- 4 months ago
Two clueless burglars break into a house, trip the alarm, and get stuck inside—only to discover someone’s home, sparking a chaotic night full of twists and tension.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00the tropical places you know that's the go-to get your white sands and your blue water and your
00:00:23guava trees and whatever and it makes a beautiful postcard but i burn and i can't you know it's
00:00:29just not it's not relaxing to me if i got my my tie and my pina umbrella whatever thing and i forget
00:00:36to put on my spf infinity sweater and a bottle and then the next day i can't wipe my ass without
00:00:42discomfort exceptional discomfort and then i gotta stay out of the sun and deal with all that
00:00:48and what's the point of being in the tropics if you gotta act like some nerd on summer break reading
00:00:53a hobbit book in his bedroom so a more temperate climate that's what i'm looking for from this
00:01:01from a getaway standpoint what about you
00:01:06it'd be nice to meet somebody what you know just somebody new get unstuck
00:01:16it's kind of a lot to pin on it i'm just saying i was talking about a more temperate climate you're
00:01:22talking about some measure of human emotion one of which by the way you can find on the map
00:01:27we're just talking here right sure well you're going off like we just pulled some master diamond
00:01:31heist i'm just saying eventually haven't even found we're looking
00:01:35right there's the jet caching place we talked about
00:01:39that's a rough crowd something goes wrong it goes all the way wrong
00:01:44the flower shop no she's nice and i met her daughter that one time so that makes it really
00:01:52you shouldn't have been shopping there i was casing the joint you could have cased the
00:01:55lube the amount of time you spent there she has nice eyes and she found her passion in flowers and
00:01:59i don't want to rob her some people have no idea what they want to do with their lives and she's
00:02:03fine i get it besides i found the place i found the flower shop no i mean the place
00:02:12yeah yeah it's perfect unexpected
00:02:17is it this place what oh man yeah this is like pulp fiction what shitty part of pulp fiction would
00:02:26this possibly be like you know the opening part with uh honey bunny and pumpkin and uh any of you
00:02:31fucking bricks move i'm gonna execute every last one of you jesus yeah yeah i'm into it let's do it
00:02:39what are we gonna rob the diner with our fucking coffee spoons we should at least order the steak
00:02:44and eggs first so we have knives you guys ready to order yeah i'll have the uh steak and eggs
00:02:50what is the finest item on your menu oh uh my favorite is the chocolate chip pancakes super tasty
00:02:59uh you don't like pancakes no it's just uh that's my ex-fiance's favorite so kind of a loaded menu
00:03:10option for me um it's a denver omelet thanks
00:03:14wow what i don't want chocolate chip pancakes so what it's breakfast not dessert perfect say that
00:03:26do you want to hear about the place or do you want to be my life coach
00:03:29it's a house i know how to get in i know there's valuable jewelry and i know that they're gone all
00:03:38week which week this week now
00:03:42holy this is real this is really real there is one part um it's in a gated community
00:03:53so there's a guard and a gate and a fence around the whole thing so i know how to get in the house
00:04:02i just don't know how to get to the house
00:04:04well i do
00:04:09you
00:05:51This is for you, my good man.
00:06:00Dude.
00:06:02You get the other half when you pick us up.
00:06:03Oh, this is a b****.
00:06:06At least pay for the pizza, man.
00:06:08This is all the way the hell out here.
00:06:10How am I going to account for this from the books?
00:06:13Fine.
00:06:13Now, remember, this address plus a sausage, mushroom, and anchovy pizza.
00:06:23That's the code to come pick us up.
00:06:25Yeah, the address is fine.
00:06:27I mean, no one's going to come...
00:06:28Let's not get our signals crossed here, okay?
00:06:32Just stick to the plan.
00:06:34Whatever.
00:06:37Well, yeah, well.
00:06:38Yeah.
00:06:39Since we paid for it...
00:06:40What if there's no hide-a-rock?
00:06:48There is.
00:06:50How do you know?
00:06:51Because I know.
00:06:52We wouldn't be here if there wasn't a hide-a-rock.
00:06:54Then why haven't you found it?
00:06:55Because it looks like a f****** rock.
00:06:57That's the beauty of its design.
00:07:03I've got no bars.
00:07:05Why would you pay all this money to live up in a place with no bars?
00:07:08I'll have to call the pizza guy from inside, I guess.
00:07:12That'll actually make it seem more legit.
00:07:14Yeah.
00:07:15The caller ID shows this address.
00:07:18The guy picks us up.
00:07:20Nothing funny about that.
00:07:22Nothing dependent to us.
00:07:24It's almost too perfect.
00:07:25I don't know.
00:07:28Leo.
00:07:29Yeah?
00:07:29I was saying we have to call the pizza guy from inside.
00:07:31I heard you.
00:07:34Hear that?
00:07:41What was that?
00:07:42Don't move.
00:07:44It's an alarm.
00:07:47I didn't know about the alarm.
00:07:49It's okay.
00:07:49Just there might be motion detectors.
00:07:52Like lasers?
00:07:54Maybe.
00:07:54Or infrared.
00:07:55Or infrared.
00:07:57You know, everything gives off infrared heat.
00:07:59Even ice.
00:07:59That's fascinating.
00:08:01Do you know what you're doing there?
00:08:02Yeah.
00:08:04I'm getting it.
00:08:05What does that mean, you're getting it?
00:08:07I've established a pattern.
00:08:09And I'm working within the confines of that pattern to decipher the...
00:08:14Incorrect.
00:08:15System armed.
00:08:17Armed?
00:08:17You just armed it?
00:08:21So now we have to break out of the house that we just broke into?
00:08:24I mean, if anything, it proves that the pattern was right.
00:08:26I just went in the wrong direction with it.
00:08:28Right?
00:08:30If I reverse it...
00:08:31Don't touch it!
00:08:32It's fucking armed.
00:08:33I know.
00:08:34I'm going to unarm it.
00:08:35No, you're not.
00:08:36You're going to set it off.
00:08:37And then the guard's going to be here in six seconds.
00:08:39Cops are going to be right behind him.
00:08:41And then we're going to be stuck here with nowhere to go because we're in the middle of
00:08:44a giant gated, fenced-in cage.
00:08:46Okay, yeah, it's not ideal.
00:08:51But it's not a problem.
00:08:53There's a code, and it's written down somewhere in this house.
00:08:57Maybe on their computer in an email from the security company or something like that.
00:09:02We just take our time, find the code while we rob the place, and then skedaddle.
00:09:09Clean and easy.
00:09:11What about the motion detectors?
00:09:16No motion detectors.
00:09:34Good find.
00:09:37Huh?
00:09:37This place is swanky.
00:09:40It's okay.
00:09:42Okay?
00:09:44Look at this!
00:09:46What is it?
00:09:49This is art!
00:09:50They have art hanging on the walls.
00:09:52That's some ritzy people.
00:09:54We're going to scar you to this job.
00:10:06What are you doing?
00:10:07Stealing this.
00:10:08It looks expensive.
00:10:09We're not going to steal a bowl.
00:10:11We need small things that can fit in our bags.
00:10:13Or in a pizza box, right?
00:10:16We can put a painting in here.
00:10:18Let's eat this fast so the box doesn't get all sweaty.
00:10:21Here.
00:10:25What the f***?
00:10:26What?
00:10:27You just ruined that rug.
00:10:28Look at that.
00:10:29Show some respect.
00:10:30We are robbing this place.
00:10:33We don't have to rub their faces in it.
00:10:35I mean...
00:10:37It's a nice rug.
00:10:41Okay.
00:10:41I don't know.
00:10:42I'm sorry.
00:10:43I don't know what's going on right now.
00:10:51Yeah, it's ruined.
00:10:52Bingo.
00:11:05What?
00:11:06Office.
