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Film&Cinema BS-K
  • 2 days ago

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00:00:00And now citizens of this beautiful region
00:00:12all that remains is to submit it to your judgment.
00:00:17our rich and important program
00:00:20One, two, three, four
00:00:30Our free course
00:01:00Our free course
00:01:30Our free course
00:01:59And now, ladies and gentlemen, we will begin our biggest and most sensational show ever.
00:02:08Fresh from the greatest theatres in Italy and Sardinia
00:02:12I have the pleasure of introducing you to the Indian porter Pasquale Impallomeni
00:02:17He says he is a man
00:02:19But in fact it isn't, gentlemen.
00:02:21He is instead a kind of prehistoric monster
00:02:25Which is even equipped with a Herculean force
00:02:29He leaves you speechless with his exercises, gentlemen.
00:02:34In fact it has been defined by the foreign press and also the Sicilian one
00:02:39The greatest, the original, the perfect white porter
00:02:44All the others are nothing but vulgar imitations.
00:02:47And if someone is septic
00:02:50I am forced to demonstrate to you in person
00:02:53The encyclopedia of occult scientists
00:02:56What is coming initiation of Paris
00:03:00Your Highness, we want to give this audience a demonstration.
00:03:04Intelligent and cultured?
00:03:08Ale!
00:03:08Now it will rest on these sharp nails
00:03:27Like on the softest of mattresses
00:03:30Your Highness, have a good rest
00:03:38Don't be shocked, gentlemen!
00:03:58Don't be shocked!
00:04:01What is it, Prince Pasquale?
00:04:03Does it hurt?
00:04:04No, there's a peel in the mattress
00:04:06The porter is also witty
00:04:10This is good
00:04:12Never mind that
00:04:14All right, let's move on to the second exercise.
00:04:17Attention!
00:04:19Get up, Prince, you're getting pale.
00:04:21You will see
00:04:26Observe
00:04:27Prince
00:04:29Attention!
00:04:32And now you will witness the most sensational meal
00:04:38That any man has ever done
00:04:40Even though Prince Pasquale
00:04:43Be sick with nal ulcer
00:04:46He doesn't deprive himself of eating glass
00:04:49Acciaio and similar
00:04:51Attention!
00:04:52Attention!
00:04:53Prince, bon appetit!
00:04:55Miracle!
00:04:59Miracle!
00:05:01Eh, sorry.
00:05:01If you give him a jar of fruit in syrup
00:05:06He throws away the fruit and eats the jar
00:05:09The other evening we were unable to return to the Grand Hotel
00:05:12Where we modestly took lodging
00:05:14Because he ate the room keys
00:05:17Ladies and gentlemen
00:05:20Our show is over
00:05:22Appealing to Article 244 of the Constitution
00:05:26Which connects Sicily to Pakistan
00:05:28I beg you to show all your sympathy
00:05:31To the representative of India
00:05:33Ladies and gentlemen
00:05:34Not good deeds but money
00:05:37Money in quantity
00:05:38Thank you, thank you
00:05:39And thank you
00:05:39Excuse me
00:05:40The class is around here
00:05:41Where are they going?
00:05:42Where are they going?
00:05:43Oh, oh, oh!
00:05:47And even today there is no food
00:06:09But if you've eaten so far
00:06:11Ah, if you don't believe me
00:06:13But there is a big difference
00:06:14Between the noodles and the rusty knives
00:06:17What does the saying go?
00:06:20Memo prophet in his homeland, omnibus
00:06:22And what do you mean?
00:06:23And what do I mean?
00:06:24That in Sicily we will end up dying of hunger
00:06:26So why don't we go to the continent?
00:06:27Of course we will go to the continent
00:06:29In you know where?
00:06:30In Reggio Calabria
00:06:31No, we're going to America
00:06:33In America?
00:06:34In America?
00:06:35Yes, and precisely in New York
00:06:36In New York?
00:06:38And how will we go there if we don't have the money for the ticket?
00:06:41Have you ever heard of stowaways?
00:06:43Oh, yes
00:06:44And are you sure we'll be lucky?
00:06:48Fortune
00:06:48Two smart guys like us
00:06:50But not only that we will get rich
00:06:52But above all we will be free
00:06:54Yes, freedom
00:06:57But the American adventure of the two brothers in Pallomeni
00:07:00It certainly didn't start under the sign of freedom.
00:07:03In fact, instead of landing in the fabulous New York
00:07:06Fate had thrown them to Nueva Chiracao
00:07:09Capital of the small but turbulent republic of Santa Prisca
00:07:12Oppressed by the bloody dictatorship of General José Limar
00:07:16The cruelest, the most ferocious of all Latin American dictators
00:07:20Limar!
00:07:22Your final hour has arrived!
00:07:23Your final hour has arrived!
00:07:53The only thing that bothers me is the smell of burning flesh
00:08:08Another attempt?
00:08:10Yes, it's already the tenth since this morning
00:08:12And luckily this uniform has a prodigious protective vest.
00:08:17It resists cannon fire
00:08:19I'm sorry, dear general, but it's up to you to eliminate the rebels
00:08:26These moustachioed guys or whatever the hell they're called
00:08:28I had specific orders from the White House not to intervene.
00:08:31But Mr. Ambassador, we can't do it alone.
00:08:35We will never make it
00:08:36You'll understand, the mustachioed ones are increasing day by day
00:08:39Not to mention that besides them there are also the sbarbados
00:08:42Who are these barbados?
00:08:43It's the women of the moustachioed men who are more terrible than their husbands.
00:08:47Got it? Good.
00:08:48However, dear general, I do not hide the fact that I am very worried about the fate
00:08:52But what does he want me to care about his government?
00:08:54I go out onto the balcony, whistle and find 50 generals ready to see I can stand it
00:08:57Oh no, 38
00:08:59Yes, because I had 12 of them killed yesterday
00:09:03Ah, good, good
00:09:05You can't even trust your own officers anymore.
00:09:08Slimer, your last hour has come
00:09:10Gentlemen, please do not resort to violence.
00:09:13Don't forget that you are about to commit a crime in the presence of the US Ambassador.
00:09:17The United States will be grateful to me for what I am about to give them.
00:09:20Raise your hands, pig
00:09:21Hands up
00:09:26Died
00:09:28You are surrounded
00:09:29If you take just one step you're a dead man
00:09:32You certainly have some convincing means here.
00:09:47Well, if I didn't take the necessary precautions I would have died at least 30 times
00:09:50Luckily I bought these toys from one of your compatriots
00:09:54A certain James Bond
00:09:56I don't know what the hell it's called
00:10:00Ah, yes, I think I know him, yes, yes, yes, yes
00:10:02Yes, he was your secret agent.
00:10:04Who was later fired for poor performance
00:10:07He liked women too much
00:10:08And what does he do now?
00:10:13Ah, you are, you are
00:10:14Take that bastard away
00:10:17Your compatriot sold me some very interesting little things for a few dollars.
00:10:40Beyond what you have seen
00:10:42The chandelier
00:10:44Which works like a boomerang
00:10:49And then there's that eagle
00:10:51Beautiful, beautiful
00:10:51Yes, yes, yes, see, look how cute
00:10:56And that can become a deadly weapon
00:11:03Furthermore, this study is full of traps that work by pressing the button on the desk
00:11:10And as you can see it's a bit difficult to outwit General Limare.
00:11:15All very interesting, yes
00:11:17But let's get back to our problems.
00:11:19Yes, yes
00:11:19So, General, our madmen were very clear
00:11:22We helped you gain power
00:11:24And you have committed to ensuring the safety of our platforms and factories.
00:11:28Since it's all your stuff, it would be even safer if you defended them with your soldiers, it seems to me.
00:11:34Well, I take this opportunity to announce that any hour now
00:11:37A company of paratroopers that I requested from my government will land at the airport of New Chiracao.
00:11:43So we're on horseback, a siglo
00:11:49Thanks, but you misunderstood.
00:11:52Yes, because the paratroopers will only defend American property and people.
00:11:56They won't lift a finger against the bofudos
00:11:58You have to think about those yourselves.
00:12:00Yes?
00:12:01So you Americans deny us your help
00:12:07How nice
00:12:14But look what a joke!
00:12:16I would like some clarification.
00:12:18But if you don't attack the bofudos, how can you defend the Americans?
00:12:22It's very simple.
00:12:22We Americans never attack
00:12:24But if they attack us we defend ourselves with weapons.
00:12:26Dear general, now get busy
00:12:29We're not looking for trouble
00:12:31But trouble
00:12:33I say woe to anyone who teases us
00:12:35Hello? Hello?
00:12:41Get the American ambassador back soon
00:12:43Before the crocodile eats it
00:12:44Holy! Diego!
00:12:48Holy! Diego!
00:12:53Chief, glorious chief
00:12:55You are the most handsome dictator in the world
00:12:58Why are you looking at me with that face?
