- 7 hours ago
A famous lifestyle writer must maintain her carefully crafted image when TV cameras arrive for Christmas dinner. Her plan to have her best friend pose as her spouse leads to unexpected feelings and revelations.
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00:00:00Live from our studio in New York City,
00:00:09Another Cup with Liza Brown.
00:00:12And here she is.
00:00:16Welcome to Another Cup with Liza Brown.
00:00:30Our guest host this week is none other than lifestyle guru
00:00:43and author of volume 1 through 12 of Joy to the World.
00:00:47Please welcome Joy Edwards.
00:01:00Great to have you, Joy.
00:01:12Oh, it's great to be here, Liza.
00:01:14You not only write about the perfect lifestyle, you live it.
00:01:18Are you a perfectionist?
00:01:19Absolutely not.
00:01:21As long as everything is exactly as it should be, I'm totally flexible.
00:01:25Speaking of perfect, your country home, Goose Lane.
00:01:36Oh, it's almost too good to be true.
00:01:43Unreal.
00:01:44Tell us about Christmas at Goose Lane.
00:01:46Well, for me, the holidays are all about family.
00:01:49We trim the tree, we hang the stocking,
00:01:52and, of course, those long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
00:01:57Your fans love you so much
00:01:59because we feel like we know you and your family.
00:02:03Tori and Tommy, they're 8 and 13 now.
00:02:06Where does the time go?
00:02:08Oh, your mom and dad.
00:02:10Will we ever get to meet them all?
00:02:12Ah, well, not if I'm going to continue selling books.
00:02:15No, they're as wonderful as you'd expect,
00:02:19but privacy is important to us.
00:02:21At least tell us your recipe for a happy marriage.
00:02:24I'm not sure there's a recipe for that,
00:02:27but I will say to all the ladies out there,
00:02:31no matter how long it takes, pick the right guy.
00:02:35Find the one that ruins your lipstick, not your mascara.
00:02:43You heard it from the source, folks.
00:02:45She writes about it.
00:02:47She lives it.
00:02:49Now let's see her cook it.
00:02:50Set the table and put it on a nice plate.
00:02:57Even bad food tastes better.
00:03:00Girl, I'm going to your house for Christmas.
00:03:02Well, I'll set an extra plate.
00:03:04If you're looking for a last-minute holiday gift,
00:03:07look no further than Joy to the World,
00:03:09Christmas at Goose Lane.
00:03:11We'll be back with more Joy Edwards after these messages.
00:03:14Santa's watching, so be nice and stay tuned.
00:03:22This is great.
00:03:26Your Insta is blowing up.
00:03:28Is the week over yet?
00:03:30It's Monday, Joy.
00:03:31Yeah, I don't know how I'm going to keep this up.
00:03:34Hey, are you kidding?
00:03:35You're a natural.
00:03:36Yeah, that's what scares me.
00:03:37Yeah, you know what scares me?
00:03:38Plummeting sails.
00:03:39I meant what I said, Josh.
00:03:41This is my last book.
00:03:43I need a life.
00:03:45Joy, sweetie,
00:03:47you have an SUV and a chauffeur
00:03:50waiting in the freezing cold to drive you home.
00:03:52This is a life.
00:03:54One second.
00:03:55I need a real life.
00:03:57Trust me.
00:03:58It's overrated.
00:03:59Miss Edwards.
00:04:18Hey, that was a cute accent.
00:04:21Thought I would spice things up a bit.
00:04:23Caught the show.
00:04:25You were brilliant as always.
00:04:27Really?
00:04:27I was so nervous.
00:04:31Although you did steal my line
00:04:32about romantic walks to the fridge.
00:04:35Sorry.
00:04:36That's all good.
00:04:37I'll let you slide.
00:04:39Besides, now I can tell my patrons
00:04:40I've been quoted on TV.
00:04:42Um, a food show.
00:04:44I'll be at that point, yeah.
00:04:46So, try to?
00:04:49Spicy burritos and iceberg shakes.
00:04:52Ice fire sauce.
00:04:53Chili fries.
00:04:57I had a dream last night
00:05:10You were by my side
00:05:13At that special time of year
00:05:18I woke up to the snow
00:05:22There were songs on the radio
00:05:25I turned around and there you were, my dear
00:05:30Now that I'm here with you
00:05:37Thank you for doing this.
00:05:40It's so embarrassing.
00:05:44Hey, come on.
00:05:44Who hasn't used a fake chauffeur nowadays?
00:05:47Well, tomorrow I'm taking an Uber.
00:05:50Yeah, Uber my dead body.
00:05:53Hey, come on.
00:05:53It's the least I can do.
00:05:55You didn't let me crash in your guest house
00:05:56since Thanksgiving.
00:05:58Well, you can stay here as long as you like.
00:06:00Well, thank you.
00:06:01But like I said, I'll be out of your hair before the holidays.
00:06:04Holidays?
00:06:05What holidays?
00:06:08Oh, hold up.
00:06:14Ooh, redhead.
00:06:16That's new for you.
00:06:17Yeah, she works at the bakery.
00:06:19Went in for coffee a few times.
00:06:21That was cordial.
00:06:23You know me.
00:06:24Huh?
00:06:24You are a cordial guy?
00:06:26Well, I think she misread my cordiality.
00:06:29Just another person who finds you irresistible.
00:06:34That's just you.
00:06:35Ha!
00:06:38Come on.
00:06:39You named your fake husband after me.
00:06:41Who is another Max?
00:06:42What other Max?
00:06:43Mad Max?
00:06:44No.
00:06:45Max Mercury?
00:06:46No.
00:06:46Max Schmeling?
00:06:48Who's Max Schmeling?
00:06:49Heavyweight champion of the world, 1930.
00:06:51Uh, it was another Max.
00:06:53Yeah.
00:06:55You had your chance.
00:06:57You remember that bad diner you used to work at?
00:07:00I remember you pretending to like the food.
00:07:02Yeah, it took me four bowls of that stew to work up the courage to ask you out.
00:07:05You gave me heartburn.
00:07:07And a broken heart.
00:07:08I did not break your heart.
00:07:10How do you know?
00:07:11You had a string of girls waiting in the wings, just like always.
00:07:15Yeah, but think of all the bad dates you would have spared me if you hadn't decided that we were just better off as friends.
00:07:23So the bad dates are my fault now.
00:07:25Yeah.
00:07:27Well, we are still friends.
00:07:30Oh, Goose Lane friendship.
00:07:32Volume 17.
00:07:35See you in the morning.
00:07:36Yup.
00:07:38Max von Sydow.
00:07:40The old priest and the exorcist.
00:07:42No matter what I, I'll take the old priest.
00:07:43Ah, a good night.
00:07:44I'll take it there.
00:07:45I'll take it there, guys.
00:07:46I'll take it there.
00:07:46No point.
00:08:17Well, we tried.
00:09:17Oh, Marta, how many times are you going to do that?
00:09:31That never gets old.
00:09:34And why do I bother making you bed when you sleep down here every night?
00:09:37It's not every night, and I make my own bed.
00:09:41It is according to my count.
00:09:43Oh, well, stop counting and vacuuming.
00:09:46In fact, just take the day off.
00:09:48You gave me the day off yesterday, and you have a show tomorrow.
00:09:55Did you make coffee?
00:09:56It's your turn, and not so strong.
00:10:03Aren't you going to ask me if I saw the show?
00:10:05Because I did.
00:10:07Dodged another bullet if you asked me.
00:10:10Which I'm not.
00:10:11You can solve all your problems by putting a stop to this.
00:10:15Which I plan to, after Christmas.
00:10:18You said that last Christmas.
00:10:20Look, Mr. Merriman's really counting on this book.
00:10:24You said that last Christmas, too.
00:10:27Keep this up.
00:10:27You'll be alone for the rest of your life.
00:10:29I'm not alone.
00:10:31I have you.
00:10:32And Mr. Handsome out there in the guest house.
00:10:36He's a friend, Marta.
00:10:38Then what's he still doing here?
00:10:40I don't know.
00:10:41The loft has water damage.
00:10:45Whatever you say.
00:10:46And don't wear that red lipstick on camera.
00:10:49It's not your color.
00:10:55You need a little Christmas in this place.
00:10:59Oh, hey, Sabrina.
00:11:02Hi, Joy.
00:11:03Just delivering the wrapping paper you ordered.
00:11:0514 rolls.
00:11:07Wow.
00:11:08I thought I ordered two.
00:11:09Not according to my records.
00:11:11That's $146, including tax.
00:11:14PayPal, Venmo, or Zelle.
00:11:16Yeah, come on in.
00:11:19Wait, aren't you supposed to be at school?
00:11:21It's winter break.
00:11:22Right.
00:11:23Okay, so you said, uh, $140?
00:11:27$146, including tax.
00:11:30Right.
00:11:31My parents are spending the holidays with some very important clients in Aspen.
00:11:35Oh.
