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00:00Previously, ten complete strangers divided by their views faced questions designed to
00:19spark debate.
00:20I've had nothing but powerful, incredible relationships with a lot of Irish people.
00:24Hang on, hang on.
00:25In Ireland, have you had more positive experiences with Irish people than negative?
00:28Negative.
00:29The experiment is designed to take the online world offline and see what happens when we
00:35meet eye to eye.
00:36With Israel and Palestine, in my opinion, I think it's merely impossible for you to say
00:40that you haven't been seeing what's going on.
00:41No, I have seen it and I just don't watch it, I don't care.
00:44Watched on by psychotherapists Dr. Richard Hogan and Daniela Moyles.
00:48Andy, choose someone to leave the conversation to make room for a new diner.
00:55So I'll choose Izzy to go.
00:56Take care.
00:57Cheers.
00:58Take care, Izzy.
00:59Good to meet y'all.
01:00When fierce opponents break bread, will they find common ground?
01:05I feel like Izzy was also a good voice for me when I lost my voice.
01:08Absolutely.
01:09Well, you're not hair-frazy to speak for you.
01:10Your head's...
01:11Yeah, true.
01:12Okay, you're right.
01:13Okay?
01:14Okay?
01:15Divide.
01:16Deepen.
01:17I'm hoping to get more personal with people tonight.
01:20I think I'll end up challenging one of the men on something a little bit deeper.
01:25I'm going to listen more today because I want to listen to what people have to say, especially
01:30the girls, especially Natasha and Sophie.
01:32I'm not really looking forward to seeing Ben.
01:33He just rose me up the wrong way.
01:34Sometimes the truth hurts.
01:35If you go your whole life trying not to hurt anybody's feelings, then you're never going
01:36to say anything of substance.
01:37I'm not really looking forward to seeing Ben.
01:38He just rose me up the wrong way.
01:42Sometimes the truth hurts.
01:43If you go your whole life trying not to hurt anybody's feelings, then you're never going
02:03to say anything of substance.
02:06Ben, the connection of finding who he is behind the logical way that he thinks, and
02:11I feel like a lot of people just aren't connected in that manner with him.
02:17I know some of the words I use or some of the angles I use might be the,
02:22they're very colourful sometimes but it's always from a good place.
02:26I'm absolutely ready for it. Let's get this conversation going.
02:31On the first day you genuinely challenged me on the racism that I've experienced
02:35as if I'm like trying to put it on or something.
02:40No, no, no. Yes you were. I think you live in a bubble.
02:42I think you need to actually walk through the city maybe spend a day walking through the city
02:45and see I don't know if you're just like bulletproof to racism.
02:50I don't know how you as a Congolese man actually said that you haven't experienced racism in this country.
02:55This chat with time was a long time coming. What planet is he living on if he's saying he
02:59hasn't experienced this as a black man that's fully black from both sides. I'm mixed race.
03:05There's no way I've experienced more racism than than him.
03:07As much as I have experienced racism in here I've experienced more good at the hands of Irish people.
03:11So have I. I absolutely agree.
03:13Well Sophie that's what I asked you. My opinion of you from the beginning is still the same.
03:16Sure. You know what I mean like I don't know much about you. I don't know,
03:19I have an idea of what your beliefs and what your values are.
03:23Yeah. But I'd like to know more.
03:24We haven't learned anything much about you other than you have like a couple of partners and I'm thinking like
03:29I can just deal with my husband. I couldn't deal with another one. Jesus like you honestly God bless you.
03:34I am probably a little bit reserved because it's easier to keep the argument at the intellectual
03:39level where we're just talking about statistics and facts and here's this study and blah blah blah
03:43as opposed to talking about how I feel and my family and where I've come from you know.
03:47Yeah yeah.
03:48It was nice to speak to him on a one-on-one you know because I feel like I'm more at Ben's face all
03:54the time because we're not the same you know and I'm what I am is I'm brutally honest and I feel like
03:59Ben was holding back. For me it's about as I said I'm an accidental polyamorous I would have been
04:05very monogamous beforehand and then this this just happened and I went with it and now nearly three
04:12years down the road I'm better for it. Are all the partners male or female or what? All female?
04:19Yeah female yeah. All female. Yeah.
04:20We talked about um Dill's kind of relationship which I kind of couldn't quite understand I was
04:28you know left with more questions nearly coming away from it. Can I ask you a question? What have you
04:32done for the Avern community just out of curiosity? I use my voice and I speak out and I literally I made
04:39a podcast so I can highlight and talk and have people. Besides raising awareness what have you done on
04:46ground for the Avern community? Is this like a one-up man? No no no it's not but because you've
04:50targeted me. I've been to Tenerife you've been to Elevary. But you're saying you've done so much.
