just went through the five stages of affordability.
01:46And I get why he feels threatened, because normally he can just lie.
01:51But you're the president, and people know if they ate or not.
01:54It doesn't matter how many hats they buy or how many photos of him and Epstein they pretend
02:00they didn't see.
02:02You can hear your stomach growling when you're hungry.
02:05They're not going to be like, that must be an illegal immigrant in my stomach stirring
02:10up trouble.
02:11Get out of there, immigrant.
02:13Get out of there.
02:16But you know what?
02:17If Trump wants to focus on affordability right now, that's great.
02:20There's a lot of stuff that's too expensive.
02:22For example, houses.
02:24No one can afford a home.
02:25Everybody keeps waiting for him to show up on Prime Day, but it never happens.
02:31So maybe Trump could do something to bring down mortgages.
02:34The Trump administration moves forward with a plan to introduce 50-year mortgages.
02:44Or you can make them much longer, you know?
02:47Because you know where we'll all be in 50 years.
02:50Dead.
02:51You know what I mean?
02:52This seems like a bad idea.
02:54And if black people could get loans, I'd be worried.
02:57But hey.
02:59Hey.
03:00Maybe I'm just hating.
03:01All right?
03:02I mean, how much would a 50-year mortgage save people?
03:05Take a $400,000 loan at 6% interest.
03:08Under a 30-year mortgage, the monthly payment would be just shy of $2,400.
03:13Under a 50-year loan, it drops to just over $2,100.
03:16A savings of nearly $300 a month.
03:18Oh, boy.
03:20$300 a month?
03:27See?
03:27It's not a stupid idea.
03:29You know what?
03:30I'm going to apply for a 50-year mortgage right now.
03:35But over time, that savings is erased by a much larger interest bill.
03:39Because while the total interest on a 30-year loan would be about $463,000, the interest on
03:45a 50-year loan would total more than $860,000.
03:56Signed, Ronnie Chang.
03:58So you're saying that after interest, a $400,000 mortgage is going to cost me $1.3 million.
04:15That is the opposite of affordability.
04:17This man is creating generational debt.
04:22They're going to be fighting to get out of Grandma's will.
04:24Like, grandkids will be like, I barely knew her, all right?
04:32I wouldn't even hug her at Christmas because her skin was too loose.
04:38But look, forget mortgages.
04:41Because Trump's got other plans to make sure you afford whatever you want.
04:44You're going to be exhausted from affording.
04:47You're going to afford everywhere.
04:48President Trump now says he wants to send out $2,000 rebate checks paid for by his tariffs.
04:56One of the things we're going to do, we're going to issue a dividend to our middle-income
05:01people and lower-income people of about $2,000.
05:05Wait a second.
05:06Okay.
05:07Trump's making everybody pay tariffs, but only poor people are getting the $2,000 checks.
05:12So he's just redistributing taxes from rich people to poor people.
05:18Did...
05:19Did Donald Trump just stupid himself into socialism?
05:22I mean, I mean, you're doing a great job, Mr. President.
05:34Uh, we always believed.
05:37Everybody, shut up, all right?
05:44Don't say a word.
05:45Let this play out, and we'll have free health care by Christmas, all right?
05:51Nobody, nobody, nobody call him Mango Mamdani, all right?
06:02Great idea, Mr. President.
06:04Very capitalism.
06:07But, hey, you know what?
06:10$2,000 would help a lot of people.
06:11If the money's there, the money's there.
06:14If the president sent $2,000 checks to the $150 million people who make less than $100,000,
06:19it would cost $300 billion, even though the tariffs are only projected to raise about $217 annually.
06:27The money's not there.
06:28And now I'm starting to get worried because that's $83 billion short.
06:34And I'm not saying Trump is the worst president of all time.
06:37I'm just saying I've never met anyone who was $83 billion short.
06:43And by the way, he's only $83 billion short if he hasn't promised the tariff money to anybody else.
06:48We're going to take some of that tariff money that we made, we're going to give it to our farmers.
06:52The big thing we want to do is pay down debt.
06:55The president tapped into tariff revenue to keep WIC money for women and infants and children going out the door.
07:01Tariffs is one of the reasons why we have the money in the Treasury to actually be able to pay our troops.
07:06I think the tariffs will be enough to cut all of the income tax.
07:10Donald Trump's suggesting that tariffs could fund the country's child care needs.
07:14That'll easily pay for the Golden Dome.
07:16And we'll have a lot of money left over.
07:19Money left over?