00:13:01If you tell on your sister
00:13:03End up like the bofudos
00:13:04Capatazzo, I'm not your brother-in-law here
00:13:07But I'm just your chief of staff
00:13:09Be quiet
00:13:10I wanted to give you some great news.
00:13:12The bofudos are exterminated
00:13:13Exterminated?
00:13:14I mean that by now they can be considered completely exterminated.
00:13:18Why are the para-Americans coming?
00:13:21Oh, my general
00:13:21Yes, but thanks to the Johnson Doctrine
00:13:25These paratroopers do not attack
00:13:27If they are not attached
00:13:28And bofudos aren't that stupid
00:13:31Well, anyway...
00:13:33Oh, it's very simple
00:13:35We'll throw some fake para-Americans into the forest
00:13:40The bofudos, believing themselves attacked, will kill them
00:13:43And convinced that the United States has sided with me
00:13:48As soon as they see the real paratroopers arriving
00:13:51The ambassador had announced the arrival of which to me.
00:13:55They will attack them
00:13:58This is how we will get rid of the bofudos
00:14:00And we can do as we please.
00:14:02What do you think?
00:14:03Capatazze, you are the greatest in the world
00:14:09You go fishing for parachutes right away
00:14:13Well, where do I find them?
00:14:15I have to suggest everything to you
00:14:17To the concentration camp
00:14:18He fishes out the most idiotic emigrants.
00:14:21Run, go!
00:14:22Yes, yes, yes
00:14:22Get out of here!
00:14:24And now we get back to our work
00:14:35Finally alone with you
00:14:51Not really, I would say, but a dear moment
00:14:55Pancio, Juanito, Manuel
00:14:57All of you, come out
00:14:58Four plus one, my capatazzo
00:15:05My bodyguard
00:15:07Everyone go away
00:15:09Go!
00:15:10Go!
00:15:11Off with the sense
00:15:12Sense
00:15:12Beloved!
00:15:14Come on!
00:15:18But don't you think you're exaggerating, love?
00:15:21A great leader must never allow himself a moment of distraction
00:15:24And never trust anyone
00:15:25Watch Julius Caesar
00:15:26Even the stepson donated it
00:15:29You don't trust me either?
00:15:31What do you have to do with it?
00:15:32Now let's create some atmosphere.
00:15:37Delicious
00:15:50Wait for the price
00:15:52Well done, well done
00:15:53I'll check the situation for a moment
00:16:05I'll get to you right away
00:16:06Come on, Nicolo
00:16:26What are you waiting for to join you?
00:16:32I was burning with desire to hold you in my arms
00:16:35Limari!
00:16:53Your last hour has struck
00:16:54I feel like I've heard this sentence before.
00:16:57This is how tyrants die
00:16:58Sure, greenish
00:17:15Excuse me
00:17:20He's gone
00:17:24I'll have it removed later
00:17:28And now let's toast to the failure of the fiftieth attack
00:17:32La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:18:02Other
00:18:09Please
00:18:10You
00:18:11Duples, me and my friend
00:18:13But go away
00:18:14Here, this is your ration.
00:18:18You eat it all, I'll manage
00:18:21I may be wrong, but this idea of yours coming to America doesn't convince me.
00:18:27It's too early to judge
00:18:29And then what doesn't convince me and what I still haven't understood is this
00:18:33You told me we were going to New York
00:18:35And instead you took me to South America
00:18:37And I told you, now at night we got on the wrong steamer
00:18:40And then don't be subtle about this north and south like the Milanese and the Sicilians
00:18:43This always America
00:18:45Only under a different jurisprudence
00:18:47I only know one thing: you got us into trouble and you have to get us out of trouble.
00:18:51As Francesco Sorcio said to Giuseppe Noce
00:18:55Give me time that I am wasting
00:18:58And then you want to consider that I've been eating vegetables for six days
00:19:01And here the grey matter no longer works
00:19:03I could use some vitamins or some iron.
00:19:06If that's the case, I can invite you to lunch.
00:19:09And that I am Fachino
00:19:10By the way, what are you preparing?
00:19:13Hey, I'm preparing thin filo alla matriciana
00:19:16And a nice rush of light bulbs
00:19:19Ha ha
00:19:19Ghi
00:19:21Ghi
00:19:37A little iron dust
00:19:58Stop nails
00:20:05Posted
00:20:14You two
00:20:21Why didn't you get up?
00:20:23Why are we eating?
00:20:25And if I don't mind, would you like to come with me?
00:20:28Do we really still have to eat fruit?
00:20:30Oh, but I'll offer you the fruit
00:20:33Excuse me
00:20:46And my friend rightly says
00:20:47Where are you taking us?
00:20:49Oh, don't worry
00:20:49You won't have to do anything at all
00:20:51Everyone else will do it
00:20:53Ah, the information has reached us.
00:20:55They knew that we are two great actors
00:20:58Certain
00:20:58We are very honored
00:20:59But unfortunately we are missing our twenty bags
00:21:02Do you understand?
00:21:03Oh, don't worry.
00:21:04We will give you a wonderful dress
00:21:07Ciccio, they'll dress us
00:21:09These are capable of dressing even an army
00:21:11You'll see what successes
00:21:13We will make families
00:21:14Please, after them
00:21:15Revenue
00:21:16It will be a wonderful sight for your soldiers
00:21:25Oh, yes, yes
00:21:26It will be a magnificent show
00:21:28A truly exceptional show
00:21:32Ciccio
00:21:33Siori officers, gentlemen of the troops
00:21:35I have the honor to introduce myself
00:21:36The idiots have arrived
00:21:39Let's go
00:21:39Ceccio, I still don't believe it
00:21:55We are really lucky
00:21:56We are at the Baffudos camp
00:22:09We arrived at the Baffudos camp
00:22:17Throw those two idiots down
00:22:21Maybe guys, we're here, come down
00:22:28Here, here, here, we have arrived
00:22:30Oh, I'll go down first
00:22:31Dude, there's no B, there's no B, there's no runway, there's no airport
00:22:46What? Excuse me, where's the airport?
00:22:48You two have arrived, you have to get off
00:22:51Give me the sock, give me the sock, but I'm not getting off from there
00:22:53Oh, do you want some dick?
00:22:55Come here, stop
00:22:57Enough with the jokes now
00:22:59You must throw yourself down immediately
00:23:02You are soldiers and you must obey
00:23:03Go ahead, brands
00:23:04Go ahead, brands
00:23:06One, two
00:23:07One, two, for
00:23:08Right row, brands
00:23:10On the roof on the right
00:23:12But we are left-handed
00:23:13Make them get off
00:23:14Sardines, serve
00:23:15Ciccio, how are you?
00:23:40I'm here, above you!
00:23:42And what are you doing up there? I had a bad dream!
00:23:45They threw us out of a plane!
00:23:47It's not a dream, it's the truth!
00:23:49We're flying with parachutes!
00:23:51Oh mama!
00:23:53Ah, let me down!
00:23:55Give me a pedal!
00:23:57Ah, let me get off at the first stop!
00:24:00Long live the revolution!
00:24:03Long live agrarian reform!
00:24:06Long live the revolution!
00:24:09Long live the cheat!
00:24:11Long live the cheater!
00:24:13Long live the cheat!
00:24:16A man in the air!
00:24:18Ah!
00:24:19Say, Beijing!
00:24:20Are you sure you saw correctly?
00:24:22Is this really a man in the air or are you drunk again?
00:24:25I tell you he's a man...
00:24:27In fact, now I see two!
00:24:28Well, what if you see double? Then you're drunk!
00:24:31Listen to me, I'll hear about the malamuerte!
00:24:33If I'm drunk, you're a real idiot!
00:24:36Have you never heard of the baracadutists?
00:24:38Well, go tell the boss right away that two American barratroopers
00:24:42they're landing a stone's throw from the camp!
00:24:45Two American barratroopers?
00:24:46Yes!
00:24:47They're going to warn the boss right away!
00:24:49Two para!
00:24:51Two para!
00:24:52But what's happening to you?
00:24:53You've lost your voice!
00:24:54Two American paratroopers, over there!
00:24:56For Americans...
00:24:58All right!
00:24:59Now let's get them ready for the holidays!
00:25:02Safety devices in action!
00:25:04Yes boss!
00:25:05Go!
00:25:07Go!
00:25:08Go!
00:25:09Go!
00:25:10Go!
00:25:11Go!
00:25:12Go!
00:25:13Go!
00:25:14Go!
00:25:20Pipit is there yet, I haven't put my feet down?
00:25:27Where are you?
00:25:28I don't touch. What do I know? Here I am.
00:25:31Get up.
00:25:32Wait, help me. Blood has a head.
00:25:35What a beautiful hole I made. Where are you?
00:25:38Here.
00:25:38Where?
00:25:39Here?
00:25:39Wait.
00:25:40I can't see.
00:25:41I'm all cocky.
00:25:44The ghost! The ghost! Run away, Ciccia! The ghost!
00:25:49Oh my God! Oh my God! The ghost!
