- 3 months ago
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00:00Slice so fucking ripped, dude.
00:06Jesus Christ, look at those veins.
00:08Due respect to Arnold, but he's overbombed.
00:11It's not sustainable.
00:12But Rambo's got working muscles.
00:14The muscles you get building monasteries in Thailand to atone for your sins.
00:19The type of muscles you get stick fighting dudes in Bangkok for fun.
00:25And he rocks the fuck out of those bangs, too.
00:27Oh, shit, kiddo. You don't have to tell me.
00:30And he wasn't afraid to flash a little caboose in First Blood, too, either.
00:37Hey, keep it clean, man.
00:40Shit.
00:41I'll keep it any way I like.
00:43Goddamn.
00:43And what I like is an action hero that's got the balls to show his tight tookus on camera.
00:49Arnold did it, too. You gotta give him that.
00:51He did.
00:52And Van Damme, almost as a rule, Seagal never did.
00:58That pear-shaped poser never had tight tookus.
01:01Oh, you'd kick the shit out of Prime Seagal, pumpkin.
01:04Fucking A, I would, man.
01:06Shit.
01:07He's a commie now, by the way.
01:08Mm-hmm.
01:09Is that your, uh, Pilates instructor friend?
01:15Mm-hmm.
01:15Plan on seeing her again before you ship out?
01:18Nah, it's casual.
01:20Like, purely sexual.
01:21I know what casual is, dipshit.
01:24I just thought, you know, you might look for something a little more substantial.
01:29It's a little bit of a hard target in my line of work, Mom.
01:33You know, I'm here one day, I'm off to Cannon for a top-secret joint special off the next.
01:37It's, you know how it goes.
01:40I sure do.
01:44Hey, you ready for more nachos?
01:46You know it.
01:48Mm!
01:51Fuck yeah!
01:52Rambo's the shit, Mom!
01:54Why is this guy not our president?
02:01Oof.
02:05This isn't your war.
02:07It is now.
02:15Oh, come on, Mom.
02:16You're gonna make the nachos soggy.
02:18Oh.
02:20Come on.
02:21Oh, no.
02:22Oh, I'll be back before you know it.
02:27Not a scratch on me.
02:29Damn well, better.
02:35Is everybody okay?
02:37Maya?
02:39I'm alive.
02:40I think.
02:42Paul, what happened?
02:44Paul!
02:47Oh, shit.
02:50The console's destroyed.
02:51He's alive.
02:52He's got a pulse.
02:54How the fuck that crash didn't wake him up, though?
02:56How the fuck does he still have a heart on?
02:59Com check.
03:00Anyone getting this?
03:02Negative.
03:03Gomez, anything?
03:04Pride.
03:05My tablet.
03:06Oh, thank God.
03:08Vulture's radio's dead.
03:10I'm not getting any service.
03:12No signal.
03:13What the hell?
03:14Oh.
03:15Oh.
03:16Fuck.
03:17Fuck.
03:18What?
03:19I-I got no signal, either.
03:20Shut up.
03:21Lerner!
03:22Check your phone for service.
03:24Excuse me.
03:25Okay.
03:26Game over, man.
03:27My fucking phone's busted.
03:28What the fuck was that, Paul?
03:29What was what?
03:30You destroyed the fucking console.
03:31What?
03:32Why?
03:33So I'm fucking asking you.
03:34All right.
03:35All right.
03:36Back off.
03:37You might have a head injury.
03:38I'm sorry.
03:39You couldn't have a cellar.
03:40What was what?
03:41You destroyed the fucking console!
03:42What?
03:43Why?
03:44So I'm fucking asking you.
03:45All right.
03:46All right.
03:47Back off.
03:48Fuck.
03:49You might have a head injury.
03:58Jesus.
03:59Your pupils are saucers.
04:01Where are we?
04:02We're in the middle of the desert.
04:03We crash landed.
04:04Shland did.
04:07Wait, he did?
04:09Hey, he's high as a kite.
04:11I thought Paul didn't do drugs.
04:13He doesn't.
04:15No alcohol, no fat, no fun.
04:17There is definitely fun in his system right now.
04:21My daughter's in Vegas.
04:23And some fat.
04:24He said he ate a bowl of guac at the party.
04:26What guac?
04:27What?
04:28I don't understand the question.
04:29I was not eating it.
04:31It was gross.
04:32It had pineapple in it.
04:35Fuck it, Haggerty.
04:37Haggerty what?
04:38His bomb guac is notorious
04:40because he laces it with acid, shrooms, and pineapple.
04:43Oh, my God.
04:45Look, he's on the magic bus so he runs out of gas.
04:48Let's focus.
