- 7 hours ago
The Handsome Vampire 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Let me know if you need anything else, please.
00:10Diana?
00:17Diana?
00:18So, you're the girl that's turned Freddie's career upside down.
00:22You're more stunning in person.
00:24I don't know about that.
00:26Don't sell yourself short.
00:27Success in Hollywood is all about branding.
00:30So, what's good here?
00:32Not much.
00:33So, why are you here, Diana?
00:35I know you're not here for the bottomless mimosas.
00:38You've got talent, and I need a development assistant.
00:41I already have a job.
00:43I work for Coleman.
00:44Who works for me.
00:45I'm a silent partner in his business, but my family's money keeps the lights on.
00:50I didn't know that.
00:52I'm actually working on a project with Freddie right now.
00:54So, you just started fucking, which is a branding problem.
00:59For who?
01:01And how did you know that?
01:02It's a small town, and I have many sources.
01:06I do pay well.
01:07Charlotte, darling, welcome.
01:30Come in, come in.
01:31You wanted to talk about the new scripts?
01:32Oh, no.
01:34It's self-care Sunday.
01:35I need you to give me a foot massage.
01:37I'm sorry, what?
01:38You heard me.
01:38I've been on my feet all week, and I need to relax.
01:42Diana, I'm your assistant.
01:43I'm not a masseuse.
01:44Let's get one thing straight.
01:46If you want to keep this job and have any chance at all of making it in this industry,
01:50you'll do as I say.
01:51That's a good girl.
02:07Oh, no, that is it.
02:15Charlotte, she cannot keep treating you like this.
02:18You need to tell Freddy, and then teach this witch a lesson.
02:22No, Sam, that's exactly what she wants me to do.
02:24I need to prove I can make it on my own.
02:26Well, how much more can you take?
02:27As much as I need to.
02:29This is my dream.
02:31I'm not giving up on it.
02:32Hey, Mom, what's up?
02:49Charlotte, honey, I'm afraid I have some bad news.
02:53Your father's medication prices have gone up again, and we're struggling to keep up with the debt.
02:57I'm sorry, Mom.
02:59I wish I could help more, but things are a little tough right now, but I'm not giving up.
03:16I can do this.
03:19I have to do this.
03:20What's all this?
03:31I just wanted to celebrate your recent victories,
03:34so I thought I'd do something special for you for all your hard work.
03:37Are you serious?
03:50Yeah.
03:51Root Beer Floats.
03:52Your hometown favorite.
03:54My parents used to get me one of these after every soccer game, whether we won or lost.
03:57Go and try it.
03:59I can.
04:00I'm on a special day.
04:01Charlie, I'm tired of hiding our love from the world.
04:08I'm tired of being chased by the paparazzi.
04:11I want to go public with our love.
04:13Are you sure?
04:13That's a big step.
04:15Yeah, I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life.
04:17Well, I'll support you no matter what.
04:18Shh.
04:20Shh.
04:24Shh.
04:25Shh.
04:25Miss Dunn, welcome.
04:37It is an honor to have you in our store.
04:40How may I assist you today?
04:41I need an outfit for the gala tonight, something that'll make me stand out.
04:45Of course.
04:46We have the latest collections from the top designers.
04:49I'm sure we'll find something perfect for you.
04:51Diana, look at this one.
04:56This would look stunning on you.
04:58Oh, sweetie.
05:00I don't think that dress is quite worthy of someone like Miss Dunn's statue.
05:06You're right.
05:07My assistant here doesn't quite understand the difference between high fashion and, well,
05:13whatever she's wearing.
05:16Oh, now this is a dress worthy of your presence, Miss Dunn.
05:25It's all my exclusive collection.
05:27I'll take it.
05:29Class cannot be taught.
05:37Oh, Charlotte.
05:38I'm just teasing.
05:40Here, let me buy you a dress to make it up to you.
05:42Go on, try it on.
05:45I insist.
05:56Well, well, well.