00:25:51But what ghost is the fallen bread?
00:25:54Frank!
00:25:55Dude!
00:25:56Oh! Where are you?
00:25:59Underground!
00:26:01Died!
00:26:01Come now! And you're dead too! You're a ghost!
00:26:06Don't worry about falling bread!
00:26:09Help me out!
00:26:11Luckily, I can hear where your voice is coming from! I'm coming to save you!
00:26:16You come!
00:26:18Here I am! I'm coming!
00:26:23Is there someone inside the trap? Let's go see!
00:26:26Hurry up with these ropes!
00:26:34What do we do with the two paratroopers?
00:26:37Do we shoot them?
00:26:38No!
00:26:39Colothers are precious.
00:26:41We need to economize.
00:26:43So we'll hang them.
00:26:45Prepare the strength.
00:26:46She's always ready, boss.
00:26:48All we need are the animals.
00:26:49Pecchino!
00:26:50Bring the horses here!
00:26:52All right, Ciccherone.
00:26:53Let's go!
00:27:10I understand that you have a lot of sympathy for us both, but now you are exaggerating.
00:27:14I apologize.
00:27:15Look, I don't know who you are, but I have to thank you, because without you we would have died like two rats.
00:27:21But with me you will die like two turkeys.
00:27:24As!
00:27:25Let's go!
00:27:26After you!
00:27:26Go!
00:27:28Help!
00:27:29Death to the window!
00:27:31No!
00:27:32No!
00:27:32Ah, the tie!
00:27:36No, it's a noose!
00:27:37To death!
00:27:39To death!
00:27:40Away with the horses!
00:27:42No!
00:27:43Go!
00:27:45Stop everyone!
00:27:46Those two are prisoners of us guerrillas.
00:27:48You have no right to kill them.
00:27:49Thank you, my beautiful lady, you saved our lives.
00:28:01If she hadn't come along, we would have ended up like turkeys.
00:28:04For me, you'll end up like moles.
00:28:06Some moles.
00:28:07They fell into our traps, now wait for us out there.
00:28:10Below!
00:28:10No!
00:28:15We men must be the ones to execute them.
00:28:17Pull them up!
00:28:19And you women mustn't get involved, understood?
00:28:22Below!
00:28:25On!
00:28:26Below!
00:28:27On!
00:28:28On!
00:28:28No, that's enough!
00:28:30The task of killing Americans falls to us men.
00:28:33Death to the Americans!
00:28:34To death!
00:28:35May I?
00:28:37Excuse the noose.
00:28:38Am I wrong or did I hear about Americans?
00:28:41Yes!
00:28:41Regional mistake, there was one!
00:28:44We Sicilians are.
00:28:46Sicilians?
00:28:46Yes!
00:28:47Get a horse up there!
00:28:50Prano cannù!
00:28:51Enough!
00:28:53If you are Sicilian, why do you wear the uniforms of American paratroopers?
00:28:57Explain to him!
00:28:57I'll come and explain myself.
00:28:59Look, we are two traveling shows, but they tricked us.
00:29:02You see, they took us, they tracked us, they paralyzed us,
00:29:06they airplaneed us, they threw us, you found us.
00:29:10This is the distant story of the usual shepherd.
00:29:12And if the gentlemen allow me, I would like to point out to you,
00:29:15that before we fell from the plane,
00:29:21did we knock down two of theirs?
00:29:23It's true, it's true, Alvaro.
00:29:25We found the torn corpse of a policeman from that pig Limar.
00:29:28We found one too.
00:29:30No, maybe these two are telling the truth.
00:29:32This isn't the first time that pig has tried to scam us.
00:29:35But how stupid you are, the tyrant is setting a trap for you
00:29:37and you fall into it like a dream.
00:29:39Tazita, you fell for it too.
00:29:41That bastard Limar wanted us to attack the Americans
00:29:44to provoke their reaction.
00:29:46But I'm too smart, no one can do it to me.
00:29:49But listen up, you two.
00:29:51If I find just one American paratrooper,
00:29:53I'll have you flayed alive.
00:29:54Okay.
00:29:55Vamos todos a nueva Kiracao.
00:29:57We forgot the two hanged men.
00:30:05You two, free them.
00:30:07Long live the cheater, long live the cheater.
00:30:11Long live the revolution, long live the revolutionary.
00:30:16Am I wrong or did they want to hang us?
00:30:18Yes, I had the same impression.
00:30:19Long live the cheater, long live the cheater, long live the cheater, long live the cheater.
00:30:44I'm very glad to see you, Colonel Smith.
00:30:47Sorry I'm not up, but I had a little accident with a crocodile.
00:30:50Crocodile?
00:30:51Yes, a hunting accident, in short.
00:30:53Sir, Ambassador, the Pentagon's orders are precise.
00:30:56We must not attack the natives
00:30:58and we just have to react to their possible attacks.
00:31:01Yes, yes, I know, I know.
00:31:02I certainly didn't call you to defend this dictator...
00:31:04This little dictator maniac
00:31:07you think to protect our compatriots, their property.
00:31:09Long live the revolution, long live the revolution.
00:31:12Long live the revolution, long live the revolution.
00:31:14Long live the revolution.
00:31:15Long live the revolution, long live the revolution.
00:31:17Long live the revolution, long live the revolution.
00:31:21Long live the revolution.
00:31:22Long live the revolution.
00:31:26Look, the cheaters.
00:31:37You have deceived us from the outside.
00:31:39The cheaters were there, this is an ambush.
00:31:41But you'll pay me, I'll escort you to live it, word from the bar
00:31:44Where have you gone, Christians, to be with others?
00:31:57And this is what you say, but in the long run you don't understand anything, put it away
00:32:01What are you saying, I'm your fellow countryman, I don't understand English
00:32:04These Italians and Americans have been living in America for a hundred years and still don't know our language.
00:32:09To shelter with others, hurry, to iron quickly, hurry
00:32:13Let's take cover, yeah
00:32:14But how do you speak English?
00:32:31And because the ten men, we are prepared, the four of us are enough
00:32:35When you are ready to die, you are worth double, he will insert
00:32:39You're right, Sergeant Sullivan, you're right
00:32:40Yeah, but you, let's go take those four snipers
00:32:44And go, and tell me too, when you did it I told you.
00:32:47So much time to joke
00:32:49Or, maybe, one of you is scared.
00:32:51One of us two
00:32:52We are both afraid
00:32:54Let's hurry up there
00:32:56I'll go up, you two stay here on guard.
00:33:17Whoever comes will step over your dead body before reaching the ladder.
00:33:19Andersender, repeat the delivery
00:33:21Yes, yes, whoever comes must first pass over your dead body to get to the stairs.
00:33:24On yours, not mine
00:33:26Over your dead body
00:33:26On his
00:33:27But do we want to come to an agreement with these corpses?
00:33:29On your
00:33:31On your
00:33:32Okay, sorry.
00:33:33Bar the door
00:33:39Here you are
00:33:40Be careful what you do
00:33:45Oh, we saved ourselves well
00:33:49Go, go, go
00:33:50What are you doing, shooting?
00:33:51But can't you see that the door is closed?
00:33:53What if he knocks?
00:33:54Will you say there is no one?
00:33:55There is no one
00:33:56But no, when they knock
00:33:57Oh
00:34:09For goodness sake
00:34:11They caught us from behind
00:34:12Come on, quickly
00:34:13Let's go and knock them down
00:34:14Attention, Jack
00:34:16Those bastards choose the roof
00:34:18And they go coming home
00:34:19Let's pull up the ladder
00:34:20Everyone to everyone
00:34:21Ciccio
00:34:26The mustachioed ones are coming
00:34:28They flay us alive
00:34:29Let's run away
00:34:30But where are we going?
00:34:31Those people got screwed
00:34:31Even the scale
00:34:32Give us back the ladder
00:34:33Soon
00:34:34Let's climb the bell ropes
00:34:36Yes
00:34:36I preferred the strings on my guitar
00:34:38Soon
00:34:52Soon
00:34:52Let's take them
00:34:53On me
00:34:54Elk
00:34:55you played them for us
00:35:10really even if nobody asked us
00:35:13we played them anyway
00:35:14the bells
00:35:16ah you are very parash
00:35:17joke even in battle
00:35:19now go to the bell tower to see some situation
00:35:22on
00:35:22but I suffer from vertigo
00:35:25Excuse me
00:35:26up there we will be safer
00:35:31Every now and then someone with a moustache comes here
00:35:33who want to flay us alive
00:35:34You are right
00:35:35we're going up
00:35:37good boys
00:35:38never refuse the most difficult positions
00:35:40Men like these are born once in seven years for me.
