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Short filmTranscript
00:00what began as hateful sex quickly spiraled into fake engagements corporate sabotage and even
00:18murder but beneath all the chaos it's actually a love story just not the fairy tale you're used
00:25to so buckle up it's about to get a little wild hey what's up i can't believe you ghosted the guy
00:42i set you up with please can we just drop it i told you i don't have time for dating right now
00:48what i'm hearing is that you have trust issues maybe but i still don't have time for dating
00:54all right i wanted this to be a blind date so you could lose your mind when you saw how hot this
01:01guy was in real life here is his picture
01:04oh my god i wouldn't mind a taste of that plus i haven't gotten any since
01:15mindy no no i cannot bore myself to death getting to know another loser
01:25oh my god that's so crazy you backpacked through mount dinkly dinkly while you were in college
01:31all right fair it's hard to find a guy that's gonna match your freak
01:35come over for a drink at least no i'm already in my pjs that's like a whole thing i'm in my pajamas
01:41too we'll have a drink we'll have a pajama party and it'll help you relax before your big day
01:47tomorrow come on i just want a drink one right see you sir this was supposed to be one innocent
01:55drink with a friend in pajamas not a midnight joyride lingerie in a collision with my terrible
02:00decisions but then again when has anything ever gone as planned in my life
02:06what the fuck christ
02:13fuck hey asshole who taught you how to drive
02:18hey hey uh you're the one who hit me
02:30you're the one that breaks at the last second i'm just about him by the laws you ever heard of traffic
02:36lights you stopped at a yellow who the fuck does that a yellow that was turning red what are you
02:43colorblind now oh you're clearly impossible to talk to
03:04okay thank you
03:08perfect tow truck's gonna come in an hour i hope you're proud of yourself
03:13hey i got a question for you
03:19do you always terrorize traffic in your nighties
03:25i was going to a friend's pretty hot excuse me you heard me but it doesn't excuse your driving do
03:31you ever just shut up why don't you make me hope i call everything oh okay so reckless driving now
03:40my salt and battery you're a prick you know that oh yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you oh
03:45fuck you
03:51oh
03:53oh
03:55oh
03:59oh
04:03oh
04:05oh
04:07oh
04:09Pleasure to meet you.
04:23I'll be home for my insurance company.
04:33I look forward to it.
04:39I can not believe you had a one-night stand.
04:49In my defense, I was probably concussed.
04:53Secret in bed.
04:58I plead the fifth.
04:59Well, are you going to see him again?
05:01No, of course not. I hate the guy.
05:03Then why did you sleep with him?
05:05Look, I have to go. Wish me luck.
05:08Good luck.
05:11Whatever.
05:12It's not like I ever have to see him again.
05:16Oh, she's going to see him again.
05:18Hugh.
05:33Hugh.
05:34Hugh.
05:35What are you doing here?
05:38It's my first day.
05:40I'm counsel for the independent merger.
05:43Great.
05:44So you'll be poking around my business.
05:46Trust me.
05:47Your business is the last place I want to poke.
05:50He didn't seem to mind last night.
05:54Everything all right over here, Ethan?
05:57Totally fine.
05:58All right.
05:59Do you two know each other?
06:05No.
06:06Yeah.
06:07I guess, technically, it was...
06:10No.
06:11Well, technically, it was...
06:14Are these your things?
06:16You might want to pick them up.
06:17I'd hate for them to get stepped on.
06:20Thanks for the tip.
06:22Always happy to help new arrivals.
06:23I just need your signature.
06:28Um, why would you need his signature?
06:30Because, sweetheart, he owns the company.
06:37See you, Marcus.
06:43Fuck me.
06:50Watch yourself.
06:51I'd hate for your first day to be your last.
07:04Okay.
07:05Got that.
07:07Are there any cybersecurity controls that the auditors are going to need?
07:10Yeah, they'll look closely at endpoint protection and third-party vendor access.
07:15Got it.
07:15It's late.
07:25Do you work all your employees into the ground, or am I just the lucky one?
07:29Only the ones that think they're smarter than me.
07:31Oh, think.
07:34Yeah, that's something I happen to know.
07:36Yeah, in your mind, maybe.
07:38Don't flatter yourself.
07:40You're not in my mind.
07:41Really?
07:44Because I thought you'd be thinking about the best sex of your life you had the other night.
07:55Okay, um, do you want to get this done?
07:57Or do I want to give you in your ego the room?
