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  • 11 hours ago
Death Race 2000 -Hd 1975
Transcript
00:00:00The End
00:01:30And sports fans everywhere.
00:01:34Today we inaugurate the 20th annual transcontinental road race.
00:01:39Today, the five bravest young men and women in this bravest of nations will risk their lives in the greatest sporting event since the day of the Spartacus.
00:01:52Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned for all the world to behold in awe, in respect, in fear.
00:02:04All right, all right. This is Junior Bruce, your buddy, buddy, and mine.
00:02:11And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-by-play, when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track.
00:02:18Do I hear the sound of engines? It's calamity Jane Kelly, queen of the road, at the wheel of that mean, old, ornery stud boy.
00:02:32Dany Janie, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, placed second in 1998, and led in last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble.
00:02:42Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janie better luck this year.
00:02:47My fans can wish me all the luck they want.
00:02:50If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely.
00:02:53Isn't that right, Pete?
00:02:55At the start of the race, only a heartthrob away, this is Grace Pander on the spot, as usual,
00:03:03to welcome the greatest racer of all time and a very dear friend of mine.
00:03:08Yes, in just a moment, he will be coming through the doors.
00:03:20There is no cause for alarm.
00:03:23The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation
00:03:26in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants.
00:03:31He should be coming around any moment now.
00:03:35Oh, it's gone.
00:03:36Oh, my God.
00:03:38Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive?
00:03:49How are things abroad?
00:03:50How is Mr. President?
00:03:52Is he still in Moscow?
00:03:54Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking.
00:04:00He loves everybody.
00:04:02And everybody loves him.
00:04:04We love him!
00:04:06Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart, Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee,
00:04:14and her lovable Nazi navigator, Herman the German Fox!
00:04:20Matilda, Herman, do you think this is your turn to be first and foremost in sunny California?
00:04:36Today, California.
00:04:37Tomorrow in the world.
00:04:38Hiya, Herman.
00:04:39I hope your buzz bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year.
00:04:49Whoever named your car the bull was only half right.
00:04:55Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race?
00:04:58Yes.
00:04:59Is it true that with your new mechanical arm, you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second?
00:05:05Would you care to comment on that?
00:05:07No.
00:05:07How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met?
00:05:12You'll love Annie.
00:05:13She's a red-hot sexpot.
00:05:15She better be a red-hot navigator.
00:05:20No more questions.
00:05:22It's the lion!
00:05:23And at the wheel, Ray Nero the Hero Lodigan.
00:05:27Never has finished the Transcontinental, but three big wins in the provinces this season, plus a brand-new beast, means Nero's not fiddling around.
00:05:38Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me.
00:05:42My fans want to see me.
00:05:44They've never seen a has-been before?
00:05:53Annie Smith?
00:05:55Mr. Frankenstein.
00:05:57I've checked out the car, and everything seems perfect.
00:06:00I have the route maps right here.
00:06:02I will check them in a minute.
00:06:06We will roll, and everything seems perfect to me.
00:06:12I've, uh, packed some high-protein capsules and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find.
00:06:17And I've also assembled a medical kit, just in case.
00:06:21I'm trained as a nurse.
00:06:22I don't need a nurse.
00:06:24I need a navigator.
00:06:25Mr. Frankenstein, you're very good at what you do, and I'm very good at what I do.
00:06:33We'll see.
00:06:34And you know, there's only one person who guns an engine like that.
00:06:42It's got to be the roughest, tough guy of them all, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo.
00:06:51Here he comes, Machine Gun Joe.
00:06:54Loved by thousands, hated by millions.
00:06:57Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein, highest lifetime score after Frankenstein, and he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves.
00:07:11Joe doesn't look too happy, but you just can't keep those Frankenstein fans down.
00:07:17Lousy, lousy son of a bitch.
00:07:20Frankenstein!
00:07:21Give it to them, Joe.
00:07:22You want Frankenstein?
00:07:24I'll give it, Frankenstein!
00:07:31Here he comes! Here he comes!
00:07:35Frankenstein!
00:07:36Frankenstein the legend!
00:07:37Frankenstein the indestructible, sole survivor of the titanic pileup of 95, only two-time winner of the transcontinental road race.
00:07:48Frankenstein, ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed, and reamed.
00:07:54A dancer on the brink of death.
00:07:57Frankenstein, who lost a leg in 98, an arm in 99, with half a face and half a chest, and all the guts in the world, he's back.
00:08:07God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back.
00:08:12In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein!
00:08:28You will regret that, Joe.
00:08:30Stay tuned, racing fans.
00:08:38T-Video Satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room.
00:08:43All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, ready to roll.
00:08:49Now, we take you to the Summer Palace and Mr. President.
00:08:55My children, whom I love so dearly.
00:09:14It has been my duty in the long and difficult years since the world crash of 79 to serve you as best I could.
00:09:26Never before in history have the masses forgone all comfort so that the spirit of genius might thrive
00:09:34and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty in the fertile field of minority privilege.
00:09:42And now, my children, the drivers are ready.
00:09:46The world is waiting.
00:09:48Once more, I give you what you want.
00:09:51Good morning, Americans.
00:10:06Once again, the race is underway, with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St. Louis and Albuquerque,
00:10:13home of the American Indian Museum.
00:10:16At this very moment, the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan,
00:10:20but no points have been scored as yet.
00:10:23Take it away, Junior Bruce.
00:10:26They're coming out of the Lincoln Tunnel now, with Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck.
00:10:31Then it's the Lion, driven by, pass by, Calamity Jane in the ball, moving into third place.
00:10:38Oh, my God.
00:10:42Let's go.
00:11:12Let's go.
00:11:42All right, and hey, hey, hey, the cars have split up.
00:11:46The driver's taking off on their favorite routes.
00:11:49Frankenstein's still out in front, headed due west, with Nero the hero on his tail, hoping to pick up his leftovers.
00:11:56Calamity James on a northwest hack.
00:11:58Matilda's buzz bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe, now streaking southwest.
