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00:00Hey, Real fam. Thanks for tuning in. On today's episode, Haley and I talk about personal growth,
00:04self-love, and how to tie it all together with our community.
00:17Haley, thanks so much for joining me today. The double life of the billionaire Harris
00:21was such a hit. I'd love to hear some of your favorite moments on set.
00:25Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here.
00:29The double life of the billionaire Harris was my very first real short I did. And
00:32every single day on that set was so much fun. I actually made one of my best friends on that
00:38show, Kelsey, who plays the villain character. She's just one of my dearest friends, the guy who
00:44played my brother, Michael. He and I are really fantastic friends as well. But honestly, I think
00:49one of the funniest moments while filming that was there was a day when we were filming outside by
00:55the pool. And Mark's character, Wes, was throwing this party. And I show up not realizing what I was
01:02walking into. And he's there with Eve. And I'm standing there. And Eve kind of walks up behind
01:07me. And we have this altercation. And she grabs my wine glass and pours it all over herself.
01:11And I'm really good at not breaking during scenes. But that entire two and a half page bit that we
01:19did, just neither one of us could get through it. And it was so, so funny because she would step up
01:26right behind me and then whisper in my ear. And that would start our little fight. And just
01:30someone stepping up behind you and whispering something mean in your ear is the funniest.
01:36It was just honestly one of the best days ever. But that set was really special to me because it
01:40was my first real short. And it was the start of something so fantastic with everybody here.
01:46Well, I'm really happy to know that you had a good experience. I think that energy really
01:50transferred into the series. And you can really tell that you guys had a good time on set.
01:56I think, how was your experience after shooting? How many shows have you done? Talk a little bit
02:02about what's your favorite role that you played or anything you'd like to share with the fans?
02:07Ooh, I have done six total real shorts now.
02:11Wow.
02:12I know.
02:13I know. I know.
02:16And each and every one of them has been just absolutely incredible. And I think what's so
02:20special about this company is that there's so many amazing people here. And so I leave each set
02:25with friends that I'm going to have forever or friends that I'd like to have forever. I hope they feel the
02:29same way. Yeah. But no, I think one of my favorite roles, I think the double life playing Kira is just
02:37always going to hold a special place in my heart because of how that really did start this whole
02:42journey for me. But I think one of my favorite roles that I've played so far, even though it was
02:47definitely the most emotionally challenging role that I've ever had to play, was the show I did with
02:53Jesse recently. My firefighter ex-husband burns in regret. That one was really, it was such a
03:04challenge, but it was the most rewarding.
03:07What would you say was challenging?
03:08So the whole show has you going with this huge topic of grief and anger and just sadness. And
03:19you're really in that the whole time in this show. And there's moments where it's lighter,
03:24but it's still what's on your mind is it's all following the grief of my daughter dying. And it
03:29turns into, I think we did such a great job with it though. And I'm really, really so proud of that
03:35because that was a part of acting that I've always been afraid of having to be that vulnerable
03:41and be that emotional and tap into anger and sadness and grief. And portraying that was just
03:49really rewarding.
03:51As an actor, what would you say is like the most like hard emotion to capture or to embody when
03:57acting? Would it be grief?
03:58For me, it's anger.
04:00Anger. I can see that.
04:01I struggle a lot with that. I don't know what it is.
04:05Like, do you, would you say that you struggle with anger, like embodying that in your personal
04:10life? Or is it something that it's just hard for you to capture and roll?
04:14Both. A hundred percent in real life too. And that's something actually, when I started acting
04:19classes a few years back, my coach and I, he was so confused. He's like, why, why, why was that
04:25seen the way it was? Why aren't you getting into it? I was like, well, it was, I just yelled.
04:29Yeah.
04:30No, you didn't. He's like, that was not anger. And he's like, anger is messy and that's okay because
04:34everybody feels it. And I think it stems from just that thought in the back of your mind,
04:40like, especially just as women, like you're supposed to be this put together, stable being.
04:46Pressure.
04:47Of, you know, keeping those emotions intact when, you know, even speaking in the role that
04:52you just had and how powerful that moment with grief and that emotion on set was and
04:56how hard it was for, you know, you to embody it, but it's a natural human emotion.
