- 2 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The first person I met on a film set was a pedophile.
00:00:17He was a rich local wanting to get into business
00:00:20and said he wanted to cast me in his next torture porn.
00:00:22He took videos through his living room window
00:00:29of him taking his little dog outside
00:00:31to learn neighborhood children.
00:00:34He cataloged his interactions with them and where they lived.
00:00:38I told the police and he smiled and said
00:00:40I was a great investigator and could probably solve a case on my own.
00:00:44Now I have nightmares that I'm pulling children out
00:00:47from underneath his floorboards to help them escape
00:00:49before he comes home.
00:00:52I always wanted to be an actor.
00:00:56That's fine, you look great.
00:00:57Well, you know how sometimes black can look weird
00:00:59on a black background.
00:01:00Yes, I know.
00:01:01Before we get started,
00:01:03I just want to stress that we're looking for the truth here.
00:01:07To paint a portrait of a woman you claim you once knew
00:01:11and the kind of person she was before she became, you know.
00:01:14Yeah.
00:01:15So there's no need to embellish anything
00:01:17or make it more dazzling.
00:01:18It'll already be hard enough for the audience to swallow as is.
00:01:21No, I'm not worried about them.
00:01:22Everything's subjective anyway, right?
00:01:27So you lived in a house full of actors.
00:01:30Yeah, it was sort of like a brothel.
00:01:33And how did the four of you come to live together?
00:01:37Well, I mean, we just kind of met
00:01:38through the local acting community.
00:01:40Mommy and daddy's little girl, Charlie realized they were gay in high school,
00:01:44eventually coming out to a best friend who pretended to be supportive,
00:01:47but quickly stopped responding and told everyone in school Charlie was in love with her.
00:01:51To make matters worse, their parents identified as Christians,
00:01:54although they didn't know much about the Bible except what they'd heard the preachers say,
00:01:57which was that homosexuals are going to hell.
00:02:00When they came out, their parents responded with a resounding,
00:02:03you are not gay, and the topic was swiftly shelved.
00:02:06Invalidated and traumatized, Charlie caved in on himself,
00:02:09lost their confidence and developed severe anxiety.
00:02:12They became a hermit and channeled their identity into living vicariously
00:02:15through LGBTQ Instagram profiles and hashtags
00:02:18until segueing into fictional characters via acting.
00:02:22Although Charlie had great instincts as a performer,
00:02:24they stuffed them down, leaving their auditions drab,
00:02:27a pale comparison to what they were capable of,
00:02:29much like every other aspect of their life.
00:02:32Yeah, so Beth found this big house for cheap rent,
00:02:34and we all just four split it, and it was a steal.
00:02:36It's nice that you didn't feel any sort of competition amongst each other,
00:02:39you know, going out for the same roles and whatnot.
00:02:41Now, can you tell me a little bit about what it was like between you all
00:02:47before this event happened?
00:02:49Before, before, before.
00:02:52Well, I mean, it was just sort of like four roommates living together.
00:02:56Not really much else to say about it.
00:02:58Would you say you were all friends?
00:03:07Hello?
00:03:10Somebody!
00:03:11I know you're all home!
00:03:13I can hear you!
00:03:24Who are you?
00:03:30It's tornado season anyway.
00:03:32Oh, yeah.
00:03:33I wouldn't necessarily say we were all friends, you know?
00:03:37I actually don't remember any of their names.
00:03:40Friends?
00:03:40The best of friends.
00:03:44Yes, we were truly blessed.
00:03:55Oh, did you park behind me?
00:03:57Uh, yeah.
00:03:57Uh, I need you to move because I'm going to my Wednesday night church group.
00:04:02Didn't you just get home?
00:04:04Yeah.
00:04:05Okay, so why'd you park in the driveway if you're just gonna leave?
00:04:09Oh, because there were two empty spaces.
00:04:12Right.
00:04:13But I parked in the driveway because there was one empty space.
00:04:17Uh, but I'm leaving?
00:04:18Oh, well, uh, can I use some of your milk?
00:04:31I mean, I'd rather you not.
00:04:37It's just I have a pretty portion to last the week.
00:04:40Oh, no, I just, like, a splash.
00:04:43Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:04:45Okay.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:46Hey, do you remember when I was keeping it down for a few?
00:04:48I'm going to go, like, putting my voice over.
00:05:03Yeah, sure it goes.
00:05:04Yeah, I can still hear you.
00:05:19It sounds like you're crumbling 50 newspapers with a pair of snow boots.
00:05:22Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
00:05:23I'm sorry.
00:05:24It's okay.
00:05:25How about you go to your room for, like, 20 minutes, and then I'll text you when I'm done?
00:05:36Okay, sure.
00:05:44Basically, the roommates never tried getting to know each other, each wrapped up in their own careers.
00:05:49So their communications consisted of passive-aggressive texts, door slams, and tiptoeing on eggshells.
00:05:55Hacks.
00:05:57Cunts.
00:05:59Sinners.
00:06:00You all know I'm allergic to nuts.
00:06:02So would you say you were all happy?
00:06:05Yeah, I wouldn't say we were happy.
00:06:06I wouldn't say we were unhappy.
00:06:08I mean, we were just moving together through space and time in the same place.
00:06:14Fair enough.
00:06:15So when did all the trouble start?
00:06:18Well, I guess you could say it all started when Willie decided to move to L.A.
00:06:21On a highway, oh yeah.
00:06:48On a highway, oh yeah.
00:06:51Pew!
00:06:52Pew!
00:06:53Pew!
00:06:53Ooh, yeah.
00:06:56Now take this one and run for the races.
00:06:58Ooh, yeah.
00:07:01Nobody, nobody move from the places.
00:07:03Ooh, yeah.
00:07:05Now take this one and run for the races.
00:07:08Ooh, yeah.
00:07:10Is it just for the boys and the girls in the band?
00:07:13Talk to me, man.
00:07:15Yeah.
00:07:16Talk, talk to me, oh man.
00:07:18Yeah.
00:07:18Talk to me, man.
00:07:20Is it just for the boys in the band?
00:07:22Yeah, no.
00:07:23Talk, talk to me, man.
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:25talk, talk to me, oh man.
00:07:27Yeah.
00:07:28Talk to me, man.
00:07:29Is it just for the boys and the girls in my band?
00:07:32There's politics in the sky
00:07:34You see the animal in your eyes
00:07:37There's ocean bees made butterflies
00:07:39Will she look at me with those eyes?
00:07:41Hey! Hey! Hey!
00:07:43Hey!
00:07:45Hey, my friend
00:07:47Hey, let me fly it backwards, my friend
00:07:49Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
00:07:59You got the room, didn't you?
00:08:01I've gotta go, dude
00:08:07Why?
00:08:09I just feel like I'm ready, you know?
00:08:11Like, it's my time
00:08:13Like, if a real Ally casting director
00:08:15got to see me
00:08:17and meet me
00:08:19and watch me do my thing
00:08:21they would champion me
00:08:23I just have to get in front of the right people
00:08:25You could do that here
00:08:27There's the incentive, things are coming
00:08:29Your projects
00:08:30Really? This is Oklahoma?
00:08:32I'm not gonna book
00:08:34the barista
00:08:36or the grocery store clerk
00:08:38or any of those other character actor roles
00:08:40in the movies that come through here
00:08:42I'm a leading lady
00:08:44Yeah, but
00:08:46you did book those two lifetime movies
00:08:48Exactly
00:08:49My resume is so legit now
00:08:51It's too legit to stay here
00:08:53Yours is too
00:08:55You just
00:08:56Don't have the confidence yet
00:08:58Go to LA
00:09:00You have to be ready to own it
00:09:02And your tapes are just like a little too hesitant
00:09:04Yeah
00:09:05Yeah, yeah, you're right
00:09:07I, um
00:09:08I'm just
00:09:10Gonna miss you is all
00:09:14I don't really have any other friends in the house
00:09:17and everyone else kinda just sucks
00:09:19The sublet girl from Facebook seems really interesting
00:09:23Maybe
00:09:24you two can become best friends
00:09:26and
00:09:27you can come live with me and WeHo
00:09:29Yeah
00:09:30Yeah, totally
00:09:31Totally
00:09:32Everything is gonna change
00:09:36when I'm gone
00:09:38I miss you, Belle
00:09:40I'm gonna miss you, too
00:09:42I'm gonna miss you, too
00:09:49Hm
00:09:58I'm gonna go back
00:09:59Okay
00:10:00Okay
00:10:01Willa is the type of narcissist who would stage her own attack for public sympathy.
