- 3 weeks ago
A divorced woman finds sexual liberation through online dating.
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TVTranscript
00:00:00To be continued...
00:00:30The story I'm about to tell you may shock you, make you feel uncomfortable, even scared, but not for the reasons you think.
00:00:38Mom!
00:00:39Hey, sweetheart.
00:00:41Chad's mom says not to pick him up on Thursday. He's not going to practice.
00:00:45Thank you. Now why don't you go take your dirty uniform off and put it in the laundry?
00:00:52This is my story, and it's real. It's not a fantasy or a nightmare, although it has elements of both.
00:01:00It's a story of liberation through sex, power, domination, submission, and love.
00:01:07The story has its beginnings, like many, in what I now see with a very unhealthy marriage.
00:01:22Woo-hoo! Take that, jerk-off!
00:01:24Tyler, how many times do I have to tell you to turn that game off?
00:01:29And don't talk like that.
00:01:34Hello?
00:01:35Hey, how's it going?
00:01:37Oh, hey, um, good. I guess you got checked in okay?
00:01:41Obviously, I wouldn't be calling you right now.
00:01:43Listen, I'm going to stick around for a couple extra days, do some golfing with a few of the guys.
00:01:47Oh, okay. Well, as long as you're going to be back by Halloween?
00:01:53Yes, Delane, how many times do you have to ask me? I will be back to take the kids trick-or-treating.
00:01:57Mommy, is that daddy?
00:01:59Um, yes, it is, sweetheart.
00:02:01Tyler, it's time for dinner!
00:02:03Amanda wants to talk to you. Hold on one second.
00:02:04No, listen, Delane, I gotta go. I gotta meet some guys down at the bar. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
00:02:10Okay.
00:02:13I wanted to say hi to daddy.
00:02:15Oh, I know. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I promise we'll call him tomorrow, okay?
00:02:20Okay.
00:02:22Now, napkins in our laps.
00:02:25I didn't know it then, but this was the beginning of the end.
00:02:28For years, I'd single-handedly raised our two children while my husband made a living.
00:02:32He was rarely around, and when he was, his attention was elsewhere.
00:02:36So when he was home, I tried to keep the peace for the sake of our kids, and when he was gone,
00:02:41I just made excuses.
00:02:55Hello?
00:02:59Is Robert there?
00:03:00No, he's away for work.
00:03:03Who is this?
00:03:20Chabot Osborne Grill.
00:03:21Hi, I just got a call from this number.
00:03:25It was a woman asking for my husband, Robert Morris.
00:03:30That was Natasha.
00:03:32Just hang up on her.
00:03:34Just hang up.
00:03:35No, no, please, don't hang up.
00:03:36Hello?
00:03:52Hello?
00:03:58Your girlfriend just called.
00:04:00What girlfriend?
00:04:01What are you talking about?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:03Natasha?
00:04:04Natasha?
00:04:05Okay, listen to me.
00:04:10I'm coming home.
00:04:11I'm coming home right now.
00:04:19Robert insisted he wasn't in love with Natasha.
00:04:22It was purely sexual.
00:04:25He said the affair was my fault.
00:04:27If I had been more interested in sex, he wouldn't have gone looking for it elsewhere.
00:04:35So I tried.
00:04:37Somehow I managed to twist the betrayal I felt into anger at myself for being an inferior wife,
00:04:42and instead of demanding that he leave, I forgave him.
00:04:46Even though the act of sex made me feel even less connected to him.
00:04:50Jim said Robert invited him to go to the car show this weekend, so...
00:04:55Oh, gosh!
00:04:56What just happened?
00:04:58Oh!
00:04:58I...
00:04:59Every once in a while I get this searing pain in my hip.
00:05:04It's...
00:05:04Oh, I've been to three doctors, and none of them can tell me what's wrong.
00:05:09That's because Western medicine sucks.
00:05:11Oh.
00:05:12You need to go see an acupuncturist.
00:05:15And I had that thing with my neck.
00:05:16It's the only thing that worked, and the guy I saw was good.
00:05:18I'll give you his number.
00:05:20Graham's the name.
00:05:21Okay.
00:05:24Here it is.
00:05:26An acupuncturist.
00:05:28You know that stuff's just a bunch of phony crap, right?
00:05:31There's no scientific evidence that sticking needles into your skin relieves pain.
00:05:35I just haven't slept through the night for weeks.
00:05:37I want to try it.
00:05:40Okay, fine.
00:05:41Try it.
00:05:42But we're going to cancel your gym membership.
00:05:45So the choice is yours.
00:05:46You can have some tree huggers, sticky with needles,
00:05:49or you can have your spin class.
00:05:51Up to you.
00:05:56Over the years, I had deferred so many decisions to my husband
00:05:59that I wondered if I was capable of even making the right choice anymore.
00:06:03I hadn't always been like that.
00:06:06I could remember a time when I was confident and happy,
00:06:09and I could hold my own in any situation.
00:06:13Acupuncture is a study of the body as a whole.
00:06:15Chi is the energy that flows through us.
00:06:18And when it's interrupted, you have pain.
00:06:21But that doesn't mean that the block is in the hip.
00:06:23It might be somewhere else in the body.
00:06:27You can sit up now.
00:06:28So since your doctors have ruled out organ malfunction and you haven't had any injuries,
00:06:37let's talk about your emotional health.
00:06:41Can you think of anything that might be causing you stress?
00:06:43No, everything's good.
00:06:48Well, it may take a few sessions, but we'll figure it out.
00:06:52There was something about Graham that made me feel centered.
00:07:02His sessions helped me so much, I started going twice a week.
00:07:07And about a month in, I had what you might call a breakthrough.
00:07:12What did today's session trigger?
00:07:20My husband had an affair.
00:07:27He's the first person I've told.
00:07:33I can't really blame him, though.
00:07:34I looked her up online, and she's gorgeous.
00:07:36Delane?
00:07:37His cheating had to do with him, not you.
00:07:42I just want him to be attracted to me.
00:07:48He says he will.
00:07:50After I get breast implants.
00:07:52Whose idea was that?
00:07:59Mine.
00:08:01Sort of.
00:08:04I just want him to be happy.
00:08:07Are you happy?
00:08:11I will be.
00:08:13When I feel like I'm enough for him.
00:08:20Delane.
00:08:21For there to be real love between two people,
00:08:32there has to be a spiritual relationship.
00:08:36And a physical relationship without the spiritual,
00:08:38it's like a body with no soul.
00:08:41But you have a beautiful spirit.
00:08:44See, women have a feminine energy that we don't.
00:08:47So the masculine energy craves the feminine one for completion.
00:08:51And that's why it's more about a spiritual connection than a physical one.
00:09:00You exude that feminine energy.
00:09:03And that is why you are so alluring.
00:09:14Graham's words made me feel attractive again.
00:09:17For years, I just turned my head and ignored it when Robert would stare at a beautiful woman in a restaurant or at the store.
00:09:22But when I thought of Graham, I thought of a man who couldn't keep his eyes off me.
00:09:29For once, I was the object of desire.
00:09:32And on nights when Robert was gone, I began to imagine what it would feel like to make love to Graham.
00:09:43I did feel guilty fantasizing about someone who wasn't my husband.
00:09:47But those fantasies awoke something in me that had been gone a long time.
00:09:51Well, uh, normally I'd tell you that you don't need to come in as often.
00:10:07But I'm not going to say that.
00:10:08I want to make sure that I'm not making a mistake.
00:10:36I was saying it's a mistake.
00:10:39Your head or your heart?