00:11:36Are you leaving you guys alone?
00:11:37No.
00:11:38Our nanny's here.
00:11:39She lets us do whatever we want.
00:11:41Oh, and I have a new Christmas demo.
00:11:43I really had the high notes this year.
00:11:45I'll airdrop you.
00:11:46Okay, great.
00:11:47I can't wait to hear it.
00:11:48Go, go.
00:11:48Aggressive.
00:11:57Oh, yeah.
00:11:58She tried to sell me a $30 glass of lemonade last summer.
00:12:03Whoa!
00:12:04Ow!
00:12:05What now?
00:12:08You know.
00:12:12Oh, come on!
00:12:14You knocked over my reindeer!
00:12:16Watch this, dude.
00:12:16But, no.
00:12:19What did I tell you about skateboarding in my yard, Henry?
00:12:22I don't go by Henry anymore.
00:12:24It's Hawk now.
00:12:25Oh.
00:12:26Okay, Hawk.
00:12:28Well, fly off, or I'm gonna call your parents.
00:12:31No, you're not.
00:12:32You said that last time.
00:12:34Uh, could you help me with the reindeer, maybe?
00:12:37Flying away like you told me to.
00:12:41Come on.
00:12:42It's open.
00:12:56Morning.
00:12:57Morning.
00:13:00Oh, Max.
00:13:02I love it.
00:13:03You notice the gooses?
00:13:04I think it's geeses.
00:13:06Well, these geeses are going above your fireplace.
00:13:10Oh, come on.
00:13:11I couldn't.
00:13:13Consider it an early Christmas present.
00:13:21I gotta find a new bakery.
00:13:24Wouldn't it be just more cordial to message her back?
00:13:27I have.
00:13:29I just wanted a cup of coffee.
00:13:31And it wasn't even coffee.
00:13:32It was decaf.
00:13:34Anyway, you ready to roll?
00:13:37Hey, you heard from the Frankie Vinnie gallery.
00:13:39Standard form rejection letter.
00:13:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:13:43It's their loss.
00:13:44Pretty sure it's mine.
00:13:45They're the second best gallery in the city.
00:13:48Yeah, but we're not gonna settle for second.
00:13:50You're gonna get the best.
00:13:52Wow.
00:13:54All right.
00:13:59Best, huh?
00:14:00Yeah.
00:14:03Good morning, Freddy.
00:14:08Good morning, Joy.
00:14:10Just some bills.
00:14:11I'm sorry.
00:14:13I'm glad I caught you before the holidays.
00:14:16Oh.
00:14:19Oh, wow.
00:14:21A cup of coffee for me?
00:14:22Yes, for you.
00:14:23Oh, wow.
00:14:24Ha, ha, ha.
00:14:28And...
00:14:29For you, dear sir.
00:14:31Oh, joy.
00:14:36You're welcome.
00:14:38Big plans for Christmas?
00:14:39Uh, no.
00:14:41The usual.
00:14:42You having, um, dinner with your son?
00:14:45I'm by myself this year.
00:14:47He, uh, took a job in California.
00:14:499-4-1-2-3.
00:14:51Ah.
00:14:51Ha, ha, ha.
00:14:54Thanks for this.
00:14:55You deserve it.
00:14:56Okay.
00:14:57Okay.
00:14:57See ya.
00:15:03See ya.
00:15:21See ya.
00:15:21See ya.
00:15:25Above all, cooking should be fun.
00:15:55Gingerbread open house made by my daughter Tori, I think real estate's in her future.
00:16:02You see this castle? Designed by her brother Tommy.
00:16:06You see the moat? It's going through a privacy phase.
00:16:10And don't forget, when you sit down to Christmas dinner, try everything.
00:16:16You don't want to look back and think, oh, I could have eaten that.
00:16:20We'll be back with more Joy Edwards after these messages.
00:16:25This has been the longest week ever. Tell me it's Friday. Tell me it's not still Thursday.
00:16:36Merriman's here.
00:16:38What? Joy!
00:16:40Mr. Merriman! Oh, how wonderful to see you. It's been too long.
00:16:46Not that long. Volume 11, Goose Lane Easter.
00:16:50Many meals ago.
00:16:53You know I've always thought of you as the daughter I never had.
00:16:56Thank you. That means so much to me.
00:16:59And I don't need to tell you, sales have been a little disappointing.
00:17:03But I'm happy to report they've been up considerably since you've been on the air.
00:17:08That's great.
00:17:10Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you.
00:17:14I think it might be time to end the book series.
00:17:19Well, I had a feeling this was coming, and in anticipation of the inevitable, Merriman Publishing has made special plans to promote this book.
00:17:28If this is going to be your last, we're going out with a bang.
00:17:32Thank you for always supporting me.
00:17:37I know.
00:17:38I imagine it's time for you to start a new chapter.
00:17:42And spend more time with your family, no doubt.
00:17:49I'll save you a piece of gingerbread.
00:17:53Go. Break a leg.
00:17:55Okay, thank you.
00:17:57All right, ten seconds, people.
00:18:01Just don't break mine.
00:18:04It's been great having you here this week, Joy.
00:18:07Has it been a week already?
00:18:09Yes, I'm afraid so.
00:18:11But before we go, I have a surprise for our audience.
00:18:17We're all going to Goose Lane for Christmas!
00:18:23What?
00:18:24Yes, that's right.
00:18:25Joy will be broadcasting live from her country home on Christmas Eve.
00:18:29Our cameras will join Max, the kids, and of course Joy's parents, the entire Edwards family,
00:18:36for their traditional Christmas Eve dinner with all the trimmings.
00:18:41Joy, any last words before we sign off?
00:18:45My goose is cooked.
00:18:47Joy.
00:18:48Joy.
00:18:49Joy.
00:18:50Joy.
00:18:51Joy.
00:18:52Joy.
00:18:53Joy.
00:18:54Joy.
00:18:55Joy.
00:18:56Joy.
00:18:57What have you done?
00:18:58It was Merriman's idea.
00:18:59He was very insistent.
00:19:00Oh, there's a little star.
00:19:01That was so good.
00:19:02You are natural.
00:19:03I will see you soon, okay?
00:19:04Okay.
00:19:06This is a nightmare.
00:19:08Or, an opportunity.
00:19:10Remember when you came to me with that cute little family cookbook?
00:19:14Completely unmarketable.
00:19:15Why?
00:19:16Because you didn't have a family.
00:19:18I made you into a brand.
00:19:19You turned me into a liar.
00:19:21You did go along with it.
00:19:22Yeah, but I didn't think it would get this far.
00:19:24Was Colonel Sanders really a colonel?
00:19:26No.
00:19:27He was a businessman.
00:19:28Was Mrs. Fields married to Mr. Fields?
00:19:30News flashed their divorce, but that would sell way less cookies.
00:19:33Dr. Seuss, number one children's author of all time.
00:19:36Wasn't even a doctor, and he didn't have any kids.
00:19:38Which is why we don't go to their house for fried chicken and bedtime stories.
00:19:44Oh, God.
00:19:46Please fix this.
00:19:47I can't.
00:19:48Christmas Eve is in three days.
00:19:50That's 72 hours.
00:19:53You'll think of something.
00:19:55You are Joy Edwards.
00:19:57Jack the Hall's with Bob Ropoli.
00:19:59Ba-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
00:20:00Tick.
00:20:01Oh, no.
00:20:15It's open.
00:20:16Hey.
00:20:17Hey.
00:20:18Hey.
00:20:19I found nutcrackers.
00:20:20Ice cream.
00:20:21Please.
00:20:22Please.
00:20:23I was just thinking about when I first saw this place.
00:20:29Half a roof, broken windows, peeling paint, a family of geese on an overgrown lawn, and I knew this was it.
00:20:40This was gonna be the place I called home.
00:20:41A real home.
00:20:42Now I guess I have to move to another planet.
00:20:43Whatever happens, you'll be through it.
00:20:44Maybe I should just call Mr. Merryman and get this over with.
00:20:59Now I guess I have to move to another planet.
00:21:04Whatever happens, you'll be through it.
00:21:08Maybe I should just call Mr. Merryman
00:21:10and get this over with.
00:21:12But you know he thinks of me as a daughter.
00:21:15Children disappoint their parents all the time.
00:21:18Oh, he's gonna be crushed.
00:21:20In the publishing house.
00:21:23I mean, Christmas is all about book sales.
00:21:28Let's not forget about the birth of Jesus.
00:21:31I'm a horrible person.
00:21:35You're not.
00:21:36I invented a husband and kids and a chicken coop
00:21:42to sell Christmas books.
00:21:43Like, I don't even have a Christmas tree.
00:21:47Too bad you made me your driver.
00:21:50I could have made me your husband.
00:21:53What did you just say?
00:21:57Too bad you made me your driver.
00:21:59No, after that.
00:22:01You could have made me your husband.
00:22:04That could work.
00:22:06What?