07:21The money that never existed is already spent.
07:25And you're running around the country promising money you do not have to multiple people many times over.
07:31Every week I'm at this desk, I say this, and I guess I'll have to say this for three more years,
07:35but this is crackhead behavior.
07:47Please, for America's sake, you can't go down this path.
07:51This is going to end up with you behind the White House with China doing unspeakable things for money.
08:00Please reassure us when you are promising money to people, you have an idea where it's coming from.
08:05You put out a truth social post earlier today where you blasted the air traffic controllers who had not shown up for work
08:12and offered potentially a bonus of $10,000 for those who have worked despite the shutdown.
08:18I'm sending them a $10,000 bonus.
08:19Where's that money coming from?
08:21I don't know.
08:22I'll get it from someplace.
08:23Somebody please hide the dumpster behind the White House.
08:34For more on Trump's plan to give everyone $2,000, let's go live to the White House with our own Grace Kuhlenschmidt.
08:40Grace, you've been reporting on this story.
08:52Is this a serious plan?
08:54Absolutely not, Josh.
08:57A $2,000 tariff dividend is such a stupid plan, it's laughable.
09:02But I want $2,000, God, I want it so f***ing bad.
09:12But you just said it's stupid.
09:14Oh, it's one of the dumbest things this dumb, dumb president has ever done.
09:18It's going to bankrupt the country and drive inflation through the roof.
09:23But on the other hand, mommy want that money, mommy want that money so bad.
09:28Grace, let me explain.
09:31You've already paid this money in tariffs.
09:34Right.
09:34I am aware consumers have been shouldering the costs of these tariffs.
09:39I'm not stupid.
09:40But I am American, so $2,000, please.
09:47No, come on.
09:48We've got to be better citizens than that.
09:49There are better ways to spend the money.
09:51Definitely.
09:53We could put it toward Medicare for all.
09:55Or paying down the debt.
09:57And there's one other program that slipped my mind.
10:02But maybe two G's might help refresh my memory.
10:08I'm not paying you the money.
10:10Then shut the f*** up and let Trump pay me!
10:15So that's it, then.
10:16Americans are fine bankrupting the future for some money today.
10:19It's not just money, Josh.
10:21Oh, my God.
10:22It's 2,000 monies.
10:24Forget Mabdani's free buses.
10:28With 2,000 monies, I could buy my own bus.
10:32You can't buy a bus with 2,000 monies.
10:34I mean, dollars.
10:36Why are you so hard for cash anyway?
10:38I'm really behind on my 50-year mortgage.
10:40I'm really behind on my 50-year mortgage.
10:42Grace Koen-Schmidt, everyone.
10:45When we come back, we check in on award season.
10:48So don't go away.
10:49Welcome back to The Daily Show.
11:09If you've been to the movie theater lately, which you haven't, you know that award season
11:14is officially upon us.
11:15So let's get all the latest award show news in another edition of Who Wanted Best.
11:20Oh, welcome to Who Wanted Best, where we cover the only reason to do anything, awards.
11:36I'm Emmy Award winner Desi Lydic.
11:43And I'm a thin gay guy, Troy Iwata.
11:45You know, this past week was packed with award shows, and as you probably guessed, we have
11:53to start off by talking about the highly anticipated Bellator Awards.
11:58Oh, yes, of course, the Bellator Awards.
12:02Everybody knows what the Bellator Awards are.
12:05We don't even have to explain it.
12:06Nor should we.
12:07No.
12:08No.
12:09Let's talk about this year's keynote speaker, the glamorous, the debonair, the sex symbol
12:14of our time.
12:15Steve Bannon.
12:17I will tell you right now, as God is my witness, if we lose the midterms and we lose 2028,
12:26some in this room are going to prison, myself included.
12:36I told myself I wouldn't cry at the Bellator Awards again.
12:40Every year, like clockwork, here we are.
12:42Of course, like everyone, I watch the Bellator Awards for the fashion.
12:48Can we talk about Steve's fashion?
12:49Well, I think we have to.
12:51It's just incredible.
12:52He's wearing a shirt by Gucci, a coat by a dumpster, and then another shirt that's vintage
13:001942 Hugo Boss that we've been told not to ask questions about.
13:04Hmm.
13:05Lock him up before some other woman does.
13:10But of course, the Bellator Awards were just the appetizer to last week's main course, the
13:16Fox Nation Patriot Awards.
13:18where those who win are declared the most patriotic Americans, and those who lose are never heard
13:25from again.
