- 2 days ago
Great comedy cinema π
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I haven't been this beat up since my Aunt Fifi's bridal shower.
00:00:16Guys, I'm gonna make this right.
00:00:17The ride's over, Brett.
00:00:19Yeah, you're on your own, pal.
00:00:20Now, fellas.
00:00:23Come on.
00:00:26Who would have thought a simple change of phone number
00:00:28could have caused so many problems?
00:00:31You actually thought that you could use my own number
00:00:34and pretend to be me for your own personal gain.
00:00:38You're moron!
00:00:39Go right ahead.
00:00:41Judge me.
00:00:42Girls?
00:00:43But to fully understand the pickle I got myself into,
00:00:46I think we should start from the beginning.
00:00:48You hug the seat,
00:00:49and you, big boy,
00:00:51you go right up the middle.
00:00:54Ready?
00:00:55No, man.
00:00:56No cuts.
00:00:58Time out.
00:00:59Hey, baby.
00:01:00Aren't you supposed to be at work?
00:01:01We're the kids in the school
00:01:17We get trashed and we break all the rules
00:01:21We try to drag us to the office
00:01:23But what do they do?
00:01:26We puff, puff, puff, suck
00:01:28A cigarette till we've gotten enough here
00:01:32The teachers pulling out the head
00:01:34Cause there's nothing they can do
00:01:35We're probably not a joke
00:01:37Hey, mister
00:01:38We ain't going nowhere
00:01:41Hey, mister
00:01:44We ain't going nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, nowhere
00:01:49And that, my friends, is how a guy catches a Class A case of the stink
00:02:03Hey, you boxed me out, you can't even get out of the door
00:02:06Come on, man, this is the box out, right there, right there, boom, boom!
00:02:08Come on, guys, boom!
00:02:09You didn't need that.
00:02:10It's great. One way to make more room in the truck.
00:02:12Nice.
00:02:13Ah, piss warm, but so be it.
00:02:15Whoever invented yoga pants deserves a Nobel piece of a
00:02:18Christ.
00:02:43What?
00:02:48you gotta talk you got the stink ready boy and a bad mother in case of it
00:02:54I'm kidding since Jules dumped my sorry tell me about it that girl full of puked in her mouth
00:03:00when she saw you all you have to do is be confident who you are and you can have anything or anyone
00:03:05you want yeah fake it till you make it act like you're packing a baker's dust
00:03:09that's your phone again I'll check it later what is that oh that's Jules ain't it
00:03:15ain't it hey give it a phone give it up give it up give it up come on what the come on cheat don't
00:03:22holy s*** Bazman Jules just sent Brett a texter for blowing some dude don't f***ing tease me like
00:03:29that Chi this one plays for the Jets and unlike you he has endurance oh that is grim it only
00:03:35happened one time it was supposed to be a quick let me see it give me my phone topping it all off
00:03:42I was forced to wash down the s*** sandwich of Jules cheating by moving to where the rent was
00:03:47cheapest hey boys hey ma here we go boys yeah we got 30 seconds left G check it we're gonna steal this
00:03:59game keep counting your chickens son my family's still up by one yeah but we got the saint yo do
00:04:03you think cuz this is where Tyson st. James is magic he's watching the clock tick down seven
00:04:09six five and the saint throws hard to the hole
00:04:13welcome back I'm Vance Avery live from the Knights locker room and that was a sizzlerific game one
00:04:26Philly came tonight ready to play there he was my childhood idol a New York hero the saint living
00:04:35the dream with millions of dollars a supermodel wife and endless talent on the court oh thanks Vance I
00:04:41feel uh it was a good game you know I've got to give all the credit to my teammates the coaching staff
00:04:45our owner Phil Page and of course the big guy God so my son has the stink go do something about it I
00:04:54say look at these ballplayers not much older than you most of them and not a stinky one among
00:04:59them Michael he has a successful landscaping business thanks for so Gary there's a well-paid
00:05:05suit thank you Murray and you got bupkis thanks ma except a nice face and a silver tongue you want
00:05:16to be a sportscaster be a sportscaster it's not that easy ma nothing's easy
00:05:22I took out a second mortgage to pay for six years of college and here you are back at home unemployed
00:05:29I'll get another job what you need to get first is a good girl or just go out and bang out an ugly
00:05:35one and rebuild from there thanks I'll get right on that well not with this you won't ladies pick up on the
00:05:42little things like duct tape and disgusting BJ pics from exes well Jules does have nice breasts I'll give
00:05:54her that but a skank's a skank tomorrow when you go job hunting in the city I want you to get a new
00:06:00phone and a new number I can't afford a new phone listen I am doing you a favor go prosper and get yourself
00:06:16laid a little birdie told me this in my ear now if New York wins the finals is it true that you'll be
00:06:24donating a million greenbacks to charity you're a good bitch stage not but yeah I've agreed to donate
00:06:33my bonus to jump higher a charity formed by our team owner's daughter Nikki Page wave to the camera
00:06:39boo Nikki was perfect from the moment I saw her look at that girl but why would a high-class girl like
00:06:46her ever want a schmuck like me she deserved a prince or a saint that was a nice plug on the charity
00:06:54bit very good oh you betcha yes man sure thing so uh you got my kickback
00:07:01you lost your mom shut your mouth and know your role scar be in touch
00:07:10how about the boss's daughter though a charity is worth a man if I get to tap that
00:07:17yeah hey hey baby what's going on
00:07:32congrats daddy let's hook up soon exo exo you big
00:07:46damn it girl that hurt I done told you I don't know who them are I swear I had the same number
00:07:54since my rookie year it's getting late I had a big night no come on get in the bed and let's celebrate
00:08:03whoa
00:08:03that's what I'm talking about baby serve your king yes yes
00:08:15ah what the f*** Sianna I told you I had that phone since my rookie year
00:08:21well now it's broke you need a new phone with a new number and amore no pusetta until finals are over
00:08:28what wait a minute you know I can't function without the pusetta
00:08:31oh too bad if I find you cheating on me I ruin you right before I take half your money
00:08:38capicci I make love to shower head tonight
00:08:55Brad Reynolds as in the actor that's Burt Reynolds okay I'm supposed to meet my friend we're almost done
00:09:05I want you to smack yourself in the face hard what are you talking about
00:09:12and dunk your head in the bucket until I call you back
00:09:14all set my guy slipped your phone into the system backdated six months untraceable
00:09:21I just need to assign a number want to choose
00:09:24well there's a lot of options
00:09:26damn all my people had that number
00:09:28might take some time but I'll get the word out
00:09:30we'll rebuild
00:09:30that one
00:09:31good choice Brett Reynolds
00:09:35just be careful because Gianna's keeping a close watch
00:09:38maybe you should abstain until the finals are over
00:09:40abstain? are you serious?
00:09:42I'm not like other athletes Scott
00:09:44I need s***
00:09:46my game depends on it
00:09:47I know baby I know
00:09:49it was a relief to be free of text
00:09:52from crazy jewels
00:09:54but what I got instead was a stream
00:09:56of cryptic messages
00:09:58York house
00:10:00school I've been kicked out of there twice
00:10:02Mickey Page has always been an obsession of mine
00:10:05if I can bang that out
00:10:07I know I can win the finals
00:10:09on it
00:10:10meanwhile there's an escort waiting inside
00:10:12custom fit
00:10:13she know what she's signing up for
00:10:18already paid her extra
00:10:19room 1302
00:10:21that reminds me
00:10:25I should call this guy back before he drowns
00:10:26yeah you do that
00:10:27that afternoon
00:10:30Paz helped me hunt for temp jobs
00:10:31by calling around to his buddies
00:10:33in the blue collar mafia
00:10:34you have no idea
00:10:36how much power these guys actually wield around town
00:10:39don't believe me?
