00:00Hello, theater humans. My name is Ghosty. I'm the stand-in Artistic Director here at Pilot Park Theater.
00:16And you probably have many questions right now. Like, how is a ghost light able to speak
00:21so confidently in front of a camera? Well, I can tell you with 60% certainty that I am
00:27classically trained. I'm 60% certain you don't know what that means. Shh! I'm recording a message.
00:34It's very important. Why is it important? We need to assure the theater humans that their theater is
00:40in good hands while they're away. Now, um, where was I? Lightball! We can assure you that your theater
00:47is in good hands while you're away. Now, you may also be wondering, how is it that a bunch of tools
00:53and props are able to continue theater while you're away? Ghosty, the stakes. Not a good time, Swoop.
00:58But what about the stakes? Have you raised them? This is a PSA. There are no stakes to be raised.
01:04Please get out of the shot. Okay, well, if you change your mind, there's a butcher shop just on the street.
01:09Hey, are you done with your video practice yet? This isn't a practice. It's the real thing.
01:14You mean, that's a real video camera? How do you fit a cassette tape into that thing?
01:20Uh, there's no tape. It's digital.
01:22D-G-J-T-A-L. I've never heard of them.
01:27It's like you've been hiding in a box for 40 years.
01:29Quiet on set!
01:33Please. I just want to get this message out to the humans.
01:37Well, you don't have to do that alone.
01:40And you know you can't get rid of me.
01:42Heh. I suppose that's all true.
01:44Well, is there anything you'd like to say to them?
01:47I'm a broom!
01:47Something relevant, Swoop? Look, we don't know why you're gone or how long you'll be away.
01:53But we promise to carry the torch and continue your work while you're not here.
01:58Even though we have no idea what we're doing!
02:01Hey, um, do we even have a license to be recording this?
02:04You know, I don't think we do. So we'll just film it for archival purposes.
02:08What's archival purposes?
02:10It's a questionable loophole.
02:11Hey, Brisho! Wanna take us away?
02:13Sure thing, Ghostie.
02:14Don't Touch the Props will be opening in 2021.
02:18Thank you, 2021!
02:20Don't Touch the Props!
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