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  • 1 week ago
A stand-up comedian confesses to a murder on-stage at an open mic night to a shocked audience - his crime the result of | dG1fckowek00Rk5RYTQ
Transcript
00:01I didn't know that you had a sister.
00:03Yeah.
00:04We're gonna be a family again, after all these years.
00:07I got parole.
00:09My parents, they died a long time ago.
00:11Let's just say we didn't really have the most traditional family upbringing.
00:19Is that when Madison left to get the gun?
00:22I've decided we're moving to Chicago.
00:24Just leave, okay? I've got responsibilities.
00:26More important than me?
00:28Of course not.
00:30Truth is what is.
00:33A lie will be...
00:34Real class clown, this guy.
00:36He and his sister.
00:37Did you know one time the two of them were the talk of the city?
00:39Doing all the newspapers, on television.
00:42I'm bleeding.
00:43Everybody knew where they were.
00:45You are the only thing in this world that matters to me.
00:49Don't touch us.
00:51Today, and today only,
00:54trade any two alcoholic and abusive parents
00:57and get a set of loving and caring surrogates.
00:59And if you throw in that sister of yours,
01:01we'll even give you a cute, cuddly dog.
01:05It's a once in a lifetime offer.
01:08Touch him again and I'll kill you.
01:11I belong here.
01:13Hey.
01:14Do you mind if I go looking for Denny?
01:16He was just acting so weird last night.
01:17I'm really worried.
01:19We couldn't have kids of our own.
01:20But we have found so much happiness in what we do have.
01:23And we're thankful.
01:24We're thankful for you.
01:25I don't want to lie anymore.
01:28I don't want to lie anymore.
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