00:10:40talk to the deputy mayor
00:10:42when city hall sewage pipes back up next Thursday
00:10:44and crap flows like the Nile
00:10:46the mob can kill you
00:10:48but the BCM can make your life miserable
00:10:53yo what's the emergency?
00:10:57you're not gonna believe this man
00:10:59what?
00:10:59I get a text on my new phone right
00:11:01telling us to go to the York house
00:11:02now I think it's just you messing with us
00:11:04but when we get there
00:11:05look what's waiting for us
00:11:07gold bling and killer bud dude
00:11:12stop playing
00:11:13f***ing sweet right?
00:11:14what do I do G?
00:11:15I just stole thousands of dollars
00:11:17stole?
00:11:18bro
00:11:19this is a swag bag
00:11:21a what?
00:11:23gratis
00:11:23rich people get this f*** for free all the time
00:11:25keep it dog
00:11:26oh that's pimp
00:11:30really?
00:11:31I'm not sure how I feel about this
00:11:33well
00:11:33how about we test out this
00:11:36spankity dankity
00:11:37and then
00:11:38see how you feel
00:11:40I'm in
00:11:43just if you were wondering
00:11:45I'm in
00:11:45definitely
00:11:46so I did what any red blooded
00:11:49American would do
00:11:50got high as a kite
00:11:51and by the time we finished smoking
00:11:53my phone was blowing up
00:11:55again this thing is non-stop
00:11:58I say we go
00:12:02it's because you're stoned and s***
00:12:04I say we return the phone
00:12:05what?
00:12:06come on yo
00:12:07this is ours
00:12:07that's like the hottest club in town
00:12:09if you want to meet
00:12:10movers and shakers
00:12:10Mr. Sportscaster
00:12:11that is where they hang
00:12:13and what is your question monsieur?
00:12:14so I think my wife is sleeping with a co-worker
00:12:18but it could also be in my head
00:12:20because my numbers are down this month
00:12:22and then he's killing it
00:12:23what do you think?
00:12:24never look a butterfly in the eye
00:12:26when it's time for bees to meet
00:12:27yeah
00:12:31yeah
00:12:33you're right on it
00:12:34thanks a lot
00:12:35thanks a lot
00:12:35there's something extra for you
00:12:37f*** that s***
00:12:39gotta love this guy
00:12:41he's a f***ing Yoda
00:12:42of hot dog cars
00:12:43that made sense to you?
00:12:44yo you're next
00:12:45ask him about Oz
00:12:46uh two footlongs
00:12:48with uh mustard and ketchup
00:12:50and uh Henri
00:12:51I have a question too
00:12:53uh so there's this club
00:12:55like
00:12:55time is a precious flower monsieur
00:12:57along this
00:12:57how did you go?
00:12:59uh should we go to Oz
00:13:00or should I return the phone?
00:13:02it is what it is
00:13:04it be what it be
00:13:05sometimes there's a dog
00:13:06sometimes
00:13:07you're the three
00:13:09okay
00:13:11yo yo yo yo
00:13:14my main man
00:13:15Henri
00:13:15the usual
00:13:16will I?
00:13:17oui monsieur
00:13:17you will get laid tonight
00:13:19deux fois
00:13:20I told you
00:13:22f***ing Yoda
00:13:23hey Henri
00:13:24I already know the key to the universe is
00:13:26f***
00:13:26so I'm gonna get two dogs
00:13:28heavy on the crowd
00:13:29thank you
00:13:30what do I got to lose?
00:13:32Oz was everything
00:13:46I dreamed it would be
00:13:47where the pretty people
00:13:48rubbed elbows
00:13:49and various other body parts
00:13:51the guy who had this number
00:13:52before me
00:13:53had a life
00:13:54that I didn't
00:13:54and right about now
00:13:55I needed it
00:13:56and so the boy told us to take care of you
00:14:04so we're gonna put you on that prime seat in there
00:14:06that'll work
00:14:07for real
00:14:07so who's your boy anyway?
00:14:09I knew this was a bad, stupid, dumb, moronic, idiotic idea
00:14:14honestly I have no idea
00:14:15good kid way to keep it discreet
00:14:18listen the bottles on us
00:14:19don't even tip
00:14:19and big sweat knows
00:14:21to let you bring ladies up from the dance floor
00:14:22you need anything?
00:14:24have a good set
00:14:25she's cute
00:14:31she's like a Barbra Streisand
00:14:33but now
00:14:34my type
00:14:35guys I'm gonna roll a few apple titties
00:14:37and circle back
00:14:38and don't worry
00:14:39the past man
00:14:40got it under control
00:14:42listen
00:14:48if you're not gonna at least
00:14:49pretend to try to impress me
00:14:51I'm never going home with you
00:14:52hey uh
00:14:53how about we head to my crib
00:14:55and smoke a little cheaper
00:14:57I'm in
00:14:57okay
00:14:59gotta find paths
00:15:01let them know we're out
00:15:02let's split up
00:15:04I got the girls
00:15:05so focus son
00:15:06find a game
00:15:07don't be stinking up the stabbing cabin
00:15:10ladies
00:15:11consider roofs
00:15:16consider roofs to be your fucking night
00:15:18get your hand off of me
00:15:19hey what the
00:15:20hey man that's enough
00:15:21hey who the f*** are you
00:15:23enough
00:15:23I'll end you
00:15:25oh yeah
00:15:26whoa
00:15:28hey
00:15:33thank you
00:15:36oh
00:15:38it's you
00:15:41do I know you
00:15:43no
00:15:44no
00:15:44I'm uh
00:15:45yo Brett
00:15:45oh no
00:15:53excuse me
00:15:55yeah
00:15:56thank you
00:15:58okay
00:16:00alright buddy
00:16:01I danced
00:16:04I danced
00:16:04yes I did
00:16:05I danced
00:16:06I did
00:16:06oh man
00:16:06I did
00:16:08I did the cha-cha
00:16:08I danced
00:16:10you did
00:16:11wow
00:16:14this is his address
00:16:18you take the tunnel
00:16:19he'll wake up on route 3
00:16:20he always does
00:16:21thanks
00:16:22goodnight buddy
00:16:24hey
00:16:26cell phone case
00:16:28hey
00:16:28I wanted to thank you
00:16:31for saving me
00:16:32from Mr. Date
00:16:33I owe you
00:16:34Brett
00:16:37right
00:16:38yeah
00:16:39and you're
00:16:40Nikki
00:16:40how did you know that
00:16:43oh
00:16:44I uh
00:16:44I saw you last night
00:16:45but
00:16:46but
00:16:47not in a stalker way
00:16:49hey how you doing
00:16:50I'm G
00:16:51and I would like to apologize
00:16:53for
00:16:53everything he just said
00:16:55yeah
00:16:56I mean on TV
00:16:57your charity
00:16:58are we like
00:16:59going
00:17:00or like
00:17:01not
00:17:02yes
00:17:02absolutely
00:17:04looks like
00:17:08you're in for a treat
00:17:09actually the girls
00:17:11are both
00:17:11going home with G
00:17:12oh
00:17:13later
00:17:17wow
00:17:19wow
00:17:20you need a cab
00:17:22no
00:17:24no
00:17:24I'm actually
00:17:25waiting for my friends
00:17:27oh
00:17:27cool
00:17:28you maybe
00:17:30want to go out sometime
00:17:31love fellow nights
00:17:33man
00:17:33oh
00:17:35nice
00:17:36and you weren't
00:17:37actually gonna go home
00:17:38with 3LD
00:17:39no
00:17:41because that would have been
00:17:42a really big sacrifice
00:17:43just to
00:17:44ask me out
00:17:46well
00:17:47I am
00:17:49asking
00:17:50out of unread messages
00:17:56uh
00:17:56party invites
00:17:57Nikki come on
00:18:00don't lose my number
00:18:01not a chance
00:18:03bye
00:18:06bye
00:18:06wow
00:18:09I couldn't believe it
00:18:12in a single day
00:18:13I had partied
00:18:14with New York's elite
00:18:15and met the girl
00:18:16of my dreams
00:18:17what other powers
00:18:19did my new best friend possess
00:18:20he brought the all around game
00:18:22and the saint played the rim well
00:18:24with 8 rebounds
00:18:25and 24 points last night
00:18:27the key thing is
00:18:28he can't carry the whole load
00:18:30but he does promise
00:18:31to give a million dollars
00:18:32to the jump higher charity
00:18:33for underprivileged kids
00:18:34so stay tuned
00:18:35because Billy
00:18:36is back here on Tuesday
00:18:38in the house
00:18:39the saint built
00:18:40for game 2
00:18:41of the finals
00:18:42holy
00:18:45oh you 100%
00:18:51I got 18 texts so far