04:53No can I ask you now? Yes. You said you've done so much what would make you want to do so much is
04:57that not because the racism you've experienced? I respect Sophie's passion and energy I really do
05:02and I think if it's directed with a little bit of more emotional control and we would have got on a lot
05:09better from day one. Like it doesn't matter what people think of you. Yeah. If you're yourself people will
05:16will enjoy that more. Yeah. I mean if you're totally open about yourself people will resonate
05:21with you more. It was good catching up with Andy you know I think he's a straight shooter pardon the
05:26pun. I think he's the kind of person who would just tell you to your face if he doesn't like you or
05:31you know which is nice because at least you know where you stand with him. Wait till Lizard hit
05:35menopause then the trouble starts. Well we're all menopausal. Oh right okay. I'm gonna ask this question do
05:40do all women go through the menopause? Is that a joke? Yeah I thought that it was like some do and
05:48don't. I could be completely wrong. Do all women go through the menopause? Okay. Stephen. Yes. Did you
05:52come down in the last rain shower? I wish that. You did. Yes. Every woman goes through the menopause. Okay I
05:57thought it was like I thought it was like the like wisdom teeth. Some people get them and some people
06:02don't. No so. Oh I'll let you answer that. I don't know where to start Stephen. On one hand I was not
06:09shocked at all that he asked that but on the other hand I was absolutely floored. I think I'm still
06:14reeling from that because I never I never thought that someone could even ask that question. Another
06:21thing is I know I know that you know there's ladies time every month. A period. Ladies. Yes.
06:32Like I thought you can tell when some women go through the menopause. Obviously some women go through
06:36it harder than other women. I don't know how long even menopause happens. Does it happen over a week
06:42or a month or a year? Like how long does menopause go on for? In fairness now to Stephen I don't think
06:51enough people there's not enough awareness about menopause. Finally now we are talking more about it.
06:56It was something that women didn't talk about. Seven years. What? Seven years? Jesus. Do you think that
07:06men have it easier? In general? To a certain degree but she'll remember we have to put up with
07:13cheese as well. That's a joke. That's a joke. Well you have to put up a tree so that's what I'm doing.
07:18No men probably do have it easier in that respect. Yeah 100%. Like it's bad for the seven years?
07:24Okay. That's a new one on me. Wow.
07:37Within a group you're always going to have an agitator.
07:39So I think when you have tension, agitation, provocation, differences of views and opinion,
07:51controversy and conflict is absolutely inevitable. But it's necessary. If we don't have conflict,
07:58if we don't have confrontation, there is no growth.
08:00You know what's going to be really interesting to watch when they come into the room. They'll be
08:07expecting to be sitting in the place they were sitting last night. But what we've done, we have
08:11moved them around and changed their locations. So that might disrupt them a little bit.
08:15So obviously we only saw Dil for the dessert yesterday. I think it's going to be really fascinating
08:21to see how she integrates today and if she actually has an impact on the group, which
08:25previous newcomers haven't really managed. How are you feeling?
08:36I am not happy. I am not happy. Why might that be? Because our lovely Stephen went to the Blackford
08:46Inn two days ago and decided that he wants to contribute to Conor McGregor's pocket. And I am
08:55really, really uncomfortable right now sitting at a table with someone who is comfortable to dine
09:00and give money to Conor McGregor. It came out of nowhere. She pretty much reprimanded him in front
09:06of the whole group, which was, I felt, not fair on him and not fair on us. I'm not comfortable at this
09:14table with someone like that. That's fair enough.
09:17Natasha had a go at me because she overheard me telling other people that I was in a certain
09:26premises in Dublin and she took Umbridge to it. And that was the first thing that was completely
09:32blindsided me. I was going to attack back, but I thought, you know what, I'm not even going to give
09:37a chance to hear. How's everyone else feeling?
09:42Better now.
09:45I think Stephen just did not take that bait. He wasn't going to rise to that.
09:51I really felt you guys the other day crying over me,
09:54not being sensitive enough to the discussion you were saying about Palestine and stuff. I was like,
09:59I don't really care because there's nothing to do with me. And I went away. I listened,
10:04you know what I mean? I went away and I felt terrible that yous were upset because
10:09that I wasn't, um, caring enough. You know what I mean? I didn't care about your feelings. I was just
10:14like, yeah, whatever. I could, I could die tomorrow. So what does it matter? That's how I live my life.
10:19You know what I mean? I could be gone tomorrow. What does anything matter?
10:21Yeah.
10:22So, um, no, but just so you know, I went away and, um, I learned a bit about her.
10:29Fair play, Andy. There's been so many moments where people have actually
10:33assimilated new information and, you know, chosen to say, I'm going to learn. So that was,
10:38that was lovely to see. Oh my God. My whole heart, when Andy apologised to myself and Sophie,
10:45you know, cause evil manifests when good people sit around and do nothing, you know,
10:50a little bit of faith in humanity restored.
10:52I was a bit nervous tonight. Yeah. I feel a bit nervous. I don't know why. I feel a bit like
10:58electricity in the air. Is there something particular you're nervous about? No.
11:02Me. Uh, yeah, you honestly. There's a little bit of flirting going on between Amy and Andy,
11:09but I think it's just harmless really, you know, but, um, it's fun. It's fun to watch,
11:13you know, I think everyone likes a little bit of flirting going on, you know,
11:16I think it just brings a little bit of laughter to the table.
11:22How should society handle the inclusion of trans athletes in sport?
11:27This question drives me bananas. Take the wheel, Jacob. Ben, can you honestly say that you're
11:33truly content, you know? Absolutely. A hundred percent.
