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MiniTale
  • 2 days ago
Matrimoney
Transcript
00:00:00What?
00:00:01Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:08Here, place your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:12Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience school.
00:00:23Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?!
00:00:29She's my sister!
00:00:30I don't care!
00:00:31That violates our agreement!
00:00:32How?!
00:00:33What the fuck?!
00:00:36What?!
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't worry.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite!
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:43I fucking hate you!
00:00:45I fucking hate you more!
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well...
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:00:59Wait.
00:01:00What are you doing?
00:01:01That is an original.
00:01:02I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:01:05Oh, fine!
00:01:06I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:12You're treating me like shit!
00:01:14That's from the Renaissance!
00:01:16You are history's worst nightmare!
00:01:18I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:19We signed a contract!
00:01:20For an arranged marriage!
00:01:21Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:25You are such a simpleton!
00:01:27Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:28Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:29I tried to get along with you.
00:01:30You brought this on to yourself.
00:01:31I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:01:32Right back at you!
00:01:33I fucking hate you!
00:01:43I fucking hate you more!
00:01:45Lord.
00:02:05So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair,
00:02:13maybe you thought I was leaving,
00:02:14we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me,
00:02:27I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:35Oh.
00:02:41Come on, Gucci.
00:02:41Let's go.
00:02:42Hey, Amelia.
00:02:45Hey, James.
00:02:50Come on, Gucci.
00:02:51Let's go.
00:02:56You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy,
00:03:00it reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built
00:03:05with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:10I make my own money.
00:03:11Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:13Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:15I am the spokesperson for man-thome.
00:03:17That means free underwear for life.
00:03:19For life.
00:03:20Some parents would be proud.
00:03:22Yeah?
00:03:23Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now
00:03:25and then.
00:03:26You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:31Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a
00:03:34Kardashian, huh?
00:03:35Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:38And don't be late.
00:03:39Bye, Dad.
00:03:41Excuse me.
00:03:54Hello, my Gucci.
00:03:57Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:02He needs to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:18Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:39Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool.
00:04:43Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:45Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:52Chantal.
00:04:53Nice to meet you.
00:04:54I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:58Uh, I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:01Hold that thought.
00:05:05Hey, Dad.
00:05:07Where the hell were you?
00:05:09Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:17I can meet him later.
00:05:19Ah, it's two ladies back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:23Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:34You...
00:05:35You have potential, okay?
00:05:37But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:39Well, you're gonna have to prove it, cause so far, I ain't seen the ante from you.
00:05:45Bye, Dad.
00:05:47Hey.
00:05:50You okay?
00:05:52Yeah.
00:05:53Um...
00:05:54But...
00:05:55I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:58So, it's a...
00:06:12really rare form of cancer.
00:06:15Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:19Oh, my God.
00:06:20There is an experimental treatment, but it's really expensive, and my insurance doesn't
00:06:24cover it.
00:06:25Don't worry about that.
00:06:26I have money saved.
00:06:27I'll find the rest.
00:06:29We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:30We're gonna get through this together.
00:06:32Oh, yeah.
00:06:33Oh, yeah.
00:06:34Oh.
00:06:35Oh.
00:06:36Oh.
00:06:37Oh.
00:06:38Oh.
00:06:39Oh.
00:06:40Oh.
00:06:41Oh.
00:06:42Oh.
00:06:43Oh.
00:06:44Oh.
00:06:45Oh.
00:06:46Oh.
00:06:47Oh.
00:06:48Oh.
00:06:49Oh.
00:06:50Oh.
00:06:51Oh.
00:06:52Oh.
00:06:53Oh.
00:06:54Oh.
00:06:55Oh.
00:06:56Oh.
00:06:56Oh.
00:06:56Did she have a good mom?
00:06:58Ye-ye-ye.
00:06:59What's wrong?
00:07:03Yeah.
00:07:05I'm sorry.
00:07:06This...
00:07:07No, no.
00:07:08Forget about it.
00:07:09I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:10The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:14I have a savings for my doggy daycare, my dream, but...
00:07:19...it's only enough for one treatment, and who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After our parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia, I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:41Come back tonight and make something nice.
00:07:49Come on, baby.
00:07:56Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Well, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:12Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:24Mm-hmm.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:25Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44Amelia.
