- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year in a secret conclave
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful
00:49And now I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon
01:00Bree Thomas L
01:02Jack Anset
01:04Jackie VanVeet
01:06And Pax Asadi
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane
01:15Except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool
01:18Who is asked to move to the slow lane
01:21It's Paul Williams
01:25Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem
01:28Would that be okay?
01:29Yeah, absolutely
01:39It's really beautiful
01:42Should we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy
01:45Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap
01:50Pax Asadi
01:52What did you bring in?
01:53I'm just going to show you
01:56Oh
01:57Chock thins
01:58They snap on multiple levels
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap
02:02And they make a very satisfying noise when they snap
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy
02:15How long has the packet been open?
02:17That has been in my cupboard for a while
02:20I don't think it would be a snap
02:22No, it wouldn't
02:23No, no, no, no, no
02:24That has been opened recently
02:25Oh, so now you know when it was opened
02:26Yeah
02:28Alice, what did you bring in?
02:29Physical things to snap are exciting
02:31But there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap
02:36And as a child what I discovered is that the ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:43Is bar none the best experience
02:46So I've brought in my sister
02:50Beautiful
02:51Yeah, she doesn't look it but she's a real bitch
02:55Just so you understand the prize task
02:56Yep
02:57Your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode
03:00Yeah, not only is she going home with someone tonight
03:03But I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities
03:08Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down I'm a country girl at heart
03:12Through and through
03:14Which is why I know the best thing to snap is this
03:19Oh!
03:21Wow!
03:23Wow!
03:24Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:29We crack a whip
03:30We definitely crack it
03:32Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap
03:36A break, suddenly and completely, typically with a sharp cracking sound
03:42Not bad
03:44Not bad
03:45Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:46I realised that by episode six
03:48Everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy and kind of mean-spirited
03:52So I have chosen
03:56It's a snap and heat hand warmer that gives you a feeling of warmth that goes from your palm up your arm
04:03Across kind of here down around your left breast into your heart
04:07And just makes you think I'm so lucky to be here with you guys
04:10And not snapping at each other and just feeling like I snapped that but now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart
04:15I feel that
04:16And what does it do to your breast?
04:18Okay, yeah
04:19Can I just say one last word? I just want to give one last, one last word
04:23One word
04:25Positivity
04:27That was the best ending you've had so far, I've got to say
04:31At least it ended
04:32Thank you Jeremy
04:33Jack, what did you bring in?
04:34I think the best thing to snap is, um, these guys
04:39Um, so, um, using a $250 disguise
04:43Um, I snapped photos of all of these guys without them realising
04:49Here is me, um, next to Alice coming back from the airport
04:55I will not sign a release
04:59Um, here is me at Pax's comedy show
05:03You, did you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember looking at you thinking
05:08Guy looks weird
05:11Here is, um, me seeing Jackie on a walk with her husband up Mount Eden
05:15Oh!
05:17And I said to him after we passed you, I was like, whoa
05:21And Jessie was like, what?
05:22And I said, the dude with the beard
05:25The next, um, photo is, um, outside Bree's radio station
05:29Um
05:31How creepy is that guy?
05:34Wow
05:36This is gonna be easy
05:37Pax, one, cause you just bought a pack of biscuits in
05:40Yeah, I knew it
05:41Jackie, two, because you swung by Costco again on the way here
05:45Three, four, Alice, I understand what that's like to make a sibling snap
05:49That's quite a good feeling
05:51Brie, cracking the whip, that's quite sexy
05:53I'll give you four
05:54And five for Jack, cause that's very good
05:58Oh, feels good
06:00Feels good, yeah
06:01Okay, I really am ready for another task
06:03What have we got?
06:04Ding dong, did anyone order a task?
06:06Well, here you go
06:07Hello
06:15Hi Paul
06:16Hello Jackie
06:17Great to see you again
06:18Hi Paul
06:19Oh my god, Paul
06:20Hey
06:21Hey Paul
06:22Oh, lunch
06:23You shouldn't have
06:24Sorry
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan
06:28Easy
06:29Fastest wins
06:30No problem
06:31You may not throw or disrespect the burger
06:35Disrespect the burger?