00:10:40I want to break bread with you
00:10:45To dance amongst the dead with you
00:10:49To fall into the arms of the sea
00:10:54And to breathe
00:10:56I want to break you
00:11:01I want to say I love you
00:11:06Can't be true to
00:11:08Feel your body
00:11:10Breaking through
00:11:12It's
00:11:12Breathe and breathe and breathe
00:11:16So
00:11:18Even though I was riddled with guilt afterward
00:11:22I did something I never thought I would do
00:11:25I had sex with someone besides Robert
00:11:28Go ahead, go ahead
00:11:32There are people who will tell you that an affair can actually make a marriage better
00:11:36Okay, go again
00:11:39You guys
00:11:39One, two, three, four, five
00:11:42Hey
00:11:44Did you forget to pack my gray slacks?
00:11:47Oh, they were still with the cleaner
00:11:49So I packed your brown ones instead
00:11:51And the shirt that goes with them
00:11:52Right
00:11:53You see
00:11:54This is why you need to ask them specifically for next day's service
00:11:58It's the whole reason we switched dry cleaners, right?
00:12:00Try to go ten times
00:12:01Go
00:12:01Yeah
00:12:02I guess it was
00:12:03Yeah
00:12:05Okay, I gotta go
00:12:07It doesn't make it better
00:12:13It just gives you something to escape to
00:12:16Whose turn is it?
00:12:17Mine
00:12:18Awesome, let's go
00:12:19The marriage is still broken
00:12:21Three
00:12:22A broken marriage for me at that time seemed a better alternative than a broken home for them
00:12:28So I chose to stay with Robert
00:12:30By February, Graham and I were embroiled in a full-on affair
00:12:35For the first time in years
00:12:38I felt loved
00:12:40But to protect my kids, we never met where a nosy neighbor or a gossipy soccer mom might see us
00:12:46Our meetings were confined to his clinic or clandestine rendezvous and hotel rooms
00:12:52I don't know how to explain it
00:12:53Robert always made me feel like he could do better
00:12:59And Graham makes me feel like I'm the best there is
00:13:04Okay
00:13:06What about the kids?
00:13:11That's what I wanted to talk to you about
00:13:13Part of me thinks the kids would be better off with Robert not around so much
00:13:17Tyler's picking up some of his bad habits
00:13:19Okay, what does Graham have to say about that?
00:13:26He says it's impossible to have a healthy upbringing in an unhealthy environment
00:13:31It's better to have two parents that are happy and apart than together and dysfunctional
00:13:49I am so horny
00:13:55Robert, shut the door
00:13:59No, no, no, wait
00:14:00When I get back from the trade show, I think we should schedule your gift to me
00:14:06I'm going to be around a lot more
00:14:07I can take care of the kids while you recover
00:14:10And one of the guys from work
00:14:13He told me his wife had a great surgeon
00:14:15So he's going to send me the doctor's info
00:14:18What?
00:14:28I don't want breast implants
00:14:30I don't want to stay in this marriage
00:14:35I want a divorce
00:14:39You want a divorce from me?
00:14:45I've thought a lot about it
00:14:47So, that's it?
00:14:53No discussion?
00:14:54Nothing?
00:14:55You don't want a boob job and you're leaving now?
00:14:58Please keep your voice down
00:14:59I...
00:15:01This marriage hasn't worked for a long time, Robert
00:15:07What are you talking about?
00:15:09We've been happier now than we have in years
00:15:12I'm not happy
00:15:13Oh, right, okay
00:15:16So, what's it going to take to make Delane happy?
00:15:21I don't know if you can
00:15:23I don't know if you care to
00:15:26Do you have any idea
00:15:31How selfish and ungrateful you are?
00:15:35Hmm?
00:15:36You know how many women would love to have what you have?
00:15:39A husband who provides for his wife and kids
00:15:41So she can just sit around the house all day?
00:15:45I don't sit around the house all day, Robert
00:15:47Come on
00:15:48You have no idea how good you have it
00:15:52None
00:15:52I don't know what else to say
00:15:59I just want this to end
00:16:05No
00:16:06No, you know what?
00:16:08Actually, I don't think you do
00:16:09I think this is just some kind of ploy
00:16:11So you can get more attention
00:16:12Poor Delane
00:16:14She's not fulfilled in her marriage, right?
00:16:19You know what?
00:16:19I don't have time for this crap right now
00:16:21I work today
00:16:23I busted my hump to provide for you and the kids
00:16:26So you know what?
00:16:28If you think I'm that bad
00:16:30Just go sleep on the couch
00:16:31This is my bed
00:16:33I bought it
00:16:34Go have your little pity party somewhere else
00:16:37Go
00:16:41I hadn't planned on telling Robert the way I did
00:16:59It just came out
00:17:00Because I couldn't keep it inside any longer
00:17:01I felt such a mix of emotions
00:17:04Relief that the marriage was finally over
00:17:07Happiness that I could start over with Graham
00:17:09Fear of how vindictive Robert would be during the divorce
00:17:13And guilt
00:17:15Incredible guilt
00:17:18That I was taking my children's family away from them
00:17:21Did Robert move out yet?
00:17:26He's going to this weekend
00:17:27Did you tell him about Graham?
00:17:29No
00:17:30No
00:17:30I'm afraid he'll hold it against me with the kids
00:17:33You know
00:17:33Your mother's leaving me for another guy
00:17:35Do they know you're separating yet?
00:17:38Robert thinks I should be the one to tell them
00:17:39So while he's getting his stuff out
00:17:42The kids and I are going to leave the house
00:17:43And then I will sit them down and explain it to them
00:17:46I'm dreading it
00:17:50There are a lot worse things than having divorced parents
00:17:54Not to a four year old
00:17:57Okay, so we're going to have a really important talk
00:18:04You know how
00:18:07Mommy and Daddy haven't been
00:18:09Very happy lately
00:18:12We've been sad
00:18:14Well, sometimes
00:18:19In order for Mommies and Daddies to continue to be really good parents
00:18:25We have to do things that don't make
00:18:28Sense
00:18:30Are you getting a divorce?
00:18:34Yeah, sweetheart
00:18:35We are
00:18:36We decided that
00:18:41Mom and Dad are going to live in separate houses
00:18:44Why?
00:18:48Because that way we can all be really happy
00:18:51You know, it'll be like your friend Hannah
00:18:54She lives with her mom and her dad
00:18:57I know this seems like a really big change
00:19:02And it's hard to understand right now
00:19:06But it really is the best thing for all of us
00:19:09I promise you
00:19:10No! I don't want it! I hate you!
00:19:13Tyler, please
00:19:15It's okay, Mommy
00:19:23I'm not mad at you
00:19:24I just love you most so much
00:19:32The spring had brought with it a sense of revival for me
00:19:38Freedom
00:19:39And it came through Graham
00:19:41I was scared to be on my own
00:19:43But somehow
00:19:44I knew I just had to keep moving forward
00:19:46Even Tyler began to have moments where he would
00:19:49Smile and laugh
00:19:51I finally felt like my life was moving in the right direction
00:19:55Mom! Look! Hannah's here!
00:19:59Oh, you can go say hi if you want, honey
00:20:00Just hold on to your sister's hand
00:20:02Sarah!
00:20:03Hey!
00:20:04Hi!
00:20:06How are you?
00:20:09It's nice to see you
00:20:10I see you completely got suckered into this place as well
00:20:13Yeah, it's the only way I can bribe Hannah to go to the dentist
00:20:16Oh
00:20:17So, how are you?
00:20:19I haven't had a chance to talk to you since Robert moved out
00:20:21That's right
00:20:23I'm doing really well
00:20:25Thank you
00:20:26Really?
00:20:27Yeah
00:20:28That look makes me think you've met someone
00:20:31I have
00:20:34He's wonderful
00:20:36What's he like?