00:08:46Hey, I'll read it at you, huh?
00:08:48Yeah.
00:08:55Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What?
00:09:02Exactly.
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:12I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15It's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:29Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:47Pour me another.
00:09:47I told you, I'm...
00:09:49Now.
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See?
00:10:00Dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking product!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:17Amelia!
00:10:19Whoa!
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink,
00:10:23and she flipped out!
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:10:26but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:33All right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:38All right?
00:10:39Just have a seat.
00:10:40All right?
00:10:40And I promise,
00:10:41he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:45So,
00:10:45Amelia needs money
00:10:46to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:52And you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy
00:10:55of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:03Now,
00:11:03I think we can, uh,
00:11:05make a deal
00:11:06whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:11Well,
00:11:13it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married,
00:11:18that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus,
00:11:23what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah,
00:11:27and I can't marry someone
00:11:28who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well,
00:11:30at least I don't pose
00:11:31in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:32You have to grow up
00:11:36before you can run out of business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that
00:11:39is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look,
00:11:49you know,
00:11:49my wife and I,
00:11:51we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah,
00:11:53we were like pizza
00:11:54and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy
00:11:58when we first met.
00:12:01I know you're probably thinking
00:12:02I'm just some old fool, huh,
00:12:03but I learned a thing or two
00:12:05in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah,
00:12:09like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus,
00:12:13isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable
00:12:16for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia,
00:12:18you do want to help your sister.
00:12:19don't you?
00:12:20Well,
00:12:21you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:29What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:45Michelangelo,
00:12:46it's not polite
00:12:47to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree
00:12:50to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose
00:12:54the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose
00:12:57your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now,
00:13:05let's just
00:13:06go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already
00:13:10drafted the contract.
00:13:11And,
00:13:11son,
00:13:12we are going to need
00:13:13some champagne.
00:13:15You're in my market.
00:13:16Try and make yourself
00:13:17look decent now.
00:13:21You will be engaged
00:13:22for a period of 30 days,
00:13:24followed by a wedding
00:13:26planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's going to be a big one
00:13:29for the ages, too.
00:13:30I hope the Halloween
00:13:32Bowl's not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:34you must move in together
00:13:36immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion,
00:13:38you know.
00:13:39Look,
00:13:39there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but,
00:13:42well,
00:13:43it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out
00:13:45to the public,
00:13:45right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be
00:13:47our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:12Salute
00:14:13to the new couple.
00:14:22So,
00:14:25your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying
00:14:28at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:41So this is
00:14:43Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:52Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here,
00:15:13not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing
00:15:16with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:18It's trademarked.
00:15:22Look,
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up
00:15:27by the time I get back,
00:15:28we're throwing it all
00:15:28in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh,
00:15:37by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might wanna start
00:15:41wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:46Welcome.
00:15:46Welcome.
00:15:46Welcome.
00:15:46Welcome.
00:15:47Welcome.
00:15:47Welcome.
00:15:48Welcome.
00:15:48Welcome.
00:15:49Welcome.
00:15:49Welcome.
00:15:50Welcome.
00:15:50Welcome.
00:15:50Welcome.
00:15:51Welcome.
00:15:52You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:01It's not like you.
00:16:02You're saying you're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well,
00:16:11things change
00:16:12when you find out
00:16:13your sister has cancer.
00:16:15And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered
00:16:17to help pay
00:16:18for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So,
00:16:20I'm okay with
00:16:20a quick proposal.
00:16:21Michelangelo? The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:26Michelangelo... Dino Valino? Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valino?
00:16:33Shhh!
00:16:38So, do I ever have to start a hundred and cancel Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so...toxic.
00:16:54Speak of the devil?
00:16:56Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:04Amelia.
00:17:07Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:10Doctor's ready.
00:17:12We'll talk about this later.
00:17:15You ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:25We're already wet.
00:17:28You ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:38We're already wet.
00:17:40You ready to get wet, baby?
00:17:41We know...
00:17:42Oh.
00:17:43Oh.
00:17:44Where did that come from?
00:17:58Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks.
00:18:27Finally.
00:18:29Ooh, good taste.
00:18:32Oh, I'm good.
00:18:34We had plenty at dinner.
00:18:36More for me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:44Ooh.
