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00:00:003, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4
00:00:04Come take a ride, come take a ride
00:00:16It's Wednesday night, it's Wednesday night
00:00:21The Chris Gathard Show, Chris Gathard Show
00:00:27Chris Gathard Show, Chris Gathard Show
00:00:31All right, welcome!
00:00:34Thank you so much
00:00:37Yeah, yeah, okay
00:00:44All right, keep going
00:00:46Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup
00:00:51Uh-huh, uh-huh
00:00:54Next week we just do that for an hour
00:01:05Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Chris Gathard Show
00:01:08I'm your host, Chris Gathard
00:01:09I want to thank everybody in our studio audience for being here
00:01:11We do not do that yet
00:01:13We've got a great show for you guys tonight
00:01:17We're very, very happy for everybody who joined in
00:01:19We're going to say hello to the people watching on MNN in Manhattan
00:01:21We want to say hi to everybody watching on our live stream
00:01:24Please let everybody know they can go to the chrisgethardshow.com
00:01:27Watch live online right now
00:01:29The first thing we want to address before we even get into anything else is
00:01:32A.C. Newman was supposed to be our musical guest tonight
00:01:34You guys know him from his solo albums, from his work with the new pornographers
00:01:37We're all really excited
00:01:38Fortunately, Hurricane Irene fucked that one up
00:01:41He had to reschedule
00:01:42So we are very apologetic about that, very sad
00:01:46But he'll be back shortly
00:01:47Why don't I go ahead and sit down and introduce everybody who's with us tonight
00:01:52The first person I've got to introduce, because time is of the essence
00:01:54Mr. Phil Jackson on the end
00:01:55Joining us second time, you've been on the show, right Phil?
00:02:00Now Phil, the reason I wanted to introduce you first is because
00:02:04Like I said, it's important
00:02:05Since we don't have our musical guest
00:02:07You are going to play accompaniment with A.C. tonight
00:02:09And you're here anyway
00:02:11You have a saxophone with you
00:02:12And you're still going to play
00:02:14And we want to invite, if you are out there watching this show
00:02:17And you have a musical instrument
00:02:19And within the next like 40, 45 minutes
00:02:21You can get to the MNN Studios on 59th between 10th and 11th
00:02:25This show is going to end with every random musician in New York
00:02:29We can find showing up and playing
00:02:31And then this whole crowd is going to dance
00:02:32I think we alerted our crowd and emailed in to bring instruments
00:02:34If you have an instrument, let's just play it now
00:02:36So people can know, get a sense of what they're doing
00:02:38We've got a triangle, another triangle
00:02:40A kazoo, a trumpet-shaped kazoo
00:02:42A keyboard, a really weird machine
00:02:45That guy's playing a machine
00:02:47Great
00:02:50So great
00:02:51So we already have a great band to work with
00:02:53As you guys can see
00:02:53We're going to have a guy dressed as a penguin
00:02:55Playing an omni-chord
00:02:56So we're good
00:02:57Although we've got to find someplace to plug that thing in
00:02:59I guess
00:02:59I've got an extension cord
00:03:00Penguin brought an extension cord
00:03:03So, Phil, just so we can let people know
00:03:05What are like the top three instruments
00:03:07You would like to show up tonight?
00:03:09Oh man
00:03:09I mean, we've got a lot of things in the audience
00:03:11We don't have a trumpet
00:03:13We don't have a trumpet doing
00:03:14If we've got somebody who's like trumpet, get down
00:03:16Timpani
00:03:16We need some kind of percussion
00:03:19A bongo like timpani
00:03:20A bongo percussionist
00:03:22If you are out there, you're watching this right now
00:03:23You're in your house
00:03:24You're a musician
00:03:24You have an instrument handy
00:03:2559th, between 10th and 11th
00:03:27MNN
00:03:28Tell them you're here for the Chris Gethard Show
00:03:30It's live
00:03:30Just jump in a cab
00:03:31Get here now
00:03:32We want to see a trickling
00:03:33It doesn't even
00:03:34We don't care if you're insane
00:03:36That's our whole thing
00:03:38Come on out and play some music
00:03:39And we'll see how it goes
00:03:40So, Phil
00:03:41That's so fun
00:03:42It should be fun
00:03:42It'll be fun or a disaster
00:03:44That's Bethany, my assistant, chiming in
00:03:46We have Shannon O'Neill here once again
00:03:48A mainstay of the show
00:03:50And joining us
00:03:51Joining us for the first time tonight
00:03:56An old friend of mine
00:03:58Not only is you a DJ on Sirius Satellite Radio
00:04:02And a legend of the public access world
00:04:04Mr. Jake Fogelness
00:04:05Ladies and gentlemen
00:04:05Long time MNN viewers
00:04:10Probably recognize you from Squirt TV
00:04:12Your show back in the day
00:04:13I used to be cuter and littler
00:04:15Oh, I think you're still very cute and very little
00:04:17I just want to say that
00:04:19I imagine that Lou Reed might be watching
00:04:23So
00:04:23Yo
00:04:24If Lou Reed shows up tonight
00:04:26Maybe you're in bed with Laurie Anderson
00:04:29It would be legendary
00:04:31That is true
00:04:32If you're a famous musician
00:04:33Or a friend of one
00:04:34If someone fucking nuts
00:04:36Walks through that door tonight
00:04:37That would be really cool
00:04:38It would be like
00:04:39First of all
00:04:40People will blog about it tomorrow
00:04:41But it'd be like
00:04:43You know when the Beatles
00:04:44Were like
00:04:45Lorne Michaels was like
00:04:46I'll offer $3,000 to the Beatles
00:04:48Well, you know
00:04:49Paul and John were watching
00:04:50And they were like
00:04:51Maybe we should go down there
00:04:51And then they didn't
00:04:52You can fix that tonight
00:04:54Yeah
00:04:54So if you're like
00:04:56Yo, like Biz Marquis
00:04:57Is out there
00:04:58Yo, Biz Marquis is out there
00:05:00Get down here, man
00:05:01Ghostface killer
00:05:03Come over to Staten Island, man
00:05:05Jump in
00:05:05We know you've got an Escalade
00:05:06Drive fast
00:05:07Skaggs
00:05:07Yeah, yeah
00:05:08Who else
00:05:09Who else do we know
00:05:09Lives in New York
00:05:10Can you do more to live in New York?
00:05:12No, Gene
00:05:13Patty Smith, I think
00:05:15Patty Smith
00:05:16Oh, man
00:05:17Let's get people down here
00:05:18Any musician at all
00:05:19Let's get down here
00:05:20Oh, and also
00:05:20Daniel Ratcliffe
00:05:21Just because I saw him yesterday
00:05:22And I have a crush on him
00:05:24What's he going to play
00:05:24Is Naked Dick
00:05:25We also have to introduce
00:05:32The mysterious man from the sea
00:05:34We don't know much about him
00:05:35Except he's figuring out this world
00:05:36Jake, you are perhaps
00:05:37The earliest supporter of this guy
00:05:39Yeah
00:05:39Ladies and gentlemen
00:05:40The human fish
00:05:41Human fish
00:05:46Human fish
00:05:48What's he thinking?
00:05:49Human fish
00:05:50Human fish
00:05:52Human fish
00:05:54Human fish
00:05:55The word art
00:05:56Human fish
00:05:56Human fish
00:05:57Human fish
00:05:57We have learned
00:05:58Communicates in dog language
00:05:59So for those of you guys
00:06:01Who don't know
00:06:01The human fish
00:06:02He's figuring out this world of men
00:06:03He's always got something on his mind
00:06:04These internal battles
00:06:05Human fish
00:06:06What's on your mind right now?
00:06:08Harry Nielsen versus Harry Belafonte
00:06:10Harry Nielsen versus Harry Belafonte
00:06:14Who wins?
00:06:15Harry Nielsen
00:06:15Wow
00:06:15Really?
00:06:17I would have gone Belafonte
00:06:18I mean, nothing against Calypso
00:06:20But Harry Nielsen's amazing
00:06:22Sure, sure
00:06:22I want to thank the LLC for playing us in
00:06:24And I want to get our
00:06:25We should just get the contest started
00:06:29And it relates to the person
00:06:31We all know
00:06:31We all love
00:06:32A lot of debate
00:06:33Raging around this person
00:06:34Second show we ever had
00:06:36She called up
00:06:37She said, what is this show?
