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00:00:00Yes, it's Bruce Forsyth's Big Night!
00:00:30Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Forsyth!
00:00:42Thank you!
00:00:51Please, please, please, please don't stop.
00:00:59Nice to see you, to see you!
00:01:02Nice!
00:01:03It could be a very...
00:01:04Be nice!
00:01:06When?
00:01:07Tonight!
00:01:08I don't know where you are.
00:01:15You may be near or far, so let's get the network together.
00:01:20It's Saturday night!
00:01:22You know, I still haven't got over doing that interview with little, lovely Lena Zavaroni last week.
00:01:27You know, you can imagine what it was like, you know, I mean, talking to someone so young and with so much talent.
00:01:32But I thought she'd cope with it very well.
00:01:34You know, the thing is, you know, it got me starting to think, you know, what was I like at 15 years of age?
00:01:42You know, what was going on in my life?
00:01:45How did I feel about life?
00:01:46And I thought about it so much, last night I looked out my old school report and I thought it'd be nice to read it to you.
00:01:52You know, eaten.
00:01:53All right.
00:01:54By the dog.
00:01:55You see, you never let me finish a thing, do you?
00:01:56Don't worry, I know I'm as...
00:01:57Oh, I've never come over here before, ever!
00:01:58Don't worry, I know I'm as common as you lot, don't you?
00:01:59Especially this section.
00:02:00There's an old saying up north, where there's muck there's brass.
00:02:01I've never seen you mucky a lot.
00:02:02Anyway.
00:02:03It was eaten by the dog.
00:02:04And, er, actually it was from the, the house of black and everywhere.
00:02:07And, er, to the house of black and white.
00:02:08And, er, to the inside of black and white.
00:02:09You see, you never let me finish a thing, do you?
00:02:12Don't worry, I know I'm as common as you lot.
00:02:13Don't you?
00:02:14Especially this section.
00:02:15There's an old saying up north, where there's muck there's brass.
00:02:21I've never seen you mucky a lot.
00:02:23Not quite at that time.
00:02:24They've been asking me for that for weeks.
00:02:25Anyway, eaten by the dog.
00:02:27And, er, actually, it was from the, the, the, the house of black.
00:02:30And, er, it was like, I guess.
00:02:31Hyalatimer School is actually where I went to school.
00:02:35The Hyalatimer Secondary Mixed.
00:02:37And, er...
00:02:38Name, it says, Bruce Clanger Forsyth.
00:02:44I dropped the clanger when I went into the show business.
00:02:47Just a little joke.
00:02:50Evidently.
00:02:51But, er...
00:02:52Age 15 years.
00:02:55Sex, satisfactory progress.
00:02:57Sorry, I'm reading the wrong line.
00:03:03No, I'm not.
00:03:05What was that sort of school?
00:03:06You know, it really was.
00:03:07Now, what else does this...
00:03:08Oh, yeah, English.
00:03:09His knowledge of the meaning of words is both abysmal and lamentable.
00:03:16That surprised you.
00:03:18Very complimentary.
00:03:19And, er...
00:03:20This is dancing.
00:03:21It's an excellent progress with dancing.
00:03:23It's true.
00:03:24I can still remember it was at that school
00:03:26that I started to tap dance.
00:03:28I'll never forget it
00:03:28because it was the day they lost the key to the boys' loo.
00:03:32And...
00:03:32And, hey, this is the bit...
00:03:36This is the bit I really wanted to get to.
00:03:37It says,
00:03:38Physical education
00:03:39has a natural bent.
00:03:48In fact,
00:03:49as far as I can see,
00:03:50Forsyth is in excellent shape
00:03:52and physical condition
00:03:53with a perfect body
00:03:55for a girl of her age.
00:03:58I was a late developer.
00:04:02It's the big night in
00:04:04on ITV
00:04:05I can't see you
00:04:06but you can see me
00:04:07on the network
00:04:08every Saturday night
00:04:12got the whole
00:04:13of the network
00:04:14together tonight
00:04:15Thank you very much.
00:04:23You're very kind.
00:04:25Thank you again.
00:04:26Now,
00:04:26it's time for questions
00:04:28which means
00:04:29it's question time.
00:04:30So, if you've got a question for me
00:04:32about anything you like,
00:04:33this is where we're going to do it.
00:04:34Now, put the lights up,
00:04:35if you will, lads.
00:04:36And don't forget,
00:04:37let the microphone get to you
00:04:38before you ask the question.
00:04:40Yes, the lady there
00:04:41in the floral number
00:04:42called her hand
00:04:43went up like that.
00:04:43Yes, my love.
00:04:44Do you and Anthea go jogging?
00:04:51No, my love.
00:04:52No, we don't.
00:04:53Thank God.
00:04:55Do you jog, dear?
00:04:56No, I ride a bike.
00:04:57Oh, dear.
00:05:03You're a jigger.
00:05:04Actually, what I have got
00:05:06a health bike at home.
00:05:08I do believe in this,
00:05:10the jogging thing.
00:05:11But somebody told me,
00:05:12see, that when you jog,
00:05:13I'm going to get up for this,
00:05:14because when you jog,
00:05:15you jolt the blood,
00:05:17which makes a lot of sense
00:05:18because when you jog,
00:05:19because your feet are going down,
00:05:22it jolts the blood.
00:05:23So, if you're on a health bike
00:05:25and if you actually,
00:05:26you do actually,
00:05:27honestly, cycle a lot.
00:05:28Oh, yes.
00:05:28Well, this is supposed to be
00:05:30the finest form
00:05:31of that kind of thing
00:05:32is if you're,
00:05:33like, I've got a health bike,
00:05:34which doesn't go anywhere.
00:05:35You know, I shut my eyes
00:05:36and I make out.
00:05:38I'm such an idiot like that.
00:05:40So, by cycling, madam,
00:05:41it's a lot more healthier for you.
00:05:43And if anybody you know
00:05:44is thinking about
00:05:44getting a health bike,
00:05:45that is the difference.
00:05:46It is better than jogging.
00:05:48All right?
00:05:48A very interesting question.
00:05:49And your name, dear?
00:05:50Stella.
00:05:51Stella.
00:05:52Yes.
00:05:52All right, then.
00:05:54See you later in the starlight.
00:05:56All right, then.
00:05:58Thank you for coming
00:06:01and thank you for asking
00:06:02that question, Stella.
00:06:03Very, very nice.
00:06:04Now, anybody else down there?
00:06:05Yeah, lady in the green there
00:06:06with the glasses on.
00:06:07Yes.
00:06:08I would like to ask you,
00:06:10Anthea's dresses are so beautiful.
00:06:12Does she ever wear them twice?
00:06:17Well, she...
00:06:19The stage dresses she does wear.
00:06:21If we go to a function,
00:06:23you know,
00:06:23or, you know,
00:06:24sort of have a bit of meatloaf.
00:06:28A tome,
00:06:30and we've opened a bottle of wine,
00:06:32she'll dress up like...
00:06:33Why did I say meatloaf?
00:06:35That means I hate it.
00:06:38But no,
00:06:39she does often keep them,
00:06:40but she, you know,
00:06:41you can imagine,
00:06:41over the last few years,
00:06:42she's got such a collection,
00:06:44you know,
00:06:44and then she does let her sister
00:06:45wear them sometimes.
00:06:47You know what women are like?
00:06:48Oh, have you got some...
00:06:48I can pop that.
00:06:50You know,
00:06:51and then sometimes,
00:06:52when she's there,
00:06:52I try them on.
00:06:53But apart from...
00:06:55No, I was a late developer.
00:06:59I just told you.
00:07:02But thank you for your question.
00:07:03And your name, dear?
00:07:04Uh, Molly.
00:07:05Molly Kerwood.
00:07:06Molly, what, dear?
00:07:07You got a bit of a throat.
00:07:08Molly, what, dear?
00:07:09Kerwood.
00:07:09Oh, Kerwood.
00:07:10Yes.
00:07:10Yeah, that's a shame.
00:07:12And who are you here with, Molly?
00:07:14The Royal Automobile Club.
00:07:16Oh, really?
00:07:16Yes,
00:07:17I saw the bike outside.
00:07:19LAUGHTER
00:07:19Anyway,
00:07:21thank you for asking that question.
00:07:23That's very nice.
00:07:23If there's somebody over this side
00:07:24in a particular question,
00:07:25a lady in the green there
00:07:26with the glasses on.
00:07:27Yes,
00:07:28and the earrings.
00:07:29Which impressions...
00:07:30Just a minute,
00:07:30just a minute,
00:07:31just a minute,
00:07:31right?
00:07:32Which impressions do you like doing best?
00:07:35Well,
00:07:35I can only do impressions
00:07:36of people I like.
00:07:37Impressions of women?
00:07:40No, I've...
00:07:40LAUGHTER
00:07:42I've never done impressions of women,
00:07:45you know,
00:07:45not...
00:07:46I mean,
00:07:46I've played Dame in sketches
00:07:48and that kind of thing,
00:07:49but I suppose I could
00:07:51do impressions of women
00:07:52because with my voice
00:07:53being a bit high anyway,
00:07:54you know,
00:07:55I was a late developer.
00:07:56LAUGHTER
00:07:57I don't really do
00:08:00sort of a lot of that
00:08:01sort of thing,
00:08:02but I think there are
00:08:03certain women's voices
00:08:03I could do, actually.
00:08:05Funny you should mention it.
00:08:06But otherwise,
00:08:07you know,
00:08:07the impressions I do,
00:08:08I do things of,
00:08:09you know,
00:08:09Sammy Davis Jr.
00:08:10naturally,
00:08:11Sinatra,
00:08:12Dean Martin,
00:08:13all the people I...
00:08:14Tony Bennett,
00:08:15Tony Newley,
00:08:16those kind of things I do,
00:08:17you know.
