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00:00Welcome to Real Talk, where it gets hot, spicy, and to the drama.
00:04Joining us today on Real Talk, we have the one, the only, Autumn Noel from Faded to My Forbidden Alpha.
00:22So May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I'm so excited to talk about this with you.
00:28Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and what inspired your passion for mental health?
00:33Growing up, I usually felt very, like, isolated from other people.
00:39I felt like I wasn't, like, I didn't have a place for myself, like, I didn't belong.
00:43And I realized that, like, there's so many people that feel that way, too.
00:47And I was like, this needs to be normalized.
00:50Mental health is a real issue.
00:51Just because you can't see the physical pain doesn't mean that it's not there.
00:54Like, I kind of went through that growing up, my childhood, like, with my family and stuff like that.
00:59Can you tell us a little more about that?
01:01A very dark childhood.
01:03Very absent parents.
01:04They did the best that they could.
01:06That's why, like, I leaned more into, like, dancing and singing and music because it was, like, an escape for me.
01:13Even, like, watching movies.
01:14That's why I love acting so much now because those things kind of, like, brought me to a different world.
01:20It was, like, reading a book, like, you just get lost in it.
01:24And, like, those were the things that helped me and kind of helped my way through.
01:28Do you have, like, a favorite memory of an experience of being creative that really stands out for you?
01:36There was this one time at church, like, we were doing this, like, church performance.
01:39And then they put the spotlight on me.
01:41And I had to, like, do a little dance and then sing.
01:44And, like, the spotlight was only on me.
01:46And I was like, wow, like, this is what it feels like.
01:49And I was like, I want to keep doing whatever this is for the rest of my life because the energy that I got from an audience was much more than, like, I'd ever gotten from anyone before.
02:00Like, my family and things like that.
02:02And it just, it brought me to life in a way that I can't explain.
02:07So it's like whenever I have a camera on me, like, I don't know, it just feels like I come to life more than when I do, like, in my everyday life.
02:16No, it makes sense to me because it allows you to kind of play these characters and act out certain personas that you might not necessarily get a chance to embody in real life.
02:27You can use acting to express emotions in a different way.
02:31And it's so healthy.
02:33When did you know that you need professional help?
02:35Wow.
02:36There have been so many moments.
02:37I don't know.
02:40I would say, like, in high school, right before I dropped out due to bullying, it got really bad to the point where, like, I didn't want to, like, be here anymore.
02:50I was like, ah, screw this.
02:51Like, I didn't feel like I had anyone to go to.
02:55I felt so alone.
02:57And I know that there's so many people that go through that, like, children, adults, like, whoever.
03:02Like, it's a problem that is still happening.
03:07Like, the suicide rate is so high, like, higher than ever because people suffer from depression, from all of these certain mental disorders.
03:16And it's, like, people don't realize that the things that people say affect other people in a negative way.
03:22Like, even now, like, I am dealing with, like, just people on the internet not having the best things to say about me, having assumptions about me that aren't true in the slightest bit.
03:35And that's why I'm glad that, like, I'm coming on here so people can see that, like, I'm a person and, like, your perception of me, like, it's very different.
03:43It's very different.
03:44Yeah, absolutely.
03:46And honestly, it just breaks my heart because, like, I don't know if you guys know, but Autumn and I are besties.
03:52I literally went crying to her house, like, a few nights ago and I was like, this sucks.
03:58So to, like, hear these things being said to you online, like, through a screen, it just breaks my heart because, like, I know the person that you are.
04:06It's just such an issue, the bullying online.
04:09And it's why I say don't read the comments.
04:12I can't help it that, well, and I think a part of me wants to read it because I'm like, oh, I want to see how well my show is doing or, like, what people's thoughts are on it.
04:21But I'm getting compared to other people and I already do that, like, myself.
04:25Like, I go through the self-comparison spiral.
04:28And so I already do that myself.
04:30It's like I don't need, like, so many other people doing that for me and telling me, like, who I am or, like, what I am or, like, what I'm doing.
04:37It's like no one online really knows me because I've made it a point to, like, in the past year, like, I've started posting even less.