13:27So fun!
13:28It's so fun!
13:29It's so fun!
13:30It's fun!
13:31It's fun!
13:32It's fun!
13:33It's fun!
13:34It's fun!
13:35And returning as the host with the most head circumference, Sean Hannity, let's see that
13:41charismatic melon in action.
13:43It's fun!
13:44Ba da ba da da da ba ba ba da da da da.
13:52Wow!
13:53The crowd is loving it.
13:56Oh, the vocal commitment, the stage presence.
14:00The fine motor skills!
14:02Right?
14:03I mean, how does he do it?
14:04I just want more.
14:06Please tell me it goes on for an excruciatingly long time.
14:08Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today, no longer want to be a part of it, high-tax
14:24New York, these Kami Mandani Blues are longing to leave, right to the very heart of the
14:38heart of it, bye-bye, New York, mmm, it was the perfect song with definitely the correct
14:52amount of syllables, it was so good, it was so good I could die now, I want to die now,
14:58I might kill myself, but Sean Hannity wasn't the only megawatt celebrity to grace this
15:05stage, the show was full of stars, wait till you hear, the lineup is sick, it's great,
15:11it's fun, it's going to be amazing, just hanging out with Jason Aldean backstage, give it up Jason
15:17Aldean, by the way, Jason Aldean is going to be back on this stage, we have a special treat
15:26for you, because Jason is coming back out, all right, ready for more star power, back, I love
15:35Jason Aldean, no way, they got Jason Aldean five times, I mean, how can you say no to performing
15:46at the Fox News Patriot Awards, it's an opportunity to be heard by millions of people who are no
15:51longer on speaking terms with their children, you know, but it wasn't just glitz and glam,
15:57Hannity also gave us a classic heartfelt awards show moment, I doubt there's a person in this room
16:04right now that would have ever bet 30 years ago that this thing, not only that Ainsley Earhart
16:14would date the other thing, but she will be my wife, I love you sweetheart, who is it, what,
16:31Mike Walsh is here, Mike, stand up, good to see you buddy,
16:36oh my god, oh my god, Sean Hannity and Ainsley Earhart and I guess Mike Waltz are going to be
16:46together forever, if those three bottoms can't make it work, no one can, no one, but of course,
16:55of course, all this was just a lead-up to the big prize of the night, the patriot of the year,
17:00oh, who's it gonna be, who's it gonna be, no, don't tell me, don't tell me,
17:05I want to be surprised, okay, tell me, no, don't tell me, I want to find out like everyone else,
17:09join me in welcoming Fox Nation's patriot of the year, the first lady of the United States of
17:20America, Melania Trump, wow, wow, Melania won just a year after her husband won the exact same
17:37award, what are the chances, what, what, that is, that is so crazy, but no, you never know,
17:45it's official, they are awards royalty, the Trumps are now up there with the Coppolas,
17:51some of the Culkins and the Jillian's Hall,
17:54and Melania wasted no time doing the most patriotic thing she could do, plugging her movie,
18:02the silver screen and I have been in deep conversation lately, you may have heard the
18:08news, I produced a new film with Amazon MGM named Melania, capturing my life, my business,
18:18my philanthropy, fostering the future, building my East Wing team, and of course, caring for my family,
18:26it was the perfect speech with definitely the correct amount of syllables,
18:33and by the way, such a classy move to shout out her East Wing team after they were all buried
18:40alive during the demolition, R.I.P., R.I.P., so fun, we have so much fun, that's your award show
18:53I mean, I can't wait until next year, I hear, they're trying to get Jason Aldean
18:58Oh, do you think he'll be available?
19:01I don't know, is there anything in this cup?
19:03Nope, cheers!
19:09Thank you, Desi and Troy, when we come back, Rob Wiggleby will join me on the show, don't go away
19:23Welcome back to The Daily Show, my guest tonight is not only an actor and comedian,
19:31he's a former Daily Show correspondent and a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, his new memoir is called
19:36Grit, Spit, and Never Quit, A Marine's Guide to Comedy and Life, please welcome back Rob Wiggle.
19:42Thank you, you guys have made some seriously awesome upgrades to this place
20:05Oh, yeah, what's it like to be back?