00:06:38We said, come on down
00:06:38She's been a part of the show ever since
00:06:40Random Jean
00:06:41Ladies and gentlemen
00:06:41That is right
00:06:59We are having the Random Jean Trivia Contest tonight
00:07:01Because a lot of people have been calling up saying
00:07:03This is our 11th show
00:07:04You've been on 10 of them, Random Jean
00:07:06A lot of people
00:07:07Jake Fogel and us
00:07:08You called up yourself
00:07:09You said
00:07:09Yeah
00:07:09Hey
00:07:10She's not random anymore
00:07:11Random Jean ain't so random
00:07:12No
00:07:12So tonight what we're going to do
00:07:14All of us on the panel
00:07:15We have these markers
00:07:15And this paper
00:07:16The way this is going to work
00:07:18Random Jean is going to periodically ask us questions from her life
00:07:21We're going to have to answer them
00:07:23And it's going to prove if Random Jean is random or not
00:07:25So Jean, you've designed a bunch of questions
00:07:27That usually anyone who's a friend of yours would know about you
00:07:29These are things about your life that are visible
00:07:31Your friends all know this stuff
00:07:32So if you're not random
00:07:33That must mean if we've hung out 10 times
00:07:35That would mean we're friends
00:07:36Yeah
00:07:36This is a good litmus test
00:07:37Whether you're random or not
00:07:39And here's what we're going to do too
00:07:40I got a bag of prizes
00:07:41And everybody on the panel
00:07:43Should just pick an audience member
00:07:44That they're going to play for
00:07:45And if we happen
00:07:46There's no way we'll get any of these things
00:07:49But if we do
00:07:50Your audience member wins a prize
00:07:52So everybody should pick someone
00:07:53I'll play for Walter
00:07:54Okay, Shannon's playing for our only fan
00:07:56Walter
00:07:56Who's in the house tonight
00:07:57Welcome, Walter
00:07:58I don't play for a lot
00:08:00I don't play for a lot
00:08:00Okay
00:08:01Jake Paulman that's playing for Santa
00:08:03Who else?
00:08:03Who else?
00:08:05I'll play for the bunny
00:08:06Okay
00:08:06Bethany's playing for the bunny
00:08:08Who you did once beat in a dance battle
00:08:10On the previous show
00:08:10And he violated you
00:08:11Okay
00:08:12Who else?
00:08:13Still, who do you want to play with?
00:08:15Right here
00:08:16Okay
00:08:16Headband
00:08:17Still's got headband
00:08:18Human fish
00:08:18You can only point towards someone
00:08:19Who?
00:08:20Pajamas
00:08:21Oh, pajamas
00:08:21Okay, who should I
00:08:22Who wants me to play for them?
00:08:24I'm going to
00:08:24Okay, right here
00:08:26Right back there
00:08:26You got your first hand up
00:08:27Mimi
00:08:27How are you?
00:08:28Okay, so let's do it
00:08:29Before that
00:08:29The number should be up on your screen
00:08:31Call in
00:08:32Let us know if you think
00:08:33Random Gene is still random
00:08:34Let us know if you're a musician
00:08:36And also
00:08:37On Monday
00:08:39I did a stand-up comedy set
00:08:40And then a guy wrote a letter
00:08:42To the UCB theater
00:08:43And complained
00:08:44And said I scared him
00:08:45Because I said
00:08:46I want anybody who's wearing flip-flops
00:08:47Should die
00:08:48And he said I scared him
00:08:49And I got reprimanded
00:08:50For saying that
00:08:51So call in tonight
00:08:52We also want to hear
00:08:53What's the worst thing
00:08:54You ever got reprimanded for
00:08:55At your job?
00:08:56What's the worst
00:08:56Your boss ever scolded you?
00:08:58What's the best way
00:08:59You ever quit a job?
00:08:59We want to know all that stuff
00:09:00So call us up
00:09:01We've got the topic on the table
00:09:02We're looking for musicians
00:09:03Let's also go ahead
00:09:04Random Gene
00:09:05First question
00:09:06Something someone should know about you
00:09:08We'll all try to answer
00:09:10Okay
00:09:11One of the questions is
00:09:14Name one of my favorite places
00:09:16To brunch in Manhattan
00:09:17One of Random Gene's favorite places
00:09:20To brunch in Manhattan
00:09:22Randomly randomness
00:09:24Randomly randomness
00:09:25Randomly randomness
00:09:26Randomly randomness
00:09:27Okay
00:09:27I'm going to go ahead and say
00:09:33There's a place on 7th Avenue
00:09:35I've only walked past it
00:09:35I think it has a funny name
00:09:36It's called Nooch
00:09:37You know I like to eat at that place
00:09:40Nooch
00:09:40Okay
00:09:41Who else has an answer?
00:09:42I got an answer
00:09:43Okay
00:09:44Sarah Jessica Parker's fire escape
00:09:46Okay
00:09:48No
00:09:48Wrong
00:09:49What else?
00:09:50It looks like the human fish just says
00:09:53The city
00:09:54That's too ambiguous
00:09:56Too vague
00:09:57Technically correct
00:09:58You went the cliff clavin on Jeopardy route
00:10:00Unfortunately
00:10:01Way too broad
00:10:03Who else?
00:10:04Bethany your answer
00:10:05Bagel Maven
00:10:06Bagel Maven?
00:10:06No
00:10:07No okay
00:10:07That's a plug
00:10:08Phil
00:10:09It's a place called Jane
00:10:11Jane
00:10:11Actually that's one of my favorites
00:10:12All right
00:10:16You just want to plug your head in
00:10:17That's a house
00:10:19I love that place
00:10:20All right
00:10:20So Jake Fogin
00:10:21That's your answer
00:10:22And then I cannot believe
00:10:22Anyone got anything right
00:10:24I actually disqualified myself
00:10:25From this
00:10:26Because Jake Fogin
00:10:26Doesn't brunch
00:10:27Awesome
00:10:29Okay
00:10:30Congratulations
00:10:31Boom boom boom
00:10:33Boom boom boom
00:10:35Look at that
00:10:36Hold on
00:10:37You've got to show up
00:10:38To the camera
00:10:39Heading girl
00:10:39You just want yourself
00:10:40Three shower caps
00:10:42What's that?
00:10:49Jackie
00:10:49Yeah
00:10:50Oh you're Jackie
00:10:51We're going to go in your house
00:10:52Yeah
00:10:53How are you Jackie?
00:10:54Yeah
00:10:54We'll stop calling your headband
00:10:55And call you the girl
00:10:56Whose house we will soon invade
00:10:57And also
00:10:58Yeah
00:10:58It got stabby that time
00:11:00Yeah yeah yeah
00:11:00We remember that story
00:11:01From Ask Gap
00:11:01Let's go ahead
00:11:02Do we have a caller
00:11:03We should get to our first caller
00:11:04Right
00:11:04Caller you're on the air
00:11:05Welcome to the Chris Gether show
00:11:06You have to turn down your TV
00:11:10Caller
00:11:10The very first call
00:11:18Got the awkward song
00:11:19Therefore you got the awkward dance
00:11:21Oh hello
00:11:22Yeah alright
00:11:23Hi hold on
00:11:25I can't hear any of you guys
00:11:26Yeah cause you gotta turn down your TV
00:11:28We already have been having this conversation with you
00:11:32Alright
00:11:35Thank you for the call
00:11:36Caller
00:11:37Thank you for trying
00:11:38We're going to have to move on
00:11:39We gotta move on
00:11:41Let's go ahead
00:11:41Let's get to our second caller
00:11:42Where will people learn
00:11:43I mean really
00:11:44There's been years
00:11:45Of this
00:11:46Let's go ahead
00:11:46Let's get one caller
00:11:48Caller you are on the Chris Gether show
00:11:50Alright let's move on from the calls
00:11:54We gotta figure out the call issue
00:11:55In the meantime
00:11:56Very special announcement
00:11:57Get off the phone
00:11:58Get off the phone
00:12:00You only answer when it's obtrusive dancing
00:12:03You never answer when I have to say I do
00:12:05Okay
00:12:06Very big announcement
00:12:07There is a new character
00:12:09On the Chris Gether show
00:12:10He's making his debut right now
00:12:12Big time stuff
00:12:13I have always wanted there to be a mascot
00:12:15For the Chris Gether show
00:12:16It's a dream of mine
00:12:18We got enough bullshit going on
00:12:20Who has time to organize that
00:12:21This guy emailed me
00:12:22He said
00:12:22My name is Gethy
00:12:24I encapsulate the spirit
00:12:25Of the Chris Gether show
00:12:27You want to come on your show
00:12:28Get your crowd riled up
00:12:29I'll be your mascot
00:12:30So ladies and gentlemen
00:12:31For the first time ever
00:12:32Let's have a big round of applause
00:12:34For Gethy
00:12:35Ready, Gethy, go
00:12:40Ready, Gethy, go
00:12:43Ready, ready, Gethy, Gethy
00:12:46Go
00:12:47Alright look at this fun guy
00:12:52How you doing Gethy?
