- 9 months ago
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00:00Apologies in advance, this is the Chris Gethard Show.
00:03One, two, three, four.
00:12Come take a ride.
00:13Come take a ride.
00:15It's the weirdest day I know.
00:17It's Wednesday night.
00:18It's Wednesday night.
00:20Oh, you didn't go.
00:22The Chris Gethard Show.
00:24Let's ruin this show.
00:27Let's ruin this show.
00:28Let's ruin this show.
00:32Boom.
00:41You suck.
00:44You suck.
00:49All right.
00:50A rowdy crowd tonight.
00:52Welcome, everybody, to the Chris Gethard Show, our first show of 2012.
00:56We're very happy to be back live.
00:57We're going to say hi to everybody watching on their televisions on MNN, everybody watching
01:01live at thechrisgethershow.com.
01:03Hello.
01:03I think we probably have a whole bunch of new viewers tonight.
01:05We want to welcome you to the show.
01:07Give us a call.
01:08212-757-1393.
01:12Thank all of you guys for coming out in the studio audience.
01:14Some of you may have heard.
01:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, why don't you give us a call?
01:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
01:23yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:25All right.
01:26And the theme of tonight's show is ruin this show.
01:29We want you guys to call up.
01:30Callers, you can do whatever you want to try to ruin things on the phone lines.
01:33Everybody in here has been briefed and knows that they are welcome to come up during the
01:37show and try to ruin it for us.
01:39So that's that.
01:40Before we even get into that, let me introduce everyone.
01:42I want to thank the LLC with special guest singer, Bethany.
01:48Bethany, you sound great.
01:49Come on and ruin this.
01:52Come on and ruin this.
01:54We all know the studio rules.
01:57Let's keep it genital free.
01:59Let's keep it genital free.
02:01Let's keep it genital free.
02:03And then who do we have?
02:04We have old friends.
02:05We've got Murph the Reservoir Dog returning.
02:07Mr. Don Finelli with his hat and his guitar.
02:10Of course, random Andrew up in the back there.
02:12The one and only Shannon O'Neill currently using an iPad on live public access television.
02:19Connor Ratliff.
02:20Just so no one gets out of line, presidential candidate Connor Ratliff has provided us with
02:23his secret service agent.
02:25So no one gets you out of line.
02:28We have joining our show for the first time.
02:31You know him from the Jeff Rubin.
02:32Jeff Rubin Show.
02:33You know him from College Huber.
02:34My friend and yours, Mr. Jeff Rubin.
02:35Welcome to the show.
02:36Thank you for being here.
02:38Very happy to have you here.
02:39How are you feeling tonight?
02:41I'm feeling great.
02:41I'm very excited to see what happens.
02:43Yes, this one's going to be an overwhelming one.
02:46Last but...
02:47Hold on one second.
02:50Because first I have to introduce the one, the only, the man from the sea.
02:53You saw him make his national television debut.
02:57The human fish.
02:58The human fish.
03:00Human fish.
03:02Human fish.
03:03Human fish.
03:04Patsy pinkies.
03:05Human fish.
03:07Human fish.
03:08Human fish.
03:10So mysterious.
03:12Human fish.
03:14So human fish, what's on your mind right now?
03:21Fish, where are you going?
03:23Fish.
03:24Fish, you're ruining the show by leaving me.
03:26That really ruins the show.
03:29That really ruins the show.
03:31Fish, that starts it on a sad note.
03:34We got two chairs.
03:35No, no, no, no, already.
03:37You can't say no.
03:38So I want to open this up for everybody on our panel.
03:43What are your goals for 2012?
03:45That's what we'll be talking about for the whole hour.
03:47What are your goals for 2012?
03:49So Jeff, why don't you let us know?
03:51We have a caller who's there.
03:54Jeff, caller, we hear you on the line.
03:56Welcome to the show.
03:58Hey.
03:59What's your name?
04:00My name is Brooke.
04:02Brooke?
04:04So what did you want to talk about tonight?
04:05It's a girl's name, Brooke.
04:06I don't want to talk to Chris.
04:08I want to talk to Jeff Rubin.
04:09What's up, Brooke?