20:09It's awesome, really, this place looks amazing, compared to the dump it was back in the day
20:16but that one little kitchenette area is still the same, I did notice that, which I kind of appreciate
20:22It'll never change
20:23It'll never change, that old crusty coffee pot, so yeah, that was nice
20:26It was crusty when you were there too
20:28It was crusty, exactly
20:29No, thank you so much for joining me, thank you so much for coming
20:32I've been watching you for so long, I actually, without knowing it, I went on like a Rob Wiggle marathon
20:40I had watched Step Brothers, The Hangover, and just lots of episodes of Martin Family
20:45And it, I felt wild, because I was like, man, is something going on in my life where the same person is in everything?
20:54Yeah, I think you could write a thesis on that, I think someone did write a thesis on like Michael Caine, you know
21:02Yeah, at any given time, you can catch a Michael Caine film
21:05Oh, you're blowing my mind
21:08Yeah, exactly, we're about to get Matrix level, weird
21:11Yeah, yeah
21:11Oh, so you have this book, and you are not only, you know, a veteran of The Daily Show, but Marine Corps veteran and everything
21:20I'm curious, what is it like to do comedy and be in the military?
21:28Because in just my experience, really just speaking for myself, most comedians are cowards
21:32Yeah, you know, people do ask that question, or a form of that question a lot, which is, you know, the military and comedy
21:42How does that, you know, how does that jive? It doesn't
21:45They're two totally separate lanes, but I do think that there is some crossover, as far as like the intangibles go, you know, the mindset
21:54You know, working in comedy and a life in the arts, you're going to be rejected, you're going to hear the word no, you're going to be knocked down, you're going to be told you're no good
22:03You're going to run into obstacles non-stop, it's a hard life, there's no money
22:07That's very similar to the Marine Corps
22:09So, yeah, there's a lot of parallels in that regard, but I do think the Marines did give me certain things, like the mind, the proper mindset, the right mindset, that you just don't quit
22:23Make that decision before you start, and chances are good things will happen
22:28Yeah, no, that makes sense, because it feels like in the Marines you would get the sort of literal version of everything comedy gives you as a metaphor
22:35Like, when I get knocked down, someone didn't laugh, I didn't actually get hit
22:40You know what I mean, like, that is wild, because even in your story, like your personal story in the book, it's like at 24 you decide you were going to do comedy, and so you made it work with the military, but at the same time you wanted to be on SNL, and you had like set this goal to be on SNL, and then you did it like, at like the 10 year mark or something, right?
23:04Yeah, yeah, it was, well, I was in flight school, and I'll try to give you the Reader's Digest version of this story, because it's long, but, as a matter of fact, it's right here in this book, everybody
23:13Oh!
23:18Just, just shameless, shameless, shameless plugging
23:22No, but it is convenient to have it right here
23:24It is very nice to have it, it's so good
23:25No, I was in the, again, Reader's Digest version, I was in the Marine Corps, I was flying planes down to Corpus Christi, Texas
23:32I had a friend of mine who was up in Chicago doing improv, and he said, Riggle, this is what we did in college, only it has a name, it's called improv, and I think you're good at it, I think you're better than some of the people up here
23:42Well, that's exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, because flight school was fine, but I wasn't loving it, it was just fine
23:48Um, and once I pinned those wings on, I was in for 10 years, I was locked in, then I figured out, oh my god, I'll probably do 20 at that point, why would I get out, et cetera
23:56So, all of a sudden, I was like, that's happening, you know
23:59Well, I sat down and had my quarter-life crisis, as they call it, and I said, what do I really, really want to do with my life?
24:07And I said, I think I want to be a comedian, now mind you, I had never done anything, comedically, I know no one in the business, I'd never been on stage, I'd never really done anything
24:15But I just had this, this burning desire to do it, so I quit flight school, became, went to the ground side on the Marines
24:22Um, which allowed me to, you know, fulfill my contract, uh, with the Marines, and then moved to Chicago
24:28And I ended up getting to New York, taking classes, um, uh, working seven years, grinding, uh, at every place
24:37Around town, any place I could get stage time, studying with the UCB, all these things
24:41Ended up deploying, going to, uh, Kosovo, ended up going to Afghanistan, working on 9-11 down in the rebel piles
24:47Ended up doing a bunch of things, and sure enough, ten years, almost to the day that I wrote down in the book
24:54The, this book I was reading at the time, I wrote down in the book, if I quit flight school, I'm going to do what?
24:59Number one, get on SNL
25:01Almost ten years to the day that I wrote that, I got a call from Lauren Michaels asking me to join SNL
25:06So
25:07It happens
25:09Man
25:10Yeah
25:10That's incredible
25:11Yeah
25:12That's like, like, that's truly, truly remarkable, because plenty of people have, like, plans, ideas for what they want to, want to do
25:20They might even write them down, and then ten years later, they're like, that's where I left that piece of paper, you know what I mean?
