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  • 2 days ago
In Los Angeles, a colorful assortment of bohemians try to make sense of their intersecting lives. The moody Dark Smith (James Duval), his bisexual girlfriend (Rachel True), her lesbian lover (Kathleen Robertson) and their shy gay friend (Nathan Bexton) plan on attending the wildest party of the year. But they'll only make it if they can survive the drug trips, suicides, trysts, rapes, mutilations and alien abductions that occur as one surreal day unfolds.

#nowhere #nowhere1997 #sci-fi #comedy #comingofage #films #explore #discover #indiefilm
Transcript
00:00:00L.A. is like nowhere.
00:00:03Everybody who lives here is lost.
00:00:30I just ignore all works.
00:00:38The smallerietnamese Aid of Broadway
00:00:42Are always the most beautiful.
00:00:48Do not necessarily recognize the planetary planet,
00:00:51R.E.L.K. onto many powerful sources.
00:00:55Here the mountain this river is always very important to thinking about the limit James.
00:04:28You've been in that shower abusing yourself.
00:04:30You pump your handle too much, young man.
00:04:32It's going to wither up and fall off.
00:04:35Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
00:04:37Oh, bitch!
00:04:39Oh, bitch!
00:04:40Ew.
00:04:42Ew.
00:04:46Ew.
00:04:47Ew.
00:04:56Ew.
00:04:56Mel, I gotta make a documentary about somebody I care about and it's due next Wednesday.
00:05:19And whoever said you care about me anyways.
00:05:20And whoever said you care about me anyways.
00:05:22Didn't I give you my Cap'n Crunchy decoder ring back in the sixth grade?
00:05:26That was Angelique Tewksbury, dork ball.
00:05:29Oh.
00:05:30Hey, take your shirt off.
00:05:31Come on.
00:05:32Come on.
00:05:33Come on.
00:05:33Come on.
00:05:33That'll give Professor Starkweather a boner and he'll give me an A.
00:05:36I'm sure.
00:05:37Take your Prozac, Dark.
00:05:38What's the matter?
00:05:39Are you scared?
00:05:41No.
00:05:42Think of the scandal.
00:05:43Everyone in class will be all outraged.
00:05:45is this what you want to say oh yeah man
00:05:53city morgue you stab and we slab them is that bonzo dog breath need her out to class
00:06:00i'm not going dark you were totally gonna bite the holy credits you were taking the semester
00:06:05i got some editing to do on my 101 project i'll probably head over to the hole for some chow
00:06:10well maybe i'll go with i just got my period i'm in full tilt pig out mode oh and make sure you edit
00:06:16my boobs out i do not want to be wally on campus ogling my chimichangas hey lucifer's not with you
00:06:22is she you cannot stomach seeing her butt ugly likeness this early in the day look my box
00:06:27mower clean the maggots out of it first you stinky oyster you guys i mean it mel i do not want to
00:06:32have to look at that tarantula woman over my morning espresso don't be a seizure queen
00:06:36i'll pick you up in like 15. mel i told you i'm editing be your lover boy
00:06:41can you continue to frog that annoying butt loaf and you have something that sexy and rad is me around
00:06:47what would life be without a little mystery mel
00:06:51pa you weren't just done in there or what i gotta whiz like a busted fire hose
00:06:56finale
00:07:01oh if it isn't little baby zero
00:07:04cut it out
00:07:05bye
00:07:08gross huh
00:07:10so we'll get hitting juju food this party tonight
00:07:15holy zero how did you hear about it
00:07:18hey you
00:07:19you are not invited trim skin you're barely old enough to shave
00:07:23fell for me
00:07:25oh come on i got a date with zoe and she totally wants to go
00:07:30i already scored the card for mom
00:07:32life sucks
00:07:34i've got these scuvia zits sprouting right in the middle of my forehead
00:07:40it's gonna be a full-on third eye by the time we get to juju fruits party
00:07:43hate that
00:07:44what i hate is when you get a zit way down in your back and a spot where you can't even reach to pop it
00:07:49if you pop a zit on your forehead you can get blood poisoning and die you know
00:07:53lucifer you are so dumb you should donate your brain to a monkey science fair
00:07:57i read it in mouth to mouth squirtle fungus
00:08:00mel what's this
00:08:01what
00:08:03dark being bored
00:08:05mature
00:08:07yuck yuck yuck
00:08:10whoa mel back it up
00:08:15what
00:08:16just back up all right
00:08:17need a lift
00:08:26well
00:08:27you're in my modern society class aren't you
00:08:29yeah i think
00:08:31name's dark
00:08:32it's dark like absence of light
00:08:34or uh dork like we call him
00:08:36cram it fur burger
00:08:37this is mel and the loud mouth hag is lucifer
00:08:40come on
00:08:42come on come ring me
00:08:43we're on our way to the hole for some breakfast
00:08:44you want to join
00:08:45i
00:08:46i can have a
00:08:48a class
00:08:49we'll be quick and drop you
00:08:50come on
00:08:53so what's with the camcorder are you in film class
00:08:58dark thinks he's gonna be the next clive marker
00:09:00right
00:09:01eat my turbo will you lucifer
00:09:04actually
00:09:05convince someone to die soon
00:09:08like a spectacular plane crash
00:09:10fire
00:09:11chemical explosion
00:09:12i don't want to film it
00:09:14so it'll be like this cool record of my own death
00:09:15so i take my camera with me wherever i go
00:09:17isn't that just so
00:09:19bitchin
00:09:20can you please just shut up
00:09:22how do you know
00:09:24know what
00:09:25that you're gonna you know
00:09:26die
00:09:27i feel it
00:09:29like a premonition
00:09:32you mean premonition
00:09:33whatever
00:09:37no i don't understand
00:09:38how can you have one