00:35:45hands up
00:35:50two rifles
00:35:51finally some peace
00:36:03four two will make Americans on the bell tower
00:36:06now I dry them
00:36:08it was another coup from those two devils
00:36:18hey you two come down
00:36:19you were very fine
00:36:20I'll give you a mountain of decorations
00:36:22it will make you thrill
00:36:24look, it's a rip-off
00:36:25we've already taken enough
00:36:27come on down boys
00:36:295
00:36:3010
00:36:3150
00:36:3225
00:36:3230
00:36:3335
00:36:3540
00:36:3545
00:36:3650
00:36:3752
00:36:383 of them are dead
00:36:41no it's not possible
00:36:42there must be some mistake
00:36:435
00:36:4510
00:36:4515
00:36:4620
00:36:4730
00:36:4840
00:36:4850
00:36:4950
00:36:5050
00:36:5052
00:36:51hey boys let's not kill around
00:36:54it's the first time in military history that a regiment after having fought a battle
00:36:58instead of decreasing in numbers increases in number
00:37:01everybody take out the dog tags
00:37:03and now both of you better tell me why you don't have the required dog tags
00:37:14what do you say?
00:37:15Why don't you have dog tags?
00:37:17ah
00:37:18we don't have plates because we eat from mess tins
00:37:21and don't tell me you don't know what dog tags are
00:37:22what kind of para are you anyway?
00:37:25what kind of parasite?
00:37:27ah
00:37:27two rain covers
00:37:28but they fought like lions
00:37:31be a trick
00:37:33a fake
00:37:34dear sergeant
00:37:36why these two are not true para-Americans
00:37:39they infiltrated our ranks to gain our trust
00:37:43their being
00:37:44you spies of dirty baffudos
00:37:47exactly like that
00:37:47well then
00:37:48do you men know exactly what can happen
00:37:50if someone is caught wearing a military uniform during wartime?
00:37:55a firing squad
00:37:57what did he say?
00:37:58he says you will be shot
00:38:00ah
00:38:00we will be shot
00:38:01ah
00:38:02but why?
00:38:04Excuse me
00:38:04but but but but but
00:38:05save us for goodness sake
00:38:06don't do it for us
00:38:08but do it for these American uniforms
00:38:10I'm telling you that he's a family man
00:38:13take them away
00:38:14and deliver them to the Lehman policeman
00:38:16they will take care of fixing them
00:38:17away
00:38:17I don't understand it
00:38:19what a beautiful end your wonderful plan has had Diego
00:38:23but glorious leader
00:38:24you thought of the plan
00:38:26shut up
00:38:27don't make me angry now
00:38:28the American ambassador wants those unfortunates
00:38:31be regularly processed
00:38:33he says that we must not act like the Russians
00:38:35and what does it matter to you?
00:38:36we all know how the process will end
00:38:38the judge is your brother
00:38:40what are you worried about?
00:38:43My dear
00:38:44don't you understand?
00:38:46if those two vote the sack during the trial
00:38:48the Americans
00:38:49they come to discover the trick he organized
00:38:51but I pray from you
00:38:52but enough is enough and let's insist again
00:38:55you really want to end up against the wall too
00:38:59and for you since there are no Americans involved
00:39:02I shouldn't even have to go through the process
00:39:04no glorious boss
00:39:05I confess the stupid plan was mine
00:39:07Here you are
00:39:08and if the Americans discover that this perfect idiot
00:39:12he had organized a provocation
00:39:14to force them to intervene against the mustachioed men
00:39:16do you know what's happening?
00:39:17they leave us in the lurch and go away
00:39:19yes you stay cool
00:39:20they do not abandon the factories and the dollars invested
00:39:23they throw us into the sea
00:39:24and set up another government
00:39:26so what do you want to do?
00:39:28Well first of all I would like to talk to the two prisoners
00:39:31fat
00:39:32we are two unfortunates
00:39:34Here they're going to end up shooting us
00:39:36little fatso
00:39:37but I say
00:39:38why didn't they take us to Ucciardone in Palermo?
00:39:40the relatives were there
00:39:41friends
00:39:42they organized the passes for us
00:39:43eh here here here
00:39:44and here we can't even escape
00:39:46because if we can escape
00:39:48it's true that we avoid being shot
00:39:49then come the ones with the moustaches
00:39:51and they flay us
00:39:52so so
00:39:53and with this excuse
00:39:54that they have to shoot us
00:39:55they don't even bring us food
00:39:57and I didn't even find anything for myself
00:39:59I tried with these damn bars
00:40:02but I can't do it
00:40:03they are hard
00:40:03they are indigestible
00:40:04fat
00:40:04they are indigestible
00:40:05you know what I tell you?
00:40:07what do I say to myself?
00:40:07that if it continues like this
00:40:08they don't shoot us anymore
00:40:09Why?
00:40:10they free us
00:40:10then we are safe
00:40:11No
00:40:12first we will die of hunger
00:40:14oh of hunger
00:40:14you two follow me
00:40:26we can't
00:40:27our legs are shaking
00:40:29the general wants you for lunch
00:40:31he wants to eat us
00:40:33he didn't expect me
00:40:35that we become a free-range
00:40:36hand
00:40:38little idiots
00:40:40what did you understand?
00:40:41you are invited to lunch by the general
00:40:43you are his guests
00:40:44ah yes we eat
00:40:45a moment
00:40:46take them
00:40:47take them
00:40:48the second
00:41:10Soon
00:41:17Soon
00:41:20Soon
00:41:32Soon
00:41:33Soon
00:41:34Soon
00:41:38Soon
00:41:40Soon
00:41:42some form of cheese
00:41:43caramba what an appetite
00:41:45go
00:41:47us
00:41:52we made you sell here
00:41:54to ask you for information
00:41:56but we haven't started eating yet
00:41:59What did you tell the Americans?
00:42:02We didn't say anything.
00:42:03Sorry, no.
00:42:05Also because they didn't ask us anything.
00:42:07But how come they didn't question you?
00:42:09No.
00:42:10No.
00:42:11Sorry, no.
00:42:13Even though they questioned us, we didn't understand them and they didn't understand us.
00:42:17Let them come, let them come.
00:42:18Let them come.
00:42:19It's a shame.
00:42:20These American gentlemen are, in my opinion, extremely ignorant.
00:42:22I couldn't even understand Sicilian.
00:42:25So Americans know that you are just two immigrants.
00:42:27And no, someone must have made some anonymous phone calls from Sicily.
00:42:31Ah, okay, beautiful, perfectly.
00:42:34So they don't even know that I was the one who dressed you up as paratroopers and threw you into the plague.
00:42:38It was him, that bastard.
00:42:40All right, all right, yes, the Americans know nothing.
00:42:43No, no, no.
00:42:43I won't even speak.
00:42:45He's good.
00:42:46And then they'll never know why I'll kill you two with cadis.
00:42:49Oh, no.
00:42:50Let's not joke.
00:42:51One moment, eh.
00:42:52I can't stomach balls.
00:42:54Stop everyone.
00:42:54Raise your hands, surrender, file.
00:42:56I throw down my weapons.
00:42:58I'm not redeeming it.
00:43:00Ciccio, the flayer, let's run away.
00:43:04Excuse me, eh.
00:43:05Over here.
00:43:07Back, the shot.
00:43:12A moment I move.
00:43:13Oh my god, let's run away.
00:43:15You come.
00:43:16Excuse me, Mr. Corpse.
00:43:18Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:23Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:24Don't shoot, stop.
00:43:25We give up.
00:43:26Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:26Ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:27Do it for your children.
00:43:28Ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:28Do it for your fathers.
00:43:30Do it for whoever you want, but do it.
00:43:33Do it.
00:43:33Hey, what's up?
00:43:34But these are not two men.
00:43:36And who are they?
00:43:36They are two wooden puppets.
00:43:38Then do it for your carpenters who built you.
00:43:41Come on, carpenter.
00:43:42Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:43:43Only two mannequins in uniform.
00:43:45Two mannequins.
00:43:46Eh, these.
00:43:47Yes.
00:43:47Dressed to be ice cream
00:43:48Stigmo
00:43:49Ugly bastard
00:43:54You're done exploiting the people
00:43:56Now you will pay for all your crimes
00:43:58What are you doing now? Do you want to kill me?
00:44:00No
00:44:01Oh, thank goodness, I'll give you a nice reward
00:44:04I don't need your money
00:44:06I'll take it myself anyway
00:44:08As long as it doesn't take my life
00:44:09I won't take it away from you
00:44:10No, I don't want to get my hands dirty with your filthy blood.
00:44:15You will be subjected to a very regular process
00:44:18And you will be regularly condemned to die
00:44:21And he calls it a fair trial.
00:44:23If you already know how it ends
00:44:24You think about being the accused
00:44:25And don't bother with anything else
00:44:27Beijing
00:44:27Take these two scoundrels to jail
00:44:30You
00:44:31Call all news agencies immediately
00:44:35Understood?
00:44:36I have to make some important statements.
00:44:39The rest of you?
00:44:41Take this out
00:44:42United Press
00:44:44The new dictator of Santa Prisca
00:44:46Alvaro Garcia
00:44:47Call everyone to a press conference
00:44:49Shall we go out?