11:37In the one day, no one day. This is the first ocean I've ever seen out of bed.
11:44How should society handle the inclusion of trans athletes in sport?
11:49This question drives me bananas. I'm longing for the group to make space for this,
11:54you know, because they've been avoiding discomfort and this is obviously a little bit of discomfort.
11:58How are they going to manage this? Like, let's just extend that act of listening now to something
12:03that's at odds with your opinion. I think how Jacob handles it would be really important for the
12:07dynamics here. So if you're, if you're male and you're transitioning to female, when you start
12:12taking estrogen, you know, HRT, your muscles start weakening. That's, that's true. That's true,
12:19but there are certain advantages that persist throughout your life. Like, for example, bone density is
12:26something that, you know, they're, and I mean, like, for example, with actual steroids, let's say,
12:31if you take a course of steroids for years and then you stop, there are still certain advantages
12:38that are conferred to you decades later. And so some of these hormonal things will confer an advantage.
12:44Take the wheel, Jacob. I, I, I work a job. I work in a male, fully male dominated job. I work in tire
12:50repairs. When they found out that I was transgender, I had one of the lads come up to me and said,
12:55everybody knows. Now keep in mind, I, I, I go to the gym. I work out. I, I work to make myself
13:00how I'm happy in myself. But when he came down to me, he says, so is this, is this why I can do the
13:06job I'm doing? Is that why I can lift these heavy tires because I'm on steroids? You know?
13:10Well, I came in the second day. If you hadn't told me that, that you were trans, I wouldn't have known.
13:14That's what I said. Yeah, yeah. And I work with lots of trans people. Yeah, I wouldn't have had a clue.
13:17I didn't even know. It's really your approach to it, Jacob, I think, because you do, and it's
13:22weird. Obviously, what's on social media is not true. Yeah. But social media, what you do tend to see
13:26is people that are kind of pushing that, you know what I mean? Oh, I understand that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:30Loud and just pushing it on people where yours is more of a... I understand I'm different,
13:34and I understand you're trying to adjust to my difference, so let's meet each other in the middle.
13:38So what if a trans person is pushing their identity on social media? They're proud of who they are,
13:42and they're entitled to do that. That's like angry lesbians. You know what I mean?
13:45Stop being so angry. There's so much to be angry about, you know? Exactly.
13:51I know that Natasha thinks that you should let it out and birth it out and do that. I think that's the
13:55wrong way of doing it. If you were trying to force feed something, it is always going to get a
13:59reaction off it. You'll catch more flies with honey than cow shite. I think there's probably a
14:08lot of female athletes who would have concerns about competing against a biological male or somebody
14:14who, you know, used to identify as male, and I don't think that they're necessarily bad people or
14:21transphobic or something just because they have a concern about that. He has statistics, but I have
14:26the actual primary source. Like, I'm a living transgender person. I feel like to have a view
14:31that a person can do a certain thing with something that they didn't choose, like a transgender person
14:38doesn't choose to be transgender. It's a fight within them. There are women doing women's sports,
14:43and there are men doing men's sports. Trans people exist, and like, where is a place for them in
14:49sports? So we need to just... Can gender be... Like, we need to realize it's on a spectrum.
14:53It's a spectrum. I'm gender fluid. Yes, I identified as she, and then I went today,
14:59and now I'm any pronouns. You can call me any pronouns. People talk about gender as a spectrum.
15:05I don't really find that conversation particularly interesting. You know, I think that there's men and
15:12there's women, and I don't think it's meaningful when people talk about some kind of third gender
15:17or a fifth gender or a 500th gender. I don't really know what they're talking about, and I don't think
15:22they know what they're talking about most of the time. Well, I'd agree with Ben. I just, I think,
15:27you know, when, let's say if you're born biologically a man and then you're transitioning into a woman,
15:33certain things like bone density and your natural strength will still be there, and we've seen some of the
15:37dangers in it in certain sports where it's mixed in where a man is competing, you know, well,
15:43he's a woman essentially, but still the physical attributes are there. It can be dangerous,
15:47very dangerous in those type of sports, boxing, the likes of that. Personally, I believe there is
15:52male and female. I do understand people, you know, I might be, people are born as female and they want
15:57to identify as male, but for me, from a biological perspective, from, you know, just everything that I
16:03know, for me, gender, there's two genders, male and female for me. I'm just saying there are legitimate
16:09concerns there that many female athletes do have, and I think they have a right to have those concerns.
16:15I don't think that that automatically makes them a bigot or hateful or something. Are those concerns
16:19founded in science and facts or are they founded on bias and transphobia, you know, so you need to have
16:27these questions as well, you know? Yeah. If somebody is on hormones, even if somebody has made a
16:33transition through various medical means, men still have physical strength that gives them an advantage
16:40in sports, and particularly when you're dealing with violent sports like rugby or boxing, I just
16:45think that it's not fair to subject women to that. That's my personal view. Yeah, I think we should move
16:50past the question. Where could it come from then, from female to male? Because I know a lot of males that are
16:55half as strong as I am, put me in a boxing ring and I'll knock the shit out of them, like, you know?