00:09:40if you don't even know how to pronounce a friggin word
00:09:41i'm about to lose my temper lucifer
00:09:43and i am gonna deck you
00:09:45come on
00:09:45you guys
00:09:46listen
00:09:51oops
00:09:53clumsy me
00:09:57hi montgomery
00:09:59what are you doing here
00:10:01aren't you supposed to be in thermonuclear catalystrophies class
00:10:04yeah
00:10:06whoa
00:10:07hey
00:10:10do you know what today is
00:10:16friday
00:10:17no dodo bird
00:10:19it's armageddon day
00:10:21the day the world's supposed to end
00:10:23like have you ever heard of the rapture
00:10:26the sushi and the banshees album
00:10:28no it's like
00:10:30this radical religious movement
00:10:32in south cambodia
00:10:34and all these thousands of people
00:10:35are giving up their worldly possessions
00:10:37and leaving their families
00:10:39all in preparation for the rapture
00:10:41ascending into heaven
00:10:43on the day that christ returns to earth
00:10:45and the world is destroyed
00:10:47and according to those scriptures
00:10:49today is that day
00:10:52just like what are we supposed to do
00:10:54i don't know
00:10:56alissa are you gonna join us back here on planet earth sometime this decade or what
00:11:00hi dingbat
00:11:04hi
00:11:04hi montgomery
00:11:06hi
00:11:07hey alissa me and egg have been waiting for like eons
00:11:10i'm coming
00:11:10hey dingbat
00:11:12can you help me study for my history of lethal epidemic time term
00:11:15yeah um
00:11:17sunday nine ish
00:11:19cool
00:11:20are you going to the kick the can came today
00:11:23duh
00:11:24yes
00:11:25come on i'm fully prepared to pork major
00:11:27hi montgomery
00:11:29bye
00:11:29see ya
00:11:30see ya
00:11:31i gotta burn these calories fast before i blow up
00:11:35let's go rollerblading or something
00:11:37i'd rather have my ball hairs burned off with an acetylene torch
00:11:41well that can be arranged
00:11:42i better get back to class
00:11:46are you okay man you look kind of pale
00:11:49yeah i'm fine
00:11:50i gotta go
00:11:53well where are we at we'll drive you
00:11:55you sure you don't want to come with
00:11:57i think i'm gonna go to the record store
00:12:01how now brown cow
00:12:02cowboy
00:12:02i'm gonna go to the record store
00:12:04oh no
00:12:05hi
00:12:06so i'll see you later
00:12:08yeah
00:12:09hey you guys playing kick the can tonight
00:12:10huh
00:12:11kick the can at 10 o'clock in the old baseball field
00:12:14before juju food's party man
00:12:16you're gonna be there right
00:12:18sure
00:12:19let's evacuate please
00:12:22hey don't forget our gig at the butt crack next wednesday
00:12:25who's opening
00:12:26sandy duncan's eye
00:12:27and jane mansfield's head
00:12:29well
00:12:30i met the drummer for sandy duncan's eye at a party
00:12:33or he's like a barn you're an animal
00:12:35so come late then and just see us
00:12:36bye
00:12:37hey have you seen barteron today
00:12:41you know we were supposed to rehearse this morning
00:12:48and he like totally flaked
00:12:50again
00:12:51sorry boy
00:12:53i haven't seen you in the golden age
00:12:55i've never been busy
00:12:56busy jonesing you mean huh
00:12:59whatever
00:13:00come on angel
00:13:07quit screwing around
00:13:08hey bart
00:13:13to whom do we have the pleasure
00:13:15of course it's cozy
00:13:16we were hoping you were here for an appointment
00:13:21actually me and handjob
00:13:23we're just conducting a bit of business
00:13:24bummer
00:13:26isn't that a humongous bummer chris
00:13:29bart's here for my brand of bliss today ladies
00:13:34i don't know what to do
00:13:35it's hard enough being in a band with your boyfriend
00:13:39but when stuff like this starts happening
00:13:42i mean what am i supposed to do fire him
00:13:43break up at least
00:13:47okay ladies
00:13:50scarf
00:13:58listen what's up with my video man
00:14:08i'm still in the conceptualizing stages
00:14:12don't worry
00:14:13i'm just gonna blow your testes off
00:14:15yeah
00:14:16you and bart are like trapped inside this like gigantic slimy uterus
00:14:20uterus
00:14:27are you gonna
00:14:27promise my mom i'd stop for a week
00:14:30you
00:14:30i'm just gonna do a bunch of speed later and not eat for like three days
00:14:34i'm just gonna do this
00:14:45Jazz
00:14:47bottom
00:14:47top
00:14:48top
00:14:48top
00:14:50bottom
00:14:50top
00:14:51top
00:14:52top
00:14:52top
00:14:53top
00:14:53front
00:14:54top
00:14:56bottom
00:14:56top
00:14:56top
00:14:56bottom
00:14:58top
00:14:58I don't know where you're going to be, but I don't know where you're going to be.
00:15:28Oh, don't lose, I'm, I'm, sorry, it's all right.
00:15:45Isn't that...
00:15:46Oh. My. God.
00:15:49Well, I guess I better go and hunt for him.
00:15:52Can you drop me at urns? I'm gonna score the new Dead Puppies CD.
00:15:55Sure.
00:15:58Wait. I'm sorry, the door was unlocked and I...
00:16:01Forget about it.
00:16:04What's your name?
00:16:06Egg.
00:16:07Well, I mean, my real name's Polly, but my friends all call me Egg.
00:16:11Egg?
00:16:12Dweeby, I know, but it just kinda stuck.
00:16:15Well, hi, Egg. I'm...
00:16:17I know who you are. Duh. I'm not from another dimension.
00:16:25He looks shorter in person.
00:16:27Well, so what? He's still a total definition of yummy.
00:16:30Oh, my God. What did he say?
00:16:32Nothing, really. He just... he invited me to go for a walk.
00:16:36What?
00:16:37Hey, did you hear what happened to Marcus?
00:16:39His butthole fell out and he has to have surgery.
00:16:42Oh, Henry.
00:16:44Red Whales got married to me.
00:16:51Who died?
00:16:52Ha, ha, ha.
00:16:59Are we still in reality?