00:12:04Once again, Mr. President.
00:12:06I have made the United Provinces of America the greatest power in the known universe.
00:12:12I have also given you the most popular sporting event in the history of mankind.
00:12:19The transcontinental road race, which upholds the American tradition of no-holds-barred.
00:12:27No-holds-barred.
00:12:30That's how he got to be president.
00:12:32Hypocrite pig.
00:12:33What about our ultimatum?
00:12:35He's been laughing us off for 15 years.
00:12:38Passive resistance means nothing to him.
00:12:40Pick up that flag, young man.
00:12:42It's time for action.
00:12:44It is not a time for violence.
00:12:46Mrs. Payne, I love Annie as much as you do.
00:12:48But she's no match for Frankenstein.
00:12:51And we can't risk letting him get away.
00:12:53Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world and a personal friend of Mr. President's.
00:12:57That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why they'll call off the race.
00:13:02To save his life.
00:13:03My granddaughter will succeed.
00:13:05Don't you ever take off that mask?
00:13:07No.
00:13:08Don't you know about my face?
00:13:09I've heard stories.
00:13:14Nobody's ever seen it, have they?
00:13:16Except I know they're navigators.
00:13:18And they're all dead.
00:13:21So they are.
00:13:26They say you lost most of your jaw in the crack of 92.
00:13:31And my right eye in 95.
00:13:34And my nose and my left eye in 97.
00:13:37And most of my cranium in 98.
00:13:38I'm held together with patches of plastic.
00:13:41And steel plates.
00:13:43It's not a pretty sight.
00:13:47You want to see?
00:13:50Why not?
00:13:50I've seen everything else.
00:13:52Remember, you're doing this on your own.
00:13:55I take no responsibility.
00:13:56What do you expect?
00:14:11Another pretty face?
00:14:17They really love you, Joe.
00:14:19Yeah?
00:14:20How come they ain't down there on the road proving it?
00:14:25Hey, you better make this left turn.
00:14:27You'll shave off about two miles that way.
00:14:29Yeah, all right.
00:14:30All right, all right.
00:14:52And yes, sirree.
00:14:54A clean hit.
00:14:55A perfect hit.
00:14:57And no pain for the target.
00:15:00Too bad the guy was only 38.
00:15:02Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points.
00:15:05But for the second year in a row,
00:15:07Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first.
00:15:12How'd you like that, huh?
00:15:14Get off of that one, Myra, baby?
00:15:18What's the matter with this engine?
00:15:20I don't know.
00:15:21Sounds fine to me.
00:15:23Amateurs.
00:15:25Get back there and retard the spark for, uh, three degrees.
00:15:42I don't know.
00:16:13I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back.
00:16:19As the cars roar into Pennsylvania, the cradle of liberty,
00:16:24it seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets,
00:16:29which may make scarring particularly difficult,
00:16:32even with this year's rule changes.
00:16:34To recap those revisions,
00:16:36women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets.
00:16:43But teenagers now rack up 40 points,
00:16:47and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points.
00:16:52the big score,
00:16:54anyone,
00:16:55any sex,
00:16:56over 75 years old,
00:16:59has been upped
00:16:59to 100 points.
00:17:02As always,
00:17:04how fast you move
00:17:05determines
00:17:06how long you live.
00:17:08how long you live.
00:17:09How long you live.
00:17:10How long you live.
00:17:10How long you live.
00:17:11How long you live.
00:17:11How long you live.
00:17:12How long you live.
00:17:13How long you live.
00:17:13How long you live.
00:17:14How long you live.
00:17:14How long you live.
00:17:15How long you live.
00:17:15How long you live.
00:17:16How long you live.
00:17:17How long you live.
00:17:17How long you live.
00:17:18How long you live.
00:17:18How long you live.
00:17:19How long you live.
00:17:19How long you live.
00:17:20How long you live.
00:17:21How long you live.
00:17:21How long you live.
00:17:22How long you live.
00:17:23How long you live.
00:17:24How long you live.
00:17:25How long you live.
00:17:26How long you live.
00:17:27How long you live.
00:17:28How long you live.
00:17:29How long you live.
00:17:30A beautiful kill, a neat kill.
00:17:58No calamities for Jane today. No, sir.
00:18:01And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one.
00:18:18What is that?
00:18:19Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital. We do it every year.
00:18:23Here he comes! He's coming!
00:18:28Frankenstein scores! Frankenstein scores at last!
00:18:40But what kind of a score, boys and girls?
00:18:43Just 110 points out of a possible big 700. What do you think about that, Gracie?
00:18:57Well, those doctors, dear friends of mine, have been pretty smug all these years setting up the old folks. Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn.
00:19:12Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor.
00:19:22Annie saved those old people. And she'll deliver Frankenstein.
00:19:27Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways.
00:19:31Ah, they're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators.
00:19:36But just remember, the Christians won.
00:19:39Did they, Mrs. Payne?
00:19:40I take it from your attire that your sabotage operations are being carried out despite my wishes?
00:19:48Mrs. Payne?
00:19:51We're set to hit them with everything we've got.
00:19:54Then, in the name of humanity, let Operation Anti-Race begin!
00:19:59How in the hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard?
00:20:11You're the navigator. That's your problem.
00:20:14You better think of something pretty soon or else you're gonna be out in your ass.
00:20:17It isn't my fault everyone scored before us.
00:20:20You should have gone after that Boy Scout camp like I told you.
00:20:23Well, try the goddamn Boy Scout camp.
00:20:25You know how fast those Boy Scouts move?
00:20:29Now, here's something more you're seeing.
00:20:32It's gonna be at least 200 points.
00:20:35If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.
00:20:39Come on! Come on!
00:20:43Go for the baby! The baby!
00:20:45That's it. Come get baby.
00:20:49Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points.
00:20:52Hey, I'm off the air! I'm off the air!
00:20:55Would you please take your places?
00:20:57Don't care!
00:20:59You're missing me!
00:21:00Grace, I'm with an interview right now.
00:21:02Hello, ladies.