04:45So it's like I feel like I don't even really give that much information as to who I am online.
04:50Like, only the people that know me, like you and, like, friends really know who I am personally.
04:55So it's like I don't understand, like, why there's so many, like, misconceptions about me because I'm just, like, living and breathing, trying to, like, do my own thing.
05:06But you can't change the way that people perceive you.
05:09And that's something that, like, I'm still, like, trying to understand and learn is you can't change it.
05:16When I was in school, girls would just be so mean to me.
05:19Like, yeah, like, I don't want to cry, God, but, like, yeah, it was just it was really hard.
05:24And growing up in that kind of, like, environment, like, always being judged.
05:30And, yeah, I just I hate that feeling.
05:34And I guess that's why, like, it bugs me so much because it's, like, it takes me back to that place.
05:40And I feel like that scared little girl that I used to be.
05:44Yeah, so it's, like, I don't know.
05:46That's why I want to, like, talk about this topic because words affect people so much.
05:52And it's, like, one small thing that you say to someone can push that person.
05:56You have no idea what people are going through.
05:58Absolutely.
05:58And it's, like, it takes zero amount of effort to just be kind because it takes the same amount of effort to post a rude comment as it does as, like, a nice one.
06:09So it's, like, why not just be kind?
06:11Or if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say it at all.
06:15Like, you don't have to put every opinion you think on the Internet.
06:18Like, it's fine.
06:19Right.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Well, I think especially as an actor and being kind of a public figure, I think that's it's really important that you are doing the work to maintain your mental health and making sure that you are healthy here.
06:35Because it's so hard to navigate all this because you open yourself up to, you know, all of these strangers following you.
06:45And because you don't put too much out there about, like, who you really are, it leaves a lot of room for these people to make assumptions.
06:54Which, yeah, is partly my fault, too, because I can see how, like, certain things that I post kind of give off a different side of me as to where, like, in person I'm, like, kind of, like, awkward, more, like, introverted.
07:09And, like, online, like, people don't, like, see that about me at all.
07:14They're like, oh, she must be, like, super confident just by, like, the things that I post.
07:17I feel like it's so easy to just, like, post something and, like, be like, oh, whatever.
07:21In person, it's, like, I don't know.
07:24I don't think anyone's ever 100% confident.
07:27So it's, like, to have that, like, misconception is, like, I don't think, like, I'm the s*** 24-7.
07:34Wait, I don't know if we could say that, but.
07:37You are.
07:38You are the s*** 24-7.
07:40But, yeah, like, I just want people to know that, like, they're not alone.
07:44And, like, I would say that that's, like, the biggest, like, treat for me, like, doing what I do is, like, I've inspired, like, there's a certain, like, group of girls that are younger that have made, like, fan pages of me.
07:58And, like, I adore them so much because they'll talk to me, like, through DM and, like, message me asking me for advice.
08:04And it's, like, they are going through the same thing that I went through, like, being bullied, like, feeling like they're alone, like their parents don't care.
08:12And it's, like, that's another reason, like, why I get up and I do this every day is because I also want to be a voice for people that feel that way, especially young girls, because it's so hard to, like, feel seen and feel heard when you don't have anyone in your corner backing you up.
08:28Like, there's so many times where I've felt so alone.
08:32It's just, I don't want anyone else to feel that way.
08:34I love that you're a role model for these young girls and that that's important to you because I think that even though it's just, like, a small thing, like, being active on your page, even when it's hard for you to be, especially because, like, I know personally what you've been going through online, I think that you showing up for the people who look up to you is so important.
08:56And I just want to say I'm so proud of you.
08:59Stop, I'm going to cry.
09:00Again, no.
09:01I feel like in society, speaking about mental health, there's still, like, such a big stigma about it.
09:09And so I just want to get your perspective on what you think, like, some misunderstood aspects on mental health are.
09:17The main misconception is, like, people are labeled crazy when they have mental health problems.
09:23And it's, like, just because you don't understand what someone else is going through doesn't mean that their reactions are invalid.
09:29They might just not how, like, not know how to, like, control their reactions to it.
