Meet... Kenny Everett (BBC One 11th October 1973)

Glam King TV Factor

The outrageous Kenny Everett gives a quirky tour of the Top of the Pops studio and answers children's questions about his taste in pop music, his radio show and killing Tony Blackburn.  Technically this was part of the VT material tape of the #TOTP episode from the 11th of October 1973 originally, where there was extra material on the master tape - it was the week before Everett joined a new independent local radio station called Capital which briefly launched on the 16th of October 1973.

Transcript

00:00Well, here's something you've never seen before.

00:11A dead-as-a-doornail, Top-of-the-Pop studio.

00:13Usually raving like mentality itself.

00:17But today, it's sort of dead.

00:19Because they've just finished.

00:21And here I am to tell you about, well, where people do things and what things are.

00:27Now, this is where pan's people dance, you see, a nice big clear area.

00:32Now, over here, we have where all the sound comes out of,

00:37so that everyone knows when to dance and all that.

00:41That's the sound machine there, you see?

00:44You see? Looks like a very old television set.

00:47Over here, we have psychedelic lights, what flash on and off,

00:51and give the impression of psychedelia.

00:53Now, over here, we have, if I can get to it, area A, B, C.

01:01Because when we're doing it, you see, somebody shouts,

01:04C!

01:05And we all rush like mad over to here and say,

01:09that was fab, wasn't it?

01:11And into the next song.

01:12More flashing psychedelia.

01:14And there's a camera, too.

01:17Now, what else do we do?

01:19Well, that's about it, really.

01:22As I say, it's usually raving, but it's unraving today,

01:26because we've just done it and we're all terribly exhausted, aren't we, two?

01:31I think he's passed away.

01:33Never mind.

01:34Oh!

01:35Ah!

01:36Right, now then, by the miracle of television,

01:40we're going over now to an interview with me.

01:43So let's miracleise.

01:44Do you think that Top of the Pops people overdo the special effects

01:49and don't concentrate on the groups enough?

01:52Er, whichever answer won't get me fired.

01:56Or, no, not at all.

01:59A little psychedelia never hurt anybody.

02:01I think it's wonderful in small doses,

02:03and that's what they give us it in, so that's all right.

02:06All right?

02:07Well, do you think that groups mime too much,

02:10that you can see that they're miming,

02:11and that makes you know that they're not doing it properly?

02:15What can she keep talking on out?

02:17Now, Engelbert Umperdinck sang live on today's show,

02:22so that disproves that.

02:24How does it feel to be interviewing one of Britain's top DJs

02:27here in the Tom's wife studio?

02:28I'll tell you when we know.

02:29Oh.

02:31Mind of her own, she's got.

02:32What type of music do you personally like?

02:35The last movement of Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto.

02:38No, seriously.

02:39Up on my hut on a hill,

02:41we have a lot of chance to listen to some really fine,

02:44upstanding, God-fearing music,

02:46like Mendelssohn and the Simon Park Orchestra.

02:49But mostly everything, I like a lot of things.

02:52I like Simon and Garfunkel,

02:54and Stevie Wonder and Mendelssohn and Tchaikovsky,

02:58except he's a bit common, Tchaikovsky,

03:00don't you think?

03:00What do you get your ideas from for your Xenia fix?

03:07Tony Blackburn.

03:09Copping them all down every day

03:11in between his smosh with your granny spot

03:14and all that stuff.

03:17But mostly out of my brain, what there is left of it.

03:21How long does it take to do Top of the Pops?

03:25Half an hour, usually.

03:27Except if we make a mistake.

03:28Sometimes we make a mistake.

03:30Like, last week I forgot to say,

03:32and here is David Bowie.

03:34And then I said it after the next record,

03:36when it was somebody else,

03:37so they had to stop the whole show.

03:39God, it was drastic.

03:40Dreadful.

03:41Had to pay everyone twice.

03:42That's why I'm wearing rags.

03:44They can't afford to pay me.

03:45Look at it.

03:46Look at that.

03:47I'm mean.

03:48Tony Blackburn gets all the suits out of props, you know.

03:51Doesn't pay for them.

03:52Not a penny.

03:53Do you think people really want to listen to you going on every...

03:59Of course they do, darling.

04:01Really?

04:02Phew.

04:03How many people do listen to you?

04:05Well, my mother,

04:07Mrs Elizabeth Cole of Seven Primrose Close,

04:10likes me.

04:12And, um,

04:13I don't know,

04:14they took a measurement a few weeks ago.

04:16I think it was 16 degrees Fahrenheit.

04:18But we have a jolly time on the wireless.

04:22But you're leaving now, aren't you?

04:25Yes.

04:26I'm going stereophonic,

04:29you see,

04:29so that I'll be coming in one ear and out the other,

04:32as usual.

04:35Is she going to be very different, then?

04:37Yes, you'll be able to see it

04:38coming out of your radio,

04:40like a green mist.

04:42What do you think of commercial radio yourself?

04:46I think it's wonderful.

04:47Buy it today.

04:49It affects the mind, you know.

04:51It does.

04:52In one ear and out the other.

04:53I think it'll be a good influence.

04:55I think Radio 1 needs

04:56a boot up the beeb.

04:59Oh, sorry about that.

05:01Because, I mean,

05:03waltz with your mother, really.

05:04What do you really think of Top of the Pops?

05:06Really?

05:07Really?

05:07Really deep down.

