00:00Emotionally intelligent people don't fully hate anyone because they see the why in every person's behavior.
00:06Some people think that this is a curse, but let me tell you why they're wrong.
00:09If you're emotionally intelligent, your prefrontal cortex doesn't shut off when someone hurts you.
00:13It sees the father who has anger issues because he was beaten as a child.
00:17The partner that wasn't faithful because of their abandonment issues.
00:20The nature of human behavior suggests that high EQ brains light up in their empathy centers, even when confronting enemies.
00:27The reason that this isn't weakness is because if you're not emotionally affected by someone's behavior to the point where it turns you angry, frustrated and bitter, it actually makes it less likely for you to mirror that behavior on someone else.
00:38So in the previous example, the child that sees the angry father would adopt that same behavior and continue the cycle.
00:44Also, just because you understand the behavior doesn't mean that you accept the behavior.
00:48A high EQ person could see someone like a violent criminal and understand their violent, neglectful, abusive upbringing and still recognize that they need to be punished in rehabilitation.
00:59That's not weakness.
01:00That's neurobiological depth.
01:02The key here is not to mistake this for a trauma bond where you connect with your abuser and sympathize with them.
01:07Someone with high EQ will have no problem removing themselves from a toxic situation without remorse, but still wishing that person well.
01:15Hardwired teaches you how to see and feel deeply without losing yourself.
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