00:18:53Who are you?
00:18:57Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:04Amelia.
00:19:06Whatever.
00:19:07Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:13We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:19You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:23Who's jealous?
00:19:24Jealous? I'm not jealous.
00:19:26Sweet dreams.
00:19:30I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:41Even if he is kind of hot.
00:19:58See you later.
00:20:04And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:08Sorry. I had one too many to drink. It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:24How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now. My head's killing me.
00:20:29We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No. What we need to do is order a three-egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:35I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine. I'll have her sign an NDA. Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious.
00:21:01Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:08Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:15Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:19Sorry.
00:21:20It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21Just really...
00:21:24hungover.
00:21:25That could have gone better.
00:21:28Oh, hey.
00:21:33Hey, baby.
00:21:35You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:40I know.
00:21:41I like it.
00:21:41Oh, that's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:47Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:51Oh, fine.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:57Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02Look, I...
00:22:02I promise.
00:22:04I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:06You're right.
00:22:08Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12Come on.
00:22:12Bye, Gooch.
00:22:16Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no.
00:22:21Royce.
00:22:23Say bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:38Sorry.
00:22:39Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:48A little dog owner is Beverly Hills.
00:22:52Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57I'd like that.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:07A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:14Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:19Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:22How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:40If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:48Do you want to go?
00:23:51I kind of have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:58Yeah.
00:24:00I still do.
00:24:01He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:08Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:15I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:17Hell yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:24I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:33Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:36Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:50I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:57No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13I should pick it up.
00:25:15Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:19Come on.
00:25:20Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:28You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:39Yes, I bet.
00:25:39Yeah, that means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get to Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:50Oh, my goodness.
00:26:04Are you okay?
00:26:05Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:17It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:24But yeah, that's the presentation from me, Michelangelo.
00:26:36What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:41It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now, well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:09I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:19Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:39Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work, raise
00:27:49you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:55You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:28:04Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dino Verdea Mamm.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:24What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along all right, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28We're just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight in the limo, and don't be late.
00:28:41Why, Dad?
00:28:52So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:01And?
00:29:04And?
00:29:05You know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:08But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry, just an expression.
00:29:17How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:36Is that bad?
00:29:37I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress.
00:29:45ASAP.
00:29:49Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:29:53You better not?
00:29:54You better move tonight.
00:30:07You better win me.
00:30:09You better not go in.
00:30:10Don't be pitiful.
00:30:11Don't be said as long.
00:30:13You better be careful.
00:30:14Thing Five.
00:30:14You better miss she never Berit.
00:30:15You better come.
00:30:16You better be there.
00:30:17что бус?
00:30:18Don't worry.
00:30:19What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:32Thanks.
00:30:32Um, hi.
00:30:35Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:43Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome.
00:30:49Thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:53Wait, I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you, I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on!
00:31:02Amelia!
00:31:10All right, hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:13Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:17She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:21If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some, give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Telling me that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:34Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:43Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:48Hey, it's Michael Lennon with Dean Levino.
00:31:58Do you still track people?
00:31:59Do you still track people?
00:32:01Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:17You look like you just walked off a runway
00:32:21Without a dog
00:32:23Sorry, I don't come to concerts often
00:32:26I kind of panicked
00:32:27No worries, I should have mentioned
00:32:29This is more of a $5 beer kind of place
00:32:31Yeah
00:32:32But you're drinking for free tonight
00:32:34Talk to the bartender
00:32:36Wow, the IP treatment
00:32:38You look like it
00:32:39Thanks, Jamie
00:32:41Hey, lover boy
00:32:44We're on
00:32:45Gotta go
00:32:48Find me in the green room after
00:32:50Hope you like it
00:32:52Break a leg
00:32:53Love you, baby
00:32:54Rock stars are so much better than underwear
00:33:15Models
00:33:16Good
00:33:25Nothing from Michelangelo
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson
00:33:28One more, please
00:33:31But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight
00:33:38Jake, you guys were great
00:33:47You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes
00:33:53The who?
00:33:55You don't know the strokes
00:33:57Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl
00:34:03It's alright
00:34:05Lots of stuff to introduce you to
00:34:07You want some of that a drink?