00:11:07Where would you keep a code?
00:11:09I don't know.
00:11:09I don't have an office.
00:11:11A computer.
00:11:14Maybe it's in a drawer or something.
00:11:16Hey, why don't we just go out the window?
00:11:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:11:19Censor.
00:11:21My sister has one of these get-ups at her house.
00:11:24Trying to smoke a little weed at the end of a stressful day with the family.
00:11:28Suddenly the little damned neighborhood's awake and they have questions about your life's decisions.
00:11:35Oh.
00:11:36Where are you going?
00:11:3711-11.
00:11:38No, come on.
00:11:39We have to find the...
00:11:40Hand me that phone.
00:11:45You can't just skip this one?
00:11:47It takes a minute.
00:11:49It's 11-11.
00:11:51Time for the impossible question.
00:11:53You guys know the deal, but it's fun to say it.
00:11:55$104,800.
00:11:57That's what we're up to.
00:11:58It's been 524 days since a good soul has won.
00:12:02Twice a day, every day at 11-11.
00:12:04We pose the impossible question.
00:12:06And the generous folks at Black Bear Markets add another $100 to the kitty.
00:12:10You call with a correct answer within 22 seconds.
00:12:13And you win it all.
00:12:14It would be so simple if it weren't impossible.
00:12:18So phone's ready.
00:12:24Here it comes.
00:12:26What the f***?
00:12:26Shh!
00:12:27What were the last words of the first man to commit by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge?
00:12:36Oh, come on.
00:12:38That's just...
00:12:38Oh, wait.
00:12:39You don't want to hear the answer?
00:12:40Some f*** is going to win, and then the next day I'm going to know the answer, and then
00:12:44only won $100 damn dollars.
00:12:46I believe I'd take to a clock tower.
00:12:50Wonder how cold that water is.
00:12:52Huh?
00:12:53Those would be cool last words.
00:12:55You say, I wonder how cold that water is, and then...
00:13:00Come on.
00:13:03Let's rob this place.
00:13:04Let's rob this place.
00:13:34Who the f*** is that?
00:13:49I don't know.
00:13:49You said no one was here.
00:13:50She's not the person who lives here.
00:13:52How do you know?
00:13:52Because I did my research.
00:13:54Then why wasn't she in your research?
00:13:55She doesn't leave here.
00:13:56Who the f*** is that?
00:13:58I don't know.
00:13:59F***.
00:13:59We've got to cut bait.
00:14:03Just get out of here.
00:14:04Out of where?
00:14:05Out of the house.
00:14:05Just go.
00:14:06Problem solved.
00:14:07We can't.
00:14:07The alarm.
00:14:10Ah.
00:14:11We take a chair, and we shove it under the doorknob.
00:14:15And then what?
00:14:16She's stuck.
00:14:17So she'll call for help.
00:14:19Like on the phone, or out the window?
00:14:21What does that matter?
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:25Ah.
00:14:27Hmm.
00:14:28We have to tie her up.
00:14:30What?
00:14:32Look, we need time.
00:14:34We don't have time if she finds us.
00:14:37If she wakes up, she's going to find us.
00:14:40So, we have to tie her up.
00:14:43Here we go.
00:15:08Yeah, okay.
00:15:09We'll use that.
00:15:10What about our faces?
00:15:11She can't see our faces.
00:15:12Okay.
00:15:17We wrap her in the sheet, and just take the s*** out of her.
00:15:20Why are we wrapping her in the sheet?
00:15:21This is duct tape, man.
00:15:22So?
00:15:23So it's going to rip her f***ing skin off.
00:15:25We're burglars, not assholes.
00:15:26Fine.
00:15:27You go high, and I go low.
00:15:32Sorry.
00:15:33Whoa!
00:15:33Whoa!
00:15:34Whoa!
00:15:34Whoa!
00:15:35Sorry, sorry.
00:15:36Shut up!
00:15:37Help!
00:15:38It's okay.
00:15:39We're just taping you.
00:15:40Help!
00:15:41Shut up!
00:15:42No one can hear you!
00:15:43Don't be a f*** about it.
00:15:44But he's right.
00:15:45No one can hear you.
00:15:48You good?
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:54What the hell?
00:15:55Ah, my leg.
00:15:56What?
00:15:56You take my leg.
00:15:57Cut me loose.
00:15:58Okay.
00:15:59Would you hold still?
00:16:00I'm not doing anything.
00:16:01He's...
00:16:02I'm trying to kick free.
00:16:03You can't kick free.
00:16:04I have to cut.
00:16:06Ah!
00:16:06Ah!
00:16:07Don't hurt me.
00:16:08Don't hurt me.
00:16:08What?
00:16:09Oh, we're not going to hurt you.
00:16:11We're just going to steal some stuff, and then we're going to...
00:16:13Oh, s***!
00:16:15What?
00:16:15My mask.
00:16:16I told you not to hog the saran wrap.
00:16:18I didn't see anything.
00:16:19Look at yours.
00:16:20Still on.
00:16:20I didn't hog it.
00:16:21It just wasn't enough to go around.
00:16:23You're wrapping your head like you're shipping it overseas.
00:16:26I didn't see your face.
00:16:27Just take whatever you want.
00:16:28I don't care.
00:16:29I'm just a house sitter.
00:16:30Yes, you did see my face.
00:16:31You were looking right at me.
00:16:32I don't remember.
00:16:32Just vaguely Chinese.
00:16:33That's all.
00:16:34Chinese?
00:16:35Dude!
00:16:36Turn around, Doug!
00:16:38Whatever you're looking for, it's all in a secret hiding spot.
00:16:41I know that.
00:16:43All the valuables.
00:16:44A computer.
00:16:45I don't...
00:16:46Just everything.
00:16:49Where?
00:16:50I don't know.
00:16:50I just heard them talking.
00:16:53Okay.
00:16:54You stay here.
00:16:56Let's go.
00:16:56We should put her back on the bed.
00:16:58I'm fine.
00:16:58She's fine!
00:16:59No, come on.
00:17:00It's...
00:17:01We might be a while.
00:17:02Really, I'm fine.
00:17:04What's your name?
00:17:06Darcy.
00:17:07Darcy?
00:17:07Darcy, there's really no reason for you to be uncomfortable.
00:17:11Come on.
00:17:13Jesus Christ.
00:17:19Good?
00:17:20Yeah.
00:17:21Shot if you need anything.
00:17:23But be f***ing quiet about it.
00:17:31What are you, the concierge?
00:17:33She saw my face.
00:17:34She can identify me, so I want her to feel as good as she possibly can.
00:17:36About this whole experience.
00:17:38Why are you calling me by my middle name in there?
00:17:40You know how much I hate that.
00:17:41What are you talking about?
00:17:43You called me Doug.
00:17:44I didn't know that was your middle name.
00:17:46I didn't know that was your middle name.
00:17:48Yes, you did.
00:17:49I told you that...
00:17:50Wait.
00:17:52Okay, now that I look at it, I may have over-applied.
00:17:53Okay, now that I look at it, I may have over-applied.
00:18:18I'll be right back.
00:18:19I think so.
00:18:20I'll be right back.
00:18:21I'll be right back.
00:18:22So, we have a hostage now.
00:18:28Yeah, I know. It is not ideal, her being here.
00:18:33No, it's not ideal.
00:18:35No. It is a problem.
00:18:37But she solves our two other problems.
00:18:40How?
00:18:41She knows the code.
00:18:43That's true.
00:18:44And we know all the great stuff is at a secret hiding spot we wouldn't be looking for otherwise.
00:18:49So, all we have to do is find the spot, steal the stuff, get the code, and order our pizza.
00:18:59We can do that.
00:19:01Hell yes, we can do that.
00:19:19What are you doing?