00:12:54What the fuck?
00:12:54What the fuck?
00:12:55What the fuck?
00:12:56What the fuck?
00:12:57What the fuck?
00:12:57What the fuck?
00:12:57What the fuck?
00:12:58Oh my god
00:12:59What the fuck is money?
00:13:00What's going on?
00:13:01You should stop this
00:13:02Man instantly killed the mascot
00:13:05Of the Gethy show
00:13:06He spit on him
00:13:07He spit on him
00:13:08We don't even know who Gethy is
00:13:10Wait, Gethy is killed?
00:13:12He got murdered already?
00:13:13A man instantly stabbed Gethy
00:13:16That happened so fast
00:13:18Gethy, what did you do to that man?
00:13:20Why do you owe him money?
00:13:21Wait, did we already lose the mascot?
00:13:23I think Gethy's dead
00:13:25Why didn't anybody stop that?
00:13:29That guy owns a bongo
00:13:32That's how he got in here
00:13:34He just came down
00:13:35Lou Reed, if you come down here
00:13:36Please don't stab anyone
00:13:38That happened so fast
00:13:39Is Gethy dead?
00:13:40I don't know, he's moving a little bit
00:13:41Gethy, are you alive?
00:13:42Can we clap him?
00:13:45Gethy's clinging to life
00:13:46He's whimpering
00:13:46We should get some
00:13:47Gethy's CPR
00:13:49I don't even know if calling a doctor would help
00:13:51Yeah
00:13:52Maybe if that rabbit fucks him in the ass
00:13:54If we can get the rabbit
00:13:56Would you be willing to do CPR on Gethy for the rest of the show?
00:13:58All right, the guy dressed as a rabbit is going to try to save the life of our mascot
00:14:02All right
00:14:03All right
00:14:04Gethy almost fell through that stage and died
00:14:07Let's go ahead
00:14:08Don't get distracted by it though
00:14:10Random Jean trivia contest
00:14:12Next question, Random Jean
00:14:14Phil Jackson is one for one
00:14:16Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:14:17Yes
00:14:17Okay
00:14:18What is
00:14:21No, who is Jean's favorite British comedic trio?
00:14:25Comedic trio?
00:14:26Yes
00:14:26Who is a British comedic trio?
00:14:38British comedic trio
00:14:40It's pretty obvious
00:14:41Yeah, the
00:14:42Okay, when you got your answers, yell them out
00:14:51The Mighty Boosh and then also Steve Coogan
00:14:55Actually, I do like them, but it's not the right answer
00:14:59Okay
00:15:00Mighty Boosh is an answer to one of the other questions
00:15:02Fish, let's get that answer up high so they can close up on it
00:15:05Three guys from England
00:15:07Again, human fish
00:15:09You're going really way too broad, I think
00:15:11Way too broad and vague with your answers
00:15:13I have AdFab and Sarah Jessica Parker
00:15:16I'm going to say the Shaun of the Dead guys
00:15:20No
00:15:20Okay
00:15:21So far, Jake's been the most accurate
00:15:23The Chris Gethard show in the UK
00:15:25Doesn't exist
00:15:27I think that leaves us
00:15:29Phil
00:15:30No, I have a T more, yes
00:15:32Three random words that you clearly wrote in a panic
00:15:36One vaguely related to Jake
00:15:37I got scared, man
00:15:38I got scared
00:15:39Correct answer
00:15:40Yeah, the correct answer is Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Carl Putkinson
00:15:44I thought that you had a name
00:15:45Oh, yeah
00:15:45I didn't know we helped you
00:15:46Yeah, okay
00:15:47All right
00:15:47All right
00:15:48That's fine
00:15:49Let's go back to the callers
00:15:50Let's get a call on the line
00:15:52Welcome to the Chris Gethard show
00:15:54Caller
00:15:54You are on the air
00:15:55How can we help you?
00:15:56Hi, this is Rachel
00:15:58Hi, Rachel
00:15:59I really like your shirt
00:16:01Oh, thank you
00:16:02Yeah, it says
00:16:03Fuck Ruckers
00:16:04I should have gone to Pace
00:16:05Hey
00:16:05I go to Pace
00:16:07I know a lot of kids from Pace have been coming to the show
00:16:09I think you might be one of them, Rachel
00:16:10I think I am
00:16:12You guys have been coming to the studio audience a lot and then supporting the show on on Twitter
00:16:16So it makes me feel like I would have fit in a lot better at Pace than I do that shitty-ass Ruckers
00:16:21I think so, I definitely think so
00:16:23Okay, well I'm glad you enjoyed the shout-out
00:16:25How else can we help you tonight?
00:16:27I want to say that I think Random Jean is still random
00:16:30Wow, okay
00:16:31Thank you
00:16:32All right
00:16:33She wants to be random
00:16:34She doesn't want familiarity
00:16:36No, because she knows the second she's familiar, she's off
00:16:39She's got to maintain her mystique or else she's out of here
00:16:44Rachel, anything else tonight?
00:16:47Not really, no
00:16:48All right
00:16:48Bad job experiences?
00:16:50Yeah, any bad job experiences you've ever had?
00:16:53Not really
00:16:54My job is pretty boring
00:16:56I don't
00:16:57Okay, fair, fair
00:16:58Is there a trash truck outside your window backing up?
00:17:03Rachel, thanks for the call
00:17:04Very nice, thank you for your support
00:17:06We'll talk to you soon
00:17:07Human Fish, what's on your mind right now?
00:17:09Christopher Reeves versus George Reeves in a wheelchair
00:17:13Christopher Reeves versus George Reeves in a wheelchair
00:17:17Who wins?
00:17:19Christopher Reeves
00:17:20Christopher Reeves
00:17:20Yeah
00:17:21That's good
00:17:21Can I ask the human fish something?
00:17:24Yeah
00:17:25You know he probably can't answer
00:17:27No, I understand
00:17:28I just want to
00:17:29Just in honor of Watch the Throne
00:17:32Being a big record right now
00:17:34Yes, Jay-Z and Kanye
00:17:34That's my question
00:17:36Jay-Z or Kanye?