00:34:10Yeah
00:34:10Thank you
00:34:11So
00:34:17When did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13
00:34:22Played in bands all through high school and college
00:34:25But
00:34:25I feel like this one's finally going someplace
00:34:27That's awesome
00:34:29And when I get my record deal
00:34:30I can finally quit my job
00:34:32Focus on music full time
00:34:34You're gonna quit dog walking?
00:34:37I thought you liked it
00:34:38I do, but
00:34:39It's just another gig until I hit it big in music
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much
00:34:44I'm more of a cat person
00:34:45A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci
00:34:54I don't want to talk about work tonight
00:34:56I just want to relax
00:34:58Have a good time
00:35:00You're beautiful, you know that
00:35:02I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake
00:35:07Now I'm not sure
00:35:09We have nothing in common
00:35:10Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:15What the heck
00:35:17I'm tipsy
00:35:18And he's cute
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun
00:35:20Now I can have mine
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience
00:35:38What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino
00:35:42The Nepo Baby underwear model
00:35:44He's not
00:35:45You're coming with me, dog walker
00:35:47Don't make me get the leash
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude
00:35:52Back off
00:35:53Grubby little hipster
00:35:55She's my fiancée
00:35:56So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain
00:36:00Let's go
00:36:02I'm really sorry, Jake
00:36:05I'm not, Jake
00:36:06This
00:36:12Is for making me Uber
00:36:13All the way to fucking sober, Mike
00:36:15And this is for making me listen to Andy
00:36:19I can't believe you did that
00:36:26After your high and mighty speech
00:36:27You're such a hypocrite
00:36:28Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho
00:36:33I'm not following you around
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it
00:36:37You saw me with Chantel last night
00:36:39And now you're jealous
00:36:41Me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:46Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick
00:36:51I have a name
00:36:51Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit
00:36:56Oh, fine!
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine
00:37:00Go back to ancient Rome
00:37:01And get another one
00:37:02I don't care about your art
00:37:03Your money
00:37:04Your stupid mansion
00:37:05You're treating me
00:37:05Like shit
00:37:06That's from the renaissance
00:37:09You are history's worst nightmare
00:37:10I tried to make this work with you
00:37:12We signed a contract
00:37:13For an arranged marriage
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton
00:37:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:37:24Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat
00:37:27I tried to get along with you
00:37:28You brought this on to yourself
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement
00:37:32Right back at you
00:37:33I fucking hate you
00:37:35I fucking hate you more
00:38:05Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
00:38:15Where am I?
00:38:41Who's spooning me?
00:38:45Is that Jake?
00:38:47How drunk was I?
00:38:52Michelangelo?
00:38:55Dog walker.
00:38:57Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08We had too many drinks.
00:39:10We just forget it ever happened, if that's what you want.
00:39:14Definitely.
00:39:16Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up too.
00:39:23Oh, my head.
00:39:25There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:39:27Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:29Of course.
00:39:31My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:35Well, you look great.
00:39:37Thanks.
00:39:39I don't feel great.
00:39:41The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:45But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:49What's going on?
00:39:51Sooo...
00:39:53Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:57For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:01We're taking it slow.
00:40:03Michelangelo.
00:40:05The male gigolo is taking it slow.
00:40:08Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:40:12And...
00:40:14How was it?
00:40:16Well...
00:40:17Really bad.
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it.
00:40:20Actually...
00:40:21It was the best sex I ever had?
00:40:24Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:27Hello.
00:40:30I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike.
00:40:40And yet, he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like...
00:40:43Like an arcade game.
00:40:44And he just keeps getting the high score.
00:40:45Again, and again, and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean...
00:40:55That's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:00Something like that.
00:41:11Here it comes.
00:41:12Right on the schedule.
00:41:13The dog walker's in love with me.
00:41:15I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:18Weird.
00:41:19I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:24What was that about?
00:41:25Must be the hangover.
00:41:31Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Hey.
00:41:59Unfortunately, something came up.
00:42:01I...
00:42:02I can't make it tonight.
00:42:06Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she...
00:42:10texted me yet?
00:42:16I'm not very good with words.
00:42:17Me neither.
00:42:18But...
00:42:19last night...
00:42:20I'm not very good with words.
00:42:21Me neither.
00:42:22But...
00:42:23Last night, I...
00:42:24You don't have to say anything.