00:17:01my palm itches where's your twin brother Shad
00:17:05dad
00:17:13cool
00:17:15have I ever told you that I love you
00:17:22stow it and pay the lady Shad
00:17:25watch out
00:17:29watch out yourself you freaking
00:17:32lesbos
00:17:33Eva Bermuda Triangle Shad
00:17:35nice
00:17:42you all right
00:17:53chill
00:17:56hey look who it is
00:18:02hey Jana isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting fosco flavored girlfriend
00:18:11insert it in your clammy crevice will you Shannon
00:18:13hey I think I need to pump up again
00:18:18I could use a firm up too
00:18:20this shouldn't make it better
00:18:25so what are you going to wear to Juju Fritz party tonight
00:18:35clothes
00:18:37can I bring you human sexology notes from last friday
00:18:41am I like the only person on this cosmic plane who ever goes to class
00:18:45hey do you think Montgomery likes me
00:18:49he's weird
00:18:51thanks
00:18:52oh Alyssa
00:18:53hey Ducky
00:18:55hi Ducky
00:18:56I just woke up
00:19:00really
00:19:01you guys hear Muriel's in Syri-Sinai
00:19:04who's Muriel
00:19:05my stepmom
00:19:06she's like way anorexic
00:19:07passed out in her low-impact aerobics class
00:19:09and they had to carry her out in a stretcher
00:19:11oh drag
00:19:12so you guys going to be at the kick the can game later
00:19:15I am
00:19:16tater tater tots
00:19:26right
00:19:27hi Elvis
00:19:30where you been
00:19:34places
00:19:35get on
00:19:36what does she see in this guzma
00:19:39you smell like a wet dog
00:19:45complaining
00:19:47nope
00:19:48have you seen the egg
00:19:54it's her turn to recycle the aluminum
00:19:55oh my god you haven't heard
00:19:57your sister just left here with
00:19:59not even
00:20:00I don't believe this
00:20:01do you ever watch Baywatch
00:20:03do you think this is completely freaky or what
00:20:05what
00:20:06you know hanging out with me like this
00:20:08well it's a little
00:20:10surreal
00:20:12I guess
00:20:13you've no idea
00:20:15how sucky it is
00:20:16being like a celebrity
00:20:17everybody treats you like you're not even a person anymore
00:20:20like you're this thing
00:20:21this entity
00:20:22you're eating dinner in some restaurant
00:20:24or going to the movies or whatever
00:20:25and people just stare and point at you
00:20:27start whispering to their friends
00:20:29like you're
00:20:29like you're some exhibit in a freak show
00:20:31wow
00:20:33that's why I like being with you
00:20:35I mean I don't know you that well or anything
00:20:37but you seem
00:20:38I don't know
00:20:39different
00:20:40neat
00:20:41thanks
00:20:43do you want to sit
00:20:46sure
00:20:47oh my god
00:20:48Judy Fritz parties tonight
00:20:50and I have no clue who to go with
00:20:52what about Jason
00:20:53I'm going with Jason
00:20:54well then I'll go with Tomas
00:20:57I thought you were going with Tomas
00:20:59Tomas has a dinky weenie
00:21:01you did Tomas
00:21:03ew I'm sure
00:21:04gross
00:21:04I thought Jason was doing Tomas
00:21:06Jason's doing that valley slut hole
00:21:08Eileen Schwarzkopf
00:21:09and trills
00:21:10that's who
00:21:11Eileen
00:21:12and you believe her
00:21:13hello
00:21:13she lives in Whittier
00:21:15if Jason did Eileen
00:21:17then he must have done Richard
00:21:19who's Richard?
00:21:21Eileen's other scag
00:21:22like she's totally into these Kinko three ways
00:21:24Eileen is a whore
00:21:26is Richard the surfer with the hair lip
00:21:28that drives the black jetta?
00:21:29no he's got a Lexus
00:21:30I thought he hung himself
00:21:33yeah
00:21:33he's like totally gorgeous
00:21:34plus he's got a Lexus
00:21:36is he gay?
00:21:37who Jason?
00:21:39Richard?
00:21:41Tomas
00:21:41well duh
00:21:43what do you think
00:21:43Tingleberry
00:21:44I swear Trudy
00:21:45you can be sipped
00:21:46yeah I want to write and direct
00:21:59I have to ensure
00:22:02that the artistic integrity
00:22:05of this project
00:22:07isn't compromised
00:22:09first thing Monday
00:22:14I'm not ever so solemnly swear
00:22:18okay
00:22:21ciao
00:22:23gee of Christ
00:22:26hold on
00:22:27coming
00:22:35where is he?
00:22:43he was here like an hour or so ago
00:22:49but um
00:22:50no man
00:22:52he's not here now
00:22:53see Barney boy has left the building
00:22:56where'd he go man?
00:22:58did he say where he was going?
00:22:59heaven
00:23:00he said he was taking a
00:23:03a hike up the old stairway to heaven
00:23:06bye
00:23:10my hat
00:23:13where's my hat?
00:23:16so are you in school?
00:23:20studying?
00:23:21well I don't know
00:23:21nothing
00:23:23well I mean a bunch of stuff
00:23:25nothing specific
00:23:28well just as long as you're not in the industry
00:23:30that's one of all actresses, models, D-girls
00:23:32you name it
00:23:33forever
00:23:34I have this fantasy
00:23:36it's probably cornball or romantic I know
00:23:39but
00:23:39there's times when I just want to disappear
00:23:43meet up with someone special and just run away
00:23:46never be heard from again
00:23:47don't you think that'd be killer?
00:23:49uh huh
00:23:51me too
00:23:53I figured you'd be here
00:24:05I did
00:24:09Bart you promised me man
00:24:11I'm sorry
00:24:13cowboy I'm really sorry
00:24:16Bart you've got to get clean man
00:24:18you've got to or it's all over
00:24:21okay you
00:24:23me, the band, the whole falafel
00:24:25I will cowboy
00:24:27you know I will
00:24:28I mean it this time Bart
00:24:30come here
00:24:34come up here
00:24:38no man
00:24:47just get clean
00:24:49look I'll do anything to help you through it
00:24:53but we cannot do this anymore
00:24:55you get it?
00:24:56no more
00:24:59I love you dude
00:25:06thirsty?
00:25:23dying
00:25:23so how you doing smiley?