07:59I mean, I just enjoy watching people fall apart under pressure.
08:03You must love mirrors, then.
08:05Come on.
08:09You would, too, if you had biceps like these.
08:12Ah, do you?
08:14Mm-hmm.
08:17Not too bad.
08:19I don't know.
08:21I think I could take you.
08:24Damn.
08:25Very nice, but you're, like, three feet tall.
08:28Oh, please.
08:28If I wanted to, I could have you on your back in three seconds.
08:34I could lift you with one arm.
08:37I'd like to see you try.
08:40I bet you would.
08:44Coward.
08:45Yeah.
08:48Oh, come on.
08:49Come on.
08:51Come on.
08:55Come on.
08:56Don't you just love sex?
09:22Mm-hmm.
09:22Absolutely adore it.
09:24Clearly.
09:24What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
09:26I mean, we've only seen each other twice, and each time we've, well, fucked.
09:32It's true.
09:33And it's weird.
09:35You just have a three-day rule.
09:36What's the three-day rule?
09:38Exactly what it sounds like.
09:39It's two dates, and then on the third date, we have sex.
09:42Hmm.
09:43Well, I'm kind of in sex for the benefits, the health benefits.
09:46Oh, yeah.
09:47It's really good for your skin, for sleep.
09:49It's great for your immune system.
09:51Yeah, I'd never get sick.
09:54Hey, uh, I have a proposition for us.
10:02Just regular sex, no strings attached.
10:05You and me?
10:06Yeah, I mean, business is business.
10:08And, uh, no feelings, no future.
10:11Come on.
10:11I know you want to.
10:18You're so annoying.
10:20Okay, fine.
10:22No fucking feelings.
10:24No fucking future.
10:25I love it.
10:30Ethan!
10:32Oh, shit, that's Hillary.
10:33What?
10:34Get up, get up.
10:35Who the fuck is Hillary?
10:37Hillary Stone.
10:38She's a shareholder.
10:39And the woman I'm seeing.
10:44What the fuck?
10:46No.
10:46I don't know if it's a guest, she's.
10:50Under, no.
10:51Before she gets in here.
10:53Ethan!
10:58Hillary.
10:59Hi, darling.
11:00How are you?
11:00I'm good, you know, just burning the midnight oil.
11:02Yeah?
11:03Yeah, you know me.
11:03Well, I brought you a cake, but
11:06looks like you've already had your dessert.
11:14Yeah.
11:15Ice cream, yeah.
11:17I'll try it.
11:18Yeah.
11:20Ooh.
11:21Strong, strong.
11:24Thank you, very good.
11:25Mm-hmm.
11:26That smells disgusting in here.
11:32Also, I'm going to clean it up.
11:34No.
11:35It's totally fine.
11:35I got it.
11:38It's all good.
11:39I got you.
11:54Hey, hey.
11:55I was thinking, you and I
11:57go on a date tomorrow.
12:00Really?
12:01Yeah.
12:02Just the two of us?
12:03Just the two of us.
12:05Maybe you can put on something cute.
12:07Like what?
12:08On one of your fancy dresses.
12:10Yeah.
12:11But I should probably get back to work,
12:15finish up,
12:16and you're just a big distraction.
12:18Let's look at you.
12:19You're so beautiful.
12:21I don't even have five minutes.
12:22That's cool.
12:23Why not?
12:25Here's your bag.
12:27Will you call me for a bed?
12:28I'll text you.
12:29Oh, no.
12:34Holy shit.
12:34What the fuck?
12:39Okay.
12:40Deal is off.
12:41I'm calling it off.
12:48What the fuck?
12:50Okay.
12:51Deal is off.
12:52I'm calling it off.
12:53I can't believe you're sleeping with other women.
12:55And that woman is Hillary whatever the fuck her name is.
12:57No, hang on, hang on.
12:59Hillary and I are not sleeping together.
13:00We went out like twice.
13:01I don't believe that.
13:02No, besides,
13:03I'm a gentleman,
13:04and I only sleep with one woman at a time.
13:06You're telling me you two aren't sleeping together.
13:08I promise.
13:10You're dating.
13:11We went on two dates.
13:13Okay.
13:15You're not exclusive?
13:16Not exclusive.
13:17Our deal's back on?
13:20That was not okay.
13:21I understand.
13:27Okay.
13:28As a reigning attorney,
13:30I'm adding an addendum to our agreement.
13:33Number one,
13:34nobody sleeps with anyone else.