00:42:25We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:26And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:27Like, thusly.
00:42:28I'm not very good with words.
00:42:29Me neither.
00:42:30But...
00:42:31Last night, I...
00:42:32You don't have to say anything.
00:42:33We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:34And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:36Like, nothing ever happened.
00:42:37I don't think you understand it.
00:42:38You just listen to me for a second.
00:42:39Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:40I'm a big girl.
00:42:41I've had a one-night stand before.
00:42:42I've never been with someone like you before.
00:42:43Okay.
00:42:44I'm not very good with words.
00:42:45I'm not very good with words.
00:42:46I'm not very good with words.
00:42:47Me neither.
00:42:48But...
00:42:49Last night, I...
00:42:50You don't have to say anything.
00:42:51We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:52And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:53Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand it.
00:42:55If you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look.
00:42:57You don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay.
00:43:06I get it.
00:43:07I'm not one of your...
00:43:08Your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18I mean...
00:43:19Frankly, so would I.
00:43:20I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's...
00:43:23Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34I...
00:43:35What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night...
00:43:44I don't know how.
00:43:45I don't know why.
00:43:47That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:51Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:54I'm not a good actor.
00:43:56I could even do reality TV.
00:43:58But...
00:44:00There is...
00:44:01A fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy...
00:44:04Cosmic chemistry.
00:44:06You sound like you're...
00:44:09Reading a horoscope.
00:44:10Amelia.
00:44:11Please.
00:44:12I know you felt it too.
00:44:15Amelia.
00:44:16Please.
00:44:17Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:18Amelia.
00:44:19Please.
00:44:20Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:21I felt it too.
00:44:22So why are we fighting it?
00:44:23I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:24Me too.
00:44:25I'ts.
00:44:28That...
00:44:29Fuck.
00:44:31What are you struggling?
00:44:32What was it...
00:44:33Please.
00:44:34Go.
00:44:35Check, oh...
00:44:36I know you're on the right side.
00:44:39What's happening?
00:44:40You know you don't talk...
00:44:41Just saying why are you self-fulistles with me too?
00:44:44Let's get started.
00:45:14Set the kitchen on fire?
00:45:16How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault.
00:45:21They should change the name.
00:45:24No wonder they canceled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:27If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag?
00:45:42You're not so bad.
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:54I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean like, you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:21Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:23Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:37Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy.
00:46:39I know.
00:46:41I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:45I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:05Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:47:09I didn't mean a pride.
00:47:12I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:25I thought we had a connection.
00:47:27You're a cat person.
00:47:29It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:37That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:48Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:48:00But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:11I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get her, lover boy.
00:48:16So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:33It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:38That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:46Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point in working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:58You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:48:59If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:14I've got a big surprise.
00:49:16A surprise?
00:49:18Just wait and see.
00:49:18Have a good night, Mr. Dino Bellino.
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:37Special delivery from Masteryone's Italian Deli.
00:49:42Look, Gucci.
00:49:44It's your favorite prosciutto.
00:49:45You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:57I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:02I'm kidding.
00:50:04This is for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a court script?
00:50:07What else is in the back?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients,
00:50:11so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:15That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy, even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:36I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No.
00:50:43My mom taught me.
00:50:43Tell me about her.
00:50:46I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:57But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:01She grew up in a little village in Tuscany,
00:51:03and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:07We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:11I still have all of her recipes here, handwritten in Italian.
00:51:19That's really special.
00:51:22I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:30It's not corny.
00:51:31But I didn't know you were such a softy.
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:38What about your parents?
00:51:40My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:47Sorry.
00:51:48I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her, too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No, no, it's fine.
00:52:04I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:15Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:23You don't want espresso.
00:52:33Hey.
00:52:34Hey.
00:52:36Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:52:40No, thank you.
00:52:41Me and Dad have a morning meeting.
00:52:42I'm kind of in a rush.
00:52:43Okay, well, don't forget Gucci.
00:52:45How could I?
00:52:47Ready, bro?
00:52:50Well, let me fix your tie.
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:54You wear t-shirts to work.
00:52:57And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:53:00Touché.
00:53:01There you go.
00:53:03Okay, bye.
00:53:04Bye.
00:53:07Love you.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you, too.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you, too.
00:53:11Love you.