05:00Um, so it's pretty interesting. Like when you said that, I kind of thought about it and
05:04I was like, is it that, you know, grief is, you know, because for some actors, I think
05:09grief would be easy to like embody and bring into the role. And I guess with that being
05:15said in mind, what, how would you say your personality is off camera? Because since there's
05:20the correlation of like acting and bringing that forward, what would you say is Haley off
05:25camera? Haley off camera. I think I'm a very calm person. A lot of the time I kind
05:33of just, I'm here for a good time. I would really love to tell you that I'm a go with
05:37the flow person, but I'm so not. I'm definitely a planner and I definitely love to like know
05:42what I'm getting into. But I think like the things that make me happiest, just like in
05:47day-to-day life that I think show a lot about who I am. Like I love just sitting down,
05:53watching some movies with my friends and talking or going to brunch and getting a couple drinks
05:59and just chatting about our weeks, just the total debriefs and just relaxing conversation
06:03with people. I guess since I know that anger is like something that in your personal life
06:08and in acting, it's a little hard to just carry that emotion or to hold space for it.
06:13What would you say is like your favorite emotion to, to feel?
06:16That is such a good question. Um, I love playing and getting into like the sexier feelings because
06:27I think also that's something I've swallowed so much just in life in general, because I've
06:33tried to put myself into this like little bubble where no one needs to see me. And now that I'm
06:38acting, it's like, wow, everybody's going to see me and I need to accept that. And that's been a
06:42really fun thing. All of the emotions, but, um, specifically that, like allowing myself to feel
06:47confident and feel sexy walking into a room and playing characters that are just confident,
06:55strong women. It's been the coolest feeling. And I'm like, wow, I really like this feeling.
06:59Yeah, I know. It sounds like from your experience, like, um, acting is like a great way to like,
07:05kind of like dibble dabble into different emotions that you kind of, um, have in the back,
07:09like in the back, you don't really embody a lot, um, like the sexiness and bringing that forward
07:15into characters and being able to like, kind of discover that through your roles. I think that's
07:20pretty interesting. It's been so like therapeutic almost. Why would you say therapeutic? It's so
07:29rewarding when you're doing a scene and you're, whether it's like yelling at somebody or telling
07:38somebody how you feel and then you get to leave and you're like, wow, that wasn't as scary as I
07:43thought. Maybe I can do this in real life. Yeah. And same with anger, because again, like even in
07:49scenes, it's so, it's almost like I felt ashamed to be like this big, loud in your face person.
07:59Ah, deep breaths. I know. Cause I completely can understand that feeling. Sometimes you just want
08:04to like, let it go. Yeah. But you want to contain. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And it's like, you never
08:10know if it's too much. And I don't know why, I guess just some, at some point in my life, I picked
08:15up that from somebody. How is happiness not too much, but anger is. Exactly. It's all the same thing.
08:22Like you're allowed to have feelings. People are encouraged to have emotions. That's the most
08:26exciting part about being alive and having feelings is that you get to experience so many
08:31things. Yeah. And I think like one of the beauty of that is like you said, being a woman and being
08:36able to be that in tune with your feelings and being able to choose how to express them. And I
08:41think it's, it's so interesting to hear that you've been able to kind of like explore that through your
08:46roles at Real Short. And you know, the roles are very woman empowering and she gets to choose her
08:52billionaire and she gets to choose how she wants to be steamy and how she wants to be spicy or how she
08:56wants to engage. So I think that's really interesting. It's a really interesting take.
08:59And I think the fans can definitely see that in the role, like, you know, seeing you, you've had
09:04six different roles already. And I think they can see that energy and that exploration, like when you
09:10bring that forward, because the fans really love your acting. Has there been any interactions or any
09:17like fun, um, discussions that you've had with fans or just in general?
09:22Yes. I actually, I got recognized in a diner recently here in LA in Bakersfield. Oh, wow.
09:31I was just sitting there having some breakfast and one of the workers had come up and it turned
09:37into this whole thing and it was just so funny, but they, one girl had walked out of the kitchen with
09:41actually the billionaire era show on her phone. She's like, this is you. I said, yeah, that's me.