00:19:24I could be one of those Scooby-Doo deals for the whole thing.
00:19:27Yeah.
00:19:28Oh, this is too much stuff.
00:19:51I'll start over here.
00:19:52Why in the hell would someone keep a box of blankets in the garage?
00:20:21What's the practical use in that?
00:20:25You're in bed, you're cold, you come out to the even colder garage to get a blanket?
00:20:30I don't know.
00:20:31I know you don't know.
00:20:32Because you wouldn't do that.
00:20:34Because it's a stupid thing to do.
00:20:36That's the 1% in action right there.
00:20:39This is why our country's in the...
00:20:41Hey, now.
00:20:48Well, that's not a secret hiding spot.
00:20:55Well, it's locked.
00:20:57Exactly.
00:20:58Because there's valuable stuff in here.
00:21:01Oh, no.
00:21:03What?
00:21:04You're going to break everything inside.
00:21:05But it's locked.
00:21:07So we'll find the key.
00:21:08We just found this.
00:21:13Perfect.
00:21:14So we're on a roll.
00:21:23This house is just too damn big.
00:21:25That's the real problem.
00:21:26Yeah, if you're robbing it.
00:21:27But if you're living here, it's probably pretty nice.
00:21:30It's ostentatious.
00:21:32I mean, if they were just a little more humble, we wouldn't have so many rooms to look through.
00:21:36I mean, what is this?
00:21:38A parlor room or a conservatory?
00:21:41It's like Clue.
00:21:42Niagara Falls.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:01Did you know Niagara Falls is actually three different falls?
00:22:04Horseshoe Falls, Bridal Veil.
00:22:06Did you move anything here?
00:22:08What?
00:22:08Uh, was there any other stuff?
00:22:11No, I just turned it on.
00:22:15What, did you put it there, though?
00:22:17In the center, like that?
00:22:20No, it was just there.
00:22:22By itself?
00:22:23Yeah.
00:22:25And then I turned it on.
00:22:26What's your deal?
00:22:27What are you doing?
00:22:43I'm taking this.
00:22:43We haven't found shit.
00:22:44This fits in my bag.
00:22:45It's got to be worth something.
00:22:46It's just a lamp.
00:22:48Yeah, but it's old and cool.
00:22:50You've seen those shows where people find weird stuff and it turns out to be worth a bundle?
00:22:53I saw this one where this guy had an old spittoon.
00:22:58Turned out to belong to some famous cowboy or something.
00:23:03$100,000.
00:23:05Cowboys didn't have lamps.
00:23:06It doesn't have to be a cowboy.
00:23:07That's not the important part.
00:23:09It's just that generally old things are, you know, can be, uh, um...
00:23:14I don't know all the specific rules, but this is old and funky and you never know.
00:23:20Oh, I do.
00:23:21I'm telling you, it's worth a couple hundred bucks.
00:23:25Maybe three by now.
00:23:27Maybe.
00:23:28Well, we'll see.
00:23:29It is.
00:23:31You say.
00:23:32I don't say.
00:23:33I know.
00:23:34How?
00:23:34Because I bought it.
00:23:47Do you have one of these?
00:23:48I haven't seen it.
00:23:50No, this one.
00:23:51I bought it.
00:23:53And we can't take it.
00:23:54Why would a lamp that you bought be in a house that we're robbing?
00:24:11Whose house is this?
00:24:16Jessica's.
00:24:17Oh, you have got to let it go!
00:24:24So, what, you've been stalking her?
00:24:32No.
00:24:33But you know where she lives.
00:24:34Well, that's just Facebook.
00:24:36You're still Facebook friends with her?
00:24:38So you've just been stalking her online.
00:24:40That's not stalking.
00:24:41That's what Facebook is for.
00:24:44How did you know where the key was?
00:24:46We used to live together.
00:24:48She loves to hide a rock.
00:24:49She used to give it to everyone.
00:24:51Every housewarming gift ever.
00:24:53Hide a rock.
00:24:54She thinks it's the height of human innovation.
00:24:59So what exactly was your plan here?
00:25:02To rob the place.
00:25:04Why?
00:25:05Why?
00:25:07We've been talking about it forever.
00:25:10So I found a good place.
00:25:11No, you found a terrible place.
00:25:13I wanted to rob someplace cool,
00:25:15not your ex-fiancé's new fiancé's house.
00:25:17It's a good place.
00:25:21There's jewelry.
00:25:25Diamonds.
00:25:27Diamonds.
00:25:28She has diamonds.
00:25:30A diamond, for sure.
00:25:31Wait, are we just here to steal back your engagement ring?
00:25:34She shouldn't have kept it.
00:25:35Holy...
00:25:36She shouldn't have, and she knows it.
00:25:38Why didn't you just ask for it back?
00:25:40There was a lot going on.
00:25:42We both wanted the Cuisinart
00:25:43to get a big argument about
00:25:45who put down the security deposit.
00:25:47You've got to be kidding me.
00:25:49Neither of us even thought about the ring.
00:25:51And then I did.
00:25:52And then I thought,
00:25:54well, if I realize it,
00:25:56then she realizes it,
00:25:57and she'll bring it back soon.
00:26:00And then she didn't.
00:26:02And then I thought,
00:26:03well, maybe that means something.
00:26:06Maybe she's not ready to let go.
00:26:11And then she got engaged.
00:26:16And then...
00:26:17that was the last straw.
00:26:22This is the saddest heist
00:26:25in the long-storied history of crime.
00:26:26No, it's not.
00:26:27It's the perfect crime.
00:26:28I get my ring back.
00:26:30You get to steal his stupid rich guy stuff.
00:26:32Except that.
00:26:33That's not his.
00:26:34That's hers.
00:26:35I gave that to her.
00:26:36Even better.
00:26:36You get it back, too.
00:26:37No, look.
00:26:39She kept it.
00:26:40Here.
00:26:41In her house.
00:26:42With her fiancé.
00:26:44On a table.
00:26:45All by itself.
00:26:47Don't you see?
00:26:49I'm still here.
00:26:50She still has a thing for me.
00:26:54She doesn't have a thing for you.
00:26:56She has a thing for this thing.
00:26:58This thing is nice.
00:26:59I'm nice.
00:27:01She's engaged to another guy.
00:27:03She can still change her mind.
00:27:05I know this.
00:27:08So she kept your ring.
00:27:11And she kept your lamp.
00:27:13So she's going to get back together with you?
00:27:15Maybe.
00:27:17Maybe.
00:27:20What about the girl up there?
00:27:22Who?
00:27:23The girl we just taped up.
00:27:25The house sitter.
00:27:27I don't know.
00:27:27What about her?
00:27:28She's a friend.
00:27:30And she's seen your face.
00:27:32So you and Jessica are going to get back together.
00:27:35And you're going to run into her.
00:27:36And she's going to be like,
00:27:37Oh, do you know Leo?
00:27:39Oh, yeah.
00:27:40He tied me up in your bedroom that one time.
00:27:42Guys?
00:27:46She's not the quiet type.
00:27:50Hey, guys?
00:27:51Oh, yeah.
00:27:52Come on.
00:27:56Guys!
00:27:57That's not quiet shouting.
00:27:59That's regular, loud shouting.
00:28:01Sorry, I really have to go to the bathroom.
00:28:06Could you stop it?
00:28:07Does it look okay?
00:28:08It's fine.
00:28:11Okay.
00:28:13She has to go to the bathroom.
00:28:15How bad?
00:28:15Pretty bad.
00:28:17Okay, let's tear a little hole in the sheet around her.
00:28:22I'm not doing that.
00:28:23That's super rapey.
00:28:24It's not rapey.
00:28:25It's we're being courteous.
00:28:28Okay, you have to go to the bathroom.
00:28:31That's no one's fault.