00:22:07Nobody saw your face.
00:22:09You had a hat on and sunglasses.
00:22:12That's it.
00:22:14And I just have to get through one dinner.
00:22:16Like a couple hours.
00:22:17There's turkey, pie, and they're out the door.
00:22:19Then I can bow out gracefully.
00:22:21Mr. Merryman won't be mad at me.
00:22:23And then...
00:22:25It would just be like assembling a gingerbread house
00:22:28with little people inside.
00:22:31Joy, now you're starting to worry me.
00:22:34I'm gonna put together a perfect family.
00:22:36Mom, dad, kids, adoring husband.
00:22:38I mean, who wouldn't want to spend Christmas Eve
00:22:41pretending to be a fake family on TV?
00:22:43Uh, people with real lives.
00:22:45Opening presents with Tommy and Tori.
00:22:47Mom and Dad sipping eggnog by a roaring fireplace.
00:22:50Your fireplace doesn't work.
00:22:51I can borrow chickens, kids.
00:22:53Kids.
00:22:54Kids.
00:22:55How do I get kids?
00:22:57Oh, I'll hire actors.
00:22:59Wait, but what if I hire a mother
00:23:01who goes on to star in a movie as someone else's mother?
00:23:04Yeah, it's because that's highly likely.
00:23:06No, it's just it's gotta be somebody I can trust
00:23:08or have something over.
00:23:13What do you have on me?
00:23:15Just tell me you'll do it.
00:23:17Be my husband.
00:23:19Is this a proposal?
00:23:20Because if it is, it needs work.
00:23:22Come on, you already have the name.
00:23:24Yeah, what about all the other Maxes?
00:23:26Nobody knows me like you do.
00:23:28You're the only person in the world who really gets me.
00:23:31Do we need a prenup?
00:23:32I don't if you don't.
00:23:34Put a kiss on camera.
00:23:35I suppose.
00:23:36Can we practice now?
00:23:37Let's just wing it.
00:23:41Okay, I'm it.
00:23:43Really?
00:23:44Yes, I will marry you and stay married to you till dessert do us part.
00:23:50Mr. Joy Edwards, you just made me the happiest woman on earth.
00:23:54You're welcome.
00:23:55You're welcome.
00:23:56I know.
00:23:57Hello.
00:23:58Oh, no.
00:23:59Hello.
00:24:00You're welcome.
00:24:01I'm welcome.
00:24:02I'm welcome.
00:24:03Look at the house.
00:24:05We're welcome.
00:24:07Honey, baby.
00:24:08It's awesome.
00:24:09I'm welcome.
00:24:10Please keep the money on your own.
00:24:12So, I'm ready.
00:24:13Please keep the money on your own.
00:24:14Please keep the money on your own.
00:24:15What do you want?
00:24:18Good morning, Marta.
00:24:36You made coffee.
00:24:37It was my day.
00:24:41Too strong.
00:24:43Again.
00:24:44Do you have a minute?
00:24:48We have a situation.
00:24:51You have a situation.
00:24:52I saw it.
00:24:54All of this phony baloney stuff, I knew it would catch up with you.
00:24:58I appreciate your concern, but I think we can get through this.
00:25:01Again, no we.
00:25:05What are you doing on Christmas Eve?
00:25:08My brother and his wife are having a party.
00:25:10You don't like your brother.
00:25:12Because he's a mooch, and his wife is a social climber.
00:25:15But they have an indoor pool.
00:25:17I have a better offer.
00:25:19I'm listening.
00:25:20It might not seem better at first.
00:25:22It's more of a favor.
00:25:25I want you to be my mother.
00:25:28What?
00:25:28For the show.
00:25:30One night.
00:25:30Not even a night.
00:25:32A dinner.
00:25:33Who's going to believe I'm old enough to be your mother?
00:25:37You had me when you were very young.
00:25:41And if I do this, what's in it for me?
00:25:45A race.
00:25:45A race won't be necessary.
00:25:51Because I'd like to retire.
00:25:54Oh.
00:25:56Yeah, of course.
00:25:57Um, yeah, if that's what you want.
00:25:59With a generous holiday bonus and a retirement package for my years of devoted service.
00:26:03I wouldn't have it any other way.
00:26:09Let's put it in writing.
00:26:12After all these years, you don't trust me?
00:26:15I don't trust anyone.
00:26:16But we're practically family.
00:26:19In that case, you can do the dishes.
00:26:21Henry!
00:26:27It's Hawk.
00:26:34Is that the name on your driver's license?
00:26:36Is that the name on your driver's license?
00:26:38Oh, I didn't know they were giving those out to 15-year-olds.
00:26:41Your dad must be so proud and so generous of him to be letting you drive his car while
00:26:48he's out of town.
00:26:49Oh, Aspen, isn't it?
00:26:52Look, I'm sorry for knocking over your Christmas display.
00:26:55And I'll stop skateboarding in your yard.
00:26:58If you cut me some slack, I will shovel your driveway for the rest of the winter.
00:27:03Hmm.
00:27:04Did your nanny put you up to this?
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:08Mm-hmm.
00:27:10That won't be necessary.
00:27:13That is so chill.
00:27:15I swear, you'll never see me again.
00:27:17Oh, no, no, no.
00:27:18Not so fast.
00:27:19In an hour, bring your sister.
00:27:23All right, let's just cut to the chase.
00:27:25I am hosting a live TV special here on Christmas Eve, and I need you to pose as my family.
00:27:30I'm going to be on TV.
00:27:33What's the home cooking channel?
00:27:35Recurring or guest shop?
00:27:36Just one night.
00:27:37But it can turn into more, like a spinoff?
00:27:39Why aren't you using your real family?
00:27:41You're on a need-to-know basis, kid.
00:27:43It's okay.
00:27:45The truth is, I don't have one.
00:27:47You're pulling a con job?
00:27:49Cool.
00:27:51What?
00:27:52We're all thinking in.
00:27:53I was raised in foster homes.
00:27:56A lot of them.
00:27:57I've basically been on my own ever since.
00:28:00I'm so sorry, Joy.
00:28:02Oh, no, it was a long time ago.
00:28:04I thought I'd have a family.
00:28:06I wanted a family.
00:28:07And then there was a book, and then there was another book, and another book, and...
00:28:11And now you're caught?
00:28:12Just like you, driving without a license.
00:28:15You took Dad's car again?
00:28:16I'm telling.
00:28:17Go ahead.
00:28:18You were Mom's makeup.
00:28:19Hey, there is no fighting at the Edwards house.
00:28:22Dude, you really haven't been around a real family.
00:28:25It's not dude.
00:28:27It's Mom.
00:28:28Question?
00:28:29Who's our dad?
00:28:31Me and the old ball and chain here.
00:28:33I mean your lovely mother.
00:28:36We've got to run down some deets, so listen up.
00:28:38Sabrina, you will be our adorable daughter, Tori.
00:28:42I could work with that.
00:28:44And you will be our thoughtful son, Tommy.
00:28:47Tommy.
00:28:48Can't I get a cooler name?
00:28:49No.
00:28:50And you're 13, so you'd better shave.
00:28:5213?
00:28:54Mom, you taught me my first recipe.
00:28:58And Dad, you put up with Mom.
00:29:01What's our relationship like?
00:29:03Strained.
00:29:05Just like my first marriage.
00:29:07I'm not surprised.
00:29:09This is starting to sound like a real family.
00:29:11Yeah.
00:29:12I remember the first time we met.
00:29:15We're 19 years old.
00:29:16It was love at first sight.
00:29:19Well, for her, anyway.
00:29:20It took me a little longer.
00:29:22We eloped to Maui.
00:29:25Got it right there on the beach.
00:29:27Sorry, Mom, Dad.
00:29:28You were there in spirit.
00:29:29I would have liked to have been invited.
00:29:31But you saved us from shutting out for the wedding.
00:29:35My wife and I make bicker from time to time,
00:29:39but that's only because we love each other so much.
00:29:41Oh, and, uh, we're the kind of couple
00:29:46that can't keep our hands off each other.
00:29:48Gross.
00:29:51Uh, okay.
00:29:52And you are going to learn the highlighted sections
00:29:56with your names
00:29:58because we got three days to make this right.
00:30:04And you are going to learn the highlights.
00:30:34You have a visitor.
00:30:46Who is it?
00:30:49Josh.
00:30:49Okay, well, it took some convincing, and if I'm being completely honest, some money and
00:30:53a free air fryer, but my family is yours for the holiday.
00:30:58What?
00:30:59Now, my brother is single and a bit socially awkward, but he agreed to be her husband as
00:31:02long as he has to talk.
00:31:03Josh.
00:31:03Don't need to thank me.
00:31:04A few caveats.
00:31:06My mom could be a bit critical, and dad suffers from dysphagia.
00:31:10Josh, I've got this.
00:31:12You do?
00:31:12She does.
00:31:13I do.