00:08:18I could do one of...
00:08:19give me an arpeggio,
00:08:21a B7 arpeggio.
00:08:24Do my Harry Seacomber.
00:08:27Falling in love with love
00:08:29is falling for make-believe.
00:08:33Falling in love with love
00:08:35is playing the...
00:08:36Is that what I'm going to do?
00:08:40Yeah.
00:08:42APPLAUSE
00:08:42By the way,
00:08:46why are we doing this?
00:08:48Because I often do this
00:08:49and people said to me
00:08:49in the bar the other night
00:08:50after the show,
00:08:51they said,
00:08:52can you really...
00:08:52we see you do...
00:08:53and all that.
00:08:54Well, Harry does it,
00:08:54he doesn't,
00:08:55he does that,
00:08:56which I can't do,
00:08:57but he can't do that one.
00:08:58So,
00:08:58so it levels up,
00:09:00you know what you lose
00:09:01on the swings.
00:09:01Anyway,
00:09:02anybody got a song
00:09:03they'd like me to do,
00:09:04play a tune
00:09:05by doing that?
00:09:07A song,
00:09:07anybody got a favourite song?
00:09:09What?
00:09:09Nanny Boy.
00:09:10What?
00:09:10Nanny Boy.
00:09:11Gentlemen,
00:09:12one.
00:09:13BIT LONG
00:09:14BIT LONG
00:09:15BIT LONG
00:09:15BIT LONG
00:09:16BIT LONG
00:09:16BIT LONG
00:09:17BIT LONG
00:09:17BIT LONG
00:09:17BIT LONG
00:09:17BIT LONG
00:09:19BIT LONG
00:09:19BIT LONG
00:09:20BIT LONG
00:09:20BIT LONG
00:09:21BIT LONG
00:09:21LAUGHTER
00:09:21APPLAUSE
00:09:22APPLAUSE
00:09:22Exactly.
00:09:26APPLAUSE
00:09:26And thank you all
00:09:30for your questions.
00:09:31That's been very nice.
00:09:34That's good.
00:09:37APPLAUSE
00:09:37Right,
00:09:38it's Pete for Coley time.
00:09:40And once more, we've drawn them out of the hat.
00:09:42Well, they weren't in the hat, but we've drawn their names out of the hat.
00:09:44And we have four young people in different parts of the country
00:09:46ready to play Beat the Goalie.
00:09:49But before we do start playing, we'd like them to meet,
00:09:52all washing at home, we'd like them to meet our goalie of the night,
00:09:56someone we had at the beginning of the season,
00:09:58but we didn't have a chance to have a real chat to him.
00:10:00I know you're going to be very thrilled to meet Ray Clements.
00:10:10Well, I forgot to say, England's and Liverpool's football.
00:10:14Only just.
00:10:16But, you know, the last time... Welcome back, by the way.
00:10:19And the last time, we didn't get a chance to hear from you
00:10:21what you thought was the, you know, your sort of best hour and a half in the game.
00:10:26Well, I've had some great ties with Liverpool and England,
00:10:28but I think the 1977 European Cup final in Rome was the best.
00:10:32Oh, it's...
00:10:33Well, because we were only the second British side to win the European Cup.
00:10:36And it was a tremendous night for us.
00:10:38It was the same thing, which was Larry the week before,
00:10:41which makes it...
00:10:42I suppose, with it being a club and with it being the European...
00:10:45I suppose there's more, more to it, really.
00:10:47Well, it starts off with you've got to win your league championship
00:10:50to get into the European Cup, which is a tremendous effort anyway
00:10:53by a team to be consistent over 42 games.
00:10:56Of course.
00:10:56And, you know, you've won that,
00:10:58then you go into the Premier Trophy in Europe,
00:11:00and then to win it, and to be only, I say, the second side to win it,
00:11:03tremendous for the club and, of course, for all the players.
00:11:06Marvellous.
00:11:06Well, give all the boys our very kindest.
00:11:08Get in goal there.
00:11:09We'll be seeing you again before you leave.
00:11:11But get in the goal there, Ray, which you're very familiar to, I know,
00:11:14and we'll see who's on the line.
00:11:15Anybody there?
00:11:16Hello?
00:11:17Hello?
00:11:18Hello!
00:11:19Who's that?
00:11:20Stephen McElwam.
00:11:21Oh, who?
00:11:22Stephen McElwam.
00:11:24McElwam.
00:11:26McElwam.
00:11:26Yes.
00:11:27Oh, I say.
00:11:28McElwam.
00:11:28Oh, if you get used to it, McElwam.
00:11:30It sounds like a good name for some whiskey.
00:11:31McElwam.
00:11:32Yeah, and how old are you, Stephen?
00:11:33Fifteen.
00:11:34Fifteen.
00:11:34And where'd you come from?
00:11:36Linwood.
00:11:36Yeah, whereabouts is that?
00:11:38It's near Paisley.
00:11:39Oh, near Paisley.
00:11:40I see.
00:11:41And what school do you go to?
00:11:42St. Brendan's High.
00:11:43St. Brendan's High.
00:11:45Yes.
00:11:45Oh, is it a mixed school?
00:11:46Yes.
00:11:47Oh, mixed school.
00:11:47Do you wear kilts?
00:11:49No.
00:11:49Oh, do the girls wear kilts?
00:11:51No.
00:11:51Oh.
00:11:52It's a young nudist colony we're on to.
00:11:54I tell you, it's all happening up there.
00:11:56And what's your favourite subject, Stephen?
00:11:58English.
00:11:59Oh, you like foreign languages.
00:12:03Oh, and I heard something.
00:12:04Is that right?
00:12:04Your father works in the aero industry?
00:12:07Yes.
00:12:07Oh, does he put all the bubble, bubble, bubbles in the chocolate?
00:12:09Does he?
00:12:15Does he, Stephen?
00:12:17No.
00:12:17Oh, what does he do then?
00:12:19Er, he's a tool setter in Rolls-Royce.
00:12:21Oh, Rolls-Royce, that kind of aero.
00:12:23Yeah.
00:12:23Oh, I see.
00:12:24And how long has he been doing that?
00:12:25Oh, about 15 years or so.
00:12:2715 years.
00:12:28Oh, right.
00:12:28Well, give him our love, won't you?
00:12:30And your mum's okay?
00:12:31Yes.
00:12:31Good.
00:12:31Any hobbies?
00:12:32Er, I like football programmes.
00:12:35Oh, so does London Weekend Television.
00:12:41I'm not going to get the blame for that.
00:12:43Right.
00:12:43Any hates at all?
00:12:45Er, getting up.
00:12:47Getting up in the morning?
00:12:49Yes.
00:12:49And anything else?
00:12:50Er, cleaning my shoes.
00:12:52So you don't like getting up and cleaning your shoes?
00:12:53So you don't like to rise and shine?
00:12:57Okay, you're blingy.
00:13:00I see.
00:13:00Any ambitions at all, Stephen?
00:13:03Er, I would like to go to America.
00:13:04Oh, yes.
00:13:05Possibly Hollywood.
00:13:06Oh, yeah.
00:13:06Well, that's a bit of luck.
00:13:07They're in the same place.
00:13:10So good luck with that.
00:13:11I hope it all works out.
00:13:11Now, you know the rules?
00:13:12Yes.
00:13:13Well, now, Ray Clements is in goal there already and waiting for you.
00:13:16So, in your own time, it's against the clock.
00:13:18You do know that, don't you?
00:13:19Yes.
00:13:20All right.
00:13:20Off you go, then.
00:13:21Good luck to you, Stephen, starting from now.
00:13:23Right.
00:13:27Fire.
00:13:28Oh, what a good shot.
00:13:29Oh, that was a sneaky one.
00:13:33That was a sneaky one.
00:13:34And the time was 5.08.
00:13:36So you're doing all right.
00:13:37You'd better stay on the line, Steve.
00:13:39Right.
00:13:39And who have I got now?
00:13:41Anybody there?
00:13:41Hello?
00:13:42Hello?
00:13:43Who's that?
00:13:44Helen Jenks.
00:13:45Helen Jenks.
00:13:45All right, it's not a secret.
00:13:47Speak up, Helen.
00:13:48How old are you, dear?
00:13:49Sixteen.
00:13:49Sixteen.
00:13:50I see.
00:13:50And where do you live, darling?
00:13:52Lisvane, Cardiff.
00:13:53Oh, in Cardiff.
00:13:54Where?
00:13:54What part?
00:13:55It's five miles just outside the centre.
00:13:57Yeah, what's the name of it?
00:13:58You are sneaky, aren't you?
00:14:00Lisvane.
00:14:02Lisvane?
00:14:02Yes.
00:14:03Oh, I see.
00:14:03And what school do you go to?
00:14:04Lanishen High.
00:14:06Lanishen High?
00:14:06Yeah.
00:14:07Would you give me the whole, because I love to hear the Welsh voice.
00:14:09It's got such a, it is a singing kind of voice.
00:14:11Could you give me the whole address of your school?
00:14:14It's Heal Her, Lanishen.
00:14:15Where was that?
00:14:16Heal Her, Lanishen.
00:14:17Oh, yeah.
00:14:18Do you go by boat?
00:14:20Have you got any pets, Helen?
00:14:21No, just a brother and sister.
00:14:23Oh, I see.
00:14:27I bet you put them to bed early, do you?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:29Are they older than you?
00:14:30Well, I've got a brother, 20.
00:14:32Oh, I see.
00:14:32Sister, 10.
00:14:34A sister, 10?
00:14:34Oh, only 10.
00:14:35And you're 16?
00:14:36Yeah, sir.
00:14:37So there's quite a gap in between, then, isn't there?
00:14:39According to Mum, it was rather a surprise.