00:18:555 of them confirmed
00:18:56without a doubt
00:18:58can you please
00:19:00bounce that ball
00:19:02a little softer
00:19:03trust me guys
00:19:04it's the saints
00:19:05I don't know guys
00:19:08much as I loved last night
00:19:10thinking I'm gonna go
00:19:11to the store today
00:19:12and get a new number
00:19:13are you nuts
00:19:14you struck gold
00:19:15yeah
00:19:16past man speaks the truth
00:19:17score with this
00:19:18Nicky chick
00:19:19and take advantage
00:19:20of the access
00:19:21sure
00:19:21until I get caught
00:19:22why
00:19:23you think the saints
00:19:23getting these messages too
00:19:24nah
00:19:26it's gotta be an old number
00:19:28getting texts from girls
00:19:30wondering why
00:19:30he's not responding
00:19:31oh
00:19:32you're not responding
00:19:34I'd say what
00:19:36guys
00:19:37it turns out
00:19:37that my childhood hero
00:19:38isn't just secretly
00:19:39a major player
00:19:41he is
00:19:41Caligula
00:19:43that's crazy
00:19:44with that primo
00:19:45supermodel
00:19:45Wayne in home
00:19:46I'd be ordering
00:19:47take in every night
00:19:48dude
00:19:48you have to respond
00:19:49to these texts
00:19:50and keep it going
00:19:51and what else
00:19:52has come in
00:19:52well
00:19:53let's see here
00:19:54aside from the
00:19:57nasty sexting
00:19:58and the multiple
00:19:59titty shots
00:19:59he just got a text
00:20:01from a car dealer
00:20:02offering to let him
00:20:03test drive the new
00:20:04Bentley for a month
00:20:06no obligations
00:20:07and I suppose
00:20:08the saint could
00:20:09I don't know
00:20:10send over an assistant
00:20:11to pick up the car
00:20:12no
00:20:13way
00:20:15a black man
00:20:27driving a Bentley
00:20:27I am going to speed
00:20:29limit
00:20:29it's a thing of beauty
00:20:39you are not lying
00:20:41it's so easy
00:20:42they just hand me the
00:20:43keys and say
00:20:44say hi to the saint
00:20:45all right
00:20:47we need some ground rules
00:20:49goldfoam rule number one
00:20:51we only take what's
00:20:52coming to us
00:20:53goldfoam rule number two
00:20:55we can imply that we
00:20:57know him
00:20:58but we never use the
00:20:59saint's name
00:20:59not spoken
00:21:00not in text
00:21:01nothing
00:21:01and number three
00:21:03we don't steal anything
00:21:05all the offers
00:21:06have to be gratis
00:21:07no strings attached
00:21:08just like the car
00:21:08got it
00:21:09totally
00:21:10okay
00:21:10let's see what this
00:21:13can do
00:21:14the phone was magic
00:21:37it was opening doors
00:21:38that my
00:21:39could never open
00:21:40on my own
00:21:40suddenly I had a surge
00:21:42of newfound confidence
00:21:44I was the man
00:21:45in fact
00:21:46the phone had become
00:21:47my secret weapon
00:21:48to eradicate
00:21:49the stink
00:21:50that's great big smiles
00:22:04everybody
00:22:04thank you so much for how you're going to be
00:22:08thank you so much for having me at home
00:22:21anything for you and the kids nikki
00:22:22one more
00:22:23and again I am so sorry that your secret got out there
00:22:26I've grilled everybody at a charity but I can't seem to get a culprit
00:22:29sports reporters can play dirty
00:22:31but look on the bright side it frees me up to do more publicity for you
00:22:34big smiles
00:22:36all right that's it so kids let's wave goodbye to the saints
00:22:40bye
00:22:41bye guys
00:22:42so precious
00:22:45so cute
00:22:47yes they are the future
00:22:48hey how about we exchange numbers
00:22:50I uh have this event later if you want to join
00:22:52oh I I would but I I have
00:22:56kind of
00:22:57but really thank you so much
00:23:00you really are amazing
00:23:01and um
00:23:02I hope you and gianna have fun tonight
00:23:05thanks
00:23:06bye
00:23:07thanks
00:23:07hope you and gianna have fun tonight
00:23:13bye
00:23:14look like page's little girls playing hard to get
00:23:17you can't just go full force like that
00:23:19you've got to grease her up first
00:23:21I think
00:23:21why the hell you think I'm doing this charity bullshit
00:23:24last I heard nikki didn't have a man
00:23:26I'll find out what changed
00:23:27well do it and do it fast
00:23:29five days without a nut is draining my battery
00:23:31I need
00:23:32I need it
00:23:33I'm trying
00:23:36make something happen
00:23:37cause I need to recharge my mojo
00:23:40soon
00:23:41how's this
00:23:49you'll be at jana's fashion show friday right
00:23:51unfortunately why
00:23:53we use it as cover
00:23:55when the show starts jana will be on the runway
00:23:57for the next 30 minutes
00:23:59you can play out any fantasy you like
00:24:02I'll reserve a private room in the basement
00:24:04I've used it before
00:24:05alright fine
00:24:06give me three girls
00:24:08neapolitan style
00:24:09and make sure they know what they're up for
00:24:11circus is coming to town
00:24:13god damn right
00:24:14we'll have your best caviar with the cabernet while we decide on entrees
00:24:20I apologize sir but we do not offer caviar for complimentary guests
00:24:28complimentary
00:24:29I appreciate the gesture but I can cover our bill just fine
00:24:33oh
00:24:34so it must be fun working with your dad and the team huh
00:24:41I really just try and focus on my charity
00:24:43the kids are my team
00:24:44there's this girl named rachel
00:24:45and she just loves basketball
00:24:47and when she has the ball in her hand she just
00:24:49your phone sure goes off a lot
00:24:53sorry
00:24:53let me just
00:24:54yeah
00:24:55yeah sure go ahead
00:24:56I'm sorry
00:25:10we owe him
00:25:11him
00:25:12caviar will be right out
00:25:19honestly
00:25:23I hate caviar
00:25:26you serious
00:25:27yeah
00:25:28I'm more of a
00:25:30burger dog
00:25:31kind of girl
00:25:32I'm sorry if I disappointed you
00:25:33are you kidding me
00:25:33I
00:25:34I had no idea
00:25:36how I was gonna choke this crap down
00:25:38you like dogs
00:25:40I got the spot
00:25:41here it is
00:25:43Willie
00:25:44we're out
00:25:45put it on my tab
00:25:49thank you
00:25:51this is incredible
00:26:09Nicky Page
00:26:11New York Knights fans want to know
00:26:13you love basketball
00:26:15you hate fancy restaurants
00:26:17you love
00:26:18Shay Sabre
00:26:19so what's your story
00:26:21is this an interview
00:26:22or a date
00:26:24can you help out a future sportscaster
00:26:27alright
00:26:28shoot
00:26:29so Miss Paige
00:26:31America wants to know
00:26:33how you got to be
00:26:35so awesome
00:26:36oh no
00:26:37no I wouldn't say awesome
00:26:38but
00:26:39I come from a good family
00:26:41my dad's a blue collar guy
00:26:43who worked his tail off
00:26:44to get to where he is
00:26:45so
00:26:45he's a huge inspiration to me
00:26:48I try and live up to that
00:26:49but
00:26:51when it really comes down to it
00:26:53I'm just a simple girl
00:26:54from Jersey
00:26:55wait
00:26:56you're from Jersey
00:26:58that's where I live
00:26:59I thought you said you
00:27:01lived in Tribeca
00:27:02well
00:27:03yeah
00:27:04now
00:27:05but
00:27:05that's where I grew up
00:27:06I didn't know you were Jersey
00:27:07yeah
00:27:08foreign bred
00:27:09oh
00:27:10but
00:27:14sadly
00:27:15I don't really get back much
00:27:17well
00:27:17how about a boat ride
00:27:19I got a hook up
00:27:21nothing like watching the city
00:27:23as you drift away
00:27:24works great on dates
00:27:26well
00:27:27since this is a
00:27:29date
00:27:30I will confirm the effectiveness
00:27:32well you better be careful
00:27:34this boat thing is a pretty smooth move
00:27:35I call it the reverse Titanic
00:27:38why's that?