17:00You have to monitor, like, you have to have the same weight class, same boxing, right? You have to
17:04have the same weight class. You're not going to have a trans woman going with a woman that's, like,
17:10half the weight of them. They are training both as equal. They are pushing, putting in the effort in.
17:16That's not taking away. They didn't choose to be transgender, so why are they getting stripped away
17:20from their passion? Yeah, very true. Good point. I'm sure it's going to become very more popular now,
17:25so I kind of thought, maybe, to make it even, you can put them in a separate category, but look,
17:30I don't know if that's going to offend anybody. I'm going to take charge of this one. Is it ever
17:38okay to go through your partner's phone? No. No. No. Sort your insecurities out. Yeah,
17:43if you're going through your partner's phone, they shouldn't be your partner. That's bizarre.
17:46Yeah. Certainly not a courageous act. We don't exactly welcome this. And it's extremely common,
17:51so I can't imagine nobody at this table would do that. Absolutely. Or hasn't done it,
17:55or experienced it. I just don't know why you'd bother to look like. If there's something going on,
18:01it will present itself. Don't be sweating it out. Don't waste your life sitting around,
18:05being like, trying to figure something out, find something out. Live your own life,
18:08and it'll present itself in front of you. And if you feel live, ask. Yeah. Can I just ask,
18:14has anyone here ever cheated or been cheated on? Been cheated on, definitely. Yeah, I've cheated.
18:20No, but I wasn't. I've cheated. Before my boyfriend, I was in situationships,
18:23only situationships, long-term fucking situationships. That's my ideal,
18:26is a situationship. Yeah. And... What's elaborate on situationship?
18:31Like, yous are basically together without having the label of boyfriend and girlfriend, but...
18:34Yeah, but it's more so you don't have to, like, consider someone... Like, I love my own company
18:39to the point of, like, it's really scary. And, like, I... Yeah, I love my own company so much.
18:43I have my needs as a woman. I want sex, I want... Yeah, but see, the situationships I'd be in,
18:45they'd expect me to be, like, literally, like, work. I'm their girlfriend, but they're not my boyfriend.
18:50No, that's... That's how most situations work, I feel, though. Do you know? Um, but...
18:56Would you go back to someone that cheated on you? Depends. I don't think anyone should ever go back to the next.
19:00No, I'd have no trust. I'd go back for sex. Obviously. But what I was going to say, in...
19:04In past situationships, Amy.
19:07I had heard the word situationship before. I don't agree with them. Look, I'd call it casual dating
19:12rather than situationship, right? It's casual dating, and if both people agreed to that,
19:16and that's what we've agreed on. And when I was younger, probably be involved in situationships,
19:20but as I'm older now, again, you know, I don't want to play with people's emotions,
19:24and I don't want mine played with either. So I'd rather, um, more serious relationships rather than just
19:31casual, uh, wasting of time.
19:33Why can't we just practice ethical non-monogamy? You know, because instead of, you know,
19:39because I think there's also this illusion. Illusion is enough research and science that says that we
19:44are not meant to be monogamous. And we're, we're, we're almost fighting this, this thing.
19:50And then you feel like a failure. You feel like a failure when you, when you're not able to drive.
19:56Monogamy works for some people, and I'm very happy for them.
19:58The thing is, if I was walking down the street with a man, and I seen a delicious bum, like,
20:03I'd be like, look at this. Like, I want that. Like, why can't we admire that together?
20:09That's bizarre to me, that you're like, don't look, get the, get the lakers on.
20:12You want him then, don't you? You want him.
20:14That's like, I'm sorry, but reverse psychology as well, because the more you bring their attention
20:18to it, the less they're going to care. And then you go even a step further,
20:21when your partner is with, in another relationship with, who's making them happy,
20:26and you are thrilled for them, because you can see that they are absolutely joyful.
20:30That's powerful. And then they go out for a nice date,
20:32and then go out for dinner, and then bring home the, the, the, the doggy bag, and give it to you.
20:38This is bliss. This is bliss. Yeah.
20:41Andy's about to stay. I am very respectful of people who are very happily in, in monogamous
20:46relationships. But my experience was, my parents, my father was in a, in a 23-year marriage to my
20:52mother, 12 years, he was with another woman. And, and he was constantly unfaithful to my mother,
20:57and I remember feeling so betrayed, because not, he didn't only betray my mother, he also betrayed us.
21:01Absolutely. So for me, there was, monogamy never worked. So I, I, I totally understand and
21:07appreciate that. And obviously, that's a life experience that I've not had that has informed
21:11your view. And that's why we probably think about this differently. But for me,
21:15the solution is not to say, well, here was an imperfect example of monogamy where it didn't work
21:21out. So we should just blow up the whole concept. I feel like it's better to say, no,
21:26your father should have been, he should have stayed true to it. And he should have made it work.
21:30And I'm going to try and make it work better because, you know, the set, the solution is not
21:35to just detonate this thing that has been. Ben, I have made it better. I'm not committed to one,
21:39but two people. Yeah. I'm super committed.
21:42Like, hello. Ben, can you honestly say that you're truly content?
21:50Ben. Absolutely. A hundred percent.