00:20:40He's tall, dark and handsome
00:20:44He's been super fit
00:20:46He's a big runner
00:20:48He's got these beautiful, light, caring eyes
00:20:52He's into spirituality and healing
00:20:54And he's an acupuncturist
00:20:55Um
00:20:56I do not explain it
00:20:58He's just very centered
00:20:59Well, where's his practice?
00:21:02It's over on, um, South Main
00:21:05On the west side
00:21:05He doesn't drive a gold SUV
00:21:10Yeah, he does
00:21:11His name's not Graham, is it?
00:21:18Yeah
00:21:19Yeah, it is
00:21:20This is too funny
00:21:21How do you know him?
00:21:24Wow
00:21:25Sarah?
00:21:29Uh, I don't even know how to tell you this
00:21:32What a complete dick
00:21:34Tell me what?
00:21:37You're starting to freak me out
00:21:39Graham
00:21:42Is in a relationship with another woman, too
00:21:47The woman he's with
00:21:50Is having a baby in three weeks
00:21:52No, that's not possible
00:21:56No
00:21:56My grandma's divorced
00:21:57He already has three kids
00:21:59It's not the same
00:22:00Delaine, it's the same one
00:22:03The woman that's having his baby is
00:22:07My friend
00:22:08We used to go running with him every weekend
00:22:11I'm so sorry
00:22:16How could you do this to me?
00:22:41After everything that I went through with Robert
00:22:44All the love and the trust that I showed you
00:22:47How long were you going to put my life on hold?
00:22:53I don't know
00:22:53Say something besides, I don't know
00:22:55Help me make some sense out of this
00:22:57I didn't tell you because I didn't have the balls to
00:22:59Is that what you want to hear?
00:23:04I don't know, I guess I figured you'd
00:23:05You'd find out eventually
00:23:08And you did
00:23:10That's what I'm going to get?
00:23:14After the crap about a spiritual connection
00:23:16And how I should be enough for someone
00:23:17Well, clearly, I wasn't enough for you
00:23:19I wasn't lying when I said you were a beautiful person
00:23:21I left my husband for you, Graham
00:23:24That's not true
00:23:25You left your husband because he didn't love and appreciate you
00:23:28Well, neither did you
00:23:30This was my punishment, I thought
00:23:39For having an affair while I was still married
00:23:42For wanting more than I had
00:23:43My head was still so messed up from Robert
00:23:47And at the time, part of me still felt like I didn't deserve anything better
00:23:50I know about her now
00:23:53But back then, I was still in the old habit of believing everything was my fault
00:23:57You're getting divorced, Delane
00:24:09You're not dead
00:24:10She's right, you know
00:24:11After my divorce, I tried online dating
00:24:13And I loved it
00:24:15It's like choosing men or women out of a catalog
00:24:17Women?
00:24:18Yeah, something I always wanted to try
00:24:20Oh lord
00:24:21You know, I don't know anything about this lesbian thing
00:24:25But I agree with the online dating
00:24:27Okay, it just sounds weird to you
00:24:29Because it wasn't invented when you and Robert tied the knot
00:24:33I'm just going to want to date a 36-year-old with two small kids
00:24:37I think these could be cute
00:24:38Very cute, put it on my list
00:24:40No, why would they care?
00:24:42It's not like you're bringing your kids on the date
00:24:44Just drink, dance, and have sloppy sex
00:24:47Well, that's not the kind of date I want
00:24:51I want a relationship
00:24:52A real one
00:24:53With a guy that's kind of like Graham
00:24:56Just faithful
00:24:57Pretty sure I deserve that
00:24:58You definitely do
00:25:00First off, there are a lot of great guys out there
00:25:02Who are not going to be intimidated by your entourage of little munchkins
00:25:06But I just don't understand why you have to find Mr. Right
00:25:10Start with Mr. Tonight
00:25:12Because she doesn't want a one-night stand
00:25:14She wants what's always been missing from her life
00:25:17A guy who will love and respect her
00:25:19It's never going to happen sleeping with a guy three hours after meeting
00:25:22Okay, the 1950s called and they want their sexual politics back
00:25:25Old-fashioned or not
00:25:27She's too good to be somebody's booty call
00:25:30You know, a guy that respects women
00:25:33And I mean truly respects women
00:25:34Is going to get that we are in control of our own sexuality
00:25:37Where were these when I had my kid?
00:25:38There's no need to play this game
00:25:40Of how many dates to go on
00:25:42Before you fall into bed
00:25:43Hoping he'll call the next day
00:25:44Sounds like you think I should sleep around
00:25:47Delaine
00:25:48I'm just saying that if you want to bunk up with this guy on the first date
00:25:51Then do it
00:25:52If it's the tenth, it's the tenth
00:25:54Or never
00:25:55But it should be when you want
00:25:58Not when you think it's been long enough to earn his respect
00:26:01Hmm
00:26:04So I picked a free site
00:26:07And I created a profile
00:26:09I didn't put much stock in it
00:26:11I just wanted to see how many of these guys still found me appealing
00:26:14Do you have 43 new responses?
00:26:16This guy messaged you
00:26:33He's 23
00:26:38Fitness model slash entrepreneur
00:26:40Translation, no job
00:26:42And he spends a lot of time at the gym
00:26:44He says he's attracted to older women
00:26:46Won't you feel like a cougar if you go out with him?
00:26:50Oh yes
00:26:51Is that a bad thing?
00:26:53Show me another one
00:26:54Okay, this guy is Cal
00:26:57He is 45
00:26:59Software developer
00:27:00Divorced
00:27:02Twin boys
00:27:03No, he's not bad
00:27:06You like him?
00:27:08He's not as tall as Graham
00:27:09Don't compare these guys to Graham
00:27:12I think you should go out with him
00:27:14Really?
00:27:15Mm-hmm
00:27:15What have you got to lose?
00:27:17For the first time
00:27:25In 16 years
00:27:26I got ready for a date
00:27:28Oh my god
00:27:32I forgot how hard that is
00:27:34Hi
00:27:41Hi
00:27:42Hi
00:27:42Hi
00:27:43Hi
00:27:51That's what you call
00:27:56The mobile unit you are trying to reach is unavailable.
00:28:07Leave a voice message at the tone.
00:28:11Hey, Cal, it's Delane.
00:28:12I'm here at the bar, and I just wanted to let you know I'm wearing a blue shirt.
00:28:17Just in case maybe you walked in and didn't recognize me.
00:28:22Okay, well, I'm looking forward to meeting you, of course.
00:28:25Bye.
00:28:26Do you want me to open it to Ed?
00:28:29Yeah, I'm sure we'll order food when he gets here, so thanks.
00:28:33All right, I'll bring the menu.
00:28:34Thanks.
00:28:40So he stood you up.
00:28:42Aren't you glad you found out he's a jerk now instead of later?
00:28:46I didn't need this crap right now, not after what Graham did.
00:28:49I know, honey.
00:28:51Do you want to come over?
00:28:52I have vodka and really bad store-bought cookies.
00:28:55Oh, thanks, though.
00:28:58Are you sure?
00:28:59We could go out.
00:29:01You could get sloppy drunk, and I'll be your designated driver.
00:29:04No, I'm fine.
00:29:06I'll just go home and take a hot bath.
00:29:08Okay.
00:29:09Call me tomorrow, okay?
00:29:10Yes, ma'am.
00:29:13You get back to your downward dog.
00:29:15All right, love.
00:29:16Good night.
00:29:17Good night.
00:29:23And in a momentary lapse of reason, I made the granddaddy of all mistakes.
00:29:28Can you guess what I did?
00:29:30Mia?
00:29:30I went to Graham's house.
00:29:37Graham?
00:29:40Graham, please open the door!