00:27:43I'm the king of the city!
00:27:47do you trust me?
00:27:52so the story goes
00:27:53and so I've heard it said
00:27:54that you left your land
00:27:56betrayed for a place
00:27:57so far away
00:27:57so out of date
00:27:58that only you could understand
00:28:00and at the ceiling of my feeling
00:28:03backed up against the wall
00:28:06sweet thing
00:28:07you know I fall in line
00:28:11you better dig
00:28:12and take a look
00:28:14inside yourself
00:28:16she wants to be safe
00:28:28she wants to be free
00:28:29she wants to be free
00:28:33she wants to be free
00:28:39I keep on waiting for the shoe to drop are you sure you don't have a wife or
00:28:57some like deep dark secret I had a girlfriend yeah she was certifiable
00:29:05I'm not talking normal chick crazy I'm talking sorry let me rewind that no no I
00:29:13agree most chicks are crazy like most guys are liars liars it's probably just
00:29:21me but I seem to have a chemical attraction to guys who are truth
00:29:24challenged you don't say yeah I mean it's not like I go out looking for them but
00:29:30somehow they find me or I find them or maybe I'm just super gullible no I mean
00:29:40it the last guy he lied about everything his his job his car the fact that he
00:29:46still lives with his mother anyways uh this is me
00:29:56do you want to come out I'd love to but I should go
00:30:09get an answer
00:30:13always on the run
00:30:25always on the run
00:30:33with that one incredible kiss I knew she was the one
00:30:52oh God no
00:31:19Vance Avery as in the sports commentator yeah I found out he's going to the
00:31:30intimate disguise lingerie fashion show on Friday I think you should totally go
00:31:35and just see if you can strike up a conversation oh yeah that sounds good
00:31:40your laundry's on the bed who's that um the maid comes in on Thursdays your
00:31:48room is a pigsty by the way wow she doesn't hold back does she very
00:31:53judgmental in fact anyway so I was thinking I would score you some tickets
00:31:59so you can go and meet with him no no no don't worry about it I got a hookup you
00:32:05want chocolate chip pancakes she cooks too premium service I should probably tend
00:32:11to help enjoy the game tonight I'll look out for you bye bye what
00:32:25it's true they just didn't have an answer for Philly's newfound defense
00:32:29Tyson St. James couldn't shake his startling 7.3 for 13 shooting performance
00:32:34yes yes the eight Tyson eight James erectile dysfunction it's my boy what the hell just
00:32:42happened the start of the comeback losers yes there she is oh poor little Debbie Todd yeah
00:32:51it's not funny G she got a million bucks right now no sympathy did you steal the deal
00:32:55last night no didn't feel right oh gee you smell something stinky oh yeah that's some stank all
00:33:04right yeah guys I'm serious I sold her a total bill of goods last night we got to find me some
00:33:09bank from this phone and quick she's gonna realize I'm not all I said I was or you could
00:33:14just tell her the truth that's not an option so does that mean we're going to the lingerie show
00:33:18to meet that producer I'm texting around to find the way in yeah hold on hold on hold on what about
00:33:25gold phone rule number one only take what comes to us oh I want my lingerie you know that sounds right
00:33:32sometimes rules gotta get broken we all are honey I've got the girls lined up for tomorrow night come on
00:33:47the most waiting
00:33:49son of a
00:33:56red R plus two
00:34:04it's out of here man sorry making a lot
00:34:06my guy likes to keep it on the DL it was a rough game for him last night huh
00:34:11oh you ain't lying you ain't lying
00:34:13hey hey man it's all cool if you want to text the saint make sure we're legit
00:34:17I'll tell you what chill here let me check things out all right you never got on the list did you
00:34:22and you just broke gold phone rule number two yeah yeah just get ready to run if my plan fails
00:34:28well I'm betting he still has the saint's old phone number you call that a plane
00:34:33oh bro I gotta remember that easy jersey sure
00:34:43oh sure I mean what are we boys in the hood I'm pulling the shoe from out
00:34:49oh no guys come on well looks like him fellas let him in let him in sorry about that name's Roddy
00:34:58Roddy have a good time fellas all right playboy nah nah nah nah watching you all night kid
00:35:05oh easy killer has mania devil stays in his cage name the last time he came out
00:35:16Oz sure throw that in my face
00:35:20thank you sweetheart could you do me a favor could you bring my wife another drink in the back
00:35:32that girly one she likes I appreciate that
00:35:35so uh do you model
00:35:39I do online
00:35:40I like
00:35:42keep an eye on the PASMAG in the network
00:35:48text Saint boy do you see
00:35:54name any basketball player any year
00:36:02come on man what are you doing do I look like a game show host
00:36:05breaking up ebony and ivory here
00:36:07oh okay okay you want to play all right how about uh jefferson whitmore boom six foot four
00:36:15180 pounds play to arkansas first rounder in 81 12th overall three seasons with new york
00:36:21then he went to denver oh well well well you want to close this deal with some pbg stats 27.3
00:36:28oh boom what do we have man savory man and you are brett reynolds future sportscaster you and everybody
00:36:36else kid
00:36:38hey by the way nicky page says hello
00:36:42oh yeah how do you know nicky
00:36:44we're hanging oh you must talk a good game huh beating out those high profilers chasing that tail
00:36:51haha you got a real deal reel you'd watch my reel this don't waste time
00:36:58oh
00:37:12you didn't get it did you check this new number when to get any number recently well yeah i guess so
00:37:26business calls ladies peace the phone was granting my every wish text by text my dreams were starting to
00:37:38materialize
00:37:45yeah you yeah i'm talking to you shawty in the skin tights come to my station i just order about ten mold bottles of the mold
00:38:06mold bottles of the mold young jeep you're hitting me a jackpot no way i got one of my sights too bad guess who i just saw playing kinky the clown
00:38:13my childhood idol oh scooby-doo
00:38:16what no
00:38:18the saint
00:38:19wait he's here where i want to meet him
00:38:21yeah next time hey gee come on we're out
00:38:23you loco i am making fun with the stuff you guys don't understand
00:38:27so soon
00:38:29that punk walked in on me
00:38:30oh no
00:38:31he's talking to the bouncer
00:38:33you mean that dude stand next to your boy
00:38:34my what
00:38:35your boy your boy brett
00:38:36look i don't know that mother
00:38:38bring it in
00:38:39roddy you watch the door me and scar we'll flush your mouth
00:38:42come up one three
00:38:43one two three
00:38:44one two three
00:38:45come on
00:38:50incoming
00:38:53definitely time to go
00:38:54ah
00:38:55i'll check out your work
00:38:56check out me too
00:38:57i can die now
00:39:22i had a dream about this once
00:39:24i love my phone
00:39:29again
00:39:30marry me
00:39:31sorry guys you gotta go
00:39:33sorry guys you gotta go
00:39:42easy easy we got eyes
00:39:43take me back to those girls
00:39:45too late john is wrapped
00:39:46how did they get in there star
00:39:48wait a minute let me see your phone
00:39:49he's got your old number
00:39:54i don't know dog it's been a fun ride but it may be time to hang it up so to speak you mean give it back guys you can't be serious things are finally starting to go my way i don't know dog