21:52In the one relationship, yes. This is the first emotion I've ever seen out of Ben.
21:56Absolutely. No, but I just, because I'm genuinely curious, like, the only reason why I'm asking is
22:00because I actually used to think that I'm going to struggle with like, like, no one was ever good
22:04enough for me. And it was making me cheat because I was constantly, I was chasing things that I wasn't
22:09getting. Whereas like, because I'm just attracted to people. And when I make a connection, I want to show
22:14them I love them by having sex with them. I was like, I can't settle with one person. So like, to me,
22:19that's my ideal is like having a man and a woman in a relationship. And that's my ideal. Yeah.
22:24Because like, it's not to say that there might be a day where one man or woman does actually
22:28blow me off my feet. And I'm like, you are, you know, it might happen for me. It's just,
22:33that was always my confusion. I knew I was attracted to both sex, but I couldn't understand
22:39why I wanted more and no one was ever good enough. I like, I fancied everyone.
22:45I do believe in the traditional relationship where one person should be with the other and really try
22:50and focus on their life and make it work. But I also believe in if you love someone enough
22:56and they want to explore other avenues, then go ahead. You know, I think love, love is,
23:03can be broad. It can, you can love more than one person. So, yeah.
23:07I mean, you could, you could look at the impact that polygamists, and I know polyamory and polygamy
23:13are different and all of that, but there are countries where, because men, for example,
23:18are allowed to marry multiple women, let's say, you get this-
23:21That's the Old Testament, Ben.
23:23Well, well, that was wrong. You get, you get these weird social dynamics where
23:27you get many men married to a, uh, many women married to a man.
23:33And then out there, there's maybe three guys who there's no woman for them. Because in every
23:38population, there's about 50-50 men and women typically. And so you end up having these large
23:44groups of men who have no potential female partner. And then it causes social unrest and problems
23:51and so on. So, I feel the keys there. I've not robbed any women from any men.
23:55You know, just like, you know, they say, migrants, you're coming to our country,
23:57taking all our jobs, taking all our women. I have not done that.
24:00No. That was me. I just...
24:09Do you really think your fellow diners have been truly honest?
24:12Oh, God, I hate this. I love it.
24:18I've not robbed any women from any men. You know, just like, you know, they say,
24:21migrants, you're coming to our country, taking all our jobs, taking all our women. I have not done that.
24:25No. That was me.
24:28I just...
24:33New question. Do you agree with assisted dying?
24:36Interesting question, yeah. Important one.
24:39I do, just on the basis of dignity. I disagree, because I think it just
24:44promotes people that are on the brink of suicide, that they have a,
24:48you know, less of a barrier to do that. And I think as much as we can say yes, if somebody decides,
24:53yes, I want to die, but it affects people. It affects people afterwards.
24:58It's about people who are sick.
25:00People who have no cure who are...
25:02Is there things set up for that, is it? There is.
25:04Because I don't know too much about this.
25:06Switzerland is, you know, which...
25:08Dignitous. Yeah.
25:09It's dignity.
25:10As long as they're sound of mind and they're making that decision themselves, I think they should.
25:13Yeah, and you have to go through a process and you have to speak to a number of professionals.
25:15I'm sure you're trying to do it willy-nilly.
25:17Yeah, even when someone's like suicidal, like I know in Switzerland, they make sure that you've gone
25:22through every single protocol to try and like heal yourself or overcome that.
25:26But in Switzerland, they don't have to contact your family. Do you agree with that?
25:30They don't, like, people are going over there proceeding with it.
25:34And not telling their family.
25:35That's why I disagree, because I did hear about that with Switzerland.
25:38So that's what I'm thinking, it's in line with that.
25:40Because there are some people that at stage of life where they just, you know,
25:43things aren't going right and they'd like to end it. And if that is, there is an option,
25:47I think it'll promote more people down that path and make suicide more acceptable in my view,
25:52which it has ripple effects. Fair enough, somebody, you know, their lives are going down the drain.
25:57But a lot of those problems, when people are suffering mentally, there's always a solution to it.
26:02Tell me, regarding people who are suicidal again, after, at the age of, past the age of 50,
26:07you know, in the menopausal women have a higher rate of suicide than men.
26:11Right.
26:12And so this is really important.
26:13After the age of?
26:14I mean, they're menopausal, right after the age of 50, you know, that age.
26:19We brought that topic up very early on.
26:20And I have to actually mention, there's another reason why I'm wearing these clothes.
26:25It's my sister's birthday today.
26:27She would have been 60 years old today if she had not died by suicide.
26:32And it was at the same age. She died at the age of 57.
26:36Oh, that's terrible. Suicide has really touched this table, hasn't it?
26:39Really prevalent here. It's amazing how many people can relate to that story and support.
26:45And support, yeah.
26:46I know she tried for years and years and years to feel better.
26:51She tried everything she could. And when she took her own life at the age of 57,
26:57I, it was horrendous. Like, I didn't, I knew she was struggling and I was the last person to speak to
27:03her. I, and I lost complete objectivity, you know, as you do.
27:06Right.