00:31:15Okay.
00:31:16Because my family's frigging nuts.
00:31:21Oh, no.
00:31:23That means I get them for Christmas Eve.
00:31:25Happy holidays, Josh.
00:31:27Please take them.
00:31:29I'll give you an air fryer.
00:31:30I've decided against renting chickens, but I definitely am going to need brown eggs from
00:31:39Rhode Island Reds.
00:31:40What about red eggs from Rhode Island Browns?
00:31:42I need to clean out the coop.
00:31:44I need to get a dining room table.
00:31:46I need to get kids' bedroom sets.
00:31:48I need to get dollhouses and footballs.
00:31:52Oh, my God.
00:31:52How am I going to fill an entire house in a few days?
00:31:56You don't need to fill the entire house with the living room.
00:31:58Clothes off the whole house like a crime scene.
00:32:01No.
00:32:02Hmm.
00:32:02This is why I fake married you.
00:32:05Love ain't a grand.
00:32:07Soil, pots, winter vegetables, flowers, stocking stuffers.
00:32:11Stocking stuffers?
00:32:12Yeah, unfortunately, we have to make them unless we buy pre-made gifts that look like they
00:32:20were handmade.
00:32:21What am I getting?
00:32:23Needlepoint.
00:32:24Oh.
00:32:27I found these old pictures of us.
00:32:33Good luck.
00:32:34Yeah.
00:32:35Hmm.
00:32:35Do you remember we went to that Christmas party and you were wearing a velvet suit?
00:32:39Yeah.
00:32:42Yeah, you had the big hair and that black dress.
00:32:45We spent the whole night in that old arcade playing Miss Pac-Man.
00:32:50Whatever happened to Miss Pac-Man?
00:32:52Oh, well, I mean, she got married.
00:32:55To Mr. Pac-Man.
00:32:56One can only hope.
00:32:58To Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man.
00:33:04Oh, I forgot.
00:33:07I have something for you.
00:33:09You shouldn't have.
00:33:12I didn't.
00:33:12It's an old earring hoop.
00:33:15It may turn your finger green, so don't get it wet.
00:33:20I didn't.
00:33:21You think it's big enough?
00:33:33It's tradition.
00:33:34The Edwards family always gets a ten-foot tree.
00:33:38A live ten-foot tree that they plant in the yard after New Year's.
00:33:42Oh, I forgot wreaths.
00:33:47Go ahead.
00:33:47I got this.
00:33:53Max?
00:33:55Hey there.
00:33:57Uh, you?
00:33:59I've been messaging.
00:34:00Yeah, yeah.
00:34:01Um, so I'm sorry.
00:34:04I've just been really busy, so.
00:34:05I thought we had a connection.
00:34:06Um, yeah.
00:34:08Look, you were really sweet.
00:34:10Oh my God.
00:34:11Is that a wedding ring?
00:34:13No.
00:34:14Well, I mean, yes, but it's really interesting.
00:34:16What, you would just take it off before you came to the bakery?
00:34:19Uh, no.
00:34:21It's complicated.
00:34:22You're unbelievable.
00:34:23Mm, should I ask?
00:34:31Right, you didn't.
00:34:32Do these look homemade to you?
00:34:36And I was thinking we bring in the table from outside for dinner.
00:34:42You mean that rotted ping-pong table?
00:34:44Oh, which will be covered with a festive tablecloth from the Joy Edwards Holiday Collection.
00:34:51Chairs.
00:34:51Drape the lawn furniture and give the room a neoclassical, boho, Christmas feel.
00:35:04You're really good at this.
00:35:08Let's get some takeout.
00:35:10Nope.
00:35:10I'm cooking.
00:35:16Oh, yeah.
00:35:19Can I ask you something?
00:35:20Anything.
00:35:22Back in the city, you go out a lot.
00:35:26I've had my share of first dates.
00:35:29And second dates?
00:35:30I'm still looking for that second date girl.
00:35:33But how can you tell in just one date?
00:35:35I can tell in the first ten seconds if it's right or not.
00:35:37Ten seconds?
00:35:38Yeah.
00:35:39Look, I don't want to waste anyone's time anymore.
00:35:42When you know, you know.
00:35:46Don't look at me.
00:35:48I'm married and raising kids.
00:35:50Excuses, excuses.
00:35:58Are they...
00:36:00excuses?
00:36:01What do you mean?
00:36:04Maybe there's a possibility that you went along with this fake family thing to avoid having
00:36:11a real one.
00:36:13No.
00:36:14It was to sell books.
00:36:16What did you think would happen?
00:36:17I didn't think anything would happen.
00:36:19I didn't think I'd sell any.
00:36:21Well, I mean, before the books, though.
00:36:23You were always too busy working.
00:36:26Fame is a joy.
00:36:28Friend zone card.
00:36:29I'm sorry.
00:36:33I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:36:36No, you're right.
00:36:37In my experience, every time I let myself get close to somebody, they just get taken away.
00:36:44So let me get this straight.
00:36:47You only have relationships.
00:36:50With people you don't feel anything for.
00:36:55They can't hurt me.
00:36:59Not everybody can be as lucky as Mr. and Ms. Pac-Man.
00:37:12Joy.
00:37:17I...
00:37:17I just, um...
00:37:22What I wanted to say was...
00:37:27I wanted to tell you that, uh...
00:37:34I really...
00:37:43Tell him you're having dinner with your husband.
00:37:50Tell me you're calling to say that the show's been cancelled.
00:37:57Nope.
00:37:58I'm calling to tell you that Merriman's coming to Goose Lane tomorrow night.
00:38:01What?
00:38:02Why?
00:38:03If he wants to make sure everything's on track with you and the family.
00:38:06It is, isn't it?
00:38:09I'd call it more of a winding road.
00:38:11Get it on track.
00:38:12You can do this.
00:38:15Joy Edwards.
00:38:16Oh, God.
00:38:17I'm really starting to hate Joy Edwards.
00:38:23Okay.
00:38:24What were you saying?
00:38:26Doesn't matter.
00:38:30Okay, well.
00:38:32I'll go rinse these.
00:38:34What about dessert?
00:38:35There'll be dessert tomorrow.
00:38:36I'm really starting to hate Joy Edwards, too.
00:38:47Oh, you brought coffee on my day?
00:38:50I made it for myself.
00:38:52It was extra.
00:38:55Since when do you sew?
00:38:58Martza, you know I do.
00:38:59It's been so long, it must have slipped my mind.
00:39:02Good morning.
00:39:03Good morning.
00:39:04I brought some extra Christmas decorations for you.
00:39:07You sure your parents won't mind?
00:39:09They're not back until New Year's.
00:39:11Anybody home?
00:39:12Up here.
00:39:14Hey, why is this place called Goose Lane?
00:39:16I've never seen a goose around here.
00:39:18Well, when I first bought the place, there was a whole family.
00:39:23Then when I started the renovations, they flew away.
00:39:25And I thought when the house was ready, they'd come back, but they never did.
00:39:31Grandpa's here.
00:39:31Hi, Grandpa.
00:39:34You guys, thank you so much for doing this.
00:39:38I know that decorating for Christmas goes way beyond the scope of family.
00:39:42Actually, it is what families do.
00:39:46Not ours.
00:39:47We used to.
00:39:49Now they hire people.
00:39:50Well, the Edwards do it differently.
00:39:57Let's do this.
00:39:59What am I doing?
00:40:01Whoosh.
00:40:02You are doing great.
00:40:04You are a natural, dear.
00:40:08Oh.
00:40:11I'm going to go get the others.
00:40:11All right.
00:40:20Boom.
00:40:26You might as well try it.
00:40:30All right.
00:40:30Yes!
00:40:34There you go.
00:40:45Okay.
00:40:49Perfect.
00:40:49All right, here, all right.
00:40:55Does this look homemade to you?
00:40:57I guess.
00:41:01What's this?
00:41:03Uh, a cell phone holder, I think,
00:41:06or a golf tee holder.
00:41:09In your books, you make all the stocking stuffers.
00:41:12Yeah, that was before.
00:41:14Before you became really important?
00:41:16Uh, well, here's the thing, Sabrina.
00:41:19Tori, I'm in character.
00:41:21Right.
00:41:22Sometimes when you're creating yourself,
00:41:25you might lose a little of yourself, too.
00:41:28Well, I'm gonna be just like you.
00:41:31Pretty sure you can find a better role model.
00:41:34Oh, do you want to see the pictures?
00:41:35Yes.
00:41:42Oh, come on.
00:41:46You might want to put this one up front.
00:41:48It's my headshot.
00:41:53You look so grown up.
00:41:57You don't want to grow up too fast, though.
00:42:01Hey, have you ever made pinecone napkin holders?
00:42:06You're in for a treat.
00:42:11All right.
00:42:12So what does she have on you?
00:42:16What do you mean?
00:42:18She's got dirt on you, right?
00:42:20No dirt.