00:10:23She has a blind confidence perfect for Los Angeles in that she'll do whatever, whomever
00:10:28it takes to become famous.
00:10:29She tries to overcompensate showing support for others in order to seem like the good
00:10:34guy she believes will prosper, as she has seen before on television.
00:10:37She will eventually push away everyone who can detect her insincerity and become a producer
00:10:42of films starring herself, funded by a rich husband whom she cares nothing for.
00:10:46She will subsequently cheat on and leave him for an equally narcissistic female yoga studio
00:10:51owner.
00:10:52Together they will produce a stream of mildly successful yoga content, create a wellness
00:10:56brand and live together with their pampered dogs.
00:10:58Both will become cocktail alcoholics and die of liver related issues.
00:11:03And then we'll just have to think about it.
00:11:07Okay, I can take it from here.
00:11:12Willa!
00:11:13You're not going to hug me goodbye?
00:11:15Oh my God.
00:11:16I'm sorry.
00:11:17Hey, you remember those HelloFresh dinners we made together with the little burgers and
00:11:20like the ketchup sauce?
00:11:21Yeah.
00:11:22I'm sorry.
00:11:23I'm sorry.
00:11:24It's stupid.
00:11:25Just don't miss your flight.
00:11:28I'm sorry.
00:11:29I'm sorry.
00:11:30I'm sorry.
00:11:31I'm sorry.
00:11:32It's stupid.
00:11:33Just don't miss your flight.
00:11:35I'm sorry.
00:11:37I'm sorry.
00:11:38It's stupid.
00:11:39Just don't miss your flight.
00:11:41I'm sorry.
00:11:42You gotta get rid of these rocks.
00:11:55What?
00:11:56Why?
00:11:57you gotta get rid of these rocks what why first off today at work i mean here i am trying to get
00:12:13my numbers down up and get the file sent over correctly to mark and and and i'm just thinking
00:12:17about these rocks and all the clutter they're causing the room they're taking up the house
00:12:19and and then mark notices of course and he comes over he's like hey man why why aren't the numbers
00:12:24heading up and you know something wrong at home and i have to lie everything's fine and so we just
00:12:28get rid of these rocks i mean this is better for me at work you're asking me to get rid of the
00:12:31memories of my father okay here here's another reason you know my parents are coming over to
00:12:36visit soon and and they're getting up in age and mom had a heart attack recently if they find these rocks
00:12:41i'm gonna have to explain to them you know what they're doing here why they're cluttering up the
00:12:44place why they're taking up so much freaking room and what happens if you know she has another heart
00:12:48attack and and she dies and then we have to pay for the funeral we have all the family over dad's
00:12:53gonna be hanging around and he's gonna be bitching about the lack of football so if we can just get
00:12:57rid of the rocks we can avoid all of that i think if we explained the sentimentality behind him they
00:13:02would understand okay well let me try this another way we're we're in a relationship right and so we
00:13:07want this relationship we want us to grow we want us to become more happy and if one of us is like
00:13:13attached to something in the past that's holding us back we have to give that up and so if we can just
00:13:17get rid of these rocks we would both become more happy i mean i would become more happy so just get rid of
00:13:23these rocks
00:13:30yeah
00:13:32yeah
00:13:34yeah
00:13:37yeah
00:13:40yeah
00:13:42yeah
00:13:43yeah
00:13:48yeah
00:13:49yeah
00:13:50yeah
00:13:52me
00:13:57yeah
00:13:58yeah
00:14:01don't live your life with an itchy vagina choose option v clinically proven
00:14:10to alleviate the most sweaty of gym rashes option B available in any foot cream aisle
00:14:14V. Available in any foot cream aisle. Not proven to reduce the symptoms of
00:14:18crabs. If you think you may be suffering from crabs, please contact your primary
00:14:21care physician. Don't live your life with an itchy vagina.
00:14:26Choose option B. Clinically proven to alleviate the most sweaty
00:14:30of gym rashes. Option B. Available in any foot cream aisle.
00:14:35Not proven to reduce the symptoms of crabs. If you think you may be suffering from
00:14:38crabs, please contact your primary care physician.
00:14:56Shit.
00:15:08I don't know.
00:15:33Beth grew up in a large ultra-religious family, typical for the poor and otherwise hopeless in the midwest.
00:15:39While a teenager, Beth developed her own personal brand of devotion to God and hatred of the devil
00:15:44after what she describes as a profound sermon she heard but cannot recall the specifics of.
00:15:50This personal version of satanic panic actually coincided with an absent-minded viewing of the
00:15:55exorcist at a babysitting job. But Beth would never put two and two together in her own mind.
00:15:59She considered joining a convent until stumbling upon a TVN special of Kirk Cameron talking about
00:16:04being an actor for Jesus and realized she might have a much broader reach witnessing through the
00:16:09entertainment industry.
00:16:10Holy Father, Son of God, please help me be the best person I can in order to please you.
00:16:15Please help me to resist all sins of the flesh.
00:16:26Please help me live a life that's pleasing to you.
00:16:41Help me turn my sinful roommates to your light.
00:16:44Please help me book a life-changing role that will help me have more of an influence
00:16:49in order to do your will.
00:16:50Please help Willa to have a safe trip and let the new girl, Kat?
00:16:59Please, Jesus, let her be my friend.
00:17:03Don't live your life with an itchy vagina.
00:17:07God, what the f**k?
00:17:14Hi, uh, you must be Kath, the new roommate. I'm Beth. Um, hi.
00:17:19Oh, shit.
00:17:24Sorry, these books are kind of heavy.
00:17:25No sweat, uh, Kama Sutra. Is that Middle Eastern?
00:17:29It just depends on the position. You interested? It's a $10 book. Since we're roomies now,
00:17:34I'll give it to you for eight bucks. Um, maybe later.
00:17:42Well, this must be what a vampire feels like.
00:17:44Uh, what's that? Are you gonna invite me in?
00:17:47Oh, duh. Sorry. Yeah, come on in. Oh, no. Smoking in here, actually.
00:17:51Duh.
00:18:00Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, that's the smoke tea.
00:18:03Jesus Christ. God damn it.
00:18:06Hi. April, you must be Kat.
00:18:08Yeah, that's me. Uh, what you doing in the closet here?
00:18:11This, like, your cam grass spot? Or do you mean me to cost so many for you?
00:18:14I'm just recording a voiceover audition.
00:18:16Yeah, yeah, yeah. Audition, of course. Well, nice setup.
00:18:20Well, uh, I'll let you get back to it. Bright legs and all that.
00:18:23Uh, this is the living room area here.
00:18:32Yes, it's, uh, pretty bare.
00:18:35Yeah, I hung up a picture up in here once, but I'm not sure what happened.
00:18:39This is our self-tape area.
00:18:52Wow, I mean, you guys are really f***ing professional.
00:18:55Yeah. I'd like to think so.
00:19:04Oh, this is, uh, my room.
00:19:08Badass. Jesus was pretty cool.
00:19:12Oh, prophet's manual. I got one, too.
00:19:15And, uh, this is April's room.
00:19:27Oh, f*** no.
00:19:28What? What's wrong?
00:19:29What, you don't feel that?
00:19:30What?
00:19:31Oh, there's a malicious presence in this room.
00:19:34What do you mean?
00:19:35It's a dark energy. I'm really sensitive to the spiritual realm,
00:19:38especially when the veil is sealed in and they know it.