04:10Awesome.
04:11How's it going?
04:13Jeff.
04:13Yeah, what's up?
04:14Jeff, I want you to tell Chris something for me.
04:19I'm going to hear your request.
04:20I can't promise anything.
04:21Jeff, I want you to tell Chris that the night's ruined because a mutual friend of ours has died.
04:29Someone I know is dead?
04:31I don't know if I can tell Chris that, man.
04:33I heard it, bro.
04:35Who died?
04:36Jeff, Jeff, tell Chris that Corey Moot, also known as Flatius Maximus from Guar, has passed away.
04:44Yeah, he passed away a couple weeks ago.
04:48That's really sad, man.
04:51That's sad stuff.
04:52I'm excited that the first thing, well, not the first thing, maybe it's the third or fourth
04:56thing, that someone tried to ruin the show's psychological.
05:00I thought there'd just be a wall of noise.
05:02This is clearly someone who watches the show and knows what gets to me.
05:05What the hell is going on?
05:08Do you, dead metal guitarists get to you a lot?
05:10No, no, no.
05:11I mean like someone, the emotional attack is fine.
05:13Oh, vagina.
05:16Oh, vagina.
05:17Anything else, Brooke?
05:19I think someone else is on the air.
05:21Who is running this show?
05:22What is going on?
05:23Usually I run the show, but all authorities have been stripped from me.
05:26Hello?
05:27Ashley, what are you using for FaceTime?
05:28Hello?
05:29Hello?
05:33Shannon O'Neill is making her own show.
05:35Yeah, we hear you.
05:35It's your New Year's resolution.
05:36Yeah, caller, what's up?
05:37What do you want to talk about?
05:39I want to talk about, I want to talk about you.
05:44Okay, who is this?
05:46Yeah, is this Jackie?
05:48This is Jackie right now.
05:50So, Jackie, you're welcome.
05:53Now, Jackie, a lot of times you're in our studio audience, but when you're not,
05:56you like to call the show drunk.
05:57Is that the case tonight?
05:59Guess what's jamming right now?
06:01What's jamming right now?
06:03I'm drunk right now.
06:05What?
06:05I'm drunk.
06:06Yeah, well, no, we know that.
06:07We got that.
06:08You know that?
06:10You know that?
06:10You think you're ruining the show?
06:11No, I'm ruining the show.
06:13I'm just fucking ruining your show.
06:15I feel like if you call up drunk all the time, this is really bad.
06:20I don't know what you're saying.
06:21I can't even listen to my day.
06:23I busted up.
06:24So, Andrew, what are your plans for 2012?
06:27Um, I busted up.
06:35Random Andrew, what are you looking forward for 2012?
06:37What are you looking forward to?
06:38Uh, uh.
06:41Yo!
06:42What are you looking forward to?
06:59What's that?
06:59What's that?
07:00What's that?
07:01What's that?
07:02What's that?
07:03What's that?
07:04What's that?
07:05What's that?
07:06I love you.
07:07What's that?
07:08What's that?
07:09Hey, sexy.
07:10What's up, sexy boy?
07:12We ain't doing it right now.
07:14You don't have to be friends.
07:16The floor is yours, Vacation Jason.
07:19For those of you who don't know, my name is Vacation Jason.
07:21I'm a vacation expert.
07:24I am barefoot all the time.
07:26I want to wish Chris Genther a Happy New Year.
07:31I wanted to improve the show tonight by sharing some of my New Year's resolutions.
07:36Here we go.
07:38Go on more vacations.
07:40Take some much needed off time.
07:43Relax.
07:44Chill out some more.
07:46Hang loose.
07:47I like that you knew this show was the only way you were getting this character on the show.
07:51Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
08:21I want to invite everybody in the world to get googie.
08:24I want to define getting googie.
08:29I want to get to work on finally releasing my much-anticipated
08:32island hip-hop mixtape, Coconut Berry Lemon Tree.
08:39I want to save up enough money to produce Coconut Berry Lemon Tree.
08:43I want to commit to not blowing all of my money for Coconut Berry Lemon Tree
08:47on buying dope-ass aquariums.
