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  • 16 hours ago
Weeds [S2/E4] A.K.A. The Plant - Who Had The Weirdest Date???: Everybody goes on dates!
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Transcript
00:00Hey, you still want to go out tonight?
00:02Maybe I'm not available on such short notice.
00:04Are you?
00:06I could go for steak.
00:08Food's boring.
00:10Let's do something exciting.
00:26Sure you've never done this?
00:28I'm a teacher.
00:3018 years on the job.
00:32You ever killed anybody?
00:3418 years on the job.
00:40What's to stop you or me or them from just blowing somebody away?
00:46Death row.
00:50Okay.
00:52Your turn.
00:54One more?
01:04You have, um, amazing shoulders.
01:08No, they're tarnished.
01:10Look, bullet worn from the army.
01:14You saw battle?
01:16Israeli men are very macho.
01:18Everything is all fine when you bring another woman into bed.
01:20But you bring another man and they go crazy.
01:24So he shot you.
01:26To be honest, if he hadn't, I would have thought he was faggot.
01:30And the sex was great that night.
01:32The pain.
01:34And the pleasure.
01:36Very exciting.
01:38Here you go.
01:40The pain.
01:41Mm-hmm.
01:48Hello?
01:49Helia?
01:50This is Joseph.
01:52Joseph?
01:54Joseph.
01:56So, um, how are you?
01:59Well, I'm feeling somewhat conflicted, Helia.
02:02As a follower of Islam, one of the evils we must be watchful for is the enticing beauty of women.
02:09Yet I'd very much like to see you.
02:12That's a compliment, right?
02:14Are you available for marriage?
02:16Excuse me?
02:17Did you just propose?
02:19Oh, damn.
02:20You don't waste no time, Farrakhan.
02:23Oh, no, no.
02:24I'm sorry if you misunderstood.
02:26I was just inquiring if you were available for marriage down the line.
02:31Right now, I wish us to get better acquainted.
02:36I just love the way you talk.
02:40You want to date me, right?
02:41Look, I've been waiting here for two hours.
02:43Excuse me just a minute, Helia.
02:45I understand your frustration, ma'am.
02:49We will find your bags.
02:51I'm doing my best.
02:54Devil bitch.
02:55Helia, I'm afraid anything beyond phone calls would be unwise at this juncture.
03:03The temptation would be too great.
03:06How long it gonna take until you get unwise, cuz...
03:09Well, no disrespect to Muhammad, but I think you're damn fine, and I want to see you face to face.
03:15I'll see you in 40 minutes.
03:18The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading.
03:23What are you doing?
03:24Oh, I thought we were hitting it off.
03:28Yeah, we are.
03:29Good.
03:30Uh, oh, I'm sorry.
03:34It's too soon since your lover died.
03:38No, I've been with many men.
03:40Helps to get over things.
03:42Mm-hmm, good.
03:45Am I getting mixed messages here, or...?
03:47Look.
03:49You're adorable.
03:51But I'm not attracted to you.
03:55Sorry.
03:56Are you a chubby chaser or something?
03:58No.
03:59You just...
04:01I like a man.
04:03Someone big and strong.
04:06Someone who can grow a beard.
04:08You're pretty, and I could flip you like a pancake.
04:11You'd ask permission instead of just slamming me up against a wall and fucking me until I come like a volcano.
04:19But we can still be friends.
04:21Right?
04:22I want to try the Glock next.
04:27Or maybe the Magnum.
04:29Easy there, cowgirl.
04:30Maybe next time.
04:32We're done?
04:34I've got a long drive to Pacific Beach, and it takes me hours to sterilize my piercing needles.
04:39Sorry.
04:41Do you like going undercover?
04:45With you, I do.
04:46Oh, come on.
04:47It's exciting, isn't it?
04:49Until you get shot in the ass by a meth freak with a nail gun.
04:55Yeah, it's exciting.
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