00:53:11Love you, too.
00:53:13Love you, too.
00:53:15Love you, too.
00:53:17Love you, too.
00:53:18Sorry.
00:53:20Reflex.
00:53:20I didn't mean to say that.
00:53:22Me neither.
00:53:23Too soon.
00:53:24Uh, talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:29Okay.
00:53:30Ugh, could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:33And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:35Look who's here. Hey, my little guy. Hey, little Gucci. Look at this right here, huh? Let's try it. Oh, yeah. Now, here's mine, right? Just like that, huh? Yeah. Even got one for Big Brother. Right there. Come to Papa. Yes, my boy.
00:54:05All right. All right. So, we got to talk about this wedding, right? This is two weeks off. Hollywood Bowl. They're waiting for an answer. And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane. He says the band is free. You like Coldplay, right? Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl. Well, all right. Then we'll book the Magic Castle. How about that? Not too big. Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh? Dad, let's just pump the brakes. We cannot
00:54:35plan a wedding like this. What? Something wrong with Amelia? No. Everything is great. It's better than great, honestly. But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding. That's our thing. It's not Amelia's thing. I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:54:54Wow. Wow. I never thought of that. You know, you have a very good point there. I'm very impressed. You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:55:08I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl. Hmm. Sounds like you might be falling in love. Love? Yeah. I don't know.
00:55:19He's cute. He's cute. All right, all right. Change of deal. Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right? And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding with Coldplay.
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad. No Coldplay.
00:55:43So, it's about my cancer treatment. It's not working.
00:55:49I know it. I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:55:53And I'm cured.
00:55:55What? You're cured?
00:55:58Oh, congratulations.
00:56:02I wasn't expecting it. I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:56:06It only took two sessions? I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:56:13Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:56:15Maybe. What's wrong, sis?
00:56:17We should be celebrating.
00:56:20I brought Prosecco.
00:56:21No. Yeah.
00:56:23No, I'm good.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:26Amelia, I'm your sister.
00:56:28You can tell me anything.
00:56:29Is it Michelangelo?
00:56:33Is everything okay?
00:56:35If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:56:43It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:56:47It's me.
00:56:48I have to tell you something.
00:56:55I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage?
00:57:01What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:57:06And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:57:09Actually, he's not that bad.
00:57:13I kind of like him.
00:57:14Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:57:18We need to get you out of there.
00:57:21Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:57:26But what about the tabloid stories?
00:57:30You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:57:33They banned him for life.
00:57:35You'll never go to Epcot.
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories.
00:57:40Or at least not to me.
00:57:42He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:57:47If you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:57:53What if you meet him?
00:57:55Yeah, meet him.
00:57:58Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:57:59Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:58:01Don't count on it.
00:58:03Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:58:07Fine.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:09Only one.
00:58:10Yes.
00:58:10You won't regret it.
00:58:14I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:58:18You better bring the whole bottle.
00:58:23Thank you for making dinner.
00:58:26Of course.
00:58:26I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:58:28We need to celebrate.
00:58:32Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:37You mean besides me?
00:58:38I'm serious.
00:58:40It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:58:43Have a glass of wine.
00:58:46Tonight's going to be great.
00:58:57It's enormous.
00:58:58Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:03It's nice to see you, too, sis.
00:59:09Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:59:13So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:59:19Uh, how about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:25$96 Dom Perignon?
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:59:29Yeah, I-
00:59:29Sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:59:32It's worth more than my car.
00:59:33Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:38$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:59:40It's delicious.
00:59:40This was made in France.
00:59:44Sorry.
00:59:45Can't touch that stuff.
00:59:47So, who wants a drink?
00:59:49You hardly touch your food.
01:00:13It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:16Mine tastes great.
01:00:21So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:28You don't mind, do you?
01:00:30Fire away.
01:00:32So, I know you two have been having your...
01:00:36fun.
01:00:37Um, but...
01:00:39What's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:44I don't think it's going to.
01:00:46That's cute and all, but what about her career?
01:00:50Are you going to support her?
01:00:52Or kids, what's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just going to jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Let's see.
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:01:06We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:08See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:01:10You two are getting married, and you barely know each other.
01:01:14We know now.
01:01:16Easy, Betsy.
01:01:18I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:01:22And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:26And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:27I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:31Michelangelo.