00:21:04Isn't this just the most exciting race in years?
00:21:06I certainly think so.
00:21:08And guess what? I have a surprise for you.
00:21:10Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge in person on my show.
00:21:21The widow of Edward Bainbridge, whom, as we all know, was Machine Gun Joe Viterbo's first score.
00:21:30Welcome to my home.
00:21:33And may I call you Rhonda?
00:21:35Oh, please do, Mrs. Pander.
00:21:37Are we about ready here?
00:21:38Yeah, just about.
00:21:41So we have to go right away.
00:21:46As the widow of the race's first score, you have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco.
00:21:55Start the jam!
00:22:11And next year, you will be watching the race on a 50-inch, three-dimensional, octophonic T-video set.
00:22:19Fellow oppressed Americans, the execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero is the people's first stroke against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President.
00:22:33I am Thomasina Paine, founder and commander of the Army of the Resistance.
00:22:41For 20 years, Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep, when to love and when to hate.
00:22:50The age of obedience is over.
00:22:53In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman, I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights.
00:23:05We declare war upon the bipartisan party, on Mr. President, and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty, the transcontinental road rape.
00:23:21I thank you.
00:23:22I thank you.
00:23:25What the hell was that?
00:23:26I have no information.
00:23:28Is this race still on?
00:23:30I have no information.
00:23:32Well, what do you think?
00:23:33About what?
00:23:34About that speech.
00:23:36Add spice to the race.
00:23:38Spice?
00:23:39They've killed Nero.
00:23:41Yeah, they would've got more points for me.
00:23:43Don't you understand?
00:23:45They've declared war on the race and on you. Aren't you worried?
00:23:48The only thing that worries me is machine gun Joe for terrible.
00:23:52Is winning all you care about?
00:23:54Yes.
00:23:55It's the only standard of excellence left.
00:24:02Come on, here they come.
00:24:04About finished.
00:24:05Come on!
00:24:10Look at that stupid hole right in the middle.
00:24:13They won't get through there.
00:24:19It's me!
00:24:21The cars converge from all their roots and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis.
00:24:25Machine gun Joe is still leading the field with Frankenstein second, Calamity Jane third.
00:24:31Leaving Matilda the Hunt in fourth position and Calamity Jane facing another Calamity.
00:24:37Right now, Frankenstein's score points put him just ahead of Joe.
00:24:41Hey! Get off the roof!
00:24:43Jesus Chrysler! Get off the roof!
00:24:45Arriving first in St. Louis.
00:24:48Hey, dummy. Come on over and hold the lamps.
00:24:59The sacrifice.
00:25:01Where's the one that says welcome Joe for terrible?
00:25:04Score in the center of a bitch, Joe. You need every point you can get.
00:25:07I'll rematch them slightly.
00:25:11Put him out of his misery, Joe.
00:25:12Hey, is that fair?
00:25:13Yeah.
00:25:14Hey, should I let him go?
00:25:16Fair's always right.
00:25:17No, sir!
00:25:18What?
00:25:19Hey, should I let him go?
00:25:22Fair's always right.
00:25:47One thing before we begin, the government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero.
00:26:17Understand? He hit a tree and that's it. Got it? We don't want to depress anybody by...
00:26:23Hey, hey. Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck. It was on television.
00:26:29If you want to drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, you'll keep those opinions to yourself.
00:26:34Okay, go ahead.
00:26:35This is Grace Pander from St. Louis where Matilda, a dear friend of mine, is receiving a well-deserved rubdown.
00:26:44Tell me, Tilly darling, what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road?
00:26:49You can expect a victory by a member of the master race. A woman.
00:26:55Oh, Tilly darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence for someone who's lying fourth out of four.
00:27:01She doesn't mind as long as she's lying somewhere.
00:27:04Look, when I'm through with you, you're going to be lying estate, lady.
00:27:07Listen, miss, if anybody is going to Boot Hill, it's you and your biz bag.
00:27:10Buzz bomb.
00:27:11Shut up. Look, you just leave my navigator over.
00:27:14Girls, girls, girls, remember you're on TV land.
00:27:18Tiet, how do you like being a navigator?
00:27:20Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat.
00:27:26You'll get what's coming to you on the road.
00:27:28Oh, yeah?
00:27:29Well, what's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem.
00:27:33Frankenstein, can you tell us when you're going to make your move?
00:27:36Are you going to take any off-road chances for scores?
00:27:39Or are you driving all out to be first in the new L.A.?
00:27:43It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
00:27:46Frankenstein, a dear friend of mine.
00:27:49Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when at that electric instant,
00:27:52driving at 200 miles an hour,
00:27:54life and death coexist at the moment of scoring.
00:27:57You stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock,
00:28:01and you can answer that question for yourself.
00:28:13What are you doing? Get away from me, Joe! Go nuts!
00:28:20Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothing in your ear.
00:28:32Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you?
00:28:35He didn't say anything. He didn't...
00:28:37What did he say?
00:28:38Nothing.
00:28:39What did he say?
00:28:40Nothing.
00:28:41Look, I'm not playing games here, Myra.
00:28:42I want to know what he said.
00:28:43He said there was nothing sweet in my ear.
00:28:48In my ear.
00:29:01What do you want?
00:29:04My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:06I'm head of Chapter 7, St. Louis Lovers of Frankenstein.
00:29:10I was chosen from over a hundred girls.
00:29:12You offer me your body?
00:29:13Is that it?
00:29:14You want to make love to me because I drive the monster and wear this costume?
00:29:19No, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:20But that wouldn't be fair to your navigator.
00:29:23It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege.
00:29:26Besides, we understand your feelings.
00:29:29What do you know of my feelings?
00:29:30What do you know of my feelings?
00:29:34Everything.
00:29:35Like...
00:29:36Like why you're afraid of falling in love.
00:29:39And why winning the race means everything to you.
00:29:42How do you know these things?
00:29:44From my dreams, partly.
00:29:47And from letters I get from other fans.