08:49How long is this vacation, Jason?
08:52I can see the page. There's a lot on that page.
08:54No, no. It's only like one-third of that.
08:56It's this much more.
08:58Or is it?
09:03Yep.
09:03You've got 45 minutes left.
09:05Okay.
09:07Thanks, Drew Barry.
09:11I want to punch a shark in the face.
09:15I want to kick a bear in the butt.
09:17I want to slap a snake with a big bread.
09:34Last but not least, I want to be more like Chris Gethard.
09:37Psych, psych, psych, psych, psych, psych.
09:42Fuck the world.
09:43Now, Shannon told everyone on Twitter to tweet at me,
10:01fuck you, dick.
10:03And then she is using FaceTime to replace her face with someone else's face.
10:09That's kind of cool.
10:10This is the future, man. This is the future.
10:15Okay, so what do we have here?
10:16Someone else is taking to the mic.
10:18Welcome. Welcome to the show.
10:19I just want to take this moment to say,
10:21Black Power!
10:29Nothing.
10:29What do you want to talk about?
10:31I have a joke.
10:32What?
10:33I have a joke.
10:34There are so many men in tights in this room.
10:38There are.
10:38A lot of men in tights with the Chris Gethard show.
10:40Now, here's one thing.
10:41I knew the audience was going to try to ruin the show.
10:43I didn't know that Don, Murph, Shannon, and the Human Fish
10:46would all instantly abandon me.
10:48I feel like a square.
10:49I'm, like, still into it.
10:50Dude, I had no idea.
10:51I had no idea, so I'm still deciding.
10:53You haven't done shit to help, though, bro.
10:56I didn't even know we were supposed to ruin
10:58and know we were supposed to help.
10:59Help.
11:00Help.
11:01Don't shut up, everybody.
11:03You want fucking shut up, man!
11:08Chris, I'm not going to help.
11:12I can't.
11:12I'm not going to help at all.
11:14We're not random people claiming this chair.
11:17How you doing, man?
11:17More cowbell!
11:18Rocky.
11:19People are shouting for more cowbell.
11:21More cowbell.
11:22Come on.
11:23We want to hear from the black guy.
11:26Which blind guy?
11:27There's no black guy.
11:28Oh, that guy.
11:29The black guy.
11:30All right, so.
11:31Come on, man.
11:32Black guy.
11:32Black guy.
11:33Black guy.
11:34Black guy.
11:35Black guy.
11:36Black guy.
11:37Black guy.
11:38Black guy.
11:39Black guy.
11:39Okay.
11:40Okay.
11:41So let's then quiet down.
11:43So the audience has said that they want to hear from a black guy.
11:47I hope that's okay with you.
11:48That's fine.
11:49So what would you like to say?
11:51Why are you talking to me?
11:52Like, I'm Dominican.
11:58Racist.
11:58Racist.
11:58Racist.
12:01Racist.
12:02Racist.
12:04Do this man.
12:07Do this.
12:07Random George!
12:09Random George!
12:15Random George is on the show.
12:17Great to see you, my friend.
12:19How are you?
12:21Random George is...
12:23So, Random George,
12:25you are the black guy they were referring to.
12:31Oh, my God.
12:33Random George is translator.
12:35Welcome back to the show.
12:37I love you, of course.
12:39He's asking if the microphone is working.
12:41Everyone knows Random George speaks Greek.
12:45His translator speaks okay Greek.
12:47Johnny from our band speaks fluent Greek.
12:51Whoa, whoa, whoa!
12:53Random George is being the last!
12:55Who is this guy?
12:57It's my man!
12:59Who the fuck?
13:01Who is it?
13:03Yes!
13:05Pull it down!
13:07He's a white guy!
13:09Pull it down!
13:11Oh my God!
13:13Random George is just assaulted and then saved by a man in a mask.
13:15It's not Random George.
13:17His nose is too small.
13:19Wow.
13:21All right.
13:23And guy in the white mask is Random George.
13:252012, I got high hopes.
13:27I feel really good about this show.
13:29I feel like we've been doing some good stuff with it.
13:31I hope we can continue that in the future.
13:33You made that racist comment.