04:49We need to get to the Russian compound,
04:51find the nuke, and rescue truck ASAP.
04:53Now, we're a few miles outside of the objective.
04:55We continue on foot.
04:57On foot?
04:58Won't they know that we've crashed and send, like, backup?
05:01We can't track the vulture and stealth about it.
05:04Or I don't know.
05:07Yo, fall in, you trippy fuck.
05:10Paul, pulleta.
05:11Paul?
05:12Paul!
05:13Paul!
05:14Paul!
05:14Who the fuck is he?
05:16Should we spread out and look for him?
05:19In partners, maybe?
05:20No.
05:21There's no time.
05:22We have to get to the compound ASAP.
05:24Paul has survival training.
05:25Let's hope it overcomes Haggerty's psychedelic chip dip.
05:29So we're just going to leave him?
05:33Here.
05:34This will help with navigation.
05:35Stole it off the console.
05:37Here, let me take the lead.
05:39Relax.
05:40Just a compass.
05:42Ready?
05:43Ready.
05:44Let's do it.
05:46Maya, we gotta go.
05:47Let's go.
05:48This mission fucking sucks.
05:50Get your comrades.
06:20To drop their guns and open the gate.
06:22Or I'll blow your brains out through your fucked up ear.
06:26Is not yet his final answer?
06:45I'm not going to ask again.
06:56Head back along our approach vector to where we saw that military chopper go down.
07:05Make sure there are no survivors.
07:07Take Poncho.
07:08Shoot to kill.
07:09If anyone's still alive out there, it won't be for much longer.
07:14Shall we?
07:18Let's go, sugar.
07:24I'm going to be looking after you.
07:31What the fuck is happening?
07:35This is a long haul, Chief, and my body water percentage has got to be in the single digits
07:40by now.
07:41Won't be much good to the big fella if we're out of steam by the time we get there.
07:48Yo, you and Trunk have been acting squirrelly as fuck around each other ever since the party.
07:53You want to tell me what's going on or just keep Brutton?
08:00Alright.
08:01This is classified.
08:02At the party, Trunk said he wanted to talk to me about something important.
08:07And I found out where it was.
08:10He's into dudes.
08:12I walked in on him in the shower with one of the circus guys.
08:16Okay.
08:17So now you know.
08:21Maybe you can help me figure out who these new players are.
08:24Anyone with the money, tactical resources to go toe-to-toe with Kosov has got to be on our radar somewhere.
08:31Why aren't they?
08:32I guess someone's not so intelligent, s-after all.
08:37What?
08:38It's a play on words.
08:40Read a book.
08:41You done?
08:42Are you?
08:43Alright, Lerner.
08:44I'm only gonna say this once.
08:45McKnight was a drunken mistake.
08:47And none of your fucking business.
08:49So cut the jealous junior high bullshit and get your head in the game.
08:52You have a job to do.
08:53You're having sex in junior high.
08:56What the fuck you mean you knew?
08:58Well, man, it's not like he came out to me or anything.
09:00He just didn't hide it.
09:02Well, why would he have it for me?
09:03I don't know.
09:04Maybe he thought you wouldn't be cool with it.
09:06What?
09:07He knows I'm cool with you and he knows I love Queen and Top Gun.
09:12What the fuck, man?
09:14What, you pussies need a break?
09:16Fine, fine.
09:18I'll happily take lead for a bit.
09:20We'll be right on your heels.
09:22I love the shit out of you, Mac.
09:25Well, you know, the minute you let eyes on Trump,
09:27you saw a beefier version of yourself in all the ways.
09:30And he idolizes you.
09:32So when you're always talking about getting pussy
09:35and you just assume he's gonna wanna be your wingman,
09:37what is he supposed to do?
09:39Shit.
09:42I do talk about pussy a lot.
09:44Oh, shit.
09:46Winters, you good?
09:47I am.
09:48We may not be.
09:50Oh, fuck.
09:52You gotta be kidding me.
09:54God damn it, Paul.
09:56He finally gets fucked up and he ends up fucking us all.
10:00Anyone know how to move a mountain?
10:03Here you go, Jen!
10:04I'm on my way!
10:05Oh!
10:06Oh!
10:07Oh!
10:08Oh!
10:09Oh!
10:10Oh!
10:11Oh!
10:12Oh!
10:13Oh!
10:14Oh!
10:15Oh!
10:16Oh!
10:17Oh!
10:18Oh!
10:19Oh!
10:20Oh!
10:21Oh!
10:22Oh!
10:23Oh!
10:24Oh!
10:25Hey, it's Jen.
10:26Don't leave a message.
10:27Don't leave a message.
10:30She's at Caesars?