00:29:50Plus, the club subscribes to an astrology service.
00:29:53Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, do you?
00:29:57I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:59I wanted you to know who I am.
00:30:02So it would have meaning.
00:30:04I don't understand.
00:30:07So what would have meaning?
00:30:09We love you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:11I know just saying it doesn't mean much.
00:30:14Why do you love me?
00:30:15Because I kill people?
00:30:16Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:19It's part of the race.
00:30:21You're a national hero.
00:30:23And we want you to know we're with you.
00:30:25A hundred percent.
00:30:27Good night, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:34I didn't hear you come in.
00:30:44What were you expecting, Machine Gun Joe?
00:30:47I thought I could trust you.
00:30:51You really just don't want to give me a chance, do you?
00:30:56I was trying to help you.
00:30:59I'm sorry.
00:31:02You wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 through the Cimarron Valley.
00:31:1754 is a dead end.
00:31:21It means nowhere.
00:31:23That's right.
00:31:25And if Joe takes it, he's sunk.
00:31:28The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first.
00:31:32Or if he's ahead of us.
00:31:36Is that the arm that came off in 98?
00:31:39Mm-hmm.
00:31:40And which one of those obviously perfect legs was it that came off in 99?
00:31:47The right.
00:31:49And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone.
00:31:53Is that right?
00:31:55Mm-hmm.
00:31:56It's a miracle you can still walk.
00:31:59Do you like to dance?
00:32:03Mm-hmm.
00:32:04Mm-hmm.
00:32:05Mm-hmm.
00:32:06No.
00:32:07Thank you very much.
00:32:08What's your意思?
00:32:09Oh, all right.
00:32:10Do you like to dance?
00:32:11Mm-hmm.
00:32:12Good boy.
00:32:13No one is low.
00:32:14Well, you don't go.
00:32:15Oh, come on.
00:32:16Oh, come on.
00:32:17No.
00:32:18My good boy.
00:32:19Oh, yes!
00:32:20Yes.
00:32:21Yes.
00:32:22New York편 with what was the last call,
00:32:23will be gone last week.
00:32:24Well, it was not gone, Larry.
00:32:25What's your fault or what was the end?
00:32:26Do you like to dance?
00:32:27Nope.
00:32:28Well, we're not gone.
00:32:29Yeah.
00:33:00Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you.
00:33:04What else did they replace?
00:33:09Wait a minute.
00:33:11And I'll show you.
00:33:21Oh, Mr. President.
00:33:23Bless thy children and make them strong.
00:33:27Bless thy daughters, Matilda and Jane.
00:33:30And thy son, Joe.
00:33:32And bless thy beloved son,
00:33:34the immortal Frankenstein,
00:33:36who has given so much pleasure
00:33:38to so many.
00:33:40To hell with Frankenstein.
00:33:41What about Joe Viterbo?
00:33:42The flag is down and they're away
00:33:55with machine gun Joe blasting into the lead
00:33:58on this second lap of the great transcontinental road race.
00:34:03Frankenstein is making a left turn
00:34:04splitting early from the pack.
00:34:06Look out, all you folks just south of here.
00:34:08Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us.
00:34:11Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:34:12Where's he going?
00:34:13What's he doing?
00:34:14Hey, what are you doing?
00:34:16Where are we going?
00:34:17I dropped my glove.
00:34:19Let not the ruin of thy robes
00:34:21disrupt the tires of thy...
00:34:23Hey, Chrysler!
00:34:26Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident,
00:34:29Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague,
00:34:32the deacon of the bipartisan party.
00:34:34I think you did that on purpose.
00:34:37I have to give the fans something to talk about.
00:34:40It's my obligation as a national hero.
00:34:43Frankenstein scores now.
00:34:45Does that score count, Harold?
00:34:46An interesting point, Junior,
00:34:49and one that may set a significant precedent.
00:34:52Can a racer score erase the bishop?
00:34:55Oh, and after all those nice things he said about him.
00:34:58It don't matter.
00:34:59It don't count.
00:35:00You can't score religious personalities.
00:35:03The word, deacon,
00:35:05has been handed down to us from the ancient...
00:35:08The, uh...
00:35:09Frankenstein score has been approved for 50 points.
00:35:13The confirmation has just been handed to me.
00:35:16Why, you know what that means, Junior?
00:35:18That means that the race officials from coast to coast
00:35:21will be falling like flies.
00:35:23Oh, shit!
00:35:24Frankenstein scores!
00:35:25I hate him!
00:35:26I hate him!
00:35:28He's elevating!
00:35:29He's elevating!
00:35:43He's elevating!
00:35:48Oh, why did she do that?
00:36:18Show me she loves me.
00:36:25Here they come, let's get picked!
00:36:40Chicken guy.
00:36:43Chicken in a basket.
00:36:45Chicken in a casket.
00:36:55Oh, shit!
00:37:06Yes, Dad!
00:37:07Hey!
00:37:08Hey, hey!
00:37:09Who got the last lap there, huh?
00:37:13The turn off, it's coming up!
00:37:19Should I take it?
00:37:20Who gives a goddamn shit?
00:37:22Should I?
00:37:23She says I shouldn't, so I should, right?
00:37:25Or should I?
00:37:26I don't know.
00:37:27Well, I don't think you should.
00:37:28I think it's definitely a trick.
00:37:30I'll do it.
00:37:31I won't do it.
00:37:32I'd be a schmuck to do it.
00:37:36I didn't have no schmuck!
00:37:38That's your story!
00:37:40That's right!
00:37:41That's right!
00:37:42If I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really gonna bust your eyes!
00:37:46What do you mean, really?
00:37:49I'll have an almost unlimited score possibility, but it's pretty far down the road.
00:38:02District Penitence Compound.
00:38:04All those old congressmen chained up can be like sitting ducks.
00:38:09Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence.
00:38:12Uh-uh.
00:38:13Look.
00:38:14The farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be.
00:38:17Hey, come on.
00:38:18Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two...
00:38:25Okay.
00:38:29Take the next ride.
00:38:32Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal.