00:28:32But we appreciate that you didn't soil the bed.
00:28:36That shows a lot of respect.
00:28:38Not towards us specifically, but just, you know, general respect towards humankind and
00:28:44societal norms.
00:28:46So that's a good trust-building move.
00:28:49Am I right?
00:28:50Sure.
00:28:50Okay.
00:28:51So, you showed some respect.
00:28:55We will do likewise and untape you, okay?
00:28:59Yes, please.
00:28:59But just to go to the bathroom.
00:29:02That's it.
00:29:03So you can tend to your needs.
00:29:05Then, we'll tape you back up.
00:29:08I understand.
00:29:11Okay.
00:29:13Doug, let's...
00:29:18Oh!
00:29:21It's tearing the sheet a little here.
00:29:23See?
00:29:24Sheets were my idea.
00:29:26Didn't want to tear up your skin.
00:29:30It was nothing.
00:29:31Anyone would have.
00:29:33I mean, he didn't.
00:29:34Hey!
00:29:34But really, anyone.
00:29:36Whoa!
00:29:37What?
00:29:38I'm not dressed.
00:29:39You're not undressed.
00:29:40You're wearing underwear.
00:29:41Well, still, it's not the...
00:29:43We've already seen you.
00:29:45Well, I'd prefer that you did not see me again.
00:29:47I don't know if this helps, but you really shouldn't have any body shame.
00:29:52What?
00:29:53I'm just saying your overall fitness seems high.
00:29:56Whatever work you're doing is really paying off.
00:29:59You should be super proud of the, um...
00:30:01Okay!
00:30:02...results.
00:30:02That's enough.
00:30:05You're in your underwear.
00:30:06You have to go to the bathroom.
00:30:07Those are just two facts.
00:30:09Deal with them.
00:30:10We don't care.
00:30:12We're not perverts.
00:30:13We're thieves.
00:30:14Okay?
00:30:15Now, let's go.
00:30:16There's a window, so, uh, we're going in with you.
00:30:29Why?
00:30:30So you don't run away.
00:30:31I'm not gonna run away.
00:30:32I'm in my underwear.
00:30:33Who cares?
00:30:34Cindy Birdsong jumped out of a moving vehicle on the Long Beach Freeway to avoid capture.
00:30:39A little panty dash is nothing.
00:30:40Who's Cindy Birdsong?
00:30:41One of the Supremes.
00:30:42Why do you know that?
00:30:43Because I'm an educated person.
00:30:45Come on.
00:30:47What, both of you?
00:30:49Fine.
00:30:50I'll go.
00:30:51Okay, because I have to go number two.
00:30:53Fine.
00:30:54We'll flip for it.
00:30:56Heads.
00:31:07Hey.
00:31:10Um...
00:31:10You can have a little bit of dignity, anyhow.
00:31:15Let's see what else.
00:31:23That'll help a little, but you've got to give me the mercy flush.
00:31:27What?
00:31:28Just as soon as it, you know, hits the water, just get rid of it.
00:31:33Flush it.
00:31:34Now is not the time for water conservation.
00:31:38Okay.
00:31:39Let's see.
00:31:40She normally has a lavender...
00:31:43People have lavender spray.
00:31:49You do that, and I'll use these.
00:31:55That'll mask any of...
00:31:59Maybe turn on the shower.
00:32:03Why?
00:32:04Just to cover up any...
00:32:05Noises.
00:32:11Okay.
00:32:13Good.
00:32:15Do you feel good?
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:17Good.
00:32:18Um...
00:32:18And...
00:32:20Get to it, I guess.
00:32:23My name's not Doug, just so you know.
00:32:35Doesn't matter what my real name is, I just don't like Doug.
00:32:40Don't want you thinking of me as a Doug.
00:32:42We actually probably have stuff in common.
00:32:53Friends, maybe, even, like...
00:32:57The point is, it's a small world.
00:32:59That's all I'm saying.
00:33:05Hey, the system's working well, though, isn't it?
00:33:08I haven't...
00:33:09I wouldn't even know...
00:33:10Are you guys okay in there?
00:33:16Horvath!
00:33:18Horvath!
00:33:20Stay there!
00:33:21Don't hurt him!
00:33:22You f***ing are letting me go!
00:33:23Okay, yes, just stay calm!
00:33:25I am calm!
00:33:26I will calmly choke your friend to death!
00:33:28No, no, no!
00:33:29Don't, don't, don't!
00:33:29Look, look, he's fading!
00:33:31He's just...
00:33:31Just let us out, and we'll go away, and it'll be like this never happened!
00:33:35Okay, all right, just let me go!
00:33:36Okay, yes!
00:33:37Just let us out!
00:33:38Okay!
00:33:39Wait, what?
00:33:40Let you out?
00:33:41What are you talking about?
00:33:42The alarm!
00:33:42Just let us out, and we'll be f***ing gone!
00:33:44The alarm's off!
00:33:45No, we armed it!
00:33:47It was an accident, so just type in the code, and we'll be gone, and that's that, I swear!
00:33:53Come on, come on, come on!
00:33:56I saw...
00:33:56I saw clouds.
00:33:58People made of clouds.
00:33:59And they were going...
00:34:00It's okay, it's okay.
00:34:01You're all right.
00:34:02You're all right.
00:34:03We're getting out of here.
00:34:05You armed it?
00:34:06I was establishing a pattern.
00:34:08What's wrong?
00:34:13I don't know the code.
00:34:16Why not?
00:34:19I'm not the house sitter.
00:34:20Why would a pet need a taxi?
00:34:28It's a thing, okay?
00:34:30People want to get their dogs to the groomers or off to the kennel before they go away.
00:34:34One percenters, man.
00:34:36Yeah.
00:34:36They will throw down for their pets.
00:34:38It's crazy.
00:34:39I don't mean that like a figure of speech.
00:34:41I mean like...
00:34:41I've seen a dog with a collar that cost 500 bucks.
00:34:46Can you believe that shit?
00:34:47500 American for a dog collar.
00:34:51So you pick up the dog and take it to the kennel.
00:34:53Why would they give you a key?
00:34:55They didn't.
00:34:57Hide a rock?
00:34:58What?
00:34:59How did you get in?
00:35:01I picked the lock.
00:35:04You okay?
00:35:07Sorry.
00:35:07It's just...
00:35:09It's really cool.
00:35:13What's your deal?
00:35:17She has a dog.
00:35:18I've always wanted a dog, but she wouldn't let us.
00:35:23Now, a f***ing dog?
00:35:26Wait.
00:35:27Do you guys know these people?
00:35:29His ex-fiance.
00:35:30Shut up.
00:35:32That is crazier than a $500 dog collar.
00:35:36No, it's not.
00:35:38I'm just here to get back my engagement ring.
00:35:41Wait, she kept the ring?
00:35:43What the f*** is?
00:35:44Hey, whoa, no.
00:35:46She is not a c***.
00:35:47Are you sure about that?
00:35:49Because that's a straight-up c*** move.
00:35:50Yes, I'm sure.
00:35:53Pretty sure.
00:35:55Okay, so don't take this the wrong way,
00:35:56but I'm not really getting a master cat burglar vibe from you guys.
00:36:00You don't know us.
00:36:02I know that you turned on the security system somehow.
00:36:06I was establishing a pattern.
00:36:08How did you know it wasn't armed in the first place, huh?
00:36:11You just waltz in, pick the lock.
00:36:13That's reckless.
00:36:14Because I saw them not arm it.
00:36:16I came to pick up the dog.
00:36:18They were hustling about.
00:36:19He was like, uh, do you need to put anything in the spot?
00:36:22And she's like, um, my laptop.
00:36:23And then he was like, uh, it's already in there.
00:36:25And then they left, locked the door, no alarm.
00:36:28Something I look for.