00:40:10it's been a fun ride but it may be time to hang it up so to speak you mean give it back guys you can't be serious things are finally starting to go my way i just had a potential career breakthrough things are really happening with nikki but you're lying to her cause she thinks you missed the money bags wasn't it you two tell me i need to fake it until i make it well guess what it worked and i'm not lying if i can actually get this job and become this guy help us out armory should i keep using this phone
00:40:27only the phone knows when it's time to disconnect
00:40:34yeah thanks useful as always
00:40:36hey oui monsieur you will get laid this weekend
00:40:38that's good
00:40:39but you will win the lotto
00:40:42wait no no right
00:40:45here you go thanks armory
00:40:48but you will win the lotto
00:40:50wait no no right
00:40:53wait no no right
00:40:55here you go thanks armory
00:40:57not giving up my phone
00:40:59i had become addicted to the phone's power like a junkie looking for a fix
00:41:04oh
00:41:06just scored a tribeca loft
00:41:08i was hooked
00:41:10looks like the saint is going to hell
00:41:16i just want some
00:41:18okay send me everything you have on him
00:41:21his name is brett reynolds
00:41:23where's this guy live
00:41:24he lived on east 31st street up until he got your number then vanished
00:41:28sneaky son of a
00:41:30numbers usually have a waiting period before re-release but since we had to backdate yours by six months
00:41:35god damn it do you realize the type of text that came into that number on a daily basis
00:41:40this guy could destroy my image my marriage this could cost me my under armor endorsement
00:41:46which is why we lay low until the finals are over agreed
00:41:50you mean no
00:41:53for all we know this guy poisoned any number of contacts we can't trust anyone
00:41:57let's just
00:41:59lay low until my guy pulls the phone logs and then we'll decide on a plan of attack
00:42:03but scar
00:42:05how am i supposed to play tomorrow night's game with no six
00:42:09don't even think about it
00:42:12come on scar i mean this is business
00:42:14uh don't be stingy i'm desperate
00:42:16honey
00:42:17unless you grew tits in a vajayjay overnight
00:42:20it ain't happening
00:42:21it ain't happening
00:42:30saint started off better tonight but the magic she would not last
00:42:34with new york down by 24 in the closing minutes
00:42:36it was coach p who waved the white flag and took the saint out of the game
00:42:40just a shocking shocking game five
00:42:42put a fork in it they're done
00:42:43lights out on the night
00:42:45turn it off just turn it off
00:42:48well you're gonna miss a game down in philly that was the one
00:42:53well it's a lot more civilized here than dealing with all those crazy fans at night
00:43:02i don't know what i'm gonna do
00:43:03what you mean
00:43:04well let's just say if we don't win the finals my charity is in some serious trouble
00:43:09i had no idea sorry
00:43:11no no it's not your fault
00:43:13and well at least that really cute couple got engaged on the jumbotron
00:43:18are you serious
00:43:20that's how my dad proposed and they're still going strong
00:43:24yeah the fact that he owns the team probably helps with that a little bit
00:43:28you are such a wise guy
00:43:31i happen to think jumbotron professions of love are the most romantic gestures in the entire world
00:43:38whoa
00:43:39oh
00:43:41what's that
00:43:42sorry never stopped
00:43:50what's that
00:43:52that was the night i officially lost the stink
00:43:57lost the stink and someone else was developing a bad case god damn it girl would you put some
00:44:08clothes on unless you plan on giving me some loving my heart's still not rest amore
00:44:14and you don't look so hot but you do sweetheart come here
00:44:24eh icky take a shower and i go tan by pool
00:44:33nerd
00:44:37hear that eratio we ain't invited to the pool party
00:44:44what did you find out my guy hacked into the phone this kid reynolds is either an idiot savant or just
00:44:51a colossal idiot he's been hitting the scene all over town by pretending to be you that piece of
00:44:57now baby baby i want you to keep calm but it's my job to tell you you'll never believe which team
00:45:04owner's daughter he's dating
00:45:12hey man i have to admit it's a killer reel you got skills so give me a job reynolds do you have any
00:45:18idea how many sportscaster wannabes there are out there yeah but how many have the balls to come
00:45:22up to you cold like that okay there's no doubt you got some nuts hi vance oh i know that sultry sound
00:45:29you tell darling nikki i said hello okay listen i'm getting ready to cash a nice big bonus which means
00:45:35i'm gonna take a little vacay next week when i get back i want to get this new show in development
00:45:40which means i'm looking for younger anchors who really know their stuff but got the looks
00:45:44to lasso the ladies i'm your guy easy stallion i gotta kick the tires first okay make sure you
00:45:50and i are simpatico so uh how about a night out on the town fine by me let me take you out i'll pick
00:45:57the place done and reynolds make it good so how'd that go my sportscaster man you know baby
00:46:08for the first time in my life everything's falling into place anyone with half a brain would have
00:46:16figured out something was fishy but not me perfect timing he took the bait the phone was officially in
00:46:25control oh always a pleasure doing business for you fine folks double d when you arrive here with that
00:46:32mother and his friends bring them to vip brett reynolds has no idea the kind of pain
00:46:41he's about to feel ouch there was no coming back from this one as game six comes to a close could you
00:46:49imagine at the start of these finals that it would go to game seven and that tonight the saint would have
00:46:54by far his worst performance made even worse by challenging the coach on the sidelines what we
00:46:59are watching here tonight ladies and gentlemen are the sins of the saint whoo i smell a meltdown
00:47:06we'll take care of this guy tonight and get you back on track for game seven scar i could give two
00:47:13and a slice of cheese about the finals right now all i care about is taking down brett reynolds brett reynolds
00:47:22excuse me excuse me excuse me
00:47:51how the hell are you guys at technology miss get back in line chili's my boyfriend boyfriend
00:47:59we never had to talk i've never seen her before in my life miss this is vip only
00:48:03they're not there they're on my list and you most definitely are not now get back in line
00:48:08i'm gonna get ugly
00:48:21see her dancing in the middle of the floor
00:48:30body moving we let the music take control
00:48:34credit card click on the saints tab text from the confirm
00:49:04what dude he just broke gold phone rule number three yeah it's like 500 a bottle that's like full
00:49:10on dv bro guys the saint is a total dirt bag and a rich one he can afford it that's not the point
00:49:15well now's not the time to discuss guys vance is my ticket in i'm trying to get a job here so
00:49:20you get on board with that or you go yourselves go ourselves yeah that's right do you really think i
00:49:25would be here if i could do that wow the saint's not the only one who turned up to be a real douchebag
00:49:30oh this coming from the guy who turned this phone into his own private brothel that means a lot
00:49:34all right we're having an intervention hand over the phone mr height don't even think about it
00:49:37give him the fuck before your douchebag transformation is complete hey hey hey everything copacetic there
00:49:43yeah yeah yeah we're all just uh insisting to pick up the check well well well look who's arrived