09:34Like, there's so many times where I've been labeled, like, overdramatic or things like that.
09:40And it's, like, I just react differently.
09:43And I know that a lot of other people do, too.
09:45That's the beauty of it.
09:46Like, no one is exactly the same.
09:48And I think that's, like, the main one.
09:50Or that victims of mental health don't deserve the same amount of help.
09:56And it's, like, mental illness is still an illness.
10:01That's why, like, people need that help because they're still sick.
10:05It's just in a different way.
10:07Like, usually when I tell people that I have kidney disease, they're, like, oh, my God.
10:12Like, they freak out.
10:13But if I say, like, oh, I have depression.
10:15Like, I have PTSD.
10:16Like, it's, like, those kind of things.
10:20It's because if you can't see it.
10:21Yeah.
10:21If you can't see it, then, you know, it doesn't matter.
10:25But, like, every illness is, you know, the same.
10:28It's, like, I still have to cope every day with all of it.
10:32It's just in different ways.
10:33Yeah, and I think it's, too, like, the invisible struggle because people who see you on your shows and, like, online, they don't see the struggle.
10:44They don't see what you go through and, like, all the ups and downs of this crazy life and career that you're just trying to navigate.
10:54And so I think it can be easy to make judgments without knowing the full picture.
10:59And I think that can be super hard.
11:01Yeah, well, because there's often times where, like, I've thought about, you know, quitting.
11:07So I'm, like, oh, I guess that would just be easier.
11:09Like, even two years ago before I did my first real short, I thought about quitting because I was at a point where I was, like, I just don't want to do this anymore.
11:18Like, I just get overwhelmed by all of it.
11:21And I always feel like I'm not good enough.
11:23But then it's, like, something will happen where it, like, reminds me of that.
11:27And so I've been pushing to keep going.
11:30And that's my message for, like, anyone that watches this.
11:33Like, anything that you're going through, just keep going.
11:36Keep going.
11:37Because it gets better eventually.
11:39Like, you just have to, like, stick around for it.
11:43What advice would you give somebody who's hesitant about seeking therapy just in general?
11:48That it's okay.
11:51That, like, everybody needs it.
11:52Like, everybody could use someone to talk to.
11:55It's nothing to be ashamed of.
11:57I used to think, like, oh, like, therapy is for crazy people.
12:01But, you know, like, that's not true.
12:03That's just, like, the stigma that's behind it is, like, oh, like, you need help so you should go to therapy.
12:09I think everyone should be in therapy.
12:10Like, because having someone to talk to that won't judge you, that gives an unbiased opinion about your life, like, it's extremely helpful.
12:19And it helps you see, like, different perspectives that maybe you didn't.
12:24I mean, therapy saved my life for sure.
12:26And I've been in therapy on and off since I was 18.
12:31And it's just been so beneficial for me personally.
12:33And I just think of therapy as something that helps you get tools to solve your own problems better and to navigate the hardships that come through just living a normal life.
12:47And I wish people weren't so judgmental when it comes to getting mental help because I don't think I would be the person I am today without the mental health journey that I've been through.
12:58What are some things that make you feel good and help you stay mentally healthy?
13:04Oh, I love this question.
13:07Honestly, writing music, I just started doing it again.
13:11It's been a while, but I got inspired because usually, like, it takes something, like, to, like, snap in me to, like, be able to, like, write again.
13:20Because I feel like writing music is, it comes to you, like, when you're at your lowest.
13:24So, yeah, writing music, singing, writing poetry, those are, like, the main things.
13:29Like, I have, like, five guitars.
13:31So, like, I love, I love playing those, even though, like, for a while they were just, like, sitting in my room because I just, I didn't play them for the longest time.
13:39I don't even know why.
13:40It wasn't even like, oh, like, I'm not going to do it.
13:42It's just.
13:42Life got in the way.
13:44Yeah.
13:44I know, I was so happy to see that little sneak peek on your story.
13:50I only put it for close friends, but, yeah, like, I want to start posting more, like, music and stuff like that because that is something that, like, I've missed that I love.
13:59I don't think your fans know how talented you are.