00:38:36We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turn-off.
00:38:39Uh-huh.
00:38:40Lieutenant Fury figures...
00:38:41Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this.
00:38:44I want none of his surprises here.
00:38:47I could stand for a surprise, like if Frankenstein didn't show up.
00:38:50Don't worry.
00:38:51He'll show.
00:38:56What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque?
00:38:59Well, I'm not sure.
00:39:00I mean, this detour's gonna make a difference.
00:39:03Haven't you calculated our time of arrival?
00:39:05Well, of course I did, but I couldn't take into consideration that.
00:39:08Take what into consideration?
00:39:09Frankenstein, stop the car!
00:39:11Hold on.
00:39:17What the hell?
00:39:18Keep going!
00:39:19Don't stop now.
00:39:20What are you doing?
00:39:21What are they doing?
00:39:26Sorry, brother.
00:39:39If that's the best ambush the resistance can come up with, we've got nothing to worry about.
00:39:43I guess not.
00:39:44One thing I can't figure out is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me?
00:39:49Maybe he was a fan.
00:39:51Who built this stinking road?
00:39:52If I ever get my hands out of him, I'll rip his heart out!
00:39:56I mean it!
00:39:57I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you!
00:40:00I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think?
00:40:12Got in touch with those guys somehow and told them where we were going?
00:40:15I guess it might have been.
00:40:17But then how the hell did Joe know we were gonna take a detour?
00:40:21Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis who took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged.
00:40:28I didn't leave my book in the car.
00:40:31You didn't, huh?
00:40:32No.
00:40:33Well, then I guess it couldn't have been them.
00:40:36Who do you think it was?
00:40:38I have no idea.
00:40:40Why do you care as long as they didn't get you?
00:40:43Us.
00:40:44They didn't get us.
00:40:45We're a team, remember?
00:40:51Come on over to my side.
00:40:56You're gonna drive for a while.
00:41:01Why?
00:41:02I'm not trained as a driver.
00:41:04Never mind why.
00:41:05Just do as I tell you.
00:41:16I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us.
00:41:19Sure.
00:41:20Is there anything special in mine?
00:41:24Nothing will turn up.
00:41:26I'm sure that it will.
00:41:44Jesus H. Christ! I'll kill that breath!
00:41:47What is it?
00:41:48Shake that face!
00:41:51Hey Cornball, what's the fastest way through here?
00:41:54Well, actually the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer.
00:41:58We trim this edge down here and we drive through, but...
00:42:01No, no. What's the fastest way between here and Albuquerque?
00:42:03You gotta go back to the main highway, really.
00:42:05But I'll lose 45 minutes!
00:42:07I've seen you before.
00:42:08I'm one of your greatest fans.
00:42:09You know that?
00:42:10I follow all of the races.
00:42:12I got pictures of you all over the outhouse.
00:42:15I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:42:17I did.
00:42:18Lousy, stinking dirt bar.
00:42:20You got two seconds to live!
00:42:22That's it!
00:42:23I'm gonna save you all over the outhouse.
00:42:24I'll have to go back and see me.
00:42:25I won't go back and see me!
00:42:27Come on.
00:42:28I'm not gonna do anything!
00:42:29I'm gonna save you all my life.
00:42:31Come on!
00:42:32By the way!
00:42:34You'll never wait until you see me!
00:42:35Come on, Pete, honey.
00:43:04You gonna take all day with that?
00:43:06I want to get on the road, make a few more scores.
00:43:08My bloodlust is fading.
00:43:10I'm almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart.
00:43:12We'll be back on the road in no time.
00:43:14Then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her.
00:43:16What'd you say?
00:43:18Lipstick!
00:43:21You lazy bitch!
00:43:22I'll kill you for that!
00:43:24Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it.
00:43:34Uh-oh, here she comes.
00:43:47And boy, is she pissed.
00:43:49Well, what does she expect?
00:43:50You leave your navigator lying around.
00:43:52Naturally, somebody's gonna run over them.
00:43:54I'll kill you for that!
00:44:24She's gaining on us, Mama, and she's got murder on her mind.
00:44:40Mach schnell, meine kleine fuzzball!
00:44:44That's good.
00:44:47That's good.
00:45:03That's good.
00:45:13All right.
00:45:14Three.
00:45:15One.
00:45:16Two.
00:45:17Put it.
00:45:18Easy.
00:45:19Steady as she goes.
00:45:33Here they come!
00:45:39The danger!
00:45:40I really needed that right now!
00:46:03Holy shit.
00:46:13A special bulletin.
00:46:15There's been an accident.
00:46:16An explosion.
00:46:18It looks like Matilda has been blown totally...
00:46:25Correction!
00:46:27Matilda has made an impressive score.
00:46:30Stand by.
00:46:33Don't you want to take over now?
00:46:37I'm afraid of making us lose an awful lot of time.
00:46:40You're doing just fine.
00:46:53Looks like an easy score.
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:55Yeah, it does.
00:46:56It's always best to start small.
00:47:03I missed him.
00:47:04Take some practice.
00:47:05Before it comes easy?
00:47:06It never comes easy.
00:47:07Keep your eyes on the road.
00:47:08How far is it to the penitence compound?
00:47:10Oh, maybe 20 miles.
00:47:12Stop the car.
00:47:14Get out.
00:47:23Oh, maybe 20 miles.
00:47:29Stop the car.
00:47:39Get out.
00:47:41Out.
00:47:49Come to the other side.
00:47:51Around the front.
00:47:53Where is the penitent's compound?
00:47:58It's in Japan.
00:48:04Get in.
00:48:05I can just put you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points.
00:48:09Who are you? Who are you working for?
00:48:11I can just put you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points.
00:48:15Who are you working for?
00:48:16I'm Thomas Hina Payne's granddaughter.
00:48:17I'm honored.
00:48:21I can just put you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points.
00:48:32Who are you? Who are you working for?
00:48:35I'm Thomas Hina Payne's granddaughter.
00:48:37I'm not grander.