00:17:38Wow
00:17:38Jay-Z versus Kanye
00:17:41Jay-Z
00:17:42Yeah
00:17:42Yeah
00:17:42Immediate
00:17:43I do like trying to sow the seeds of descent
00:17:51Yeah
00:17:51In duos via the human fish
00:17:53Yeah
00:17:53I do think that's smart
00:17:55Gephy is rolling over
00:17:56Gephy
00:17:56Oh, Gephy
00:17:57The rabbit
00:17:58Rabbit
00:17:59Save Gephy
00:18:00This is just bizarre
00:18:03This is just bizarre
00:18:05Okay, let's go ahead
00:18:07We have a very special guest with us tonight
00:18:08Uh, I don't know how much he wants me to say
00:18:11But, uh, rabbit
00:18:12Let's make some room
00:18:13Because we have
00:18:14Coming to the stage
00:18:15Presidential candidate
00:18:17Conor Ratliff
00:18:18Ladies and gentlemen
00:18:18Welcome back
00:18:27Hello
00:18:28Hello, America
00:18:29Hello, ladies and gentlemen
00:18:30I'm very excited and happy to be back here
00:18:32At the Chris Gethard Show
00:18:33This week is a turning point in our campaign
00:18:36A crisis
00:18:38A scandal
00:18:39Can bring down a presidential candidate
00:18:42Gary Hart
00:18:43Was en route to the White House
00:18:45When a sex scandal
00:18:46Ended his political career
00:18:48But other candidates
00:18:50Such as Bill Clinton
00:18:51And Barack Obama
00:18:52Grew stronger
00:18:53Through the way they handled these crises
00:18:54The Conor Ratliff
00:18:56For President campaign
00:18:57Is in the middle
00:18:58Of just such a scandal
00:18:59This week
00:19:00Please roll our latest ad
00:19:02Mmm
00:19:04When I began my campaign
00:19:12For the presidency
00:19:12I made a statement
00:19:14That at the time
00:19:15Was entirely truthful
00:19:16I am 35 years old
00:19:19Thirty-five
00:19:20That's how old I am
00:19:22Thirty-five
00:19:23That's how old I am
00:19:24Thirty-five
00:19:25That's how old I am
00:19:26Several days ago
00:19:29I experienced a birthday
00:19:31I am now 36 years old
00:19:34Many of you are disappointed by this
00:19:38But I ask you
00:19:39What is the difference between 35 and 36?
00:19:42The difference is one
00:19:44As in
00:19:45Hey, who won the presidency?
00:19:46Conor Ratliff did
00:19:48And he's only 37
00:19:49What's the difference between 35 and 37?
00:19:54Two
00:19:54As in
00:19:55Too bad everybody else was running
00:19:57You lost
00:19:58Conor Ratliff is president now
00:19:59Maybe that sounds like a bunch of malarkey
00:20:02Or like another politician making excuses
00:20:05This campaign was never about who is or who isn't 35 years old
00:20:09It's about me
00:20:11And how I'm old enough to be president
00:20:13My name is Conor Ratliff
00:20:16And I'm 36 years old
00:20:18That's old enough to be president
00:20:20Paid for by citizens for a president in his mid to late 30s
00:20:22Because I'm old enough
00:20:24But not too old
00:20:25Thank you
00:20:31Thank you
00:20:32All right
00:20:32I guess Conor, time will tell if America chooses to trust you again
00:20:36I still feel 35
00:20:38And if I could have stayed 35 forever, I would have done it
00:20:41I would have done it for the American people
00:20:43But I live in the real world, not a dream world
00:20:46And I want to really be the president
00:20:48If you don't want to vote for me, I don't want your vote
00:20:51But if you do want to vote for me, I do want your vote
00:20:55All right
00:20:57Conor Ratliff
00:20:57Thank you
00:20:58I just make a suggestion
00:21:03He should maybe get a new voiceover guy for the end of his campaign commercials
00:21:08Because it was really scary
00:21:10Then he comes in, he's like
00:21:11And it sounded like Tyler the Creator's therapist
00:21:15Which is just scary
00:21:16And I don't know, it might turn people off
00:21:19It's going to change
00:21:20It's going to be paid by for the citizens of a 36-year-old president
00:21:24I don't care what the statement is
00:21:25It's the voice that was frightening
00:21:27It was demonic
00:21:28If you were paying attention, Random Gene
00:21:30You would have heard that it changed
00:21:31It did change, Random Gene
00:21:32Jesus Christ, Random Gene
00:21:35Speaking of you, Random Gene
00:21:36Let's go ahead and let's get another question in
00:21:38On the Random Gene Trivia Challenge
00:21:39Before we do, I just want to reiterate
00:21:41Musicians
00:21:42Grab your instruments
00:21:44Jump in a cab
00:21:4559th between 10th and 11th
00:21:47Come down to our studio
00:21:48We want Random Musicians
00:21:49Playing music with our friend Phil
00:21:51At the end of the night
00:21:52So please get down here
00:21:53If you're a musician
00:21:53Come on down, set up
00:21:55Let's get it going
00:21:56So Random Gene
00:21:56Okay
00:21:57The next question
00:21:58But not Don Henley
00:21:59If you're Don Henley
00:22:00And you're in a cab
00:22:01Forget it
00:22:02Nobody from the Eagles
00:22:03Nobody from the Eagles, man
00:22:04Nobody
00:22:05Nobody from the Eagles
00:22:06What other bands don't we want?
00:22:09Aerosmith
00:22:10Aerosmith
00:22:11Stay out, man
00:22:12Bruno Mars
00:22:13Just whatevs
00:22:14I don't want to say them
00:22:15I'll go ahead and say Bruno Mars
00:22:17Two doors down
00:22:18Can stay three doors away
00:22:19Whoa
00:22:19Anybody else want to slam a band?
00:22:23Aerosmith
00:22:24What's that?
00:22:25I'm okay with Aerosmith
00:22:25Aerosmith is the worst band
00:22:27In human history
00:22:28I like some Aerosmith
00:22:29I just don't feel like
00:22:30Seeing them tonight
00:22:31Yeah, man
00:22:31I just gotta stay away
00:22:33They're great
00:22:34Video
00:22:34So you spent the whole day
00:22:36Just watching pornography
00:22:37In a museum with Random Gene
00:22:39Um, not the whole day
00:22:42Okay
00:22:45Just like half a day?
00:22:49Stefan
00:22:50Did you know any of the
00:22:51Did you know any of the answers
00:22:53To any of these trivia questions?
00:22:54Yeah, did you know the things
00:22:55Have you been watching?
00:22:56Did you know what Gene
00:22:57Was talking about tonight?
00:22:58Um, no, honestly
00:23:00Wow
00:23:01Adley
00:23:02Gene might be trying to
00:23:04Give us some heavyweight questions
00:23:06To stay on the show
00:23:07The next question you give us
00:23:09Make it a softball
00:23:10Okay
00:23:10In fact, Stefan
00:23:11Why don't
00:23:12You can stay on the line right now
00:23:13Are you still there?
00:23:14Yeah
00:23:15Next question
00:23:16Random Gene's gonna ask
00:23:18After we all answer
00:23:20You give your answer
00:23:21We'll see if you know it
00:23:21And it'll let us know
00:23:22How much Random Gene
00:23:23Is trying to tweak this thing
00:23:25In her direction
00:23:25Cool?
00:23:26So stay on the line
00:23:27Random Gene
00:23:28What's the next question?
00:23:29Okay
00:23:29Uh, last year
00:23:30Random Gene spent
00:23:31The entire summer
00:23:32Away from Manhattan
00:23:33What city and state
00:23:34Did she go to?
00:23:36Hey
00:23:36Uh, oh
00:23:37She said
00:23:39Fuck
00:23:40Ah, fuck
00:23:46I know the state, Gene
00:23:49But I got
00:23:50You gotta be the right city
00:23:51I know
00:23:52I got the wrong city
00:23:53I think the city
00:23:54I'm gonna say
00:23:54Is gonna piss you off too
00:23:55I'm gonna say
00:23:57Palo Alto, California
00:23:58No, very close though
00:24:00But that one gets mad
00:24:01It's been pretty
00:24:02It's winning
00:24:03Like, it's close
00:24:04Okay
00:24:04I said
00:24:05Facebook Town, California
00:24:07That's Palo Alto
00:24:08That's Palo Alto
00:24:09We had the same answer
00:24:10The human fish says
00:24:12USA
00:24:13Parentheses
00:24:14America
00:24:15Human fish
00:24:17Incorrect
00:24:17Once again
00:24:18Who else?
00:24:20I just started
00:24:20By Baltimore
00:24:21But I only got
00:24:22The bow part
00:24:23Okay, so Phil
00:24:24You freaked out
00:24:25You panicked again
00:24:25You drew a cube though
00:24:27You did draw
00:24:27A really cool cube
00:24:28Okay, Jake, your answer
00:24:30I wrote San Bernardino, California
00:24:32Actually, San Bernardino
00:24:33Is in Southern California
00:24:34Nowhere near Palo Alto
00:24:35Ooh
00:24:36Random
00:24:38Jesus gave it to you, Jake
00:24:39This wasn't random
00:24:40Geography trivia facts
00:24:42Bethany, you were the last one
00:24:43I just said Los Angeles
00:24:44It's not
00:24:44It's wherever Apple is
00:24:46Yeah, it's in Cupertino
00:24:47Oh, Cupertino
00:24:47Yeah, Cupertino
00:24:48Cupertino, California
00:24:48I can only think of Facebook
00:24:49But you hate Facebook
00:24:50Yeah, I hate Facebook
00:24:51Fuck Facebook
00:24:52Yeah, I gotta hear full about that
00:24:53Before the show
00:24:54Random Dean, Will
00:24:56Anybody wants to hang out
00:24:57After the show
00:24:58Random Dean will pull you aside
00:24:59And tell you a lot about
00:25:00How she doesn't like Facebook
00:25:01So, Stefan
00:25:02Did you know the answer to that?