13:35I didn't mean to make a racist comment.
13:37I apologize.
13:38You took the stage.
13:39They all chanted black guy.
13:41Duh!
13:42I got you guys a pizza.
13:43We're not allowed to have food in here.
13:45I already talked to J.D. and J.D.
13:46You guys are allowed to have food.
13:48That's a great rule.
13:50We are 99% with all these food.
13:53Keep an eye on it.
13:54Keep an eye on it.
13:55Occupy the studio!
13:57Occupy the studio!
13:59Occupy the studio!
14:01Occupy the studio!
14:03Occupy the studio!
14:05Occupy the studio!
14:07Occupy the studio!
14:09Occupy the studio!
14:10Occupy the studio!
14:11Occupy the studio!
14:13Occupy the studio!
14:15Occupy the studio!
14:17Occupy the studio!
14:19Occupy Macutio
14:21Occupy Macutio
14:23Occupy Macutio
14:25Occupy a douche, yo
14:27What's the rule?
14:29Who's this for?
14:31100 bottles of beer on the wall
14:33100 bottles of beer
14:35No! No!
14:3799 bottles of beer on the wall
14:3999 bottles of beer on the wall
14:4199 bottles of beer on the wall
14:4399 bottles of beer
14:45You take one down, pass it around
14:4798 bottles of beer on the wall
14:4998 bottles of beer on the wall
14:5198 bottles of beer on the wall
14:5398 bottles of beer
14:55You take one down, pass it around
14:57900 bottles of beer on the wall
14:59So song
15:05Yo! I hit the world record
15:07for saying the word cunt
15:09is 50,000 times in a row
15:11we can do it!
15:15Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! CUT!
15:23Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
15:26If we're on Twitter, say, TweetCut.
15:31You're not even up here.
15:33If you're on Twitter, TweetCut.
15:36That's what the black guys say.
15:37TweetCut. TweetCut. TweetCut.
15:40Call me to hear this guy.
15:42Oh, God. What's that? I've never, this guy's never even been to the show.
15:46Have you ever even been to this show before?
15:48This is your first time here.
15:56Who wants this? Anybody?
16:00There's more in here if people want it.
16:02Breaking the rules!
16:03So it seems like you're the only person whose authority they respect.
16:05So how do you want to run this show right now? Do you want to take calls?
16:08If you don't mind, I would actually like to take a second to propose to my girlfriend.
16:11Whoa!
16:12Oh, really?
16:13By all means.
16:15Is she here?
16:15Is she here?
16:17Is this serious?
16:18I'm going to do it right now.
16:19Is this for real?
16:21No, it's good.
16:22This cannot be for real.
16:24Why not?
16:24You're calling your girlfriend. Do you want to get up on this mic?
16:27Is she watching?
16:29This guy's going to propose to his girlfriend live on the Chris Gethardt show.
16:32Unless this is a horrible prank to make you look like an asshole.
16:36Okay, okay.
16:38This is amazing.
16:39This guy's going to propose to his cunt.
16:40That's disrespectful.
16:44That's disrespectful.
16:45That's disrespectful.
16:45That's disrespectful.
16:47Baby.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Hey, um...
16:51I've been meaning to talk to you.
16:59I don't know how to...
17:00I don't know...
17:01You know I love you.
17:03Who are you on the phone with?
17:06Who are you on the phone with?
17:09I'm on the phone with my girlfriend.
17:10I was your girlfriend.
17:12What?
17:13Let it happen.
17:15This is a beautiful moment.
17:17It's not a beautiful moment.
17:18It's the worst choices.
17:19Don't worry about that.
17:23I'm at the Chris Gethardt show.
17:25I'm at the Chris...
17:26I'm at the Chris Gethardt show.
17:28What?
17:29Okay.
17:30Okay.
17:31No, she's actually been here before.
17:34I'm at the Chris Gethardt show.
17:35And I just wanted to take a second.
17:37I got Chris's permission.
17:40Do you have me on speaker?
17:41I do.
17:41I hope you don't mind.
17:44Okay.
17:44I just wanted to tell you I love you.
17:46And I want you to spend the rest of your life with me.