00:25:28okay
00:25:33now
00:25:35Mel
00:25:44Dark
00:25:46I love you Mel
00:25:50Totally true and pure
00:25:53Mutual
00:25:55I just wish we didn't
00:25:58get together with like so many other
00:26:00people and stuff
00:26:02Luca
00:26:04you know
00:26:06that I firmly believe
00:26:10that human
00:26:12beings are built
00:26:14for sex and for
00:26:16love
00:26:17and that we should dole out as
00:26:20much of both as possible before we're
00:26:22old and ugly and nobody wants to touch us
00:26:24anymore
00:26:25I know
00:26:28and
00:26:30just because I make it
00:26:32with other guys
00:26:34and girls
00:26:35that has no
00:26:38effect whatsoever on my feelings for you
00:26:41sometimes I feel
00:26:42so old fashioned from another planet
00:26:44but it's like I'm half a person without you
00:26:47you're so cute
00:26:50life is so complicated
00:27:05I wrote a poem for you last night
00:27:08want me to read it to you
00:27:09no
00:27:11hey Elvis
00:27:15do you believe in God
00:27:17I don't believe in anything
00:27:23you have to believe in something
00:27:30no I don't
00:27:33tie me up
00:27:37okay Mr. Kingy
00:27:42is this okay
00:27:51Tyger
00:27:52Tyger
00:27:53throw the pants back
00:27:56the pants
00:27:57okay now spank me baby
00:28:10spank my hot
00:28:11tight
00:28:12rock hard ass
00:28:14harder
00:28:16harder
00:28:16harder
00:28:18harder
00:28:20uh Elvis
00:28:24I uh I love you
00:28:29ditto
00:28:31hug buddy
00:28:33I love you
00:28:39I love you
00:28:40I love you
00:28:41I love you
00:28:41with a wife
00:28:41with a death
00:28:42with a tan
00:28:44with a friend
00:28:45his face
00:28:46I love you
00:28:47Ah! I love you!
00:28:49I bet that you say that to all the girls!
00:28:54Ah! Ah!
00:28:56Mommy! Mommy!
00:28:59Daddy? Daddy?
00:29:00Mommy! Daddy?
00:29:02Mommy! Daddy?
00:29:03Mommy! Mommy!
00:29:05Daddy! Mommy!
00:29:06Mommy!
00:29:06Mommy!
00:29:07Mommy!
00:29:11In this world of depravity and perversion,
00:29:14who is the only one that can lead you out of the muck,
00:29:19out of the dank, filthy swamp that mankind has full-heartedly sunken into?
00:29:25Jesus!
00:29:26Jesus!
00:29:28Jesus!
00:29:29Jesus!
00:29:30Who died on the cross for our sins.
00:29:33Welcome Jesus into your lives, brothers and sisters,
00:29:35so that he can show you the way into the true kingdom of God!
00:29:40I read someplace that dude's got, like, 12 lives.
00:29:44I don't think I'm drunk.
00:29:46Most excellent.
00:29:52To destiny.
00:30:00Hey.
00:30:02What?
00:30:02You're so beautiful.
00:30:14You're so beautiful.
00:30:14Wait!
00:30:29Stop!
00:30:31Oh, wait.
00:30:33Wait. Stop.
00:30:39Don't let me listen to what I do with me, babe.
00:30:41You won't leave me in a minute.
00:30:43You won't leave me so you can make sense.
00:30:45Hey, I'm just a good big star. I'm just so bitter.
00:30:53Please, stop.
00:30:55Stop.
00:30:57Stop.
00:30:59What are you gonna do?
00:31:01Stop!
00:31:05Sir? Excuse me, sir.
00:31:07Is everything all right?
00:31:09Yeah, everything's fine.
00:31:11I just knocked you over a chair by accident.
00:31:13Sorry to bother you, sir.
00:31:15Have a good evening.
00:31:17Thanks.
00:31:19Well, that was a close call now, wasn't it?
00:31:21But tonight...
00:31:23Why is it like you're not under the leg?
00:31:25Because you're gonna get the best dogging of your perky, pathetic life.
00:31:27And you'll love every single second of it.
00:31:29I feel like you just died and went straight to heaven.
00:31:33Oh, no!
00:31:35What are you gonna do today?
00:31:36Why can't I feel the things that I'm supposed to do?
00:31:54Why can't I feel the things that I'm supposed to do?
00:32:00Why can't I see what I have to do?
00:32:05Why can't I feel the things that I'm supposed to do?
00:32:13My dear, sweet and tender parts, how do you smell relief?
00:32:35Isn't sex just the best tension release there is?
00:32:43It's like a really good, sweaty game of racquetball.
00:32:47Only you get to come at the end.
00:32:53I adore you.
00:32:55What a nice thing to say.
00:32:59Why don't we just bout to keep the can game?
00:33:03And hide away here in my room forever.
00:33:05What time is it?
00:33:07No way!
00:33:09No way!
00:33:10I was supposed to pick up Lucifer 20 minutes ago.
00:33:15Mel...
00:33:16She's totally gonna roast my rump.
00:33:18Mel...
00:33:19Angel boy, I gotta go.
00:33:21Mel, wait a second.
00:33:23Will you marry me?
00:33:24You...
00:33:25Are too precious for words.
00:33:26Okay.
00:33:27I'll see you at kick the can.
00:33:28And don't forget, it's your turn to provide the ex.
00:33:31Love you, Boo-Butter.
00:33:38Bye.
00:34:00Zero?
00:34:18Yeah, Zoe, it's me.
00:34:20Be right down.
00:34:20Ah, hey, homie, why so jumpy?
00:34:32I, I just, nothing.
00:34:39Mmm, strawberry.
00:34:47I missed you.
00:34:49You just saw me in the day before yesterday at Kumquat.
00:34:52So I missed you anyway.
00:34:54You mean Gilligan here missed me?
00:34:57We both did.
00:34:59You're our favorite person in this whole wide scuzzbucket world.
00:35:04You're the sweetest boy ever.
00:35:14So, did you get the address to Gigi Food's party?
00:35:18Uh, zero.
00:35:19Oh, hey.
00:35:21Would I ever let you down?
00:35:28Hey, Eastling.
00:35:29How did you daddy school any dog?
00:35:33This is great.
00:35:35I won't forget.
00:35:37I won't forget.
00:35:38Are you hungry?
00:35:39That's fine.
00:35:40That's fine.
00:35:41Are you hungry?
00:35:43That's the rest of the toasty shoes.
00:36:11Miracle 8's cure turns out to be a hoax.
00:36:17The Atari gang continue their reign of terror in the city.
00:36:21And Palis Verde City Councilwoman Andrea Sperling insists her teenage son was kidnapped and experimented on by space aliens.
00:36:30And now a word from our sponsor.
00:36:41Tuff tits, dickweed. You're it.
00:37:08Tabitha time.
00:37:11So you're here to read.
00:37:13How did it get together?
00:37:15I got a frog.
00:37:19I've been about to eat too many days.
