The intimacy crisis no one is talking about.

cupandinspiration

A shocking truth: Men in their 30s are having less sex — but the real reason might surprise you. This isn’t about desire — it’s about a deep lack of emotional intimacy.  Follow for more thought-provoking stories redefining modern masculinity and relationships.  #MenToday #RelationshipTalk #MasculinityShift #EmotionalAwareness #IntimacyCrisis  ©️ All rights and credit reserved to the respective owner(s).

Transcript

00:00I think there was a Washington Post article that came out

00:03saying that men in their 30s are having less sex

00:06than ever before, you know, in history.

00:08And I think it was framed as, and forgive me,

00:10but I'm paraphrasing, it was like,

00:11framed as they're not having enough sex

00:12or not having as much sex as they would like to have,

00:14and the number has gone down dramatically

00:15over the past few decades.

00:17And so obviously that study came out,

00:19and I was reading that,

00:20and the first thing I thought was like,

00:21well, you don't know how much people are having sex.

00:24You know how much people told you they're having sex.

00:26That's the first thing.

00:27But even if it is true,

00:28it was interesting to see the conversations

00:29that came afterwards, you know,

00:30because then some people were saying,

00:31this is why we need to have a right to sex in this country.

00:35You know, you need to have a right to sex.

00:37No, and I think it got...

00:40That's why I say bad branding.

00:41I think what some people were saying was,

00:43you know, we need to decriminalize sex work

00:45in America and in the world

00:48because we've created these structures

00:50that now make people ashamed.

00:52And that conversation,

00:54I don't even think I'm, you know,

00:55close to being qualified to speak on.

00:57I think sex workers have actually started

00:59many great conversations

01:00around how they think the industry

01:01should be formalized and changed.

01:03I found it interesting how

01:04the framing always talks about men and sex alone.

01:10No, but it never talks about two things.

01:13One, very seldom in society

01:15do we talk about how the expectation of sex

01:19was often set by a society controlled by men

01:22and women were just subject to it, you know?

01:25And as that has changed,

01:26you would hope that now the dynamics would change.

01:29But it also makes it seem so one-dimensional.

01:33They go like, women, you know,

01:34men aren't having the sex that they want to have

01:36or wish to have.

01:37And I go like,

01:38how much sex do they think they're supposed to have?

01:40Let's stop there.

01:42Secondly, like,

01:43do they think they're entitled to the sex?

01:46And third, and most importantly for me,

01:48and I really feel like we don't speak about this enough,

01:50is people don't realize

01:53how often men are experiencing a lack of intimacy.

01:58And the only place that they can experience

02:00that intimacy is through sex.

02:02We've created a society where men are so afraid

02:06to be vulnerable with each other,

02:07to be, you know, sensitive with each other,

02:10to care for each other, to love each other.

02:12You know, even saying that as a guy,

02:14you always have to change and be like,

02:14you can't just say, I love you.

02:16You have to be like, I love you, dog.

02:17You know what I mean?

02:18You've got to throw it like you can't just say it.

02:20And it's interesting because that is where I do feel

02:22women have done a much better job

02:24of being there intimately for each other.

02:26Not sexually, but intimately.

02:28And I think we take for granted how much in society

02:31men who say sex is the thing they're not getting

02:35are actually struggling with a lack of companionship,

02:39of intimacy, of being in a space with a person

02:42where they're sharing, you know, everything,

02:44from serotonin to endorphins,

02:46to what humans need to feel, you know?

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