00:25:04I did know that she was in Cupertino
00:25:06Oh, we answered it before
00:25:07Okay
00:25:07Yeah, Random Dean
00:25:08You're not trying to rook us
00:25:09So, Stefan, thank you for the call
00:25:10Thank you
00:25:11Okay
00:25:11We now know that Random Dean
00:25:13Is a pervert
00:25:13All right
00:25:15Do we have a caller on the line?
00:25:16Welcome to the Chris Gethardt Show
00:25:18Hello
00:25:18Are you there?
00:25:23Hello?
00:25:24Yeah, what's up?
00:25:25You're on the air
00:25:25Oh, yes
00:25:26Hi
00:25:26What's up?
00:25:28Not much
00:25:28What's up with you?
00:25:30Nothing
00:25:30Uh, I'm just
00:25:32Doi doi
00:25:34Doi doi
00:25:36That's funny
00:25:37Is that really
00:25:38That was the like
00:25:38That was the exciting
00:25:39Phone call?
00:25:40Oh, this is a weird night
00:25:42With the calls
00:25:42Let's move on to another one
00:25:43Welcome to the Chris Gethardt Show
00:25:44Caller, are you there?
00:25:46What's up?
00:25:49Hello
00:25:49Yes, what's going on?
00:25:50Who's this?
00:25:52Chris, this is Rita
00:25:53I've got to say
00:25:57I'm really
00:25:57Disappointed in the shirt, mate
00:25:59You're disappointed
00:26:01In the show tonight
00:26:02Which shirt?
00:26:03No, the shirt
00:26:04Oh, yes
00:26:04You went to Rutgers as well
00:26:06Did you like Rutgers?
00:26:07Yes
00:26:07You enjoyed Rutgers?
00:26:10Yeah, I went to Rutgers
00:26:11Yeah, I didn't like it
00:26:12Oh, that's unfortunate
00:26:14I just didn't get
00:26:15The fuck Rutgers
00:26:17It's pretty serious
00:26:18But I guess I'll let
00:26:20Bygones be bygones
00:26:21This being sort of
00:26:23A random gene show
00:26:24Right now
00:26:25Yeah
00:26:25Can you just say
00:26:26Bygones be bygones again?
00:26:28It sounds cool
00:26:28Your accent is awesome
00:26:29I've got to say
00:26:31I did say this
00:26:32Because random gene said
00:26:34She would see
00:26:34Her English accent
00:26:35On the show
00:26:36If I called in
00:26:37Yeah
00:26:38Hello, hi
00:26:41How are you doing?
00:26:42Are you lovely?
00:26:43I have a question
00:26:44What?
00:26:44You spent some serious time
00:26:46In like England, right?
00:26:47Probably, yeah
00:26:47You've been talking about
00:26:48British stuff
00:26:48I really like England
00:26:50When you were in England
00:26:51This is fucking weird
00:26:52Did you adapt
00:26:54A British accent
00:26:55Like after a while
00:26:56Were you there
00:26:57And like hanging out
00:26:58And all of a sudden
00:26:58You were British
00:26:59I can actually put this
00:27:00On and off
00:27:01I can be Yank
00:27:02I can be British
00:27:03Like that
00:27:04How long
00:27:05Do you live in England?
00:27:06Wow
00:27:06Hello, hi
00:27:09How can you do that?
00:27:10That's okay
00:27:11How was that accent, Rita?
00:27:15Was it a good accent
00:27:15Or was it shit?
00:27:16No, that was not good
00:27:18Yeah
00:27:19Because I
00:27:21I love
00:27:21There was a lot of effort
00:27:23There was a lot of effort
00:27:24But yeah
00:27:25You know
00:27:26Is it really shit?
00:27:28Keep watching those shows, yeah?
00:27:29You really think it's shit?
00:27:31It's football and shit
00:27:32Really?
00:27:33No, yes
00:27:34I do
00:27:35This is a weird fight
00:27:38Yeah
00:27:38It's a weird fight
00:27:40Gene, sorry
00:27:41I didn't mean to make you upset
00:27:42I know you love being English
00:27:44We have a person with a real British accent
00:27:46Yelling at you about your fake British accent
00:27:48That you're currently doing on public access TV
00:27:51And there's a guy dressed up like a hangman
00:27:53All right, Rita
00:27:55Thank you so much for the call
00:27:57We want to reiterate
00:27:58Musicians
00:27:58Get down here
00:27:59Grab your instruments
00:28:00Jump in a cab
00:28:0159th between 10th and 11th
00:28:02We want you to play out our show tonight
00:28:04In the meantime
00:28:04Caller, welcome to the show
00:28:06You're on the Chris Getter Show
00:28:06How can we help you?
00:28:08Hey, how's it going?
00:28:09It's pretty good
00:28:10I think I know who this is
00:28:12Who?
00:28:14I think I know who you are
00:28:15What do you have to say to us?
00:28:17Oh, I just wanted to say
00:28:18First of all
00:28:19I think Rick
00:28:19Pretty damn hot
00:28:21All right
00:28:22Out of the randomness and everything
00:28:24I really like it
00:28:25I'm really enjoying it
00:28:27I didn't know she could talk in an accent like that
00:28:29And it makes me even like it a little bit more now
00:28:31What's wrong with the girl in the middle
00:28:33The sourpuss over there
00:28:34With the sweater
00:28:36Oh, Shannon?
00:28:37Yeah
00:28:37The one with the sweater
00:28:40Yeah, you
00:28:41You
00:28:41Wait, wait
00:28:43Bottom row
00:28:44Bottom row or top row?
00:28:45I can't
00:28:45I'm the bottom
00:28:46Why can't you ever just smile, bitch?
00:28:49Wow
00:28:49This guy's saying shit
00:28:51And you look like you're
00:28:51Oh, shit
00:28:52Oh, shit
00:28:53Everybody back up
00:28:53Everybody back up
00:28:55I know disrespect
00:28:56I just want to see you smile, you know
00:28:58What's up with the sourpuss all the time?
00:29:05Wow
00:29:05All right, God bless you anyways
00:29:07God bless you
00:29:08You'll find me
00:29:09Where are you
00:29:09Caller, where are you from?
00:29:11I'm from Queens
00:29:12No shit
00:29:14Shannon lives
00:29:15Shannon lives in Queens as well
00:29:17What is it?
00:29:19I'm not interested
00:29:20I'm interested in random Jean over there
00:29:21I just don't worry about her
00:29:23Okay
00:29:23So you got the hots for random Jean
00:29:25Don't worry about me
00:29:27You may be interested in random Jean
00:29:30But Shannon's in your life now
00:29:31Come down here next week
00:29:39Whoever the fuck you are
00:29:40Caller, if you want to come next week
00:29:42I'll shoot Christopher an email
00:29:45And perhaps I will
00:29:46Yeah
00:29:46Shoot him an email
00:29:48Shoot Christopher an email
00:29:52Christopher
00:29:52Christopher
00:29:53Christopher
00:29:54Thank you for the call
00:29:54Great call
00:29:55Completely
00:29:56Thank you so much for calling
00:29:59In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen
00:30:01Each week
00:30:02We have a collective of filmmakers and animators
00:30:05Who take your suggestions on Twitter
00:30:07You can send your suggestions to them
00:30:08Tweet them
00:30:09At Lone Corn Meal
00:30:10They take your suggestions
00:30:12Each week they turn them into an animated short
00:30:14Short film
00:30:15What have you
00:30:16This week the suggestion was
00:30:18A very long day
00:30:20Is that correct?