00:49:50darling nikki how are you good hi you look wonderful hey sorry about the game oh it's amazing how quickly
00:49:58things just fall apart isn't it nikki i like you a lot in fact sometimes guys do stupid things because
00:50:08we like someone so much oh no no no no no no no you don't have to make excuses for all my old boyfriends
00:50:14you are so much better than all of them combined oh another text you are just so popular are you
00:50:24gonna answer it i'll check it later oh no no no i insist it can wait i need to tell you something check it
00:50:30uh brett not now g hey brett i said not now i think he knows brett reynolds let's rap
00:50:52you actually thought that you could use my own number and pretend to be me for your own personal game
00:51:00your mom
00:51:03scott read him the tally
00:51:06oz two g's york house gratis bag 11 g's multiple shopping excursions 17 g's bentley rental 40 g's
00:51:14tribeca penthouse for six months 80 g's for a total of 150 000 that's some serious bank
00:51:22n**** okay hold on look i i i i may have bent the truth a bit pretending to know you but all this
00:51:31stuff was offered for free for me not for some loser and his two stooges
00:51:36game's over reynolds if i were you i'd get good at flipping burgers now vance come on i can explain
00:51:47who are you nikki i
00:51:49wait nikki i want to give you the million dollar check win or lose how about we uh meet before the
00:51:58gate in private yeah uh my dad's office seven o'clock perfect see you there you know what
00:52:07you really are saying oh you have got to be kidding me this guy is a total dog i can prove it you want
00:52:14to see some of the text messages that come into his phone don't you mean your phone you are the only
00:52:19girl in my life i promise you know everything now brett brett i saw you come in here who are you
00:52:26i'm jewel his girlfriend who are you i am so out of here she isn't she is not my girlfriend you are such
00:52:34a loser so you guys aren't fit are you thought so totally a fan
00:52:49you know how i got my name brett i have divine powers i'm a walking miracle i was meant to be
00:53:00worshipped get rid of that number tomorrow or next time you won't be able to tell which of your friends
00:53:07a witch that's messed up because i'm white and he's black yeah boy wonder we got it oh just so you
00:53:17know i'm gonna win game seven tomorrow right after i bang out your little girlfriend miss page
00:53:26on her daddy's desk
00:53:30i haven't been this beat up since my aunt fifi's bridal shower guys i'm gonna make this right
00:53:34the ride's over brett yeah you're on your own pal now fellas come on
00:53:47if we're going under got my scuba kit and i got one for you in case we take a dip now i ain't really
00:53:52good a swimmer but i heard you were so you can help me out as we sail about and with every kiss we
00:53:58share i give you my breath so no matter how deep you go have some left peace out see you later world
00:54:07well you screwed up good this time i don't know what to do ma honey i love you but it's time that you
00:54:14became a man figure it out and don't come home until you do
00:54:27because if we're going down we're going down together
00:54:37we're going down we're going down together
00:54:47head first we don't flash bad olympics door
00:54:50what's that
00:54:51the lord giveth and the lord taketh and apparently he indian giveth too
00:55:05because the stink was back and in a bad way
00:55:09hey bonjour monsieur shitty day huh this damn phone henry it's ruined everything my is stuck
00:55:19and i don't know how to fix it how about the dog to ameliorize the soul
00:55:28oh so tell me henry what do i do with this phone now
00:55:32ah for this save a simple solution following your instincts will not do but shadows always understand
00:55:40what shadows may but i don't what are you talking about
00:55:45listen to the whispers of the grass it shall lead the way
00:55:50the whispers of the grass come on man are you kidding me i am lost here i need some help
00:55:57what do you want from me kid whoa henry your accent
00:56:01look kid it's actually henry okay henry sosnowitz from the bronx the bronx yeah the bronx
00:56:09let me give you the straight poop everybody lies to get an edge up
00:56:12this whole french bit was my wife's idea when i first staked out this park some
00:56:1710 odd years ago there was five other cards we was all fighting for our lives so i had to come
00:56:23up with something to differentiate seemed like a good enough idea and it began to work so i ran with it
00:56:29at the end of the day that's what really counts yeah so um by the way i'm a little short on scratch
00:56:48By the way, I'm a little short on scratch today.
00:56:52Is it all right if I just paint?
00:56:53What do I look like? Meals on wheels?
00:56:54Get the f*** out of here.
00:56:59Hey, and good. Some advice from the Bronx?
00:57:03When your s***'s stuck, call a plumber.
00:57:10Henry!
00:57:12You are a f***ing Yoda genius!
00:57:15I love your doors!
00:57:16I love you, dawg!
00:57:22See you tomorrow, monsieur!
00:57:29I see a call from the old digits.
00:57:31Does that mean you're alive?
00:57:32Barely. Hold on. I'm in a conference in G.
00:57:36Brady Boy, you still breathing?
00:57:39I got Pazzy on the line, too.
00:57:41What up, G?
00:57:42Paz man.
00:57:43Look, fellas, I totally understand if you're done with me,
00:57:45but I need your help right now more than ever.
00:57:48If you choose to tell me to f*** off, I get it,
00:57:50but I am down on my knees, boys.
00:57:52You know that sounds gay, right?
00:57:54I think we all can agree that nobody here is blameless.
00:57:57Yeah, because you may have been the monster,
00:57:59but G and I Frankenstein that s***.
00:58:01Oh, you guys rock.
00:58:03So I suppose you want us to help stop the same
00:58:04for banging Nicky tonight.
00:58:06That's kind of a top priority.
00:58:07Well, we're here to help.
00:58:08Good.
00:58:09Paz, I need you to go to my mom's place
00:58:10and get me a change of clothes.
00:58:11You got it, bro.
00:58:13Oh, and my old flip phone.
00:58:14I have an idea.
00:58:15But first, we need to stall the sink.
00:58:17And how do you propose to do that?
00:58:19Call a plumber.
00:58:20The mob may kill you,
00:58:21but the BCM can make your life miserable.
00:58:24White front to back.
00:58:27I'll catch you later.
00:58:30Yo, Joey V, it's Paz, bro.
00:58:32Paz!
00:58:33I hate to hit you up like this,
00:58:34but Breddy and me, we're in a bind.
00:58:37Listen, let me make a couple of phone calls.
00:58:39I'll take care of this no problemo.
00:58:41Yeah, yeah, I know those guys.
00:58:43Yeah, Paz man introduced me to the Appletini.
00:58:46That guy cracks me up.
00:58:49Yeah, yeah, I got a key to the back gate.
00:58:51No problem.
00:58:52I'll spread the word.
00:58:53I'll meet you there.
00:58:53Yeah, yeah, I know where he lives.
00:58:57Sure, I know his driver.
00:58:59Yeah, I'm happy to help.
00:59:00What do you need?
00:59:01Tell Paz you can count me in.
00:59:03Yeah, I can get him into the game.
00:59:06Damn it, tell him to go to the north entrance.
00:59:09Yeah.
00:59:11I'll hook him up with the AV guy.
00:59:12North entrance?
00:59:14Joey, that's awesome.
00:59:15Yeah, me and Paz owe you a night at Papa Moochies.
00:59:17You the man.
00:59:19All right.
00:59:20Gentlemen, one more call.
00:59:22And it's game time.
00:59:23Yeah.
00:59:29I got to meet with the boss's daughter.
00:59:34Because I'm the same thing.
00:59:39Then you go get it.
00:59:40All this.
00:59:43Baby.
00:59:46Let the storm begin.
00:59:53I know you like it with a dirty baby.
00:59:54I get dirty, baby.
00:59:56Oh.
00:59:57What the?
00:59:58Hey.