05:09Really?

05:11Well,

05:12has anybody ever been fired twice

05:13from the BBC?

05:15It's, it's, well, you know,

05:16it's, you know,

05:17it's Top of the Pops.

05:18I mean, what can you say?

05:20It's loud.

05:22Yeah.

05:23And you have to meet the groups as well.

05:25You have to fight your way

05:26through tons of her.

05:28Hello, they say.

05:28I'm so-and-so.

05:29Who are you?

05:30They say, I'm number one.

05:32I say, oh, sorry, dear.

05:34I don't hear about you

05:35up on my hut on the hill.

05:37Never heard of you, I say.

05:39And then next week,

05:40they're out of the charts.

05:42And I'm still here.

05:43And I was last week.

05:46Do you think Radio 1

05:48will have to compete with,

05:49uh,

05:51the new radio station?

05:52No, no, no.

05:54BBC,

05:55no, no, no.

05:57When the ratings go down,

05:58slap on Jeanette MacDonald

05:59and Nelson Eddy singing

06:00Stringtime.

06:02That'll get them going.

06:03Radio 1,

06:04it'll be going forever,

06:06unless they close it down.

06:08You think they will?

06:09What, close it down?

06:10Yeah.

06:11Dunno, I don't know.

06:13If Tony Blackburn

06:13keeps on going about

06:14waltzing with your mother,

06:16I'll go and kill him meself.

06:18Steal his teeth while I'm at it.

06:19And the next question

06:22right in here, please.

06:24And here we have,

06:25ladies and gentlemen,

06:25a wonderful question here.

06:27Here we have on our left,

06:28or is it right,

06:28depending on which way

06:29you're looking at the side.

06:30She's going to ask me

06:31a really wonderful question

06:32right deep down

06:33from the bottom of her throat.

06:34What effects can you get

06:35out of top of the pops?

06:37Bing!

06:38We can sort of

06:39turn things peculiar.

06:40Can you turn something

06:40peculiar up there, please?

06:43Oh, oh, oh, oh,

06:45and even peculiar-er.

06:48Ooh, I like that.

06:49Ooh.

06:49Oh, that's divine.

06:52Can you...

06:52Oh, I do feel ill.

06:54Oh.

06:54Oh, stop taking the pills.

06:56They can do that sort of thing.

06:58Can I go normal, please?

06:59Can you just increase

07:00the tan a bit?

07:02Just give me a little tan.

07:06See?

07:06South of France.

07:08Don't spend a penny.

07:11Doodly-do...

07:15Doodly-do...

07:16Oh, that's better.

07:18I like being normal.

07:20And then there's the other perks.

07:22Like, you get to meet the stars.

07:24Meet the stars, yes.

07:26I was talking to the

07:27Simon Park Orchestra today.

07:28Wonderful bunch of ladies.

07:31And then Elton John,

07:32who throws a fabulous party.

07:35And, er...

07:36All them.

07:36So, free records and stars.

07:38What more could one ask for?

07:39I mean, for what more could one ask,

07:41being the BBC?

07:43Doodly-doo.

07:45The tea is terrible, though.

07:46How long did it take you

07:47to do your own radio show?

07:49About, er...

07:51About a day, really.

07:53And then, er...

07:55Another day to edit out

07:56all the naughty bits

07:57that they'll never accept.

07:58And then another day

08:00to edit all the naughty bits together,

08:02erase them,

08:03and you end up with a few reels of tape,

08:04because they're very mean

08:05with the tape, yeah?

08:06Very mean with the tape.

08:08Very mean.

08:08Have you ever done

08:09anything terribly wrong?

08:11You know, like...

08:12Yes.

08:12Smashing a camera.

08:13I joined Top of the Pops!

08:15No, I haven't smashed the cameras.

08:18I might do that before I leave.

08:20I think it should be live, though.

08:22That's what I think.

08:23Cos then...

08:24Then it would be fab.

08:25And there'd be real mistakes, then.

08:28And that'd be exciting.

08:29Real mistakes.

08:30They used to do that

08:31on Ready, Steady, Go,

08:32which we can't mention.

08:34And that was quite exciting,

08:34cos a lot of people

08:35used to watch

08:35just to see what went wrong.

08:37Which it did.

08:38A lot.

08:39Why can't you mention it?

08:40Mention what?

08:42Mention what?

08:43What's she talking about?

08:43Mention what?

08:45Why did you install

08:46a £13,000 studio

08:48into your home?

08:50Well, it saves coming to London.

08:52And we live about 220 miles away.

08:55So that's to 440 a week.

08:58That's in a year.

08:59440 times 42...

09:0152 weeks in a year?

09:03Ask Noel Edmonds.

09:04He's good with sums.

09:05But it saved me all that travelling

09:07and I like fiddling with tape.

09:10Cos it's my hobby.

09:11I like fiddling with tape.

09:14My hobby, that is.

09:15Well, don't you just move to London?

09:17Or do you like the country better?

09:19Yes, the country's lovely.

09:22Lovely stuff it is.

09:23Oh, grass and stuff and trees.

09:25It's wonderful.

09:26London's nice, though, in contrast.

09:28So when I do come to London,

09:30it's nice.

09:31But if I was in it all the time,

09:32I don't think I'd think it was nice a lot.

09:35But it's the nicest city in the world, I think.

09:38Thank you very much.

09:41Well, it's just been so wonderful.

09:44Oh.

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