00:37:23I'll eat with a dog.
00:37:25I don't even know what to eat but I don't even know what to eat or what to eat or eat.
00:37:31I'll eat with the ones.
00:37:33It's a lot of us.
00:37:35It's a lot of us.
00:37:39One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
00:38:09Eleven, twelve, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.
00:38:24There it is, babe.
00:38:27The vast and arid waistline of glittering filth, emptiness, and death.
00:38:33Hooray.
00:38:33Hey, did you hear about that old guy in Brentwood who croaked, and then by the time his neighbors found him, his dog had eaten half his face off?
00:38:49Dogs eating people is cool.
00:38:50Let the love feast begin.
00:39:10Occupied, dude.
00:39:13Sorry.
00:39:14Hey, you guys going to Juju Feet's party?
00:39:17Buzz off, twerk.
00:39:20Goddamn chipmunks.
00:39:28Now what?
00:39:35Uh-huh.
00:39:39Right there.
00:39:42There.
00:39:44Tastes good.
00:40:10I just love the milk chocolatey goodness.
00:40:36Come out, come out, wherever you are.
00:40:44What a goomba.
00:40:47You see him?
00:40:48He's 50 feet from the can.
00:40:50He's so blitzkrieg.
00:40:51He's, like, staggering around.
00:40:52Becky?
00:40:57What?
00:41:00Have you ever, like, got to know my business or anything, but I kind of heard this rumor that you're kind of, like, waiting for the right person?
00:41:09That is not true, okay?
00:41:11That is not true, okay?
00:41:13I've done it.
00:41:15I'm so sure.
00:41:17With who?
00:41:17Lots of people, lots of people, a bunch of different times, okay?
00:41:22Oh.
00:41:36What did you do that for?
00:41:37I think you chipped my truth.
00:41:42Come on.
00:41:44Breathe!
00:41:45Breathe!
00:41:59Creeps!
00:42:01Don't bust your ballsack.
00:42:02You scared me.
00:42:07Obvious.
00:42:09Has Dark been through here?
00:42:12No.
00:42:14Well.
00:42:15Ducky and Dingbat are already freeing.
00:42:17Dark is so swagged, he's already doing the Cujo.
00:42:21You know, the Cujo.
00:42:26Oh.
00:42:28Well.
00:42:30Later.
00:42:30Later.
00:42:32Don't let the boogeyman get you.
00:42:34Right?
00:42:49Jesus, go.
00:42:50What?
00:42:55Ah!
00:42:55Ah!
00:42:59Ah!
00:43:00Ah!
00:43:00Ah!
00:43:00Ah!
00:43:01Ah!
00:43:01Ah!
00:43:04Yum.
00:43:13Ah!
00:43:13It's your turn.
00:43:16Yeah, I'd have to.
00:43:19Let's go, baby.
00:43:22Let's go.
00:43:24No.
00:43:25No!
00:43:25Oh, God, Liz.
00:43:27Oh, God, Liz.
00:43:36I...
00:43:37I...
00:43:37I...
00:43:37Want to...
00:43:38Die!
00:43:39Let's all die!
00:43:42Eh...
00:43:42What is it?
00:43:48Nothing.
00:43:48I just...
00:43:49Elvis, have you ever wondered what would happen if the big earthquake hit
00:43:57and all the nuclear power plants in California blew up?
00:44:03I mean, what would they do with all the hundreds of thousands of dead bodies?
00:44:10Baby kings.
00:44:12Just go back to sleep.
00:44:19I've read all the books and listened to all the tapes on how to get rich.
00:44:30There's mobbed a guerrilla base, killing at least 49 soldiers and 13 civilians.
00:44:35Damage to the place is said to be heavy in the Israeli...
00:44:37...very modern. It was perfect for 90s fashions in a lot of ways.
00:44:41Everything all right?
00:44:42I'm fine, Dad.
00:44:43You want something to eat? We saved you some shepherd's pie.
00:44:48No, thanks.
00:44:49I'm not very hungry.
00:44:51You sure?
00:44:52We can heat it up in the micro.
00:44:54Thanks, Dad. Really?
00:44:57I ate already with the listen dingbat.
00:45:00Maybe later then.
00:45:02Hey.
00:45:10Are you lost, my little lambs?
00:45:13Confused?
00:45:14Don't know which way in this world to turn?
00:45:19Back in a flash.
00:45:21Damn.
00:45:37Damn.
00:45:42Godzilla?
00:45:43You there, man?
00:45:45Pick up.
00:45:46Pick up. Come on.
00:45:47Hey, you gotta help me out, man.
00:45:50I need the address for that party tonight at that Ju-J-Fruit dude's place.
00:45:55So when you get this message, leave the address on my machine and I'll beep in.
00:46:01Thanks, Holmes.
00:46:02Once we get there, I'm gonna rip Ju-J-Fruit's balls off and wear them as beef earrings.
00:46:07I'm not gonna go with those shoes, you low-rent whore.
00:46:10There was a crystal.
00:46:11Yes.
00:46:12Who's got the crystal?
00:46:13Well, did you get the address?
00:46:16You are a drunk pig.
00:46:18Didn't I tell you?
00:46:19I'm Robert.
00:46:20You're a glue.
00:46:20Don't worry about a thing, babe.
00:46:22Hold on.
00:46:23You're the best.
00:46:24Recovery?
00:46:27Mel?
00:46:29Butthead hog bitch Lucifer?
00:46:36Anybody here?
00:46:45Ow!
00:46:46Ow!
00:46:54Look, Kareem.
00:47:13Dude.
00:47:19Ow!
00:47:19Ow!
00:47:19Ow!
00:47:24my fellow children of god will you do me this one teeny little old favor
00:47:42wherever you are put down whatever it is you're doing and close your eyes come on do it with me
00:47:48now don't be shy nobody's watching close your eyes shut them tight now along with me think about heaven
00:47:57concentrate get a full color widescreen picture in your mind ain't it nice ain't it so downright
00:48:10beautiful just feel it feel that white pure holy light cascade into your veins course into your body
00:48:21and soul praise sweet jesus wow does that make you feel so much better just thinking about going
00:48:33straight to heaven doesn't it make you feel so gosh darn good inside
00:48:40eternal everlasting salvation it is yours people all yours and all you have to do is believe
00:48:50believe do you believe my fellow children of god what's that i can't hear you brothers and sisters
00:49:00i cannot hear you brothers and sisters
00:49:05i cannot hear you brothers and sisters it's like i got cotton balls stuck in my ears
00:49:13you at home you gotta help me out you gotta let me know you gotta let jesus know
00:49:20louder brothers and sisters let jesus hear your proud strong magnificent voices roar
00:49:29snail
00:49:42so
00:49:47you are such the driving talent
00:49:49ay loser
00:49:54why right
00:49:55where's montgomery
00:49:58Everybody else is free.