00:30:21A very long day
00:30:22Let's go ahead and see
00:30:23What the Lone Corn Meal machine
00:30:25Has come up with
00:30:25For us this week
00:30:26Who knows what will happen
00:30:37I haven't a clue
00:30:40No one knows what will happen next
00:30:44It all depends on you
00:30:46Can't see round the corner
00:30:49When I'm going round the bend
00:30:52No one knows what will happen
00:30:55Or if this madness will ever end
00:31:03Alright, alright, here we go
00:31:05Let's do this
00:31:07I'm gonna
00:31:09This is it
00:31:10I'm gonna set the world record
00:31:12For sitting in one spot
00:31:14For a whole day
00:31:16Not doing nothing
00:31:18Just looking out the window
00:31:19Yeah
00:31:21I can do it
00:31:22I can do it
00:31:23I can do it
00:31:24It's gonna be easy
00:31:25And then I'll be a world record set
00:31:27Get my name in the paper
00:31:28On the internet
00:31:29Yeah
00:31:30Here I go
00:31:33Easy
00:31:36Whoa
00:31:38Hey Reggie
00:31:39Hey Reggie
00:31:41Reggie
00:31:42Reggie
00:31:43Oh damn man
00:31:45Reggie didn't hear me
00:31:46Could've got me some snacks
00:31:48Something to eat
00:31:50I don't know
00:31:51Oh man
00:31:55This is boring
00:31:56This is hard work
00:31:59Sitting in one spot
00:32:00Doing nothing
00:32:01But I'm gonna do it
00:32:03When I'm done
00:32:05People are gonna be like
00:32:05Man
00:32:06How'd you do that Lenny
00:32:08I'm gonna be like
00:32:09I just did it
00:32:10I don't know
00:32:10I guess I'm
00:32:11I guess I'm special
00:32:12Oh man
00:32:16Look at those trees
00:32:17Trees
00:32:19Trees
00:32:20Bees
00:32:22Skis
00:32:23I wonder how many words
00:32:25Rhyme with trees
00:32:26These
00:32:28Sneeze
00:32:30Please
00:32:31Freeze
00:32:33Cheese
00:32:34Mees
00:32:36Hees
00:32:38Shees
00:32:39Knees
00:32:42Grease
00:32:44Splees
00:32:48Mees
00:32:50That's it
00:32:53Guess that's all the words
00:32:55That rhyme with
00:32:55Trees I guess
00:32:57Oh man
00:32:59This is hard
00:33:00This is a stupid idea
00:33:02Why'd I do this
00:33:03I didn't even get anyone
00:33:05To monitor me
00:33:06This won't even count
00:33:07I wasted my whole day off
00:33:11Hey look at that bird
00:33:14Look at it go
00:33:15Oh what can we do
00:33:18You can be Napoleon
00:33:19And I'll be a Waterloo
00:33:20We'll be back to fight again
00:33:22From May
00:33:23Till then we'll just be
00:33:24On our way
00:33:25Ladies and gentlemen
00:33:27Validates the reasons
00:33:28You were fired
00:33:28Oh yeah completely
00:33:30I mean I'm not
00:33:31Blaming them at all
00:33:32Is that your fact
00:33:33I'm terrified of you
00:33:35Just in general
00:33:36Now
00:33:37Yeah
00:33:38Alright well thanks
00:33:40For the call Greg
00:33:40Thank you very much
00:33:41We'll talk to you soon
00:33:43Yeah
00:33:43What
00:33:46Oh
00:33:47Oh he said later
00:33:49Okay that's cool
00:33:50Another caller
00:33:50You're on the air
00:33:51Welcome to the Chris Gethard Show
00:33:52How can we help you
00:33:53Hello
00:33:54Yeah who's this
00:33:55Hi this is Sarah Rose
00:33:57Okay what's going on
00:33:59How can we help you tonight
00:34:00Hi I just wanted to call in
00:34:02To my nest last week
00:34:04And MJ Chris was there
00:34:07And I had a weird story to share
00:34:09Um it's a whole new week
00:34:11Yeah we'll let you get into it
00:34:12But I will
00:34:13I promise you that
00:34:14Okay what's the
00:34:15What's the story
00:34:16Well I went to his show once
00:34:19And he was standing up
00:34:21And planning autographs
00:34:22So I waited in line
00:34:23And then as he was walking away
00:34:26Like in a purring manner
00:34:27He stepped on my toe
00:34:29And like it broke
00:34:31Really badly
00:34:32Yeah
00:34:33MC Chris broke your toe
00:34:34And the next weekend
00:34:35I had to run a checkmate
00:34:36And my coach now hates MC Chris
00:34:40And he's expecting apologies from him
00:34:42Which is kind of weird
00:34:44Are you trying to serve MC Chris
00:34:46With a subpoena for a lawsuit
00:34:47We will let MC Chris know
00:34:51That he owes you an apology
00:34:52I'll email him tonight
00:34:52In fact
00:34:53Thank you for the call
00:34:54We'll make sure
00:34:55I said thank you for the call
00:34:57We'll make sure MC Chris knows
00:34:58I'll email him tonight
00:34:59And tell him
00:35:00I'm not even going to show tomorrow
00:35:02So I'm hoping to see him
00:35:04So maybe there's not many of us
00:35:05What's your name
00:35:06What's your name
00:35:07Sarah Rose
00:35:08Okay
00:35:09I'll email him tonight
00:35:10And tell him to apologize
00:35:11He will apologize
00:35:12Yeah he will
00:35:13How should I have my audio tomorrow
00:35:15Sounds good
00:35:15I'll email him tonight
00:35:16Thank you for the call
00:35:17I'll take care of that
00:35:18Chris Gethardt show
00:35:18We'll get things done for you
00:35:20Thank you very much for the call
00:35:22Another caller on the line
00:35:26Caller welcome to the Chris Gethardt show
00:35:27How can we help you tonight
00:35:28Hi this is Alyssa
00:35:30Hey it's Alyssa
00:35:31Check it in
00:35:31Check it in with Alyssa
00:35:33Check it in with Alyssa
00:35:36Alyssa what's up
00:35:37Alyssa's 15
00:35:39She calls into the show
00:35:40She lets us know what it's like being 15
00:35:41Ask us questions about comedy
00:35:43Alyssa what's on your mind tonight
00:35:44Well you were talking about
00:35:47Wash the throne before
00:35:48Yes
00:35:49And we haven't had
00:35:50We just got power today
00:35:51But we haven't had power
00:35:52For the past couple days
00:35:54That shit cray
00:35:54So all I've been listening to
00:35:56Is on repeat
00:35:56That's good
00:35:57And Alyssa before you can
00:35:58Before you can continue
00:35:59Can I just say
00:36:00Shannon O'Neill
00:36:02You want me to tell her to
00:36:03No
00:36:03If you say anything inappropriate
00:36:06To this girl tonight
00:36:07I'm going to be
00:36:07Look at me
00:36:08I won't say anything
00:36:10I won't say anything inappropriate
00:36:11Nothing about masturbation
00:36:13Gene
00:36:13Gene
00:36:15If I was going to say
00:36:17Go ahead and flick your bean
00:36:19Shannon
00:36:19Let me say that on my own volition
00:36:21Shannon stop
00:36:22You don't tell me that I can't say
00:36:23Flick that bean
00:36:25To Alyssa
00:36:26Alyssa
00:36:27Don't tell me Gene
00:36:29What I can and cannot do
00:36:31You don't tell me
00:36:33Stop
00:36:34Flick that bean
00:36:36So Alyssa
00:36:38How have you been enjoying
00:36:41Watch the throne
00:36:42What?
00:36:43How have you been enjoying
00:36:44Watch the throne
00:36:45Um
00:36:47It's been great
00:36:48I
00:36:48It's
00:36:49It's so good
00:36:51Oh god
00:36:52I'm a lot like Jay-Z
00:36:54Don't you think?
00:36:56I think we're all
00:36:57A little like Jay-Z
00:36:58But me more than other people
00:37:00So Alyssa
00:37:01You go back to school soon
00:37:02Huh?