00:14:42Yeah, I bet it wasn't a surprise to your dad.
00:14:45I see.
00:14:46What does your dad do, by the way?
00:14:48He's a shop fitter.
00:14:49A shop lifter?
00:14:50No, I'm a fitter.
00:14:51A what?
00:14:52A shop fitter.
00:14:52Oh, a shop fitter.
00:14:53Sobby, dear.
00:14:54That could have been nasty, couldn't it?
00:14:55And what does your mum do?
00:14:57She's an audio typist in Lloyds Bank.
00:15:00Oh, in the bank?
00:15:01Yeah.
00:15:01You sure he's not a shop lifter?
00:15:03And you haven't got any pets at all?
00:15:05No.
00:15:05Not even a Welsh rabbit?
00:15:08Welsh rabbit.
00:15:10Yes, fine, never mind.
00:15:11Right, any ambitions, dear?
00:15:12Yes, I'd like to travel.
00:15:14You want to travel?
00:15:15And anything else?
00:15:15What do you want to do when you grow up?
00:15:16Oh, I'm thinking of being a teacher.
00:15:18Teacher?
00:15:19Well, that would be a marvellous job.
00:15:20Well, I hope you get all you want.
00:15:21All right, Madonna, if you won the ÂŖ50, what would you do with it?
00:15:24Er, I'd give it to a charity, the Helen Jenks Fund.
00:15:27Would you really?
00:15:28Well, that's very nice, Helen.
00:15:30That's beautiful.
00:15:30I forgot to ask Stephen what he does with his, but he's Scottish, so, you know.
00:15:35There's no real point, is there?
00:15:36But that's very nice, darling.
00:15:37Now, are you ready?
00:15:38Yes.
00:15:39You are, my darling.
00:15:40OK, then, well, now, you know the rules.
00:15:42Mm-hm.
00:15:42Ray's waiting there.
00:15:43You've got ÂŖ508 to beat, starting from now.
00:15:46Right.
00:15:49Shoot.
00:15:52Yes!
00:15:52Well done, darling.
00:15:55Well done, indeed.
00:15:56ÂŖ478.
00:15:58So, you're in the lead.
00:15:59All right, then, so stay on the line.
00:16:01Now, who's there now?
00:16:02Gary Bennett.
00:16:03Gary Bennett.
00:16:04Hello, Gary.
00:16:05Hello.
00:16:05How old are you?
00:16:07Fifteen.
00:16:07I see, and where'd you come from?
00:16:09Rugeley.
00:16:10Yeah, Rugeley, I see.
00:16:11Where's that?
00:16:11Oh, Staffordshire, isn't it?
00:16:12Yes.
00:16:13Yes, and what school do you go to?
00:16:14How you're quite comprehensive.
00:16:15Oh, yeah, is that mixed?
00:16:17Yes.
00:16:17Any nice girls in your class?
00:16:19Not really.
00:16:20Not really?
00:16:20None to speak of?
00:16:22No.
00:16:22No crushes?
00:16:23No.
00:16:23I see.
00:16:24What is your...
00:16:24How's your mum?
00:16:25She's all right, thank you.
00:16:26Give her our love.
00:16:26What does she do?
00:16:27She's a lady of leisure.
00:16:32You cheeky monkey.
00:16:33Oh, she'll give you one for that.
00:16:35And how's your dad?
00:16:36She's all right, thank you.
00:16:37And what does he do?
00:16:38She's a senior district officer for local government.
00:16:40Oh, he doesn't work either then?
00:16:44I see.
00:16:45Any pets, my darling?
00:16:47Yes, I've got a dog.
00:16:48Oh, a dog?
00:16:49What's he called?
00:16:50Bimbo.
00:16:51Oh, bimbo.
00:16:52Oh, I see.
00:16:53Now then, if you won the ÂŖ50, what would you do with it?
00:16:56Oh, I don't know.
00:16:58Pass by a season ticket for Nottingham Forest.
00:17:00A season ticket for Nottingham Forest?
00:17:02They're doing well, aren't they?
00:17:03Yeah.
00:17:03They are.
00:17:04All right then, Gary.
00:17:05Okay, well, good luck to you.
00:17:06There's Ray Clements waiting there.
00:17:07So you've got 478 to beat, starting from now.
00:17:11Right.
00:17:14Fire.
00:17:16Oh!
00:17:16It was a good time, a good time, but bad luck, Gary.
00:17:22Bye-bye now.
00:17:22Love to the family.
00:17:23And who have I got on the line now?
00:17:25Andrew Melvin.
00:17:26Andrew Melvin.
00:17:27And how old are you, Melvin?
00:17:2816.
00:17:28I mean, Andrew.
00:17:2916?
00:17:3016.
00:17:30And where are you from?
00:17:31Aberdeen.
00:17:32Oh, Aberdeen.
00:17:33Did you reverse the charges?
00:17:35I'm saying all this about the Scots, but I'm a Scot myself, you know.
00:17:38Brewst for safe.
00:17:39I am, really.
00:17:41Scottish Ancestry.
00:17:42What school do you go to?
00:17:43Robert Gordon's College.
00:17:45Oh, I see.
00:17:45Robert Gordon's College.
00:17:46And how's your father?
00:17:48Fine.
00:17:48Is he all right?
00:17:49Yes.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50What does he do?
00:17:50He's a solicitor.
00:17:51Oh, is he?
00:17:52So he's not only your father, he's your father-in-law.
00:17:57And how's Matt?
00:17:58She's fine.
00:17:59She's all right.
00:18:00Any pets?
00:18:01Yes, I have two dogs, Lucy and Jerry.
00:18:03What are they?
00:18:04Dash ants.
00:18:05Oh, yeah?
00:18:05What kind?
00:18:06Er, wild-haired.
00:18:08Wired-haired?
00:18:09Uh-huh.
00:18:10Long.
00:18:10Wiry-haired?
00:18:11Uh-huh.
00:18:12Dash ants.
00:18:13They're the short ones, aren't they?
00:18:14Yeah.
00:18:15I mean, they don't have to make a mess of the carpet.
00:18:17Goodness sake.
00:18:18And what's your favourite food?
00:18:19Er, Smarties and a few less clop.
00:18:24All on the same plate?
00:18:25Yes.
00:18:26Well, I shouldn't think so.
00:18:28Although Smarties, you can have dreams in Technicolor.
00:18:30I see.
00:18:31Any favourite entertainment?
00:18:32I like listening to Pink Floyd and Stranglers.
00:18:35Oh, you go wrestling?
00:18:36Don't worry about that.
00:18:38If you won the 50 quid, what would you do with it?
00:18:40I'd help to buy a stereo equipment.
00:18:43Stereo equipment?
00:18:44Uh-huh.
00:18:44I see.
00:18:45All right, then.
00:18:45Well, good luck tonight.
00:18:47Ray Clements already and waiting there.
00:18:49So, if you're ready, off we go.
00:18:52You have 478 to beat, starting from now.
00:18:55Right.
00:18:56Right.
00:18:58Right.
00:18:58Fire.
00:19:00Oh!
00:19:01Bad luck.
00:19:01Bad luck, Andrew.
00:19:04Bad luck indeed.
00:19:05So, there we are.
00:19:07Helen Jenks is our winner, yet again, a little girl.
00:19:11I still can't believe it.
00:19:12Helen, are you there?
00:19:13Yeah.
00:19:13All right, my darling.
00:19:14Well, you can give the 50 quid to the charity, which was a lovely thought anyway.
00:19:18And we'll see you here next week and you'll have a lovely day with us, I promise you.
00:19:23Right, thank you very much.
00:19:24And we'll go for a major prize.
00:19:26Thank you again, Helen Jenks.
00:19:27Bye-bye, love.
00:19:27Bye-bye.
00:19:28Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.
00:19:31Okay.
00:19:33And, of course, another thank you to the wonderful goalkeeper, Ray Clements, over there.
00:19:40Thank you, Ray.
00:19:41Nice.
00:19:42And before we bring back our winner of last week, which was Sally Wright, we welcome
00:19:49to our show our celebrity goalkeeper.
00:19:51A great mate of mine, I'd like you now to welcome, well, what could you say, Henry Cooper.
00:19:56Thank you very much.
00:20:26Have you ever done any goalkeeping before?
00:20:28Oh, blubber, I'm the greatest.
00:20:29Oh, I was, I was.
00:20:31The trouble was, it was.
00:20:32What are you talking about Kenny Lynch for?
00:20:33Oh, yeah.
00:20:34I was a great goalkeeper, yeah.
00:20:37The trouble was, it was in boxing, I used to stop everything.
00:20:41I like that.
00:20:46Anyway, we want you to be a goalkeeper, you know, we want you to stop, well, we don't
00:20:50want you to be too good.
00:20:50All right, then.
00:20:51So, we want you to meet the little lady who won last week and a very worthy winner,
00:20:55indeed, with the fastest time we've ever had on Beat the Goalie.
00:20:59It was 3.98.
00:21:01So, we welcome our winner from last week, Sally Wright.
00:21:04You did do well, didn't you?
00:21:14Isn't it how fast it's done?
00:21:15Have you met Henry?
00:21:16No.
00:21:16So, lovely to meet you.
00:21:18All right, then.
00:21:18He's a lovely lad, isn't he?
00:21:19All right, then.
00:21:20Now, then, my darling, you know what you've got to do?
00:21:24Henry knows what he's got to do, but we hope he's not going to be too good, but I think
00:21:27you were so good last week with a 3.99.
00:21:29Anyway, off you go there, Henry.
00:21:31Into the goal.
00:21:31Thank you again.
00:21:32And if you'll come over here, Sally, how are the rest of the family?
00:21:35All right?
00:21:35Yes.
00:21:35They're all OK?