17:50Please, please marry me.
17:54Are you serious?
17:59I love you.
18:00Are you really doing this in front of everyone?
18:03I love you.
18:07I'm praying this is a...
18:08I'm sorry?
18:10I mean, is this something you need to think about?
18:19Well, I don't want to embarrass you in front of everybody.
18:22What?
18:23What do you mean you don't want to...
18:24Oh, fuck.
18:26We've been together for years.
18:29I thought this was where our relationship was headed.
18:32This is awkward even though it's clearly fake, right?
18:34I love you, Joe.
18:36I love you, Joe.
18:38Congratulations, Joe.
18:39And I used to...
18:41I'm going to call you back.
18:42I'm going to call you back.
18:43Ladies and gentlemen, that was very awkward.
18:46Very awkward.
18:47Right now, we're going to take a break from the madness because we've got some very special
18:50guests with us, some very talented young ladies who I'm psyched to welcome to our stage.
18:54Let's make some room.
18:55Let's cheer them on.
18:56Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, the Cocoon Central Dance Team.
23:01I would say this point in the show is where this idea has officially stopped being fun
23:09and become annoying.
23:10This is now just officially annoying.
23:12I cannot believe you assholes turned against me.
23:37I can't believe it.
23:38I can't believe it.
23:38Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what this video is.
23:40All I've been told is that our friend Michael Caine made it.
23:43He likes to prank call the show.
23:45He has no experience making films or videos of any sort.
23:49That's all I know about this.
23:50So let's go ahead and see whatever this is.
24:20He's got a lot of people say that she has.
24:22The only thing he's got to do is rub that lamp and I say.
24:30And I'll say, hey, Mr. Lannister, what will your pleasure be?
24:34Allow me to take your order or jot it down.
24:37You ain't never had a friend like me.
24:38life is your restaurant and i'm your maid of deeds come on whisper what it is you want
24:46you ain't never had a friend like me yes sir pride ourselves on service you're the boss
24:52the king the shah say what you wish it's yours true dish how about a little more baklava
24:58i'll try some of column a try all of column b i'm in the mood to help you dude you ain't never
25:07had a friend like me
25:08walk about a blue bow bow you know friends do this you know friends do that you know friends pull this
25:24out their little hat whoa what is it you know friends go poof oh well okay yeah you know
25:33friends go heaven whatever that'll rip and then make a sucker disappear so just sit there slack
25:39job buggy eyed i'm here to answer all your midday prayers you got me bona fide certified you got
25:45a genie for your charge to pass i got a powerful urge to help you out so what you wish i really
25:51want to know you got a list that's three miles long no doubt well all you gotta do is rub like so
25:56you ain't never had a friend never had a friend you ain't never had a friend never had a friend
26:09never had a friend like me
26:23you're not playing that video ever again that video will never be played again
26:37what we're gonna go back to the phones caller you're on the air caller we have a car on the air
26:44i'm sorry i can't um i can't talk right now can you hear me no no no i can't i can't talk right now
26:52someone else taking a phone call oh my god caller who's on the show you can talk to me what's up
26:56no i'm editing no no no it's public access but i can't talk yeah this is chris
27:00excuse me what the fuck chris get there
27:02how do you know i can barely hear you
27:05you want to talk to chris oh you want to talk to chris okay hold on one second
27:10chris your friend really wants to talk to you your friend wants to okay can you hear me
27:14who is this this is chad i'm on the phone
27:17can you give me a fucking your friend hung up yeah i can hear you chad what do you want to talk about
27:23let's talk okay i wanted to call him tonight during the show in the form of a roast
27:28and the phone was what in the form of a roast okay in the form of a roast yeah the floor is yours
27:33go for it okay uh chris have you ever heard the expression there's no use in beating a dead horse
27:38i have heard that expression yeah there's no point in running the chris gethard show
27:42chad that was a really strong start what do you have next
27:50wait hold on hold on what's your next one what's what's the title of your book called
27:57a bad idea i'm about to do is that what your mom said when she uh declined to get an abortion
28:03chad that one wasn't as good as the first one what's next i mean how'd you get on the
28:12jimmy fallin show did they mistake you for the myth busters guy
28:14like that you're getting applause for that one okay what do you have next
28:20look at that guy you call him a human fish if darwin saw that guy he would have busted a nut
28:26that's the fucking missing link are you kidding me
28:28no one like that one
28:31no one like that one
28:33chad you gotta get him back here you dropped the ball on that one
28:37don't worry about it don't worry about it uh i mean think about it look at him
28:42look what happened to his parents didn't you never teach him like personal hygiene
28:45like did he kill his mom a rug burn at birth and his dad abandoned him at a church
28:50you know what
28:52we're just an explosion in our studio
29:08look at him that's not good now human
29:10that's not good now human
29:11human is love stock
29:15human is love stock
29:19human is love stock
29:22human is love stock
29:26no
29:27eat yourself
29:29Cannibal, cannibal, cannibal, cannibal, suicidal cannibal.