00:36:31Something you look for?
00:36:33Yeah.
00:36:34Why?
00:36:35So I don't get arrested.
00:36:37Wait, this is like a thing you do?
00:36:39Yeah.
00:36:40I mean, they're gone.
00:36:42My apartment's a dump.
00:36:43And they've got laundry and HBO.
00:36:46It's like a resort in these places.
00:36:50Relaxing.
00:36:56Until now.
00:36:58Now it's all stressful.
00:37:00Now I need a drink.
00:37:01Where are you going?
00:37:03Wine.
00:37:04Wait, uh, we need to figure out how we're going to get out.
00:37:06Okay, they're not going to be home for a couple of days.
00:37:09I believe I have time for a glass of wine.
00:37:16In the old days, that alarm code would have been our anniversary.
00:37:21Did you guys have an alarm in that shitty apartment?
00:37:23God, no.
00:37:24But she used our anniversary for everything.
00:37:27It was her PIN number, her bank password.
00:37:31If we hadn't broken up, I could have gotten us out of here.
00:37:34If you hadn't broken up, we wouldn't be here.
00:37:36Even better.
00:37:38It's like she's still finding new ways to hurt me.
00:37:43What are you looking for?
00:37:44The dusty ones.
00:37:46They've been keeping those the longest, so that means they're good.
00:37:49Then you just pack out the bottle.
00:37:51They assume that they drank it and forgot.
00:37:53I mean, that's the beauty of booze.
00:37:55Makes things fuzzy.
00:37:59What'd you get?
00:38:00Zinfando.
00:38:00Ah, Primitivo.
00:38:03That's its other name.
00:38:06You learn.
00:38:08Sangiovese.
00:38:10Sangiovese.
00:38:11Blood of Jove.
00:38:13It's the only grape named after a god.
00:38:14It's good.
00:38:18Come on.
00:38:19Let us go be golds.
00:38:29I stole money from the collection plate at church.
00:38:31I told a guy that I was pregnant and let him believe it for three days.
00:38:37I kissed my stepmom.
00:38:40She was asleep.
00:38:42Did she wake up?
00:38:44Yeah.
00:38:46Okay, you win.
00:38:47Do I, though?
00:38:48No.
00:38:48I don't know.
00:38:50Oh!
00:38:52Hey!
00:38:54Mmm.
00:38:56Mmm.
00:38:57This is tasty.
00:38:58Which?
00:38:59Ah, le bouffe la pape.
00:39:00The, uh, French.
00:39:06Oh, uh, sorry.
00:39:07What's your name?
00:39:08Marlon.
00:39:08Marlon.
00:39:09It's the other one.
00:39:11Wait, Marlon?
00:39:13Yeah.
00:39:13Like the fish?
00:39:14No, like Marlon Brando.
00:39:16Oh.
00:39:17That's funny.
00:39:18I never think of the fish with him.
00:39:20I guess because it's never just Marlon.
00:39:22It's Marlon Brando.
00:39:25What's your last name?
00:39:26It's, uh...
00:39:27Don't tell her your last name.
00:39:29You shouldn't have told her your first name.
00:39:31I told you mine.
00:39:32Did you?
00:39:33Yes, it's Darcy.
00:39:34Is it?
00:39:35The fuck, dude, yes.
00:39:36Why would I lie about that?
00:39:38Because you're a liar.
00:39:39Because you break into people's houses.
00:39:40That's not trustworthy behavior.
00:39:42You guys broke in.
00:39:44No, we used the key.
00:39:46You're robbing the place.
00:39:48Not yet.
00:39:48We haven't taken anything yet.
00:39:50Clearly you intend to.
00:39:52You're going to take that lamp.
00:39:53You've been carrying it around with you from room to room.
00:39:56It's as good as gone.
00:39:57No, we're not taking it.
00:39:58I'm carrying it around to keep him from taking it.
00:40:00So that just goes to show what you know.
00:40:03Did you know Niagara Falls is actually three separate falls?
00:40:09Bridal veil.
00:40:10Stop it.
00:40:11Jesus.
00:40:12You look around for all this useless trivia.
00:40:15And for what?
00:40:16Hold on.
00:40:17At least I know real stuff.
00:40:20You're the world's leading expert and a woman that doesn't even love you anymore.
00:40:23So when are you going to put that to good use?
00:40:25It's when we're back together.
00:40:30It's a cool lamp though.
00:40:36Yeah.
00:40:38Have you ever been?
00:40:40Niagara Falls.
00:40:41It's a lot of water.
00:40:46An impossible amount of water.
00:40:48It's inevitable.
00:40:51It just keeps coming.
00:40:52And the noise.
00:40:57You don't even hear it.
00:41:04It's not like something else anymore.
00:41:08It's just...
00:41:11It's the only thing there is.
00:41:20It's terrifying.
00:41:27You've got it all in your hand.
00:41:54It's the happiest we ever were.
00:42:06And she's kept me here.
00:42:09With her.
00:42:11You see?
00:42:13So I'm staying.
00:42:17The lamp stays.
00:42:24I'm going to look for that key.
00:42:41So your folks?
00:42:44Marlon Brando fans?
00:42:45Marlon Jackson.
00:42:48The Jackson Five.
00:42:49It's, uh, not Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie.
00:42:59Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie.
00:43:03Marlon.
00:43:08You should never tell anybody that ever again.
00:43:11We all know.
00:43:20We already know.
00:43:30We all know.
00:43:34We already know.
00:43:37And we all know.
00:44:07We already know.
00:44:15Hey.
00:44:18We all know.
00:44:24We already know.
00:44:27We already know.
00:44:28Hey.
00:44:30We all know.
00:44:34oh I was just trying it on what it's nice I just see Jessica's I don't care you
00:45:00should take it looks nice on you did you find anything no I just thought five years we were together maybe
00:45:17there'd be one picture of me well maybe he's the jealous type I mean dudes don't really want to
00:45:24see photos of ex-boyfriends lying around next fiance even worse look at this guy his face is too big for
00:45:39his head so yeah he definitely doesn't want to see photos of you that's the kind of guy who names
00:45:48his dog Fido what yeah they named their dog Fido no shit like straight out of a comic book or
00:45:56something that was my name wait so it's not Doug it's that's what I was gonna name our dog she
00:46:04wouldn't let us get I always told her wouldn't that be funny it's like everyone thinks of that
00:46:09as a dog's name but no one actually names their dog that you're Fido be hilarious it'd be a unique
00:46:20cliche in canine form see you get it
00:46:39hello beautiful that's got a dog named Fido and he doesn't even know why dumb shit yeah oh maybe
00:46:59you don't have any pictures of me in your house but you're running around saying here Fido come Fido
00:47:05might as well be balls deep in your old lady man he's your cuckold what's that it's where one guy
00:47:13watches the other guy have with his girl and likes it that's a thing yeah don't judge it's too easy
00:47:22you know you find something that makes you feel good that's hard to come by when you choked me yeah I'm
00:47:34sorry about that it's okay I just um right at the end there just as I was starting to black out
00:47:48it was the most euphoric thing I've ever felt in my life
00:48:04was it okay
00:48:28it was amazing I want to try you sure yeah definitely uh well maybe we should have a safe word
00:48:42you know like when you want me to stop you say rutabaga or whatever how am I going to say rutabaga
00:48:49rutabaga if you're choking me
00:48:51rutabaga
00:48:52rutabaga
00:48:53how about I just squeeze your wrist really quick like this
00:48:56okay you ready
00:49:02I have HBO
00:49:05what?
00:49:06at my apartment
00:49:10at my apartment
00:49:11I have HBO
00:49:12and laundry
00:49:14okay
00:49:17okay
00:49:18okay
00:49:19okay
00:49:20okay
00:49:21okay
00:49:22okay
00:49:23okay
00:49:24okay
00:49:25okay
00:49:26okay
00:49:27okay
00:49:29okay
00:49:30all right
00:49:42okay
00:49:43okay
00:49:44okay
00:50:18Good morning.