14:02Like, you are so good at singing, and I feel like that's something you could definitely share more of because she's amazing, guys.
14:09Hopefully, someday, I'll put out some, for sure, someday, not hopefully, come on.
14:15An album.
14:16Yes, yes, we're manifesting, we are.
14:18That's, like, a, kind of, like, a dream because I, I don't know, I know a lot of people that do acting and singing at the same time, and I don't want to get stuck, like, a certain box.
14:29So, it's, like, I want to stick to one thing, and then when that thing starts, like, going more well, it's, like, I want to, like, venture into the other thing.
14:36I just kind of want to, like, focus on one thing at a time, but I still do it, like, you know, in my free time.
14:41It's just, like, professionally, I'm not, like, out here making, like, songs because I'm, like, I'd rather just focus on one thing at once.
14:49Like, it's, yeah, I don't know.
14:50But karaoke on Thursday, is that a yes?
14:53Yes.
14:54I'll actually come this time.
14:56Finally!
14:57So, tell me more about your songwriting process and how that's therapeutic for you.
15:03Well, usually I do write about heartbreak, like, literally, like, all of the music that I've written is about, like, exes of mine, or just about, like, guys in general.
15:14So, it's, like, that's, like, a common theme.
15:16I feel like every songwriter kind of does that.
15:18No, I feel like all of Taylor Swift's songs, like, isn't that a running joke?
15:22Yeah, yeah, I was about to say that.
15:24Or, like, the people that, like, have inspired me, like, the most, like, as of recently, is, like, Tate McRae or, like, Olivia Rodrigo.
15:33Like, yeah, Olivia Rodrigo is an amazing songwriter.
15:37I love the Driver's License song.
15:39When it first came out, I was like, oh, my God.
15:41Yes, it just hit something.
15:42Yeah, for sure.
15:43Yeah.
15:44So, um...
15:45That's gonna be you, though.
15:47Oh, I could only dream to be, like, yeah, as talented.
15:50Because she's, yeah.
15:51You are, though.
15:51She's amazing.
15:52Have you heard yourself?
15:55But, um, yeah, it just helps me get out all of those, like, heartfelt feelings that I can't express.
16:01Because, you know, I keep a lot of it inside.
16:03And even when I'm on set acting, it's, like, there's certain things that, like, I can't get out in those scenes that I can while writing songs.
16:10Right.
16:10Because, you know, in those scenes, like, yes, I'm expressing a part of myself.
16:14But it's also, like, the character.
16:16Because I try to, like, separate that.
16:18Like, I don't just put all of myself into a character.
16:21I try to separate.
16:22Leave room for the character.
16:23Yeah.
16:23And think about, like, what the character would do instead of, like, what would I do?
16:27Because at that point, it's not really acting.
16:29You're just playing yourself.
16:30And I feel like no shade to people that do that.
16:33But, like, I like to try to make it different as much as I can.
16:37But with songwriting, it's all you.
16:39It's you, your thoughts, your feelings, the heartbreak you felt.
16:43Like, the good, the bad, all of it, like, wrapped up into one.
16:46I feel like songwriting, too, it's like you're, when you're writing the song, like, it's a very private, like, vulnerable thing.
16:54You're kind of with yourself as opposed to acting.
16:57Like, you're in front of, like, a whole set's worth of cast and crew.
17:01And so it's a little harder in some ways, I feel like, to get all the way into the depths of that vulnerability that you're talking about.
17:08Whereas when you're in your songwriting process, it's a different space.
17:13So I see what you're saying about that, for sure.
17:16Yeah.
17:16It just makes me feel like it's a safe place for me.
17:20Yeah.
17:20And, like, I do feel that way with, like, acting and being on set, too.
17:23But, yeah, music just has always felt so safe for me.
17:27Like, hopefully one day I can be in, like, a musical movie because that'd be so cool.
17:32Like, La La Land or Mamma Mia.
17:34La La Land is, like, one of my favorite films of all time.
17:37It's just so good.
17:38Wicked's also, like, phenomenal.
17:40Oh, my God.
17:41Yeah.