00:50:00We can't wait around for him all friggin' night.
00:50:02I saw him in the locker room a while ago.
00:50:03Did you check in there?
00:50:04What's the matter, Dark?
00:50:06Isn't that his cross?
00:50:09What, did he get bored and go home or something?
00:50:12That guy is so capital L-A-M-E.
00:50:15I bet we migrate to the party, okay?
00:50:17The keg's already extinct, I'm sure.
00:50:19Don't you think maybe we ought to wait for him?
00:50:22I mean, what if...
00:50:22He can hook up with us later.
00:50:24He knows the address.
00:50:24Besides, I don't know if it's the Stacy,
00:50:28but this place is starting to give me the heebies.
00:50:31I've got to make a call.
00:50:33I'll catch you guys here.
00:50:34Bye.
00:50:35See ya.
00:50:35Whatever.
00:50:44When are we stopping?
00:50:47We lost, Huggy Bear.
00:50:49Of course not.
00:50:51I'm just figuring out the shortcut route.
00:50:54Zero.
00:50:55It doesn't matter.
00:50:57I mean, I really don't care about that soggy old party.
00:51:00It probably sucks anyway.
00:51:01So we were gonna find it.
00:51:04I would never let you down.
00:51:08Your dream comes true.
00:51:15Okay, out!
00:51:17You heard me, Pinhead.
00:51:18Get out of the car before I perforate you!
00:51:21Please, it's my mom.
00:51:27She'll kill me!
00:51:27Well, tell her that the Ataris say,
00:51:30Thanks for the bitchin' wheels, bitch!
00:51:33Ha-ha!
00:51:34No, don't!
00:51:37No!
00:51:38Oh, cuddle puppy!
00:51:43Hey, Mr. Skvatsen.
00:51:45It's Cowboy.
00:51:47Is Barton?
00:51:47I can't understand.
00:51:53I can't understand.
00:51:53What?
00:51:56Speak English, please.
00:51:59Mr. Skvatsen.
00:52:01I can't understand.
00:52:02You speak English.
00:52:03It's Cowboy.
00:52:03It didn't hurt!
00:52:04It's Cowboy.
00:52:04No!
00:52:06He's Terry.
00:52:07Come on!
00:52:08It's Cowboy.
00:52:08Come on!
00:52:08It's Cowboy!
00:52:09Come on!
00:52:10It's Cowboy!
00:52:14What?
00:52:15Wait, I don't know what...
00:52:17I can't...
00:52:17I can't...
00:52:21Mrs. Skvatsen!
00:52:24Give me that!
00:52:25I'm full of hate, I want to kill.
00:52:29I'm full of hate.
00:52:30Crank it off, bitch!
00:52:31I'm hate, I want to kill.
00:52:33Crank it off!
00:52:34I'm hate! I want to kill!
00:52:36I want to kill!
00:52:38I want to kill!
00:52:40I want to kill!
00:52:42But I hope you come to us in your A.M.B.
00:52:45Is this us?
00:52:58Sure.
00:53:02Don't worry, Smushkins.
00:53:04I love you.
00:53:06Me too.
00:53:07Totally.
00:53:08But my mom is going to wire a car battery on my testicles.
00:53:20Hey, tadpoles.
00:53:22Want a ride?
00:53:23Yeah.
00:53:25Where are you headed?
00:53:26Well, there's this party at Judy Fritz.
00:53:30Cool.
00:53:38You ready?
00:53:41Assume the position.
00:53:45Oh, my God.
00:53:46Have you seen Alexis lately?
00:53:47She's getting, like, 50 pounds in one weight.
00:53:49I'm warned her not to stop doing crystals.
00:54:00Cool.
00:54:02What is cool?
00:54:04No, honey.
00:54:05Your tongue is cool.
00:54:06I am so polluted.
00:54:17Awesome.
00:54:26Judy Fritz, what party, amigo?
00:54:30What's up, handjob?
00:54:31Me, I'm up.
00:54:33Yeah, man.
00:54:33You got any more of those voice tranquilizer things in there?
00:54:35No, no, no, man.
00:54:36I took my supply before I came, but I have some cat to eat.
00:54:41Judy Fritz!
00:54:44So, like, location of a kegger?
00:54:45Um.
00:54:47Old Brewski brawl?
00:54:48Yeah, sure.
00:54:50Hey, baby.
00:54:52Think I stabbed the dog, dude.
00:54:54Get you a beer?
00:54:55A square million, too?
00:54:56Yeah, just grab as many as you can, kid.
00:54:57What am I, a freaking barmaid?
00:54:59Come with.
00:55:00Hi.
00:55:01Oh.
00:55:06Wow.
00:55:07Mel, we gotta talk.
00:55:09Yeah.
00:55:11I think we need to discuss our relationship.
00:55:14What relationship?
00:55:17Oh, dark.
00:55:19Baby, look.
00:55:19I just don't think this is the time or the place.
00:55:25Yo, Mel!
00:55:28Serbs, skis, subs.
00:55:30Same old, same old.
00:55:32Hey, Dirk.
00:55:34We haven't seen you since that time backstage at the palace.
00:55:37After the Gorgonad show?
00:55:39Yep.
00:55:40I think I'm trying to change it.
00:55:43Everything's coming out of danger.
00:55:45I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I don't think this is the time.
00:55:50I don't think this is the time.
00:55:52Yeah!
00:55:52Hurrah!
00:55:53Oh!
00:55:56You Tarzan!
00:55:57Me, Jane!
00:56:01Supersonic!
00:56:02Get off!
00:56:03Get off!
00:56:03Hey, isn't that your twin brother?
00:56:06Oh!
00:56:07Oh!
00:56:08Oh!
00:56:09Oh!
00:56:10Dad said for me to remind you to mow the lawn tomorrow.