00:44:51Go out?
00:44:52But you know we're being chased
00:44:53From those who want to kill us
00:44:54And from those others who want to flay us alive?
00:44:56Oh yeah
00:44:57It's all the fault of these uniforms
00:44:59We have to change it right away
00:45:01Oh yeah
00:45:02You are right
00:45:03Listen, what are we doing?
00:45:04I'll put on yours
00:45:05And you put mine on
00:45:06Huh?
00:45:08We found at least two civilian clothes
00:45:10And where do you find them?
00:45:11Huh?
00:45:12Look
00:45:13What's up?
00:45:13What is that?
00:45:14A wardrobe
00:45:15And what's inside the wardrobe?
00:45:17A gamekeeper
00:45:17No
00:45:18Do you have a wardrobe at home?
00:45:21Of course I have it
00:45:21And what's inside?
00:45:23Oh
00:45:23My sister's boyfriend
00:45:24The married one
00:45:25No
00:45:26There are clothes
00:45:28Ah the clothes
00:45:29Oh yeah the clothes
00:45:30You will see that in civilian clothes
00:45:33Nobody will recognize us anymore
00:45:34And see if there are any outlets for me
00:45:36Child
00:45:37But this is the arsenal of the armed forces
00:45:46There isn't even a civilian suit
00:45:48How is it done?
00:45:48It's all divided by general
00:45:49I don't dress like a general
00:45:51And instead you dress up in it
00:45:52Why?
00:45:53Why a general is an important person
00:45:54And respected by all
00:45:55Remember
00:45:57Mr. General
00:45:58Rejoice, citizens!
00:45:59Limar's dictatorship has been overthrown
00:46:01The tyrant is in jail
00:46:03Every general of Limar will be killed
00:46:06We are all free
00:46:07Long live freedom!
00:46:08Long live freedom!
00:46:10Long live freedom!
00:46:11Long live freedom!
00:46:12Where did I hear that, ma'am?
00:46:14The new era has begun
00:46:14The Age of Freedom
00:46:16From today we will all be equal
00:46:18We the mustaches
00:46:20The architects of the revolution
00:46:21The liberators of the people of Santa Prisca
00:46:24We will be more equal than others
00:46:26And I who am the leader of the mustachioed
00:46:28I will be even more equal than everyone else
00:46:30And so from this moment on
00:46:32I assume absolute power
00:46:33Is that okay with me?
00:46:35Ah!
00:46:36And instead it doesn't suit me at all
00:46:38Colonel
00:46:39Go to the government palace
00:46:40And arrest this idiot
00:46:41Everything I said
00:46:49On the balcony I confirm it to you
00:46:51We will not commit any wrongdoing
00:46:54What did Limar do?
00:46:55We will be
00:46:56Chief, glorious chief
00:46:59You are the most handsome dictator in the world
00:47:02You made a wonderful speech.
00:47:11Thank you
00:47:12But aren't you the dictator's wife?
00:47:15Yes, but now you are the dictator.
00:47:18It is true
00:47:19Gentlemen, the interview is over.
00:47:23Go!
00:47:24Go!
00:47:25Out of the way
00:47:26I just think that as a dictator you don't present yourself very well.
00:47:37It doesn't seem so to you too
00:47:38These glorious rags are the ones I've been wearing for years in the bush
00:47:42That's why they're so dirty
00:47:43You come
00:47:44I've got just the thing for you
00:47:46In this room there is a wardrobe full of beautiful, white uniforms
00:47:50I could choose the one that most...
00:47:51Boss, I'm going to have all the generals killed.
00:47:53You come
00:47:57You come
00:47:57But this uniform is a bit heavy
00:48:05Oh, of course, you have the shirt on.
00:48:08Thank goodness, this way you save me from a cold
00:48:10But no, the shirt is made of steel
00:48:12Then I'll change it
00:48:13But what change?
00:48:13Here you are
00:48:17Here you can find and choose exactly what you need
00:48:20Traitor
00:48:22You lured me into a trap
00:48:24Hand
00:48:25You're wrong.
00:48:26They are mannequins that the old tyrant kept here to see the effect of his uniforms.
00:48:30Listen
00:48:31They are made of wood
00:48:33These two look like someone
00:48:56To whom?
00:48:58To two traitors disguised as American paratroopers
00:49:01That I promised to flay alive
00:49:04Don't you like this uniform, my boss?
00:49:07Yes
00:49:07It's quite beautiful
00:49:09I'm almost tempted to wear this one
00:49:11But I think this one suits you better.
00:49:13This one is quite elegant too
00:49:15Almost almost
00:49:17But what a traitorous face?
00:49:21When you think about how that guy made fun of me
00:49:23You know what I feel like doing?
00:49:25What?
00:49:26To put a bullet in his head?
00:49:28No, it's not worth it
00:49:29You would ruin the cap
00:49:30Let's see how it looks on you
00:49:31Oh, it looks great on you.
00:49:35Do you believe?
00:49:36You come
00:49:37Here are some more uniforms
00:49:42Look how beautiful they are
00:49:43Do you like them?
00:49:47I'll take this one
00:49:47She is modest
00:49:50And it befits a son of the revolution
00:49:52Do I have to take away all these medals?
00:49:55No, no, no, no
00:49:56Now that I'm dictator, they'll give me the orders of chivalry too.
00:50:00Just these two of the campaigns against the rebels
00:50:05That is, against the maffudos
00:50:06Here, let's throw them away
00:50:08No
00:50:09Why?
00:50:11They can always be useful
00:50:13My love
00:50:14Yesterday's rebels
00:50:16They can become the rebels of tomorrow
00:50:18You never know
00:50:20Let's put them here, on the mannequin
00:50:26To the
00:50:28Dear
00:50:37Look
00:50:41What do you think?
00:50:44You are very handsome, Alvaro
00:50:46Dressed like this, you know
00:50:47Are you serious?
00:50:49Certain
00:50:49You are the most handsome dictator in the world
00:50:55But
00:51:02But what?
00:51:05I think you would look better dressed in something else.
00:51:07As?
00:51:09In pajamas
00:51:10In pajamas
00:51:11Not now, later
00:51:13Now I have to go and make some more statements on the radio
00:51:17Come on, let's go
00:51:17Ezi
00:51:24I'm leaving, I'm putting my tracksuit back on
00:51:26Stop
00:51:27But didn't you see that I was losing my skin?
00:51:28But what do you want to go out?
00:51:29Dressed as a combat soldier
00:51:30So what?
00:51:31But you didn't understand that the new dictator is the one with the mustache
00:51:33Who wants to flay us alive?
00:51:35So what do we do?
00:51:36Listen to my advice
00:51:37Dress them up as a general
00:51:38Yes
00:51:39You know what the saying goes?
00:51:40No
00:51:40A general is better today
00:51:42That an egg tomorrow
00:51:43No
00:51:43A general is better today
00:51:45What two hens after tomorrow
00:51:46No
00:51:46That two deaths tomorrow
00:51:48Yes
00:51:48The generals who are the cause of everything
00:51:51Kill them without mercy
00:51:53Did you hear?
00:51:57We need to kill all the generals
00:51:59And do you think generals go around without weapons?
00:52:02They will at least go in a tank
00:52:04This is a gas can
00:52:13And here we have what we need against tanks
00:52:16Boys
00:52:17Let's prepare some Molotov cocktails
00:52:19Death to the generals
00:52:21And here we need it against the tanks
00:52:22We don't need it against tanks
00:52:24And here we need it against the petitions
00:52:26He would like the son to be Thom
00:52:38Ciccio, for the first time you're really right
00:52:55These uniforms are right for us
00:52:57But then do you think I'm stupid?
00:52:59Yes, that's exactly it.
00:53:00I told you that in this country the generals are in charge
00:53:02They do what they want
00:53:04But at least the people, they mistreat everyone
00:53:07And above all they eat, drink and don't pay
00:53:10This is life, this is life
00:53:11What is that?
00:53:13A coffee shop
00:53:14Now let's go in, eat and don't pay, come on
00:53:16Are you really sure?
00:53:19Very sure, I recommend, martial aspect
00:53:22Then we don't go in
00:53:23Why?
00:53:24If you wait for Martian
00:53:25Martial, martial, meaning style, style
00:53:29I walk
00:53:30I walk
00:53:35Beware the generals
00:53:36Did you see them all standing at attention?
00:53:41I saw
00:53:41Martial aspect
00:53:43Go!
00:53:47Leave the table free
00:53:48Go!
00:53:54All right?
00:53:55Excuse me
00:53:56They are armed
00:54:00And we don't
00:54:01It can be fixed immediately
00:54:03Here on the corner there is a detachment of guerrillas
00:54:06Go there immediately and get all the weapons.
00:54:08Fly
00:54:09Valora Coffee Makers
00:54:11You come
00:54:12Right away, sir.
00:54:14Quick
00:54:16Bring us good
00:54:20We have nothing, sir.