06:37Don't ask, that's disrespecting the burger
06:39I'm so sorry
06:40Every time you wish to take a step with the burger
06:42You must first complete one of the 50 steps on Paul's scroll
06:47What scroll?
06:49Oh, that scroll
06:50You may choose which numbered step from the scroll you wish to complete
06:54You may not look at Paul's scroll
06:56Don't look at it
06:57Oh, so I can't even look at it like there?
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't
07:00Your time starts now
07:07Alright, who's leading the charge with this one, Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first, it's Bree and Alice
07:12Number eight
07:13Spin around five times without falling over
07:15Thirteen
07:16Do heads, shoulders, knees and toes
07:19Oh shit, Paul
07:20I do the song wrong
07:22Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
07:24We all clap hands together
07:29Was that two steps?
07:31That was one
07:32You stepped with that foot and then you stepped with that foot
07:34I don't believe that to be true
07:35Number six
07:36Say your name backwards
07:37Eerie
07:38Number twelve
07:39Touch two things that rhyme
07:41Red head
07:42Number one
07:43Smile
07:45Fifteen
07:46Balance something on your finger while reciting a nursery rhyme
07:49Mary had a little lamb a sleet was white as snow
07:52Wow
07:53Seven
07:54Recreate a famous painting using only your body
07:58Twenty-two
07:59Draw yourself riding your favourite animal
08:02Huge pig
08:04Number two, please
08:05Whisper your middle name ten times
08:07Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
08:09Thirty-four
08:10Bury an item and give it a moving eulogy
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen
08:15Hey
08:16Touch two things that rhyme
08:19Badge
08:21Forty
08:22Balance four stones on top of each other
08:25What?
08:28Okay
08:30It's balanced
08:31Hold on, I haven't even moved the burger once
08:33Yeah
08:34What?
08:37Two
08:38Sing your favourite vegetable
08:39Asparagus
08:42Four
08:43Sit down and then stand up
08:48Cut
08:49Stop the clock
08:50Thanks Paul
08:51I think there was a few things I could have done better
08:54Like what?
08:55The start, the middle and the end
08:56Um
08:59Alice
09:00You weren't paying a lot of attention to the task
09:02Because there was that point where you'd forgotten to move the burger
09:06With all due respect to the burger I thought I'll let you have a little rest
09:12You take it easy for a bit
09:14I'll get the work done and then I'll bring you up to speed as and when needed
09:19Brie, heads, shoulders, knees and toes
09:21What did you do? Can you do it?
09:22What was it?
09:23What did you do?
09:24Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:26Knees and toes, knees and toes
09:27Knees and toes
09:28Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:29We all clap hands together
09:31Is that cause
09:32It's in my brain, I can't get rid of it
09:33Is that cause in regional Queensland you have extra knees and toes?
09:38Let's talk times
09:39Alice, 12 minutes and 8 seconds
09:41She completed 14 steps
09:43Rie, 6 minutes and 9 seconds
09:45Wow
09:46Yeah, she did 11 steps
09:47Okay
09:48This is a great opportunity for us all to get our 10,000 steps in
09:51Why don't you wander around the living room while the ads are playing and we'll see you after a couple of minutes
09:56Welcome back to Taskmaster
10:11What's going on Paul?
10:12Our contestants are delivering burgers to the caravan
10:15Up next, Du Bois
10:17Delivering
10:18A Boiga
10:1948
10:21Find three gnomes in the forest
10:24Oh what?
10:2527
10:26Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
10:30Oh sandwich, oh
10:32Your lettuce
10:34Mmm
10:35You want that Romeo?
10:36Get that down ya, ya dog
10:38Thank you
10:4032
10:41Okay
10:4250
10:43Head to the forest on the far side of the lake and find the lost treasure of the Esperanza
10:47All the way down there?
10:48Are you serious?
10:4932
10:50Make a paper airplane and fly it over the caravan long ways
10:54You made me any paper planes before?