00:19:40I gotta get the f*** out of here.
00:19:45I realize now that it should have seemed suspicious,
00:19:50but the property management seemed legit,
00:19:52and there was obviously nothing wrong about the house.
00:19:55There were drafts and strange electrical issues,
00:19:58but I just didn't believe in ghosts or any of that.
00:20:02Oh, yeah, that b***h was haunted.
00:20:03It was in April's room, so...
00:20:07Oh, hey. I didn't know anyone was here.
00:20:10Yeah, Charlie, this is Kat, the girl taking over Willis' room.
00:20:13I live here, too.
00:20:15Better than Skid Row, right?
00:20:16To-totally.
00:20:17Uh, let's continue the tour.
00:20:22It was nice to meet you.
00:20:23And this is Willis' room, or West Willis' room.
00:20:27It's yours now.
00:20:28Wow, she's basic as f***, huh?
00:20:30Yeah, it's just your typical Oklahoma girl.
00:20:34She moved to L.A. to make it big.
00:20:37She's so brave.
00:20:38I hope God gifts me the courage to go out there someday.
00:20:40It's f***ing that s***, man.
00:20:41All these f***ing white things full of swine flu.
00:20:44It is?
00:20:45Yeah.
00:20:46One day you're pounding the pavement,
00:20:47and you're f***ing pitiful little-ass resume.
00:20:50Then the next, you move into a crackle.
00:20:52There's a ton of homeless teens.
00:20:54You accidentally sit on a used heroin eater,
00:20:56but there's still something in there that f*** you up.
00:20:58And you can't s*** for a long time.
00:21:00Someone steals your vibrators.
00:21:02You can't s***.
00:21:03You can't nut.
00:21:04You can't lay the day job.
00:21:05But finally, you broke a role as a junkie.
00:21:08But the day of, you can't remember how you played it in the audition,
00:21:11because the junkie's worn off,
00:21:12so you make a f***ing fool out of yourself.
00:21:17I'm just playing.
00:21:17All these are tits,
00:21:18as long as you stay out of trouble
00:21:19and keep your dicks out of your mouth.
00:21:20Oh, yeah.
00:21:21I would, um, definitely...
00:21:25Why did you come to Oklahoma?
00:21:28Because L.A.'s f***ing rough, man.
00:21:29Nobody wants to pop your cherry there.
00:21:31They never want to be the first person to catch you,
00:21:33even if you've done a million classes and joined an acting cult for a year.
00:21:36I just figured I'd get some co-stars in a smaller market.
00:21:39Plus, it's f***ing cheap.
00:21:41Yes, well, um, I will let you get unpacked and settled in.
00:21:47We'll have a meeting later just to go over house rules,
00:21:50set some boundaries.
00:21:52Boundaries?
00:21:52What, like a f***ing mall?
00:21:54No.
00:21:55Just, like, personal space things, chores, whatnot, you know.
00:22:00Copy that, sister.
00:22:00Don't live your life.
00:22:03You can open the night.
00:22:05Jesus!
00:22:21Uh, should someone go get Kat?
00:22:24I'll get her.
00:22:30Can I help you?
00:22:40Uh, hey Kat, um, we're about to have a house meeting in the living room.
00:22:43If you care, you can join us.
00:22:44Or, I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to.
00:22:46I just want to help you, too.
00:22:52All right, I'm gonna read off the house rules that we all came up with when we moved in.
00:22:56And if you have anything to add or any questions, just let us know.
00:23:02Rule number one, pay your rent on time.
00:23:04Non-issue.
00:23:05Next.
00:23:05Rule number two, no hard drugs.
00:23:09Rule number three.
00:23:10Oh, wait.
00:23:10We should probably, um, classify what's considered hard drugs before you move on any further, right?
00:23:16Oh, okay.
00:23:17Um, well, no hard drugs.
00:23:20Oh, you know, sometimes I smoke a little weed every now and again, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:27It's a little weed there, Charlie Horse.
00:23:29You know, I just, like, hit my pipe a couple times and then go in my room and watch Netflix.
00:23:33Mm-hmm.
00:23:35That's what's up.
00:23:37But yeah, no hard drugs.
00:23:40So, obviously, we're probably talking about heroin, crack, meth.
00:23:44Sure.
00:23:46Are we also talking about herbal mushrooms, a little psilocybin, a little acid here and there?
00:23:53Well, if you had to keep one of those, what would it be?
00:23:56Acid.
00:23:58No doubt.
00:23:59I don't think we should limit anything that widens our perspectives to new world views,
00:24:04philosophies, and spiritual revelations.
00:24:06Spiritual revelations.
00:24:10Yes, I agree, those are important.
00:24:13Rule number three, knock first and don't go into anyone's room without permission.
00:24:21Charlie, you're not going to...
00:24:21Oh my gosh.
00:24:22Dude.
00:24:23Whoa.
00:24:23Sorry.
00:24:25You're...
00:24:25You're not...
00:24:26No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:24:26It's mine.
00:24:27I know.
00:24:27I want to watch you.
00:24:28What the fuck?
00:24:29I want to watch you right after me.
00:24:30Oh, yeah.
00:24:30Rule number four, shoes off in the house.
00:24:34Rule number five,
00:24:36no significant others moving in.
00:24:37Okay.
00:24:38Okay.
00:24:39Well, my boyfriend Doug came to visit for like a week and that was fine.
00:24:43Right, guys?
00:24:51Rule number six, wash dishes as you go.
00:24:53Oh, it's fine.
00:24:54I don't use dishes.
00:24:56What do you mean you don't use dishes?
00:24:58Well, I just reuse the same cup and fork and then rinse them off when I'm done and put them in a safe place.
00:25:04Or I just eat with my hands, you know?
00:25:06I don't follow along with that societal norm bullshit.
00:25:10There was a time before somebody invented silver I know and people just been complicating shit ever since.
00:25:15Rule number seven, respect silence when people are taping auditions.
00:25:19Yes, that rule.
00:25:20Can't forget that rule.
00:25:22It includes voiceovers.
00:25:24And finally, no parties without explicit permission via group text message.
00:25:29Well, I think this is going to be great.
00:25:35I'm so excited.
00:25:36Me too.
00:25:37I really feel like this is going to be perfect and I really believe in you guys, you know?
00:25:42Not just as roommates, but also as actors.
00:25:44I really feel a successful aura just all over this house.
00:25:49It's like I'm peeking into the Akashic records and I can't tell if it's someone's huge success.
00:25:55You or you or you or if it's all of you kind of having just like
00:25:59C-level success. I can't really tell yet. The reading isn't quite clear. I'm still working at the Kings.
00:26:05Really?
00:26:06Yeah. What, you guys don't feel that? It's everywhere.
00:26:10Well, except for one place.
00:26:16What do you mean?
00:26:22You've got a poltergeist in your room.
00:26:24No, I don't.
00:26:26You're trying to tell me you don't feel anything hinky in there.
00:26:30I don't believe in hinky.
00:26:32She doesn't believe in hinky.
00:26:37Jesus.
00:26:41Once in a moment of hope for, I don't know, some cosmic divinity,
00:26:45I prayed that Andy Kaufman would take over my body, but he never should.
00:26:50And that's why hinky isn't real.
00:26:53Well, ghosts aren't real, except for the Holy Ghost. Your spirit either goes to heaven or hell.
00:26:58I wouldn't say that either. It's just an old house.
00:27:00No, no, no, no. There's definitely some mean old son of a bitch in there,
00:27:04and it definitely ain't no Kaufman.
00:27:06You guys might want to fork over the dough to have some mystic come cleanse that shit out,
00:27:10you know, before all hell breaks loose.
00:27:20Okay, um, maybe what we do is we have a housewarming party.
00:27:30Like, welcome Kat to have, like, a dinner.
00:27:36Yes, you don't have to do that.
00:27:39That's just, you know, too cute.
00:27:43Too cute.
00:27:44Let's just set up once or early.