00:54:21And you tell us with that face?
00:54:23I don't have any others
00:54:24Ah, you only have one face
00:54:26But it's enough for what I have to do with it.
00:54:29What's in those bottles?
00:54:32Aguardiente
00:54:32Bring it to us
00:54:33But, sir
00:54:34Bring it to us
00:54:36If not I'll slap you
00:54:38When I get angry it's a mess
00:54:43And what do we drink it with?
00:54:47With the mouth
00:54:48Oh, you're funny too, huh?
00:54:50Ah, ah, ah, ah
00:54:51Old man
00:54:52Bring us two clean glasses
00:54:54Can't you see these are dirty?
00:54:59Dirty
00:54:59These are fine with us
00:55:05General Avù
00:55:08General
00:55:11To the health of our great army
00:55:14To the bourgeoisie of Villa Borghesi
00:55:17But this is gasoline
00:55:20Super
00:55:22But what is it?
00:55:24A fakir
00:55:24He's really a fakir
00:55:26God forbid
00:55:28Ciccio
00:55:29I have the impression that they recognized me
00:55:32Of course, you don't act like a general.
00:55:34He must be more arrogant
00:55:35Watch me, watch me
00:55:37Coffee makers
00:55:38Yes?
00:55:39Give me a cigar
00:55:39I don't have any
00:55:40No, eh
00:55:41So what are these?
00:55:44I do not know
00:55:44No
00:55:46Ciamone
00:55:47Give me fire
00:55:53Obey
00:55:55Give me fire
00:55:56You got thick skin, huh?
00:56:13I breathe fire
00:56:26Spit
00:56:27The generals are too strong for here
00:56:29Oh, I see.
00:56:29Let's run away
00:56:30Let's run away
00:56:30Let's run away
00:56:30Let's run away
00:56:31Let's run away
00:56:32Let's run away
00:56:32Here are the weapons
00:56:34Now we'll make them go through the massacre ourselves.
00:56:41Did you see?
00:56:43What was I telling you?
00:56:44You managed to scare him, huh?
00:56:46It's better that way
00:56:47So we can eat in peace and quiet
00:56:49Coffee makers, a bottle of the good stuff
00:56:57Possibly out of gas
00:56:59It's all the same to me
00:57:01It seems like a fakir, it sounds
00:57:03Yes
00:57:03Silence!
00:57:09Give us something to eat
00:57:10Olivetti, huh?
00:57:17Yes, you like it
00:57:18Olive
00:57:18Is there nothing else to eat?
00:57:22Shut up!
00:57:26Here
00:57:27Here
00:57:28The villagers entered
00:57:30And who cares?
00:57:32They are armed
00:57:33Maybe they want to give us the present with weapons
00:57:35After!
00:57:35You've finished eating
00:57:38Huh?
00:57:54I have the steel mesh
00:57:56Did you hear?
00:57:58He has the steel mesh
00:57:59Then we must hang them.
00:58:02But what are you doing?
00:58:03But I have a fixation this one
00:58:04But how is it, mom?
00:58:06But let's play jokes
00:58:06After you
00:58:07After you
00:58:09Capatazzo
00:58:14There is a group of villagers
00:58:15Who captured two generals of Limaro
00:58:17Good, good
00:58:18Now we're going to have fun
00:58:20Let them in
00:58:22It is allowed
00:58:28Ciccio
00:58:33The flayer
00:58:34Come forward, you two.
00:58:36Come on, I'm walking
00:58:37HI
00:58:38I'm coming
00:58:40I know these ones
00:58:44But these two are not generals
00:58:48They are the traitors I swore to flay alive
00:58:51They are recognized
00:58:52But, but
00:58:53Who said I want to flay them alive?
00:58:57Who said that?
00:58:58Who started this rumor?
00:59:00Huh?
00:59:01And in C three gallide three popo
00:59:03All in...
00:59:04Enough!
00:59:06I won't let you be flayed alive
00:59:08Oh
00:59:08Oh
00:59:09You will only be shot
00:59:11Oh yes
00:59:12Take them to the palace courtyard
00:59:14And put them to the sword
00:59:16What are you saying?
00:59:16Thus perish the traitors
00:59:18Give up everyone
00:59:46Give up
01:00:16Thank you
01:00:19Thank you
01:00:19So, what's the situation?
01:00:30Oh
01:00:30The Sicilian Vespers, in comparison, become a simple tarandella.
01:00:33Should we cut and run? Should we go out?
01:00:35Let's go out
01:00:35What happened?
01:00:51A short circuit
01:00:52Go put them in jail
01:01:02Via
01:01:02I feel obliged to thank you, generals, for the help you have given us.
01:01:12Well, given the help we've given you, why don't you lend us something too?
01:01:17What should I lend you?
01:01:19A little money
01:01:20We want to leave, we want to return to Sicily
01:01:23There's war here, revolution, let's stop it, let's stop it
01:01:27Shut up
01:01:27It's too early to judge
01:01:29Excuse me, I would like to inform our ambassador
01:01:32Face
01:01:32Face
01:01:33Listen, mark this long distance because I don't pay for it.
01:01:36Oh
01:01:36Please
01:01:38Excuse me
01:01:39No
01:01:40There is?
01:01:45Understood?
01:01:48Well
01:01:48Hands up, you are surrounded
01:01:54If you take one step we'll disappear
01:01:56Don't shoot
01:01:57Bolsate
01:01:57Bolsatevi
01:01:58Bolsatevi
01:01:59Bolsatevi
01:02:00Bolsatevi
01:02:00What's up?
01:02:00Bolsatevi
01:02:01Bolsatevi
01:02:02Bolsatevi
01:02:03Bolsatevi
01:02:03Bolsatevi
01:02:04Bolsatevi
01:02:05Bolsatevi
01:02:06Bolsatevi
01:02:07Bolsatevi
01:02:08Bolsatevi
01:02:09Bolsatevi
01:02:10Bolsatevi
01:02:11Bolsatevi
01:02:11Bolsatevi
01:02:12Bolsatevi
01:02:13Bolsatevi
01:02:14Oh, is there? What's up?
01:02:17It was just a record.
01:02:19Martians, darling, let's run away!
01:02:21But not a flying disc, a phonographic disc!
01:02:24A photographic disc!
01:02:26I would like to speak to the American ambassador.
01:02:28I'm Colonel Smith.
01:02:30Ready?
01:02:31Mission accomplished, Alvaro is in prison.
01:02:33Oh, very good.
01:02:34But now I respectfully point out something to you.
01:02:37That in New Kiracao there is no government.
01:02:39I know, we absolutely have to form one, perhaps as an emergency.
01:02:42But no, it is not possible to reinstate Limar at the moment.
01:02:46Limar, the citizens are against him.
01:02:49It would be an unpopular solution.
01:02:50Mr. Ambassador, excuse me if I dare to make a suggestion.
01:02:53Why don't you give the job to someone from the army?
01:02:56In these cases it has always been the safest alternative.
01:02:59Right, that's true, Colonel.
01:03:00But where do I find a general?
01:03:02After the chaos of these days, they all gave themselves the blame.
01:03:05And then who can I trust?
01:03:06Don't worry about that, Mr. Ambassador.
01:03:08I will personally try to get him one.
01:03:10These are two men who showed courage in capturing Alvaro.
01:03:14They are two generals.
01:03:18So who was waiting for one of them from the office?
01:03:21But, but...
01:03:21At the?
01:03:24I'm Ciccio Primo.
01:03:26Of the barons of Cioppaculica of Varasdi.
01:03:28Born in Escucullo, resident in Escamillo.
01:03:30Of prosperous hopes with a loose handle.
01:03:33Yes, the new dictator of Santa Prisca.
01:03:36And listen, you'll want your postal card renewed.
01:03:38Oh, thanks.
01:03:43Huh?
01:03:45That?
01:03:46Huh?
01:03:46Dude, let's get out of here.
01:03:48I don't need your advice.
01:03:50I'll tell you when we have to melt away.
01:03:52Look, I'll shoot you, okay?
01:03:54Here you are just my right-hand man.
01:03:57And I remember...
01:04:00But what are you doing?
01:04:01I'm going to the right.
01:04:02My right-hand man, so to speak.
01:04:04My subordinate.
01:04:05Oh!
01:04:06But why do I have to shoot you?
01:04:07Why?
01:04:08Why?
01:04:09Sunday always leaves me alone.
01:04:12Enough!
01:04:13Call Rita Pavone.
01:04:15The Minister of Finance.
01:04:17Dial the number.
01:04:21I would say...
01:04:22And what are you doing?
01:04:25I'll dial the number.
01:04:26But the telephone number, Minister of Finance!
01:04:29Give me three melons!
01:04:34And two brioches with cream!
01:04:35That?
01:04:36But what brioche?
01:04:37But which brioche?
01:04:39Ready?
01:04:40And what is the name of the finance minister?
01:04:41Um...
01:04:42What are you doing?