00:29:47Graham, please open the door!
00:29:50Looking back, I can truly say, this was my low point.
00:30:07Every woman has moments of craziness, I suppose.
00:30:11Just thank God no one was home that night to witness mine.
00:30:17I was logging onto the site to write a scathing message to Mr. Software Developer when I got
00:30:21my first email from the Duke.
00:30:25I was already over the whole concept of meeting someone online, but for some reason I decided
00:30:29to open his message.
00:30:31I'm a dominant alpha male with two basic kinks.
00:30:35First, I'm very attracted to strong, confident, dominant women, and I like them to be sexually
00:30:41submissive to me.
00:30:44Second, I like helping to create monsters.
00:30:48Powerful, demanding women who want to rule submissive or beta males for support.
00:30:53So, if you're a top-shelf alpha female, not afraid of the work, you need to be a woman
00:30:57like that, and looking for a mentor to support you in pursuing your alpha dreams, let me
00:31:02know if you're bi, that would be very nice.
00:31:06Is this guy for real?
00:31:13Oddly enough, I couldn't get the Duke and his words out of my head.
00:31:18After picking up the kids from Roberts the next day, I went back and re-read his email
00:31:22a few more times.
00:31:24He wanted to chat.
00:31:25The area code matched his profile, which said he lived in Seattle.
00:31:30That was a long way away, so even if he was some sort of freak, it's not like he could
00:31:34come here and find me.
00:31:36So I decided one phone call couldn't hurt.
00:31:41Guys, if you want to go to the pool, you better go get dressed right now.
00:31:44Okay, Mom!
00:31:52Don't forget your jacket.
00:31:53Yeah.
00:31:55Don't forget your jacket.
00:32:00Hello?
00:32:02Hi.
00:32:04Is this, um, Duke?
00:32:06The Duke.
00:32:08This must be Delaney.
00:32:10Yeah.
00:32:10I take it you decided to call because you were interested in what I said in my email?
00:32:15Interested is a strong word.
00:32:19Curious is more like it.
00:32:21I don't know that much about the whole dom-sub thing.
00:32:28Well, what would you like to know?
00:32:30Oh, I don't know, um, I mean, you don't wear a vinyl mask when you have sex, do you?
00:32:39No.
00:32:40You're confusing domination with sadomasochism.
00:32:44I'm not into whips and chains and ball gags.
00:32:48I'm more into the mental side of domination.
00:32:50Oh, I think that's good.
00:32:53I think.
00:32:54There are physical elements like teasing or spanking at times.
00:33:00But before we even went into the bedroom, I might grab you by the hair, look into your eyes, and tell you that you're going to do everything I wanted.
00:33:11And you would.
00:33:13Because you know I'm worthy.
00:33:16Oh.
00:33:16So this is more about men controlling women?
00:33:22Not at all.
00:33:24Being submissive to an alpha male does not make you a weakling or a doormat.
00:33:28Quite the opposite, actually.
00:33:31Alpha females are capable, confident, and strong-minded.
00:33:38They want an alpha man to take control and challenge them because they don't get to experience that type of pleasure.
00:33:46In a vanilla relationship.
00:33:50I thought about what the Duke said.
00:33:53Had I been in a vanilla relationship my entire life?
00:33:56Was it time to try something new?
00:33:59So, this Duke guy, he's going to teach you to be more assertive by making you submissive?
00:34:07Yes.
00:34:09How does that make sense?
00:34:11Basically, by turning over control of my sexuality to him.
00:34:14He's going to show me how to control it.
00:34:17How to be more empowered.
00:34:19Not following.
00:34:21Okay.
00:34:22It's sort of, um...
00:34:23It's like this.
00:34:26Women who are empowered are in control of their sexuality as much as men are.
00:34:30She chooses who she's going to sleep with.
00:34:32She dictates how men are going to treat her.
00:34:34And she doesn't allow them to treat her like crap.
00:34:37Worthy so far?
00:34:37Well, I've never been that way.
00:34:41I've allowed men to treat me like a doormat.
00:34:43I've never been in control.
00:34:44They've always disrespected me.
00:34:46But with the Duke, it's different.
00:34:49It's my choice to engage in this with him.
00:34:52I have to give consent to be submissive.
00:34:56If I choose to submit, it's up to me.
00:34:59And I can choose not to submit.
00:35:00That's up to me as well.
00:35:02How do you know he's not just some creep who gets off on telling women what to do?
00:35:06Because the stuff he's telling me to do is not really for him.
00:35:10It's more for me.
00:35:12Example.
00:35:15He wants me to go out with a younger guy.
00:35:18How young is this guy supposed to be?
00:35:21I mean, like that gym rat you met online?
00:35:24That's exactly what I was thinking of.
00:35:26Peyton.
00:35:27And he's still messaging me.
00:35:29And do what?
00:35:29I mean, do you date him?
00:35:31Do you sleep with him?
00:35:32What?
00:35:33Yeah, all of it, I guess.
00:35:34He just wants me to take control.
00:35:37How?
00:35:38I don't know, Hallie.
00:35:40This is what the Duke is going to teach me.
00:35:43Okay.
00:35:59Are you doing what I told you to do?
00:36:21Are you looking at yourself?
00:36:21Yes.
00:36:26Yes, what?
00:36:28Yes, sir.
00:36:31Describe it to me.
00:36:35Well, it's two pieces.
00:36:38It's black and sheer with white lace around the edges.
00:36:42It has garters, it has garters, it's black, and there's stockings.
00:36:49I'm not ordering it out of a catalog, Delaney.
00:36:51Describe it to me in a way that makes me want to tear it off you.
00:36:56Now.
00:36:56I don't know what to say.
00:36:58That is not an acceptable answer.
00:37:02I don't want a sub that can't turn me on.
00:37:04Come on.
00:37:07Describe it.
00:37:11Um.
00:37:14Well.
00:37:16The top.
00:37:20The top is sexy.
00:37:24It's black and sheer.
00:37:26You can almost see through it.
00:37:28Not quite.
00:37:30It's feminine.
00:37:31A little bit naughty.
00:37:36Good.
00:37:37Good.
00:37:38What else?
00:37:42The bottoms match.
00:37:44They come up just far enough to hug my hips.
00:37:49And the white lace caresses my thighs.
00:37:55The garter has this...
00:37:58black bow...
00:38:00on each side.
00:38:01Holds up my stockings.
00:38:05Those are...
00:38:06soft.
00:38:08Sheer.
00:38:11And they're tight against the curves in my legs.
00:38:14That's very good, Delaney.
00:38:18Now go to your bedroom window...
00:38:20and open the curtains.
00:38:25And I'll know if you don't do it.
00:38:26Good girl.
00:38:27Good girl.
00:38:27Now stand in front of the window...
00:38:31good girl now stand in front of the window and get undressed do as I say remove your top in front
00:39:00of the window I have neighbors so so I don't want him to think that I'm what too lazy to close the
00:39:11blinds no slutty what does that mean to you that word it means a woman who has sex with pretty much
00:39:23anyone she wants and what's wrong with that women aren't supposed to want multiple partners
00:39:29society says women should be chaste and pure to be worthy of love women that love sex that are in
00:39:37full control of their sexuality are called sluts skanks whores but I don't buy that
00:39:44and I'm not going to let you buy into it either a woman's sexuality is her own and there is no shame
00:39:53in loving sex now I want you to say not all men are worthy of receiving me those that are must prove
00:40:05not all men are worthy of receiving me those that are must prove it excellent now do as you're told
00:40:26stand in front of the window and get undressed
00:40:30so
00:40:38so
00:41:47I want you guys to be very, very good for Hallie, okay?
00:41:53You need to go to bed exactly when she says to.