00:59:59And now, for the coup de grace.
01:00:13I get dirty, baby.
01:00:15Whoa, what are you doing?
01:00:43Back it up.
01:00:44No one's going through here.
01:00:46I said back it up.
01:00:48Come on, Jeezy, back your up.
01:00:50Ronnie fixed your old phone and texted you the files.
01:00:53No problem.
01:00:53Everything else is set up.
01:00:56Come on, come on.
01:00:56Time is wasting.
01:00:57Let's do it.
01:00:58What took you so long?
01:01:00We stalled the saint long enough to implement a strategy
01:01:02where we could lure Nicky away.
01:01:04Places, everyone.
01:01:14Classic bait and switch.
01:01:22So how do you know the saint?
01:01:24I don't.
01:01:24My loser ex got into trouble with him, so he was forced to call me and arrange for the
01:01:32saint and I to meet up.
01:01:34Sounds about right.
01:01:35I was instructed to tell you to keep the lights out and to wait beneath the desk.
01:01:41a little chit chat.
01:01:43Just get down to business.
01:01:45Oh, and uh, we might use another girl's name, just so you know.
01:01:51Whatever he wants.
01:01:52Yeah.
01:01:53Saint raced up to Phil Page's office and changed into one of his little kinky get-ups.
01:02:19Conference room screen, now!
01:02:22Nicky.
01:02:23Uh-huh?
01:02:24You bad girl.
01:02:27You knew just what it was going to take to get this million dollars, didn't you?
01:02:34Gotta hurry up, though.
01:02:35Big Daddy got a game.
01:02:36Here.
01:02:37Put that on right there.
01:02:38Uh-huh.
01:02:39Uh-huh.
01:02:40Oh, yes!
01:02:41Oh, yes!
01:02:42Yes!
01:02:43Yes!
01:02:44Yes!
01:02:45Yes!
01:02:46This is a million dollars.
01:02:48It's a million dollars.
01:02:49It's worth it to everybody.
01:02:51Ah!
01:02:52Ah!
01:02:53Ah!
01:02:54Ah!
01:02:55Ah!
01:02:56Ah!
01:02:57Ah!
01:02:58Ah!
01:02:59Ah!
01:03:00Ah!
01:03:01Ah!
01:03:02Now that's a money shot.
01:03:03Ah!
01:03:04Who the hell are you?
01:03:07I don't know.
01:03:09I'm girls.
01:03:11Reynolds!
01:03:13I'm gonna kill you!
01:03:15Elevator decoy now!
01:03:17What the is happening today?
01:03:22Get this shit out of here!
01:03:25Get this shit out of here!
01:03:35You can keep your money, you creep!
01:03:38No, no, no, no, no!
01:03:40Oh, shit!
01:03:52What happened?
01:03:55Trapped where?
01:03:5845.
01:04:00Got it.
01:04:01Hey!
01:04:04Here you go.
01:04:05Just text the number I gave you.
01:04:06It should work.
01:04:07You guys pull this off.
01:04:08I'm buying.
01:04:09Thanks, Ronnie.
01:04:10Where'd you get the microphone?
01:04:11What?
01:04:12Why aren't you dressed for the game?
01:04:14What?
01:04:15Hey, baby!
01:04:16Ahoy, this is Lucy.
01:04:17Hi, I'm Jules.
01:04:18Do you happen to have our breath myth by any chance?
01:04:19What?
01:04:20Why aren't you dressed for the game?
01:04:21What?
01:04:22Hey, baby!
01:04:23Ahoy, this is Lucy.
01:04:24Hi, I'm Jules.
01:04:25Do you happen to have our breath myth by any chance?
01:04:26What?
01:04:27What?
01:04:28What?
01:04:29What?
01:04:30What?
01:04:31What?
01:04:39Giana, we'll talk about this later, okay?
01:04:41Our game we're going to!
01:04:42Wait, can we stop?
01:04:44Sorry, ladies.
01:04:45Only players beyond this point at game time.
01:04:52That player is my husband for five more minutes.
01:05:00Hello, sweetheart.
01:05:01Hi.
01:05:06What's the matter?
01:05:07Uh, just some boy troubles, Daddy.
01:05:13Hey.
01:05:14Yeah.
01:05:15You want to punch it out?
01:05:17No.
01:05:18Come on.
01:05:19Always used to work.
01:05:22Afraid you can't take me anymore?
01:05:23Come on.
01:05:24All right, all right, all right.
01:05:32Ooh, it's that bad, huh?
01:05:37You want to talk about it?
01:05:40Why is it that every guy is a lying jerk?
01:05:45Let me have it.
01:05:46Come on.
01:05:48I love you, sweetie.
01:05:49I love you, Dad.
01:05:52It all comes down to this.
01:05:54I love you.
01:05:55I love you.
01:06:00Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Brent Reynolds, and welcome to Game 7.
01:06:06Between the New York Knights and Philadelphia Mountains.
01:06:09Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:06:11Uh-oh, shit.
01:06:12Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:06:13Get your ears off.
01:06:14I'm gonna kill you.
01:06:15I want to tell the crowd here tonight, and all of the viewers watching at home.
01:06:23I'm a liar.
01:06:25And I just majorly screwed up with the girl of my dreams.
01:06:30Tyrone.
01:06:32Get that guy off my court.
01:06:33Daddy, Daddy, please.
01:06:34Please, just stop.
01:06:35Just...
01:06:36Just let him talk.
01:06:37Is that the guy?
01:06:39Nicky Page.
01:06:40It's true.
01:06:42I only met you because I inadvertently got the Saints' old phone number.
01:06:48I'm gonna kill him!
01:06:49Ah!
01:06:51You wanna know why nothing worked today, Saint?
01:06:53Well, now you know.
01:06:54Unless you want a problem with every electrician, plumber, and limo driver in the tri-state area,
01:06:59you're not going nowhere.
01:07:01It all started when my ex, Jules Schachter, dumped me and started texting me
01:07:06pictures like...
01:07:09this.
01:07:11Oh!
01:07:13Oh!
01:07:14My!
01:07:15God!
01:07:16And...
01:07:17this one.
01:07:18Yes!
01:07:21Thank you!
01:07:22Thank you!
01:07:23That's me!
01:07:24That's me!
01:07:25That's me!
01:07:26Yeah.
01:07:27Yes.
01:07:28She is an awful human being.
01:07:31So I changed my number.
01:07:32And then I realized I had the Saints' old digits,
01:07:35and when the offers started coming in,
01:07:39well, I...
01:07:41I couldn't say no.
01:07:42So yes, it's true.
01:07:43I lied about being rich.
01:07:45I'm actually...
01:07:47flat broke.
01:07:49I know, I know.
01:07:50I don't blame you.
01:07:52As a result,
01:07:54I betrayed the trust of a woman who I care deeply about.
01:07:58You'll hear from my lawyer.
01:07:59Jonah!
01:08:00Jonah!
01:08:01Mi amore!
01:08:02Okay, everybody, everybody calm down!
01:08:04Everybody...
01:08:05Okay, everybody, wait!
01:08:06Wait, wait, wait, wait!
01:08:07I have another picture that I can show!
01:08:09All I had to do was hit send,
01:08:11and the picture of Saint and Jules would be splashed all over the world.
01:08:16And as I looked at the fear in the Saints' eyes,
01:08:18I couldn't help but feel that this phone somehow connected us.
01:08:22We both understood its power.
01:08:24And with great power comes a lot of free shit.
01:08:28I'm sorry, sweetheart.
01:08:41All right, all right, all right.
01:08:42Nicky!
01:08:43Nicky!
01:08:44New York City!
01:08:47That is enough!
01:08:51This man is putting everything on the line here.
01:08:53That is enough!
01:08:55This man is putting everything on the line here.