05:57Look at you, Charlotte.
05:59You clean up nicely.
06:04I guess that dress just doesn't work for you.
06:08You're better off in your ragged clothes, and you will have to pay damages, of course.
06:13I'm sure that dress is worth more than your monthly salary.
06:17Ciao, Bianca.
06:20Come on, Charlotte.
06:22The Gatlet awaits.
06:23I'm so glad you can make it.
06:44Yeah, good evening, Diana.
06:45I'm so glad you can make it.
06:46I'm so glad you can make it.
06:54Well, well.
06:55If it isn't Little Miss Cinderella wearing a dress made of rags.
06:59Actually, this is the same gown from earlier, just with some alterations.
07:03You can't just...
07:05This is a black tie event, not a costume party.
07:08Well, I believe true style comes from within, not a designer label.
07:12Just remember, Charlotte, you still work for me.
07:15You're lucky I don't fire you, Charlotte.
07:18I think it's time for you to leave, Diana.
07:20But I...
07:22I...
07:23Freddie.
07:25Goodbye, Diana.
07:33You look absolutely beautiful.
07:34We need an answer before the press conference starts.
07:40We're willing to offer a substantial investment.
07:43Just say the word.
07:45Freddie, say the word.
07:45Freddie, she isn't the man of the hour, huh?
07:49Freddie Jones.
07:52It's the best key.
07:53I'm the one who's going to invest in a little film, pretty boy.
07:57Whether you like it or not.
08:00And how might this lovely lady be?
08:07I'm candy for the night.
08:09Watch your mouth, Zebeski.
08:14Ah, he's got a temper.
08:16What are you going to do about it, pretty boy?
08:22Listen, Zebeski.
08:23You're not going to invest in my film.
08:25With disrespect, my girl, again.
08:28Do you understand?
08:31Freddie, back away.
08:33What do you want, Diana?
08:46I couldn't help but overhear your little altercation with Freddie.
08:51Seems like we both have something to gain by taking him down a peck or two.
08:56I'm listening.
08:58It's simple.
08:59You want money and a taste of that pretty little assistant of his.
09:02Because I want Freddie.
09:04And I think I know a way where we can both get what we desire.
09:08I like the way you think, Diana.
09:12What do you have in mind?
09:14We hold a press conference.
09:15And when Freddie's distracted, I'll announce our new film together,
09:18cementing me at his side.
09:20I love it.
09:22When do we start?
09:24Leave it to me, Zebeski.
09:26You just play your part when the time comes.
09:32Buddy, on the gala, I saw something here.
09:41Your teeth, they weren't normal.
09:44And the way you find Zebeski, what's going on?
09:49I'll tell you, Charlotte.
09:52Only because we're blind at my blood.
09:54What the hell does that mean?
09:55It means I'm a vampire.
10:05Do you know, when I was a little girl,
10:07I always dreamed of becoming a vampire.
10:10The magic, the mystery of it all.
10:14Life became nothing but work and pills.
10:18Anything about magic, Charlotte?
10:22So you just gotta know where to look.
10:33The magic's all there, Charlotte.
10:36You just gotta know where to look.
10:37And I miss you, baby.
10:39By my side.
10:42Where are you now?
10:46Baby.
10:47Did you hear me mean to say goodbye?
10:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
10:59I can't think I'm one of the reasons why.
11:05I'm easy now.
11:12Hey, Charlotte.
11:13We may need to talk to you about being Diana's assistant.
11:18Look, I honestly don't like the way she's been mistreating you,
11:21and I don't want you working for her anymore.
11:24And I've been thinking,
11:26if you need help financially or otherwise,
11:30I got you.
11:32I can't take that.
11:33Oh, I don't, I don't want to rely on you.
11:38But I insist you take it.
11:40I would feel a whole lot better.
11:42Please.
11:43Fine.
11:44We're just for emergencies.
11:45It's Diana.
11:57She's been blowing up my phone all night.
12:02Just ignore it.
12:04Diana.