10:56I think this is my third one in my entire life
10:59Wow
11:03Oh, I found an X
11:05Is that it?
11:06Yeah
11:07For that?
11:08The rubber duck egg
11:09I'm gonna YouTube
11:10Really
11:11Good
11:12Paper airplane
11:13He has quite nice hands
11:15Beautiful hands
11:16Like just the right amount of hair
11:1812
11:19I'll go with 12
11:20Touch two things that rhyme
11:21Ass
11:22Grass
11:23Look at this bro
11:24Honestly it feels like we're in Top Gear now
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28You mean Top Gun
11:29What's Top Gun?
11:3030
11:31Sing a one minute ballad about one of the other contestants
11:34Jacky Van Beek
11:36You are so sleek
11:47Number 49
11:48Float a marble on the lake for one minute
11:514
11:52Sit down and then stand up
11:57What's going in there?
11:5912
12:00Touch two things that rhyme
12:02Grass
12:03And
12:04Do I have consent to touch your ass?
12:07Sure
12:08Ass
12:09Ass
12:10I ask for consent
12:11You could also just do your own
12:13Stop the clock
12:22Time
12:23Thank you Paul
12:24I'll be in here
12:25Doing my burger
12:34Pax
12:35Do you regret doing the ass touching?
12:37You straight to the camera operator's ass
12:39That cameraman had badonkadonk
12:44It seemed to me that the tasks were getting more and more difficult
12:49The tasks were ranked in difficulties
12:52Why did you say that?
12:54It was implied
12:56So one being easiest, 50 being the hardest
12:59And these guys liked quite high numbers
13:01Yeah
13:02That would explain why I went to the lake two times
13:05So which Shakespearean character was it that said
13:08You like that Romeo, get it down you, you dog
13:14Background Peasant 10?
13:17Obviously
13:20I think we need some stats Paul
13:21So Bree was the fastest so far with 6 minutes and 9 seconds
13:26Jack 21 minutes and 6 seconds
13:29And Pax 36 minutes and 28 seconds
13:32We spent a lot of time on that paper played YouTube video
13:36Right, we've got one delivery left Paul
13:38Yes Jeremy, let's take a peek at the sleek Van Beek
13:42Okay
13:45That's disrespectful
13:46Not to the burger
13:4727!
13:48Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
13:52For sooth, where if my bread is
13:55Hark, there it is in the river near Ophelia
13:57I dive
13:59I dive in and capture her
14:02I'm tumbling down the river
14:04Tumbling down
14:05That's a minute
14:06Good, okay
14:07I'm ready
14:08Jackie, you're back here
14:09No I'm not
14:10That's what the flag is for
14:11God, okay
14:12Okay
14:15Are you disrespecting the burger?
14:17Certainly not
14:19So these aren't steps?
14:20I feel like I'm not even touching the cup
14:22Is that a step?
14:23No
14:25Cool, is that a step?
14:26No Paul
14:27None of these things are steps
14:29Yes
14:31Oh God
14:33Delivered
14:39Did Jackie disrespect the burger Paul?
14:41I don't think so
14:42She was holding it
14:43She didn't
14:44She didn't crush it at any point
14:45Yeah
14:46Didn't seem to disrespect it
14:47I didn't have any ill will towards it
14:49Oh
14:50Have some balls man
14:51Come on
14:53How many steps did she take?
14:54Well she only did one step
14:56It was a Shakespeare monologue
14:57And it was pretty good
14:58Thank you
14:59Yeah
15:00Jackie was four minutes and one second
15:01Wow
15:02To deliver the burger
15:03Okay so where does that leave the points then Paul?
15:05Do we accept Jackie's?
15:06Oh absolutely
15:07Okay
15:08That means one point for Pax
15:09Two points for Jack
15:10Three points for Alice
15:11Four points for Brie
15:12And five points for Jackie Van Beek
15:15I feel like it's a good time
15:18To have a look at the scoreboard for the episode Paul
15:21It's pretty tight
15:23Apart from Pax who's on two points
15:26In first place with eight points
15:28Brie Thomas-Al
15:30That's a bad guy
15:32Again
15:33So we are now past the halfway point in the series
15:36I think it would be a good time to have a series score update
15:39Leading the pack with 89 points Brie Thomas-Al
15:46Amazing
15:47Okay Paul
15:48What's the next task?