00:42:22Then why are you doing this?
00:42:25Sometimes you do things for people.
00:42:29Ah.
00:42:30I get it.
00:42:32There's nothing to get.
00:42:34Sure there isn't, dude.
00:42:35We're friends.
00:42:37Gotcha.
00:42:38Friends.
00:42:39Yeah, what do you know?
00:42:40You're 13.
00:42:4115.
00:42:42Yeah, well, you stay in your lane.
00:42:45If my math is correct, I've delivered Joy's mail over 1,800 times.
00:42:52And I've cleaned this house for six years.
00:42:55Minus weekends and days off, plus Wednesdays and Fridays when it's Joy's turn.
00:42:58You get Wednesdays, Fridays and weekends off.
00:43:01Mm-hmm.
00:43:02I'm in the wrong business.
00:43:03Feel free to take my place.
00:43:04I'm retiring.
00:43:06Really?
00:43:07Mm-hmm.
00:43:08Right after Christmas dinner.
00:43:09And I am not doing the dishes either.
00:43:11Although I rarely do.
00:43:12That's Joy's job.
00:43:13I've thought of retiring.
00:43:14I just don't know what I'd do with myself.
00:43:17Well, I'm moving someplace warm.
00:43:19Oh, if I might make a suggestion, uh, 33195, 85701, and, uh, 92234.
00:43:31What are those?
00:43:33Zip codes.
00:43:34Miami, Tucson, Palm Springs.
00:43:38All right.
00:43:39Whoever collects the most pine cones in 30 seconds wins.
00:43:42One, two, three, go!
00:43:47You know, when I first started, she did everything herself.
00:43:51The gardening, the chickens, the decorating.
00:43:55And she cooked like a dream.
00:43:58Why'd she stop?
00:43:59No one to cook for.
00:44:01You can't exactly have people over under the circumstances.
00:44:05Yeah, well, things in our life, if we have, are nothing.
00:44:10If we have no one to share them with.
00:44:15Do you have someone?
00:44:20I used to.
00:44:24I did too.
00:44:35Hey, I just realized we're actually getting along.
00:44:45Yeah.
00:44:46Do you think we're gonna be friends one day?
00:44:48Maybe in, like, 20 years.
00:44:51Maybe I won't tell Dad you drove his car.
00:44:54Thanks.
00:44:56But he can still check the odometer.
00:44:58I only went around the block.
00:44:59No, you didn't.
00:45:00You went by Glenna Green's house three times.
00:45:02Did not.
00:45:03Yes, you did.
00:45:04Her little brother saw you.
00:45:05Well, he's wrong.
00:45:09Do you think Max and Giora are just friends?
00:45:12Are you kidding?
00:45:13The dude's, like, totally in love with her.
00:45:14You see the way he looks at her when he thinks she's not looking?
00:45:16That's how you know.
00:45:18Interesting.
00:45:19I thought I saw her look at him like that,
00:45:21but then she just pretended she was knitting.
00:45:24Old people are weird.
00:45:25If I liked a girl, I'd just tell her.
00:45:27That's not true.
00:45:28You like Glenna Green and you barely talk to her.
00:45:31I don't like her.
00:45:33Yes, you do.
00:45:34You wrote her name in your notebook with a heart.
00:45:37So now you're snooping in my room.
00:45:39Now?
00:45:40I've been doing it since I was three.
00:45:41Got another one.
00:45:42Got another one.
00:46:09I think we need more.
00:46:11We don't want to look like cheapskates.
00:46:13Well, on the other hand, we don't want to look like the kind of parents that spoil our kids.
00:46:16No, we would never spoil our kids.
00:46:18It's true.
00:46:19So what, five more boxes?
00:46:21Mmm, ten more.
00:46:24Big ones!
00:46:25Super close.
00:46:26Like, huddled together.
00:46:28Get super, super close.
00:46:29Yes!
00:46:30Yes!
00:46:31How can't my family split?
00:46:33Yes!
00:46:34Here we go.
00:46:36Okay, I got it.
00:46:37Get down, get down.
00:46:38I can't see you.
00:46:39I can't see you.
00:46:40I can't see you.
00:46:41Grandpa, get closer to Grandma.
00:46:42Now listen, you guys.
00:46:43I know what I'm doing here, okay?
00:46:44I want the kids on the floor.
00:46:45I don't think that.
00:46:46I don't think that.
00:46:47Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:46:48Okay.
00:46:49Okay.
00:46:50All right, all right.
00:46:51So we got a friend.
00:46:52All right, guys.
00:46:53Five seconds.
00:46:54Looks good.
00:46:55Okay.
00:46:56Okay.
00:46:57Five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:01Merry Christmas!
00:47:06That was so lovely.
00:47:09Right?
00:47:10Yes.
00:47:11Hey, Hawk.
00:47:12I know.
00:47:13What's on your shirt?
00:47:14Oh!
00:47:15Dude!
00:47:16Dude!
00:47:17It's on!
00:47:18Hey!
00:47:19Uh-oh.
00:47:20Uh-oh.
00:47:21Oh!
00:47:22Dude!
00:47:23Dude!
00:47:24It's on!
00:47:25Hey!
00:47:26Uh-oh.
00:47:27Oh, let the good vibes run ahead.
00:47:32Can you look outside and see the snowman
00:47:36Santa's on the way.
00:47:38Lincoln Brownie said that it is almost nearly Christmas.
00:47:44When we're too good at night.
00:47:49Together it's Christmas time.
00:47:52There's nothing better.
00:47:55Everything just feels so right.
00:47:58When we're together.
00:48:01Together it's Christmas time.
00:48:04This magic night.
00:48:08We'll leave our minds together it's Christmas time.
00:48:14Oh my god, Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:15Mr. Merriman?
00:48:16Hi!
00:48:17Hi!
00:48:18Hi, Mr. Merriman.
00:48:19So this is Goose Lane, huh?
00:48:20Oh my god, Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:22Mr. Merriman?
00:48:23Hi!
00:48:24Hi, Mr. Merriman.
00:48:25Hi!
00:48:26Hi, Mr. Merriman.
00:48:27So this is Goose Lane, huh?
00:48:28I'm surprised I've never been here.
00:48:29Uh, I wasn't expecting you this early.
00:48:30No, I should have called.
00:48:31The good news is, you're featured on the show.
00:48:34Oh my god, Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:35Oh my god, Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:36Mr. Merriman.
00:48:37Oh my god, Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:38Mr. Merriman.
00:48:39Hi!
00:48:40Hi, Mr. Merriman.
00:48:41So this is Goose Lane, huh?
00:48:42I'm surprised I've never been here.
00:48:43Uh, I wasn't expecting you this early.
00:48:44No, I...
00:48:45I should have called.
00:48:46The good news is, you're featured in the Times Food section tomorrow.
00:48:49Wow.
00:48:50Mm-hmm.
00:48:51So this must be Mr. Edwards.
00:48:52Ah, call me Max.
00:48:53Nobody calls me Mr. Edwards.
00:48:54Literally.
00:48:55Oh, that was good.
00:48:56Ah.
00:48:57Ah.
00:48:58Ah.
00:48:59Ah.
00:49:00Ah.
00:49:01Ah.
00:49:02Ah.
00:49:03Ah.
00:49:04Ah.
00:49:05Ah.
00:49:06Ah.
00:49:07Ah.
00:49:08Ah.
00:49:09Ah.
00:49:10Ah.
00:49:11Ah.
00:49:12Ah.
00:49:13Ah.
00:49:14Will you excuse me for a minute?
00:49:17I'm gonna...
00:49:18Yeah.
00:49:19Hey!
00:49:20Shh!
00:49:21Look, I apologize.
00:49:23Uh, they're not usually like this.
00:49:25No.
00:49:26They remind me of my own family.
00:49:28My kids are grown now, but I wouldn't have missed those times for anything.
00:49:32Hmm.
00:49:33Now, I know that I sprung this show on you, but I think you're gonna do just fine.
00:49:39Well, I've seen all I need to.
00:49:40Are you sure you don't want to come in?
00:49:41No.
00:49:42My driver's out front.
00:49:43I only have today to find my wife the perfect gift.
00:49:44If I might offer some advice.
00:49:45There is a crack in everything, Joy.
00:49:46That's how the light gets in.
00:49:47Merry Christmas.
00:49:48Merry Christmas.
00:49:49Merry Christmas.
00:49:50I'll do it.
00:49:51I'll do it.
00:49:52I'll do it.
00:49:53I'll do it.
00:49:54I'll do it.
00:49:55Sorry.
00:49:56All right.
00:49:57You're sorry.
00:49:58All right.
00:49:59I'll do it.
00:50:00I'll do it.
00:50:01I'll do it.
00:50:02I'll do it.
00:50:03All right.
00:50:05Oh, I'll do it.
00:50:06Just chill.
00:50:08I'll do it.
00:50:09I'll do it.
00:50:14I'll do it.
00:50:15It's good.