27:07And that, and this assisted dying, even if it is for someone suicidal, if they can show that they
27:13have tried everything, we have to be compassionate. And like, it's horrible to think this. But the
27:19reality is, it's a person's life. Yeah.
27:22You know, I think she took, she did everything she could. And in the end, wouldn't it have been
27:27beautiful for us to have been able to say goodbye, just as you would with a terminally ill person,
27:32and then support that person to end their pain in a way that is filled with dignity.
27:39So for people who are suicidal, they should have the option as a, it's as a, as a response to,
27:44to what the term was saying. I just, I just can't agree with that.
27:48Every minute. I just can't agree with that.
27:52What was the option? Me flying over to Brescia where she lived and lock her up in a, in a room.
27:56Like I couldn't do that. So, and the way she died was horrific.
28:00Well, pain changes people. And that's my thing. Like pain changes you. Sometimes you make the wrong
28:04decision in the midst of pain and you think it's the right thing, but did you find out what the root
28:08cause of her depression was? Of course it did. We, we had the same, same parents, you know,
28:13we had the same mother. So we were both raised by a woman who was incredibly traumatized. She was,
28:20my mother was forced into a marriage at the age of 16. So, you know, just like her parents threw her
28:26out, you know, the same thing happened to me and my sister. And my mother always said, because she had
28:32three very difficult relationships with men, domestic violence, you name it, all of that. So she always told
28:37us, you know, whatever you do, don't get married to a man. In fairness, I didn't do that.
28:42My sister went and created a life around money. So she was incredibly successful, incredibly wealthy.
28:48And she thought it was being quite stupid, getting married and having children. And then at the age of
28:5353, when the menopause really hit for her, she realized that she'd made a massive mistake.
28:58She missed out on that. And then no matter how much she tried, she just couldn't see herself
29:02turning a corner and, you know, finding, with finding love or creating a family, she couldn't do
29:08that, you know. So it's heartbreaking. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Do you think, do you think if she
29:13had a, had a child that she wouldn't have gone down that route? It didn't have to be a child.
29:18It's just connection, just connection, you know. She really thought that love, that money would give
29:25her the security. And she was afraid of any kind of intimacy or any kind of relationship.
29:29But what we're seeing here is actually how you reach common ground, how you reach dialogue,
29:34isn't it? There's a space for people to talk. What did she fear about intimacy? Like, yeah.
29:40Because of what happened to my mother. You know, she saw my mother going for one relationship to
29:43another and each one was worse than the other. So she thought she didn't want to do that.
29:48Whereas I went the opposite way. Yeah.
29:50I know nobody at this table agrees with what I'm about to say or thinks that this is a good
29:55thing. But hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me, let me make the point. Let me make the point.
30:00In, we see cases like Canada where people can go in to receive assisted dying for being homeless.
30:07Like that's considered a valid reason. And you see cases in continental Europe, in like the Benelux
30:13countries where kids, like young kids under the age of 10 can get assisted dying and this kind of thing.
30:19And you know, we go, okay, that's, that's obviously horrible, but you know, we're not talking about
30:24that. But what we find whenever this gets legislated for is it ends up, there's like a creep where it
30:30slowly becomes more and more liberalized and then it ends up in those sorts of dark places.
30:35I really just think it's such a slippery slope. And we've seen that in so many countries around the
30:40world, like Canada and elsewhere, that this typically leads to some pretty grisly stuff that a lot of people
30:47don't support and don't really want to confront. They probably kind of help them along the way
30:52when they're in their last moments and they're like really in a bad way, they probably just,
30:56you know, give them a little bit. Yeah, like, yeah, I'd say so. Because nobody's going to argue that.
31:01Your, your loved one's dying, they're making awful noises and they look like they're suffering and
31:05whatever. Hit them off and nothing. Yeah, you ask them, yeah, you ask doctor, can you please give the,
31:09my relative, some more. Thank you for saying that. And they will not say no. Yeah, thank you for saying
31:13that. You know what I mean? Because you're, you know what I mean? So you're being very brave by saying this,
31:16because it's already happening. Yeah, I know, I know. So, so why can't we just admit it and name
31:21the elephant in the room and talk about it and not get, you know, on a stand on a self-righteous
31:27religious pedestal and say, oh, we can't do that because it's already happening, whether you like
31:30it or not. It is. Yeah, I, I just, again, it's not a religious argument. Like I didn't invoke
31:35religion once there. It's just an argument about how I think this has a tendency to become more liberal
31:40over time, to go to dark places like homelessness. I think the whole idea that we can have
31:46guardrails on this and if we just do it within these strict parameters that it's going to stay
31:51that way has not been observed in other jurisdictions. So, yes or no to assist the
31:55doing? Yes. Yes under certain, under what it's controlled. Yes, very tight. Yeah. I'd be,
32:02I'd agree with it as long as it was, it met a certain criteria and a very strict criteria.
32:08Good evening. Hello diners. Hello. Hello. Hello. So over the last few evenings we've seen the table
32:23sharing stories, forming bonds. Do you think your fellow diners have all been truly honest?