15:49In this task the aim of the game is to aim
16:03Paul?
16:04Paul!
16:11Oh f**k
16:13Oh jeez
16:15Oh
16:16You're insane
16:17You poked someone's eye out
16:18You've got glasses on
16:19I said someone's
16:21Oh
16:25What have we got here?
16:27Demonstrate exceptional aim
16:30Best demonstration of aim wins
16:32You may choose which attempt to submit
16:34You have 30 minutes, your time starts now
16:37So I can choose what to aim for and what to aim with
16:40Yes
16:41Do you have access to a gun?
16:42No
16:43Do we have a crossbow?
16:44I don't think we have a crossbow
16:46A ball
16:47Okay
16:48Should we go look for balls?
16:49Yeah
16:50Okay
16:51Let's go look for balls
16:52You found yours yet?
16:53I'm interested Alice
16:54So if we did have a gun on sight
17:00Yeah
17:01What was your plan?
17:02Have Paul stand under a tree with an apple on top of his head
17:07And I'd just give it my best one of those
17:11Alright Paul, which eagle eye contestants are we going to see first?
17:14Two athletes at the top of their game
17:17It's Jackie and Alice
17:19We'll just warm up for a few
17:23Punished
17:24I have set out five cones
17:27One throw from each cone
17:32Watch out!
17:33Number one
17:35Oh God
17:39That's gone for four into the river
17:41I will now illustrate my incredible aim
17:47Yes
17:50Oh that's caught
17:51Okay
17:52You come stand here
17:54Yes
17:56So that's two of two
18:00Number three
18:01Are you ready Paul?
18:02Yes
18:03Okay I need you to do one long note for me
18:08Yes!
18:09Push that up a little bit
18:12Do it!
18:15Are you ready Paul?
18:16Mmhmm
18:19Fantastic
18:20In front of the wicket Paul
18:21Actually let's start without the bat
18:26Do that!
18:27Good enough
18:28Let's go again
18:29You can hold the bat this time
18:30Left handed
18:31That was two in a row
18:32For five of five
18:33Five of five
18:40Five of five
18:41I don't think it was five of five
18:42Please don't do that
18:45Blow that!
18:47Three in a row
18:49Cat track
18:51Do you want a bowl?
18:52Maybe one
18:53Jack
18:59She really got a hold of that
19:01It's too short Paul
19:02Don't bounce her with the first delivery
19:04What do you think?
19:05Pitch it up
19:12Jackie
19:13You seem surprised that Paul
19:14Questioned your assessment of five out of five
19:16Considering that your main way of getting the duck off his head
19:19Was to hit him in the face for the ball
19:20I think it was five of five was it?
19:23It was five out of fifteen
19:26So in terms of you Alice
19:27Yeah
19:28Just looking at the way that you came in
19:30You got nice and side on
19:31I could see the seam was upright
19:33Not only was the line good
19:34That length was outstanding
19:36Very tidy
19:37And I couldn't disagree with anything you say
19:40Can I just say sorry
19:41Because I'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic
19:44And not so much a kind of duck archery fanatic
19:47But there's a lot of black terminology I don't understand
19:50I don't understand
19:51Alright I'd like to see a few more tosses if that's okay Paul
19:54Yes
19:55Two more tosses
19:56It's Brie and Pax
19:57Attempt number one
20:00Success
20:03Oh Paul
20:05Oh Paul
20:07We can do better
20:08So sorry Paul
20:09I just have to commit
20:13Going in
20:17No Paul
20:18Get some
20:21That's two in a row
20:22Do you want to see if you can get a third?
20:25Oh so sorry
20:27I should try a golf ball
20:28Cause that's even more impressive cause it's small
20:30Oh
20:31I'm really legitimately sorry
20:33Oh
20:34Oh
20:35Can you stop flinching?