00:41:55Promise?
00:41:56We will.
00:41:57Okay.
00:41:59Mom?
00:41:59Yeah.
00:42:00You're the coolest mom ever.
00:42:02Well, you're the coolest kids ever.
00:42:04Who loves you?
00:42:05You.
00:42:06So much.
00:42:07So much, so much.
00:42:09Okay, good night.
00:42:10I'll see you in the morning.
00:42:16Hi.
00:42:17Oh, my God.
00:42:18This is perfect.
00:42:20Have fun on your date.
00:42:21Thank you so much.
00:42:23The Duke decided I needed what he called sexuality boot camp.
00:42:37If I wanted to find my alpha femaleness, I needed to get out there and learn how to keep my men in line.
00:42:43What better guinea pig than Mr. Testosterone himself?
00:42:49Peyton.
00:42:49Uh, Delaney.
00:43:03So, what's the oldest woman you've ever been with?
00:43:18Actually, it was my last girlfriend.
00:43:20We were together for about six months and she was 43.
00:43:23So, what makes us so special?
00:43:27I don't know.
00:43:28A lot of things.
00:43:29Like, uh, you're not going to call drunk stranded at some bar looking for a ride.
00:43:35And, um, you don't try to play dumb to get attention.
00:43:42Okay, at least most of you don't.
00:43:44How's the sex?
00:43:46They enjoy it a lot more, which makes it more enjoyable for the guy.
00:43:49I find that older women tend to be more in touch with their bodies.
00:44:03I don't disagree.
00:44:07Just better not try to kiss me tonight without asking my permission.
00:44:12I might have to slap you.
00:44:15Well, you can slap me all you want, because I like when it gets a little rough.
00:44:18Oh, you have no idea what rough is, little boy.
00:44:22I had no clue what I even meant by that, but apparently it did the trick.
00:44:31The Duke wanted Peyton to be my service male, a plaything I was to use for sex and nothing else.
00:44:37But he was charming and funny.
00:44:40I found I was enjoying myself more than I anticipated.
00:44:44That is, until an unpleasant surprise walked in.
00:44:48Dilly.
00:44:50Robert.
00:44:52What would the Duke say about this?
00:44:55I'm guessing he'd tell me to swallow first.
00:44:57Come on, you know what I mean.
00:44:59And then just keep my mouth shut.
00:45:02I'm Robert, and you are?
00:45:03Peyton.
00:45:04Nice to meet you, man.
00:45:05Yeah, you too, kiddo.
00:45:06Can I help you with something?
00:45:11We were just having dinner.
00:45:15I'll call you later.
00:45:18Apparently we have a lot to discuss.
00:45:26So who was that guy?
00:45:27He's kind of a dick.
00:45:31It's just my husband.
00:45:33Husband, I thought you were divorced.
00:45:39Yeah, well, we're still ironing out the paperwork.
00:45:45I don't want you parading your boy toys in front of my children.
00:45:48Is that the example you want to set for him?
00:45:51I'm not parading anyone.
00:45:52Peyton will never meet the kids.
00:45:54What then?
00:45:54You're just sleeping with him?
00:45:56I'm not going to answer that, Robert.
00:45:59So why leave and you turn into some sort of nasty slut?
00:46:03No.
00:46:06And I left you.
00:46:09And who I choose to sleep with has no bearing whatsoever on my ability to be a good mother.
00:46:14Don't think this won't come out in the custody hearing.
00:46:16Do you want full custody of the kids?
00:46:19Do you?
00:46:20Do you really want to spend all weekend shuffling them between ballet lessons and soccer games,
00:46:25cooking dinner for them every night,
00:46:26and getting up an hour early every morning to make sure they're ready to go to school?
00:46:29Look, I know you're upset with me,
00:46:33and I know you don't really want to see me happy with someone else,
00:46:35but we have got to do what's best for our kids.
00:46:38I'm proud of you for asserting your dominant side.
00:46:52None of it was good.
00:46:53I felt like I was being a total bitch to Peyton,
00:46:55and once Robert came in, I was consumed with guilt.
00:46:59I just figured he thought I should be home with the kids instead of leaving them with a babysitter.
00:47:03If you two were still together, and you had to go to some business dinner for Robert,
00:47:08you'd get a babysitter, wouldn't you?
00:47:09Well, yes, of course, but that's not the same.
00:47:14You're not very good at feeling your power yet.
00:47:17Being powerful and in control does not make you a bitch.
00:47:22And getting a babysitter so that you can go out on a date
00:47:24and fulfill your sexual and emotional needs does not make you irresponsible.
00:47:30I know, it's...
00:47:31Stop whining.
00:47:33Get down on your knees and bow your head.
00:47:35And beg for my forgiveness.
00:47:41Okay.
00:48:01Sir, will you please forgive me?
00:48:06For what?
00:48:11For what, Delaine?
00:48:14For giving control of my emotions to Robert when you're the only dom I've chosen to submit to.
00:48:20Very good.
00:48:21Now, assure me that it won't happen again.
00:48:25It won't happen again, sir.
00:48:28Excellent.
00:48:29For your next task, I want you to find a sex club, and I want you to go to it.
00:48:34See for yourself what it looks like when women are comfortable with their power.
00:48:38I'll expect a phone call when you get home.
00:48:41Good night, Delaine.
00:48:42Wait, wait, wait.
00:48:43Can I just ask you one, um, question?
00:48:46Yes.
00:48:48What is...
00:48:49What is your name?
00:48:50Your real name?
00:48:53Shane.
00:48:55Shane.
00:48:58Shane, can I ask you one more thing?
00:49:00No.
00:49:00No.
00:49:00I couldn't disobey Shane, and I couldn't go to a sex club alone.
00:49:19I invited Peyton.
00:49:21And for those of you who have never been to one, let me just say, it's probably the craziest thing I've ever seen.
00:49:30Thanks.
00:49:30Is this your first time here?
00:49:43Yeah.
00:49:43I'll show you around.
00:49:47So we have a full bar with a limited menu.
00:49:50Our DJ plays all night.
00:49:52Everything here is consensual, of course.
00:50:04And we have condoms free and available throughout the club.
00:50:07And you can have sex anywhere you want to.
00:50:19If you have any questions, just ask me.
00:50:27I was just a girl when you came into my world
00:50:34But I feel more like a woman now
00:50:38You've grown up too, and that's why I'm down with you
00:50:44When it comes to loving me, only you know how
00:50:50Baby, baby, I like it, like, hey
00:50:53It's just a love, it's where it's at
00:50:55Ooh, baby, I like it, like, hey
00:50:58I like the way you hold me, I like the way you kiss
00:51:03A girl like me can't get into this
00:51:05I like it in the morning, like it at the desk
00:51:08I like it when I'm holding hands, like it in the morning
00:51:10Although I'd been having more fun with Peyton than I'd had in years
00:51:15I found that on most nights my thoughts drifted to someone else
00:51:19Shane
00:51:21Why can't I just see a picture?
00:51:27Just one picture of your face
00:51:30Why do you need to see a picture of me?
00:51:33To know if you're attracted?
00:51:36You already are
00:51:37Maybe
00:51:42I'm going to have the roasted chicken
00:51:55And I'm going to have the sirloin, please
00:51:58Medium
00:51:58Thanks
00:51:59What are you smiling about?
00:52:06I got you a little something
00:52:08Oh
00:52:12What's this for?
00:52:15You don't know?
00:52:19Come on
00:52:19Really?
00:52:22I know
00:52:23Today is the three month anniversary of our very first date
00:52:27It's been three months?
00:52:31Mm-hmm
00:52:32Really?
00:52:33Mm-hmm
00:52:33Is that gift-worthy?