00:21:36Yeah.
00:21:37Are they proud of you for winning?
00:21:38Yeah.
00:21:39Eh?
00:21:39They were all thrilled with it.
00:21:40Good, good, good.
00:21:42Henry's there.
00:21:42All right, Henry?
00:21:43Oh.
00:21:44Whoa.
00:21:45Whoa.
00:21:45Oh, dear.
00:21:46Lovely.
00:21:47All right, then.
00:21:48So, you've got two out of three to get past him, darling.
00:21:51All right, 20 seconds, starting from now.
00:21:57Oh!
00:21:58Oh, yes.
00:22:00Well done.
00:22:02He's got his right hand to it.
00:22:05Yeah, his left hand is the dangerous one, you see, so you're good to go for the right
00:22:08one.
00:22:09Yeah, he's got that left one's dangerous.
00:22:10All right, then.
00:22:11Off we go, then.
00:22:12You've got plenty of time left, starting from now.
00:22:15Oh, yes.
00:22:18Oh, oh, look, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:22:20You'll be so thrilled if the family's watching.
00:22:24All right, Henry?
00:22:26Good.
00:22:26Off we go, then.
00:22:27You've got loads of time left, but you do really need this one.
00:22:30He's in good form, I think, by the look of the fella.
00:22:32Off we go, starting from now.
00:22:37Oh.
00:22:37Oh!
00:22:38Oh, darling.
00:22:41Oh, what a shame.
00:22:43Oh.
00:22:43Oh, what are we going to do with you?
00:22:46What are we going to do with her?
00:22:48What should we do?
00:22:49Give her the hell to God.
00:22:50Oh, Lord.
00:22:51What should we do with her?
00:22:54What are we going to do, God?
00:22:56Should we let her have one more go?
00:22:58Yes!
00:23:00Yes, go on.
00:23:01Yes.
00:23:04Thank you, God.
00:23:05You're a good'un.
00:23:07Right, OK, then.
00:23:08Got loads of time left, starting from now.
00:23:10Just one more, I think.
00:23:24Fills up the excitement, yes.
00:23:26Open your legs out, Henry.
00:23:32It'd be good if we could.
00:23:33Hey, let's go for that, through his legs, yes.
00:23:36Is it in the centre?
00:23:36Well...
00:23:38APPLAUSE
00:23:40LAUGHTER
00:23:42APPLAUSE
00:23:44It was the best one.
00:23:46It was the piece of paper.
00:23:50Right!
00:23:51I mean, this phase, you did no work!
00:23:53LAUGHTER
00:23:53Oh, you'll be sick as a pig about that, you really.
00:23:56Right, for now, darling, my darling,
00:23:58standing right, on the bachelor's-o-meter tonight,
00:24:00we have a set of encyclopedias...
00:24:03spilt wrong.
00:24:03but don't write letters to us it is spelt wrong it should be a in there anyway there we are a
00:24:12watch which is a beautiful watch that is a guitar we have a tv game ding dong ding dong the cine
00:24:17kit which is the whole bit a beautiful set of luggage we have a really first class camera
00:24:21we have a tv cassette a portable television that's a colored portable television and a stereo at the
00:24:28top what have you got thoughts on the stereo everybody wants a stereo yeah right okay
00:24:35now off you go darling i usually help the girl but at least have a go to start with all right
00:24:40then now give it a good bash have you ever done anything like this before no she's a bit weak
00:24:45in the wrist i think all right lift it all right well don't hit your head you nearly did that
00:24:50baby head right off you go
00:24:52how old are you for goodness sake 15 well there's no harm in that for goodness
00:25:13you all right you sure all right well it's a shooter
00:25:18you want me to have a go or do you want it one more go eh what do you want the stereo
00:25:27right get out of the way all right
00:25:30stereo did you make it right well it looked like it right okay stereo coming up right
00:25:37i'm running the whole thing don't worry henry might need you for this in a minute all right
00:25:50get him ready right okay stereo coming up
00:25:53and what about to ray have you got the 50 quid ray well done there we are my darling
00:26:22thank you thank you right you don't have to thank me you've been marvelous well done
00:26:41well done sally wright a worthy winner
00:26:43well done sally wright and we'll see helen jenks next week see you soon
00:26:53welcome back and let's meet her and let's greet her
00:27:08welcome back and let's meet her and let's greet her the lovely anthea
00:27:24it's very rita hayworth time and all that isn't it it's the kind of things they used to wear
00:27:38yeah love it like it i like it good bruce you know that question time spot that i did last week
00:27:46oh yeah how can i forget it well it wasn't fair because i had to deal with this horrible man in
00:27:51the audience that that horrible man in the audience happened to be me well exactly i want
00:27:57to do it with very normal people what the way i do with people just throwing questions that you
00:28:02ad-lib and all that kind of and you just answer it yes yes i'd love for a marvelous idea yes yeah
00:28:12that's great yes center that's in the center don't worry thank you now can we have all the lights up
00:28:18again please lovely now remember you mustn't ask your questions till the microphone gets to you
00:28:24good now have we got a question the lady there in the gray suit last week you asked if there was a
00:28:31lil in the audience yes this week you've got a lil go on get out of that
00:28:46well perhaps if we've got another lily in the audience we could have
00:28:49is there another lily in the audience i can't say that i can't i can't possibly come on come on
00:29:00it's a big laugh no all right i'll do it is there another lily in the audience good quick one more
00:29:08lily we could have a funeral yes all right just a minute hold on okay what's it like to be married
00:29:23to a more mature man absolutely lovely well who let her in go on down this question has been asked
00:29:37many many times mainly by the press the sort of the age difference and this kind of thing
00:29:42i don't think it has any effect as far as we're concerned at all because quite honestly when it
00:29:47comes to the age bit and the maturity i am far older and far far more mature so it really doesn't
00:29:56make any difference at all it's he's a lot of fun in fact he's a big kid at heart so
00:30:03myself then so i have to try it myself
00:30:08you've got to get past me first
00:30:09oh that was lovely you did that very well didn't she do that well you really do
00:30:24well now ladies and gentlemen it's time for our contestants they're all ready for the big night
00:30:28screen test this is the first part because the final is the big crunch but you know you jury up
00:30:33there you're going to mark these people on improvisation quick-wittedness and personality
00:30:39that's what it's all about so is our first contestant ready there anthea
00:30:46and this is michael foote oh michael michael foote
00:30:52he's 41 yes married comes from colchester and is a marketing assistant for an oil company oh yes
00:30:58well no crude remarks what company is it by the way bp oil oh bp oh yeah yeah yeah blooming pricey yes
00:31:06he's wife is sandra oh sandra foot sandra foot have you any uh any little tiny feet pittering
00:31:15around the three three does she make them play out the back frequently oh yes three feet in the yard
00:31:21they're still going around that one you'll get there in the end yes sorry they've still got a what
00:31:29they've got a dog called choo choo oh choo yeah is it well trained oh yes yes
00:31:34yes mike's hobby is small bore shooting oh well i'm over six foot so i must be able to get your
00:31:47beady eye off me anyway thank you for being with us thank you my darling and here there we are now
00:31:52then off we go this is a true experience that actually happened to you let's make that clear
00:31:56all right they're fine off you go then michael a few years ago i was traveling on a district line
00:32:01train yes which was absolutely jam-packed full with football supporters there were thousands of them
00:32:05yes yes and i was standing up by the doors hanging onto a handle yeah and opposite me was a city gent
00:32:12very superior type bowler hat stiff white collar club tie briefcase also hanging onto a handle
00:32:19being pushed and shoved by all these cheering football supporters and he didn't like this at all
00:32:23yeah finally the train got to full and broadway and the doors opened on his side yeah and they
00:32:28started to surge out and he was being pushed further and further back by this great crowd yeah
00:32:35still grimly hanging on until finally his handle snapped
00:32:42and there was a look of disbelief and terror on his face yeah and with a cry he was swept out and was
00:32:49disappeared finally he sort of after the football crowd had gone he staggered back on still the bowl
00:32:57hat was skewiff and the tie was out there and the briefcase was there but he still had hold of this
00:33:05and he said to me he said and what on earth am i supposed to do with this
00:33:19i'd like to see that i really would all right michael now then here's your limerick here we go a doctor
00:33:29told children at bray i don't like pop music today the racket one fears will damage your ears and the few
00:33:38brains you have will decay well done indeed thank you michael for being with us and who have we got
00:33:55now that was bad as well wasn't it tripped over you gotta laugh it's getting on now and this is
00:34:04jonathan berman yes yes single 19 from liverpool i see good he's a salesman in a record shop uh-huh
00:34:10he likes reading and has just read frankie howard's autobiography oh you like fiction
00:34:15i shouldn't say that because frank we're such pals we are we're such pals he loves me like a brother
00:34:21i'm glad to say oh god
00:34:24better than a sister all right what was that better than a sister oh yes yes right
00:34:31i could watch him all right then he has a dog called sandy and when his sister plays the piano
00:34:38the dog starts singing with her oh what does she play bark oh you swore well yeah go on uh he has
00:34:44met leo sayer oh yeah and he thinks just for carrot is fantastic well i'm sure leo sayer will be thrilled
00:34:50to about that that's what it says that's what it says there anyway welcome and thank you again
00:34:59anthea my darling and jonathan berman all right then from liverpool is that right johnny good well now
00:35:04this is a experience that actually happened to you it did yeah and uh happened in the lake district
00:35:09we went in the lake district yes and stayed on a my friend's boat and uh we decided to go out one
00:35:16night and we all had a few drinks and when we came back we were quite poetic to say the least anyway we
00:35:24start walking along this small gun pack which is pretty narrow yeah and i decided to do me rudolf nureyev
00:35:30act which uh when you're pretty drunk you it's not very good anyway so i get halfway across and i
00:35:38stumble in and i fall into the water and there's a great big din uh being made and the marina manager
00:35:45came along and he saw what was happening he says what do you think you're doing i said nothing you
00:35:51know swimming so he said uh i'm gonna get you for this he says you haven't got a leg to stand on now have
00:35:58you very good very good had that actually happened to you jonathan fine well now is the other bit
00:36:10coming up now all right then okay this is the limerick bit a heavyweight boxer named len was a
00:36:16failure among fighting men each morning this creep could be found fast asleep he never used to get up
00:36:24before 10 so well done indeed there so thank you for being with us jonathan and who have we got next
00:36:46and this is ed sherman yes he's 28 and lives in mill hill oh yes i used to live there for quite a
00:36:51while yes good good he went to manchester university oh here's your starter for 10.
