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  • 3 weeks ago
After 10 years, Sam Hyde, Nick Rochefort, Charls Carroll, and Erick Hayden ARE BACK! The most controversial sketch comed | dHNfWnBaSlkyT0xPOFE

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01:00I don't feel so good in my head.
01:05It's a good thing my parents are so smart from watching so much TV.
01:09They could find a professional medical doctor that I can trust.
01:12Let's see what we have here.
01:13I would say this is the most interesting set of symptoms I've ever encountered.
01:17You are a unique and special young lady.
01:21I would dare I say even an indigo child.
01:23It seems like this one is getting free pens.
01:27A pen isn't an expensive item so hopefully it's not much of a conflict of interest.
01:32He does have some rather personalized Hanukkah cards.
01:34I'll say that.
01:35I'm going to go ahead and diagnose you with ambivalent, anti-authoritarian, authority questioning,
01:41maladjusted, dysmorphic nervosia or dysmorphia nervosa.
01:46I get them confused all the time.
01:49I wonder how much time it took them to pick out a tie this morning.
01:52It doesn't matter.
01:53But here's the thing.
01:54Paranoid personality disorder.
01:56100% of women your age have this.
01:59So you're in good company.
02:00Best in the world as far as I'm concerned.
02:02Now we want to jump on this right now so that by the time you're 28 you have a nice apartment
02:08and you're working to register at Whole Foods.
02:11Okay?
02:12Typically what I do is I pump you full of pills.
02:14So I start with one pill.
02:15One little pill.
02:16And then I give you two.
02:17And then I give you three.
02:18And then you'll be begging for more.
02:21It's nothing to be ashamed of.
02:22They just came out with an amazing drug that's going to help you.
02:27This stuff is killer.
02:28It's cutting edge.
02:29Basically what it does is it goes inside your brain.
02:32There's neuro.
02:33There's all this shit.
02:34But it makes it so that you can feel normal.
02:36Is it better feel?
02:38It's better feel.
02:39Yes.
02:40You've heard of it.
02:41Very few side effects.
02:42Works instantaneously.
02:44Two pills a day.
02:45It's going to get you back on the trolley here.
02:47I got a sample.
02:48You got to try one of these.
02:52You...
02:53I want to help you.
03:21okay you're being a little dramatic let's get on their new website here put
03:26my reward points in whoa hey in exchange for all the scripts I wrote last month
03:34I got a free BMW Z4 this thing's badass that's more turquoise or teal I wonder
03:39if this BMW Z4 comes with a hysterical crying girl in the trunk if it doesn't
03:43know where to get one damn I'm like Chris Tucker when I get this BMW Z4 damn I bet if I give you
03:52hair plugs and breast implants and turn you into a medical freak I can get a free Sub-Zero fridge
03:57I'm thinking yeah this stuff is supported by the literature okay it's safe enough to give to
04:06babies I always think the big idea is you're being dramatic be hysterical I'm a grateful bitch I can't
04:11always get my hands on you not a big deal a lot of people have this reaction have you heard of
04:17Cymbalta I got ouchies in my head
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