00:52:36Does it matter?
00:52:37I think you've earned it
00:52:38Peyton
00:52:40My goodness, these are gorgeous
00:52:43They remind me of you
00:52:44Dainty
00:52:46Beautiful
00:52:48And yet
00:52:50Strong enough to slice through glass
00:52:52Thank you
00:53:00You're welcome
00:53:01So
00:53:04You know what I was thinking?
00:53:08We should all go up to the lake this weekend
00:53:10Oh, I can't
00:53:12I have the kids this weekend
00:53:13Robert's out of town on business
00:53:15I know
00:53:15When I said all
00:53:17I meant the kids
00:53:18Oh
00:53:20Um
00:53:22I thought you just met your friends
00:53:23No, you know
00:53:26I was thinking I would
00:53:27Throw the frizzy with Tyler
00:53:28And
00:53:29Okay, I honestly have no idea
00:53:32What I would do with your youngest
00:53:33I
00:53:34I'm sure I could think of something fun
00:53:36Right?
00:53:43You don't want me to meet your kids
00:53:45Do you?
00:53:47It has nothing to do with you
00:53:48Honestly, I think you would make an incredible role model
00:53:51And my kids would love you
00:53:52Is it Robert?
00:53:55Because if he has any issues with me
00:53:56I'm sure him and I could talk it out
00:53:57No, it's not
00:53:57It's not
00:53:58That either
00:54:00I just don't know exactly where
00:54:03This is going
00:54:05Yet
00:54:06Or
00:54:09At all
00:54:10I don't understand
00:54:13Okay, look
00:54:15I
00:54:15I thought things were going well with us
00:54:18They are
00:54:18So
00:54:21What's the problem?
00:54:22You're 24
00:54:29Yeah
00:54:31I've been 24 since you met me
00:54:34You're right, I know
00:54:41Can we just put this conversation on hold?
00:54:47My divorce isn't even finalized until next week
00:54:49Yeah
00:54:49Sure
00:54:51It's the rush, right?
00:54:57Yeah
00:54:57Oh
00:55:00Thank you
00:55:02Thank you
00:55:03I knew I'd hurt Peyton
00:55:13He saw a future with me
00:55:15And I'd known from the start
00:55:17That there wouldn't be one with him
00:55:18This was the first time it hit me
00:55:20That this newly empowered Delane
00:55:22Also needed to take some responsibility
00:55:24When I got home
00:55:29I logged on to see if there was an email from the Duke
00:55:31There was
00:55:33And it included something I wasn't expecting
00:55:35That's really cute
00:55:52So has he run out of cigars yet?
00:55:55Yeah, I think he's finally done
00:55:56Oh, thank God
00:55:57I don't understand people celebrating the birth of a baby
00:56:00By giving other people cancer
00:56:02Oh, stop it
00:56:03Eric's a really good guy
00:56:04I know
00:56:05I'm so lucky
00:56:07Yes
00:56:08You really are
00:56:10So what's next?
00:56:14Are you going back on the dating site?
00:56:16No
00:56:17Mm-mm
00:56:18I think
00:56:20I might go to Seattle
00:56:22Seattle?
00:56:24Why would you want to go to
00:56:26Oh, my God
00:56:28The Duke
00:56:30Tell me that's not why you're going
00:56:33Why not?
00:56:34Because he's a dom
00:56:36It's not as creepy as you're making it sound
00:56:39Okay, then why?
00:56:42What, would you actually consider being in a long-distance relationship?
00:56:47Maybe
00:56:48He's just
00:56:50I've got him in my head
00:56:51And
00:56:51I can't get him out
00:56:54So I've got to go figure this thing out
00:56:59Before I can move on with anybody else
00:57:00Listen to you
00:57:02You've come a long way
00:57:04What does that mean?
00:57:07It was a lot more decisive
00:57:08Than the Delane who took her husband back
00:57:11After he cheated
00:57:12Yeah, well
00:57:14I let Robert get away with way too much
00:57:18And I wonder if I had stood up for myself more
00:57:22If he would have respected me
00:57:23Our marriage could have ended up differently
00:57:26Yeah
00:57:27You would have divorced him in the first year
00:57:30I don't know
00:57:32Come on, Dee
00:57:33Robert didn't respect you
00:57:36Because Robert isn't a respectful person
00:57:39Even Eric said that
00:57:41When they first met
00:57:42That information might have been helpful years ago
00:57:45You wouldn't have listened
00:57:47So
00:57:50When are you going to Seattle?
00:57:54Next month
00:57:54Robert's going to take the kids to his parents' house for Thanksgiving
00:57:58We've got a little time
00:58:01I know
00:58:03The awakening of my sexual self
00:58:08Had stirred other things awake too
00:58:10I loved my children more than life itself
00:58:13And I loved being a mother
00:58:15But I was beginning to feel like it wasn't enough anymore
00:58:18I watched as women, single moms like me
00:58:21Dropped their children off
00:58:23And then headed to their jobs as bankers
00:58:25Doctors, CEOs
00:58:26Can I go play for a bit?
00:58:44Just a second, honey
00:58:45Yeah
00:58:45Hello, Graham
00:58:56Hi
00:58:59How are you?
00:59:03I'm well
00:59:04How are you?
00:59:06I'm not so good, actually
00:59:07Yeah, I went from having a three-year great list
00:59:11To just a few appointments a day
00:59:13They opened this
00:59:15This new state-of-the-art holistic health center
00:59:18Just a few blocks from the office
00:59:19So
00:59:20That has a lot to do with it
00:59:22Yeah
00:59:22Um, how's your daughter?
00:59:26You had a baby girl, right?
00:59:28Yeah, she's
00:59:29Do you want to sit down?
00:59:31No, no, no
00:59:32It's
00:59:32It's okay
00:59:33She's
00:59:35She's great
00:59:37You know
00:59:37She's
00:59:38Getting bigger
00:59:40I see her about once a week
00:59:43It's a shame, you know
00:59:45They grow up so fast
00:59:46You look really good
00:59:51Thanks
00:59:54Amanda, sweetheart, it's time to go
00:59:57Good girl
01:00:00Great seeing you
01:00:04Was there satisfaction knowing that Graham's doing poorly?
01:00:14I would think so, but honestly
01:00:15No
01:00:17Not after the initial shock of seeing him
01:00:19I think that's progress for you
01:00:22You still want me to come for Thanksgiving?
01:00:25Of course
01:00:25Why would I change my mind?
01:00:27Because I was thinking
01:00:28If I still come
01:00:30I could
01:00:31Ask some business advice
01:00:33Since you've
01:00:35Bought and sold and developed so many companies
01:00:37Are you buying a business to life?
01:00:40No
01:00:41No
01:00:41But I'm thinking of creating a company
01:00:43Online, mostly
01:00:45What kind?
01:00:47Well, before I quit work to have kids
01:00:49I was an interior decorator
01:00:51So I was thinking of creating
01:00:53A business
01:00:55Where rich people hire me to come into their home
01:00:58And decorate for a holiday or party or whatever
01:01:02And then once the event's over
01:01:03I would
01:01:03Go back in and take it all away
01:01:05Does this sound like a stupid idea?
01:01:09No, not at all
01:01:10I think you can do anything you set your mind to
01:01:13There's a niche for that
01:01:15Because I think I'd be really good at it
01:01:19So do I
01:01:20So who do you know in Seattle?