00:36:57he got an honors degree in economic economics and accountancy yes yes good good and ed is in the
00:37:03footwear business oh yes he's on his uppers i could tell that what he came his wife liz is five years
00:37:09older than ed five years older than you oh really that's handy didn't take you into x films
00:37:13uh he proposed to her because he decided his rampant days were over oh well i hope for her sake that
00:37:24they don't come back i really do but you're all right you're happy yes fine fine anything else about
00:37:29him yes he likes doing impressions oh who do you impressions of norman wisdom oh yeah yeah anybody
00:37:34else um rigsby rigsby do you know because we love him lennon rossner do do rigsby for us
00:37:41morning tj morning
00:37:55all right then um ed welcome to the uh the club and all that sort of thing and you've got a little
00:38:00not a rigsby story but your own story actually happened or at least it actually happened yes it
00:38:04actually happened tell us yes well i used to work can i turn of course well i used to work for a
00:38:09chain of department stores and uh these department stores had a manager for each section so they'd
00:38:14have a manager for ladies knitwear and men's knitwear and ladies trousers and men's trousers
00:38:18and the job of the managers was to look after the section yeah and deal with all the complaints
00:38:22etc anyway yeah i was in charge of the food section so it was one saturday it was very busy
00:38:28saturday's always busy in the food section i think you know what it's like the husbands come
00:38:32out with the wives they think it's brands hatched with the trolleys you know round the round the
00:38:35vegetable island on two wheels yes i still i tell you i stood there between savory snacks and jellies
00:38:41i thought it was like the main course on point jesus come on come on anyway so i'm stood there on
00:38:48the food section yeah and all of a sudden this woman walks up to me she says um good me young man
00:38:55yes madam what can i do for you she said um i've got a complaint about one of your products
00:39:07now don't push me off
00:39:11i said you've got a complaint about one of the products yeah yeah yeah i said what's what's
00:39:15the uh what's the problem he said it's me tight i said you're tight i said well i don't normally work
00:39:21in ladies underwear but um what what's what's the problem he said they're torn at the top
00:39:33i said they're torn at the top okay yes so i said well if you'd like to bring them in
00:39:39i'll have a look at them and if they're 40 he said i've got them with me
00:39:44so i said well you know if you'd like to show them to me then if they're 40 we'll change them so
00:39:48i bear in mind we're in the middle of a food section it was like oxford street on christmas eve
00:39:55you said i'm not them i said if she was shown to me she said certainly
00:40:02thank you
00:40:17great right well now ed now this is your other test all right then coming up and usherette said it's
00:40:23obscene the things that at times i have seen down in our back row it's disgraceful i know what some
00:40:31people do with ice cream
00:40:46how did we get on anthia well ed sherman has won with 44 points i thought so yes
00:40:52yes very well done and here's your gold bruisey for the mantle piece or anywhere else all right
00:41:02then polish it every day won't you all right then yeah he's not so bad to live with and for all our
00:41:07losers they will be getting a silver one thank you very much linda and uh all right you're ready
00:41:12now for the final of the big night screen test yes it should be a lot of fun this week i think you'll
00:41:18you should be very good actually all right then you can play it as rigsby if you like would you like
00:41:24would you like him to play his rigsby do it as rigsby please and i think it'll be marvelous
00:41:29okay i really do all right then jolly good see you later then
00:41:38looking forward to that myself and now instant replay a very moving moment provided by 16 of the best
00:41:45movers in the business ladies and gentlemen our dynamic dancers 32 feet
00:42:02let's do it again
00:42:10let's do it again
00:42:28you keep
00:42:57I feel so good about us
00:43:06I found a shining star
00:43:09And when I look into your eyes
00:43:14It's magic
00:43:15Instant replay
00:43:20Oh, God, I have it, man
00:43:22Instant replay
00:43:24Oh, oh, oh, yeah
00:43:25Instant replay
00:43:27Got me floating on a cloud
00:43:30Got me dancing all around
00:43:33All around, all around
00:43:35Instant replay
00:43:38Instant replay
00:43:40Instant replay
00:43:42Instant replay
00:43:43Instant replay
00:43:45You got me floating on a cloud
00:43:49Got me dancing all around
00:43:51All around, all around
00:43:53Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, 32 feet, 4 inches, and now it's time for the
00:44:15big night screen test, this time we've chosen the greatest story ever told, until tonight
00:44:21that is, or as Mrs Thatcher was once described, the greatest story ever sold, anyway, we've
00:44:28chosen the scene between Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, now Eve will be played tonight
00:44:34in all innocence, and not much else I'm glad to say, by the delectable Madeleine Smith,
00:44:39and Adam will be played by our winning screen tester, Ed Sherman, good luck, I will play the
00:45:00part of the tree and the serpent, serpent tree, tree, serpent, anyway, the scene is where Eve
00:45:19tempts Adam, what a stupid fool, I might say, where Eve tempts Adam with the apple, and when
00:45:26you think of it, folks, hasn't that Cox's Orange Pippin got a lot to answer for, you can't
00:45:32blame Granny Smith, dear old soul, she's passed it anyway, nevertheless, ladies and gentlemen,
00:45:3820th Century Forsythe proudly presents the greatest story ever told, action, action, action, action,
00:45:46action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action, action
00:46:16Guess who, my love?
00:46:31Ooh! Um...
00:46:33Um...
00:46:34Just a minute, just a minute. I can't think.
00:46:37Oh, dear. Cut! Come on, for goodness sake.
00:46:40You're the only two human beings on the world, for goodness sake.
00:46:43You're the only two. I mean, we're at the beginning of time.
00:46:47Now, come over here. Look, look.
00:46:48I should have told you before, you've got to play this...
00:46:51LAUGHTER
00:46:52You've got to play this in all innocence
00:46:55until we get to the apple bit. That's the crunch.
00:46:58LAUGHTER
00:46:59All right, then. And I love the soup. Where'd you get it? Millets?
00:47:02LAUGHTER
00:47:03Or moss-bross?
00:47:05LAUGHTER
00:47:06Anyway, don't worry about a thing. Now, come on again.
00:47:09Don't forget, you're the first man in the world, you know,
00:47:11so you're a bit Tarzan-like. All right, then.
00:47:13A bit Tarzan-like. Do it again and come to the centre there
00:47:16when you come on this time. We'll cut that first.
00:47:18Yes. I don't think we'll need that. We'll go straight from here.
00:47:20All right, then? OK.
00:47:22Cut!
00:47:24Right. Action.
00:47:27LAUGHTER
00:47:28LAUGHTER
00:47:29Adam!
00:47:32LAUGHTER
00:47:33How do you know my name?
00:47:39LAUGHTER
00:47:40Wait two... Wait two seconds and feel your chest.
00:47:42LAUGHTER
00:47:44What are you doing?
00:47:46Shut up!
00:47:48LAUGHTER
00:47:49LAUGHTER
00:47:50This is...
00:47:51Wait two seconds and feel your... That's the stage direction.
00:47:54LAUGHTER
00:47:55I'm glad you felt your own chest as well.
00:47:57LAUGHTER
00:47:58Well, Rigsby going mad. Now, come on.
00:48:00Do it from the top again. How do you know my name?
00:48:03How do you know my name? And then go to the next bit.
00:48:06All right, then use your loaves.
00:48:07Right. Right. Cut!
00:48:09Action!
00:48:11How do you know my name?
00:48:13I've got this pain in my side.
00:48:14It feels as if someone's dug me in the ribs.
00:48:17LAUGHTER
00:48:18I know, Adam.
00:48:19While you were asleep, you had a rib taken away.
00:48:22And I was made out of it.
00:48:25That explains it. I woke up feeling like a bit of a spare.
00:48:32LAUGHTER
00:48:34You're right.
00:48:36Feel a rib, please.
00:48:37Yes, rib!
00:48:38LAUGHTER
00:48:39I woke up feeling like a bit of spare rib.
00:48:42LAUGHTER
00:48:43I'm feeling like a bit of spare, but...
00:48:46LAUGHTER
00:48:48You've got to pride us in all innocence.
00:48:51Don't move around too much with that on.
00:48:52If that goes, we're finished.
00:48:56All right, then.
00:48:57I hope a breeze doesn't spring up. Anyway...
00:48:59All right, then, I do the...
00:49:01You carry on, Maddie, for goodness sake.
00:49:03I can't! Action!
00:49:04Adam! Adam!
00:49:06Don't you realise what this means?
00:49:08You're a man.
00:49:10And I'm a woman.
00:49:11Oh, so we haven't got much in common, then?
00:49:13LAUGHTER
00:49:15No, there isn't very much we can do together.
00:49:19Psss! Psss! Psss!
00:49:22Are you all right, Eve?
00:49:23It's me!
00:49:24LAUGHTER
00:49:28I haven't got much of a part, have I?
00:49:29But let me get in somewhere.
00:49:31LAUGHTER
00:49:34I can't even get in with a...
00:49:35Psss!
00:49:36Psss!