32:29This experiment is all about taking online conflict into the real world and seeing how we behave when
32:36we say things face to face. Before our dinner this evening we asked you all a few questions,
32:42with the exception of Dil, who is our newcomer. How did you answer when you had a chance to be
32:49anonymous? Oh God, I hate this. I love it. Sick bitch. Isn't that mad? Oh. Here we go. Who struggles
33:01to listen at the table? Ooh. Stephen's a comedian. Is he? Haven't laughed yet. And I don't think you
33:09ever will, Natasha. Yeah, I don't laugh at people who give their money to Conor McGregor.
33:13Who struggles to listen at the table? Ooh. It is Natasha. I'll go with Natasha. I think
33:29maybe Natasha struggles a little bit to listen at the table. I answered myself for this one.
33:37I said me. I said me as the first. I chose myself. I chose me, then I chose you. Yeah.
33:44Most of the table said. I don't know who voted for me. I don't really care,
33:47because like, if you didn't vote for me, you're wrong. I've seen her jumping in more and interrupting
33:55people while they're speaking. And if she just waited a little bit, a bit more patience and
34:00bash for the table. I, the only reason I said Natasha, I don't see it as bad that, that she can't,
34:04like that. I don't see how she can't listen. That's it. You know, I look in the mirror.
34:08I'm aware of who I am. I'm proud of who I am. I own that. I do some, I do wish that I could
34:13improve my listening skills. And I think being at this table with so many different personalities
34:17has helped me, but I'm actually really enjoying learning to listen. I'm not good at it, but I'm
34:23learning. I'm at the start of my learning. I think Natasha only struggles to listen because she's so
34:29passionate about what she is currently speaking about, that she probably doesn't get to hear
34:34all the voices. Also, a reason why we tend to struggle is if someone's boring while telling
34:39the thing. So you now, in the beginning, now you're a bit more engaged. But when you're talking,
34:45when you're like, in, that I can't, I'm locked into that I can't. That's even more in school. Them
34:52teachers that go around the block and down the avenue to get to a point, you've lost me. Yeah.
34:57But where does that come from? Can I ask? Natasha and Sophie, where, where? ADHD. ADHD. That's what you
35:03said you had, and that's, that's. Yeah, literally, I have ADHD. I got diagnosed finally last year.
35:07Well, don't change. Practice, but don't change. Practice, yeah. I'm learning.
35:11We asked you who's the funniest person at the table. If he's didn't all say me, no, I, oh,
35:21no, we're, well, you haven't made anyone laugh, so. I'm not a performing monkey for
35:26some comedian Stephen. Jesus. I voted for me first, and then I think I gave. You voted for
35:32yourself? Yeah. I'm the funniest person I know. Like, I don't think one of them are funny. I really
35:41don't think any of them are funny. The funniest, um. Andy was chosen as the funniest at the table. Oh,
35:49no, Sophie, how do you feel? Shy.
35:54Two people said themselves. Well, we know one now. Who's the other one?
35:59I think I'm the funniest. I think Andy would have said. No, I didn't know. No, I didn't know.
36:09It was me. I think so. I think so. Amy seems a little embarrassed by that. So you voted for yourself
36:16as the funniest. I don't think any more than you laughed at Andy though.
36:21We asked you, who would you least like to see again after this experiment? Oh, God.
36:34Um, who would I least like to see? Oh, it's hard. If it's me, it's Sophie, definitely.
36:41Yeah. I hate to say it, but probably Tom. Because I don't feel like he's representing the black community
36:55well. Ben is obviously the least likely person I would like to see again. I don't think me and him
37:01would get along outside or anything like that. And he hasn't changed my mind since I first met him.
37:06Probably Tame, because I haven't had any, you know, feeling that he'd want to ever see me again.
37:12Ben is very by the box. He's very statistics. I don't feel like he's ever met a transgender person
37:19before he's met me sitting next to him. I think I would not like to see Tame after this. He gives me bad energy.
37:29Tame and Ben! Tame, Tame. Tame, guys. Sorry.
37:34Don't allow people to just say your name wrong. That's what we've done for so long.
37:40There's so many people I know from Nigeria, Congo. When they've come to Ireland, they'll pick an
37:46easier name for people to pronounce or a name that's not anything from their heritage. So, like,
37:51you have the right to speak up. That's what I feel like he waters himself down. I feel like if he has
37:56experienced less racism, that's because he's watered himself down and his culture down when he's been in a
38:00white environment so that he feels more accepted. I'm not hugely surprised by that only because
38:06we're like the only two sort of conservative Christian guys at the table. Very true.
38:12No, I wasn't hurt by it. I can understand why. We're just different people.
38:17You know what I've done it by? Who would I have the most laughs over a drink?
38:20Yeah. And I literally don't drink so that eliminates that possibility. Neither do I.
38:27I think Ben has handled it very well particularly, hasn't he? Ben seems hard into it. He seems like he was,
38:31you know, maybe thinking that already. He doesn't take it personally. I think that's a really powerful
38:35thing. That's a lesson, lads. Start drinking. No, no. That's not the answer to everything, Stephen.
38:41I'm gesting. Of course. I've been there before. I'm joking. Stephen's a comedian. I know.
38:46I haven't laughed yet. No. And I don't think you ever will, Natasha.