00:50:16What's more?
00:50:17I'll do it.
00:50:18Hey, were you up all night? I saw the lights on. I brought you some...
00:50:37What's this?
00:50:39Your gallery.
00:50:41You mean the Mr. Joy Edwards gallery?
00:50:45By appointment only, soon to be seen by a TV audience.
00:50:49A cooking show audience.
00:50:50A hungry audience.
00:50:55I should be thanking you.
00:50:56Okay.
00:51:08You two are gonna have excellent on-screen chemistry.
00:51:13Uh, Max, you should pick up the desserts because the bakery closes early on the holiday.
00:51:19Bakery by the tree lot?
00:51:21Oh.
00:51:23Don't worry. I got it.
00:51:25Can I drive? I have my permit.
00:51:27Show it to me.
00:51:35Never drive before?
00:51:36Whenever his parents are out of town.
00:51:38I'm good. They just never let me.
00:51:43Let's go, kid.
00:51:48Create some recipes and start some tradition.
00:51:50You'll find your meals and your life improving.
00:51:52Who said that?
00:51:53You did. Volume one.
00:51:55Wow. You memorized that?
00:51:58You know, you're like the only person who isn't being paid to be with me.
00:52:00Oh, that can't be true.
00:52:02My parents are always with clients.
00:52:03They FaceTime me every morning to tell me they love me.
00:52:05But they're never around.
00:52:06Well, of course they love you. How could they not?
00:52:09You're an amazing young lady.
00:52:10Really?
00:52:11Yeah.
00:52:12If I had a daughter, I'd want her to be just like you.
00:52:14Oh.
00:52:16Oh.
00:52:17Oh.
00:52:18Let's get in and out.
00:52:21I can't get out that empty.
00:52:22You know, for sure.
00:52:24How could they not?
00:52:25You're an amazing young lady.
00:52:27Really?
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29If I had a daughter, I'd want her to be just like you.
00:52:31Let's get in and out, because I want to drive.
00:52:45Uh, well, let's get the food home first, and then I'll find a parking lot, and you can drive around.
00:52:50That's not driving.
00:52:51Well, it's all the time I have.
00:52:54Sound like my dad.
00:52:55Hey, hey, come here.
00:53:01You can drive home.
00:53:08Deal?
00:53:09Deal.
00:53:12All right, kid.
00:53:18Oh!
00:53:20What are you doing?
00:53:23Sorry.
00:53:23Uh...
00:53:28It's already ordered two pies.
00:53:31It's a cake, and a yule walker.
00:53:33Yeah, I know that.
00:53:34You've got it.
00:53:35Let's go get it.
00:53:38No.
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:42There's...
00:53:43There's someone in there I don't want to see.
00:53:46Great.
00:53:46Who?
00:53:48Oh, it's your girlfriend, isn't it?
00:53:51No.
00:53:52Yeah, well, who could it be?
00:53:53It's a girl.
00:53:54It's a girl.
00:53:55It's a girl.
00:53:56She...
00:53:57Remember when it said stay in your own lane?
00:54:00This is the time.
00:54:01Stay in your own lane,
00:54:03or you lose driving privileges, okay?
00:54:05So you can go get that food.
00:54:07I'll stick you in the parking lot, all right?
00:54:09Go, just...
00:54:10Go get the food!
00:54:11What are you chatting, kid?
00:54:28Come on.
00:54:30Chatting.
00:54:30Got it.
00:54:35You forgot your yule log.
00:54:41Hey!
00:54:42You.
00:54:43Oh, I'm sorry.
00:54:45That's also mine.
00:54:46Oh, it's all yours.
00:54:46Just put it right there on top.
00:54:49Dad, let's go!
00:54:51You have a kid, too?
00:54:53It's the neighbor's kid.
00:54:54Are you kidding me?
00:54:56Dad, come on!
00:54:57Run.
00:54:58Go.
00:54:59You disgust me!
00:55:00I can't believe you!
00:55:02You're a horrible man!
00:55:03I hope you have a lousy Christmas!
00:55:06I am.
00:55:07You know what?
00:55:08Does your wife know about this kid?
00:55:09Hey.
00:55:10Sign over.
00:55:11You said I could drive.
00:55:12Everybody's watching.
00:55:13Hold down.
00:55:14No, now.
00:55:14You're right.
00:55:15You're right.
00:55:15Okay?
00:55:16I hope that yule log falls in the fire or something!
00:55:22Okay.
00:55:24Okay.
00:55:26All right.
00:55:28Ooh, we are doing this.
00:55:31Yes, we are.
00:55:32Lots of stuff.
00:55:33Great.
00:55:34Where's Max?
00:55:35He's getting dressed.
00:55:36Ah, yeah.
00:55:36You guys should go get ready, too, actually.
00:55:38They're gonna be here soon.
00:55:39You got it.
00:55:41You can have a bed.
00:55:42Hey.
00:55:43Don't be talking with your mouth full.
00:55:45Now, scoot.
00:55:45Scoot.
00:55:55In the kitchen.
00:55:56Hi, Mom.
00:55:59I'm going to go.
00:56:00Wow.
00:56:00Wow.
00:56:01Wow.
00:56:02Oh, you look beautiful.
00:56:07Looking good, Mamacita.
00:56:11And I'm still not sure about that lipstick, Joy.
00:56:14Marta, leave the girl alone.
00:56:16Yes, dear.
00:56:17You look better than the family in my books.
00:56:27You look better than the family in my books.
00:56:39Yeah, those posers don't hold a candle to us.
00:56:41You don't think I look washed out without makeup?
00:56:45Oh, you look beautiful.
00:56:48I shaved.
00:56:50You know, just slouch a little.
00:56:54Nah, we'll just tell them you had a growth spurt.
00:56:57Merry Christmas.
00:57:00Merry Christmas.
00:57:06Okay.
00:57:07The cameras are going to be here soon.
00:57:09So everybody just be yourselves.
00:57:11But don't.
00:57:27Joy, we can do this.
00:57:48We can.
00:57:49Nothing's going to go wrong.
00:57:51Nothing.
00:57:53Let's go.
00:57:57Hi.
00:57:59Where can I touch up my glam?
00:58:01Almost done with your mic.
00:58:05You ready, Steve?
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:08All right, Joy.
00:58:08It's showtime.
00:58:09Let's go, Steve.
00:58:27I hope you're ready, world, because we're getting a behind-the-scenes look into the magical Christmas world of Joy Edwards.
00:58:37Come on.
00:58:38Come on.
00:58:38Welcome, welcome, welcome to Goose Lane.
00:58:51Merry Christmas.
00:58:53Merry Christmas.
00:58:54Yeah.
00:58:56Joy, it's just as you described it.
00:59:01Oh, well, I wouldn't make it up.
00:59:06What a treat.
00:59:08Come on in.
00:59:09All right.
00:59:10We like to grow our own winter vegetables, some of which we'll be eating tonight.
00:59:17So fresh.
00:59:20Finally, the beloved Goose Lane chicken coop.
00:59:24Oh, you better stay back.
00:59:27The Reds get a feisty around the holidays.
00:59:30All right.
00:59:39Oh, angry chickens.
00:59:43Wow.
00:59:44All right.
00:59:58Wow.
00:59:59Yes.
01:00:00So these eggs will be found in the stuffing and my holiday scramble on Christmas morning.
01:00:07It doesn't get any fresher than this.
01:00:10Hmm?
01:00:10Hmm.
01:00:10Oh, the secret to my turkey, brining.
01:00:19I do it for two days.
01:00:21Oh.
01:00:22Wow.
01:00:23Looks like we have company, huh?
01:00:25Yeah.
01:00:26Hey, honey.
01:00:29Um, Max is the guinea pig for all my recipes.
01:00:33Oh.
01:00:34And I'm still alive.
01:00:35As long as you don't mess up cutting the turkey.
01:00:38Oh, you two are just like newlyweds.
01:00:41It's like we were married yesterday.
01:00:43Um, why don't we go meet the rest of the family?
01:00:51And this is Tommy and Tori.
01:00:57A pleasure to be on the show, Liza.
01:00:59I'm a big fan.
01:01:00Thank you, Tori.
01:01:01Tommy, how old are you?
01:01:03Thirteen.
01:01:04Really?
01:01:05I grew four inches last week.
01:01:07Month.
01:01:07Year.
01:01:08And, of course, what would Christmas be without Mom and Dad?
01:01:13From what I've read, you two live close.
01:01:1706831.
01:01:19Dad's always been very fascinated with zip codes.
01:01:22And I still marry them anyway.
01:01:25Well, nothing moves the male quicker, especially around Christmas time.
01:01:28That's enough, dear.
01:01:29Oh, wow.
01:01:34My husband painted everything here.
01:01:38Now this one I love.
01:01:43Max Stranlin?
01:01:44Oh, that's his maiden name.
01:01:47I would love one of these in my home.