00:50:35Hey.
00:50:37That was quite a thing, huh?
00:50:39A thing?
00:50:41I just mean, you know.
00:50:44Well, I don't know. What's a thing?
00:50:45A night, I guess.
00:50:49Oh, yeah. Definitely was a night. Okay. Yep.
00:50:54What are you doing?
00:50:56I'm just trying...
00:50:57There we go.
00:51:00Get my underwear.
00:51:04Did I...
00:51:05Is something wrong?
00:51:08Um, I just...
00:51:11I shouldn't have done that.
00:51:18It's okay. It's okay. I mean, things got kind of wild, but...
00:51:22No, it's not okay.
00:51:23Okay. Um, this is Jessica's bed, and I shouldn't be having sex with someone else in Jessica's bed.
00:51:35Well, I mean, she has sex with someone else in this bed.
00:51:40Don't make it gross.
00:51:42This...
00:51:43It was disrespectful.
00:51:47I shouldn't have done that to her.
00:51:50I don't mean to nitpick here, but you didn't do anything to her.
00:51:54You did a lot of things to me.
00:51:55What are you doing?
00:52:02Uh, we need to wash these sheets.
00:52:04Oh, Jesus.
00:52:05What? That's just common courtesy.
00:52:07No, you just f*** me six ways to Sunday. Common courtesy is to buy me breakfast.
00:52:13I'm sorry.
00:52:15I didn't mean to f*** you.
00:52:17It was an accident.
00:52:19Well, that was a long, drawn-out accident.
00:52:22Yeah.
00:52:24Sorry.
00:52:25You found the computer.
00:52:39I did.
00:52:41Why are you wearing a robe?
00:52:43Because Jessica's fiancée has terrible toilet aim.
00:52:46I can't find the code, by the way.
00:52:49I've been looking for hours.
00:52:51Found a lot of other stuff, but...
00:52:54No alarm code.
00:52:56What have you been up to?
00:52:59Fell asleep.
00:53:00The wine.
00:53:01You know, is this all the jewelry you found?
00:53:04Why?
00:53:05Do you want to add it to the jewelry you found?
00:53:07No, it's just...
00:53:08My ring's not here.
00:53:12Maybe she got rid of it.
00:53:14What's that mean?
00:53:16You know, sold it.
00:53:17Gave it away.
00:53:18Threw it in the ocean.
00:53:20Why...
00:53:20Why...
00:53:21What's this?
00:53:27Diary.
00:53:28Jessica's?
00:53:30Yeah.
00:53:30How do you know?
00:53:32Did you read it?
00:53:34I'm looking for the code.
00:53:38Morning.
00:53:39Morning.
00:53:39Anyone want breakfast?
00:53:41I'm buying.
00:53:45I'm not in here at all.
00:53:48I noticed that.
00:53:49I mean, I didn't expect to be on every page, but maybe one mention would be nice.
00:53:55Oh, I thought of Leo today.
00:53:57In passing.
00:53:58He's a person that I remember.
00:54:01Yep.
00:54:02Some people just aren't much for history.
00:54:06Hold on.
00:54:07There's got to be at least one.
00:54:08You look stressed.
00:54:14You want some tomato juice?
00:54:15Yeah.
00:54:17Did I tell you that?
00:54:18Tell me what?
00:54:20That tomato juice calms me down.
00:54:22Come on, man.
00:54:26Oh.
00:54:2711-11.
00:54:35$104,900.
00:54:37That's what we're up to.
00:54:37It's been 525 days since our last winner.
00:54:41Twice a day, every day at 11-11.
00:54:43We pose the impossible question.
00:54:46And the good, kind folks at Black Bear Market add another $100 to the kitty.
00:54:50Call with the answer within 22 seconds, and that kitty's all yours.
00:54:55It would be so simple.
00:54:56If it weren't impossible.
00:54:58So, phones at the ready.
00:55:00Here it comes.
00:55:02Other than Elvis Presley, who outwitted him?
00:55:05Turn it off!
00:55:07Turn it off!
00:55:08Turn it off!
00:55:09What the fuck?
00:55:10What the fuck is wrong with you people?
00:55:13Other than Elvis Presley, who outlived his twin brother at childbirth, and went on to have four number one singles in one calendar year.
00:55:22Marlon Jackson.
00:55:23It's Marlon Jackson!
00:55:27It's ringing.
00:55:27They're coming home.
00:55:54Where are they now?
00:56:01I don't know.
00:56:02She posted this an hour ago.
00:56:04Headed home early.
00:56:05I wonder what happened.
00:56:07Who cares?
00:56:08Why are you creeping on her Facebook like that?
00:56:10I'm not cre...
00:56:11That's irrelevant to the situation, okay?
00:56:14They're coming home.
00:56:15Here.
00:56:15Now.
00:56:17Where were they?
00:56:18I don't know.
00:56:19Hawaii.
00:56:20Creeper.
00:56:21Don't!
00:56:21All right.
00:56:23You're the creeper.
00:56:25Always breaking into houses, trying on people's lives because you don't like your own.
00:56:30My life is fine.
00:56:32I just do it for the thrill.
00:56:34Well, I had a real life once, and it was pretty f***ing thrilling.
00:56:44Okay.
00:56:45Look.
00:56:46Hawaii is a long flight.
00:56:48They have to get their baggage.
00:56:50There's the cab ride.
00:56:51We've got some time.
00:56:53To do what?
00:56:54We either get caught by her, or we trip the alarm and get caught by the cops.
00:56:58I choose the cops.
00:56:59Are you serious?
00:57:01If we get caught by her, she's going to call the cops.
00:57:03It all ends in cops.
00:57:05Not if we talk our way out of it.
00:57:06How am I going to talk my way out of it?
00:57:08She knows me.
00:57:09Intimately.
00:57:10Oh, so am I like, hey, Jessica, what are you doing here?
00:57:14We're just trying to rob this place.
00:57:15Small world after all, huh?
00:57:17Okay.
00:57:17So we hide you, and the fish and I do the talking.
00:57:20Actually, she knows me, too.
00:57:24She hates me.
00:57:29Okay, so we hide both of you.
00:57:31Fine.
00:57:32So say that you spin a real silver-tongued yarn, and they let you go.
00:57:37How do we get out?
00:57:40I don't care.
00:57:48She is not a good person.
00:57:51I mean, I know it's not easy to be a good person when times are tough,
00:57:53but that's how you know if you're a good person in the first place, you know?
00:57:58Yeah, I do.
00:58:00That, I used to say...
00:58:02I know exactly what you mean.
00:58:06Let's go make a plan.
00:58:09We dig.
00:58:10Under and out.
00:58:12I don't think we have that kind of time.
00:58:13Okay, um, we set a fire.
00:58:18Where?
00:58:19In the house.
00:58:20In the fireplace?
00:58:21No, we set the house on fire.
00:58:24Lots of smoke, confusion, and then we slip away under the cover of chaos.
00:58:30Or we die in a terrible house fire.
00:58:33We just go, trip the alarm, and hide in the trees.
00:58:47Okay.
00:58:48Cops come, look around, think it's a false alarm, and then we get out of here.
00:58:53All right, that's progress, but we're still inside the gate.
00:58:58The whole community is fenced in.
00:59:00We're like zoo animals.
00:59:02So we just climb the fence?
00:59:06Okay, uh, if we can, that would put us...
00:59:12inside another gated community.
00:59:14Ah, I...
00:59:15Who are these people trying to protect themselves from?
00:59:19Each other?
00:59:20Are there marauding gangs of Volvo drivers we don't know about?