01:01:24You don't have any friends there
01:01:24He's a new friend
01:01:26And the only reason I'm even telling you this
01:01:28Is to let you know I'll be out of town
01:01:30In case there's an emergency with the kids
01:01:31Fine
01:01:34Do your thing
01:01:35Whatever that is
01:01:36I will
01:01:37Hello ladies and gentlemen
01:01:52We will be landing in Seattle shortly
01:01:53Thanks for flying with us
01:01:54And have a great day
01:01:55Shane had planned on picking me up
01:01:57From the airport himself
01:01:58But he ended up having to take a meeting
01:02:00He texted me about an hour
01:02:02Before I got on the flight
01:02:03And told me
01:02:04He'd send a car to pick me up
01:02:05And take me to his lake house
01:02:07He gave me the code to get in
01:02:10But no apology
01:02:12That he wasn't picking me up in person
01:02:30Hello
01:02:42Delaine, you making in okay?
01:02:45Yeah
01:02:45I just got here
01:02:47This place is beautiful
01:02:50Change of plans
01:02:51I was going to take you on a cruise
01:02:53But my boat and my chef can't make it
01:02:55We're going out to dinner instead
01:02:56I had my assistant buy you a dress
01:02:59In case you didn't bring one
01:03:00Oh
01:03:01Okay
01:03:03I'm on my way to my meeting now
01:03:06Help yourself
01:03:06Anything in the fridge
01:03:07I'll see you in a couple hours
01:03:08Hi
01:03:29Hi
01:03:30I'm glad you're here
01:03:36Me too
01:03:38Come on, follow me
01:03:48This is where you'll stay
01:03:56You may come up to the main house
01:03:58This is when I instruct you to do so
01:03:59Try this on
01:04:17Where are you going
01:04:23I thought you said you wanted me to try this on
01:04:27Try it on right here
01:04:29In front of me
01:04:30Where are you going
01:04:36there
01:04:37I know
01:04:38I don't know
01:04:39What because you have a choice
01:04:43I love you
01:04:44I know
01:04:44I know
01:04:44Joe
01:04:45I have a choice
01:04:46You have a choice
01:04:47It's better
01:04:48They're゠ノ
01:04:48I'm sure
01:04:49I know
01:04:50The only thing you will do
01:04:51there's food
01:04:51Home
01:04:52You have done
01:04:53It's again
01:04:54You have before
01:04:54You have to pay for me
01:05:25Don't look at yourself.
01:05:29Yeah, look at me.
01:05:31It doesn't matter what you think you look like.
01:05:33It only matters what I think.
01:05:40Now take off your panties.
01:05:55You will not wear panties in my presence.
01:06:06You'll get these back when you leave.
01:06:09Do you understand?
01:06:10Yes, sir.
01:06:21Shane didn't ask or tell me to do anything sexual at the restaurant.
01:06:25It was a normal dinner, much like a first date.
01:06:28We talked about a million different subjects, including domination and submission.
01:06:34So in a dom-sub relationship, do people ever take turns?
01:06:38Like one night they would be the dominant figure and the next night they would be the sub?
01:06:43Of course.
01:06:43The person that does that is called a switch.
01:06:46Do you ever do that?
01:06:48No.
01:06:50I explain that in my profile.
01:06:51I'm always dominant.
01:06:53And I like subs who are alpha females.
01:06:56Some of mine were very successful.
01:06:58And wealthy.
01:07:00Heads of major corporations, that type of thing.
01:07:02Why would a woman like that ever want to be submissive?
01:07:07Why does anyone want to be submissive?
01:07:10There's lots of reasons.
01:07:11Like what?
01:07:15It makes them feel empowered to trust another person to that degree.
01:07:20For people in positions with an inordinate amount of power and control,
01:07:23feeling quite helpless and at someone else's whim,
01:07:27it can be a nice escape from having to make all the decisions.
01:07:29What about someone that's always dominant?
01:07:35Does that mean that they're not in control in their regular lives?
01:07:39Some might feel that way.
01:07:40You?
01:07:42No.
01:07:44So what is it that you get out of this?
01:07:48Some of my reasons are selfish.
01:07:52I like to know exactly when I'm going to be having sex
01:07:56and the type of sex that I can expect
01:07:59since all of that is discussed before she becomes my sub.
01:08:06I got tired of having my hand slapped away by women
01:08:10who are reluctant to try new things.
01:08:15Okay.
01:08:16But it's also something that I can do for women as a feminist.
01:08:24How can you consider yourself a feminist
01:08:26yet want women to be submissive to you?
01:08:30Women have the choice to be whatever they want.
01:08:34Unfortunately, our society judges submissive women.
01:08:37They say, poor thing, look at what our patriarchal society has done to her.
01:08:44Or they get criticism from feminists
01:08:46who see them as impeding on their fight for equality.
01:08:49They're both wrong.
01:08:52A true feminist believes that a woman has a choice
01:08:55to be whatever she wants without being judged.
01:08:57It doesn't matter if she chooses to be a sub or a dom or a switch
01:09:03or if she wants to be in a vanilla relationship her entire life.
01:09:06It's her choice.
01:09:08And for those who want a dom, I offer that.
01:09:12And I never judge them.
01:09:16I'm better at that, you know.
01:09:19You're getting better, yes.
01:09:21What about Robert?
01:09:23Did Robert try to make you feel guilty when you came out here?
01:09:25Did it work?
01:09:26How do you know he tried?
01:09:28Making you feel guilty and have you second-guess your decisions
01:09:31is one of the ways that a beta man controls a woman.
01:09:35When you're truly confident in your own decisions,
01:09:37nothing he can say will make you feel guilty.
01:09:41I didn't actually feel bad.
01:09:44I'm not letting anyone control me anymore.
01:09:47Well, there's nothing wrong with being controlled,
01:09:50as long as it's consensual.
01:09:52Robert controls you for his own benefit.
01:09:55I control you because you like it.
01:10:01I understand.
01:10:02I don't know.
01:10:05I don't know.
01:10:08What would you like me to do for you, sir?
01:10:38I'd like you to go sit in that chair, be quiet, and I will let you know when I want you.
01:10:59Delaine, thank me for making you wait.
01:11:07Thank you for making me wait, sir.
01:11:14At first, I was angry with the Duke for rebuffing me.
01:11:17I felt sort of rejected.
01:11:20By the time an hour had passed, I was so worked up I could barely stand it.
01:11:27I wanted him more than I have ever wanted anyone before.
01:11:34From this point forward, until you leave...
01:11:45You will ask permission for everything that you do.
01:11:49Before you eat, before you sleep, before you get dressed.
01:11:54You are my sub, and as such, you will only do what I allow you to do.
01:12:01Do you understand?
01:12:03Yes, sir.
01:12:04To ask my permission, you will bow your head and say, with the Duke's permission, any questions?
01:12:18Yes.
01:12:19Yes.
01:12:20What happens if I disobey you?
01:12:25Well, then I will take you over my knee and spank you.
01:12:38And then, with you wearing this, I will take my disobedient pet for a walk through the neighborhood so that everyone can see that you were a bad sub.
01:13:03Are you going to disobey me, Delaine?
01:13:08No, sir.
01:13:13Good.
01:13:18You may ask for permission to go into the master bedroom.
01:13:23With the Duke's permission, may I go into the master bedroom, sir?
01:13:30You may.
01:13:37The entire trip wasn't just about sex.
01:13:53Chan?
01:13:54Do you have a turkey baster?
01:13:55Yes.
01:13:56Where is it?
01:13:57Probably in the bedroom.
01:13:58Well, okay.
01:13:59A lot of it was.
01:14:00But some of it was also just us talking about relationships, and life, and my future.
01:14:14You also need to file a federal tax ID number.
01:14:19So how do I know if I should be a sole proprietorship or an LLC?
01:14:23Okay, so there are two important factors in making that decision.
01:14:26First, how is the business taxed, and what is your level of personal liability?
01:14:31Hmm.
01:14:32But to be honest, it was mostly about sex.