13:36Once that happens,
13:37deal's off.
13:38Yeah, agreed.
13:39Okay, and number two,
13:40nobody can know that we're sleeping together.
13:42Absolutely.
13:44No feelings,
13:45no future.
13:45I'm feeling so future.
13:48Okay.
13:49Okay, no, get the fuck away from me.
13:50I'll like it when you're angry.
13:52Ugh.
13:52No feelings.
14:21No future.
14:24No future.
14:24No future.
14:29So, let's hear it.
14:31Spill the tea.
14:32Wendy, I'm telling you,
14:33this sex is life-changing.
14:35Look who's talking.
14:37Well, maybe this time
14:39it'll be the actual thing.
14:40Okay, I don't know about that.
14:41We're at each other's throats most of the time,
14:42but it kind of makes it hotter.
14:44I...
14:44Hello?
14:46Hello?
14:47Hello?
14:48I'll call you back.
14:49Okay.
14:50You're feeling so huge.
15:20Oh, it's you.
15:22Remind me of your name again?
15:24It's Sloan.
15:25I didn't even see you come in.
15:27I must have still been in the bathroom stall with Ethan.
15:29Oh, my God.
15:30We were in there forever.
15:32That boy's just got such endurance on him.
15:39You were?
15:41Yeah.
15:42Our relationship is so hot and heavy.
15:45I mean, he just can't keep his hands off me.
15:47We're doing it everywhere.
15:50Oh, I saw the way you looked at him.
15:56Girl to girl, it's not going to work out.
16:00I would hate for someone to get the wrong impression that that's the way that you move through your career.
16:06Do you know what I'm saying?
16:09Listen, Sloan, you are such a beautiful girl.
16:14I mean, you've got the face and the hair and the body.
16:19I'm sure that there's a guy out there who's in your league and would be more than happy to take you home tonight.
16:27Lip gloss?
16:30I'm good.
16:33Enjoy yourself.
16:34Someone's in a hurry.
16:54I'm so sorry.
16:55I can pay for the cleaning.
16:57It's okay.
16:57I'm on my way home from work anyhow.
16:58Uh, where do you work?
17:01I work at a, uh, finance house just across the street.
17:03That's cool.
17:05I'm sorry.
17:06Don't worry, Brian, don't worry.
17:07I'm, um, I'm Marco Talbi.
17:09I'll shake your hand, but it's a little wet.
17:10No, that's okay.
17:11I'm Sloan.
17:13Nice to meet you, Sloan.
17:13Nice to meet you.
17:15I know it's very forward, but, uh,
17:18could I maybe take you out to dinner tonight?
17:21Tonight?
17:22I know it's forward.
17:23You're beautiful and spontaneous.
17:25Why not?
17:27Uh,
17:28you know what?
17:33Why not?
17:34Yeah?
17:34Yeah.
17:35Meet you here at seven?
17:36I'd love that.
17:37Okay.
17:38I look forward to it.
17:39I'm going to see you then.
17:40I'll see you then.
17:40Okay.
17:41All right.
17:41Bye.
17:41Bye.
17:41Bye.
17:52Marco's everything that I'm supposed to want.
18:17He's kind.
18:18He's handsome.
18:19But what if, deep down, I'm the kind of girl who falls for the storm, not the shelter?
18:25Here you go.
18:26Deal's off, by the way.
18:29Here you go.
18:30Deal's off, by the way.
18:32What do you mean the deal's off?
18:33Just what I said.
18:34Deal's off.
18:35I mean, but we're just getting started.
18:37Okay.
18:38I'm sorry.
18:39What happened?
18:40I met someone.
18:41And it's time for date three.
18:44And you're sure about this?
18:46You just want to throw away what we have?
18:47And what is it that we have, exactly?
18:57Nothing.
18:58Yeah.
18:58Never mind.
18:59You're a loss.
19:01What's, uh, what's this guy's name?
19:04Marco.
19:05Sylvie.
19:05I don't know why that would matter to you, actually.
19:08Yeah, you're right.
19:09It doesn't matter.
19:12You're an ass.
19:13You know that?
19:16You're a bitch.
19:17I always knew that you were too immature to handle this kind of thing.
19:21And I knew you were too insecure.
19:23Excuse me?
19:24You heard me.
19:27Why don't you go sleep with your safe little rebound?
19:30And you can sabotage that relationship just like you did ours.
19:33I give it two weeks.
19:36Fuck you.
19:37Oh, real mature, Sloan.