00:48:40I'm honored.
00:48:43So you were going to capture me and replace me with that goon back there.
00:48:47What for?
00:48:49He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President.
00:48:53Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race.
00:48:57You were born in the air.
00:48:58You were born in the wild.
00:48:59Have a great day.
00:49:00You were born in the air.
00:49:01You were born in the air.
00:49:02You were born in the air.
00:49:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:49:28She was a great, dear friend of mine.
00:49:32And I shall remember her forever howling down that freeway in the sky, knocking over the angels.
00:49:42The valiant Huns' demise was, in fact, caused by enemies of the people.
00:49:48There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1900 hours.
00:49:54Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life.
00:50:01Clementine, turn off the television.
00:50:01Our national honor.
00:50:03Hey, you guys, you want to stop playing that song, please?
00:50:06Look, what we got here is a race, a sporting event.
00:50:09Not some kind of daredevil stunt. I want some kind of protection.
00:50:12You should have given us an escort right after Nero got it.
00:50:14Go on, Joe's going to escort, wouldn't you, baby?
00:50:17You want to zip your lip, Myra? Huh?
00:50:19Now, are you going to cover me or not?
00:50:21Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit?
00:50:25You're calling me a turkey?
00:50:26If you ask me, you're all just making excuses for poor driving.
00:50:30Poor driving?
00:50:31Listen, honey, Matilda the Hun was a champion driver.
00:50:34Ain't nobody could have scored my navigator and gotten away with it.
00:50:37And he's talking about poor driving.
00:50:39I'd like to see you out there.
00:50:41Yeah.
00:50:41I've been driving for 10 years.
00:50:42Nobody talk about me like this.
00:50:44You know, you're an idiot.
00:50:44It's all on account of the rebels.
00:50:46Who mentioned anything about rebels?
00:50:48There are no rebels.
00:50:50Understand?
00:50:51Well, then, who was that old lady on the television?
00:50:54Thomasina Payne.
00:50:55She's a heartless lunatic.
00:50:56Would you please come outside, sir?
00:50:57We'd like to ask you a few questions.
00:51:03Come on, Annie.
00:51:04Alone, if you don't mind.
00:51:06Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation tonight.
00:51:10How did she jam the networks?
00:51:12How'd she bump off our friends?
00:51:13She didn't bump off anybody.
00:51:15She walked into a television station, waving a gun, forced them to put her on the air.
00:51:19Now, we've taken her back to the asylum, and that is the end of it.
00:51:22You know, I've got just two words to say about that.
00:51:24Oh?
00:51:25Bullshit!
00:51:28Hey!
00:51:29I told you to stop playing that song!
00:51:32You seem to forget, Joe, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government.
00:51:37I happen to hold the power of life and death.
00:51:40Yeah?
00:51:40I happen to hold the clamp saw.
00:51:42Look out, Paterbo.
00:51:46You may be the second biggest clown in this circus, but if I want you dead, you're dead.
00:51:51Sit down and eat!
00:51:54I told you to stop playing that music!
00:52:01Were they armed, or did they expect the fire in the ditch to be enough to stop you?
00:52:06I don't know what they expected.
00:52:08We just ran through it all and kept on going.
00:52:11Just one more question, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:52:15Did you take that particular road on your own initiative, or on the advice of your navigator?
00:52:20On my own initiative.
00:52:25Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:52:26That will be all.
00:52:27There has been a lot of talk about American rebels.
00:52:34We have positive proof that it was none other than the treacherous French who have been sabotaging our great race.
00:52:43Just as they and their stinking European allies have undermined and destroyed our great national economy.
00:52:53It is no coincidence, my dear children, that the word sabotage was invented by the French.
00:53:00Where's Annie?
00:53:02I don't know.
00:53:03Hey, did you hear the news?
00:53:04Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda.
00:53:08Gallant heroes.
00:53:09Watch out for the creeps who's in.
00:53:10Lamedy, Jane Kelly, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, and Frankenstein, as they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey toward new Los Angeles.
00:53:28Drop your keys.
00:53:31He's just looking for something I lost.
00:53:34The race?
00:53:34Look, Joe, I threw you off course, okay?
00:53:40All's fair in love and war?
00:53:42I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie, because what we've got going here definitely ain't love.
00:53:49Well, then why don't we just forget about it?
00:53:52You know, Annie, it's too bad things ain't like they were in the old days, and we just take somebody in an alley and blow their brains out.
00:54:00You know?
00:54:02Joe, please.
00:54:03Go ahead and scream, Annie.
00:54:04You're hurting me, Joe.
00:54:06There's nobody to hear you.
00:54:08Huh?
00:54:13How does it feel to know that you're going to spend the rest of your life in pain?
00:54:18The rest of your life.
00:54:20It's about a minute and a half.
00:54:23Oh, I'm sorry.
00:54:23Hey, Frank.
00:54:25Frank, I'm glad you came here.
00:54:26I caught your navigator trying to screw around with the car, so I thought I'd come out and have a look at what was going on.
00:54:32You know what I mean?
00:54:33Hey, come on.
00:54:34Frank!
00:54:34Frank!
00:54:34Oh, my God.
00:54:35Oh, my God.
00:54:36Oh, my God.
00:54:36We're going to do nothing.
00:54:37Now, we'll do nothing there.
00:54:37Oh, my God.
00:54:38Oh, my God.
00:54:52Oh, my God.
00:54:53Oh, my God.
00:54:54Oh, my God.
00:54:57Oh, my God.
00:54:57Oh
00:55:27Ah!
00:55:31Ah!
00:55:32Ah!
00:55:56Upstairs.
00:55:58So much for a fair fight.
00:56:00Next chance I get, you're dead.
00:56:12What were you doing down there?
00:56:13Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe?
00:56:21Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with?
00:56:24No need to.
00:56:28Blowing your cover?
00:56:30You're no threat to me.
00:56:32Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away.
00:56:35I have a job to do.
00:56:37Your job is a waste of time.
00:56:39The world doesn't want to be saved.
00:56:41I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it.