00:27:47Throw me a party before.
00:27:49Oh, well, that does it. Now we have to.
00:27:54Whatever, I'll let you.
00:27:56Oh, stupid.
00:28:00Well, I'll just, I'm gonna go ahead and unpack it.
00:28:03Uh, I'll, I'll catch you guys later.
00:28:07But P.S., if anybody needs anything, um, I've been in a home invasion before, so
00:28:12I ain't f***ing around, you guys need anything, you just f***ing holler, okay?
00:28:19Just f***ing holler.
00:28:20So what do you guys think?
00:28:33So what do you guys think? Like, 50 red flags, right?
00:28:51What? Oh my god, no. I think she's, I think she's kind of awesome.
00:28:56Well, you don't like her?
00:28:57She thinks my room is haunted. She's insane.
00:29:01I mean, I hear where you're coming from, but, uh, I think we're being a little too judgmental.
00:29:05She just needs a little transition. Uh, she just got here. Now it's her first day.
00:29:11Yeah, I go, I agree.
00:29:13She's new. We should just give it time.
00:29:16Yeah, I second all of that. And also, I think, you know, she's just, just a little different.
00:29:21Come on, she's just kind of f***ing cool.
00:29:25Also, we'd have to replace her in a really short amount of time,
00:29:28because I cannot afford to split her rent right now.
00:29:31True.
00:29:33Whatever.
00:29:35So, you liked this cat at first?
00:29:41Yeah, I did.
00:29:42No, I thought she was a lunatic druggie who just got out of a cult and was gonna kill us all in our sleep.
00:29:47Judge not lest you be judged, right?
00:29:49It's true. I didn't actually bat her very well.
00:29:52So then what happened?
00:29:53Well, from moving on from there, it was just all regular, living as roommates stuff.
00:29:58Just feeling each other out.
00:30:00So Charlie, April, and Beth stifled their suspicions and allowed their new eccentric roommate to
00:30:08reside with them, though keeping an eye out for any broken regulation that might be violated,
00:30:13which would in turn give them an opening to alleviate their discomfort and find a more palatable roommate.
00:30:18For although they considered themselves to be progressive and artsy,
00:30:22they were much more closed up and judgmental than they realized.
00:30:34So, I don't know.
00:30:36Maybe they were getting a plan.
00:30:36Or they considered someone to be completely flat.
00:30:38Or they considered someone to have no clue what they want to do.
00:30:40Or they considered someone to have their own personal connection,
00:30:42but they were able to be able to see them in the past.
00:30:42So, go on and find any questions.
00:30:43Or they are gonna take it?
00:30:44Okay.
00:30:44So, if you're getting to go,
00:30:45then you'll get a few seconds left for a second.
00:30:46Okay, go on and be able to write a full episode of my main character.
00:30:48To be able to read this book and write a bit about,
00:30:48you'll get an audio.
00:30:49Oh, I don't know.
00:30:54I don't know.
00:31:24Hey, you going somewhere?
00:31:27Yeah, why?
00:31:28Just want to make sure you didn't use bathroom at the Bee Gees.
00:31:31Bee Gees?
00:31:32Bubbleguts.
00:31:54Hi.
00:32:03Jesus.
00:32:04What are you doing?
00:32:06Uh, I'm just, you know, I'm just stretching.
00:32:10Cool.
00:32:11Very cool.
00:32:12Um, so I was wondering how you'd feel about, uh, helping me sage April's room.
00:32:23She already knows I'm going to do it.
00:32:25She said it was okay.
00:32:26By the way, I knocked on the door before I came in, but it was already open, so I figured
00:32:30it was cool.
00:32:31Yeah, it's totally cool.
00:32:32You can come in here any time, you know?
00:32:34Like, uh, um, so, like, saging something.
00:32:39I've never, I've never done that before.
00:32:43Uh, it doesn't require experience.
00:32:46You can just fake it till you make it like f***ing or acting.
00:32:50You just, you just do it.
00:32:52It comes to you.
00:32:53Okay.
00:32:54I'm down?
00:32:56Uh, do you just want me to, like, light the sage stick, or...?
00:33:02What I really need you to do is watch my back.
00:33:05I can watch your back?
00:33:06Normally I wouldn't want to tell anybody this, because it's a very vulnerable thing for me.
00:33:10And when you open yourself into your secrets up to strangers, you leave yourself, uh, to
00:33:14the chances they might judge you.
00:33:16Laugh at you, make fun of you, think that b***h is a f***ing awful rocker.
00:33:19She said too much LSD, you know what I'm saying?
00:33:21I know what I'm saying.
00:33:22Yeah.
00:33:23I know what you're saying.
00:33:24I, I don't think you're crazy.
00:33:25I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
00:33:27Maybe a deeper bond between us shall form, you know?
00:33:30Yeah.
00:33:32Yeah.
00:33:33I can tell you my secrets too.
00:33:35We can bond.
00:33:36This is cool.
00:33:37Yeah.
00:33:38I've had night terrors my entire life.
00:33:46And a spirit is trying to possess my body.
00:33:49And sometimes it does get in and speak through my mouth with a different voice until I cast
00:33:53it out.
00:33:54I think they just take advantage of the sensitivity I have to their energies, use me as a vessel.
00:34:01I, I, I really don't know what they want from me.
00:34:03I don't know if it's just to be seen or heard or something nefarious.
00:34:06I have no idea.
00:34:07I just need you there to have my back in case anything bad happens.
00:34:14I can have your back.
00:34:32Yeah, I do feel lighter in here, man.
00:34:36I'm gonna mix one of us.
00:34:37I'm gonna mix one of us.
00:34:38I'm gonna mix one of us.
00:34:39I'm gonna mix one of us.
00:34:41I'm gonna mix it up.
00:34:42I'll mix it up.
00:34:43I'm gonna mix it up.
00:34:44Then we're gonna mix one of us.
00:34:45I'm gonna mix one of us.
00:34:46Daniel has always been a good son, assisting his mother in homeschooling his younger siblings
00:35:07and his father in budgeting, household repairs and enjoying the stand-up comedy of one Jerry
00:35:11Seinfeld. His social experience thus far in life has been limited to his local Mormon chapter in his
00:35:16family. His best friend is Jedediah. Jedediah has had it with his whole life, what he considers to be
00:35:21built on a foundation of lives. The epiphany came upon him one night while studying engineering at
00:35:26BYU. His mind wandered to the process of creation, and as he thought it through more fully than he
00:35:31ever had done before, some biblical claims revealed themselves to be physically and scientifically
00:35:36impossible and therefore silly. He eventually dropped out and moved back home where he is
00:35:40forced by his parents to go on a mission before exceeding the age limit.
00:35:43I think we're in a part of town where, like, you can say howdy to people, and it's not weird,
00:35:47and I think that it'll help them to sort of give a shit. We'll make them trust, no, it'll make us
00:35:51seem more trustworthy.
00:36:00Hi, hello, uh, my name is, uh, Elder Daniel. This is Elder Jedediah. We're with the Church of Jesus
00:36:06Christ of Latter-day Saints. Would you have some time to talk about Jesus?
00:36:09Um, we'll actually...
00:36:10I'll expand itself for Jesus.
00:36:14Okay, thank you. Nice to meet you. Well...
00:36:17You boys want something to drink?
00:36:28Um...
00:36:29We've got coffee, water, bubbly fizzies, beer...
00:36:34I'll take a beer.
00:36:35All right.
00:36:39Peepee house.
00:36:40Thanks, you smoke?
00:36:43Yeah.
00:36:44All right, come with me.
00:36:46Well, hi.
00:36:55It's nice to meet you. My name is...
00:36:57My name is Daniel. I told you already, but...
00:36:59I'm Beth.
00:37:00It's nice to meet you, Beth. That's a very pretty name.
00:37:03Um, do you know about the Book of Mormon?
00:37:05No, but...
00:37:09I do know a lot about the Holy Bible.
00:37:12I like your tie.
00:37:25Oh, yeah.