01:04:43I'm doing 110.
01:04:45Hello, oh?
01:04:45110 information?
01:04:47Listen, what's the name of the finance minister?
01:04:50Calogero Rappesarda.
01:04:52I imagined him, a foreigner.
01:04:54At the?
01:04:55Minister Calogero?
01:04:56I'm Ciccio Primo.
01:04:57And tell me, is the state's monetary balance sheet damaged?
01:05:01Well!
01:05:02Send me the dictator's personal chest immediately.
01:05:06Yes, in my office.
01:05:08You will see the money coming in.
01:05:10And then it's time to get out of here.
01:05:12Leave it to me, leave it to me.
01:05:14Ciccio.
01:05:16Um...
01:05:16Who is?
01:05:16After you.
01:05:25But...
01:05:25But what is this?
01:05:26In the dictator's personal coffer, madam.
01:05:29But...
01:05:30Out!
01:05:31It was you!
01:05:31Out!
01:05:33Get out, I said!
01:05:44Good morning, General.
01:05:46Hey.
01:05:47Uh.
01:05:48But...
01:05:48But what are you doing?
01:05:51The cord.
01:05:52Yes.
01:05:52The dictator!
01:05:58Say.
01:05:59I am here for the requested document.
01:06:01The postal head!
01:06:02No, the amnesty.
01:06:04The amnesty?
01:06:04This is the first thing a dictator must do.
01:06:07But...
01:06:07But really I...
01:06:08Not...
01:06:08Not...
01:06:09The prison must be cleared immediately to put his enemies there.
01:06:13But...
01:06:13Eh, okay.
01:06:13If my successors did it, it means I will do it too.
01:06:16Excuse me if you intrude on this discussion, which is, let's say, of a ministerial nature.
01:06:21But does this amnesty also apply to Sicily?
01:06:24No.
01:06:24Oh, too bad.
01:06:26Our relatives who are in prison in Palermo and Lucciardone could benefit from it.
01:06:34Gentlemen, please, dignity.
01:06:36Yes.
01:06:37What?
01:06:38Tell me, Mr. Fanfarra.
01:06:40Good, Colonel.
01:06:42I brought the documents for signature.
01:06:44Do you sign them here or in front of the press?
01:06:46One moment.
01:06:49Excuse me.
01:07:01Sorry, okay.
01:07:04You better go to the press.
01:07:07Eh, okay.
01:07:08I'm going to the press.
01:07:10You there!
01:07:11Beware the throne.
01:07:12Let's go.
01:07:16They went out.
01:07:28Shoot them all!
01:07:33Dear Napoleon.
01:07:34Chief, glorious chief.
01:07:51Boss, beautiful boss.
01:07:55Excuse me!
01:07:59Sorry, yes.
01:08:04Sorry, sorry.
01:08:12Excuse me, could you do me the courtesy of letting me play dictator for 5 minutes?
01:08:16No! Get lost! Go away, I told you!
01:08:19Quick!
01:08:25He's selling fear! He's selling fear!
01:08:28Love!
01:08:30Come on, I told you!
01:08:33And remember that I am the dictator!
01:08:35Then go to the armory and get shot!
01:08:39How handsome you are! You're the most handsome dictator in the world!
01:08:44Do you like me?
01:08:45Yes, but you would be more beautiful in another way!
01:08:49As?
01:08:50In your pajamas!
01:08:52And pajamas it will be!
01:08:55Come dear, I'm an artist's son!
01:09:01And I'm sorry!
01:09:15And then we will have to resign ourselves to being governed by foreigners!
01:09:20No, that will never happen! My plan is brilliant, you'll see!
01:09:23Everything our men couldn't do, I will do!
01:09:26On to the next note, boom!
01:09:37The box will jump and with it is the palace!
01:09:40It will be the beginning of the revolt, of our revolt!
01:09:43Enough with male dictatorship!
01:09:44We want to enforce equal rights!
01:09:46Yes, there's nothing to be done!
01:09:47Women know more than the devil!
01:09:52Let's go! Let's go, Consuelo!
01:09:59My dear, this is my bedroom!
01:10:02I already know her!
01:10:03How do you know her?
01:10:05My love, I really like dictators!
01:10:09But I swear you are the most beautiful of all!
01:10:16Excuse me!
01:10:17Please!
01:10:19Well, here we need to create some atmosphere!
01:10:24There's no record player, there's no radio...
01:10:27Ah, ah! It fits perfectly! A television!
01:10:33Ciccio, please!
01:10:39I'm on the internet!
01:10:40What a crap program!
01:10:47No, always before your eyes!
01:10:50Ciccio Primo?
01:10:51I'll be right with you, dear!
01:10:56Come here, my love!
01:10:58Hug me tight!
01:11:00Granada!
01:11:04Dream land for me!
01:11:08Who is he? Who is he?
01:11:10After you!
01:11:15Excuse me, General, the US Ambassador is here.
01:11:18He says he absolutely needs to talk to her.
01:11:20Oh well, this is the annoying thing I'm coming to!
01:11:23Go, go!
01:11:26I'll be right back, dear.
01:11:27I'm coming back soon, sorry!
01:11:37My dear United States representative in America, off limits, the dictator Ciccio and his feet.
01:11:43Yes, yes, all right. Enough preamble and let's get to the main points.
01:11:47Sorry for the delay, but I had a cabinet meeting.
01:11:50My second.
01:11:51All right.
01:11:51As you may think, the situation in our country is tense, very tense.
01:11:56Do we want to say very tense?
01:11:57Yes, let's face it, very tense.
01:11:58To the point of requiring the Security Council to intervene once a month.
01:12:02Would you like a cigar, Mr. Ambassador?
01:12:08May I dance this?
01:12:09No thank you.
01:12:10I am sure that I will lead the country with such confidence that the Security Council will certainly not have to intervene.
01:12:19And this is little, but it is certain.
01:12:20Oh, you're welcome.
01:12:21A cigar.
01:12:23I said no, thanks.
01:12:26Adassion, adassion.
01:12:28If you allow me, Mr. Ambassador, I will explain my entire program to you.
01:12:31And enough of this, it's time to end it.
01:12:36Do you want a cigar?
01:12:38Please.
01:12:39All right.
01:12:42We are ready to defend democracy with all our heart, Mr. Ambassador, with all our fuego.
01:12:53Help, help, help.
01:12:56I dismiss her, I dismiss her.
01:12:59But I replace her, I dismiss her.
01:13:18Here we are.
01:13:20They come to shoot us.
01:13:21Come out, are you free?
01:13:30No, this is a joke.
01:13:33But no, the new foreman Cicci Impallomeni has granted an amnesty to everyone.
01:13:37General Impallomeni?
01:13:39But where did it come from?
01:13:40I don't know him, I only know that the new dictator of Santa Prista...
01:13:43But yes, I'll fix this usurper.
01:13:47Stop!
01:13:48Where are you going?
01:13:51Come on, come in!
01:13:52Yes, let's go in.
01:13:54But remember that you can never silence the voice of freedom.
01:13:59One, two, three, four, mic test.
01:14:23Citizens of Santa Priscola, of Santa Prisca, of Santa Prisca.
01:14:32This is Pasquale Impallomeni, Antaprimo.
01:14:37Objections?
01:14:38No.
01:14:39Silence!
01:14:39I'm sitting in this red-upholstered armchair
01:14:47because I was forced to
01:14:51after the dismissal of this fruitless and dog-eating tramp who stands before me.
01:14:57But don't you think you're exaggerating?
01:14:59Cute!
01:15:01Mountains!
01:15:02But what are they doing?
01:15:04Oh, stop them!
01:15:06Are you afraid of death?
01:15:07Certain.
01:15:09Sometimes, damn it!
01:15:15End of broadcast!
01:15:22What are you looking at?
01:15:24Foot!
01:15:28Boss.
01:15:31Glorious leader.
01:15:39You are handsome, you are very beautiful, you are the most handsome dictator in the world.
01:15:49Say it louder, make everyone hear it!
01:15:52You are the most handsome dictator in the world.
01:15:56Talk about me!
01:15:56Ah, my little rascal!
01:15:59Buffoon!
01:16:01Cute!
01:16:03Source!
01:16:03Oh no, we were joking, we're friends, right?
01:16:05Do I kill you sometimes?
01:16:07Rest.
01:16:07Let's send sanduzza.
01:16:08Thank you.
01:16:12You would look better in pajamas.
01:16:17Finally, alone!
01:16:19It's pajamas for me!
01:16:20Who is?
01:16:23My boss mug.
01:16:24You obviously prefer to be alone.
01:16:26Long live the boss!
01:16:28Long live the boss!
01:16:32Long live the boss!
01:16:34Long live the boss!
01:16:35Who is?
01:16:36Long live the boss!
01:16:38Long live the boss!
01:16:39Long live the boss!
01:16:44And who are these?
01:16:46No, you don't have to worry.
01:16:48It's just that Limar was very suspicious.