20:36It's putting me off
20:37Sorry
20:38Oh
20:39Oh
20:40Oh
20:41Oh
20:42Oh
20:43Oh
20:44Oh
20:45Can you stop flinching?
20:46It's putting me off
20:47Sorry
20:48Oh
20:49The pinnacle of TV
20:51That's it!
20:52Oh
20:55The pinnacle of TV
20:59That's it!
21:00Oh
21:07That was so close
21:08Alright here we go
21:14Are you joking? Did that go in?
21:16Yep
21:17Yes Paul!
21:22Straight down the pipe!
21:32Paul why did you have a hat and glasses on for Jackie's task
21:37But not with what Pax was doing to you?
21:40Well Jackie put those on me for protection
21:42I protected Paul
21:44Very nice
21:45Why did he need to be there with that thing in his mouth?
21:47I don't f***ing know man
21:50I want to say that the hole of the cone
21:53Was only like two to one and a half centimetres bigger than the ball
21:57You designed the task
22:00You're such a smart man
22:02I think we need some stats Paul
22:04So Pax threw 124 throws
22:06Jeez did he?
22:07A few of which hit me in the head
22:10Three
22:11Only 38 attempts
22:12Four of which went into the bath
22:14Yeah good arm by the way Brie
22:16Thank you
22:17I don't know about the dancing but the arm was good
22:20Well we'll make a base camp here and aim for the summit of this task on the other side of this ad break
22:26We'll see you in a tick
22:27Nau mai anu welcome back to Taskmaster
22:42We're currently finding out which of our contestants has the best aim
22:46And so far half of them seem to be aiming for Paul's face
22:49Who have we got next Paul?
22:51He aims to please
22:52It's Jack Ansett
22:54Mmm
22:55Do you have good aim?
22:56No awful
22:57But aim isn't just aiming for something is it?
23:00You know you could have an aim to like inspire youth
23:03How would you inspire youth?
23:04We could go to the local primary school and I could do a motivational chat in their classroom
23:10There is a school
23:11Yeah
23:12But I'm not sure if we'd be allowed to film in it
23:14Might be able to get you near it
23:15Yeah
23:16Why not?
23:17Alright
23:19Love it
23:20Love it
23:29Ahem
23:31Believe you can and you're halfway there
23:34Nothing is impossible
23:36The word itself says I'm possible
23:40What does that mean though?
23:42It means that don't say things are impossible
23:45Because the word impossible has I'm possible in it
23:48But that doesn't make sense
23:49I am possible
23:50Live, laugh, love
23:52That's why my mum goes by
23:54It's good to be good and awful to be awful
23:57Okay, well I think I've inspired the youth of tomorrow
24:00Well let's get out of here before the police show up
24:06Okay, so you read some motivational quotes to a fence
24:10Yeah
24:11We did not film them but there were children looking through the classroom window
24:16Going there he is, there he is
24:18Yeah
24:19And I think they heard me
24:21As someone who was there
24:22No, no
24:23I don't think they could hear him
24:26Right
24:27But they did see him
24:28One point for Jack talking to a fence
24:30The crowd is turning on you
24:36Two points for Jackie for chucking stuff at your face
24:40Three points for Pax for chucking stuff at your face
24:44Four points for Brie cause that's a good arm
24:46And you gotta say Alice Ned and Tidyline and Link
24:51You got another task for us Paul?
24:53I do Jeremy
24:54And this task is novel if you get my gist
25:06Hi Paul
25:07Hello Jackie
25:08Hi Paul
25:09Hello Pax
25:13Give it a hoon hey Paul
25:14Get the gist of this book
25:16And then adapt it for the screen
25:18You have two minutes to get the gist
25:21One hour to film your adaptation
25:23Most faithful adaptation wins
25:25Your time starts now
25:27The scarlet pimpernel
25:29What's a pimpernel?
25:30Like a pimple
25:31Paris
25:321792
25:34Fisherman
25:35Fisherman
25:36Secret orchard
25:37That's a good keyword here
25:38Vengeance
25:39Okay, how does it end?