00:56:45Yourself.
00:56:47Who are you, anyway?
00:56:51Nobody.
00:56:53I was brought up in a government training center to be just what I am.
00:56:56Frankenstein.
00:56:57The best driver on earth this year.
00:56:59They use one up.
00:57:02They bring in another.
00:57:04But I will be the last of the line.
00:57:06Oh, who's kidding who?
00:57:07Who's kidding who?
00:57:12I never kid.
00:57:13Why don't you ever take off that glove?
00:57:19What's underneath it?
00:57:20That's my secret.
00:57:25You and the Swiss doctors again?
00:57:26There are no Swiss doctors.
00:57:27Just...
00:57:28You and the Swiss doctors again.
00:57:29There are no Swiss doctors.
00:57:30Just...
00:57:40Native American.
00:57:41No one.
00:57:45No one.
00:57:46I don't think so.
00:57:48You and the Swiss doctors again?
00:57:50There are no Swiss doctors.
00:57:52Just...
00:57:55Native American.
00:57:58No one.
00:58:00Have you checked the oil?
00:58:21Yes.
00:58:22Have you checked the hydraulics?
00:58:23An hour ago.
00:58:24Brakes, tires, water?
00:58:26Yeah, they're okay.
00:58:27Everything's okay.
00:58:28Don't worry.
00:58:29I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car.
00:58:35You get a load of that face?
00:58:36Yeah, I wonder if somebody got points for that eye.
00:58:41Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me, and Joe left in the race.
00:58:45Well, I just want you to know that whoever wins or whatever happens, it's been really grand racing with you folks.
00:58:53I also want to say that I think you make a real nice couple.
00:58:56Thank you, Kate.
00:58:58Good luck.
00:58:59Joe, Myra, I just want to say, whatever happens, whoever wins...
00:59:12Hey, save it for the French.
00:59:13The cars are started, lined up, and ready to roll on the last lap.
00:59:21They're off.
00:59:22They're off.
00:59:22Frankenstein, call me Franklin.
00:59:24Joe has just scored his own pit crew.
00:59:27You lousy sons of bitches.
00:59:28You lousy sons of bitches.
00:59:29Yeah!
00:59:30Woo!
00:59:32Machine gun Joe the turbo, that funny man from Chicago, has scored his own mechanics for 40 points
00:59:39and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein.
00:59:43Screw you, Joe the turbo and your mother!
00:59:55Wait till you get the new L.A. first, with the highest score of two.
00:59:59It's coming up on the left.
01:00:02Forget it.
01:00:02I'm keeping Frankie in my sights.
01:00:05He's got five minutes on us and he's stretching it.
01:00:08So what?
01:00:09If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first.
01:00:11Oh, yeah.
01:00:13Take a look at your face.
01:00:14You'll find it first.
01:00:18You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute.
01:00:21But me, I think you're one very large baked potato.
01:00:25Roaring down motorway 66 towards California, Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line.
01:00:31But Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points.
01:00:36And he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles.
01:00:40What's your prediction, Grace?
01:00:43You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago,
01:00:49he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle.
01:01:10Ah!
01:01:27Oh, my God.
01:01:57Oh, my God.
01:02:27Oh, my God.
01:02:57Oh, my God.
01:02:58Oh, my God.
01:02:59Oh, my God.
01:03:00Oh, my God.
01:03:02Oh, my God.
01:03:03Oh, my God.
01:03:04Oh, my God.
01:03:05Oh, my God.
01:03:06Oh, my God.
01:03:07Oh, my God.
01:03:08Oh, my God.
01:03:09Oh, my God.
01:03:11Oh, my God.
01:03:12Oh, my God.
01:03:14Oh, my God.
01:03:15Oh, my God.
01:03:16Oh, my God.
01:03:17Oh, my God.
01:03:18Oh, my God.
01:03:19Oh, my God.
01:03:20Oh, my God.
01:03:21Oh, my God.
01:03:22Oh, my God.
01:03:23Oh, my God.
01:03:25Oh, my God.
01:03:26Oh, my God.
01:03:27Oh, my God.
01:03:28Oh, my God.
01:03:29Oh, my God.
01:03:30Oh, my God.
01:03:31Oh, my God.
01:03:32Oh, my God.
01:03:33Oh, my God.
01:03:34Oh, my God.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:36Oh, my God.
01:03:37Oh, my God.
01:03:38Oh, my God.
01:03:39Oh, my God.
01:03:40Oh, my God.
01:03:41Oh, my God.
01:03:42Oh, my God.
01:03:43Oh, my God.
01:03:44Oh, my God.
01:03:45Oh, my God.
01:03:46Oh, my God.
01:03:47Oh, my God.
01:03:48Oh, my God.
01:03:49Oh, my God.
01:03:50Oh, my God.
01:03:51Oh, my God.
01:03:52Oh, my God.
01:03:53Oh, my God.
01:03:54Oh, my God.
01:03:55Oh, my God.
01:03:56Oh, my God.
01:03:57Oh, my God.
01:03:58Oh, my God.
01:03:59Oh, my God.
01:04:00Oh, my God.
01:04:01Oh, my God.
01:04:02Oh, my God.
01:04:03Oh, my God.
01:04:04Nonsense. I've waited 20 years for this moment.
01:04:07Oh, I know I can't join you on the mission,
01:04:09but I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes.
01:04:14A couple of turn-offs coming up.
01:04:17What's the quickest wait in U.L.A.?
01:04:19That's funny.
01:04:20What?
01:04:23I can't... I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map.
01:04:27I think we stay on seven.
01:04:29I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
01:04:32Look at that.
01:04:34It's Sam, isn't it?
01:04:38Please, please, Dr. Carr.
01:04:40Sorry. We're at a race.
01:04:52Frankenstein, stop right now. We want to talk to you.
01:04:57Stop before I force you to.
01:04:59I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:01I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:02I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:06I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:28Annie, help me.
01:05:30Turn off the engine.
01:05:34Annie's dead, Mrs. Payne.