10:31What the?
10:32Oh!
10:33Oh!
10:34Jen!
10:35No!
10:36You don't wanna come to me!
10:38aire capitallook She's at Caesars?
10:40What the?
10:42Oh.
10:43Oh.
10:44Oh.
10:45Oh!
10:46No.
10:48No.
10:49Fuck!
11:19Let's go!
11:25We're going to get you.
11:31Don't worry, Vladislav.
11:33I'm sure it's just a Siberian Sunday stroll in there for your boys.
11:37Oh, no. It's better than the alternative.
11:40What is the alternative?
11:49Why don't you take a picture, you fucking creep?
12:04It'll last longer.
12:09Fuck you! You fucking fuck me!
12:19Wake up!
12:25Wake up!
12:27Wake up!
12:29It's your command, but you're in my world now, and I am telling you,
12:33it will take fucking forever to drag Haggerty over this shit,
12:37and it's gonna take even longer to go around.
12:39Agreed.
12:40And we're about a click away from that compound as a crow flask.
12:43Without that raft, Gomez and me can get over there pretty fucking fast.
12:47And then what?
12:49Yeah.
12:50Yeah. We don't even know who we're dealing with.
12:52Strategic calls will need to be made, and you're not equipped to do that.
12:55So I am going over with you.
12:57Gomez and Maya will take Haggerty around.
13:00You fucking kidding me, right?
13:02Not even a little.
13:03Trunks on the other side of this thing going through God knows what.
13:06We're low on resources and time, and you want to send your marine sniper
13:09who's trained for exactly this kind of shit show
13:11to babysit Deadway along the scenic route?
13:14I know you want to get Trunk back.
13:15I want to get him back, too. Lana as well.
13:17Great. So let's leave Haggerty here and let's go get him.
13:19I'm not leaving our bomb tech alone in the middle of the fucking desert.
13:23You left Paul alone.
13:25Paul was conscious.
13:27Haggerty is the only person who can disarm the nuke.
13:31Once we have it secured, all right, it's priority number one.
13:34We fucked that up. Nothing else matters.
13:36You have your orders.
13:40You're gonna need this more than me.
13:42I'm not a problem.
13:43You too.
13:44Good luck, tech chick.
13:50Are you injured?
13:51No. I fucking cut my hand in the crash.
13:55Let's get moving. Try to keep up.
13:57Let's take off on an adventure.
14:07Let's take off at Supreme.
14:11Good evening, sir.
14:15Welcome to Caesars.
14:19Any special instructions for this or...
14:21Keep it.
14:23You're coming up at the hospital.
14:25I'm going to get to the hospital.
14:26All right?
14:27You're in that hospital.
14:28I'm coming up.
14:29You did not go away.
14:31I'm coming up.
14:32You guys are coming up.
14:35While we're at the ward of the prison.
14:38And the town is moving.
14:39And the family is moving.
14:40The church is moving on.
14:41I'm coming up.
14:43You're in the city.
14:44And the family is moving on.
14:46The family is moving on.
14:49The family is moving on.
14:52Whoa, big winners.
15:00Congrats, oh geez, that's a fat sack.
15:02Hey, fan me out, fan me out.
15:04Hey, congrats, y'all.
15:13Yo, what the fuck?
15:15Where is my daughter?
15:16How should I know where your daughter is, cuz?
15:18I don't even know who you are.
15:20Jen, where is Jen?
15:22Oh, your chin's sad.
15:24It's all good, Pops.
15:26She's up in our end.
15:27Take me there.
15:29Now.
15:30Okay.
15:34Captain Young.
15:36Yes?
15:38No sound or a shoot kidney.
15:40Very painful.
15:41You know, like.
15:43Understand?
15:50Come now.
15:52Both of you.
15:54Hey, yo.
15:55Party foul.
15:57Hey, hey.
15:58Watch the jacket, bro.
16:08I thought we were supposed to be going around.
16:11This is barely an incline, man.
16:12The fuck up.
16:13I'm sorry, okay?
16:19I'm sorry you have to babysit this dead weight.
16:27Look.
16:29I shouldn't have called you dead weight, all right?
16:31I only said that because...
16:33You are.
16:35I'm just worried about Trunk and pissed at Winters for porking my program.
16:39She's probably trying to park McKnight right now.
16:42Yeah, well, she's dreaming if she thinks she's going to milk another hate fuck out of that thing.
16:47Hate fuck?
16:48That's all it was?
16:49According to him, yeah.
16:51One and done.
16:52That's how we roll.
16:52Oh, oh, shit.
17:00You wanted to smash pissers with Mac.
17:03Smash what?
17:04Yeah.
17:05Ew, no.