01:08:59The least we can do is hear him out.
01:09:03Officers.
01:09:04Anything for you, Saint?
01:09:07Thanks, Saint.
01:09:10What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry to everyone that I've knowingly or unknowingly hurt.
01:09:17I will earn back your trust.
01:09:20I'm gonna make up for my mistakes, and I will pay everybody back in full.
01:09:26Even if it means I have to live with my mom until I'm 40.
01:09:30I live with my mom.
01:09:32And Nicky, I just want you to know I am falling in love with you.
01:09:41That was the truce.
01:09:43I'm kind of tied up at the moment.
01:09:45Yeah, don't worry about it.
01:09:47Look, somebody's here for you.
01:09:50Oh, shit.
01:09:55Oh, shit.
01:09:55Oh, shit.
01:09:55Oh, my God.
01:09:57Let's go.
01:09:58New York City.
01:10:00Yeah.
01:10:01Let's go.
01:10:03Let's go.
01:10:05Yeah.
01:10:06Finally.
01:10:07A guy with balls.
01:10:11Oh, yes.
01:10:12Yes.
01:10:13You're finally a man, Brett.
01:10:15And that girl has a sweet rack.
01:10:17You did good.
01:10:18We should talk.
01:10:29You could have destroyed me out there.
01:10:31Why didn't you?
01:10:33You're my hero growing up.
01:10:35Well, too bad I'm not that guy, right?
01:10:37Well, not yet.
01:10:38But I want to become the person that I was pretending to be.
01:10:44Maybe you should try that, too.
01:10:45You want to be a sportscaster, right?
01:10:47Yeah.
01:10:48Like that'll ever happen now.
01:10:49I'll tell you what.
01:10:51After I win this here game, I'll do my first sit-down interview with you.
01:10:55Deal?
01:10:55Uh, yeah.
01:10:57Deal?
01:10:58Oh!
01:10:59All right, all right, all right, all right.
01:11:01Game time.
01:11:02Yeah, hey, good luck tonight.
01:11:04Luck?
01:11:04Not necessary.
01:11:05Thanks to you.
01:11:07Just to pick me up, I need it right there.
01:11:09Yeah, you know.
01:11:11You know.
01:11:12And that pretty much brings us full circle.
01:11:21The video of me at Game 7 went viral.
01:11:24The Saint granted his first tell-all interview.
01:11:27And here I am now as your co-anchor.
01:11:29Fascinating.
01:11:30Brett Reynolds, folks.
01:11:31One man's journey from stink to fink to in the pink.
01:11:37Speaking of.
01:11:37Bet that ex-girlfriend of yours is kicking herself right about now, huh?
01:11:41Well, as a matter of fact, she keeps calling me.
01:11:43I'm going to have to get myself a new number.
01:11:45Oh, zowie.
01:11:47You heard it here first, folks.
01:11:50And Jules, I'm not doing anything Friday night.
01:11:52No, no, no, come on.
01:11:54Just kidding.
01:11:55I'm also available Saturday.
01:11:57And until tomorrow, I'm Gus Jacobson.
01:12:00And I'm Brett Reynolds.
01:12:01We'll see you tomorrow on Sports Huddle.
01:12:04You know, you smell better in Vance, too.
01:12:06Clean slate.
01:12:19Bye-bye, Jules.
01:12:20Forever.
01:12:21Yeah, it's convenient.
01:12:22She wants you back now that you're famous.
01:12:24Well, I doubt that's going to happen.
01:12:26Wow, I think it's official, Brady Boy.
01:12:28You have lost the stink.
01:12:29get a room let's go
01:12:35so what are the new digits bro yeah what's the lucky number
01:12:42huh i don't even giving this out to anyone yet
01:12:46new york city man new york city man
01:13:01yeah 2002 i was caught swimming around and there she was standing there and i finally found my home
01:13:13new york city man
01:13:15new york city man
01:13:19here we go
01:13:21just a shocking shocking game five true that all hats and no cattle don't pee on my leg and tell me
01:13:31it's raining bricks all over the place one just came through the window
01:13:34you're a duck
01:13:36baby call mark
01:13:38it's a dump in that trouble
01:13:39you all right
01:13:41need help
01:13:42oh my god you good
01:13:46no i don't
01:13:46take a shower
01:13:49and i'll be waiting for you
01:13:52my pool
01:13:53nude
01:13:55well if she waiting for me
01:13:57i'm out of here
01:13:58that was some divine intervention from the saint right there and then the immortal words of jay-z
01:14:04that hit cray
01:14:05you actually thought that you could use my old number
01:14:08and did the blah blah blah blah blah blah
01:14:11whoo i smell a meltdown
01:14:12she doesn't sweat much for a fat girl
01:14:15soft sticks mark
01:14:20next time you give me the regular sticks all right
01:14:24and action
01:14:28i will give you some hand
01:14:30give you some hand
01:14:31from the boy's daughter
01:14:32got nikki in my band
01:14:33oh it's gonna get overspread
01:14:35overspread
01:14:36is he the one that went off the script
01:14:40yeah
01:14:40did he get
01:14:41i'm trying to stay on script
01:14:42he went off the script
01:14:43he's a veer
01:14:44i'm gonna kill both of you
01:14:45you know that
01:14:45both of you is dead
01:14:46i was standing
01:14:47look
01:14:48can we bring this
01:14:50where's that
01:14:51i wanna know too
01:14:54you ain't going nowhere
01:14:55hey i got low
01:14:56low joe pesci
01:14:58you ain't going nowhere
01:14:59i got the little piece of delivery boy coming at me like that man
01:15:03you ain't going nowhere
01:15:04i'm your little frankie bally
01:15:05you ain't going nowhere
01:15:06let him speak
01:15:07oh yeah
01:15:09what's wrong with you
01:15:10action
01:15:15how do you know brett
01:15:16i used to sell him pot
01:15:19let's go
01:15:23buyin' cigarettes for the kids on the block
01:15:36i know they're underage but i came here to rock
01:15:38i say what i think and they think that's a crime
01:15:41but you can't cuff my mind
01:15:43a couple of misfits
01:15:51trying to get a quick fix
01:15:52selling our soul for a bug
01:15:54a couple of misfits
01:15:56walkin' through life
01:15:57with our middle fingers up
01:15:59cause we don't give a fuck
01:16:00a couple of misfits
01:16:02trying to get a quick fix
01:16:03selling our soul for a bug
01:16:05Nothing on a Monday night
01:16:13Might as well act like a psycho
01:16:16Bitches want to start a fight
01:16:18Little do they know I'm a ninja
01:16:21A couple of misfits walking through life
01:16:24With our middle fingers up cause we don't give a fuck
01:16:27A couple of misfits trying to get a quick fix
01:16:30Selling our soul for a buck
01:16:32A couple of misfits walking through life
01:16:35With our middle fingers up cause we don't give a fuck
01:16:38A couple of misfits trying to get a quick fix
01:16:41Selling our soul for a buck
01:16:43A couple of misfits
01:16:45We don't give a fuck
01:16:47A couple of misfits
01:16:50Selling our soul for a buck
01:16:53Balls leaning to the east
01:17:02There was a taste of summer
01:17:05Blowing in the breeze
01:17:07The sun was shining on our feet
01:17:10The ocean air made it easier to breathe
01:17:15And I was just thinking
01:17:17As you were winking
01:17:21How lucky I am to be alive
01:17:27How funny that I've got you by my side
01:17:31The ebb and flow
01:17:33The highs and lows
01:17:35Make us grow
01:17:37Closer together
01:17:40A couple of misfits
Recommended
8:37
|
Up next
6:49
5:13
4:25
0:23
0:20
3:48
58:07
1:10:12
1:52:50
6:24
1:40:49
Be the first to comment