00:37:03I was supposed to go tomorrow
00:37:04But it's been um
00:37:05It was rescheduled
00:37:07We're starting Tuesday
00:37:08So do you hate school
00:37:09Like everyone
00:37:09When it's like the week
00:37:10That school's supposed to start
00:37:11Are you like
00:37:12Fuck this man
00:37:13This sucks
00:37:13Yeah I have so much AP work
00:37:15I still need to do
00:37:16Oh
00:37:17I remember that man
00:37:18I remember that
00:37:20I'll tell you
00:37:21One of the best things
00:37:22I'll tell you some things
00:37:23I'm 31 years old
00:37:24And I'm doing this
00:37:25And it makes me very sad
00:37:26But one of the best things
00:37:28About being 31
00:37:29Is I don't have to go to school
00:37:31Yeah
00:37:31Well
00:37:32Here's the thing
00:37:33I'm 32
00:37:34And I didn't finish high school
00:37:37Because I started doing
00:37:38A public access show
00:37:40Out of my bedroom
00:37:41So you could stop
00:37:42You know
00:37:43Going to school
00:37:43And do that
00:37:44And then when you're 32
00:37:45You could do a public access show
00:37:48With Chris Gethard
00:37:49That's the greatest idea
00:37:52I've ever heard
00:37:53Don't do that
00:37:54Alyssa don't do that
00:37:56Alyssa
00:37:57What AP classes
00:37:58Do you have this semester?
00:37:59Um
00:38:01I have
00:38:02AP environmental science
00:38:04Which is stupid
00:38:05I took AP
00:38:06Flick that beam
00:38:07Shannon
00:38:07Shannon
00:38:10Advance place that beam
00:38:16All right
00:38:16Alyssa
00:38:18Yeah
00:38:19Anything else on your mind tonight?
00:38:21Again I am so sorry
00:38:22As always I am sorry
00:38:24Your nervous laughter
00:38:26Oh
00:38:26It fills my soul with dread
00:38:28I apologize
00:38:29I'm fine
00:38:30I'm always nervous
00:38:31Okay
00:38:32Anything else you want to talk about tonight?
00:38:33Because we've got to move on
00:38:34No no it's fine
00:38:35Thank you so much for the call
00:38:36Thank you
00:38:37All right
00:38:38Alyssa ladies and gentlemen
00:38:39All right
00:38:40So Random Gene
00:38:41We've got one more question from you
00:38:42And then we've got to swerve
00:38:44We've got to twist on this bit
00:38:45We've got to challenge for you
00:38:46So you give us one more question
00:38:48Okay
00:38:48Um
00:38:49Okay
00:38:51What is Gene's favorite movie of 2011?
00:38:54Gene's favorite movie of 2011
00:38:56It has to do with the water
00:39:06Well don't give clues after we all start writing
00:39:09I'm going to say X-Men First Class
00:39:15No
00:39:16Submarines in that movie
00:39:17Actually that's right
00:39:20Submarine
00:39:21Well there's no fact
00:39:23Wait that was
00:39:24Is that
00:39:24Is that the name of a movie?
00:39:27Yeah that's the name of the movie
00:39:27Submarine
00:39:28So it's not some weird sex video
00:39:30You made with Stefan
00:39:31Human Fish says
00:39:34Specific movie of 2011
00:39:36Parentheses water
00:39:37No human fish
00:39:40That's the closest
00:39:41Repeat the question
00:39:42Versus come up with an answer
00:39:44To the question
00:39:45Who wins?
00:39:45Come up with an answer
00:39:46To the question
00:39:47Next time you do that
00:39:48Because what you did
00:39:48Was repeat the question
00:39:49Well time
00:39:52Fire it
00:39:53So
00:39:53Perfectly timed slide whistle
00:39:55From Hallie
00:39:56Hallie
00:39:57Holy shit
00:40:01Hallie just murdered that slide whistle
00:40:04Anyone else?
00:40:04Answer
00:40:05I play submarine
00:40:06Okay
00:40:06Bethany just won a prize
00:40:09Who was your studio audience member?
00:40:10Anyone else?
00:40:11Flick that bean
00:40:12Shane
00:40:13Phil
00:40:14I'm a studio
00:40:14You're Phil?
00:40:15I just had bean town
00:40:16Bean town
00:40:16Okay so Bethany
00:40:18Who was your audience
00:40:20What's that?
00:40:21Suffering
00:40:22I didn't even hear of it
00:40:22Funny
00:40:22Rabbit you have won a prize
00:40:24Please come forward quickly
00:40:26It's a fucking British movie
00:40:27I just remembered
00:40:28It's a British movie
00:40:29Gene just moved to England
00:40:31One day I will
00:40:33So Rabbit you have won a prize
00:40:35Via Bethany
00:40:36Congratulations
00:40:36So happy
00:40:38Thank you for saving
00:40:40Gethy's life
00:40:40Oh look at this
00:40:41You won a stuffed bear
00:40:44And you also have Parkinson's
00:40:46We just learned about you Bunny
00:40:50Alright Bunny's creepy
00:40:53Thank you Bunny
00:40:54Your new name is Muhammad Bunny Ali
00:40:57Oh
00:40:58Muhammad Bunny Ali with the shakes
00:41:00Thank you
00:41:01You now have your own name
00:41:02That's terrible
00:41:02So Gene
00:41:02Bunny J Fox
00:41:04It is fair to say Gene
00:41:05That you have proven that you are indeed random Gene
00:41:08Jake you brought up the issue
00:41:09Will you now agree she is as random as ever
00:41:11If not more so
00:41:11She's fucking random dude
00:41:13Random human beings
00:41:14So Gene you get to stay on the show
00:41:15But
00:41:16Here's another thing about you
00:41:17Gene
00:41:18We're bringing this up on the air
00:41:20You have an ability to find out things about all of us
00:41:23Oh fuck yes
00:41:24Our email addresses
00:41:25You found out the human fish's email address
00:41:28Human fish's email address
00:41:28Just email them
00:41:29Human fish told me off camera
00:41:30Say
00:41:31I don't know how random Gene got my email address
00:41:33Random Gene
00:41:34Human fish
00:41:35True versus false
00:41:36True
00:41:37True
00:41:37Jake Fogel
00:41:39She called your house
00:41:40She called my house
00:41:40You put it on Twitter
00:41:41Well granted
00:41:42My own phone number is on Twitter
00:41:44Yes
00:41:44It's 646-484-5333
00:41:47You can call me
00:41:48But you left a very long detailed message
00:41:52About how you
00:41:54I'd come to UCB
00:41:55When you were 13
00:41:56Yeah I really liked it
00:41:57And I appreciate it
00:41:58And it's good
00:41:58This is a good thing about you
00:41:59It was a very
00:42:00But I did send Chris Guthrie to think
00:42:02Saying random Gene left me a voicemail
00:42:03And his response was
00:42:05You're fucking kidding me
00:42:06Yeah
00:42:06But I said no
00:42:07It was very sweet and stuff
00:42:09But it was
00:42:09You knew a lot
00:42:10You know a lot
00:42:11You do your research
00:42:11Just read my Wikipedia
00:42:12So Gene
00:42:13We've learned a lot about you tonight
00:42:14Now we want to put this on the table
00:42:16Over the coming weeks
00:42:17The Random Gene Stalking Challenge
00:42:20All of us on the panel
00:42:22Are going to offer up a fact
00:42:23Or a challenge to you
00:42:24Find this out about us
00:42:25We're going to see when you can do it
00:42:27Okay
00:42:27Future weeks
00:42:28You come back
00:42:28You let us know
00:42:29Okay
00:42:29The Random Gene Stalking Challenge
00:42:32How spying is Random Gene
00:42:36How crying is Random Gene
00:42:38How much has she Googled you Random Gene
00:42:42A randomly randomest Random Gene
00:42:46Stalking Challenge
00:42:48All right
00:42:49So I'm going to say this
00:42:51Random Gene
00:42:51You know
00:42:52I know you watch the show
00:42:54You DVR it and stuff right
00:42:55No I actually just watch it
00:42:57Okay you watch it online
00:42:58So you can reference it
00:42:59I'm going to challenge you
00:43:00To find out
00:43:01What instrument did I play as a child
00:43:03I know that answer
00:43:06Okay
00:43:07Anyone else
00:43:08What do you want Random Gene to find out
00:43:10What is my dead stepmother's name
00:43:12What is Shannon's dead
00:43:13Stepmother's name
00:43:15I don't want to have to
00:43:17Pay to
00:43:19You don't want to have to
00:43:20You already know how you would do that
00:43:22Okay who else
00:43:23Who else
00:43:23Anybody else
00:43:24What is my 8th grade girlfriend's name
00:43:268th grade girlfriend's name
00:43:27Jake Fogon
00:43:28Okay
00:43:29Anybody else
00:43:30This is like
00:43:31LLC too
00:43:33If you want to offer anything up
00:43:34You're welcome to
00:43:35No pressure
00:43:36What's the worst injury
00:43:38I've ever had
00:43:39What's the worst injury
00:43:40Bethany's ever had
00:43:41Name of the
00:43:42Name of the church
00:43:43That I went to growing up
00:43:44The name of the church
00:43:45Phil Jackson went to
00:43:46Human fish
00:43:47What's my favorite bread
00:43:52You gotta find out
00:43:54She just gets wonder bread
00:43:56Human fish
00:43:57Right versus wrong
00:43:58Right
00:43:58Wow
00:43:59Already won
00:44:00Wow
00:44:01Already won
00:44:02So you already got one out of this
00:44:03Anybody else want to offer up a fact
00:44:05Or a challenge
00:44:06You don't have to
00:44:07What job did I have where my co-workers were fish
00:44:10Okay
00:44:11What job did I have where my co-workers were fish
00:44:13Anybody else
00:44:14Even in the audience
00:44:15Okay
00:44:15What charges was I charged with when I was arrested
00:44:19What charges was Jackie charged with when she was arrested
00:44:22That's part of it team
00:44:25That's part of it
00:44:26Anyone else
00:44:27Okay
00:44:27Jackie's out there
00:44:28So the random gene
00:44:30They're public
00:44:32They're public records
00:44:33Public domain
00:44:34The human fish is just holding up a sign that says
00:44:36Don't kill me
00:44:37Don't kill me
00:44:39So alright
00:44:40The stalking challenge is on the table
00:44:41You got a lot of good challenges Gene
00:44:42Get to it in the coming weeks
00:44:44As you come up with this stuff
00:44:45Let us know as you reveal it
00:44:47I'll give you a second option
00:44:48What?