01:01:31You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:01:36She gets it from you.
01:01:38Are you going to let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:40You started it.
01:01:41Why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:51Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:53No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:56That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:58She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:02:00You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:02And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:06You know what?
01:02:07You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:02:08That's my sister.
01:02:09She just survived cancer.
01:02:10That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house, too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:02:22I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:02:26but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:29You told her?
01:02:30She's my sister.
01:02:31I don't care.
01:02:32That violates our agreement.
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:35A contractual agreement?
01:02:36Some kind of obligation?
01:02:38It's not what I meant.
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:02:41I love you.
01:02:43You love me?
01:02:44Don't listen to him.
01:02:46He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:47Shut the fuck up!
01:02:49You know what?
01:02:50Maybe she was right.
01:02:51I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:02:53It's over.
01:02:53We need to get out of here.
01:03:01I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:03:06Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing.
01:03:17You do so much better than him.
01:03:19Yeah.
01:03:21But he isn't a monster.
01:03:23I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road.
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:03:31Lay low for a bit.
01:03:33Mexico?
01:03:34Or Canada.
01:03:35Whatever.
01:03:36It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Livinos.
01:03:40Or worse.
01:03:41I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:03:44I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:03:47It's not like I told the media.
01:03:49You don't know that.
01:03:51We're liabilities.
01:03:53Loose ends.
01:03:55You should listen to more True Crime podcast.
01:04:00Get rid of that thing.
01:04:02They could be tracking us right now.
01:04:05Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the ecoplex the other day.
01:04:09See?
01:04:11You could have a sniper on us.
01:04:17It's Romulus.
01:04:19Hey, Romulus.
01:04:21What?
01:04:22What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:36You came.
01:04:39Against my better judgment.
01:04:41I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:44I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:04:49You should punish me for straying.
01:04:54You make me sick.
01:04:55I make me sick.
01:04:57I make me sick.
01:05:05Nice underwear.
01:05:10It's a great craftsmanship.
01:05:11Okay, let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say?
01:05:23Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry, Chantel.
01:05:29I thought I wanted this.
01:05:34But I don't.
01:05:36I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:38Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:46It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:52Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:58And all I wish is I could take back how I acted.
01:06:01I just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:14Amelia?
01:06:16Hi, Dad.
01:06:18Gucci's gone?
01:06:19I'll be right there.
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Hold on.
01:06:32Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:50Oh.
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:52Good.
01:06:53Gucci!
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:56Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:01Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey!
01:07:03Where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late night delivery of Mastrionis.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17This doesn't ring out of hiding.
01:07:18Nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, dude.
01:07:22Here, ladies.
01:07:23Take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:25That's it.
01:07:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:07:29Give me the urc.
01:07:41Gucci!
01:07:41He's hopeless.
01:07:48We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:55He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:58Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:07:59See, they're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:09He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:20Gucci!
01:08:20My boy's back!
01:08:25Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:38I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:12Amelia, I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:30I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you
01:09:33for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34Okay.
01:09:38I hope that you know you mean so much more to me
01:09:40than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:49And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:58Most of them are good.
01:09:59I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:08What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia, this might sound crazy, but...
01:10:16I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:18And I don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together.
01:10:25I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:29Dad.
01:10:30What is it, son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:37Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:41And not because of some legal obligation.
01:10:47But because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contract null and void.
01:11:02Amelia.
01:11:03Amelia.
01:11:04What will it be?
01:11:05Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:32You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:35And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:39Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:42All right.
01:11:43All right.
01:11:45You two.
01:11:46That's enough.
01:11:47All right.
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place.
01:11:51All right.
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast.
01:11:53Italian style.
01:11:55Huh?
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:57I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding.
01:12:02All right.
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:12:06Especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:11And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia.
01:12:43Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time and not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:04I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25Amelia, you're the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:36I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up with a former man-thong model, but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:55Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:58And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:13With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:31Thanks.
01:14:33I'm Betsy.
01:14:35Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake.
01:14:38Another dog walker.
01:14:39It's crazy, you know, giving my sister, but I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too.
01:14:49Strong faith, close family.
01:14:55She was in the midst of tragedy.
Comments
1
  • MarleeK6 hours ago
    Sound is awful
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