00:37:27Thanks.
00:37:28What's your success rate on this whole door-to-door thing?
00:37:31The only weirdos and the only people answer their door to strangers anymore, so...
00:37:36Yeah.
00:37:37Ain't that the f***ing truth.
00:37:39It's probably for the best, though.
00:37:41If I start my own club, do you want to join?
00:37:43What would we do with it?
00:37:45You ever heard of Sheila Essie?
00:37:47No.
00:37:48Basically, we'd compile a list of all the things we like from other cults and religions,
00:37:52put them under the umbrella of one name, collect offerings, and avoid taxes.
00:37:56You ever tried LSD?
00:38:00Well, obviously, but, uh...
00:38:02It's LDS, actually.
00:38:04Oh, that's what's up.
00:38:06Baptism?
00:38:07Yeah, we do that.
00:38:09Do you guys have Jesus, or is it just Mary over there?
00:38:11Oh, we have both.
00:38:12Uh, prayer.
00:38:13Yeah.
00:38:14Yeah.
00:38:15Oh, Joseph Smith.
00:38:17Drink.
00:38:20Prophets.
00:38:21Yes.
00:38:22Oh, apostles.
00:38:23Mm-hmm.
00:38:26Don't you guys believe in polygamy?
00:38:28Not anymore.
00:38:30Celibacy before marriage?
00:38:35Yeah, we have that.
00:38:36Uh, so, are you in school, or do you go to work or anything?
00:38:39I'm an actor for Jesus.
00:38:40You know, I always thought that if I became a bishop or something, that I would like to
00:38:45put jokes in my sermons, you know?
00:38:46Get the crowd sort of off guard, and then just hit them with a gut punch, you know?
00:38:50Nice.
00:38:51Yeah.
00:38:52Can I hear one?
00:38:53You sh- I- I probably- I don't know if I sh-
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02Uh, I- yeah, I've got one.
00:39:03Um, why don't- why don't the Lamanites like Muay Thai?
00:39:09Why?
00:39:10Uh, because they can't stand me fights.
00:39:13Ow!
00:39:14Oh my god.
00:39:15Are you okay?
00:39:16Are you okay?
00:39:17I'm sorry, I shouldn't use my best joke.
00:39:18Aren't you supposed to keep an arm's length distance away from any women on your mission?
00:39:23You know, um, I should probably let you know before we go any further, you know, I don't
00:39:28want to lead you on or anything, but I am very devout about LDS, and therefore, unconvertible.
00:39:34How devout?
00:39:37Extremely devout.
00:39:39Oh my god.
00:39:54Uh-uh-uh.
00:39:56Show me your boobies first, come on.
00:40:00No, baby wants to see your pee-pee first.
00:40:03No, show me your boobies first.
00:40:05Just a day.
00:40:07What the f**k is going on?
00:40:20Did you write your own Bible verses?
00:40:22I wouldn't call them Bible verses.
00:40:24No, this just kind of reads like Psalms.
00:40:28Maybe, uh, Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila.
00:40:32Sainthood.
00:40:33Daniel, would you like to pray with me?
00:40:50Jed, we have to go now.
00:40:56Go.
00:40:57Get your bike.
00:40:58Please get your bike.
00:40:59It's right here.
00:41:00It's right here.
00:41:01Right here.
00:41:02What's going on, man?
00:41:03We have to go.
00:41:04We were not prepared for this.
00:41:05We have to go gird ourselves a little better before we could come back here.
00:41:07We didn't plan on.
00:41:08See you at my party Friday.
00:41:10See ya.
00:41:11Okay.
00:41:12Well, perfect.
00:41:13We can come back.
00:41:14We can talk to him then.
00:41:16What happened with you two?
00:41:21Hi.
00:41:22Are you staying in room 7-2?
00:41:24Stupid.
00:41:27Hey, Chicken Little, whatcha doing?
00:41:36Hey, um, just, uh, writing my memoirs.
00:41:40Nice.
00:41:42Uh, do you think you could do me a little teeny tiny one-week-old fetish-sized fight?
00:41:50Yeah, whatever you want.
00:41:52I think we could smoke some of that flower in your home.
00:41:57Do you do photography?
00:41:59Uh, nah.
00:42:00These are good.
00:42:02Nah.
00:42:03I'm thinking of moving to L.A.
00:42:06Ew, why?
00:42:07Look at you.
00:42:08You look so cute.
00:42:09I'm not cute.
00:42:10I'm sexy.
00:42:11You're great.
00:42:12Nobody's gonna cast me here looking like this bullshit.
00:42:17Like, people want blonde, big boobs, especially for those Lifetime movies.
00:42:24It's all we get here.
00:42:25Yeah, nobody knows who they are when they're 16 anyways.
00:42:29When do you know who you are?
00:42:30I don't know.
00:42:31When you decide to stop giving a f*** and just do whatever you want?
00:42:35You know, stay true to yourself?
00:42:37Yeah, my parents pay my bills, so I can't really do that.
00:42:41Well, that's your problem.
00:42:43You shouldn't let anybody hold financial power over you, man.
00:42:47When was the last time you dated a girl?
00:42:49I haven't.
00:42:50You just do your own thing.
00:42:52That's probably why you're not getting cast.
00:42:53You're looking for approval instead of approving yourself.
00:42:55Well, because you're parents?
00:42:57No, it's just because it's really hard to find, um, gay girls in Oklahoma.
00:43:01But are you a virgin?
00:43:03I, um, I have had sex with a girl once.
00:43:07As soon as you start doing whatever the f*** you wanna do, be creative, the better.
00:43:13Someday, my princess is gonna come, but when that day happens, I'm gonna f***ing straight tap that shit for a whole week.
00:43:21Cause man, right now I'm about to blow, dude.
00:43:25Hey, can I paint you?
00:43:28What?
00:43:29Can I paint you?
00:43:31Like, paint on, like a canvas? Like, me?
00:45:08Fuck.
00:45:38Creating a resentment in April for fake people, tuning her radar for bullshit, and ingraining
00:45:43a deep-seated skepticism for all things.
00:45:45She studied communications in college for lack of a better direction, but when a friend
00:45:49invited her to an improv class, April finally found the childhood play outlet she'd been
00:45:54longing for.
00:45:55So what are you auditioning for?
00:45:57I'm auditioning for jade and funky gold black tower heroin.
00:46:01Cool.
00:46:03Me too.
00:46:05Oh.
00:46:06I think that makes you uncomfortable.
00:46:07I can just see if Charlie or Beth can push for shit around.
00:46:11No.
00:46:11No.
00:46:12It's fine.
00:46:12I mean, we're all adults here.
00:46:14No need for competition.
00:46:17And there'll probably be such different takes.
00:46:18Yeah.
00:46:19It's all right.
00:46:21Okay.
00:46:25And...
00:46:26Take your time.
00:46:30What are you looking at, you f***ing bitch?
00:46:36You want to lick this pussy?
00:46:39Wait, uh, can we start over?
00:46:42Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:46:45And we're rolling again.
00:46:49What are you looking at, you f***ing bitch?
00:46:52You want to...
00:46:53Pussy?
00:46:54Can we maybe just start from the second scene first?
00:46:58Who are you?
00:46:59What do you mean?
00:47:00I mean, like, what's your character backstory?
00:47:03Well, there wasn't much in the breakdown, so I just assumed that she was a girl from a
00:47:07broken home.
00:47:08Drugs.
00:47:09Daddy issues.
00:47:11She was probably raped at 13 and never got the help that she needed, so she went down
00:47:15this path of self-destruction.
00:47:16She never really knew who she was, so that's what brought her to today with Rudy and Vance,
00:47:22why she's about to cut them for this heroine while she'll OD in the last scene.
00:47:25You've created too much separation between yourself and the character.
00:47:29You said she'll OD.
00:47:31She, she, she.
00:47:33Not I.
00:47:34I just don't want too many voices in my head.
00:47:36I think this character's a lot more close to the real you than you think.
