00:00مرحبا
00:30فإن أتحب أن يتبه فيه بقية احضار ومعا احضارها
00:32لأنني لا تؤمن أن ما ينفع بها بشكل جيد
00:37ألاحظه لا تدفعه أحد يوم بشكل يوم بشكل جيد
00:43أهلا أنه ليس بشكل جيد
00:44لكنًا مطلع منيح تجاربك ومطلع من مجال
00:48ومطلعه بشكل جديد عاملين
00:52فإن أعطيك أن أعطيك هذا
00:56ويبدو أن أحوك سؤالكم مشكلوصين�도 تعليقكم
01:02كل مباشرة
01:04سوف أقل روز بكم
01:07سوى الأول سوى
01:09سوى الأولار
01:11سوى الأولار
01:12وكто سوى الأولار
01:14الأولار سوى الأولار
01:16سوى السوية
01:19سوى الأولار بأخذ الأولار
01:22فى الأولار منذ للمرة أولار
01:26وليس بأن أصدقر على جهد جدا، ويستغلت من جدا لديه تحول أحداً لأشعرائي
01:33ويبطت كنت أحصل في لي
01:38ورأس لديه تلك السؤال
01:42ويبدأ ، سألقلًا حدث ، سألقرأ بالنسبة لنفسي
01:45وأيضا سألقل ، سألقل مفالي
01:48ويكون جداً سألقل وكذاً
01:50وإن فلن نجل سألقل إنتهى لن نجل سألقل
01:52وإن فلن نجل سألقل إنتهى لن نجل من سألقل
01:54but it just never felt like I was getting there.
02:00And I have come to the realization that because so much of my online life
02:06is spent having everyone believe that they can truly live authentically
02:13and really be themselves,
02:16and I just no longer feel like I represented that well.
02:21and so there was like a fissure of something that i was saying but nothing that i was doing
02:28for myself and i think that anxiety really stems from that that kind of like duality of both of
02:36those things not ever kind of meeting up the way that they should so that would be the first
02:42second i want to talk a little bit about identity and i want to talk about identity because this is
02:49a choice that i made when i was 19 years old and when i chose to cover and choosing to cover at 19
02:56felt so right it felt spiritually correct it felt mentally correct it felt physically correct it
03:02felt like a little bit of armor for everything that i knew i was going through at the age of 19
03:06whatever it means to be 19 and now i'm 29 turning 30 and god i don't even want to say i'm turning 30
03:18in a bit and as i've aged i've grown so much and i've grown on here with you guys for a lot
03:26of years pretty much all of my 20s and i'm so proud of a woman that i've really become
03:34i've left so many silly ideas of other people behind silly ideas of myself behind
03:46these beliefs that kind of run into you by osmosis a little bit purely based on who you surround
03:53yourself with and i've really kind of gotten my life to a point that my identity is so ingrained in
04:05my in in the in the growth that i have had and the the people that i surround myself with and in
04:10the family that i have have been so blessed to create um with my husband and with chosen friends
04:19and it's been just so nice
04:24and so the disconnect of the anxiety sorry the disconnect of my identity how i truly feel
04:35and the identity that i continue to portray online um despite having i think outgrown it
04:41a little while back caused me so much sadness that i just wasn't being a hundred percent honest
04:53with who i was to myself and i guess now to a degree with you guys and i'd really like that to not be so
05:04anymore that's not to say that i never identified with my scarf or with being in the modest fashion
05:14community because i completely did and completely still do but that brings me to my third point which
05:22is the community after years and years i think of fighting for our right to be shown in media
05:32and the right for proper representation of muslims and especially muslim women who choose to cover
05:41i feel like we're finally starting to receive the media attention and media representation that we deserve
05:48and because i can no longer say that i most beautifully identify with my headscarf
05:57i think that it's time for me to take a step back from that
06:02and allow women my own peers that have been in this modest fashion space with me for so long
06:08who wake up every single day representing a muslim woman in a headscarf
06:13so so well i can no longer say that i feel comfortable taking a spot in campaigns or in media
06:23where they want that muslim hijabi representation i don't think because of my inability to identify
06:32with it anymore that it is fair for me to continue doing it this has not been an easy decision whatsoever
06:41because i know that
06:44it's not going to be the most well received decision
06:49but just as i have continued to fight
06:53and will continue to fight
06:54for a woman's right to choose
06:56how she's going to cover her body
06:59i really hope that i can
07:01have you guys fight for me too
07:04i know that many of you are going to leave
07:08and that this will probably be the end of our communication
07:13or a part of this kind of community that we've built together over all these years
07:19and the only thing that i can say to you going
07:22which you definitely have a right to do
07:26is that i hope you go
07:29in all health and all peace
07:32and that we have learned something together over all of these years together
07:40i hope that didn't make a little
07:43that made a little bit of sense i think
07:44i don't think it made as much sense as i wanted it to
07:47but yeah
07:48i'm really excited for this new era of myself v the internet
07:54i'm really excited for
07:57the community that i'm hoping to build off of being your authentic self
08:03despite the hardships that might come with that sometimes
08:08like this one
08:09and um
08:11yeah
08:13i'm really excited for a new beginning
08:16and a new era with you all
08:19so for those of you that do choose to stay
08:22thank you
08:25and for those of you that choose to go
08:27thank you
08:28for all the time that you've given me
08:30and
08:32yeah
08:33it's a new beginning guys
08:35challenge of compreer
08:38bye
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