01:16:50He's the bodyguard.
01:16:52And I should show my body
01:16:54from these four disgusting people!
01:16:55Never this!
01:16:56Don't get angry.
01:16:57I only show my body to you.
01:16:59Small.
01:17:00What are you doing to me?
01:17:01My little one, little one!
01:17:04Wait, wait.
01:17:06It's hot.
01:17:07Excuse me.
01:17:09Open the window for a moment.
01:17:13For San Domingo, the door doesn't open.
01:17:16For Friday.
01:17:18Ah, here it is.
01:17:30Enough!
01:17:32What are you doing here?
01:17:33Candid the serenade, sir.
01:17:35And you're not candid, a candid!
01:17:37Let's go!
01:17:38Let's go!
01:17:39Pull the rope.
01:17:40It's another invention of Limar.
01:17:41Oh, yeah?
01:17:42Wait.
01:17:44Oh, yes.
01:17:47Granada!
01:17:49Earth!
01:17:51Here I am, Sylph.
01:17:53Come, come near me.
01:17:55Come close to me.
01:17:56Tell me something.
01:17:58This Limar had nothing else to think about.
01:18:02Let's not think about Limar, let's think about ourselves.
01:18:04You want?
01:18:05Yes, my jaguar.
01:18:07You put a tiger in my engine.
01:18:10What do you feel when my hands touch your misty curls?
01:18:14I feel.
01:18:16I feel.
01:18:17I feel thirsty.
01:18:19I could have a drink.
01:18:21Granada, land of fire, footprints.
01:18:36But may I know why I always have to have you underfoot?
01:18:39And the dictator called and I brought the champagneito for the sweetheart.
01:18:43But what champagneito and champagneito for the sweetheart?
01:18:45Let's go!
01:18:46If I don't have you shot, let's go!
01:18:49All right.
01:18:52One, two, three, four.
01:18:55Granada, a dream land for me.
01:18:59Damn you, you are a fat man.
01:19:00You are the antidote to love, but you will pay for it.
01:19:05Love.
01:19:06What's up?
01:19:07Honey, you know how much I love you.
01:19:09Yes, I'm going to get disabled and I'll be all yours.
01:19:16Nothing happened.
01:19:23I'm going to put on my pajamas.
01:19:31Here it is, I found it.
01:19:33I'll be with you right away.
01:19:34Don't be impatient.
01:19:36I'm burning with impatience.
01:19:39Here I am to you.
01:19:39My tyrant got hurt.
01:19:51It's nothing, just an impression.
01:19:52Impression.
01:19:54It's all Limar's fault, my dear.
01:19:56Limar is a great clown.
01:19:58My tyrant, you'll see, everything will pass now.
01:20:01You, you, you.
01:20:03Let's recreate the atmosphere.
01:20:05Tea.
01:20:05A little music.
01:20:08Oh no, wait.
01:20:09I'll take care of the music,
01:20:10otherwise that damned fat guy will arrive with those four scoundrels
01:20:13and ruins our evening.
01:20:14I'll take care of it.
01:20:15Here I am.
01:20:45What's up?
01:20:46What do you want?
01:20:48Don't you think it's time we left here?
01:20:50I find at this moment that everything is going well for me
01:20:52and that in five minutes Santa will fall into my arms?
01:20:56If I were you, I wouldn't think about Santa.
01:20:58I know why.
01:20:59Because the worm of jealousy begins to bite your heart.
01:21:02You're jealous.
01:21:03But how envious.
01:21:04Maybe you forget that Santa is Limar's woman.
01:21:06And from that moment to the next you can take revenge.
01:21:11But what are you doing?
01:21:12What do I do ritual, what do I do ritual.
01:21:14Maybe you don't know that Limar is in prison.
01:21:16And you know what I tell you?
01:21:17What do you tell me?
01:21:18Limar doesn't matter to me.
01:21:21Twisted long, long, long like a ladder.
01:21:26Listen to me carefully.
01:21:26How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not afraid of anyone?
01:21:29What interests me is my little Santa.
01:21:32And I will fight anyone who tries to take it away from me.
01:21:35But you are quite selfish.
01:21:36And don't worry, a little bit of it will be born for you too.
01:21:39Ah, are you making this effort?
01:21:40It is not for you that I make the effort, but it is for those that I want to take revenge.
01:21:46For me he's a great bullfighter.
01:21:48Hands up, turn around.
01:21:50Ninth.
01:21:50It can open fire.
01:21:52Dude, you fell for it.
01:21:54It's the turntable.
01:21:55Put your hand down.
01:21:56Put your hand down.
01:21:58Do you want to hear what he says?
01:22:00And now turn around.
01:22:01And now turn around if you don't want me to kill you both like dogs.
01:22:05If not, we'll shoot you in the back.
01:22:08Take them into the courtyard and have them shot immediately.
01:22:12But first make him take off my pajamas.
01:22:15Do we shoot them in their underwear?
01:22:17No, not in underwear.
01:22:18I'm modest.
01:22:18I'm thin.
01:22:19Silence, in my underwear I said.
01:22:21Let's go outside.
01:22:23Shoot them immediately.
01:22:24Out.
01:22:28I'm going with them, eh.
01:22:38Please.
01:22:51My capatazzo.
01:23:00The American ambassador wishes to speak to you.
01:23:02Let it pass immediately.
01:23:03Mr. Limar, I'm very happy to finally see them in your place.
01:23:14I'm really happy.
01:23:16After all, we've always gotten along.
01:23:19Yes, of course.
01:23:21And we will continue to get along.
01:23:22If she...
01:23:23And what is your last wish?
01:23:39Well, I'd like to kiss my mother.
01:23:41And where is your mother?
01:23:42In Sicily?
01:23:44Enough with the chit-chat!
01:23:53But all's well that ends well.
01:23:56A cigar?
01:23:58Yes please.
01:23:59No, no, no.
01:24:00I don't want this to be one of your usual pranks.
01:24:02No, this box is not mine.
01:24:04I found it here.
01:24:05Aim!
01:24:06Ten thousand on the horse!
01:24:08Don't worry, there is no expert.
01:24:15We are safe!
01:24:16Let's run away!
01:24:16Go!
01:24:18Wait!
01:24:18What's up?
01:24:19And what are we running away from?
01:24:19In your underwear?
01:24:20And do you want to dress up as a general again?
01:24:22No, as a paratrooper!
01:24:23Ah, aren't the troubles we've been through enough for you!
01:24:25At this point we no longer know who's in charge.
01:24:27The bearded men, the beardless men, the navy, the army.
01:24:30One thing is certain, the Americans always command.
01:24:33Let's stay as paratroopers, go on!
01:24:34Let's go!
01:24:34I'll cover your ass!
01:24:38Come out, you are free!
01:24:41How free?
01:24:42General Consuelo has seized power.
01:24:45Friends, we're on the right track!
01:24:48We are now the masters of New Chiaccao!
01:24:51Hurray!
01:24:54And from today, absolute command is in the hands of women.
01:24:57Consuelo, please, let's stop treating each other like cats and dogs.
01:25:01I am ready to recognize that we are all equal.
01:25:03It's too late, dear.
01:25:05Now we are in charge and inequality is convenient for us.
01:25:09Ready?
01:25:10Ready?
01:25:11I am the ambassador.
01:25:12Miss, I would like to speak to the new dictator, if there is one.
01:25:16How is it not there?
01:25:17And who is the government?
01:25:18Huh?
01:25:19A dictator?
01:25:21I don't want to talk to the dictator.
01:25:22Don't touch me!
01:25:24Everything burns.
01:25:25Look, I can tolerate fractures, cuts, burns.
01:25:29But not the dictator.
01:25:30I don't want to talk to each other.
01:25:31I'm doing myself a favor, doctor.
01:25:33Telephone is the White House.
01:25:34Yes, yes, yes.
01:25:35I want to be transferred.
01:25:37I want to go to East Berlin.
01:25:38Rosita, put the city in its place and stop all the foreigners.
01:25:41Dolores, Manuela, let's go.
01:25:43Leave the paratroopers alone, because after what happened I don't want any trouble with the US ambassador.
01:26:03How distrustful these Americans are.
01:26:05They send soldiers everywhere.
01:26:08So, you men, on your knees, repeat after me.
01:26:13We pledge eternal allegiance to female rule.
01:26:19We pledge eternal allegiance to female rule.
01:26:25Wait a minute!
01:26:26Stop!
01:26:27We are here too!
01:26:28We have to go to Sicily!
01:26:31Here we are!
01:26:32Salts!
01:26:32Huh?
01:26:34Sit down!
01:26:38Enough, I don't want to hear any more talk of wars, coups, or paratroopers.
01:26:59I too, from now on, want to live in peace and tranquility.
01:27:04By the way, where is this plane taking us?
01:27:06Now we ask him himself.
01:27:09Excuse me, where is this plane headed?
01:27:11In South Vietnam.
01:27:13By the way, where is this plane taking us?