09:47And she said, this is my favorite show right now. And we just had this lovely chat afterwards,
09:51me and some of the girls that were working there and took some photos. I asked my autograph and that
09:56was just the craziest feeling to me that not only do people watch this, but they enjoy it and they
10:04like it and they come back to watch more. But I have, um, a couple of people who DM me quite a bit
10:11after any shows released or anything like that. Funny enough, a couple of the girls that have
10:16messaged me, they're like, your show's coming out. I'm like, what? And then I'll go to the app and be
10:20like, oh my gosh, I have a show coming out. That's so cool. But they're on it and they've made
10:24TikToks about everything. It's just the coolest feeling. And it's really rewarding, especially I get
10:29some messages here and there of girls texting or messaging me on Instagram saying that, you know,
10:34I inspired them and they want to get into acting now because they feel like they can do it. And I'm
10:40like, you can do it. You can do anything you set your mind to and absolutely go for it. And I've had
10:45extensive conversations with girls on Instagram about how to do it, how to get into acting. I've sent
10:51them my coaches information. Like if you're really serious, like join us class and like, let's see where
10:55you can go. Yeah. I think that's really cool of you because it's like, you have this constant
11:00theme of like women empowerment and helping others kind of like just achieve success. And I think
11:06it's perfect, but I hear you're a really tough cookie and you've done taekwondo for 12 years.
11:13Yes. Oh my gosh. I haven't practiced in a few years, but I'm getting back into it in the new year. I
11:18found a studio. I'm so excited, but yeah, growing up, my parents tried to put me in every sport ever and I
11:25just was never good at anything. Why taekwondo? Because the last thing they tried to put me in
11:31was dance and I was just not graceful at all. And they were like, you know what? Go to taekwondo
11:35with your brother. And I loved it. I loved it. I stayed with it for so long. I am a second degree
11:40black belt. I medaled at championships and competitions and it was just like a really cool
11:46way to grow up. But I'm really thankful my parents put me in it. My mom did it. My mom's a black belt
11:50too. Oh, wow. But it was just really, really an incredible experience. And it teaches you a lot
11:57of discipline too. And teaches you a lot of, it's especially nice for the self-defense aspect of
12:03things. And it comes into play a lot with stunt work in these shows. And it's been really cool to.
12:08Yeah, no, I think that's like a beautiful hidden talent of yours. And I think it's really interesting
12:14because usually anger and protection come in hand in hand. And it seems like you're very well
12:19protected. I mean, 12 years of taekwondo, I would not want to get you angry. How about that? I think
12:25I wouldn't want it. And then I guess like, I see like you've explored a lot and you've really taken
12:31time to just kind of know different sides of yourself. How has that journey been? Like, how would
12:36you say you've reached this moment of like self-acceptance and just overall of confidence?
12:45It's been a scary journey, a long journey even. I don't even think I'm fully there yet. But I think
12:52honestly, first of all, therapy is fantastic. 10 out of 10 recommend. But I think it just
12:59comes down to the fact that, you know, like when you're going to bed at night, it's just you.
13:05Yeah. It's just you and your thoughts. And you got to be okay with looking in the mirror every day. And
13:11I wasn't for so long. And I think, you know, I was such a people pleaser and such a yes man for
13:17everything and everybody that it just made me into someone I didn't like to be around. And
13:24I woke up one day and I was like, this is exhausting and so pointless.
13:29Yeah. I always tell my friends that you have to accept your friend request first instead of
13:36accepting everyone else's. You have to be your friend first. And I think that just hearing you,
13:41I feel that they're like, you understand very well what self-love is. Would you define it in that way?
13:47Like just being with yourself at the end of the day and being accepted or finding that self-acceptance
13:53or how would you define self-love? I would define self-love as at the end of the day,
13:59when I go home, I'm so happy to be with myself. Yeah. And I, yes, my own company. I love my own
14:06company. Sometimes I even think like, I'd love to be my friend. If this wasn't, if I wasn't me,
14:12I'd love to run into me on the street. Yeah. And I think it's really strange how for a long time
14:19that came off as like cockiness or, okay, she's obsessed with herself. It's like, no,
14:26I just actually like myself and that's okay. That's encouraged. Actually, everybody should
14:31like themselves. You should be your biggest fan because it's you. Yeah. And I, I think the journey
14:38kind of teaches you to be accepting of that vulnerability and to have like that resilience
14:43of like, no, this is who I am. I'm accepting of who I am. And I love who I am. Um, I think what
14:50have you, would you say was like the biggest lesson that has given you that clarity?