12:21You know she's not going to stop calling.
12:24She answered it.
12:26Diana, what do you want?
12:28You're with Freddie, aren't you?
12:31It's none of your business.
12:33Actually, business is why I'm calling.
12:37I have a proposition for the both of you
12:38so we can be done with all of this nonsense.
12:52We're here to settle things like you said.
12:54No more games.
12:55I already told her about us.
12:56So you can't hang that over my head.
12:59Splendid.
13:00I hate secrets between friends.
13:03On that note,
13:04this was going to be a surprise, but...
13:06Pam?
13:08You goddamn bitch.
13:15Oh my God.
13:17I can't believe my daughter's dating people's
13:19sexiest man alive.
13:21Two years ago, but charmed.
13:24With how hard Charlotte's been working,
13:27I thought this would be a nice treat.
13:28It was so nice of you to fly me here.
13:30Why didn't you tell me your boss is so generous?
13:33Diana's very humble,
13:35and she doesn't like people talking about her generosity.
13:39What are you doing?
13:40I just wanted to show you the gold-digging trash
13:42you've been in bed with.
13:44Watch this.
13:47Pam's been telling me a lot about life in the country,
13:49and how hard it's been.
13:52Yes, that's true.
13:54With your dad's back surgery he needs,
13:56and the black mold in the house,
13:57they might have to sell,
13:58and it breaks my heart.
13:59That's none of your concern, Diana.
14:01But it could be.
14:03What if I wrote your mother a check for two million dollars?
14:07In exchange for what?
14:09You and Freddie alone.
14:12Forever.
14:13Two million dollars?
14:18Would that cover it, Mom?
14:20Well, yeah.
14:21I guess it would.
14:25We don't want your money, Diana.
14:27And I won't be bullied out of ending my relationship,
14:30not by you,
14:31not by anyone.
14:34Well, then there's nothing left to consider.
14:37Your happiness is all that matters, sweetheart.
14:40I'm sorry, but we don't need your money.
14:44Not if it'd be sacrificing my daughter's heart.
14:48You're making a mistake, both of you.
14:51But if that's how you want to play it, fine.
14:53Just know that I do have a plan B.
14:56And trust me,
14:57you're not gonna like it.
14:59You're done here, Diana.
15:01As far as your plan B,
15:03we'll handle that together.
15:06Come on, ladies.
15:07Let's go.
15:14This isn't over.
15:15Not by a long shot.
15:16All right, you two.
15:23So let's review.
15:24Diana, you're gonna go out first.
15:26People are gonna be super excited to see you.
15:28And then you're gonna introduce Freddie.
15:29Freddie, they're gonna be equally excited to see you.
15:31Then the two of you will talk about the movie.
15:33And then you'll take questions from the journalists.
15:36Sound good?
15:37Sounds great.
15:37Fantastic.
15:39Oh, they're ready to go.
15:40We gotta get out there.
15:41Otherwise, we're gonna keep them waiting.
15:42And we do not want to do that.
15:43They look perfect.
15:44Great job.
15:44Come on, you two.
15:45Let's go.
15:45No, no, you look perfect.
15:46You don't need to check yourself.
15:47Let's go.
15:47It isn't a pretty little assistant.
16:05What are you doing?
16:07Thinking about your blood, Charlie.
16:12About the way it tastes.
16:14The way it must feel.
16:15Stay away from me.
16:20I'm warning you.
16:21Or what?
16:21You're warning me.
16:23What are you gonna do, sweetheart?
16:25Go for help.
16:29And now, without further ado,
16:35let's help the man's lucky hour, Freddie Jones.
16:38I think your blood
16:47will be the sweetest they've tasted in years.
16:52Not enough savor
16:53every
16:54last
16:55breath.
17:00Come on, Freddie.
17:03Charlie.
17:04I see you around my girl again,
17:27Zabatsky.
17:27I'll rip out your fucking throat!
17:30Ah!
17:35Charlotte.