01:01:49You can have one.
01:01:50Everything here is for sale.
01:01:52Well, except the one over the mantle.
01:01:54Max painted that one for me.
01:01:55I'll paint you another one.
01:01:56Look, anything you like.
01:01:58If you see it, I'll take it off the wall and put it right in your car.
01:02:02Right now.
01:02:04Joy, your earrings are gorgeous.
01:02:07Oh, thank you.
01:02:08You know, they get so heavy, I need a break.
01:02:11Oh, I get it.
01:02:12So, this is my favorite part.
01:02:14We open presents on Christmas morning, but it's a long-standing tradition that we exchange
01:02:23handmade gifts on Christmas Eve.
01:02:25That is beautiful.
01:02:27Can I help?
01:02:28Yes, please.
01:02:32Wow.
01:02:33A hand-knit scarf?
01:02:41Same here.
01:02:44Him too?
01:02:47Just what he needs for those long neighborhood walks.
01:02:50Yeah, well, maybe he'll come with me next time, dear.
01:02:54Nice beanie.
01:02:58All my favorite recipes.
01:02:59All right.
01:03:07Antique paintbrushes.
01:03:09Okay, I didn't make them, but I saw them and I thought of you.
01:03:12I love them.
01:03:16You haven't opened your stocking yet, Joy.
01:03:18Yeah, open it.
01:03:20Let's see what they got you.
01:03:21Okay.
01:03:25Oh, a chopstick holder.
01:03:29It's just what I wanted.
01:03:32Whoa, hey, hey, hey.
01:03:33Wait a second, son.
01:03:35Would you?
01:03:36Interesting gift.
01:03:38Sorry, Mom.
01:03:39We were just messing with you, since you're always honest about laundry.
01:03:43Yeah, you're naughty and nice, you know.
01:03:45Dad's kids for you.
01:03:47You guys are the best parents I've ever had.
01:03:49Expecting company?
01:03:56It's a little early for Santa.
01:04:06I got it.
01:04:07Oh, no, no, no.
01:04:08Let me.
01:04:09Why don't you take everyone to the table?
01:04:13Okay.
01:04:14Who's hungry?
01:04:15I know I am.
01:04:16Okay.
01:04:17Well, you know, it's probably that neighbor bringing some holiday cheer.
01:04:25Are you Max's wife?
01:04:56Ah, it is so sweet of you to stop by.
01:04:59As one woman to another, I should tell you, he's come to the bakery several times without
01:05:03his wedding ring.
01:05:04What's in a ring?
01:05:06Five golden rings.
01:05:08He also lied about your son, said he was a neighbor's kid.
01:05:11Didn't you hear what I'm saying?
01:05:21Um, your husband is...
01:05:23And what better time for forgiveness than Christmas?
01:05:27You deserve each other.
01:05:29Oh, thank you.
01:05:32Thanks again for the poinsettia.
01:05:39Ginger?
01:05:40Ginger?
01:05:40Is she joining us?
01:05:49No, she's vegan.
01:05:51Oh.
01:05:54She's done it again.
01:05:56Joy Edwards, this looks beautiful.
01:05:58Oh, thank you.
01:06:00And while it looks like a lot of work was put into this, it was.
01:06:07The truth is, it doesn't matter how or where we celebrate the holiday.
01:06:16We could be sitting on lawn furniture, eating takeout.
01:06:20The important thing is that we're all together.
01:06:25Merry Christmas from the Edwards family.
01:06:28Merry Christmas.
01:06:32Yes.
01:06:34There we go.
01:06:38I have no idea what you're missing out on.
01:06:41Oh, here.
01:06:45With love.
01:06:47It's your specialty.
01:06:48Hey, have I ever told you guys about the first Christmas I spent with your mom?
01:06:54I don't think so.
01:06:55I'm sure you have.
01:06:56I've never heard it.
01:06:57No, no.
01:06:57Me neither.
01:06:58You've heard it.
01:06:59No, never.
01:07:00Dad, tell us.
01:07:01Look, inquiring minds want to know.
01:07:02Don't you?
01:07:03Don't you?
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I do.
01:07:07Listen.
01:07:08It was winter night, just like this one.
01:07:14Snow's falling down.
01:07:18I'm walking down the sidewalk.
01:07:21Then I saw her.
01:07:23She's coming my way.
01:07:25Hideous.
01:07:26Christmas sweater.
01:07:27Reindeer clips.
01:07:29Up in her hair.
01:07:30But I'll tell you.
01:07:33She was so beautiful.
01:07:38The first ten seconds I knew that she was going to be in my life.
01:07:43Forever.
01:07:45But you never told me that.
01:07:47Yeah, you know us artists.
01:07:49An eye for detail.
01:07:50Besides, you're pretty hard to forget.
01:08:02How touching.
01:08:04Can you pass the yams?
01:08:06So, we have a pumpkin pie, a Dutch apple, a Christmas cake, and my signature, Yule log.
01:08:20Oh.
01:08:37I got it.
01:08:38I got it.
01:08:39I got it.
01:08:43I'm sorry, Mom.
01:08:47Hi, that's our tummy.
01:08:50And, uh, yes, that is a ping pong table.
01:08:53It's okay, buddy.
01:08:53Because who doesn't love a DIY project?
01:08:57That's right.
01:08:58Uh, nothing goes to waste here at Hoos Lane.
01:09:02Uh, we preached that.
01:09:04Uh, uh, so, Tori.
01:09:05You remember that song you were singing earlier?
01:09:07We wish you a Merry Christmas.
01:09:11We wish you a Merry Christmas.
01:09:13We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
01:09:19So, Miss.
01:09:21Sabrina?
01:09:22Henry?
01:09:22Mom, you're supposed to be skiing.
01:09:23Your father twisted his ankle.
01:09:26Is that Frederick our mailman?
01:09:29I've taken early retirement.
01:09:31Okay.
01:09:32You're coming with me.
01:09:34Now, kill the cameras.
01:09:36I'm sorry, I can't.
01:09:36We're alive.
01:09:37And keep the cameras rolling, fellas.
01:09:39This is TV gold.
01:09:41Uh, like so many of you out there,
01:09:45we are a blended family.
01:09:48Tommy and Tori have two sets of parents,
01:09:51so that means it's double Christmases,
01:09:54and what could be better than that?
01:09:57Okay.
01:09:58Um, I don't know what's going on here,
01:10:01but, um, it's over.
01:10:04Come with me.
01:10:06My name is Sabrina Swinton,
01:10:10and I'm currently seeking representation.
01:10:12Sabrina!
01:10:12You can't!
01:10:13I'm sorry, Joy.
01:10:19Me too, honey.
01:10:21Gave it a shot.
01:10:25Well, uh,
01:10:27I'll be by tomorrow to pick up my check.
01:10:29Bye, Mom.
01:10:32Bye, Dad.
01:10:33Thanks for coming.
01:10:37Yeah, well,
01:10:38empty nest syndrome.
01:10:40I mean, we knew it was going to happen,
01:10:42just not so soon.
01:10:44Joy.
01:10:46We tried.
01:10:47Don't worry.
01:10:47Not until we dig into that yule log.
01:10:55Excuse me.
01:10:56Gotta love live TV.
01:11:01Joy.
01:11:02I know this is probably
01:11:04the worst time for this,
01:11:06but
01:11:06the water damage
01:11:09in my loft
01:11:09has been fixed for weeks.
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:16I'm still here because
01:11:17I don't want to be your friend.
01:11:19I don't want any more first dates
01:11:23or last dates.
01:11:25I know who I want to be with.
01:11:34Max,
01:11:34please just not now.
01:11:37Why not now?
01:11:39What are we waiting for?
01:11:42You told me
01:11:44not to settle for second best.
01:11:45I love you, Joy.
01:11:47I always have.
01:11:50I always will.
01:11:51You just say the word
01:11:52and we'll go back out there together.
01:12:01Joy.
01:12:04Joy.
01:12:17Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:20Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:23Okay.
01:12:23Okay.
01:12:23Okay.
01:12:24Okay.
01:12:24Okay.
01:12:24Okay.
01:12:25Okay.
01:12:25Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:26Okay.
01:12:27Okay.
01:12:27Okay.
01:12:27Okay.
01:12:28Okay.
01:12:29Okay.
01:12:29Okay.
01:12:30Okay.
01:12:31Okay.
01:12:32Okay.
01:12:35Okay.
01:12:36Okay.
01:12:37Okay.
01:12:38Okay.
01:12:39Okay.
01:12:40Okay.
01:12:41Okay.
01:12:42Okay.
01:12:43Okay.
01:12:44Hello, hi, so who wants dessert?
01:13:12Could you give me one minute?
01:13:18Of course.
01:13:20One minute.
01:13:22Bill, are you getting all of this?
01:13:25Max!
01:13:27Max!
01:13:30Max!
01:13:42Max!
01:13:46Max!
01:13:48Max!
01:13:50Max!