29:42Human Fish, I'm glad to see you're back.
29:50We thought you were dead.
29:52Well, I'm glad you're back.
29:54Welcome back to the show.
29:55Someone on Twitter just told us that over 100 people have stopped watching the show.
30:01I need some.
30:07Okay, it does work.
30:08Good.
30:08I don't know how many of you are familiar with the caucus process, how it works.
30:13Basically, we're going to be establishing my viability as a candidate.
30:16And we're going to be doing this by designated areas of preference.
30:19All right.
30:20This area in front of the banner is where you need to stand if you prefer me as a candidate for president.
30:24So anyone who is supporting me for president can stand in this area of the room.
30:28If you are supporting another candidate, the area will be off camera, seated on the ground.
30:34That will be the area of preference for any other candidate.
30:37If you are undecided, if you are undecided, you haven't made up your mind, then please stand in this area in front of the panel.
30:44Now, for the next 30 minutes.
30:46Connor, Connor.
30:47Pockets process works.
30:48Connor, I can't give you 30 minutes.
30:50The show, I don't think there's even 30 minutes.
30:51Oh, that would ruin the show, wouldn't it?
30:53That would ruin this show.
30:54If we spent the next 30 minutes.
30:56Connor, 20 minutes.
30:58There's only 20 minutes left in the show.
31:00Oh, see, that's why we can't do the next 30 minutes.
31:02Because 10 of them would not be on the air.
31:04Thank you, Chris.
31:06For the next 20 minutes, we'll have to do this fast.
31:09You want to try and, if you're undecided, you want to try to convince your neighbors.
31:13You want to maybe investigate the people who are sitting on the ground, the people who are standing in this area, which is densely populated with supporters of mine, people who will be voting for me for president this November.
31:24And let's just get to know the issues.
31:26And then at the end of the 20-minute period, then if I have 15% of the people in this room supporting me, then I am viable as a candidate for president.
31:35At that point, the caucus process is complete.
31:38Please don't do this.
31:41Please don't do this.
31:43No one's responding to what you've asked, and people are just making balloon noises.
31:54You've asked me not to run for president, Chris.
31:56No, I want you to run for president.
31:57I don't know that you need to take up 20 minutes of this particular show.
32:01I like turtles.
32:04See, that's the caucus process.
32:07The caucus process is at work.
32:08Somebody wants to know if I'm worth three-fifths of a person.
32:11That's fucking people.
32:12Stop saying it.
32:12That's racist shit.
32:14I don't like that people saying.
32:16Sweet, you are.
32:16What?
32:18Oh.
32:20Let's go back to the phones.
32:22Call her.
32:22You're on the air.
32:23Welcome to the Gathered Show.
32:24How can we help you?
32:24Anybody want to watch a snuff film?
32:26Hello?
32:26Hello?
32:27Yeah.
32:29Come on up, gather around.
32:30I got the snuffing part queued up.
32:33Anyone wants to watch a snuff film?
32:35A channel and he'll gather around.
32:37Snuff film.
32:37Snuff film.
32:38Snuff film.
32:39Hey, how's it going?
32:40Snuff film.
32:42Jeff, I'm so sorry that this is the show we asked you to be on.
32:44I'm so glad to be here.
32:46Oh.
32:46Down, down, down.