00:44:49How many abortions have I had?
00:44:52Roe vs. Wade in 1973 actually protects that
00:44:55So I can't legally go into your
00:44:57Oh
00:44:58I bet you can find out
00:45:00You probably can't
00:45:02That's all confidential
00:45:04Thanks to HIPAA
00:45:05You're very upset
00:45:06I can't figure this out
00:45:07She's so scary
00:45:08That's so scary
00:45:09What's HIPAA?
00:45:10That's scary
00:45:11You're scary
00:45:11No unfortunately I can't find out
00:45:12How many abortions strangers have had
00:45:14Thanks HIPAA
00:45:16Alright so Random Gene
00:45:18We look forward in the coming weeks
00:45:19To your results
00:45:20So Noah what are we going to?
00:45:22Calls?
00:45:23Or Phil?
00:45:24Alright
00:45:24Total failure
00:45:27Our challenge to musicians
00:45:29From what I understand
00:45:30Zero people
00:45:31Fuck you Lou Reed
00:45:32Is that true?
00:45:33Am I correcting that Noah?
00:45:34Zero musicians have showed up
00:45:37I thought Mos Def was going to walk
00:45:38Oh dude
00:45:39Mos Def and Talib Kweli just rolled in
00:45:43Black Star just come through
00:45:44Tearing down
00:45:45Mos Def really let us down tonight
00:45:47So Phil this means that
00:45:48You will right now be leading a band
00:45:50That consists of
00:45:50You on a saxophone
00:45:51Yeah
00:45:52A keyboard
00:45:53Couple triangle players
00:45:54A kazoo
00:45:55And whatever this thing is
00:45:56If we can even plug it in in time
00:45:58Is anybody beatbox?
00:45:59Anybody beatbox?
00:46:01Okay we got a singer
00:46:02Alright Phil lead the charge
00:46:04Grab the people you want
00:46:05Let's go
00:46:05If you play an instrument
00:46:06Let's get going
00:46:07This is how we end the show
00:46:08So if the beat hits you
00:46:09And you want to get up and dance
00:46:10Let's do it
00:46:11Ladies and gentlemen
00:46:12Phil Augusta Jackson presents
00:46:15The public access players
00:46:16What is it
00:46:22Oh we got another saxophone
00:46:24Okay that's good
00:46:26We got a little
00:46:27What's that an Irish whistle?
00:46:29A tin whistle?
00:46:30Yes
00:46:30Okay we got an Irishman
00:46:31With a tin whistle
00:46:32We got a guitar
00:46:33Phil we might be able
00:46:35To pull this off man
00:46:35Yeah
00:46:36I think we're going to be good
00:46:37What are you looking for?
00:46:38Anybody beatbox?
00:46:40Anybody beatbox?
00:46:42I can kind of beatbox
00:46:44Get up there
00:46:44Matt Mayer can kind of beatbox
00:46:48Okay
00:46:48Okay let's see what we can do
00:46:50Lead the charge Phil
00:46:52Can everybody step like this?
00:47:06Yeah
00:47:08Hey
00:47:22Hey
00:47:26Hey
00:47:28Hey
00:47:32Hey
00:47:33Hey
00:47:34Oh, oh, oh.
00:48:04My love, my darling, I love you.
00:48:21Why, why I can't find the time?
00:48:41Oh, human fish.
00:48:52Yeah, human fish.
00:48:55Put out a hint on the wind.
00:49:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:49:09Yeah, we at the Chris get the show.
00:49:12Everybody dance fast, not slow.
00:49:15First of all, left, right, yeah, go.
00:49:18Everybody say hey-o.
00:49:21Hey-o.
00:49:22Say hey-o.
00:49:24Hey-o.
00:49:25Say hey-o.
00:49:27Hey-o.
00:49:28The Chris get the show.
00:49:30Hey-o.
00:49:42Hey-o.
00:49:43Hey-o.
00:49:47Hey-o.
00:49:48Hey-o.
00:49:49Hey-o.
00:50:20Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for taking out the Chris Gesson Show.
00:50:27Thank all of you.
00:50:28This has been one of the most bizarre, this is the weirdest music you'll ever get.
00:50:32TheChrisGessonShow.com.
00:50:33Tell me about it on Twitter.
00:50:35Tell me about it on Facebook.
00:50:37Thanks, everybody, for coming.
00:50:38Thanks to Jake Fogelness.
00:50:39Thank you, Randy G, for putting yourself out there.
00:50:41Thank you, everybody.
00:50:42We've got it all.
00:50:43The Chris Gesson Show will be back next week.
00:50:46Hot sugar.
00:50:46Be there for that.
00:50:47Thanks, Doris.
00:50:49See you guys.
00:50:50Good night.
00:51:04Oh, yeah.
00:51:06Get down.
00:51:06Everybody kill Chris's house.
00:51:14Oh, welcome to Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:51:22Put on your purple Nikes.
00:51:25Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:51:27Everybody get in your bunk beds.
00:51:30Get ready to die.
00:51:33Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:51:36The Chris Gesson Show is actually Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:51:43We're all gonna go to the Tanger Outlets.
00:51:46Pick up some purple Nikes.
00:51:49Get some black robes.
00:51:51Go to Ikea and buy a shit ton of bunk beds.
00:51:58Gonna put them all together.
00:52:01In the middle of Central Park.
00:52:04Then we're gonna go to the sky.
00:52:10Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:52:12Oh.
00:52:16Heaven's Gate Part 2.
00:52:18And it's Gate Part 2.
00:52:28Thomas, why are the endings always so long?
00:52:32We want to wish Warren Jeffs a speedy recovery.
00:52:35Oh.
00:52:37No, we don't.
00:52:40Live stream viewers, that's it.
00:52:42It's gonna go out weird.
00:52:43Thank you for checking it out.
00:52:44Let your friends know that we exist.
00:52:46We'll be back next Wednesday.
00:52:47Have a good night.
00:53:02Blink that beat.
00:53:02Blink that beat.
00:53:07Oh, that was weird, man.
00:53:12Weird show, man.
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