00:49:40What is it, Mr Snake?
00:49:42There's another things you can do together.
00:49:45Look!
00:49:46Look!
00:49:47Look!
00:49:48Over there!
00:49:49Psss!
00:49:50Look at those two young fawns, rubbing noses.
00:49:53Psss!
00:49:54Psss!
00:49:55Oh, yes!
00:49:56Hold on!
00:49:57LAUGHTER
00:49:58Let me finish me...
00:49:59Psss!
00:50:00That's all I ask!
00:50:02Just finish me...
00:50:03Psss!
00:50:04Come on, Adam.
00:50:06Let's try it.
00:50:07Let's rub noses like the fawns.
00:50:09Come along.
00:50:10Well, it's no skin off my nose.
00:50:12LAUGHTER
00:50:15You are Jewish, aren't you?
00:50:19LAUGHTER
00:50:20No, a tree fell on me!
00:50:21LAUGHTER
00:50:23Psss!
00:50:24Psss!
00:50:25Psss!
00:50:26Psss!
00:50:27Oh, look over there!
00:50:29Look at those two bears hugging!
00:50:32Psss!
00:50:33Hugging each other!
00:50:34Oh, yes!
00:50:35Come on, Adam.
00:50:36Let's try it.
00:50:37They hug.
00:50:38Let's hug each other!
00:50:39LAUGHTER
00:50:41Psss!
00:50:42Psss!
00:50:43All right, all right, all right!
00:50:45LAUGHTER
00:50:46Think of that old woman in your shop.
00:50:48Right.
00:50:49Psss!
00:50:51Psss!
00:50:52Psss!
00:50:53Psss!
00:50:54Psss!
00:50:55Look!
00:50:56Look at those rabbits!
00:50:57Look at the rabbits!
00:50:58Psss!
00:50:59Oh, yes!
00:51:00Come on, Adam.
00:51:01come on Adam let's do what the rabbits do ah that's what I call fun never mind
00:51:12all that never mind all that get forget the carrot wouldn't you prefer that nice
00:51:17that's very funny isn't it who brought their dog with them eh well you've done everything else to me
00:51:35you've written near me and that's the finish I'll tell you that I can't get out of this quick either
00:51:41wouldn't you prefer that nice juicy apple over there no I couldn't do that mr. snake that's
00:51:52sir forbidden fruit you get the apple no don't tempt me get that dog out the bloody way right
00:52:01go on go on Adam do something stop him play the pipe right play the carrot for the sake show the
00:52:14carrot away
00:52:25what do you get the apple give me apple off the tree come on crosses to get apple
00:52:43you'll have a cross of a different sort in a minute what's going on son can't you read to
00:52:51yourself go over to the without crosses to get apple go on okay get the apple
00:52:57fruit is going up isn't it all the time it's going very funny you up there as well I suppose you've
00:53:08been up there all day waiting for that haven't you right up there I hope you get a nosebleed I can
00:53:14see you and the same to you give us a pair of shit oh good thank you Ollie Ollie if it wasn't for
00:53:23you are packing in now Ollie rely on get it with that all right then okay when I tell you about
00:53:29that action cut cut cut action cut cut action that's it
00:53:39that's it
00:53:43up here
00:53:46made a laugh and stuck at the whole thing ever since you came on
00:53:51have we got a shot of that oh yeah god for goodness sake give us the apple Ollie give us the apple
00:54:05here the apple the apple Ollie but oh the apple please Ollie but give me him give me anything give me
00:54:15the apple please Ollie oh
00:54:18now wait a minute I want to ask you I've been meaning to ask you all day long is that right when I pulled
00:54:28you into the sketch last week you got 15 quid extra
00:54:32no
00:54:33the boys said you did now come on truth
00:54:38I got nothing well get off then
00:54:40you've heard the same this week
00:54:44right now come here
00:54:46oh the boys said he got 15 quid extra I was going to be in on it right
00:54:49this is the big bit now in all innocence it's the tempting with the apple all right then okay here we go all right then
00:54:55here you are Adam
00:54:57take a bite of the apple
00:55:00take it
00:55:01a bigger one Adam
00:55:03bigger
00:55:04huge
00:55:06huge
00:55:10now do the face do the Les Dawson face
00:55:13yes sir
00:55:15do the glasses put the glasses on
00:55:18get the Les Dawson you know the Cosmo small piece
00:55:21now give her a look like that go on
00:55:23all right
00:55:27come on look at that face couldn't turn a tap on right
00:55:30now this is your big line coming out of it keep eating keep eating
00:55:34the more you eat the more you you know
00:55:36the end of the picture the big climax it'll be over there in a minute cut cut
00:55:42put everything into the final bit now the acting bit right here we go the last bit coming up now
00:55:47right action
00:55:48Adam what has that apple done to you
00:55:51come on boy what are you trying to say
00:55:57four
00:55:58four
00:56:00i tell you something what about it
00:56:08love
00:56:10love
00:56:17and we've still got the song
00:56:18apple
00:56:19and you'll teacher
00:56:20what love is all about
00:56:22traveling along
00:56:24singing us all
00:56:25side
00:56:26side
00:56:27side
00:56:28side
00:56:32yes
00:56:34Yes!
00:56:39What about him? Thank you!
00:56:47I'll tell you something, if you ever want to leave that shop, let us know.
00:56:51I think you've got a future in the business, don't you?
00:56:53Thank you very much.
00:56:54What was he like as a leading man?
00:56:55Fantastic!
00:56:56Well, thank you Maddy, you're always such fun to work with.
00:56:58Thank you for being with us. Madeline Smith, we thank you.
00:57:04How about her? And Ed Sherman, that was marvellous.
00:57:07Oh!
00:57:12What a performance!
00:57:15What a performance!
00:57:17I mean, until tonight you wouldn't have known him from Adam, wouldn't you?
00:57:21You really wouldn't!
00:57:23But, by the way, after the break we'll be meeting his wife
00:57:26and they'll be answering questions on comedy
00:57:29to win one of the big night's major prizes.
00:57:32And as you know, they are major prizes.
00:57:35So we'll see you soon.
00:57:36APPLAUSE
00:57:38APPLAUSE
00:57:39Have you been looking after Anthea?
00:57:40Yes, I have.
00:57:41Yes, and is he fanny at home, madame?
00:57:42Oh, all the time.
00:57:43All the time.
00:57:44All the time.
00:57:45All the time.
00:57:46Well, he's given us a lot of laughs here tonight.
00:57:47Now, you have a choice.
00:57:48You can either have the music centre or the coloured television centre.
00:57:51Oh, yes, I nearly forgot that.
00:57:52Yes.
00:57:53What is your choice?
00:57:54I think the coloured TV.
00:57:55The coloured TV.
00:57:56Yeah.
00:57:57Oh, and you're going to wheel it out.
00:57:58Look at that.
00:57:59She's not afraid to work.
00:58:00She's not afraid to work.
00:58:01Thank you, my darling.
00:58:02That's absolutely lovely.
00:58:03Well, now, this is, okay, you've already won that.
00:58:05That is a great thing.
00:58:06And, you've been looking after Anthea.
00:58:07And, you know, it's a great thing.
00:58:08I've been looking after Anthea.
00:58:09Yes, I have.
00:58:10And, er, is he funny at home, madame?
00:58:11Oh, all the time.
00:58:12Well, he's given us a lot of laughs here tonight.
00:58:13Now, you have a choice.
00:58:14You can either have the music centre or the coloured television centre.
00:58:16Oh, yes, I nearly forgot that.
00:58:17Yes.
00:58:18What is your choice?
00:58:19I think the coloured TV.
00:58:20The coloured TV.
00:58:21Yeah.
00:58:22Oh, and you're going to wheel it out.
00:58:23Look at that.
00:58:24She's not afraid to work.
00:58:25She's not afraid to work.
00:58:27Thank you, my darling.
00:58:28That is absolutely lovely.
00:58:29Well, now, this is, er, okay, you've already won that.
00:58:31That is actually, you know, that was for the first part of the show.
00:58:34But, er, we are now at the other part.
00:58:36Now, do you want to answer questions on TV comedy, film comedy, or radio comedy?
00:58:42It's up to you.
00:58:43TV comedy.
00:58:44TV comedy.
00:58:45You'd like to have a go at that.
00:58:46All right, then.
00:58:47Linda, have we got the TV comedy questions?
00:58:49Oh, the right one.
00:58:50That's a bit of luck.
00:58:51Thank you, my darling.
00:58:53Right, now, the television comedy questions.
00:58:56Here we go.
00:58:57And I do have to be strict about this, because it is for a very big major prize.
00:59:01All right, then.
00:59:02Good luck to you both.
00:59:03The first question coming up.
00:59:05What was the full title of the TV satire show known as TW3?
00:59:12That was the week that was?
00:59:13Yes.
00:59:14Correct.
00:59:15That's marvellous.
00:59:16A good start.
00:59:17Well done.
00:59:20All right, then.
00:59:21Question number two.
00:59:22Name three members of the regular team of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
00:59:28John Cleese.
00:59:29Yes.
00:59:30Um.
00:59:35Graham Garden.
00:59:36No.
00:59:37No, no.
00:59:38No, no.
00:59:39First name.
00:59:40John Cleese.
00:59:41I think that's...
00:59:43Eric Idle.
00:59:45No.
00:59:46Yeah, Eric Idle.
00:59:47I've got to think of the next one now.
00:59:53I think your time's right.
00:59:54We had a long time on this.
00:59:56Michael.
00:59:57And I do have to be.
00:59:58Michael Bates.
00:59:59No.
01:00:00No.
01:00:01Derek.
01:00:02Um.
01:00:03George.
01:00:04Bill.
01:00:05Bill.
01:00:06Anyone.
01:00:07Sue.