25:40So it ends in a wedding
25:41Might be a wedding on a yacht Paul
25:43At Lord Grenville's Ball
25:45Shhh
25:53What did you learn?
25:54It's some kind of French Revolution thing
25:57And her first name's Scarlet
25:59Okay
26:00And her last name's
26:03What's the book called?
26:04Can't say
26:05Pimpernel, I don't know what a pimpernel is
26:07But I took from that pimple
26:09Have you seen the film?
26:10I saw it when I was a teenager
26:12And it was a sleepover
26:14I was really trying to impress this girl
26:16That I quite liked
26:18She was a nine-year-old Maori girl
26:21Sporty
26:22Okay
26:23Maybe she's sunburned or something
26:24And that's why
26:25She's scarlet
26:26Yeah, okay
26:27Is it possible to go black and white
26:29Except for her face?
26:30Yes
26:31Well Schindler's listed
26:32Okay, Paul
26:33So none of us have read the Scarlet Pimpernel
26:36The Scarlet Pimpernel?
26:37Is that what it's called?
26:38Yes
26:39Alright, that's a bad start
26:40So just a little bit of background
26:42The Scarlet Pimpernel is a man who leads a double life
26:47One as a useless English nobleman
26:49And the other as a hero who rescues French aristocrats from the guillotine during the reign of terror
27:00This is gonna be real interesting
27:02Okay, Paul
27:03Who are we gonna see first?
27:04First
27:05Up first, it's Jacques Ansett
27:07I don't
27:08I don't
27:09Ah, je suis nazy-day in my secret orchids
27:13Ah, what a la...
27:17Sacred birth
27:18Is that...
27:21My beloved
27:23And that is the fisherman
27:26She will regret this for the rest of her days
27:29Aye, Lord Grenville
27:33I will invite you to the Farisian Ball
27:44Pretty crazy day we had in the orchard the other day
27:47We?
27:48Yeah, we yeah, you and me, yeah
27:49Yes, yes
27:50Oh
27:51My esteemed guests
27:55Welcome
27:56There's nothing fishy going on here
27:59Nothing fishy at all going on here
28:02I saw you in the Secret Orchard.
28:05What?
28:06With him!
28:07I'm going to react badly now.
28:09No.
28:23Vengeance so sweet.
28:25Why you do that?
28:27Are you all right?
28:29Hey!
28:30That's my ick.
28:32Red noses.
28:34See ya.
28:35He's never going to want you ever again, dear fisherman.
28:38I forever now brand you with the name The Scarlet Pimple now.
28:44Ok.
28:46Au revoir.
28:50Yeah.
28:51I'm not going to say even I know what was going on.
28:54I think it was pretty bloody good.
28:55In fairness to you, I'm almost too afraid to criticize it because I can't remember what
28:59I did.
29:00Who's up next Paul?
29:01Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:02Who's up next Paul?
29:03Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:04Who's up next Paul?
29:05Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:08Who's up next Paul?
29:09Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:15Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:22There you go.
29:23Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:24There's a incredible movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:25There's a veryен
29:44who doesn't, but he's not quite a long time outside!
29:47His gross.
29:48He's not too close to Amazon.
29:51Oh, my God.
30:21So I've written down, there's a sunburnt woman who everyone laughs at, she finds a man to hook up with, she doesn't give him a book, so he calls her a sluzzer, he apologises and she promises to obey him for the rest of her life.
30:38No, I think obviously there's more nuance to it than that. We have loyalty through the betrayal, that theme is represented, we have romance, you know, love, the road to love is rough.
30:51So what did that have to do with the French Revolution?
30:54Oh, it's all just set during it.
30:58We're going to pause right there so that you at home could envision what your life will be like with a brand new car or some heavily discounted furniture.
31:05Hopefully these ads will help you with that and we'll see you on the other side.
31:08Welcome back to Car's Master, the only show brave enough to ask the question, what is a Pimpernel?
31:28Remind us, what task are we in the middle of, Paul?