01:05:35He must have killed her.
01:05:39Now I'm really going to let him down.
01:05:51Look at that.
01:05:52The rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein.
01:05:54Thank you, rebels.
01:05:56Baby, I think we got this race won.
01:05:59Aren't we going to help him, Joe?
01:06:01What, are you nuts or something?
01:06:02I'm getting my ass out of here
01:06:03before they decide to make emergency landing.
01:06:05Come on, sit down.
01:06:08That a girl.
01:06:33I'm getting my ass out.
01:06:34No, no.
01:06:36No.
01:06:36No.
01:06:37No.
01:06:37No.
01:06:38No.
01:06:39No.
01:06:39No.
01:06:41No.
01:06:45No.
01:06:46No.
01:06:48No.
01:06:48No.
01:06:49No.
01:06:50No.
01:06:51Yes, No.
01:06:51No.
01:06:52Oh, my God.
01:07:22Oh, my God.
01:07:52Well, America, there you have it.
01:08:04Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force,
01:08:08and he's whipped their derrieres.
01:08:10His point total for this one will be something astronomical.
01:08:14Machine Gun Joe better watch out.
01:08:23Right on schedule.
01:08:24Hey, what happened?
01:08:26I slipped you a 30-minute sleep ex.
01:08:28Didn't want you doing something back there we would both regret.
01:08:31Did they attack us?
01:08:33According to the radio, we were attacked by the French Air Force.
01:08:36Was the plane shot down?
01:08:38Even those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped.
01:08:41I'm sorry.
01:08:43I know they were your people.
01:08:45But I can't let anything stop me now.
01:08:47They didn't expect you to give up easily.
01:08:49They were prepared for whatever happened.
01:08:52Oh, my God, you've been hit.
01:08:54I'll make it.
01:08:58I'm sorry things worked out this way.
01:09:01It's not over yet.
01:09:03I'm afraid it is.
01:09:05Hey!
01:09:06Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:08Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:09Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:10Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:11Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:12Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:13Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:14Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:15Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:16Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:17Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:18Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:19Oh, my God, you've got to get out of here.
01:09:20What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:09:39It doesn't make any difference what happens to me.
01:09:41Now, that is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say.
01:09:45I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Payne's blood in your whole body.
01:09:48The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff.
01:09:53If you just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help.
01:09:58How can you possibly expect me to help you?
01:10:01You're my navigator.
01:10:02You're the only one who knows where you're going.
01:10:05I mean, whose side are you on, anyway?
01:10:08I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race.
01:10:11Sure. Only the winner of the race is to shake hands with Mr. President.
01:10:16Is that a grenade?
01:10:18A hand grenade.
01:10:20That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember.
01:10:26Now, wait a minute. I don't want you to die.
01:10:33It's my life's work.
01:10:34It's my life's work.
01:10:35It's my life's work.
01:11:01Why do I want to win this race so bad?
01:11:18Why do I want to win this race in the name of hate?
01:11:22One big 50 for hate.
01:11:31The race.
01:11:39The race.
01:11:41The race.
01:11:42The race.
01:11:46The race.
01:11:51Let's go.
01:12:21Let's go.
01:12:51Give me your hand.
01:13:06Give me your hand.
01:13:21Hey, son, will you stop the car?
01:13:25Shut up! What is this?
01:13:26Stop the car!
01:13:26Stop the car!
01:13:28Stop the car!
01:13:30Stop the car!
01:13:31Stop it!
01:13:32You're going to have to shift the gears for me now.
01:13:45The only thing that worries me is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President?
01:13:53Mr. President's the one who should be worried now.
01:13:56He's coming!
01:14:17Can you hear that engine?
01:14:19Still in perfect tune.
01:14:22Here he is!
01:14:23The one and only three-time winner and sole survivor of the 20th annual transcontinental road race,
01:14:31none other than Frankenstein himself.
01:14:34And now, Mr. President.
01:14:37Our enemy, the French, have destroyed nearly all our gallant races,
01:14:44just as they have crippled our once great economy and wrecked our telephone system.
01:14:51But even they, in all their evil power, were unable to destroy Frankenstein,
01:14:59who is the embodiment of our national virtue, and therefore, indestructible.
01:15:07It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president
01:15:12to lead you in this war against the French, which I now decree.
01:15:17Frankenstein has been shot!
01:15:22There is a French spying army!
01:15:24God, seize that woman!
01:15:27Frankenstein, are you all right?
01:15:41Eddie!
01:15:42Eddie!
01:15:42Oh
01:16:12Mr. and Mrs. President Frankenstein, dear friends of mine, can you tell us what your first official acts will be?
01:16:38I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles.
01:16:47The country has been governed from abroad long enough.
01:16:49Mr. President Frankenstein, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government?
01:16:55Well, since I have accepted one into my house...
01:16:59President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Payne, in view of her experience in the field, as the Minister for Domestic Security.
01:17:07And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels. Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live.
01:17:16What about the race?
01:17:18The race is abolished.
01:17:20Abolished?
01:17:21That's right.
01:17:22We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence to show the world that its virility is still intact.
01:17:29Right.
01:17:30But, Mr. President Frankenstein, isn't it true that, as a racer, your popularity depended entirely on violence?
01:17:35I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question.
01:17:39Stop annoying Mr. President with important questions, Junior.
01:17:43It's the race, man.
01:17:45President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race. The American people won't stand for it.
01:17:50Get out of the way, Junior.
01:17:52The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear. Our American way of life. Sure it's violent, but that's the way we love it. Violent, violent, violent. And that's why we love you.
01:18:02Frank, do we have to listen to this?
01:18:04Be violent.
01:18:05No.
01:18:06As to this matter of violence, the technique of violence was first developed in two million B.C. by the Australopithecines, a tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of, and that's why we love you.
01:18:31Who are humans to speak of, but who, nevertheless, invented the tomahawk, and used it on each other. This practice led to the enlargement of the brain. Another useful weapon. Yes, murder was invented even before man began to think. Now, of course, man has become known as the thinking animal.
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