14:54I think something that I went through with an ex of mine was actually just one of those moments where
15:02I went back and I was like, if I sit here and say that I love myself, this is not the position I
15:10would be putting myself in. And I think it was, it got to the point, you know, when you have friends
15:16in your life being like, girl, what are we doing? What is going on? Stand up for yourself. Stand up,
15:23you know, take up space. I'm like, oh, I am, I am, I am. But then, you know, I wasn't. And it was just
15:30one of those moments where, you know, if you're surrounding yourself with people who claim to love
15:35you, but talk to you like they don't love you and talk to you like you're less than or do things
15:41that people don't do to people that they love. Like, you know, it's one of those moments like,
15:46okay, clearly I need to figure this out on my own and it's no one else's fault anymore. It's just,
15:51I need to figure out what to do and what the next step is. And that next step was realizing that I
15:56need to love myself enough to put on my shoes and walk out that door and figure it out along the way.
16:02No, absolutely. I think part of self-love is having to choose yourself and protect yourself
16:08and say, you know, if I don't take care of me, no one really will. And in those moments,
16:13those decisions really get tough because you're like, I love this person. I think this person
16:17loves me, but I think I love myself more. And I want to be loved better and I want to be loved
16:24more. So I'm really proud that you were able to, you know, learn that lesson. And that brings me to
16:29a point of like boundaries and finding that strength and then bringing it all in and finding
16:36protection. What would you say, um, has been like an empowering decision and how would you,
16:43how do you choose, uh, boundaries in your personal life and your career?
16:47Ooh, really quick too. I want to say what you just said reminded me of this quote. That's like,
16:52if you're trying to make sure that everybody around you is feeling peaceful, like, do you feel peace?
16:58Yeah. I butchered that so bad, but you know what I'm talking about?
17:02I completely understand because it's like you give and then at the end of the day,
17:05what's left. If you're trying to keep the peace with everyone around you.
17:09And it goes back to like what you said earlier about, um, you know, finding that sometimes that
17:15quality can come off cocky, but in reality, if you don't take care of you, what is there left to
17:21give? Like kind of like the quote that you just mentioned. Um, so I, I completely understand. And,
17:25and I'm, I'm very interested in knowing how you balance all of that, because I know that a lot
17:30of people go through the journey of defining self-love and then they, they're constantly
17:33pulled into like, do I give or do I protect? Do I, do I give or do I, you know, leave some for me
17:41and how do I choose to love myself? So I'm wondering how you came to, uh, set those boundaries for
17:46yourself in this journey, even in your career or in your personal life.
17:50Yeah. I think I learned pretty quickly that there's so much more power in saying no than
17:56there is saying yes. And if people care about you, they'll respect your nose and they'll
18:02understand where you're coming from. And you guys can find that middle ground and compromise.
18:06And if they don't like that, then they're not people that you need to be around because
18:09they're self-serving and that has nothing to do with you and they can take that elsewhere.
18:14But, um, even something as simple when it comes to my career, if I'm looking over a script and I
18:21see something where I'm like, you know, that's making me feel a little weird or anything like
18:26that, no matter what it is, like, it could be something as simple as, you know what, they
18:29want me eating pancakes in this scene. I'm like, I don't like, you know, like it's something so
18:34simple like that. Well, I would never do that. That was a bad example, but just whatever it may
18:39be, I could, I've learned that it's so much better to just tell people what I'm feeling
18:46and figure it out. And then everybody's on the same page and everybody's happy. And in
18:50my personal life, same thing where, you know, I used to say yes to going out all the time
18:55and doing everything everybody wanted me to do, showing up to every event, every dinner,
18:59every outing. And it got to the point where, you know, that's exhausting sometimes. And, um,
19:07especially because I'm, this year especially has been so busy for me, which is something
19:12I'm grateful for until the day I die. This is just the coolest experience, but just spreading
19:17yourself too thin. And then like you said, like you can't give if you're not. Yeah. It's
19:22like I'm giving from my empty cup, you know, I think love is a choice and, um, part of being
19:30vulnerable is being transparent and choosing your yes and your no's. Um, and to that note, I
19:36guess, where do you find your strength? Where do you find the strength to say no?