17:38Are you okay?
17:40You came back.
17:42I'll always come back for you, Charlotte.
17:43I'm sorry, everyone.
17:54I'm not sure what's keeping Freddie.
17:57Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, guys from Tide.
18:06Sorry I'm late.
18:06You all know how I like to make a very dramatic entrance.
18:10There are two things I would like to talk about.
18:13First one is,
18:14I'm really proud of this film that Diana and I have made.
18:17Me too, Freddie.
18:19I think it is a great project for us to end on and go off on our own.
18:23Two,
18:24I would really like to introduce you all to something very special to me.
18:27She's the one of the bravest, smartest, most beautiful women in this town.
18:34My new career advisor and future, Miss Freddie Jones.
18:38Miss Charlotte Sims, everybody.
18:51I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about the announcement.
18:53It's okay.
18:55Just from now on, no more secrets.
18:57We're going to face the challenges together.
19:00I love you, Charlotte.
19:01I love you, too.
19:03I do want to ask you one thing, though.
19:05Yeah, anything.
19:06Could you ask for my father's blessing?
19:09It's a tradition in my family.
19:10It would mean the world to me.
19:13I would be honored to ask your father for his blessing to marry you.
19:15But remember, you don't have to tell him everything.
19:18Okay.
19:19Come here.
19:19Come here.
19:20Come here.
19:27Alexander, Zelda, I need to speak with you now.
19:40Alexander, Zelda, I need to speak with you now.
19:43Diana, what brings you here in such a state?
19:46It's Freddie.
19:48Your son has gone too far this time.
19:50He's announced his engagement to a human.
19:53At a press conference, no less.
19:55A human?
19:57Are you certain?
19:58Yes.
20:00Some nobody in Charlotte Sims.
20:02He's putting our entire order at risk by telling all of our secrets to her.
20:06This cannot be allowed to continue.
20:10The secrecy of our kind is of the utmost importance.
20:13I couldn't agree more, Zelda.
20:15That's why I came to you.
20:16I worry about Freddie and I fear that he's not thinking clearly.
20:20What do we really know about this Charlotte girl?
20:23She could be a threat to our whole way of life.
20:26We cannot take any risks.
20:30We'll handle this matter personally.
20:33You have our work.
20:36So we thought we'd come in on Friday and stay the weekend.
20:46Oh, we could probably need bodyguards.
20:48The whole town has gone crazy since UK went public.
20:51We felt like celebrities at Walmart today.
20:53But I don't know, why would a movie star want to come all the way to Whitewater Minnesota?
20:58Well, I just want to see where Charlotte grew up.
21:00And honestly, I want to come and meet you, sir.
21:01Plus, we have some news.
21:03I knew it!
21:04I knew it!
21:05Oh, Freddie, you're going to go to the most beautiful, most expensive wedding dress ever, aren't you?
21:09Oh, yeah, you bet.
21:10No, you're not.
21:12Mom, you've been saving your wedding dress for 25 years so I could wear it.
21:15Well, it has a tear, remember?
21:17I mean, it's going to look like an old sackcloth afraid of what Freddie can get you.
21:21Well, I'm not getting married in anything else.
21:23So if you don't want me wearing my birthday suit at my wedding, you better mend it.
21:26All right, all right, all right, love you.
21:30Bye.
21:44Something's wrong.
21:44Look, I've been trying to get my parents since yesterday and they haven't answered their phones.
21:48Okay, I'm sure everything's fine, Charlotte.
21:50It's not like my mom to not answer.
21:52Look, your mom is just super excited about us coming to visit.
21:55I'm sure she's just caught up on all the preparations.
21:58Maybe you're right, but I have a really bad feeling.
22:01Okay, all right, well, I can call the pilot and we can head over there right now and check.
22:06Let's go.
22:07Mom?
22:16Dad, is anyone here?
22:21This is where they said to meet them.
22:27Freddie, I think something's happened to them.
22:29Charlotte, don't worry.
22:31We'll find them, okay?
