00:00He got her pregnant after she told him she didn't want any more kids.
00:22This was when I was six months pregnant with my now three-year-old.
00:25So it was a while ago.
00:26But what he did was coercion.
00:27And coercion is forcing somebody to do something that they did not want to do.
00:31I told him I did not want another child.
00:33It was the 4th of July.
00:34I had gotten a little bit in a party mood and made some bad decisions.
00:38I would gladly have 10,000 children if I could.
00:41Do I want more with him?
00:42No.
00:42And that's where I was at in this relationship.
00:44We had a two-year-old.
00:45I did not want another one.
00:47I was already planning on divorcing him.
00:49This was far from the only narcissistic thing he did during their relationship.
00:52I had talked to friends about how to get out.
00:54I did not want another child.
00:55He wanted a child because he had a girlfriend and he wanted me to stay.
00:59Shortly after that video, I was given an engagement ring and told that I was the best thing that's ever happened to him.
01:06He's so sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:07I went in after my son was born at six months old for a hysterectomy.
01:11He did not come to the hospital.
01:12He did not answer the doctor's phone calls when they were calling to tell him out that I was being on the table and that I needed a transfusion just to get the okay.
01:19He didn't show up to the hospital for hours after my procedure.
01:21Getting out of narcissistic relationships is never easy.
01:25I was still married to him.
01:26I still had to live with this man.
01:27My children were still in the same home with him.
01:28I was treading very lightly.
01:30It has taken me three years to gain the confidence to speak out about coercion.
01:34You can be harmed in multiple ways.
01:36It's not just physical.
01:37It's emotional.
01:38She's using her platform to speak out for other women stuck in toxic relationships like she was.
01:43I want other women to realize that they can get out.
01:48There are support systems.
01:49There are people who help you pick up the pieces.
01:51I promise you can do better if you are in this situation.
01:55I didn't believe it.
01:56I didn't want to leave.
01:56I had every excuse in the book.
01:58Please listen to your gut ladies and get out.
02:00He used to call me the narcissist.
02:01Even after the diagnosis, he used to call me the narcissist.
02:04I was the one who was always trying to start the fight.
02:06I was always the one overreacting.
02:07I was always the one who couldn't handle the money.
02:10It was always me.
02:10And then he would get mad when I would be mad.
02:12Don't blame me for my reactions to your reactions.
02:16She has a warning about your narcissistic partners.
02:18They will convince you that you are incapable.
02:21They will convince you to stay at home.
02:23But then they'll complain that you stay at home and don't work.
02:25I was making like $15 an hour working as a paraeducator around my kids' schedules.
02:30And he would complain that I wasn't bringing in enough income.
02:33So then I was like, okay, well, let me go finish my teaching degree.
02:35I have like four classes left.
02:36And he was like, eh, I don't want to pay for college.
02:38He didn't want to pay for college because he didn't want me to be successful.
02:41And then he was like, you could never make it on a teacher's budget.
02:43I did this last year because newsflash, you gave nothing.
02:46Nothing.
02:46And that's with two kids in daycare.
02:48People can do hard things.
02:49They just need to believe in themselves.
02:50He won't even do the bare minimum for his kids.
02:53I am very grateful when he does send me a little bit.
02:55Like every little bit helps.
02:56Today, he sent me a hundred bucks out of the blue.
02:59Great.
02:59I appreciate that.
03:00The hundred dollars is great and helpful.
03:01Yes, that's not my issue.
03:03My issue is the fact that you are living in a $4,000 a month rental.
03:07For what?
03:07You have your kids every other weekend.
03:08They don't need that kind of space.
03:10And my babies sleep in a closet at his house.
03:12It's getting ridiculous.
03:13The hundred dollars helps.
03:14Yes, but that's not the point.
03:15The point is that you're choosing to live a glorified lifestyle instead of taking care
03:20of your kids.
03:21I would give anything I had to make sure that my kids have what they need.
03:24Anything.
03:25I would eat ramen for myself just to make sure my kids had steak on their birthday.
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