00:56:17Tell Dad that you can kiss my grin and grin, Liz.
00:56:21No wonder I'm feeling so randy all of a sudden.
00:56:24There.
00:56:34Hey, you know Alonzo DeLosa?
00:56:37Dude never shuts up.
00:56:39He shagged his chick he met at Jones a couple weeks ago.
00:56:42And last Wednesday he woke up and his pecker was covered in itchy black puss oozing sores.
00:56:46Oh, about time.
00:56:49Bend over, robot.
00:56:50Where's Mel?
00:56:51Hey, you guys, Bob's here.
00:56:53Who's Bob?
00:56:54He's that hermaphrodite porn star who can screw himself.
00:56:57What's a hermaphrodite?
00:56:58Ducky man, phone call.
00:57:00It's your parental unit.
00:57:01Come on.
00:57:03Hello?
00:57:04Hello?
00:57:06Hey, cute.
00:57:07God jizz in your face.
00:57:12Ooh.
00:57:25Wait a second, Dad.
00:57:28I can't hear you.
00:57:29Where's Lucifer going?
00:57:42I got a leak.
00:57:45Oh.
00:57:45Major.
00:57:47Hey.
00:57:48Hey.
00:57:48Hey.
00:58:14Hey.
00:58:15Look, see.
00:58:16Hi.
00:58:18Hi.
00:58:20Hi.
00:58:24Um, your thing is out.
00:58:28Oh, sorry.
00:58:32Um, are you done?
00:58:34Oh, yeah.
00:58:36Except, well...
00:58:38Ew, repulso.
00:58:40Guess I'll have to use the other John.
00:58:44Excuse me.
00:58:48So you're gonna get with surf and ski tonight?
00:58:52I suppose.
00:58:54Mel, are we still together or what?
00:58:58Dark.
00:59:00I just wish things weren't so messed up and confusing, that's all.
00:59:10Can't we just leave this place?
00:59:12Can't we just leave this whole planet behind
00:59:14and forget about everybody and everything
00:59:16and just, like, be in love and stuff?
00:59:18Oh, Dark.
00:59:20Hello?
00:59:22Hello?
00:59:24Put the drugs away and open up.
00:59:26Dark.
00:59:28I...
00:59:30Look.
00:59:32Can we just deal with this later?
00:59:34Okay?
00:59:36Okay.
00:59:42I just really miss you, that's all.
00:59:44Hello?
00:59:46L.A.P.D.
00:59:47Can you hold on a minute?
00:59:52I gotta go pee.
00:59:54Hey, sis.
00:59:56What are you doing here?
00:59:58Hanging?
00:59:59I need air.
01:00:00Hey, Dark House Trix.
01:00:02Hey, Zero.
01:00:03Radical party, huh?
01:00:04Yeah, sure.
01:00:06Guys, slow down.
01:00:07I...
01:00:08I...
01:00:09I...
01:00:10I...
01:00:11I don't know how.
01:00:12What is...
01:00:13What is...
01:00:33It's...
01:00:35It...
01:00:36It's...
01:00:38It's your sister.
01:00:40What's wrong, Dad?
01:01:10Hey, Dark, have you seen Ducky?
01:01:15He disappeared.
01:01:17No.
01:01:19I think I'm gonna bail.
01:01:23How come?
01:01:26This party's about as fun as an ingrown butthair.
01:01:30No!
01:01:31No!
01:01:32No!
01:01:33No!
01:01:34No!
01:01:35Ah!
01:01:36Ducky!
01:01:38On!
01:01:39Yeah.
01:01:40Thank you again!
01:01:42What are you doing?
01:01:49I'm gonna get up!
01:01:52Look there!
01:01:55Look it's gonna fall down.
01:01:58Browsel!
01:01:59Groupging old, man!
01:02:08One with this, two with this, three with this, one with this.
01:02:16Jackie, give me your towel.
01:02:24Jackie.
01:02:38How would you like to sit on my face and cut a nice, big, juicy bar?
01:03:04Yo, Dark!
01:03:06Hey.
01:03:10What's happening, Handjob?
01:03:12No poontang, that's for sure.
01:03:17Mm, pardon my French.
01:03:20Hey, anything? Up, down, all around?
01:03:25No. Blowing.
01:03:29It's been a gnarly day.
01:03:31Oh, yeah?
01:03:32In the last 18 hours, I've seen four people get abducted by a space alien, watched Ducky try to drown himself, plus I spent like 387 bucks on CDs at Aaron's.
01:03:44Kick my mom.
01:03:45Hey, what CDs you scored?
01:03:48Hey, punk, remember me?
01:03:49When you sold the bad drugs, dude?
01:03:50When you ripped off?
01:03:51Oh, please, Alex, come on.
01:03:52Where's my money, huh?
01:03:54Hey, man, I got some stuff in the car.
01:03:56Killer stuff.
01:03:57It's yours.
01:03:58Gratis.
01:03:59Alex, don't!
01:04:04Stop it!
01:04:05Stop it!
01:04:10Come on!
01:04:11Come on, asshole!
01:04:12Come on!
01:04:13Come and get him!
01:04:14Come on, big man!
01:04:15Wait, let, stop.
01:04:33Oh my God, Elvis!
01:04:35Am I terrifying?
01:04:37Stop it!
01:04:38I'm coming with you!
01:04:39Elvis!
01:04:40Who'sThe?
01:04:43Stop!
01:04:44Stop! Stop!
01:04:47Stop it!
01:04:49Stop it!
01:04:51Stop it!
01:04:53Stop it!
01:04:55Stop it!
01:04:57Stop it!
01:04:59Stop it!
01:05:01Stop it!
01:05:03Stop it!
01:05:05Stop it!
01:05:07Stop it!
01:05:09And you should go down
01:05:11Dear diary, what a day.
01:05:15I swear I've never been so depressed, miserable and lonely in my entire life.
01:05:21It's like I know there's gotta be somebody out there somewhere.
01:05:26Just one person in this huge, horrible, unhappy universe
01:05:30who can hold me in their arms and tell me everything's gonna be okay.
01:05:37And how long do I have to wait before that person shows up?
01:05:41I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand.
01:05:46Watching everyone around me die a slow, agonizing death.
01:05:52It's like we all know,
01:05:55way down in our souls,
01:05:58that our generation is gonna witness the end of everything.