01:13:52Max!
01:13:54Max!
01:13:56Max!
01:13:58Max!
01:14:00Max!
01:14:02Max!
01:14:04Max!
01:14:20Max!
01:14:30Obvious by now that those weren't my kids or my parents.
01:14:35Max isn't my husband.
01:14:39The sounds you heard from the hen house, you too.
01:14:44The eggs are from the market, the plants from the nursery,
01:14:48the pies from the bakery.
01:14:51Even the name Goose Lane is a lie.
01:14:54There has not been a goose here since I moved in.
01:14:57Everything you saw here tonight was fake.
01:15:03Most of all, me.
01:15:07The truth is, I've never had a family.
01:15:10I don't even know what one is.
01:15:12At least I didn't until these last few days.
01:15:21I am sorry for pretending to be someone I'm not.
01:15:27The real Choi Edwards.
01:15:33Me.
01:15:37Is a fraud.
01:15:39Is a mess.
01:15:42And alone.
01:15:43No.
01:15:50Well.
01:15:54Happy holidays from Goose Lane.
01:15:59That's a wrap.
01:16:02I'm sorry, Joy.
01:16:03I'm sorry, Joy.
01:16:04Don't yell.
01:16:05It's Tea.
01:16:06Why?
01:16:07Where's my phone?
01:16:31Come on.
01:16:35Oh, here it is.
01:16:37Oh, here it is.
01:16:38Okay.
01:16:39Please, please, please, please, please.
01:16:42Pony, please.
01:16:57Oh.
01:17:01Oh.
01:17:31Hey, hey, are you up yet? Where are you?
01:17:47Hey, I'm in here.
01:17:53Merry Christmas.
01:17:57What are you two doing here?
01:17:59Well, you didn't think I was going to leave you with all this mess.
01:18:02A special delivery.
01:18:05On Christmas Day?
01:18:07Yeah, well, I know people.
01:18:12Oh.
01:18:17You guys, thank you.
01:18:19Oh, thank you.
01:18:22For giving us a family at Christmas so we wouldn't have to be alone.
01:18:29I know that I complain every now and then, but I consider myself lucky to work all these years with someone I consider a daughter.
01:18:39Oh, Marta.
01:18:40Even though I am way too young to be your mother.
01:18:42Oh, Marta.
01:18:46Oh, and I have not forgotten about your retirement package.
01:18:50Oh, no rush.
01:18:51I'll be traveling.
01:18:54Really?
01:18:55Mm-hmm.
01:18:56Freddie and I are going to be wintering in the 33427 area.
01:19:05That's Boca Raton.
01:19:07Uh, Marta has a timeshare.
01:19:09Whoa, wait.
01:19:10A timeshare?
01:19:11Honey, you've been overpaying me for years.
01:19:14Well, I'm glad something good came out of all this.
01:19:18Oh, God.
01:19:19Okay.
01:19:19What?
01:19:20You pull yourself together, go get the door, I got the dishes.
01:19:28All dry.
01:19:35Merry Christmas, Miss Edwards.
01:19:37Oh, we're way past Miss Edwards, Sabrina.
01:19:41And I owe you a huge apology, Grace.
01:19:45No, I actually owe you an apology, Joy.
01:19:48We've been so wrapped up in work,
01:19:50it took seeing you with the kids to realize
01:19:53that they need parents who are going to be there,
01:19:56and that's exactly what we're going to be from now on.
01:19:59So thank you.
01:20:03Um, do you want to come in for some leftovers?
01:20:05Oh, another time?
01:20:07Sabrina and I are going to make gingerbread houses today.
01:20:10And we're going to make all the recipes you gave me, too.
01:20:12And my dad's going to take me for a driving lesson.
01:20:15Oh, it sounds like the perfect Christmas.
01:20:17Yeah.
01:20:18You have a great Christmas, too.
01:20:22Bye-bye.
01:20:23Bye.
01:20:23Bye.
01:20:37Max, hey, it's me.
01:20:40It's like my tenth call before noon.
01:20:42Um, call me back.
01:20:45Okay, bye.
01:20:58Max.
01:21:00Max!
01:21:01Max!
01:21:04Mr. Merriman.
01:21:05I, uh, think we should probably talk, don't you?
01:21:13Look, before you say anything,
01:21:15I just want to tell you how sorry I am
01:21:17for ruining your Christmas
01:21:18and possibly your whole company.
01:21:21I'm going to make a statement
01:21:23saying you knew nothing about this.
01:21:25I really didn't mean to lie.
01:21:28It just snowballed,
01:21:29and I didn't know how to stop it.
01:21:31I know.
01:21:33I've known since the beginning, dear.
01:21:36We vet all our authors.
01:21:38It's just part of business.
01:21:40I've always gone with my guts.
01:21:42When you first came to me with that book,
01:21:45so original, so full of promise,
01:21:48I saw something in you.
01:21:50How could I turn that down?
01:21:53I'm guessing you wish you had now.
01:21:58Your books are about family and togetherness.
01:22:02That message means something,
01:22:03whether you have one or not.
01:22:06I've watched you all these years,
01:22:08hoping you'd find real love along the way.
01:22:11I thought, doing this show,
01:22:13maybe you'd see what you were missing.
01:22:16So you risked embarrassing
01:22:18the whole publishing house for me?
01:22:20Everything's a risk in this business.
01:22:22And in life.
01:22:23That's what makes it so rewarding.
01:22:26I don't know what to say, Mr. Merriman.
01:22:30Well, I do.
01:22:32Online sales went through the roof last night.
01:22:35The viewers loved you.
01:22:38Because you're not perfect.
01:22:40You're on the other side of perfect,
01:22:41just like the rest of us.
01:22:42And if you feel like writing this next chapter,
01:22:51Merriman Publishing would be happy
01:22:53and honored to publish it.
01:22:55No need to make the decision now.
01:22:58I'm guessing you have a few things to sort out.
01:23:03It might be too late for that.
01:23:04No, it's never too late.
01:23:06Especially on Christmas.
01:23:12Well, I'm due for some Christmas caroling,
01:23:16although I have the worst voice in the family.
01:23:18Oh, wait.
01:23:21Before I forget.
01:23:28For you.
01:23:35They're bookmarks.
01:23:37Handmade tassel.
01:23:39Metallic and cotton embroidery.
01:23:41Volume three.
01:23:42I'll treasure them.
01:23:55Merry Christmas.
01:23:57You too, Joy.
01:24:03Bye.
01:24:04Bye.
01:24:12You answered.
01:24:28Yeah, sorry.
01:24:30I've been trying to think of what to say.
01:24:32I'll be clear on my pains in just a little bit.
01:24:35Where are you?
01:24:37Out back.
01:24:37Max?
01:24:43Down here.
01:24:46The one above the fireplace is yours.
01:24:49I told the Manfred Gallery, it's not for sale.
01:24:53Wait, the Manfred Gallery?
01:24:56Isn't that...
01:24:56The best gallery in New York.
01:24:58Oh, my God.
01:25:00Wait, they're taking you.
01:25:01That's amazing.
01:25:02Apparently, Manfred's a foodie.
01:25:05He saw the show,
01:25:06and he's given me a window
01:25:07and he even bought one for himself.
01:25:09Oh, my God.
01:25:12That's so good.
01:25:16It's because of you.
01:25:18And, uh...
01:25:20You're a great friend, you know?
01:25:23What's wrong with...
01:25:25being great friends, right?
01:25:27We'll get coffee.
01:25:29No, I don't want to get coffee.
01:25:31And I can't be your friend.
01:25:33And all that stuff I said before,
01:25:36and mostly what I didn't say.
01:25:40The first ten seconds when I saw you walking down the sidewalk,
01:25:44I thought,
01:25:46hmm,
01:25:47now there's someone who could break my heart.
01:25:49So I just kept walking.
01:25:52Right?
01:25:53I didn't name my fake husband after the guy in The Exorcist.
01:25:56I named him after you.
01:25:58Because...
01:25:59it's the only time
01:26:02that I've ever let myself picture a future with someone.
01:26:06It's been with you.
01:26:09I love you.
01:26:12I always have,
01:26:13and I always will,
01:26:15and...
01:26:15I always have to go to the house.
01:26:16I always have to go to the house.
01:26:17I always have to go to the house.
01:26:18I always have to go to the house.
01:26:18I always have to go to the house.
01:26:19I always have to go to the house.
01:26:20I always have to go to the house.
01:26:21I always have to go to the house.
01:26:21I always have to go to the house.
01:26:22I always have to go to the house.
01:26:23I always have to go to the house.
01:26:24I always have to go to the house.
01:26:25I always have to go to the house.
01:26:26I always have to go to the house.
01:26:27I always have to go to the house.
01:26:28I always have to go to the house.
01:26:29I always have to go to the house.
01:26:30I always have to go to the house.
01:26:31I always have to go to the house.
01:26:32I always have to go to the house.
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