19:39Just shut up.
19:40You know, from now on, agreement is Nolan Boyd.
19:43Great.
19:44Great.
19:44Great.
19:57Jake, it's me.
19:58I need you to find out everything you can about this Marco Selby guy.
20:02Report back to me.
20:03I like it.
20:13You are so stunning.
20:15You must get it all the time, though.
20:17Um...
20:18You do.
20:21You have to be modest.
20:22Means a lot coming from you, though.
20:27You know, I've dated a lot, Sloan, but, um...
20:31You've had such a big impact on me.
20:34You're so beautiful.
20:35I know it's only the, um...
20:45Only the third date.
20:49But, um...
20:51Do you want to, um...
20:53Yeah.
20:54Yeah?
20:55Wait, wait, wait, wait.
21:06Just a minute.
21:08Um...
21:09You okay?
21:12I...
21:13I think I don't feel ready.
21:16I...
21:17I don't want to mess this up.
21:18I'm sorry.
21:20That's okay.
21:22Can we wait?
21:23Of course.
21:25I'm waiting for you as a person, so...
21:29Look, I'm sorry about last night, again.
21:41Don't apologize.
21:42I had such a nice evening.
21:48That's easier?
21:49Yeah.
21:49Okay.
21:50See ya.
21:55Hey, boss.
22:02Yeah, this, uh...
22:03This Marco clan just came out of Sloan's home.
22:07He looked pretty happy.
22:08All right, Jake.
22:09Thanks for the intel.
22:10Just stay on him.
22:11No feelings, no future.
22:23No feelings, no future.
22:29Ethan, can I speak to you for a moment?
22:31It's Mr. Cross.
22:33Uh, I see you were too busy this morning to finish the paperwork on the mergers.
22:36Well, you promised you would send me those reports six hours ago, so if you could go
22:41do your job, I'd appreciate it so that I could do mine.
22:44It's kind of hard to do my job when there's a walking HR violation.
22:48It's cute, though.
22:52Marco?
22:55What are you doing here?
22:56I took your glasses by mistake.
22:58Oh my god, you brought them all the way here?
22:59Of course.
23:00I wouldn't want you to be like to get to those beautiful eyes of yours.
23:03You are so sweet and considerate.
23:06I'm gonna go put these in my purse.
23:08Go for it.
23:08You two boys play nice.
23:12Oh, man.
23:13Oh my god, that ass just will not quit.
23:15Dude, you better watch your mouth.
23:18Flower boy.
23:18Flower boy!
23:19Take it easy, big guy.
23:21He's coming there to drop something off, not to cause a problem.
23:25Is he always like this, guys?
23:27All right, this is my workplace.
23:28So if you can just leave, it'll be very nice.
23:31I will.
23:32I will.
23:32I'm just gonna go and reminisce on last night.
23:33Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there.
23:35This is my office.
23:36You keep running your mouth.
23:37Yeah.
23:38I'll hit it.
23:39You'll hit it?
23:40I'll hit it.
23:40Okay.
23:41Hey.
23:42We're playing nicely.
23:43We're just getting to know each other.
23:44He's a good guy.
23:45Oh, I'm so glad.
23:46I'm sure you have a lot in common.
23:48Have a lovely day, honey.
23:50Bye.
23:50See you around.
23:51I am thoroughly and utterly confused.
24:01I am thoroughly and utterly confused.
24:04I cannot believe you said no to sex with a total stud.
24:09And you broke your three-day rule.
24:12I know.
24:13Most guys don't even get to three dates, and Marco's a great guy.
24:16I just couldn't stop thinking about Ethan.
24:20God, I think I like him.
24:22Is that a bad thing?
24:23Yes.
24:23I hate the guy.
24:24You just said you like him.
24:26I like him, and I hate him.
24:27Girl, you need therapy.
24:29I hate him.
24:46I just feel like he really challenges me.
24:52Like, I finally found someone who matches my fire.
24:55That's great.
24:55Go for him.
24:56No.
24:57But you have great sex.
24:58Okay, but it's like a guarantee that I'm going to get hurt.
25:01Sure don't know that.
25:02Yes, I do.
25:03No.
25:04Yes, I do.
25:04No.
25:05No.
25:05No.
25:05No.
25:16Oh, the plastic kids.
25:43Fuck.
25:44No, no, no.
25:44He's going to see me.
25:45He's going to see me.
25:46You have to hide me.
25:47That's my cue to go.
25:48No.