32:47That's okay.
32:48This agent has taken down vacation.
32:49Jason?
32:50That's good.
32:51That's good.
32:54I like that.
32:54Behind your back.
32:55Hi there.
32:56I know.
32:57Behind your back.
33:00Caller, you're on the air.
33:01Welcome to the Chris Gathered Show.
33:02How can we help you?
33:04Hi.
33:04I just wanted to read something from Epicurious.com.
33:09Something from what.com?
33:11Epicurious.com.
33:12Epicurious.com.
33:13I'm not familiar.
33:14Does anyone?
33:14Cooking website.
33:15It's a website.
33:16Cooking website.
33:16Okay, yeah, go ahead and read it.
33:19Also, HiBlovBand.
33:22Okay, yeah, you can read whatever you want.
33:24All right, this is Dave BlovBand's uncle.
33:27You're Dave BlovBand's uncle?
33:29Yes.
33:29Great, welcome to the show.
33:31All right, I wanted to read the story of whole wheat.
33:38Actually, let's skip ahead to who sat on my sandwich.
33:41You have to invest in a decent, insulated lunch tote that will protect contents from heavy books, laptops, and bullies.
33:53Tuck your sandwich in a hard container to save it from rolling water bottles or apples.
33:58I would like to officially announce that I have been broken.
34:03I have been broken by this show.
34:05I don't feel good about it.
34:06Free vacation.
34:08Free vacation.
34:09Free vacation.
34:10Free vacation.
34:12Free vacation.
34:13Free vacation.
34:14Free vacation.
34:15Free vacation.
34:15Free vacation.
34:16Free vacation.
34:16Free, vacation.
34:17Free vacation.
34:19Ruin this show over, save the show.
34:21Who wins?
34:23Ruin this show.
34:25God damn it.
34:25Ruin this show.
34:27Ruin this show.
34:29Ruin this show.
34:30You had a chance.
34:32You had such a chance to turn things around, Fish.
34:36Don't listen to Fish.
34:37Holler, you're on the line.
34:40Holler, are you there?
34:42Go, yo.
34:43Go.
34:44Turn the mic up!
34:46Freestyle!
34:47Turn the mic up!
34:48Freestyle!
34:49Turn the mic up!
34:50Don't turn the mic up!
34:52Turn the mic up!
34:54Alright, we're a freestyle rap group from Detroit!
34:58We're a positive freestyle!
35:02Use the mic!
35:04Use the mic!
35:06The mic's ready?
35:08Can you hear me at home?
35:10Okay, we're a freestyle rap group from Detroit.
35:12We're here with positive!
35:14We're called the Cool Guys!
35:16I'm Ken Dollar Bill!
35:20I'm brenharshman.tumblr.com
35:24I'm Marcy B!
35:26Justin Bieber!
35:28We're the Cool Guys!
35:30We're the Cool Guys!
35:32We're the Cool Guys!
35:34We're the Cool Guys!
35:36We're the Cool Guys!
35:38We're the Cool Guys!
35:40We're the Cool Guys!
35:42I need a clear drink to anyone just when we come together.
35:44We're the Cool Guys!
35:46We're the Cool Guys!
35:48I love the Cool Guys!
35:50Clap, Chris, and sing songs, Chris.
35:53What's next?
35:54Goodbye.
35:55I love you, guys.
35:56Great job.
35:57We're the coogas.
35:58We're the coogas.
35:59We're the coogas.
36:00We're the coogas.
36:01Do it, Chris.
36:02Don't touch him.
36:04Hey, at least it was quick, Chris.
36:06What's that?
36:07Hey, at least that was quick.
36:08That was quick.
36:09Yeah.
36:09That's what she said.
36:10Yes.
36:11Hello.
36:11How are you?
36:12Good to see you again.
36:13My name is Jordan.
36:14Yes, Jordan.
36:14And I wrote you a song.
36:16I'm listening.
36:17I'm already, I'm kind of quick there.
36:20This is for you.
36:26This is just Blackbird by the Beatles.
36:30That is just Blackbird by the Beatles.
36:33We want dancers.
36:34That was by far the best comedic moment of the show so far.