00:47:41Like, this character is you.
00:47:43It's under a little bit different circumstances, right?
00:47:47I don't know.
00:47:47Are you close with your family?
00:47:50I don't know.
00:47:50What do you mean?
00:47:51I mean, I'm close with my mom.
00:47:52She is my best friend.
00:47:55You mean you're her babysitter?
00:47:56Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
00:47:59And, uh, what about this thug?
00:48:02Does he satisfy you?
00:48:03I'm just a piece of you that's been long left neglected.
00:48:07What does this have to do with my character?
00:48:08Jade is April Anderson had a really hot and cool boyfriend named Rod when you were 18 and he was 25 and you want to impress him so bad?
00:48:31Because you really do have tattie issues.
00:48:34I do?
00:48:36I do.
00:48:37Yeah.
00:48:38And because you had no one there for you in your life when you were sad and lonely because you tried to tell your mommy, right?
00:48:47You tried to tell her.
00:48:48Well, what did she do?
00:48:49She just walked away.
00:48:50So then what did you do?
00:48:51You tried to make up for the relationships in your life with men like Rod, mixing the heroin and the heroin will never let you down, right?
00:48:59Not like mommy, not like daddy, not like Rod.
00:49:03These motherfuckers right here are trying to take away the only thing that helps you drop out.
00:49:08The only thing that doesn't fucking let you down.
00:49:20I'm beginning.
00:49:23What are you looking at, you fucking bitch?
00:49:26You want to lick this pussy?
00:49:28You want to suck on this tiny puckered up butthole?
00:49:31Well, fuck you.
00:49:33Fuck all of you.
00:49:35H is my family now.
00:49:37H is my home.
00:49:39So give me that fucking little baggie before I cut all of you motherfuckers.
00:49:44And walk out of me like I never knew you.
00:49:51I think we got that one.
00:49:53Yeah.
00:49:57So you said find an outlet, right?
00:49:59This is my dance.
00:50:00I want to show it to you.
00:50:07This is a manifestation of my inner turmoil.
00:50:09Lights.
00:50:10Lights.
00:50:11Point.
00:50:33Lights.
00:50:34In that moment, Kat, aka Pamela Lewis, thought about what it would have been like to have
00:50:50real parents and healthy mentors growing up, like what she was for Charlie.
00:50:54But in the ghettos of Oklahoma, where oil and Jesus reign supreme over education and
00:50:58health care just didn't work out that way.
00:51:00Her teachers didn't get paid enough to make a living, hated their jobs, stressed about
00:51:04money, their own lost potential, never made enough to get out, take it out on students,
00:51:08eyeballing you, trying to catch you slipping, talk down to you like you're stupid, making
00:51:12you give up, making you stupid, no vocabulary to articulate yourself, who can learn from
00:51:17somebody who's got it out for you, metal detectors, drug dogs, kids in gangs, drunk and high, try
00:51:22to blend in, slide by, no money to get out, take a puff and a swig and try to escape the
00:51:27fact that you're f***ed by the system, find a mentor, they give you knowledge in exchange
00:51:31for sex, look for God, nobody's there but crooks, they want your last dime, say it's
00:51:36for God, their God, the right God, no chance, see behind the curtain enough and you can make
00:51:41your own racket.
00:51:42Dear Jesus, I hope I make you proud, please let this party be really fun and help me be
00:51:50better friends with my roommates, please let Daniel be there and help me book a life-changing
00:51:57role, only if it's your will of course, I just want to live a life that's pleasing to
00:52:04you.
00:52:06You want to live a life that's pleasing to you?
00:52:08Yes, Father, more than anything.
00:52:13Father, what would you like me to do?
00:52:15No.
00:52:20Father, are you there?
00:52:26Please be there.
00:52:28I don't want to be alone anymore.
00:52:32Nobody loves me.
00:52:40Please be there.
00:52:45Leave her.
00:52:47Police are under.
00:52:54давr, don't want to.
00:52:56Have a lot of, have a lot of.
00:53:05Yes.
00:53:07Yes.
00:53:08Yes.
00:53:09Yes.
00:53:10Yes.
00:53:11Yes.
00:53:11Yes.
00:54:43You don't know what you're talking about, okay?
00:54:45Neither did Joseph Smith.
00:54:47He's a rambler, man.
00:54:48Just like Hank Williams.
00:54:50Just like Pop Dylan.
00:54:52Just like every hobo from here to Hoboken.
00:54:54I think you're aware of him, Randy, right now.
00:54:58I'm going to do it.
00:54:59Maybe I'll find a way to get rich off of it.
00:55:02Turn me into a rock star and I'll march like Jesus, you know?
00:55:06Go with this Jesus dick.
00:55:07I don't need that.
00:55:08Please just let me get through my spiel, huh?
00:55:11It's the here spiel, baby.
00:55:12It's the here spiel.
00:55:13Oh, no.
00:55:17I think we're okay.
00:55:18Oh, Jehovah.
00:55:19Yeah.
00:55:20Well, I mean, not really.
00:55:21We're Mormons.
00:55:22It's different.
00:55:23A lot of people make that mistake, actually.
00:55:25Hello?
00:55:25So, do you boys slip in Del City?
00:55:31Yep.
00:55:31Old Del.
00:55:32Del shitty.
00:55:34Kat, you're coming from here, right?
00:55:36Yeah.
00:55:37Left a few years back.
00:55:41Did you leave for acting?
00:55:43No, I left to find more open-minded people.
00:55:47Did you find me?
00:55:49I found that the open-minded can also be the small-minded.
00:55:52Then I found spirituality and took a real deep dive.
00:55:55I was actually pretty sold for a while.
00:55:58Until I realized it was all a crock of shit and I should probably just find an angle.
00:56:02Interesting.
00:56:03So, what is your angle?
00:56:06If you can't beat them, join them.
00:56:07Then beat them at their own game.
00:56:10Who do you need to beat?
00:56:12The world.
00:56:13Yes, the world is full of sin.
00:56:15You know, you might want to think about changing up your look.
00:56:18Dan, you want to convert.
00:56:19He's right.
00:56:19If you want to join him, you got to blend in.
00:56:22A mask of sanity in order to convert the masses.
00:56:25Believe me, I'm working on a rebranding of sorts.
00:56:27Well, I like to think that it's important to have a tradition in God, you know?
00:56:31Without God, there would be anarchy.
00:56:33Or just science.
00:56:34People need a moral compass.
00:56:36You know, like Jesus Christ.
00:56:38Yes.
00:56:38Jesus' example helps to save us from ourselves and our sinful natures.
00:56:42Yeah, but like there's also, you know, people that just want to be good people.
00:56:48You know, the Bible can be used to sway people to agendas, you know?
00:56:52But not the Book of Mormon.
00:56:54Ho there, brother.
00:56:55You're talking nonsense now.
00:56:57I once met a spirit in the Black Hills who said all the things we devote our time to, whether
00:57:01it be religion, spirituality, or just eating yourselves to death, or just time sucking rabbit
00:57:06holes.
00:57:06And then all the life will go on, no matter what you devote your time to.
00:57:10We're all going to be dust anyways.
00:57:11Yeah, I mean, you know, when life began on the star planet Kolob...
00:57:16Kolob, Daniel, you are so funny.
00:57:21Yep, that's Daniel.
00:57:23He says some pretty wild things to get her eyes out of people sometimes, don't you?
00:57:29Well, that's fancy.
00:57:33I was your Scientology parting gift.
00:57:36I felt that I was deserving of a seventh package of sorts.
00:57:39The blood is in here, you've got to...
00:57:41Yes, master, dear.
00:57:43From grapes that have burst forth of their mother's womb at the very edge of angst and
00:57:47frustration, to live a new kind of existence, forgoing death as wasted fruits on the vine,
00:57:55bled out slowly from pure skin like a slaughtered lamb, grown from fields of lovers and orgies,
00:58:01death and doom, cries out to be drunk until its final drop, has returned to a new womb, a
00:58:07new seed to begin again.