25:26Like, you, yeah, you made it happen
25:28And, and you, in the book, you talk about how there's, like, this sort of, like, inner drill sergeant that gets you to do the things that you don't want to do
25:36How do you, how do you, without getting yelled at, manage to create that drill sergeant for yourself?
25:45Well, I think everybody needs a drill sergeant in their life of some form, a coach, you can call it whatever you want to call it
25:53And if you're lucky enough to have someone in your life external to you, to remind you, hey, get up, go work out, go, go read that book
26:01Pick up the phone and call that person you're avoiding because you don't think it's the right time, or that, you know, somebody, if somebody's pushing you, you have a chance of doing it
26:10For the most of us, we just don't have anybody pushing us, and you never will
26:14That's what most people don't realize, you're never going to have anybody pushing you, you have to be your own drill instructor, you have to be
26:19So I've had many conversations with myself, and I learned that voice came out, and it came out in the form of a drill instructor
26:25Because if I was being honest with myself, I was being lazy, I was being, I was afraid
26:31These are the reasons that I didn't do the things that I know I should be doing
26:35And so it took a drill instructor tone to get me off my butt to go do what I needed to do
26:43And I remember I was on 31st and 7th, I had just taught an improv class
26:48And I knew I was going to be invited to audition for SNL
26:52And I needed to develop these characters for my audition, but I was exhausted
26:57I had been up, I had done PT, physical training with the Marines that morning since 5am
27:02So it was 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock at night, I was tired, I just wanted to go home and have a burrito and go to bed
27:07And I had to stand on the corner of 31st and 7th, screaming at myself, out loud
27:13So I'm, not uncommon in New York, by the way
27:16And I stood there and I argued with myself, and I was like, go, go down to the UCB
27:22It's open mic, you do sign up for 5 minutes and just work out a character
27:25I don't have anything to do, I don't even have a character, I don't care, go make one up
27:29I'm having an argument with myself, right? This is what you do, improvise a character
27:33Just come up with, I don't even care what you do
27:34So I lost the argument with my drill instructor and I went down
27:37I didn't go home, I went down to the UCB and I created two characters that night
27:42That I ended up using in my audition
27:44And then I ended up getting the thing, but I could easily
27:48I can make excuses all day, I'm very good at it
27:51I could have easily gone home
27:53I could have said, I'll start tomorrow, I'm tired
27:55Ah, let's call it a day
27:57But sometimes you gotta kick your own butt
27:59No, that makes a lot of sense
28:01And to me, it's also just such a phenomenal outlook
28:11Because now, when I'm on the subway, I'll be like
28:13Maybe that's just his inner drill instructor coming out
28:16You know what I mean?
28:18Right?
28:18Yeah
28:18Right? You might look at folks a little different
28:21I'll move with less fear, you know what I mean?
28:24Exactly
28:24Yeah
28:25So do you find that these sort of lessons that you took away from the military
28:31And, you know, you were doing comedy while you were still serving and everything
28:35But, like, do you think that the overlap is, like, incredibly strong?
28:41Or do you think it was just strong because of your approach to comedy and your personality?
28:47With regard to me being in the Marines and-
28:49Yeah, yeah, because the way that you marry these parallels together in the book is really interesting
28:54And they're ways I've never thought about it
28:55I've been doing comedy for a while
28:57Like, you know, we even have a bit of a similar track
29:02Except mine included no military
29:04But I sort of, you know, started comedy in Chicago
29:09Moved to New York, all that stuff
29:11And did some improv classes and everything
29:13And, yeah, I guess there's something about your approach in the book that seems so, like, personal
29:21Even though you're applying it in this broad way
29:23Yeah, I think there's, well, going back to, you know, I think there's a lot of intangibles
29:28I think the, you know, the, it's a mindset thing
29:32I think if you choose a life in the arts, it's going to be an uphill battle
29:36And you're never going to feel quite satisfied
29:40And you're always going to be self-judging
29:42And you really, it requires a lot of mental, maybe, or emotional fortitude
29:50Because you're going to just run into walls and obstacles nonstop
29:55And you have to really believe in what you're doing
29:57And you have to love what you're doing to overcome those things
29:59Because the temptation to quit is way too easy
30:03Way too easy
30:04And, yeah, and then if you get that mindset
30:08And you put a little, if you put the right ingredients in
30:12I think good things will come
30:13There is no secret to success
30:16It's not a secret
30:17It's what you would expect
30:20It just kind of sucks
30:21It's hard work
30:23It's discipline
30:23It's consistency
30:24It's getting back up when you get knocked down
30:27It's not taking no for an answer
30:29It's just continue to grind
30:30Continue to seek every opportunity you can
30:32Continue to grow
30:34Find ways to grow
30:35Don't let people define you
30:37All the cliches that are out there
30:39They didn't just fall from the sky
30:41They appeared because this has been tried and true
30:44Year in and out
30:46Year after year after year for millennia
30:48Yeah, yeah, that makes sense
30:50And then do you
30:51I guess your transition fully to sort of civilian life
30:56From being in the military
30:57And everything you said was an easier thing for you
31:02Because you had lanes that you kept things in
31:05Like you had sort of mindsets for when you were in one thing and the other
31:08Do you have advice for veterans who are having trouble with that adjustment back to civilian life?