17:06No, stop it.
17:07Stop.
17:07Okay, maybe.
17:08I mean, have you seen those apps?
17:12Of course I have.
17:13Guy never met a shirt he didn't want to peel off.
17:16But listen, he's way the fuck ahead of us now with only Winters for backup.
17:19So unless you want them to have all the fun, get your ass moving.
17:22Let's go.
17:23Vamos.
17:27Oh, shit.
17:28Pockerty.
17:29Can you check your phone?
17:39There might be service up this high.
17:43Negative.
17:45Fuck.
17:46You're supposed to check in Langdon on the hour.
17:48It's already half past.
17:50It's liable.
17:51It's expect the worst.
17:53Fucking A.
17:54Send in the rest of my SEAL.
17:56Send in the Marines.
17:56Send in the fucking Space Force.
17:59If he sends in anyone without knowing the score,
18:01they might spook our new friends into setting off the fucking nuke.
18:04We don't know the first thing about them or their agenda.
18:08They're ex-military.
18:10Most definitely ours.
18:11What makes you say that?
18:13The way they fought.
18:16Their ex-fail covers by our book.
18:19Yeah.
18:20I'm more than just a pretty face.
18:23And I would know a hell of a lot more, too,
18:24if you would let me take Litvin when I want it.
18:27Or you would have gotten nothing out of them.
18:30We'd have no intel on this new faction.
18:34No fucking clue where the nuke is.
18:36And we'd be worse off than we are right now.
18:39Guess again.
18:42Fuck me.
18:43We tried that already.
18:45Didn't get us anywhere.
18:46Where are we?
18:57In a sauna.
18:58I'm pretty sure we're at the Russians' home base.
19:01Those other guys kidnapped us and locked us in here.
19:04Oh, shit.
19:04I'm sorry.
19:06It's okay.
19:08I know I'm not your type.
19:09What?
19:11You aren't?
19:12You haven't eye-fucked me once since we met.
19:16More than I can say for your commando buddies.
19:20Huh.
19:21Ain't that some shit?
19:23We just met.
19:24You already know things about me
19:25that my best friend just learned about tonight.
19:28By accident.
19:29Oh.
19:30That's why he was being so weird earlier?
19:32He's trying a bit too hard
19:33to prove he's cool with it.
19:36He's not?
19:39McKnight just
19:40looks at things and people
19:43through a narrow scope.
19:47But I can count on one thing.
19:50He's not gonna leave us in here to die.
19:52Rescue ops underway as we speak.
19:54I can guarantee that.
19:56About that.
19:57They already came after us in your helicopter.
19:59It crashed.
20:05No.
20:08We've been through worse
20:09and made it out on the other side.
20:10We're gonna get through this.
20:12All of us.
20:14Careful.
20:14There's this pervy guard
20:15that comes by every few minutes
20:16to keep an eye on us.
20:17Mostly me.
20:18Well, it's clear from now.
20:28It's okay.
20:29It was actually a really good try.
20:39We're not gonna die in here.
20:51Incredible.
20:52You must send my regards
20:54to Mr. Kozlov
20:55if you live to see him again.
20:57I am the only one
21:03with the entry group.
21:05So now what will you do?
21:08Have your men break me for it?
21:11Or you can negotiate
21:12as businessmen.
21:15Hmm.
21:16Quite a pickle.
21:17Hmm.
21:18But I've got a third option in mind.
21:21Give me Mr. Dugan.
21:23Yes, sir.
21:26Where is Vladislav Litvin?
21:31You know him.
21:32Russian.
21:33This high.
21:35One year.
21:37Not so good.
21:41Ow!
21:42Fuck, man!
21:46Tell me where your team
21:47is holding Vlad
21:48and I punch no more.
21:52I don't know any Vlad Litvin.
21:57I'm not on any team.
21:58Please.
22:00We spot American military
22:01from so many kilometers away.
22:04Kilometers like miles.
22:06But makes sense.
22:07So stop telling lies.
22:10Hey, uh, he's not lying, guy.
22:12He's just here to find his daughter.
22:14I'm her boyfriend.
22:15I mean, we don't like to put labels on it.
22:17We're dabbling in poly...
22:18Oh!
22:21Daughter.
22:23I bring her here.
22:25You start telling some truth,
22:27I think.
22:27I can only a sweet,
22:48you motherfucker.
22:53I've been a long time.
22:54Yeah.
23:00Ow! Can you stop?
23:11You are fucking dead!
23:24Oh, face!
23:29Kick him in the dick, dude! The dick!
23:37No!
23:50Bro!
23:54Oh, yes!
24:07You know what we can use right now?
24:09What's that?