19:43Oh man, I think the strength that I have found was in me just buried so deep and something,
19:57I guess, that I started to swallow a lot growing up. And it wasn't until my mom, who is just like
20:05the greatest human being on this planet, sat me down and was like, what are we doing?
20:11Yeah. Awareness. Yeah. Like you're allowed to say no. And that was such a crazy moment for me being
20:18like, I'm allowed to, what do you mean? And finding that strength just from watching her go through
20:25life, watching my friends go through their lives and meeting people in this industry, especially since
20:30working more, I have found I've grown so much stronger because it's encouraged here. It's a great
20:38thing to be strong and be powerful with your words and stand still and stand tall. And seeing other
20:47people do that was so eyeopening for me. And that was something I was really excited about. And then
20:55it kind of appeared and I was like, Hey, I don't want to do that. And people like, cool. I was like,
21:00it's that easy. What do you mean? Yeah. What do you mean? It gets easier the more you say no.
21:03It was crazy too, because especially so on these shows, we have intimacy coordinators who are
21:08by far the coolest and nicest people in the world. And they always say, and stunt coordinators,
21:15they always say, we are here to advocate for you. You can say no to anything. Like, what do you mean?
21:20They're like, you can say no. I'm like, what do you mean? I'm a choice. Like, no, I can't. I'm just
21:25here. I'm going to do whatever you guys want me to do. They're like, that's not how this world works.
21:29Like you're allowed to choose to choose. Yeah. And that was such a, so this whole year has just been
21:35that strength kind of building and growing. And it's been really cool to kind of re-find who I am
21:40and find myself throughout that. So it seems like you find your strength from the love around you
21:45and from the self-love that you have inside. I think that's beautiful. And it's been beautiful
21:50having this conversation with you. I do want to have some fun and play an activity.
21:55Okay. See how well, you know. Quotes and lyrics from women of strength.
22:00Who run the world? Girls. Fiance. Perfect. Okay. Um, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.
22:10Taylor Swift.
22:14Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn't be that the women are the exception.
22:19I know this. You know this. I know this. You know her.
22:25This is the worst one to not have an answer for.
22:30I'll give you a clue. Okay. Ruth. Oh yeah. Okay. That's what I thought. What's her last name?
22:37Ruth Bittekinsburg. Thank you. I knew that. I knew that. I was going to let you not get that one. Come on.
22:43Hair toss. Check my nails. Baby, how you feeling? Feeling good as hell.
22:48Oh, Lizza.
22:52Okay. There is no greater agony than burying an untold story inside of you.
22:58I don't think I've heard that.
23:02Let the birds sing.
23:03The caged birds.
23:06What is it?
23:08This is horrible. Oh my gosh, wait.
23:09What the caged birds sing?
23:13This is it.
23:14This is our quote, Taylee.
23:16Oh no.
23:18Maya Angelou.
23:19Okay.
23:20Of course.
23:20Wow, I'm horrible.
23:21No, that was a hard one.
23:22Oh my God, Taylor Swift.
23:23That was a hard one. I put that one there because I felt like it was...
23:27That was beautiful.
23:27Yeah, that was the last quote for Maya Angelou. And to that note, I think one of the things this year has been a lot of life changes for me.
23:38And part of this new chapter is being able to tell the story, to be open about all the things that I've learned throughout these transitions.
23:48What would you say has been a way that you manage life transitions and just overall change in your life?
23:55I think this year has also been quite a year.
24:01A lot of change.
24:03So much is happening.
24:05But, you know, I quit my day job. I act full time now. I have an apartment in LA. I have just every... It feels like every aspect of life is changing.
24:17And I think the best way for me that I've found to embrace those changes and transitions is to let it go and be excited about it.
24:28Because something my mom has said before is that the only thing scarier than change is never changing.
24:36And that has always sat with me. And because change is so scary. Transitioning into different aspects and moments in life is terrifying.
24:46Yeah.
24:47And I think it's going to happen regardless whether you are fighting it or not.