00:58:09It always finds a way.
00:58:10Drink me at your own risk.
00:58:11For this night, I will reap what they sow to the last drop.
00:58:16Ba-da-da-da-da.
00:58:18Drink responsibly.
00:58:20Well, cheers!
00:58:21To Cap.
00:58:23And her new home.
00:58:25And to love and confidence.
00:58:27To Doug.
00:58:29To my career.
00:58:30And cosmic hope.
00:58:31To the blood of the land.
00:58:42And to God's will.
00:58:44To spiritual revelations.
00:58:45White!
00:58:55White!
00:58:58To drama for story is supreme.
00:59:00No one's forcing you to do anything.
00:59:04You forced me.
00:59:06You forced me to think about things.
00:59:08And now I'm ruined.
00:59:09What didn't you want to think about?
00:59:11My life.
00:59:12The world.
00:59:13The truth.
00:59:15Because without it, what?
00:59:17You've got to find something new to believe in.
00:59:18Is that it?
00:59:19No, without it, I've wasted my whole life.
00:59:22I don't have other stuff.
00:59:23You have other stuff.
00:59:24I don't have other stuff.
00:59:25I've spent 22 years only on this.
00:59:27And without this, I'm nothing.
00:59:28Without this, I'm a fraud like these people.
00:59:31Speak for yourself.
00:59:32I never pretended to believe in anything.
00:59:34You're the biggest fraud of all.
00:59:35Your whole job is pretending.
00:59:37Relax, Daniel.
00:59:38I can't just relax.
00:59:39I'm not like you.
00:59:40I can't just relax when I know that there's nothing.
00:59:43When I know that there's nothing.
00:59:45I know you guys are right.
00:59:46I know the world doesn't mean anything.
00:59:48And that we're all going to die.
00:59:50And that none of what we do here matters.
00:59:52I know that.
01:00:00Be still, Daniel.
01:00:01I'd like to apologize to all of you for ruining your evening.
01:00:24Daniel.
01:00:29Well, should we play a game?
01:00:30Come on, you dance for me.
01:00:53Come on, you dance for me.
01:00:54I don't need your shots.
01:00:55I don't need your shots.
01:00:56You smell like a 40-year-old man.
01:00:58You smell like a 40-year-old man.
01:01:12All right, Jen.
01:01:17Let's see it.
01:01:19Careful.
01:01:21Alright.
01:01:35We have charades.
01:01:37We... remember when we got...
01:01:39It's like a kids game.
01:01:41What? No, it's fun for every... everyone.
01:01:45Okay, go for it.
01:01:47You ready?
01:01:49Okay, I missed a good one.
01:01:51Here.
01:01:53Occupation. Here.
01:01:57Two words. Second word.
01:01:59Can't we at least play some music in the background,
01:02:01or are we just gonna sit here staring at each other?
01:02:05Driving? Drive.
01:02:07Driver. It's not an occupation.
01:02:09It's a movie.
01:02:11What? It's a movie.
01:02:13You've never seen Taxi Driver?
01:02:15What do you mean?
01:02:17You're an actor.
01:02:19I don't understand actors that don't watch movies.
01:02:21I... I love movies.
01:02:23Then watch them.
01:02:25I don't know why I'm being such a dick right now.
01:02:29I'm not being a dick. I'm just being honest.
01:02:31God, that's the problem with Midwestern people.
01:02:33They can't take criticism.
01:02:35That's why you guys never advance.
01:02:37Y'all are all just sitting around letting each other suck.
01:02:39I don't suck. You're just drunk.
01:02:41Well...
01:02:45No mentor is perfect.
01:02:47Mentor?
01:02:49Oh, yeah. Why'd you think I was your girlfriend?
01:02:53No.
01:02:55Charlie, don't be like that.
01:02:57Dude, you gotta let your skin toughen up.
01:03:03You don't care about what people think about you?
01:03:05I don't have to pray for some comedian to come take over my body.
01:03:09Loser.
01:03:22Where does this stuff come from?
01:03:24I just sort of feel it and free-write what comes to me.
01:03:34You just feel it?
01:03:36Is that what everyone does?
01:03:37They just feel it and then they write it down
01:03:39and then someone else decides that it's true
01:03:41and that's how we all got here?
01:03:43Maybe. Does it matter?
01:03:45Does it matter?
01:03:47I'm sorry.
01:03:48If it makes you a better person, does it matter?
01:03:51I don't know. I'm really confused. I'm doing really bad.
01:03:54I shouldn't have drank that wine. I'm a real piece of turd.
01:03:57Jesus drank wine.
01:03:58That doesn't make it right.
01:04:00They give it away at communion.
01:04:02Is that like sacrament?
01:04:10Open your mouth.
01:04:11What?
01:04:12I'm gonna show you how we take communion.
01:04:14Okay.
01:04:16Okay.
01:04:40I feel like you've done this before.
01:04:42Maybe I'm just a natural.
01:04:47To the blood.
01:04:52To the blood.
01:04:54To the blood.
01:04:59Okay.
01:05:00I hate.
01:05:10I'm not doing that.
01:05:12Why not?
01:05:13Because I hate that guy.
01:05:14Why?
01:05:17Because he's a two-bit hack that steals jokes.
01:05:19That's why.
01:05:20I'm gonna go call Doug.
01:05:27I've got all the shit I gotta do tomorrow.
01:05:31Good night.
01:05:35Who doesn't like no hamburger?
01:05:42You know what?
01:05:43Let's just go drink for drink with the accent game.
01:05:45What's the accent game?
01:05:46What's the accent game?
01:05:47What's the accent game?
01:05:58Stupid.
01:05:59Fat.
01:06:02Half-girl.
01:06:03Hiss.
01:06:06Ugh
01:06:10I don't give a fuck.
01:06:14I don't give a fuck.
01:06:16I don't give a fuck what you say.
01:06:21What's it like to walk into a room dick first?
01:06:25God, you have such a way with words you know that?
01:06:28Do I?
01:06:29with words. You know that? Do I? Yeah. I mean, the things you say, they're like brilliant little
01:06:39treasure nuggets that, I don't know, they just make you seem like somebody special. Like Jesus?
01:06:49Or Manson. I haven't really figured it out yet. Well, the only thing that separates the prophet
01:06:55from a madman, that one can hold it together better in public. So, you don't believe in
01:07:04any religion? Is that possible if you believe in poltergeist? I don't know. Maybe if there's
01:07:14a god. I mean, if. I think it's probably more like a god is energy, quantum god kind of thing.
01:07:22More than any of that, I believe in myself. I believe in you, too. I'm serious. I have
01:07:36this repetitive dream where I'm leading masses of people to safety in the zombie apocalypse.
01:07:42It's not always a zombie apocalypse. Sometimes it's vampires or Nazis or pedophiles. Or just
01:07:58monsters. I teach them how to escape and then I show them how to defend themselves. Masses
01:08:09masses of people. I think it's my destiny.
01:08:17Well, I'd follow you to safety. Would you?
01:08:22I'd follow you anywhere. I guess pretty soon you'll be excommunicated.
01:08:29Yeah. But also because you sound like a Pied Piper.
01:08:39I just need to book it for myself, you know?
01:08:52Come on, baby. Maybe you just need to book it for myself, you know?
01:08:57Come on, baby. Maybe you just dodged a huge bullet and you don't even know it.
01:09:11I just can't f***ing believe Kat got the part.
01:09:17Bitch. She sabotaged me. Do you know how that feels? To be manipulated by someone you trusted?
01:09:28I let her get in my head now. I keep hearing her voice. I don't... I don't know who I am anymore.
01:09:34You know, he'll always be my superstar.
01:10:04I don't know who I am.
01:10:09That's what I really need to say.
01:10:18But still, I'm waiting to be her for you.
01:10:20Yes, ma'am.
01:10:21I don't know who I am.
01:10:22I don't know who I am.
01:10:23The only thing is that she's not here.