01:14:56My long weekend with the Duke was on the surface about sexual exploration.
01:15:01But like the water, there was so much more underneath.
01:15:05True submission is a gift.
01:15:08It can only happen when a person chooses to submit.
01:15:11It's never about the Dom taking control.
01:15:14It's about the Sub giving it.
01:15:17Both parties must get something out of it.
01:15:20For 37 years, I'd let other people, especially men, control me for their own benefit.
01:15:27The Duke taught me how to change that, and that's why I will always be grateful to him.
01:15:32You ready?
01:15:33How deep is it out there?
01:15:36About 40 feet.
01:15:39So I was thinking, when I get home, I'm ready for a relationship.
01:15:45On my own.
01:15:47Just the fact that you said that shows me that there's no reason for us to continue to correspond.
01:15:52You had the experience you needed, and that's all it was ever meant to be.
01:15:57You've changed me.
01:16:04I am a different person than I was before we met.
01:16:08I know.
01:16:09We should get going.
01:16:22We don't want to miss your flight.
01:16:24As I drove home from the airport, I felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
01:16:38More than anything, I was just looking forward to seeing my kids.
01:16:45As December rolled around, I managed to get my website up for my holiday decorating business.
01:16:51To my surprise, I got several clients in the first few weeks.
01:16:56One stuck out in particular.
01:16:58He was a widower in his late 60s.
01:17:01He hadn't decorated for Christmas since his wife had passed five years earlier.
01:17:05But since his grandchildren were coming, he wanted to make it festive for them.
01:17:09The man told me he'd never taken much time with his grandkids, and he wanted to change that.
01:17:16And so I decided to do something I never imagined I would do.
01:17:20I called Robert.
01:17:22Hello?
01:17:23Hey.
01:17:24It's me.
01:17:25The kids were going to decorate the Christmas tree, and I thought you might like to help.
01:17:35It's not like I never thought about it.
01:17:50I know there were times that I didn't...
01:17:55I didn't treat you the way that I should have.
01:18:00I don't know what I really could have done differently.
01:18:04Except for the affair, of course.
01:18:07I guess I deserved that, right?
01:18:10One good turn deserves another.
01:18:12I don't think we knew how to deal with our issues.
01:18:17We both made some really bad decisions.
01:18:22Yeah, um...
01:18:25I know that the thing with Natasha really hurt you.
01:18:30But I just...
01:18:33I want you to know that when I said it would never happen again, I meant it.
01:18:38The night you called me and I came home.
01:18:41The whole drive home, I just...
01:18:44I couldn't stop thinking about how much that must have hurt you.
01:18:51It did.
01:18:54By the time that I really started to try, it was too late for you.
01:19:02You didn't need the guy who wanted to make it up to you.
01:19:07You needed the guy who never did it in the first place.
01:19:10I do think our marriage stopped working way before Natasha and Graham, though.
01:19:23I want you to be happy.
01:19:27I know.
01:19:31I'm...
01:19:33I'm trying.
01:19:36Good.
01:19:40How did...
01:19:42things go with your parents?
01:19:46Well, I'm...
01:19:48still not that good with the kids yet.
01:19:50My mother even noticed that.
01:19:52Things will be going great, and...
01:19:56then I'll say something that upsets one.
01:19:59As I listened to Robert talk about how hard it was to be a parent,
01:20:02I didn't feel sorry for him.
01:20:04This was part of his journey to become a better father.
01:20:07I had inhibited his growth in the same way he had inhibited mine in becoming a woman who could stand up for herself.
01:20:14But I wanted to guide him. Shane had been my guide.
01:20:17He helped me reach a place where I could actually help Robert become the man I always wanted him to be.
01:20:22Not for me, but for the children.
01:20:30It was the first time I felt happy being alone.
01:20:33Ever.
01:20:35Maybe I wouldn't find someone, who knows, but that no longer seemed scary.
01:20:39I knew I could be happy with or without a relationship.
01:20:43I didn't need to be someone's wife or girlfriend.
01:20:46I could just be...
01:20:48Delaine.
01:20:49Delaine.
01:20:53And things got better.
01:20:55Robert and I were able to put the past behind us and become effective co-parents.
01:21:04What's this?
01:21:05It's for you, Mom.
01:21:06From Dad.
01:21:07Wow.
01:21:09I helped pick it up.
01:21:12It's for your new business.
01:21:14It was my idea.
01:21:15No, it wasn't, Amanda.
01:21:16Yes, it was.
01:21:17I can tell you both collaborated on this.
01:21:20And it's wonderful.
01:21:21Are you my new marketing executive?
01:21:22Yes.
01:21:23How about you, kiddo?
01:21:27Mary?
01:21:29It was nice to feel supported in my business endeavor.
01:21:31But surprisingly, I didn't need it.
01:21:33I knew I could make it a success, even with no support at all.
01:21:35As my little business continued to pick up, I settled back into my role as Delaine, the mom.
01:21:42Between the two, I didn't have much time to date.
01:21:44But I didn't feel like I was missing out, either.
01:21:46Oh, hey, let me give you a hand with that.
01:21:47Oh, um, thanks.
01:21:48Sure, how many do you need?
01:21:49All of them?
01:21:50All of them?
01:21:51What, one for every outfit?
01:21:52No, it's my daughter's birthday.
01:21:53I told her she could invite all the girls from her class at school.
01:21:55I don't know exactly what I was thinking.
01:21:56It's that age-old question, where are...
01:22:20The keys.
01:22:21Where are the keys?
01:22:22Right at the bottom.
01:22:23Always.
01:22:24at the bottom always I could never find my keys so I would love to know how the
01:22:30party goes oh really hey I'm invested now without me they'd just be a bunch of
01:22:35sad tiara-less princesses
01:22:39so I'm Aiden by the way uh my cell's on there Delaine hi Delaine thanks for your help
01:22:55and for being so tall sure I guess I will talk to you later
01:23:09I invited Robert to bring his new girlfriend to Amanda's birthday party he'd asked my advice
01:23:24on how he could introduce them and I figured the party atmosphere would make everyone feel more at
01:23:28these so I don't know if you heard but you have to have one of these before you can pass the evil
01:23:41dragon thank you you have to kiss it or you're not a real princess speaking of evil dragons my brother
01:23:54used to do the same thing to me can you believe how young they start flirting oh look at you
01:24:04there's my girl mommy I'm tired oh are you you ready to go with daddy and Pam to daddy's house
01:24:12hey did you have a good birthday that was the best birthday ever it was well that makes mommy happy
01:24:20why don't you take Pam and go find Tyler thank you thank you it was nice to see you nice to meet you
01:24:31we can take care of all this junk later why don't you just take the kids and get going
01:24:36okay thank you for making this easier for Pam and for me
01:24:44yeah of course
01:24:48I knew in that moment I'd finally become the person I wanted to be
01:24:58I had taken control of my life in every aspect
01:25:01the truth is I liked Pam and I actually wanted Robert to be happy
01:25:05I was glad he found someone and I'm glad that he's with Pam instead of me
01:25:11hey Aiden hi perfect timing everyone just left so how did the party go oh it was absolutely
01:25:29perfect it might seem like this is the end of my story but it's not it's just the beginning
01:25:47but it's not it's just the end of my story but it's just the end of my story but it's just the end of my story
01:25:51let it go
01:25:54don't hide away
01:25:56breathe in
01:26:00and live for today
01:26:03wherever it leads
01:26:07will be the last
01:26:08to know
01:26:10follow the news
01:26:13and let the embers grow
01:26:16Like we're skipping some
01:26:18Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:26:24Oh, oh, oh
01:26:30Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:26:32Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:26:46Oh, oh, oh
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