24:10Helicopter.
24:11Ha.
24:12You ready?
24:14Do I have a choice?
24:16No.
24:17Sucks, doesn't it?
24:19Can you see the ground?
24:20Not from here, but I'm sure it's down there somewhere.
24:24I'm gonna suss out a safe route.
24:27All you gotta do is follow it, hold for hold.
24:29Yeah, that's one way to get a look out my dress.
24:31Nothing I haven't seen already.
24:32Fair enough.
24:33All right, let's do this.
24:35Ava, hang on!
24:36You're gonna be all right!
24:37I can't hang on.
24:38Oh, fuck.
24:39McKnight, I'm slipping.
24:40Ava, I got you!
24:41Ava, I got you!
24:42Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:44Oh!
24:45Oh!
24:46Oh!
24:47I can't hang on.
24:48Oh, fuck.
24:49McKnight, I'm slipping.
24:50Ava, I got you!
24:51Aaaaah!
24:52Aaaaaah!
24:53Aaaaah!
24:54Aaaaah!
24:55Uh.
24:56Oh!
24:57Oh!
24:58Mmm.
25:00Aaaaah!
25:01Fuck me.
25:03We tried that already?
25:05Uh?
25:06Didn't get us anywhere?
25:07Oh, Jesus.
25:16You're leaking.
25:17Oh, my gosh.
25:19Oh, nothing crashed.
25:21It's no big whoop.
25:22Uh, some big whoop.
25:24We got to get it out and close you up before you bleed to death.
25:26There's nothing we can do out here.
25:27We got to keep moving.
25:32Hands to the sky, fuck sticks.
25:34Who the hell are you?
25:36And what y'all doing on my property?
25:39Oh, shit.
25:43And you think I'm dead weight?
25:46Thank God.
25:49I cleaned his ass.
25:52What?
25:53Long story.
25:55You know, you should just go on without me.
25:59I can stay here with Haggerty in the raft.
26:01Then you'll be free to marine raid the crap out of that Russian compound.
26:04Mom, this is a room.
26:05It's not like Titanic exists.
26:07Girl, I'm taking a nap.
26:08Wait till you get back.
26:10No deal, learner.
26:10Off your ass.
26:11Let's go.
26:12What for?
26:14There's nothing I can do without my tablet or my phone or my laptop.
26:18Just like there's nothing I can do to stop Lipvin on Fremont Street.
26:20I'm just tech chick.
26:23Without any tech.
26:25I'm just chick.
26:28Yeah, well, I miss Lipvin too.
26:30And I had a shot at the guy who grabbed Trump.
26:34But my eyes were doing too much of a Molly dance to take it.
26:37So you're not the only one who came up short back there.
26:41Comins, I didn't know.
26:42I'm sorry.
26:44Shit happens.
26:46You move on.
26:48Which is what we should be doing.
26:50So hop two.
26:51Okay.
26:57Linda!
26:59You okay?
27:00I think so.
27:02Where am I?
27:03I don't know.
27:04Must be some old mining shaft.
27:06Can you get out?
27:07I can't see anything.
27:08I can't see anything.
27:13Ugh.
27:14Fuck.
27:15It skinned my knee.
27:18Gomez?
27:21Hello?
27:25Heads up!
27:26You hear that?
27:41Koyote?
27:43Hope not.
27:45Hmm.
27:46No visual contact yet.
27:48We might have heard signs of life.
27:49Okay, well.
27:51Hunt him down.
27:52Ah.
27:53There he is.
27:55Mr. Dugan.
27:56This is Vlad.
27:57Vlad is a businessman.
27:59Vlad, this is Mr. Dugan.
28:01He's my explosives expert.
28:03You are going to blow the door.
28:05Are you insane?
28:07Insane.
28:08Depends on who you ask.
28:10But dedicated to my objective and out of patience,
28:15absolutely.
28:16Absolutely.
28:25Not enough for you?
28:33Come in and find out.
28:36Oh, so you just want to fuck me all of a sudden, huh?
28:39Honestly, at this point, I'd fuck you just for the fresh air you bring in when you open that door.
28:43Oh, yeah?
28:47Convince me.
28:54How's this?
29:01You like that?
29:02Don't worry about him.
29:08He's worthless.
29:08He's worthless.
29:09Just a heads up.
29:27I'm going to enjoy this.
29:30A lot more than you.
29:31You never know.
29:37You call me worthless?
29:42Sorry.
29:44That's what you get?
29:44They're thinking with your dick.
29:46You ready?
29:47Yeah.
29:48Stay behind me.
29:52Go, Liz!
29:53Hurry!
29:54They're creeping crawling all over me!