01:10:24You know, she's been trying to live in the world.
01:10:25You know, she's got you in the world.
01:10:26You know, she's been going in the world.
01:10:27And it's my thing.
01:10:27It's me.
01:10:30She's been trying to live in the world.
01:10:32She's been doing what you really need.
01:10:33really you're gonna take my virginity and just sneak out um okay uh first of all i don't think
01:10:43it's really fair for you to say that i took your virginity if anything you threw it at me and i
01:10:47just sort of caught it so if anybody took anything from anybody it's you taking it from me and also
01:10:52second of all yes i'm sneaking out i don't know what to do we weren't trained for this um so i
01:10:57was gonna sneak out but now i'm just regular leaving which i apologize about oh god also this
01:11:01isn't me converted to catholicism i i don't know how you guys count that but please don't count me
01:11:06nobody thought you were but fine that's actually a huge relief should should i leave money what i
01:11:13don't know for offering or damages oh my god yeah yeah yep yep okay yep i appreciate it great night
01:11:20it was nice to meet you
01:11:31she's gotta go she's up yeah she sabotaged my audition so she could book my role yeah well
01:11:56she took a shit in my underwear and she also did some really sexual things with me with
01:12:04paint and weed and linseed oil and i don't even know what happened and there's no fucking way she
01:12:09doesn't use dishes she's possessed by a demon what she brought a demon into this house and said it
01:12:15was a ghost that was already here but it's not it's her and she's been turning us into heathens
01:12:22yeah okay but what should we do do we kick her out yeah i can't but if you want to do it
01:12:27an exorcism that's what we need to do
01:12:30man okay
01:12:32okay
01:12:35by the powers of our lord jesus christ may you be snatched away most cunning serpents
01:12:50our most high god commands you he with whom in all of your influence you still claim to be equal
01:12:58wait is this a scene are you guys filming right now god the father commands you god the son commands
01:13:06you the holy ghost commands you oh good job bet it's not a scene i'm trying to rid you of your
01:13:12demons oh not even christ himself could do that nice try to fix you asshole why am i an asshole
01:13:20you sabotaged my audition i thought you were gay
01:13:23you turned us all to sin the sacred sign of the cross commands you the blood of the martyrs
01:13:31and the intercession of all the saints commands you thus cursed dragon and you diabolical legions
01:13:41be gone satan
01:13:44come on buddy
01:14:07come on
01:14:14wait a second this really happened which part basically everything after the party
01:14:25i'm not proud of it but you all tied up one of your roommates after a party because one of you
01:14:34suggested she might be possessed are you shaming me i'm just trying to wrap my head around all this
01:14:40and get it straight so your other roommate the redheaded april she was actually possessed by a demon
01:14:49well not actually a demon i mean just just let me finish good dog
01:14:52what you never heard of me
01:15:03yeah i know
01:15:05san francisco yeah this is my favorite spot in the bay area it's been my favorite spot since the 1980s that's how long i've been touring the circuit
01:15:14huh who doesn't like a good fish joe who doesn't like a good fish joe who doesn't like a good fish joe
01:15:18two fish in a tank one fish says to the other hey how do you drive this thing shark eats a clownfish hey it tastes kind of funny
01:15:24speaking of funny you know where fish keep their money in a riverbank shark's favorite movie
01:15:28shark shank say i'm trying to get in touch with a fish why don't you drop him a line how about a fish with a tie very sophisticated
01:15:36you know fish swim in salt water because the pepper makes them sneeze hey what's going on with that shellfish over there i don't know somebody call the clamulance please
01:15:43fish walks into a bar bartender says what can i get you the fish says water i need water easiest way to catch a fish have your buddy throw one to you
01:15:53say anybody in the audience have you got a fish sandwich fish sandwich fish sandwich you guys got a fish sandwich i can do a mean party trick this broad knows what i'm talking about hey nice set of pearls
01:16:02it's a fish thing
01:16:04this is weird
01:16:05so after the poltergeist mario was done with his set all of the roommates were in such a state of shock they had no response
01:16:14hadn't seen this one before
01:16:15they treated their possession as though it was normal living his roommate's stuff
01:16:19and then we just started living with mario's sort of fifth roommate that just happened to share a room with vapo from then on
01:16:25oh i got along great with mario he also came from a straight catholic upbringing
01:16:29so
01:16:38so
01:16:39so
01:16:40so
01:16:41so
01:16:42so
01:16:45so
01:16:49I don't know if I'd say Mario is my best friend.
01:17:07I think that honor still goes to Jed just because of our history, but I've definitely
01:17:12never connected with anyone like I've connected with Mario.
01:17:15I mean, we talk about comedy all the time.
01:17:17He's shown me a lot of stuff from when he was alive that I never would have seen.
01:17:21He's really helped me sort of hone my voice in a way that I don't think I would have done
01:17:25without him.
01:17:26So, what about your roommate, Kat?
01:17:30Well, I guess, you know, Mario kind of took all the attention in the house after that.
01:17:34He was just such a character, and then Kat kind of fell through the cracks, which she
01:17:39was okay with, I mean, especially after the exorcism, and she just kept saying she was
01:17:43writing a manifesto.
01:17:45And then a month later, she was just gone.
01:17:51Hi!
01:17:52You're welcome.
01:17:53Um, I made it.
01:17:54What a drive.
01:17:55Oh!
01:17:56I am Kat Carol.
01:17:57Willa, I talked to her on Facebook, and she's letting me sublease her room while she's out of town.
01:18:03I already paid for the last few months, but it took me a while to get here because I ended
01:18:08up booking this gig in L.A. playing a heroin addict.
01:18:10So, we had to shoot for a while, but I'm here now.
01:18:13Willa said you all would be expecting me?
01:18:15I like your flowers on your face.
01:18:16Thanks!
01:18:17Your room's this way.
01:18:18So, how do you feel now?
01:18:19So, how do you feel now?
01:18:20Um, I think it took me a while.
01:18:21It took me a while to get here because I ended up booking this gig in L.A. playing a heroin
01:18:24addict.
01:18:25So, how do you feel now?
01:18:26Um, I've been completely out of my body ever since.
01:18:27Uh, I've been talking to my parents about going to a cinema.
01:18:28Uh, I've been talking to my parents about going to a cinema.
01:18:29Um, I've had to shoot for a while, but I'm here now.
01:18:30Willa said you all would be expecting me?
01:18:31I like your flowers on your face.
01:18:32Thanks!
01:18:33Your room's this way.
01:18:46So, how do you feel now?
01:18:47Um, I've been completely out of my body ever since.
01:18:51Uh, I've been talking to my parents about going to a cinema.
01:18:54You know, going to a center or a facility to get some professional help.
01:18:58It's just a little...
01:19:01I feel surprisingly at peace about the whole thing.
01:19:08Do you believe in Patricia Lewis even after she conned you?
01:19:12Like I said, it was like a brothel.
01:19:15Acting was like prostitution.
01:19:17A woman just putting themselves out there, giving themselves away for just a taste.
01:19:21And Jesus loved prostitutes, you know why?
01:19:23Because they don't let persecution and judges get in the way of doing the Lord's work.
01:19:28It's a real attitude.
01:19:30David Lynch, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, that guy from the Aviator.
01:19:35The what?
01:19:37Goddammit.
01:19:38All I'm saying is the sooner you start doing whatever the f*** you want and stop worrying about everybody else, the better.
01:19:43Don't talk to strangers, they'll get you while you're down.
01:20:02Follow your instincts, just let it all hang out.
01:20:14Although you hold his hand, your mother won't abide.
01:20:21He'll help you like a stone for 1,500 miles.
01:20:30It's gonna be alright.
01:20:34It's gonna be alright.
01:20:39Don't talk to strangers, they'll take it all away.
01:20:46Come to your senses, step out of the rain.
01:20:54Go to your senses, take it all away.
01:21:15It's going to be all right
01:21:31It's going to be all right
01:21:36Don't talk to strangers
01:21:45Don't talk to strangers
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