01:00:08No, I think you've missed out on that one.
01:00:09I really do.
01:00:10I think we've given you a lot of time and I've tried to be fair with you.
01:00:12The last one.
01:00:13Which comedians recorded the following three records?
01:00:17All right then.
01:00:18Three comedians.
01:00:19They've made these three records.
01:00:22Now, you must get all three correct.
01:00:24The first one is If I Ruled the World.
01:00:27Harry Seacombe.
01:00:28Harry Seacombe, yes.
01:00:30Tears.
01:00:33Des O'Connor.
01:00:34Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:00:36No.
01:00:37Ken Dodd.
01:00:38Ken Dodd.
01:00:39Ken Dodd.
01:00:40All right, I'll give you that one.
01:00:41Because Liz, you...
01:00:42Yeah, Ken Dodd.
01:00:43You come in and interrupt me.
01:00:44Okay, because between the two of you got it.
01:00:46All right then.
01:00:47The last one.
01:00:48Careless Hands.
01:00:51Des...
01:00:53What did you say?
01:00:54Des O'Connor.
01:00:55Yes, you're right.
01:00:56You're absolutely right.
01:00:59Well, you didn't get...
01:01:03You didn't get our big, big major prize,
01:01:06but you have won this lovely suede briefcase.
01:01:10All right then.
01:01:11It really is a beautiful suede briefcase.
01:01:13And inside there's this lovely leather inside
01:01:15and suede on the outside.
01:01:16Oh, and here's an envelope.
01:01:18And in the envelope there are two plane tickets.
01:01:22To Manchester.
01:01:24No, you don't have to go to Manchester if you don't want to.
01:01:27It's lovely there this time of year,
01:01:28but this is what you've got.
01:01:29This is a second prize.
01:01:30It isn't the major prize,
01:01:31it isn't the major prize,
01:01:32but you have won a week's holiday for two
01:01:36in the Canary Islands.
01:01:37Oh, thanks.
01:01:38With fares.
01:01:40With fares, hotel expenses,
01:01:42and a tent.
01:01:45In case the hotel isn't up to much,
01:01:47you know what it's like some of these places.
01:01:48And spending money all paid for by us.
01:01:51So it's not a bad prize, is it?
01:01:54Have you had a good night?
01:01:56Have you had a good night?
01:01:57Have you had a good night?
01:01:58Yeah.
01:01:59All right.
01:02:00I've never seen you.
01:02:01There we are.
01:02:02Congratulations.
01:02:03A worthy winner.
01:02:04Have a happy time.
01:02:06Good.
01:02:07And now ladies and gentlemen,
01:02:08meet definitely Britain's best song stylist,
01:02:11Miss Cleo Layton.
01:02:13Late.
01:02:26Bruce, why are you sitting over there?
01:02:28Well, if I sit the other end,
01:02:30I can't play very well.
01:02:33Bruce, my darling,
01:02:35where is my pianist?
01:02:37Your pianist?
01:02:38Yeah, my pianist.
01:02:39I am one and the same.
01:02:40You are one and the same.
01:02:42Well, do you know anything that I can sing?
01:02:46The thing is,
01:02:47do you know anything I can play?
01:02:50I mean, don't let's run before we can walk.
01:02:52You know what I mean?
01:02:53Don't be too adventurous.
01:02:54Now, what would you like?
01:02:55Lullaby of Birdland,
01:02:56Twisted,
01:02:57Move.
01:02:58Move.
01:02:59Move.
01:03:00Twisted.
01:03:01Lullaby of...
01:03:02No, I was thinking something more like
01:03:04Keep Right On To The End Of The Road.
01:03:07Or, you know,
01:03:08Hey Fatty Bum Bum.
01:03:09You know, something you can get your teeth into.
01:03:12What is this?
01:03:13What is this thing called love?
01:03:18It's the Bruce Forsyth's Big Night Love.
01:03:22Bruce, that was a song title.
01:03:25Oh, I see.
01:03:26And here's another one.
01:03:27Goodbye.
01:03:28Goodbye.
01:03:29Goodbye.
01:03:30Goodbye.
01:03:31Oh, if you go away.
01:03:33Let's call the whole thing off.
01:03:36But it's a grand night for singing.
01:03:38After you're gone.
01:03:39There's gonna...
01:03:40There's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight.
01:03:45If you go away.
01:03:47Someday you'll want me to want you.
01:03:49When I'm 64.
01:03:51Everybody needs somebody sometime.
01:03:55Oh, I'll get a little help from my friends.
01:03:58What?
01:03:59McNamara's band over there.
01:04:01Go away, little girl.
01:04:04What'd I say?
01:04:05Get away.
01:04:06Oh, I'm leaving you on a jet plane.
01:04:08Let yourself go.
01:04:09Raymond.
01:04:10Windy.
01:04:11Hound Dog.
01:04:12Honky Tonk Woman.
01:04:13Mr Pitiful.
01:04:14Oh, what is there to say?
01:04:16That's it.
01:04:17Eh?
01:04:18That's it.
01:04:19I know it.
01:04:20So do I.
01:04:21What is there to say?
01:04:22It's a beautiful song.
01:04:23We shall do it.
01:04:24Let's do it.
01:04:25Why not?
01:04:32What is there to say?
01:04:37And what is there to do?
01:04:43I knew in a moment contentment and home meant just you.
01:05:12You are so lovable, so livable.
01:05:25Your beauty is quite unforgivable.
01:05:31You're made to marvel at.
01:05:32You're made to marvel at.
01:05:36And words to them affect.
01:05:38Ooh, well, oh yeah.
01:05:43What is there to say?
01:05:48And how will I pull through?
01:05:49My heart's in a deadlock.
01:06:03I'll even face wedlock.
01:06:04I'll even face wedlock with you.
01:06:16What is there to say?
01:06:17I mean, Cleo, it's lovely having you here.
01:06:29It really is.
01:06:30I'm going to sack my penis and hire you.
01:06:31Are you really?
01:06:32Not bad.
01:06:33I haven't played in weeks actually.
01:06:34It's good, are you?
01:06:35Not bad.
01:06:36Not bad.
01:06:37But I'd rather talk about you.
01:06:38Now, it all started 25 years ago professionally singing and you've become an international
01:06:43star now.
01:06:44And I didn't know until today that Muhammad Ali is a great fan of yours.
01:06:47A great fan.
01:06:48I was on a talk show with him.
01:06:49Yeah.
01:06:50And, oh, here's the most beautiful piece of meat you can ever.
01:06:54Keep rid of the flank.
01:06:55I know what you mean, yes.
01:06:56He is gorgeous looking man, isn't he?
01:06:57He is lovely.
01:06:58He is lovely.
01:06:59He is lovely.
01:07:00He is lovely.
01:07:01But, in weeks actually, I get very...
01:07:02Not bad, not bad.
01:07:03But I'd rather talk about you.
01:07:04Now, it all started 25 years ago professionally singing and you've become an international star now.
01:07:07And I didn't know that until today that Muhammad Ali is a great fan of yours.
01:07:10A great fan.
01:07:11I was on a talk show with him.
01:07:12And, oh, he is the most beautiful piece of meat you can ever...
01:07:15He is gorgeous looking man, isn't he?
01:07:16He is lovely.
01:07:17Are you going to be all right?
01:07:18With a glass of water?
01:07:20He is marvellous.
01:07:22And I sort of...
01:07:23We passed in the corridor very close.
01:07:25Oh, very close.
01:07:26Very close.
01:07:27Narrow corridor.
01:07:28Yeah.
01:07:29Lovely narrow corridor.
01:07:30And I sort of said, hello, very shyly.
01:07:34And he said, hello, quite shyly back actually.
01:07:38Really?
01:07:39And then he said, I have admired you for a long time.
01:07:42Yes.
01:07:43And I said, I have admired you for a long time.
01:07:48Pretty, it was a corridor.
01:07:49Could have been a very big night.
01:07:56Yes, come on, we're all ears man.
01:07:58From then on.
01:07:59Well, it's been...
01:08:00That old girl she's...
01:08:02He is lovely, isn't he?
01:08:04Yes.
01:08:05Well, from a distance now, it's been a kind of mutual admiration.
01:08:08Oh, I see, yes.
01:08:09From a distance, I'm afraid.
01:08:10He sends me telegrams on first night telegrams.
01:08:13Does he really?
01:08:14Yeah, yeah.
01:08:15And one time he comes to the concerts if he can, but one time he couldn't come and he sent
01:08:20me a pair of boxing gloves.
01:08:22Oh.
01:08:23I love it, yeah.
01:08:24Well, I say, if you're going to have a fan, have a big one.
01:08:25Yeah.
01:08:26You've got to have a bigger fan than Desmar.
01:08:27Well, now let's get to your voice.
01:08:29I mean, it is the most amazing.
01:08:30You have a four octave...
01:08:31Four octave, yeah.
01:08:32Four octave.
01:08:33That's incredible.
01:08:34So, I mean...
01:08:35I didn't when I started with John.
01:08:36I only had one.
01:08:37Really?
01:08:38And you developed for them.
01:08:39Well, one and a bit.
01:08:40But, I mean, that's an enormous range.
01:08:42I mean, they must be bigger than Dolly Parton's.
01:08:47Voice.
01:08:48Voice.
01:08:49Evidently, you've submitted a claim to the Guinness Book of Records for hitting the highest
01:08:54ever recorded note on a new album.
01:08:57Yep.
01:08:58Now, that is on your new album.
01:09:00It's on my new album for you.
01:09:01Now, what is the...
01:09:02How high is that note?
01:09:03That's B above top C.
01:09:06B above top C?
01:09:08Yep.
01:09:09Oh, blimey.
01:09:10Didn't I hear that something dangerous rather happened when you hit one of these high notes
01:09:15once?