29:55I'm going as fast as I can.
29:58I think you're attracted to the stildo light.
30:02It's a Roth learner.
30:03Grab it!
30:04Oh, shit.
30:05Okay.
30:06Pull me up.
30:07Pull me up!
30:08I can't.
30:08There's no leverage.
30:09You're going to tie it around you like a belt,
30:11and you're going to walk yourself up the wall of the pit while I brace you.
30:15Walk myself up the wall?
30:17Who am I?
30:17Spider-Man?
30:18Yeah, obviously not.
30:19But unless you want to die down there, get moving.
30:22Get it tight and put your feet up flat against the side.
30:25And lean back as far as you can.
30:31That's it!
30:37Get your shit together, learner.
30:39You're a key fucking member of an elite fucking team
30:42and the best fucking hacker in the world.
30:44If you can climb to the top of that food chain,
30:47you can climb out of this fucking pit.
30:53That's what I'm talking about!
30:55That's what I'm talking about!
30:56Yeah!
30:57Come on, that shit!
30:58That's what I'm talking about!
30:59That's what I'm talking about!
31:00Fuck yeah!
31:01Holy shit!
31:02I'm alive!
31:03Hey!
31:04You're stronger than you think.
31:05No more tripping, no more bitching, and no more self-pitying.
31:07Ready?
31:08I was born ready.
31:09I doubt you were.
31:10Reborn.
31:11I've been reborn ready.
31:12Thank you for splitting on me.
31:13It's okay.
31:14You're okay.
31:15You're okay.
31:16You're okay.
31:17Oh, Christ almighty!
31:18It's about time.
31:19Y'all can make googly eyes at each other later.
31:20We have a deal.
31:21Do you not remember this?
31:22I let you.
31:23You're ready.
31:24I'm sorry.
31:25I was born ready.
31:26I was born ready.
31:27I know you are.
31:28Reborn.
31:29I've been reborn ready.
31:31Thank you for splitting on me.
31:36It's okay.
31:39You're okay.
31:45Oh, Christ almighty, it's about time.
31:47Y'all can make googly eyes at each other later.
31:49We have a deal. Do you not remember this?
31:51I let you fix the stud,
31:54and then you answer my motherfucking questions.
31:57Now, what the fuck y'all doing way the fuck out here?
32:00Stud, you spying on me?
32:02Stud, that's what she calls me.
32:10We're getting hitched tomorrow,
32:12so we decided to treat ourselves
32:14to a moonlight helicopter tour tonight,
32:17and something went haywire, and I guess we crash-landed.
32:20Oh, will you please shut the fuck up?
32:22Listen, you are a sexy slab of beef,
32:25but you're full of shit.
32:29Your turn, sweet tits.
32:32We're part of a covert special forces team
32:42in pursuit of Russian arms dealers
32:43who smuggled a nuke into the country,
32:46and yes, our chopper did crash,
32:48so we're continuing on foot,
32:50because even though I am half drunk
32:53and he is fully drunk and high,
32:55we're the only people on the planet
32:56who can keep it from getting blown to hell.
33:00I fucking knew it.
33:03Oh, them commie bastards,
33:04they just don't know when to quit, now do they?
33:06Ha-ha!
33:10Crazy Susan?
33:12At your service!
33:13Did you say crazy Susan?
33:15Yes.
33:15Max's husband used to call me that,
33:17so I am reclaiming that shit.
33:19Stud, that wound gonna fester
33:21if you don't get some disinfectant on it.
33:23Stand fast, soldier!
33:27Uh, well, you read her like a book.
33:31It's kind of what I do.
33:33Noted.
33:35Uh, I wouldn't have guessed
33:36battlefield surgery is something you do, too.
33:39Would you pick that up?
33:40Battlefield.
33:42They don't all look the same, you know?
33:44Fair enough.
33:48Yeah, that's gonna leave a nightly scar.
33:51Don't beat yourself up about it, chicks dig them.
33:53Maybe I should just let you bleed out instead.
33:57Nah, you would miss our repartee.
34:04Winters.
34:05What?
34:09Oh.
34:11You're welcome.
34:11Just fucking glad you're all right.
34:15And, you know,
34:16it's the least I can do
34:17after what you did for me
34:18on that cliff.
34:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:20I saved your life,
34:21you saved my life.
34:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:25Homemade shine.
34:26Old family recipe.
34:28Pour some of that on your gut.
34:30Or...
34:30pour it in your guts.
34:33Whatever blows that golden hair back.
34:36I disinfect from the inside out.
34:39Bob!
34:39Susan, I really need to get in touch with my boss.
34:45Any chance you have a phone?
34:46Fuck no, I don't have no fucking phone.
