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  • 3 months ago
Starring Johnny Sanchez (Mad TV), Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911) and Al Madigal (Free Agents) the three perform Stand-Up Co | dG1fUmpEX1J1ZWhsODA
Transcript
00:00Welcome to the city of Los Angeles, California.
00:05A city that, as you know, is more than 99.3% Latino.
00:10Tonight, we will meet three men who continuously struggle to hide their outer white boy
00:15in order to become more Latino.
00:19Johnny Sanchez.
00:22Just to keep those brothers in check, I think every time Obama gives a speech,
00:26they should have a duck pop up behind him going, Half Black!
00:31Yeah, I said it! Yeah, I said it!
00:33And not a regular duck either, by the way.
00:35A duck that went into the ocean during an oil spill, so he has like black and white feathers.
00:40Our clue of that should be like, Half Black!
00:43He's Half Black!
00:44Disguised as three skateboarding luchadores,
00:47these three hombre wannabes scour the landscape
00:50to awaken the sleeping Aztec warrior that lies within.
00:54These three men know that to be a true Latino, you must taste the culture.
00:59With cheese, inside a hard shell, hold the hot sauce.
01:05Al Madrigal!
01:08Nobody warned me what was going to happen to my wife's boobs after the breastfeeding.
01:11I got no proper advice in that area.
01:13Because, ladies, what happens is when you breastfeed, the boobs are fantastic.
01:17They're bigger, they're faster, they're stronger.
01:19Now what was a nice bee, now one looks like a man's wallet,
01:22and the other one looks like a leather satchel you might see at a Renaissance fair,
01:28after it was dropped by a falcon at a high altitude.
01:31No self-respecting sleeping Aztec skateboarding luchadores hombre wannabe warrior
01:36could ever consider himself to be a real Latino,
01:39unless he possessed the main ingredient,
01:41what every real Latino man possesses.
01:44And I'm not talking about a little blue pill.
01:47I'm talking about the macho within.
01:50Carlos Alazraki.
01:57You can't have world peace when people don't flush their poo in public restrooms for other people.
02:03Don't make me do a bad Chris Rock, come on.
02:05You gotta flush your fucking shit!
02:08I don't wanna see your shit!
02:11Unless your shit got titties on it, I don't wanna see your fucking shit!
02:17From the streets of North, North, North Hollywood,
02:20three real Americans who are not here to park your cars,
02:24eat your food, or seduce your women,
02:27but are just here to make you laugh a little.
02:30Live from the El Portal Theatre,
02:33it's the Three Man Juans!
02:47The Three Man Juans The Papa Monster
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