25:50What are you doing here?
25:51Having a drink.
25:53What are you doing here?
25:54Same.
25:55Would you look at that?
25:58So, uh, how'd it go last night?
26:02Fine.
26:03Talking about the sex.
26:06We didn't have sex.
26:08Oh, that's bullshit.
26:09It was your third date.
26:10Did you spend the night?
26:11You know, I don't really see how that's any of your business, but as a matter of fact,
26:17he did.
26:17Oh, you are so lying.
26:20You know, not all men are out to get laid.
26:23Oh, and you're implying that I am.
26:24Oh, if the shoe fits.
26:25Well, I'm not.
26:27I mean, just look at Hillary and I.
26:28Yeah, she was bragging about how you couldn't get your hands off her.
26:32And she was probably just saying that to make you jealous, and it looks like it's working.
26:36Oh, I am not jealous.
26:40I could give a rat's ass who you fuck, so you can go ahead and get over yourself.
26:46Men are such narcissists.
26:49Women aren't that much better.
26:50It's always me, me, me.
26:52Well, at least we're not afraid of vulnerability.
26:54At least we don't leak our emotions all over the place.
26:56Oh, is that what women do?
26:57Well, if the shoe fits.
26:59Fuck you.
27:00Fuck you.
27:01Fuck you.
27:04Fuck you.
27:05Fuck you.
27:35Shoo me sleep.
27:37You snore.
27:47I guess this means the deal's back on.
27:49Yeah, it looks like the deal's back on.
27:53Nice.
27:55You're an enigma.
27:57I'm Slaw Minters.
27:59And you're an asshole.
28:01Ethan Cross.
28:03Really not.
28:03What's this?
28:11Um, no, that's just work stuff.
28:13Oh, what is it?
28:15Shoo me.
28:15No, no.
28:16Okay.
28:16No.
28:17No.
28:18Fine.
28:18Fine.
28:22So, uh, what are your plans today?
28:25Um, I have to go see my grandma.
28:31She's in the hospital.
28:33Um, so sorry to hear that.
28:35Is there anything I can do to help?
28:39No.
28:46You know what?
28:46Grandma, I take that back.
28:47There is something you can do.
29:02Grandma, this is the avoidance dance I mentioned to you.
29:06This one, I think he's a keeper.
29:09He is, isn't he?
29:10Yeah, well, I've danced in boardrooms, bathrooms, and even a fire drill once.
29:15But you guys are by far my best audience yet.
29:18Well, you make her laugh, and that's worth everything these days.
29:22Don't let her push you away, Ethan.
29:28She does that when she's scared.
29:30Grandma.
29:30I'm old.
29:31I can say these things.
29:41And then I think it was this.
29:43Oh.
29:45Oh, that's cute.
29:46That's cute, Sloane.
29:48Okay, that is cute.
29:50No!
29:51Oh, no.
29:52Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
29:54Okay, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
29:57I'm listening.
29:58Yes?
29:58Uh-huh.
30:04For what you did today.
30:05I really appreciated it.
30:08And I know my grandma did, too.
30:12It was nothing.
30:13And your grandma is super cool.
30:17You know, that's crazy, because you're pretty cool, too.
30:20And you are...
30:21You're beautiful.
30:21You're beautiful.
30:21You're beautiful.
30:25You're beautiful.
30:37What?
30:39Something's different.
30:40Because
30:43I think you're falling for me
31:10I think you're falling for me
31:41You made breakfast?
31:43I sure did
31:44You got a little something for you too?
31:50It's for you
31:51What is this?
31:53I was thinking that we could go on a date
31:56What?
32:00Like a real date, you know, between two real people
32:10I can't
32:11Um, why?
32:16I can't engage in an emotional relationship with you right now
32:20Okay, I don't understand
32:30Because, you know, last night we, uh
32:33It was special, right?
32:38Last night shouldn't have happened
32:39I shouldn't have asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend
32:42Or meet my grandma
32:43And I'm sorry that I ever put you in that position
32:46But nothing that we've ever talked about
32:51Is different now
32:53Nothing has changed
32:54Where the fuck is this coming from?
32:56It's coming from you
32:58You are the one that said
33:01No feelings, no future
33:03You are this now
33:05This is, this is because of Marco
33:07Isn't it?
33:08Oh my God
33:09You are so obsessed with fucking Marco
33:12This isn't Marco
33:13Okay, then what is it about then?
33:15Yes
33:15It's happening
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32:15
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