34:48You think I'm gonna let the government tap my shit?
34:51Oh.
34:51I do have a CB radio,
34:53but all you can raise on that is
34:55long-haul truckers who want to get a wank.
34:58If you're into that sort of thing,
35:00I am into that sort of thing.
35:02Cool.
35:03Copy.
35:04Thank you so much for your hospitality.
35:05We should get to it.
35:07Can you move?
35:07Goodness knew.
35:09But we're low and low on firepower.
35:12And I see us.
35:14Are you willing to donate that Remington to our cause?
35:18Oh, shit, hell.
35:20I do better than that.
35:21Boo-yah.
35:30Holy shit, it's Rampo's wet dream.
35:34Where the hell did you get all this stuff?
35:35Fuck yes.
35:37Give him a motherfucking rooster's arse!
35:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude!
35:57I put this on my mom's MasterCard.
36:00Ding.
36:01I always get multiples in Vegas.
36:03You never know who,
36:03you might want to join the party.
36:04Am I right?
36:04They trashed the place.
36:17To be honest, dog,
36:18it was mostly us.
36:19Oh, man!
36:33They broke my fuckswing.
36:36I had the shit make custom.
36:43Say another fucking word,
36:44and I'll choke you to death with it now.
36:45Oh, God.
36:59Come on.
36:59Hey, Big Papa, what's wrong?
37:25They took Jen. You fucking idiot.
37:32Shit. Where?
37:37The Russian's phone.
37:40Yuri, we're at the syndicate. I have the girl. Bring the father and the moron to me.
37:46Yuri, you there? Fuck.
37:50What's the syndicate?
37:51Oh, it's an old-timey Vegas gangster vibe late-night spot?
37:54Yeah, just off the strip, like a block from here.
37:56Go downstairs and call the police.
37:58Check Jen.
37:59Oh, what you gonna do?
38:02I'm gonna get my daughter back.
38:06Am I talking to you?
38:11Why didn't you just kill me?
38:21Who knows how many men they have in this place?
38:23We gotta get out before they know we're gone and call them back up.
38:26We can't risk men discovered.
38:28I'm talking to you.
38:50So, let's go.
39:20Why are you stopping? It's just right in front of us.
39:24Wait.
39:29You are beloved, am I?
39:32Or are you simply underestimating my resolve?
39:35Again.
39:35You risk setting of the nuke and killing my soul.
39:39Not if you give me the door code, then I can just walk in and take it.
39:43It's your call. I'm good either way.
39:46The nuke is here.
39:48Okay, new plan.
39:49I'm going to go down, take all those guys out, secure the weapon.
39:53You get the fuck out of here and call for backup.
39:55No, I'm not going anywhere alone.
39:57Shh.
39:58If you're staying, so am I.
40:00You stick with me.
40:03Okay.
40:04But you stay behind me the entire time.
40:06I live my life.
40:24It ain't the fastest rig on two wheels, but it'll get you there quicker than two feet.
40:43Thank you, CS.
40:45We owe you one.
40:48Highlight of my week.
40:49Oh, shit.
40:50Stay cool, homie.
40:53You're letting me drive?
40:54Relax. Just the bike.
40:57Thank you, Susan.
40:58Go get him, you sexy motherfuckers!
41:01Runnin' with the devil.
41:13Runnin' with the devil.
41:14Runnin' with the devil.
41:29Oh, no!
41:31They're kids!
41:37Dad!
41:39Dad!
41:41Help me!
41:47What the hell is that?
41:49Who are they shooting at?
41:51Us. On me.
41:53Stay alone. Come on.
41:59Dad!
42:01Dad!
42:03Dad!
42:05Maya, come on.
42:07Dad!
42:13Dad!
42:15Dad!
42:17Dad!
42:19Dad!
42:21Dad!
42:23Dad!
42:25Dad!
42:27Dad!
42:28Dad!
42:38Now you die.
42:40But first, I make you watch me shoot your daughter in the face.
42:48No! My dude!
42:54Fuck yeah, fam!
42:56Never!
42:58I'm here.
43:00Baby, it's okay. I'm here, baby.
43:02I'm here.
43:03I'm here.
43:04I'm here.
43:05I'm here.
43:06Well, that would be a first.
43:07Wouldn't it?
43:09Where were you when we were taking prom photos?
43:12Where have you been my entire fucking life?
43:14I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
43:16I'm sorry.
43:17I'm sorry.
43:18I'm not gonna be here.
43:19I love you.
43:20I lew his dad.
43:21Thanks.
43:22Youas!
43:24What the fuck, dude?
43:26Jenny, where, what is, what's happening?
43:44Paul, are you okay, buddy?