22:33I promise.
22:37Thank you for joining us on such short notice.
22:43Oh, we've never been to the West Coast before, so we don't mind the change of plans.
22:49And we'd just as soon come out here and then have Freddie business there.
22:53My phone can't get service.
22:55I was hoping to tell Charlotte where we are.
22:57We're in a dead zone.
22:59They'll be joining us shortly.
23:02In the meantime, we wanted a chance to get to know you.
23:06Our son's welfare is of the utmost importance to us.
23:09And so we'd like to know what sort of stock he is associating with.
23:16We have the same concern about Charlotte.
23:18Yeah, we don't know much about these powerful Hollywood types.
23:22But what we do know is it's not very wholesome, like sex slaves and...
23:26Clones.
23:27Yeah, clones.
23:28Yeah.
23:29We don't have slaves.
23:32Or clones.
23:33But there are many reasons why Charlotte and Freddie's union could be complicated, challenging, even dangerous.
23:43Dangerous?
23:44The truth is we brought you here to ask you some very important questions.
23:51Please follow us to the parlor.
23:53All right.
24:02I've got private investigators here and in Minnesota.
24:06And I've called in favors with anyone we know in law enforcement.
24:09Charlotte.
24:10We're going to find them.
24:12I promise.
24:14Are you okay?
24:16I'm hanging in there.
24:17Look, I'm going to go.
24:19Drop the vaccine.
24:20Where are you going?
24:20We'll go talk.
24:22Somebody might know what the hell is going on.
24:27I'll be back.
24:42Where are they?
24:43I don't know what you're talking about.
24:45Charlotte's parents are missing.
24:46Oh, heavens.
24:47Hopefully they didn't get lost remembering which trailer is theirs.
24:50Okay.
24:51Diana, tell me where they are.
24:52I'm going to rip you in half.
24:57Coleman.
24:58Charlotte's parents turned up on a security camera at LAX.
25:01They're not with Diana.
25:04Okay.
25:05Well, where are they now?
25:06They're with your parents.
25:08Why the hell are they with them?
25:10They told the human our secrets.
25:12They're tying up your loose ends.
25:14That's so good.
25:32Oh!
25:33Hi.
25:35You're okay?
25:37Okay?
25:37We're better than okay.
25:39We're having a great time.
25:40What took you so long?
25:42Mom, Dad, what are they doing here?
25:45You let the cat out of the bag.
25:48We had to vet Charlotte, make sure she was all right.
25:51We're going to share our darkest secrets with her.
25:54Not to mention our only son.
25:56Okay.
25:58And?
25:59Charlotte is a lovely young woman.
26:03A good student, a hard worker.
26:06You picked a good one.
26:08And her parents are fun.
26:09Who are they?
26:10Two thousand-year-old vampires and Midwesterners have a lot in common.
26:16Both kind of slow to change.
26:18We went to the bar and it was unlocked.
26:19No one was there.
26:21Ted!
26:21Did you forget to fix the deadbolt again?
26:24Uh, yeah, I meant to.
26:26But, you know, with everything going on, I think I must have forgot.
26:30Alexander is the same way.
26:32Completely useless around the house.
26:34But I am good with toasts.
26:36Here's to a beautiful journey.
26:40No road is long when you have good company.
26:42For the happy cuppa.
26:46Cheers.
26:50Cheers.
26:51Cheers.
26:52Cheers.
26:59Cheers.
27:00By the power vested in me,
27:02I now pronounce you husband and wife.
27:05Congratulations. I guess the best woman won.
27:25So I don't have to worry about you anymore?
27:27No. I've moved on.
27:30Are you serious?
27:32Yeah. She's crazy. But she knows the business.
27:36And she gets me.
27:38I'm in love with that, brother.
27:39Hey, I've known you for 200 years. Charlotte, good luck with that.
27:44I just have one question.
27:53What is it?
27:55Is she going to drink milk?
27:58No. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, she is.
28:05No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
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