31:31Our contestants have been given two minutes to get the gist of a novel, The Scarlet Pimpernel, and then adapt it for the screen.
31:38Now let's get back to Paris with Parisis, with Pa, with Parisa, Paxasati.
31:45I don't want to torture you, you know that, right?
31:50Then don't torture me.
31:51I have to, because I'm British.
31:54I will never join the British.
31:56Also, why is your daughter here?
31:58It's weird for her to be here while I'm torturing you.
32:01She goes everywhere with me.
32:03Papa.
32:06What's that over there?
32:07What, what is it?
32:08Oh, blimey.
32:14Papa, we got away.
32:15Yes, we did.
32:16What do we do now?
32:18What we were born to do.
32:20Be French.
32:21It's so fun being French.
32:43I call ya.
32:45There's only one thing left for us to do.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49All right, you're on.
32:50Baguette fight it is.
32:52Hold up.
32:56Stop.
32:57Hold on.
32:57Stop this.
32:59What?
32:59I have to tell you something.
33:01What is it?
33:02I'm in love with your daughter.
33:04Oh my God, you're in love with my daughter.
33:07That's right.
33:08Let's go.
33:10Should we take your father?
33:12No.
33:13All right.
33:14He seems weird anyway.
33:15Yes, he's a strange man.
33:20So the most French things that you could think of doing was to look at the Eiffel Tower, to smoke cigarettes, and then to eat pasta, Italian food.
33:29A journey through Europe.
33:32Aren't the dogs that kiss French?
33:35No.
33:35I've never had an audience yell, no.
33:39Yes, dear.
33:40Isn't that your daughter that your lady in the tramping with?
33:44Yeah, they're French.
33:46They love incest.
33:49Who's up next, Paul?
33:49Representing the French region of Brie, it's Brie.
33:56Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony.
34:02All right, I guess we'll do this thing.
34:05Someone sent a poopernickel on the deck.
34:08It's finally got a reddish tinge to it, like they've been drinking a lot of beetroot juice.
34:13And I know Lady Blackney's been on a five-day cleanse.
34:17What?
34:19That's, that's crazy.
34:21Lady Blackney.
34:22How dare you?
34:23Is this true?
34:24Fine.
34:26It was I.
34:27I decided to ruin this wedding by defecating on the deck.
34:32I told you why we can't get married.
34:34We're related.
34:36It'd be, it'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:39And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:46Everybody on this boat.
34:48I guess if you guys are cool with it, I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:52You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like, we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
35:00I'm keen.
35:00You keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I mean, if you...
35:03All right, come on, you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:05Okay.
35:06Come on, Lady Blackney.
35:09The Scarlet.
35:10The Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda in the early 1900s.
35:24Like Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:30Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well, the romance was a cousin on cousin orgy.
35:34Yeah.
35:36And there would be people watching right now that are sitting next to their cousin saying,
35:42wow.
35:43What they'd be saying, according to you, is, come on, you big bitch.
35:46Let's go.
35:46Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:54She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favourite place in the world.
36:02Video easy Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:08Oh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:09It's about the French people and then, oh, there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds amazing.
36:21Oh, my gosh.
36:23Can you feel it?
36:23It's shaking.
36:24Don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:29Oh, my gosh.
36:38Well, we seem to be in another time and place.
36:40Oh, it's freezing.
36:41This doesn't really make sense, though, because, I mean, I thought we were meant to be in France.
36:45Oh, God.
36:46Oh.
36:48I think we've got to go.
36:49Wait.
36:49The book.
36:50Yes.
36:50The DVD.
36:51The VHS.
36:52VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh, God.
36:56It's going.
36:57It's going.
36:59Randy.
37:04Randy.
37:06Wait a minute.
37:06You're not Randy.
37:07Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:11But I'm looking for Randy, my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you, though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh, my God.
37:22And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh, no.
37:24But my heart's with Randy.
37:25I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So, see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir.
37:35Au revoir.
37:38Now, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:41Mmm.
37:42What an ending.
37:43What an ending.