43:48Matt?
43:56Hell yeah!
43:58And you found Captain AWOL.
44:02You guys alright?
44:04We heard gunfire.
44:05Us too.
44:06Paul.
44:07You okay, bud?
44:09Where's Jen?
44:10Who's Jen?
44:11His daughter.
44:12Hey, Paul.
44:13Remember that guacamole you ate?
44:15Turns out it contained large quantities of psilocybin and LSD, so you're most likely experiencing extremely vivid and lucid hallucinations.
44:23You're tripping balls, bud.
44:25I'm not in Vegas.
44:27No.
44:28You're in the desert.
44:29That's okay.
44:30We're gonna take care of you, alright?
44:32But I stole an ATV.
44:33I drove it to Vegas.
44:35He emptied the whole mic.
44:37What the hell are you shooting at, Chair Force?
44:39Russians.
44:40I killed them all.
44:41What's up?
44:42You okay?
44:43What happened?
44:44How do I know this isn't a hallucination?
44:47What makes you real?
44:49I don't know.
44:52Holy shit.
44:54Yo.
44:55Yo.
44:56Way too down on this shit.
44:59Paul has some darkness.
45:03Why do you smell like whip cream in crotches?
45:06That's...
45:07You're...
45:08That's...
45:09You're imagining that.
45:10No.
45:12Fuck yeah.
45:14Hey, Paul didn't hallucinate everything.
45:17There's an ATV over here.
45:19What?
45:20Fuck yeah.
45:21Holy shit.
45:22Yo.
45:23Found the keys, Max.
45:24See?
45:25I drove it to Caesars.
45:26And killed all the bad guys.
45:27I swear.
45:28Thank Christ you brought her back, Paulie.
45:29Now we'll be able to make up some of the time we lost out here.
45:31Good job, killer.
45:32Okay.
45:33Bro, let's go get Haggerty and get the fuck to that compound climb.
45:35Fine.
45:36The explosives are all set.
45:37Just say when.
45:38At the risk of sounding trite.
45:39Last chance.
45:40The American military has captured Ivan.
45:41The American military has captured Ivan.
45:42Good job, killer.
45:43Okay.
45:44Good job, killer.
45:45Okay.
45:46Bro, let's go get Haggerty and get the fuck to that compound climb.
45:47Okay.
45:48The explosives are all set.
45:49Just say when.
45:50At the risk of sounding trite.
45:51Last chance.
45:52The American military has captured Ivan.
45:53The American military has captured Ivan Koslov.
45:54That is why our timetable had to shift.
46:14What's the plan?
46:19First, I'm gonna kill the buck here in charge.
46:22then the rest of them, then I'm gonna take the bomb.
46:25But hey, if this shit goes south,
46:27you get the fuck out of here.
46:29And if they catch you, you act like you're scared shitless.
46:32Put on the show. I know you can do that.
46:35And with this, if they come close to you,
46:38put the pointy part somewhere soft, okay?
46:42I'll be back.
46:44If you could just wait a little longer,
46:47you can get your bomb.
46:49You can still destroy Las Vegas in a matter of hours.
46:52Las Vegas is just the beginning.
46:54Our plans are far more explosive.
46:58I suggest you get out of your seat.
47:03Fire in the hole!
47:05Don't fucking move. I'm taking the nuke.
47:20Truck! Help!
47:22So your gun goes down or mine goes off.
47:26Make your call now or I will make it for you.
47:34Fine.
47:38But don't fucking touch her.
47:40Come on.
47:43Aaron, thank you so much for joining us.
47:46Your timing, as ever, is impeccable.
47:49Put Mr. Litvin in the freezer with the rest of them.
47:52Yes, sir.
48:07We are behind schedule.
48:09We don't have another four hours to waste.
48:11Can you get their timer off?
48:13I'll have a look. We might take a bit.
48:15Oh, so you the head bitch in charge, huh?
48:17Well, I am the bitch with the nuke.
48:20And you're the bitch in cuffs.
48:22So...
48:23Yeah.
48:24Sure looks that way, doesn't it?
48:25What do you want me to do with them?
48:27Find out who they're working for.
48:28And how they found out about the warehouse.
48:31You have as long as it takes, Mr. Dugan,
48:33to finish removing the timer.
48:35So...
48:36Be creative.
48:38Be creative.
48:50Get ready!
48:51We're almost there!
48:52Get ready!
48:53So...
48:54You have a fog
49:07stretch!
49:07You have a scoffee feed.
49:09It's incredible!
49:11I want to cut and I cough.
49:12I've had no secret.
49:14I can'tого up.
49:16Hot church!
49:17All of the cars born.
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