01:06:01You can see it in our eyes.
01:06:08It's in mine.
01:06:10Look.
01:06:13I'm doomed.
01:06:17I'm only 18 years old and I'm totally doomed.
01:06:31I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:06:33I found it here.
01:06:34You can see it.
01:06:35I'm sorry, I would've been 22 years old.
01:06:36I'm sorry, I've been in trouble.
01:06:37You can see it again.
01:06:38I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:06:39Do you remember?
01:06:40I'm sorry.
01:06:41Do you remember his head moving?
01:06:42Yeah.
01:06:43I know my head moving.
01:06:45I'm sorry.
01:06:46I've been in the middle of the Year.
01:06:47I've been in the middle of the Year.
01:06:48I can see it all the time.
01:06:50I can see it.
01:06:52There's no idea.
01:06:53I don't know.
01:07:23I don't know.
01:07:53Jesus!
01:07:54Oh.
01:07:55Oh.
01:07:56Oh.
01:07:57Oh.
01:07:58Oh.
01:07:59Oh.
01:08:00Oh.
01:08:08Montgomery.
01:08:09The weirdest thing just happened to me.
01:08:17Are you going to just stand there with your mouth banging open?
01:08:24Are you going to let me in?
01:08:26Sorry.
01:08:27Sorry.
01:08:28Thanks.
01:08:34So, like, what happened?
01:08:37Oh.
01:08:38Oh.
01:08:39Oh.
01:08:40Oh.
01:08:45So, like, what happened?
01:08:46What happened?
01:08:47I got kidnapped by space aliens.
01:08:56Really?
01:08:57And then what?
01:08:58Well, they did all these tests and experiments and stuff on me, and then I overheard them
01:09:08talking about their plan to take over the Earth.
01:09:11Then I escaped.
01:09:12No way.
01:09:13Why?
01:09:14Who can I?
01:09:15I feel strange.
01:09:16I think I'm catching a cold or something.
01:09:17Do you want to, um...
01:09:18Is it okay if I just rest here for a while?
01:09:31I'm suddenly, like, so tired.
01:09:33Sure.
01:09:34Well, aren't you gonna?
01:09:40Yeah.
01:09:45I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
01:10:01I mean, I know you and Mel are, like, whatever.
01:10:08Whatever is right.
01:10:11She's all...
01:10:14You know...
01:10:17It's...
01:10:18It's not like I'm gay or anything.
01:10:23I don't know.
01:10:25We kind of just met.
01:10:28But I...
01:10:30I really like you a lot.
01:10:35And I think about you.
01:10:40Me too.
01:10:43I mean...
01:10:45I feel the same about you.
01:10:47Like when I was trapped in the pod thing that the aliens held me captive in.
01:10:51And all I could think about is what if they'd kill me.
01:10:58And I'd never get to see you again.
01:11:01Sounds retarded and pathetic, I know.
01:11:04But all my life, I've been searching for one special person on this awful scary planet who I can love.
01:11:17Who loves me for what I am.
01:11:23That is so poetic.
01:11:41Is it okay if I spend the night?
01:11:44I really want to sleep next to you.
01:11:52Only if you promise...
01:11:54To never, ever leave me.
01:11:59Deal.
01:12:14To never, ever if you don't go up or want to die.
01:12:17No.
01:12:26Oh, man.
01:12:31Fucking lad...
01:12:33Nothing.
01:12:34Is there something the matter?
01:12:37Montgomery?
01:12:39Montgomery, what is it?
01:12:43Oh, bitch.
01:12:46Montgomery!
01:12:47Montgomery!
01:12:48Tell me what it is!
01:12:50Please!
01:12:52Montgomery!
01:12:54Montgomery!
01:12:56Oh, my God, stop!
01:13:00Montgomery!
01:13:01Montgomery!
01:13:04Montgomery!
01:13:11I'm out of here.
01:13:30Love, love, love, love.
01:13:34Me and my friend were walking
01:13:41In the cold last morning
01:13:47Tears may blind the eyes
01:13:51But the soul is not deceived
01:13:54In this world
01:13:56Even winter
01:13:58Ain't what it seems
01:14:01Here come the blue sky
01:14:04Here come the springtime
01:14:08When the rivers run high
01:14:10And the tears run dry
01:14:12When everything that dies
01:14:14When everything that dies
01:14:16Show us
01:14:19Love, love, love, love
01:14:23Is stronger
01:14:27Than dear
01:14:31Love, love, love
01:14:33Love, love, love
01:14:36Is stronger
01:14:40Than good
01:14:43In our lives we hunger
01:14:59In our lives we hunger
01:15:01In our lives we hunger
01:15:02For those we can't
01:15:07Prepare
01:15:07All the thoughts
01:15:10Unuttered
01:15:11And all the feelings
01:15:14Uninspired
01:15:15Play upon our hearts
01:15:19Like the mist
01:15:20On our breath
01:15:21That awoke
01:15:23By the green eye
01:15:25Spirits speak
01:15:28How could you believe
01:15:30That the light within the seed
01:15:33That grew arms
01:15:35That reached
01:15:37In a heart that beat
01:15:40And lips that smile
01:15:42And eyes that cry
01:15:44Could ever die
01:15:47Here come the blue sky
01:15:50Here come springtime
01:15:53When the rivers run high
01:15:56And the tears run dry
01:15:58When everything that dies
01:16:02Shall once love, love, love
01:16:09Be stronger than dear
01:16:16Love, love, love
01:16:22I stronger than dear
01:16:29Love, love, love
01:16:34Is stronger than dear
01:16:41Love, love, love
01:16:47Is stronger than dear
01:16:54Love, love, love
01:17:00Is stronger than dear
01:17:06Love, love, love
01:17:12Is stronger than dear
01:17:18It's stronger than dear
01:17:27It's stronger than dear
01:17:28It's stronger than dear
01:17:30It's stronger than dear
01:17:31It's stronger than dear
01:17:32It's stronger than dear
01:17:33It's stronger than dear
01:17:34It's stronger than dear
01:17:35It's stronger than dear
01:17:36It's stronger than dear
01:17:37It's stronger than dear
01:17:38It's stronger than dear
01:17:39It's stronger than dear
01:17:40It's stronger than dear
01:17:41It's stronger than dear
01:17:42It's stronger than dear
01:17:43No!

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