37:48Thanks, where it ends.
37:50What an ending.
37:50Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the, where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:57It was the Arctic.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:02I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted.
38:04But it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:08I've got a couple of questions.
38:09I've got a couple of questions.
38:10Okay.
38:11None of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel, I think.
38:17Right.
38:17In that context, I think, Bree, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s, probably
38:23means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:28That is an oversight.
38:31Three points to Jack, because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jackie.
38:39What?
38:39It had the Scarlet Pimpernel in it.
38:41How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:45I know.
38:46And finally, I'll give five points to Pax, because there was a lot of French stuff going on,
38:50and there was some escaping going on.
38:55Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read War and Peace.
39:01I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in the morning.
39:11Welcome back to Charles Master.
39:18Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points.
39:23Jackie, Bree, and Alice.
39:26Wow.
39:27We've picked up.
39:28I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:36Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:38Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43I don't know what?
39:43What do you know that I don't know?
39:44I don't know.
39:45What have you just done?
39:45What have you just done?
39:46Let him finish.
39:47During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty.
39:53And during that technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all
39:58listened to and loved.
40:00Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the air muffs that are under your seats?
40:04Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:09Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:16Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Wow.
40:20She wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:21My age.
40:22She was 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:26And she had this wild pink and purple dress on.
40:30And she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good.
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was.
40:40And it was $5.90.
40:42And she only had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would this strawberry jam suffice?
40:49Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3.
40:52Right.
40:52Which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
40:57Are we ready?
41:03Yes, ma'am.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:07Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:10I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16She wanted some jam that cost $5.90.
41:18But she only had $3.
41:21So then you got her the strawberry jam and you were in Whangaday.
41:24You were in Whangaday two weeks ago.
41:26Where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years old.
41:30And she wanted some jam.
41:31But she only had $3.
41:33Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh my God.
41:47Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:49Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:59Oh my God.
42:01Jack.
42:02For Christmas, I would like.
42:06Sit on the chair.
42:07Yeah, I regret that too.
42:11Paul said to me in the strictest of confidence.
42:17He said.
42:26He was in London with his flatmates.
42:29In my mother's negligee.
42:30And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog.
42:36So they made him the family dog.
42:39And then they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through.
42:43And then he was like.
42:44My mother died.
42:46In a horrible parachute crash.
42:50In Nicaragua.
42:53But then it all worked out fine.
42:56And he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:01Alice.
43:09I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been a New World.
43:17And there was a lady there and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:21And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:27And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then Paul had a great time.
43:33Did I do it?
43:45Killing me that I can't hear.
43:47This is the greatest moment of my life.
43:51Alright everyone can take their headphones off.
43:53And we'll head down to score it.
43:58So what do you reckon about that Paul?
44:00I mean one of them was pretty good.
44:03I would say one point to everybody other than Alice.
44:08Who I think probably deserves five points.
44:10Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:11I'll take it.
44:16So in terms of the episode scores Paul where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six with 18 points.
44:23Alice Sneddon.
44:27Congrats.
44:28Congratulations Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things.
44:33See you next time.
44:37Mate wa.
44:38This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
44:58No, no, no, no, no, no.
44:59Ah!
45:00I'm feeling deflated.
45:02At least I look cool in all these tasks.
45:04Oh, great.
45:05I'm a fantastic sports person.
45:09Razzle, razzle baby.
45:12Yes!
45:13Yes!
45:14Finished.
45:15I'm a good one.
45:16I'm a good one.
45:16I'm a good one.
45:16I'm a good one.
45:16I'm a good one.
45:17I'm a good one.
45:17I'm a good one.
45:17I'm a good one.
45:18I'm a good one.
45:18I'm a good one.
45:18I'm a good one.
45:19I'm a good one.
45:19I'm a good one.
Recommended
1:15:10
|
Up next
1:23:52
57:59
1:08:09
47:00
48:29
44:46
1:15:10
1:14:13
46:25
1:15:02
46:50
1:10:30
45:55
46:59
28:50
47:34
46:47
43:31
46:32
45:28
46:53
47:44
23:56
47:58