36:38Thank you for doing that, Jordan.
36:40Okay, let's welcome our guests back to the stage.
36:42Before we saw their animalistic stylings, ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy to welcome back
36:46the one, the only, the Cocoon Central Dance Team.
36:48Bring the beat in.
36:59Honey, honey, honey, I can see the stars all the way in here.
37:15Can you see the glow on the window pane?
37:20I can feel the sun will never hear me.
37:26Every time you touch me, I just melt away.
37:29Now everybody asks me why I'm not that I'm from here to here.
37:35I know.
37:37I know.
37:38I know.
37:39Nothing's perfect, but it's perfect.
37:41I have to fight through my tears.
37:45And finally you put me first.
37:48Baby, it's you.
37:50You're the only one I need.
37:52You're the only one I need.
37:54Come on, baby.
37:55It's you.
37:56You're the one that keeps you up.
37:58You're the one I can always call.
38:00You don't need to make everything stop.
38:01Finally you put my love on top now.
38:02Ooh.
38:03Come on, baby.
38:04You put my love on top now.
38:05Ooh.
38:06Come on, baby.
38:07You put my love on top now.
38:08Ooh.
38:09Come on, baby.
38:10You put my love on top now.
38:11Ooh.
38:12Come on, baby.
38:13You put my love on top now.
38:14Ooh.
38:15Come on, baby.
38:16You put my love on top now.
38:17Ooh.
38:18Come on, baby.
38:19You put my love on top now.
38:20Ooh.
38:21Come on, baby.
38:22You put my love on top now.
38:23Ooh.
38:24Come on, baby.
38:25You put my love on top now.
38:26Top now.
38:27Top now.
38:28Top now.
38:29Come on, baby.
38:30Baby.
38:31I can hear the wind whipping past my face as we dance the night.
38:39Good night away, and boil your lips to taste like a night of champagne, as I kiss you again, and again, and again, and again.
38:51Now everybody asks me why I'm smiling, I'm gonna be too scared, but I know.
38:59So I'm gonna take a little while.
39:01Nothing's perfect, but it's worth it after fighting through my tears.
39:08Finally, you put me first.
39:10Baby, it's you.
39:12You're the one I love.
39:15You're the only one I see.
39:20Come on, baby, it's you.
39:22You're the one that gives your all.
39:25You're the one I can always call.
39:27Well, I need to make everything stop.
39:30Finally, you put my love on top.
39:33Ooh, baby.
39:35You put my love on top, top, top, top, top, top.
39:40You put my love on top, top, top.
39:43Ooh, ooh.
39:44Whoo!
39:46Whoo!
39:52Wow!
39:53Wow!
40:23That was a great call. Thank you for that call. Thank you for the guy who showed the chombone.
40:39We have another caller on the air. Welcome.
40:42Yeah.
40:42Yeah, who's this? What do you want to talk about?
40:44I just want to talk about the quote-unquote African-American.
40:50No, thank you.
40:51Next caller, next caller. Welcome to the show.
40:55Hey, how you doing?
40:56Yeah, who's this? Hold on, hold on. Who's this?
40:59It's Henry Kaiser.
41:00Henry, what do you want to talk about?
41:02I want to sing a song. Don, can you back me up here?
41:05Yeah, I know the song you're about to sing.
41:06Drew, do we have time for this?
41:09You've got your chains had to miss that.
41:12Oh, we don't have time.
41:13Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank the Cocoon Central dance team for throwing that out tonight.
41:17Thank everybody called, tweeted. Thank everybody who came to the show.
41:20We ruined the show. It was not enjoyable.
41:22Very bad idea. Very bad hour of my life.
41:25Thank you, Jeff Rubin, for joining us. I'm so, so sorry.
41:27Next week, we've got a dominatrix coming.
41:30A dominatrix.
41:32I will be her slave. She will be my master.
41:35Check it out.
41:36Thank you guys all for checking out the show.
41:38Have a great night.
41:39Good night live stream. We love you guys.
41:56Thanks for checking it out.
42:09We'll be back next week.
42:26All right, everybody who's still here.
42:28All right, everybody who's still here.