01:09:16I had a letter recently from a lady in Blackpool.
01:09:20Yes.
01:09:21Who said that she was watching the TV show that I recently did.
01:09:25Yeah.
01:09:26And I sang a very high note in this TV show.
01:09:30And a glass, her bars, in the room split.
01:09:36Shattered.
01:09:38So, the television was on, you're singing, and you hit this note, and the vowels split.
01:09:44Yeah.
01:09:45That's incredible.
01:09:46What was her name?
01:09:47I've never known it.
01:09:48What was her name?
01:09:49Mrs Soden?
01:09:50Soden.
01:09:51Soden.
01:09:52Soden.
01:09:53I think it was, yeah, Soden.
01:09:54Yes.
01:09:55Soden.
01:09:56Well, actually, I'm going along with this, trying to do a bit of acting, but actually we've
01:09:57got the ATV...
01:09:58The ATV special you did.
01:09:59Yes.
01:10:00And you sang the song, um...
01:10:01Midnight at the Oasis.
01:10:02Midnight at the Oasis.
01:10:03At the Oasis.
01:10:04That's right.
01:10:05And we have the clip of it.
01:10:06So, we'd like everybody to see...
01:10:08Really?
01:10:09Yes.
01:10:10We'd like everybody to see a bit of the song building up to this note.
01:10:14You won't need no harem when I'm by your side.
01:10:23You won't need no camel, no, no.
01:10:29When I take you for a ride.
01:10:34Whoa.
01:10:35That was, that was.
01:10:36My goodness.
01:10:37And Ben.
01:10:38Well, we've got another surprise for you, because we do have Mrs Soden with us.
01:10:56Oh, yes.
01:10:59Yeah, we've got quite a research team.
01:11:02Yes.
01:11:03We've got Mrs Soden with us.
01:11:04So, where is she?
01:11:05Mrs Soden.
01:11:06There we are.
01:11:07That's it.
01:11:08Have a look at that.
01:11:09Thank you, Guy.
01:11:11I'm not going to step there.
01:11:12Yes.
01:11:13Well, there we are.
01:11:14I'm sorry about your vase.
01:11:15You should say sorry.
01:11:16Well, that's the most awful thing to happen, we know.
01:11:17And I know Cleo was very, very, sort of, cut up about it.
01:11:18I know the vase was, but she's kind of that as well.
01:11:19And you know, you, you, you know, this, you know, this, you know, this, you know,
01:11:31this was a, believe me, this is an awful thing to have happened.
01:11:34So, there we are.
01:11:36This is a lovely bit of glassware for you with our love.
01:11:40All right, then.
01:11:41She's in place.
01:11:42All right.
01:11:43Does that make everything okay?
01:11:49Jolly, jolly.
01:11:50All right, then.
01:11:51So, next time she's on, switch it off.
01:11:53Not the picture, the sound.
01:11:55Just turn it down a bit.
01:11:56All right, then.
01:11:57Thank you, Mrs Soden, for being with us.
01:11:59Come on.
01:12:00We thought that would be a surprise, because I mean, I've never heard of anything like that
01:12:06happening before.
01:12:07I don't know.
01:12:08I thought it was a myth, always.
01:12:09I know.
01:12:10The voices could crack.
01:12:11Well, now, darling, let's get to your, your new single, which is a Christmas song.
01:12:16It's a Christmas song.
01:12:17And evidently, you had quite a good, you know, writer, that is from the music side, Chopin.
01:12:23It's from a Chopin piece.
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:25Well, we'd love to hear it, my darling.
01:12:26We wish you all the luck in the world with it.
01:12:29And what is it called?
01:12:30My New Baby Born.
01:12:31My New Baby Born.
01:12:32All right, then.
01:12:33Ladies and gentlemen, Cleo Leigh.
01:12:47My new baby boy
01:13:00Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:13:06My hand will rock your cradle
01:13:13Till the dawn
01:13:16A single star
01:13:21Here's my lullaby
01:13:26And gently shining
01:13:30Lights the dark
01:13:34Where you lie
01:13:37My baby sleep tight
01:13:42Into the night
01:13:48The wings of morning
01:13:54Soon will speed your flight
01:13:58You'll leave me soon
01:14:03But wherever fate may lead you
01:14:10Take my love for those who need you
01:14:15Love so strong
01:14:18The world must see its light
01:14:23But sleep tonight
01:14:26For you must travel long
01:14:32On into the dawn
01:14:37Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:14:43New baby boy
01:14:48You'll leave me soon
01:14:57You'll leave me soon
01:15:07You'll leave me soon
01:15:11But wherever fate may lead you
01:15:18Take my love for those who need you
01:15:23Love so strong
01:15:24Love so strong
01:15:25Love so strong
01:15:25The world must see its light
01:15:30But sleep tonight
01:15:32But sleep tonight
01:15:35For you must travel long
01:15:40On into the dawn
01:15:45Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:15:49Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:15:51New baby boy
01:15:55Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:15:59Sleep deep, sleep warm
01:16:29Oh, I wish you luck
01:16:31It's so pretty
01:16:33Lovely lyric
01:16:34Really lovely
01:16:35Well now
01:16:36I'd love to do something
01:16:37With you now
01:16:38A little song together
01:16:40But before
01:16:40I didn't mention it
01:16:41Because I don't push myself
01:16:43As much as I should
01:16:44But you know
01:16:45I've got a really high voice as well
01:16:49You have?
01:16:49In fact
01:16:50I'd like to really
01:16:51Have a go at this
01:16:52I'd like to hear it
01:16:53The Guinness book
01:16:54The record thing
01:16:55And all that sort of thing
01:16:56And the only trouble is
01:16:58When I hit my note
01:16:58The only trouble is
01:17:01When I hit my high note
01:17:02You see
01:17:03I've only got one witness
01:17:04All right then
01:17:06Are you ready boy?
01:17:08Ready?
01:17:08Good
01:17:09Isn't that
01:17:10You see that?
01:17:18Thank you boy
01:17:19Good boy
01:17:20Well done
01:17:21Thank you guys
01:17:25You see?
01:17:28That's cheating
01:17:29What do you mean cheating?
01:17:30That's cheating
01:17:31For goodness sake
01:17:31Will you trust me?
01:17:33Please
01:17:34A bit of jazz
01:17:34Okay
01:17:35Come on
01:17:35Just for the old days
01:17:36Here I go again
01:17:44I hear that trumpet blow again
01:17:46I'm on it
01:17:48No again
01:17:48Taking a chance
01:17:50On love
01:17:51Here I slide again
01:17:53About to take that ride again
01:17:55Starry eyed again
01:17:57Taking a chance
01:17:58On love
01:17:59I thought the cards were a frame up
01:18:02And I never would try
01:18:04But now I've taken the game up
01:18:06And the ace of hearts is high
01:18:08Things are mending now
01:18:11I see a rainbow blending now
01:18:13And we're happy ending now
01:18:15Taking a chance on love
01:18:17To be continued
01:18:47Here I go
01:18:54Here I go
01:18:57Here we go
01:18:59Here I go again
01:19:02Look at that trophy blow again
01:19:04Oh, love, blow again
01:19:06Taking the chance of love
01:19:08Here I slide again
01:19:10Bow to take that ride again
01:19:13So starry-eyed again
01:19:15I'm taking a new plan, love
01:19:17Shibididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid
01:19:47They really like that, they really like that, one more time, will you join us, everybody
01:20:09sing, everybody sing, off we go, lovely, off we go, come on.
01:20:17What's up with you for goodness sake, you see in the old days they used to love us sing songs, sing along, don't they, don't always change, now anybody like to have a go at this, somebody near the front, you'd like to have a go at it with us, you sir in the blue sweater at the end there, will you have a go, why not, yeah what, are you American sir, yes sir, oh why not sir, Cleo you talk to him, I'm honest now, I'll ask him to join him, what are you joining,
01:20:47please, where are you from, from New York, New York, and you came all that way, just to see the show, it's possible, not probable but possible, alright so you join Cleo and I, and have a real go sir, you know don't forget you're doing this for your country, you can't do much else, right, here we go and off we go kids,
01:21:09taking the chance I love
01:21:19now Britain, are you going to let him get away with that, have we got one British man or woman here that's going to try and do better than that, what about you sir, you, you look a good sport, yes you sir, with the face,
01:21:37yes you sir, with the face, come on you could be great, would he do it, you, you sir, oh we tried him, he was no good, you sir, with the grey hair, yes, I can't sing, but you don't have to, you, you, you, sir at the back, you at the back sir,
01:21:55great, okay, wait for it, okay, he's going to be, we'll finish on him,
01:22:01that was absolute, what, that was absolutely average, what's that too, she said I sang the wrong words,
01:22:29you sang the wrong words, you sang the wrong words, anyway you've been great sports, and hasn't it been lovely to meet and listen to and enjoy Miss Cleo Lane,
01:22:41thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you.
01:22:49I hope we've helped to make your Saturday a fun and time just doesn't matter day, tomorrow never ever comes, at least that's what they say, I hope they're wrong,
01:23:17and it's not too long before I spend another Saturday with you.
01:23:47, thank you very much, thank you.
01:23:54I was bouncing with my darling
01:24:09To the Tennessee walls
01:24:13When an old friend I happened to see
01:24:18I introduced her to my lover
01:24:23And it's one way of what I was in
01:24:27My friend, she stole my sweet heart
01:24:30Scrolling from me
01:24:33I remember the night
01:24:38And the Tennessee walls
01:24:41Now I know just how much I love
01:24:47She lost her love
01:24:52To the Tennessee walls
01:24:55To the Tennessee walls
01:24:57To the Tennessee walls
01:24:59To the Tennessee walls
01:25:05To the Tennessee walls
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