31:14Yeah, you know, I do work with a lot of veterans organizations
31:17And one of the problems we're seeing with a lot of our Afghan and Iraq veterans
31:23You know, we have a suicide problem with a lot of our veterans
31:27It's because they isolate themselves
31:30They refuse to reach out
31:35And it's a
31:35I don't know how you want to classify it
31:39But it's not uncommon really among first responders or veterans or anybody really
31:44It's hard to put your hand in the air and say I need help
31:48But that's the one thing you should do and you need to do
31:52Because when you isolate, you start a path downhill
31:56And it becomes very, very hard
31:57So if there are veterans out there that are, you know, transitioning back to civilian life or whatever
32:04And looking for, you know, don't isolate
32:07There's all kinds of amazing organizations out there to help you
32:11You've got a great set of skills that you learned in the military
32:15Just bring them forward
32:16Because they will apply
32:18Even if it's not a direct application
32:20Just trust that, you know, if you've got the fortitude that you learned in the military
32:25It'll carry over into civilian life too
32:27I ask everyone that I interview, you know, when we start to wrap up the interview
32:33If we could do it in a way that is a little bit special
32:36Just you and I, right?
32:37And I noticed, you know, from when I saw you backstage and when you came out
32:42That, you know, you're a big guy
32:44You're like a strong guy and everything
32:46I actually asked them to make sure your seat was a little lower so we'd be more level
32:49You know what I mean?
32:52And so, you know, you're too big to arm wrestle
32:56I've got to bring you down to my level
32:58But I do text a lot
33:00So what about a thumb wrestle?
33:02Does that...
33:03Yeah, okay
33:03Oh, your hands are huge
33:12Okay
33:14All right, now do you do the whole count off?
33:16We can do the count off
33:17Okay, all right, ready?
33:19One, two, three, four
33:21I announce a thumb war
33:23Right? Is that how you...
33:25And then I go like that
33:26Oh, I thought it was going to be the, like, five, six, seven, eight thing
33:28But we can...
33:28Are you going to use that?
33:29Oh, oh, oh, oh
33:30Not, uh, okay
33:32Oh, oh, oh, oh
33:33Ha, ha, ha, ha
33:35Ha, ha, ha
33:36No, no, no
33:42No
33:42Brit Spit and Never Quit is available now
33:48Rob Riggle
33:49We're going to take a quick break
33:52But we'll be right back after this
33:54Thanks, man
33:55That's our show for tonight
34:12Now here it is
34:12Your moment of zen
34:13It was a fun moment
34:15When Donald Trump turned to his assistant
34:17And said
34:18Go get me my phone
34:20Ready?
34:30Boop
34:30Sorry
34:33Go get me my phone
34:34Go get me my phone
34:34Go get me my phone
34:35Go get me my phone
34:35Go get me my phone
34:36Go get me my phone
34:36Go get me my phone
34:37Go get me my phone
34:38Go get me my phone
34:38Go get me my phone
34:39Go get me my phone
34:39Go get me my phone
34:40Go get me my phone
34:40Go get me my phone
34:41Go get me my phone
34:42Go get me my phone
34:42Go get me my phone
34:43Go get me my phone
34:43Go get me my phone
34:44Go get me my phone
34:44Go get me my phone
34:45Go get me my phone
34:45Go get me my phone
34:46Go get me my phone
34:46Go get me my phone
34:47Go get me my phone
34:48Go get me my phone
34:48Go get me my phone
34:49Go get me my phone
34:50Go get me my phone
34:51Go get me my phone
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