24:52And I think for me, something I found is in a year from now, I'm not going to remember how stressed I was, how anxious I was, how much I was grasping onto the things I was scared of changing.
25:04I'm just going to be excited that I did it and I took the leap and that I'm where I am today because of those changes.
25:11Yeah. I think someone told me once that the only thing that's permanent is change.
25:16Oh, yeah. That's great. Yeah.
25:19And being accepting of change helps you create more space for what you want to have.
25:24And I think it's beautiful that part of accepting the life transitions is accepting change, accepting letting go, and just welcoming the new.
25:35What would you say has been like something that has been really hard to let go recently?
25:41Control.
25:42Control.
25:42That is something I've been, because I wasn't always a, yay change.
25:48I've always been a very much, I need my same routine, my same people, my same everything.
25:54And going from working at a restaurant and having a set schedule and knowing I'm going to wake up at this time and do this, go to work, then do this.
26:03And that's it. And that's cool.
26:05And I'll do acting class once a week and we'll be happy and fun and it's exciting.
26:09And that's what my life is to everything is up in the air until like 12 hours before you're on set.
26:17You don't know where you're going, what you're doing.
26:20It's so spontaneous.
26:21Yes. And that's been something that I never thought I would be okay with.
26:28My mom. Sorry, I keep talking about my mom. My mom. I love her.
26:31I want to meet her.
26:31She's fantastic.
26:32She always told me that she's like, for someone who loves to be in control of your teen, you chose the worst career.
26:39Yeah.
26:40I'm like, I know, I know, but I've learned to love it.
26:43And like you said, like learn to embrace it and letting that control go has been a hard thing to do, but it's very freeing.
26:54Very freeing.
26:55I can agree with that because part of being in control is knowing that you're not in control.
27:02Whoa.
27:02That just wrecked my world.
27:04Oh my gosh.
27:05Because you have to let go.
27:06You have to let go and know that you're not in control to control.
27:10Mm-hmm.
27:11Wow.
27:11So I think it's so interesting that, you know, the common themes of acceptance, of letting go and how they tie into this control that we want things to be able to be the way that we want to see them or the way that we want to control them.
27:26Um, I think, uh, part of letting go of that control comes this ease and this peace of just accepting, um, how would you say you manage the stress that comes along with letting go and not being in control?
27:43Oh.
27:45Oh.
27:46Yeah.
27:47I have learned.
27:49Well, I think vulnerability is like a superpower.
27:53It really is.
27:54And I think one of the best ways I've learned to manage what I'm feeling is being honest about what I'm feeling.
28:01And I guess that ties into like everything we've been talking about.
28:03And transparency.
28:04Yeah.
28:04Allowing yourself to feel is incredible and it's important and encouraged and everybody should.
28:11But I think one of the ways that I've learned to cope with change and letting go of control and everything happening is being honest about the fact that I don't always love it.
28:22And it's scary and sometimes stress can feel like the heaviest thing in the world.
28:29But being able, I have a great support system and I have an incredible village and my friends that I've had my whole life or friends that I've met this year on set, I've been able to have really open conversations with.
28:44I'm having a horrible day and I'm having a horrible day and I don't know how to go about this.
28:50I feel so like buzzing and I'm like, I don't know what to do.
28:56And they're like, that's fine.
28:57Yeah.
28:57That's okay.
28:58And allowing them to help you and being authentic in what you're experiencing.
29:03Because I think especially with social media nowadays, everyone wants to put out their highlight reel and you see that and you're like, wow, everybody's life is perfect and mine's not.
29:12What's going on?
29:13What's wrong with me?
29:14And that's not real.
29:15I see a constant theme of wanting to be seen and not wanting to be authentic.
29:19Yes.
29:20On social media?
29:21Yes.
29:21100%.
29:22Nowadays, everyone wants to be seen and no one wants to feel authentically what they are.
29:27And part of letting go is letting go that idea of being seen and welcoming that part of being accepted, you know, with the self-love and the transparency.
29:39I mean, it sounds like you had such an interesting journey and I can tell by the conversation and also by the wisdom that you're bringing here.
29:46Well, thank you so much for sharing.
29:48I am eager to know about your community and your support system, but we'll leave some for part two.
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