17:41So, like, anything like that would be incredible.
17:44Like, I would cry.
17:45Yeah.
17:46I'm going to manifest.
17:46I could be in a movie like La La Land because, you know, the notes in that weren't that high.
17:52They weren't, like, that high, but, like, yeah, that's a dream of mine.
17:58It's going to happen.
17:59Here's hoping.
18:00Vision board.
18:01I know.
18:01We need to have, like, a vision board night.
18:03I know.
18:03For real.
18:04Yeah.
18:05Need to get on that because everyone says that when you put it out, like, and you can see it and visualize it every day, like, it will happen.
18:12And I'm like, I need that.
18:14It's going to happen.
18:15I hope so.
18:17So what changes would you like to see in mental health awareness?
18:20I feel like people taking it more seriously and then just not being so judgmental about it.
18:27Like, I would just like to see more people expressing, like, how they actually feel, like, even if it's just on social media or, like, in everyday life.
18:35Like, I feel like we're all so scared to say how we feel.
18:38I know recently I've been hiding from my socials because I'm like, I just, because it's like you don't want to feed into negativity.
18:46Right.
18:46But you also want to stick up for yourself.
18:48So it's like a fine line.
18:49And I feel like I've always been the kind of person that would back down.
18:53And it's like, I need to learn how to stick up and fight for myself.
18:56I need to stop letting other people fight my battles for me because I have a habit of doing that.
19:00Not intentionally, but it's like people just, like, have done that for me.
19:04And I'm like, well, like, I need to learn how to advocate more for myself.
19:08I encourage everyone else to do the same because that's a big, it's a big step for you coming into your own and, like, honing in your power.
19:17Because you have the power to make anything you want happen.
19:19It's just a matter of, like, getting past what's in here.
19:23Absolutely.
19:23And I really just need to work on that.
19:26I mean, I think it can be so hard to, like, bridge that gap between confronting the feelings and then the people that you might need to talk to because they're the source.
19:39And just having those tough conversations and being like, look, like, you made me feel this way.
19:45And then expecting the other person to be in a space where they can receive that and also take accountability.
19:51Like, it's scary because, like, as hard as it is for us to be able to say the feelings, if the other person's not in a place where they can receive that and respond in a healthy way themselves,
20:04it can add to the difficulty of having that conversation.
20:11Yeah, I agree.
20:13Thank you so much, Autumn, for joining the Real Talk podcast today.
20:17It has been a pleasure hanging out and talking with you.
20:21I know.
20:22It feels like, yeah, we were just chilling as friends.
20:24I know.
20:25Hanging out at home.
20:27Thank you, too.
20:28And, yeah, I'm just so happy that I got to come on here and, like, share my side of things.
20:34And also say that it's okay to feel a certain way as long as you are at least trying to, like, you know, get the help that you need.
20:42And you don't have to be ashamed of it either because everybody goes through it.
20:46You have to, like, seek help for yourself because if you don't, like, no one else is going to try to do that for you.
20:52Like, you have to put yourself first because at the end of the day, you only have you.
20:57There are other people that can be around you and support you.
21:00You do have to have that, like, strive for yourself to want to be better and to get better.
21:06And I just think that it's so important to talk about these things because if you don't, it only gets worse.
21:12If you bottle it up, it's going to stay here.
21:15And it's going to get to the point where, like, you can't function anymore because it gets too hard.
21:22And it's, like, yeah, I mean, there's so many people that, you know, do watch my shows, especially, like, younger women.
21:29And those girls that have, I mean, they've told me that they felt the same things that I have.
21:35And so it's, like, if I can just help a few of those, I'll be happy.
21:39Like, that matters more to me than any, like, negative thing that comes my way because that's why I've stayed doing this for so long because I just, I don't want people to feel the way that I felt.
21:51I don't want them to feel alone.
21:52I want them to know that it's okay.
21:54Absolutely.
21:55Yeah.
21:55And to anybody who's watching, I just want to say that getting mental help is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.
22:03So before you go, we have a little tradition here on Real Talk, and it would be to use this camera to take a selfie.
22:13Ooh, cute.
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