00:59:25You need the code.
00:59:26I've looked everywhere.
00:59:28Maybe it's in the garage, that lockbox.
00:59:30No.
00:59:31You found the key?
00:59:33No, it wasn't, um, with the other keys.
00:59:38I haven't seen it, so it probably just, you know...
00:59:42Just what?
00:59:45Um.
00:59:48Well.
00:59:49Might as well look for it.
00:59:50Might be our only hope.
00:59:52Yeah.
00:59:54Okay.
01:00:01What are you doing?
01:00:03If we open the doors of the rooms we've already searched,
01:00:05then we know we've already been there.
01:00:06We're looking for a tiny key or a four-digit code.
01:00:09You think you searched these rooms well enough to just walk away?
01:00:11I'm working in broad strokes.
01:00:13Okay, fine.
01:00:14I don't...
01:00:16What the fuck?
01:00:18Watch the door.
01:00:19What the fuck is going on?
01:00:21Who did this?
01:00:22No, no, no.
01:00:22How did they get in here?
01:00:23No.
01:00:24No, no.
01:00:24What the fuck is going on here?
01:00:26Just leave it.
01:00:27Leave me.
01:00:27We're not going to leave you.
01:00:28I'll be fine.
01:00:29Just worry about yourself.
01:00:30Who did this?
01:00:31I don't think you did.
01:00:31Nobody.
01:00:32Who?
01:00:32How many?
01:00:33Nobody did it.
01:00:34There's nobody here.
01:00:36There's nobody here.
01:00:38No.
01:00:41Then who tied you up?
01:00:46I did.
01:00:47So you were just going to sell us up the river.
01:00:54Don't get pissed off at me just because I had a plan.
01:00:57How'd you tie yourself up like that?
01:00:58That's not the point, Marlon.
01:01:00She picks locks.
01:01:01She ties herself up in elaborate knots.
01:01:03You don't find that a curious skill set for a dog walker?
01:01:06I'm not a dog walker.
01:01:07See?
01:01:07They show up.
01:01:09You're gagged and bound.
01:01:10So you're just a fellow victim of this senseless crime.
01:01:14You're the ones who locked us in.
01:01:15I'm just looking for a way out.
01:01:18Devious.
01:01:19Very, very devious.
01:01:21Why are your clothes off?
01:01:23Look, it was just one idea.
01:01:24Probably not the best one.
01:01:26Can we just move on?
01:01:27Why are they ripped?
01:01:28Again, the clock is ticking.
01:01:30Let's not waste time reliving past mistakes.
01:01:32If I needed to, and only if they were not buying my story,
01:01:41I might have had to go with more of a sexual assault angle.
01:01:48What?
01:01:50Devious, dirty little...
01:01:52Looking at it from your perspective,
01:01:54I can see how that was probably too far.
01:01:58Probably.
01:01:59Definitely.
01:02:00Definitely too far.
01:02:01And I'm so glad it didn't come to that.
01:02:03But, you know, there are always, like, a couple clunkers
01:02:05when you're brainstorming.
01:02:06What?
01:02:07We weren't brainstorming.
01:02:08You were setting us up for charges of kidnapping,
01:02:10assault and battery, and...
01:02:13And burglary.
01:02:14That doesn't concern me right now.
01:02:15Well, that's where we're back to.
01:02:17Burglary.
01:02:18I haven't taken anything, so...
01:02:21Breaking and entering, maybe.
01:02:23We didn't break anything.
01:02:24We used the key.
01:02:26We did stay in the rug, but that's not technically broken.
01:02:29The point is, we're in trouble.
01:02:33Trouble is just an opportunity that got turned around.
01:02:36Am I right?
01:02:38Yeah.
01:02:38What kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that?
01:02:41That's not bullshit.
01:02:42That is solid, deep thinking.
01:02:46Hey, Fish.
01:02:47Uh, you know where you found everything else?
01:02:50What about it?
01:02:52Are you sure you didn't miss anything?
01:02:54Yes, I'm sure I didn't miss anything.
01:02:57I don't need the accusations, thank you very much.
01:03:00Worth looking at, though.
01:03:02Why are you taking her side?
01:03:04I'm not taking anyone's side.
01:03:06I'm just saying it's worth double-checking.
01:03:09Ugh.
01:03:10That's fucked up.
01:03:11I can't feel anything.
01:03:19Told you.
01:03:20Get way back in there.
01:03:21I am.
01:03:22Maybe we should get a flashlight.
01:03:23Is there a flashlight in any...
01:03:25What is this?
01:03:27Nothing.
01:03:28It's not what you think it is.
01:03:30What do I think it is?
01:03:31I don't know.
01:03:31Fuck.
01:03:32Fuck.
01:03:32Fuck.
01:03:33Fuck.
01:03:33Fuck.
01:03:41I just didn't think you needed a distraction.
01:03:47We're trying to get out of here, you know, so I...
01:03:57Holy shit.
01:04:01Sometimes I wake up and think Leo is there in the bed beside me.
01:04:04And my heart sinks when I realize...
01:04:07He used to say trouble is just an opportunity that got turned around.
01:04:12But I don't know if I'll ever get turned back around.
01:04:13Poor Carl walked in on me crying during a documentary about Niagara Falls.
01:04:18Everything, every feeling was still right there.
01:04:20I wish I could just have a tomato juice and calm down.
01:04:23It worked for Leo.
01:04:25I'd have to drink it by the gallon at this point.
01:04:26Things got tough with Leo, and I wasn't a good person.
01:04:31So maybe I was never a good person in the first place.
01:04:34I know that now.
01:04:42Why would she cut out the pages of her own?
01:04:48All that time with Jessica, I never...
01:04:54She dumped you.
01:04:56Left.
01:04:58But I'm still here, always.
01:05:00We've been talking about this heist for forever, and, you know, a little bit of excitement,
01:05:08doing our own thing, some teamwork, but now it's just the same shit.
01:05:14You had Jessica, now you have her.
01:05:17Her?
01:05:17She's gonna tell the cops that I raped her.
01:05:20I believe I apologized.
01:05:22This is the whole reason that we broke in here.
01:05:26No, it's the whole reason you broke in here.
01:05:28This is crazy.
01:05:29This...
01:05:30This changes everything.
01:05:31She's still...
01:05:35I know the code.
01:05:38What?
01:05:41I know the code.
01:05:42It's our anniversary.
01:05:43No, you don't know.
01:05:44No, I know.
01:05:45No, you don't know.
01:05:46You're gonna fuck around and get us all arrested just because you read some cotton candy thoughts
01:05:51in her little girl diary.
01:05:53But you don't know the code.
01:05:54Okay.
01:05:56Now, we haven't been at our best, any of us.
01:06:00And maybe someday we'll all sit down, break bread, and have our apologies and tender moments
01:06:06and whatnot, and that'll be nice, I'm sure.
01:06:09But right now, this is over.
01:06:12I'm getting us out of here because I know.
01:06:16I know.
01:06:28There.
01:06:31Now let's go.
01:06:33Fuck!
01:06:36That can't be the...
01:06:37Let's go!
01:06:38We gotta run!
01:06:39Hide in the bushes!
01:06:40I don't understand.
01:06:41We're fucked!
01:06:42We run!
01:06:43Let's go!
01:06:44Hey!
01:06:45We have to stay!
01:06:46There's only one way out!
01:06:47Yeah!
01:06:48The door!
01:06:49Let's go!
01:06:50No!
01:06:51It's not the door!
01:06:52It's him.
01:06:53He's right!
01:06:55He knows.
01:07:16Hello?
01:07:17Hello?
01:07:28This is the police!
01:07:37Everybody okay?
01:07:38Oh!
01:07:39Oh!
01:07:40Oh!
01:07:41Oh!