38:51Yeah, I don't laugh at people who give their money to Conor McGregor. I didn't give anyone to anyone.
38:59There's tension on the table between Natasha and Steve and I think it's on a knife edge.
39:06This mash was lovely though. Mash was delicious. Yeah, lovely mash. This was the nicest dinner.
39:12On top of the attack at the beginning, every time I went to speak, there was a slight remark made.
39:17And it's just like, anything I said was going to be shot down. And I'd have to just liven you up,
39:22because you're just stiff. I just think, a few shots, a few shots and I'll give you a round.
39:30Not literally, but I just let you know. I kind of felt we're not bonding. We're not bonding.
39:36We're not like, you know, having a crack. You know what I mean?
39:39Different views, Fiona, I think, between me and you.
39:41I know, different. Yeah, probably, yeah.
39:49I think I'd loosen you up a bit now. I would.
39:51Oh! I bet you would.
39:53Down and dirty. Down and dirty.
39:56Get your mind out of the gutter.
39:59Do you know what? It was funny. I actually, I found it funny.
40:02And it's nice to see a bit of character from her. That's all I'll say.
40:07I'm glad I kind of said to Tame that he was a bit stiff because I thought he was towards me.
40:14So I'm kind of glad I got it out there, you know?
40:16There's not something I wouldn't say behind their back that I wouldn't say to their face.
40:21I got the vibe. I don't know, maybe this says something about my correct or incorrect reading
40:27of people. But from the first vote, I felt like I was going to get voted off. And I was really
40:32surprised when I didn't. And then the second time I thought the same. And then I thought you were
40:35going to pick me. So I've kind of, this whole time, I've basically been thinking, yeah, I'm probably
40:40out of here any minute. So the fact that I wasn't was very surprising to me. So I feel like my whole
40:48life I've kind of been in a minority in the sense that like I have, you know, I've had, I've been
40:55willing to take unpopular views among my peers on all sorts of issues that matter very much to me.
41:01Like I remember during debate class in school and the teacher said, okay, who wants to represent the
41:06pro-choice position and million hands go up and then who wants to represent the other view? And I was
41:11the only one who put up my hand. And so I was there arguing with literally an entire room full of my
41:17peers about this. You have people jumping on you making assumptions about you, what you believe
41:21and you know, like that's very socially isolating. I feel like Amy's struggling to hear this now.
41:28I'm wondering how anyone couldn't see such humanity in this, you know? And I don't think it's
41:36landed in that way. That's that kind of equal felt human sense, you know? I think Ben isn't authentic
41:43at the table. He lives in this journalism mode and he's always got his work head on. I think he's
41:50calculated and 10 steps ahead. And I think he's constantly editing this version of himself while
41:56he's at the table. And he's well experienced in it. So he's going to do it well.
42:02I don't want to say I wasn't willing to compromise because obviously you want to meet people halfway,
42:06you want to be reasonable, but I'm not willing to lie or say I don't believe something if I do believe it.
42:11You know what I mean? I'm going to be honest no matter what. Just to be accepted. Sure. But because
42:16of that, I felt like it kind of left me socially exposed or I was a little bit of an outcast,
42:23you know? And that was something that, again, I really struggled with. I felt when I was younger,
42:28it took me a long time to get to the point where I could be comfortable being a minority of one. So
42:34anyway, I only, I only say that to say I'm kind of, I'm used to being in a position like this.
42:41It was nice to see Ben talking about personal issues as well. I like Ben. I do like Ben.
42:50I can't, I still can't understand why there's a bit of an animosity around the table towards him.
42:55And I think he's authentic. I think whatever he's saying is coming from a good place and is the truth.
43:00I have a question. Guys, guys.
43:04Diners, you have one more night together. What debate is yet to be had?
43:09Oh, oh, there's a lot. There's something that Stephen, that we, that's been in you that you've
43:15wanted to know. I'm sorry, Stephen. I think I do need to hash something out with Stephen tomorrow.
43:19There's just something about me and Stephen that doesn't gel. I don't enjoy being rude and like,
43:25he just triggers me and I'm like, oh, you know, I just want him to shut up sometimes.
43:29I just have a resistance towards Stephen. I don't know. I think maybe we have some things
43:34to hash out tomorrow. Yeah, it's fine. Me and Natasha probably need to trash it out.
43:39I'll give her the time to have her speak if she gives me the time to have my speak and hear me out
43:44without putting in because I will blow a fuse eventually. Have a great evening.
43:49I feel like there's a bit, there's a bit of fire in the air. That's probably going to continue into
43:54the next dinner. Looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm buzzing now for tomorrow. Yeah, bring on the final
43:59battle. You love the headline. You're, you're waiting for the headline. There's no good people
44:05who take drugs. They're all scumbags. That's not true. Pain is pain. There is one more decision
44:10to be made. But really please, we don't have time. I feel disgusting. Like, I feel so bad.
44:14A detective revisits the crime scene trying to put the case together.
44:21Madeleine McCann searching for the prime suspect. Up next on Virgin Media Play and One.
44:44And 3 bake review.
44:50.
44:57.
44:59.
45:01.
45:02.
45:03.
45:03.
45:07.
45:09.
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