01:07:42Oh!
01:07:43Thank God!
01:07:44Honey!
01:07:45Honey!
01:07:46The security guard's here!
01:07:47I'm so sorry!
01:07:48What?
01:07:49I'm so sorry!
01:07:50What?
01:07:51I'm so sorry!
01:07:52About this!
01:07:53Kill the alarm!
01:07:54I'm on the scene!
01:07:55Hold the backup!
01:07:56Stand by!
01:07:57Oh!
01:07:58Oh!
01:07:59Oh!
01:08:00Oh!
01:08:01Oh!
01:08:02I'm so sorry what I'm so sorry about this kill the alarm I'm on the scene hold
01:08:12the backup standby oh oh god thank you I'm sorry I uh I misplaced a little slip
01:08:23of paper that my sister wrote the code on for me so got that alarm is such a
01:08:29pain sometimes yeah sometimes you said miss Devers is your sister that's right
01:08:42that's me and my sister Jessica the homeowner with our younger sister Carla
01:08:50and mom and dad it's a Virginia City have you ever been nope oh it's a thing to
01:08:58see just like you'd have pictured the old west to Ben like it's a lot of fun well
01:09:05I'll have to check that out sometime you'll have to take me God he talks
01:09:09about it all the time but we've never gone you know you get busy I've met your
01:09:17folks before yeah your dad Randy yeah Randy he helped me out I was having some
01:09:28trouble with the gate oh I bet he loved that he's so good with those sorts of
01:09:34things he should have been a mechanic or maybe a surgeon even anything but
01:09:40insurance yeah well yeah he fixed it right up so and your mom made these uh I hope
01:09:47it was the lemon bars yeah that's right lucky those are the only thing she knows
01:09:53how to make well they were good so you know you dodged a bullet seriously I've
01:09:58never seen a woman make more of a disaster of snickerdoodles I don't remember you
01:10:05folks coming in oh you know I think the the other gentleman was working Leslie oh I
01:10:15don't um yeah he did work the day shift normally he lets me know if we have visitors
01:10:23yeah well well if there's some paperwork they were supposed to fill out or something we'd
01:10:27be happy to do it didn't you know you know just normally people let us know if they're
01:10:31gonna have guests while they're away well Jessica details aren't really her thing but she
01:10:38just told us to get out of the city for a couple days and you know spend some quiet time together
01:10:44you just got engaged well congratulations
01:10:51thanks
01:10:52phone's ready here it comes what is the only varietal of grape that is actually named after a god
01:11:05can we get you something to eat oh god I'd offer you some soup but darn alarm went off and god it
01:11:12surprised me maybe some pretzels or chips or ravioli some people don't like eating it out of the can
01:11:19some people don't like eating it out of the can but it reminds me of growing up no I'm good thank you
01:11:27thank you
01:11:28oh I'm told we have a caller and just in time hello are you ready to reveal the impossible
01:11:34yes it's sangio facey
01:11:37I'm sorry you need to speak up please
01:11:39it's sangio facey
01:11:42that's correct
01:11:44whoa
01:11:45whoa
01:11:46whoa
01:11:47oh
01:11:48oh
01:11:49that is
01:11:50some people have all the luck huh
01:11:56man I bet that guy's partying hard wherever he is
01:11:59huh no doubt
01:12:01congratulations you've just won one hundred and five thousand dollars
01:12:05what's your name?
01:12:06Marlon
01:12:07like the fish?
01:12:09yeah
01:12:11yeah
01:12:12yeah I like the fish
01:12:19oh well apologies again for causing all the ruckus
01:12:22yeah
01:12:23no problem at all
01:12:24happens all the time
01:12:25these alarms are more trouble than they're worth
01:12:28I mean to be honest it's kind of a let down
01:12:30just once I want to come in guns a blazing
01:12:33have it out with some
01:12:34we can dream though right?
01:12:38yeah have a good night
01:12:39oh shit
01:12:41sorry guys
01:12:44I just gotta go by the book with this kind of stuff
01:12:47of course
01:12:49I just need you to tell me the safe word
01:12:52rutabaga
01:12:53sorry that's our safe word
01:12:56oh sorry over share
01:12:58honey
01:12:59uh
01:13:00uh
01:13:01safe word?
01:13:02yeah you know the
01:13:04word you're supposed to know when you're in the house
01:13:06just clears that you're actually allowed to be here
01:13:09mhm
01:13:13you can call your sister if you need to that's fine
01:13:27one word you say
01:13:29yeah
01:13:31me
01:13:32you know
01:13:33yeah
01:13:38you know
01:13:51you know
01:13:54yeah
01:13:55Villain
01:13:56That's the one.
01:14:02You guys have a good night.
01:14:04Oh, you too.
01:14:05Oh, hey, um, you can leave that open.
01:14:08We're going to head to the store in a second.
01:14:10Start over with that soup.
01:14:11Soup, yeah.
01:14:13Sounds good to me.
01:14:26Let's get the f*** out of here.
01:14:37Fish!
01:14:39Did you hear that shit?
01:14:40Let's go.
01:14:41$105,000.
01:14:43Congratulations.
01:14:44Let's go.
01:14:44Let's load these up.
01:14:45No time.
01:14:46What about the pizza?
01:14:47What?
01:14:47Our ride?
01:14:48I have my car.
01:14:49Go, go, go.
01:14:56Hold on.
01:15:00Let me make room for you.
01:15:05You leave anything there?
01:15:08No.
01:15:09No, wait.
01:15:10Ow.
01:15:26Goodbye.
01:15:31Chocolate chip pancakes?
01:15:55Those sound amazing.
01:15:58Yeah, people like them.
01:15:59You know what?
01:16:01We might be one percenters.
01:16:03Almost.
01:16:04You know, collectively, our forces combined.
01:16:07But with this kind of seed money,
01:16:09we could plan a proper job.
01:16:11You know, we're experienced now.
01:16:13We can go big.
01:16:14Something with grappling hooks.
01:16:16Or go all D.B. Cooper.
01:16:17F***ing legends.
01:16:19Maybe we could just get a little breakfast first
01:16:21and then see.
01:16:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
01:16:25Breakfast is on me, by the way.
01:16:26Oh.
01:16:28Huh.
01:16:29I should give this to that guy.
01:16:32I'll get this one.
01:16:35I owe Darcy a breakfast anyhow.
01:16:39Oh, okay.
01:16:40So now that we're all, um,
01:16:42it's actually Kate.
01:16:45My name.
01:16:49Devious.
01:16:51Where are you going to put that lamp?
01:16:53Craigslist.
01:16:54It's our only score from the job.
01:16:58Well, and this.
01:17:02What?
01:17:03That's crazy.
01:17:05Man, do they have celebration items on a breakfast menu?
01:17:08What would that be, like an enormous pile of bacon?
01:17:12We're going places, I'll tell you that.
01:17:14Non-tropical places.
01:17:15I'm standing my ground on that issue.
01:17:17But everything else is open.
01:17:19Because you've got to keep yourself open to new things.
01:17:20Keep it fresh.
01:17:22Otherwise you get stuck.
01:17:24I mean, you can't make a plan to know about something
01:17:26that you don't already know about.
01:17:29Hold up.
01:17:30That's f***ing wisdom right there.
01:17:33Yep.
01:17:34You just know it.
01:17:35That's f***ing wisdom right there.
01:18:05Me and my friends are doing fine.
01:18:09Hey.
01:18:12Me and my friends are doing fine.
01:18:16Hey.
01:18:19Just like the water falling.
01:18:23Hey.
01:18:23Down to the rocks.
01:18:25It never stops.
01:18:27The falling water never stops.
01:18:31Hey.
01:18:35Down to the rocks.
01:18:41The fall of the rocks.
01:18:44See you.
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