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00:00The End
00:30Now you're here
00:36And now I know
00:38Just where I'm going
00:40No more doubts or fears
00:42I'm on my way
00:46Nice to see you
00:48To see you
00:49Nice
01:00Thank you very much indeed
01:01And welcome to the show
01:02And I'm always glad when that bit's over
01:05I really am
01:06It all looks so smooth
01:07I walk on
01:08Flick the lights on
01:10Walk along, sing a little bit
01:11But a lot of things could go wrong
01:14Believe me, a lot of things
01:15I'll show you
01:30No more doubts or fears
01:52I'm on my way
01:55This, this is all music
01:58Where's the music
02:00Nice to try and see you
02:14To try and see you
02:16The show would lose
02:26What dignity it may have
02:28But that dignity would soon be restored
02:30By meeting my first guest
02:32He's someone
02:32Well I, I think he's the most charming man
02:34I've, I've ever met in my life
02:36He's, he's so nice
02:37He's so polite
02:38He has a flashing smile
02:39And well everybody loves him
02:41It's ruined my week
02:42I tell you that
02:43Oh he's got the first cup of tea
02:45First dip in the sugar
02:48When it comes to my turn
02:50And I'll get the spoon
02:51That's all wacky wacky
02:52You know what I mean
02:53Anyway ladies and gentlemen
02:55Here he is
02:55The great international star
02:57Sir Douglas Fairbanks
02:58Well, Sir Douglas
03:16Oh wait a minute
03:16You're just Doug Douglas
03:18You know, for heaven's sake
03:19Really?
03:19Oh I may call you that
03:20Oh I wouldn't know how to answer otherwise
03:22Oh that's fine
03:23Oh that's lovely
03:24Lord
03:24See the smile
03:25See it
03:26Shouldn't, shouldn't I smile then?
03:29I, I, I, I mean if you don't want me to
03:30Oh no of course you can
03:32How, how can you refuse it?
03:33How can you refuse it?
03:35Of course you can smile
03:36Oh yeah
03:36But just a little one
03:38See I, I can cope with that
03:41No you're winning, you're winning
03:50No smiles
03:50The smiles are out
03:51I'm sorry, I'm sorry
03:53Anyway Douglas
03:54It is nice to have you here
03:56To have you on the show
03:56And
03:57What are you doing back there?
04:01Well it's your show
04:02I don't want to intrude
04:03Oh you see
04:04He's so polite with it
04:06So polite with it
04:07Please Douglas
04:08Come forward
04:09Come forward
04:10Thank you very much
04:11You're smiling again
04:13Get back
04:13Look if it worries you
04:16Why don't you introduce your next guest?
04:18Oh what a good idea
04:19Good idea
04:20Oh that's marvellous
04:21Yes and how helpful of you to suggest it
04:23Not at all
04:24Oh lovely
04:24Ladies and gentlemen
04:25Look I can suggest you I bring on
04:28I can run my own show you know
04:30I don't need all this
04:31I do as I'm pleased
04:32Of course
04:33Well then
04:34What do you intend to do?
04:36What do I intend to do?
04:38Well introduce your next guest
04:39Yes I'm going to introduce my next guest
04:42Oh good idea
04:42Yeah why shouldn't I?
04:43Ladies and gentlemen
04:44And here he is
04:45The fabulous Tom Joe
04:47Hello Tom
05:00How are you?
05:01Fine
05:01Oh good
05:02It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am
05:04You know I've seen all your old films
05:05Well I've got all your new records
05:07How's that?
05:07Good great great
05:08You see what I mean
05:10I don't get a look in do I?
05:11What about me?
05:12Hello
05:13Hello
05:13Look Tom don't let's go into a number
05:25It's me
05:25Hello Miss
05:27Yeah hello
05:27And stop smiling
05:28You're as bad as him with all this
05:29What are we going to do with a pair of them?
05:31Look why don't we play a scene
05:33From one of my old movies
05:34How's that?
05:35Oh what with all the sold fires
05:36You can all that be?
05:37Well not too much of that
05:37I'm out of condition
05:38I haven't done it in a long time
05:39That's no problem
05:40Oh I see
05:41Well what kind of a scene do you mean?
05:42Well you know
05:43Something that might be romantic
05:44What you mean?
05:46Well and a girl
05:47Oh and a girl
05:48Oh yeah
05:50Oh I'd like that Douglas
05:51I'd like that
05:52Yeah
05:53What would you like Tom?
05:54I'd like a lion now and again
05:55If you don't mind
05:56Oh shit
05:57What a shit
05:58No we'll find something for you to do
06:00Oh yes
06:01Thank you
06:01I'd love to do that scene with you Douglas
06:03Great
06:03And I'll see you later
06:04That's lovely
06:05You bet
06:05I do appreciate it
06:06Thank you
06:06Not at all
06:06Now look Tom
06:07I'll tell you what happened
06:08Yeah
06:08When Bruce comes on
06:09Yeah
06:09You stand here
06:10Hey Doug
06:11Doug
06:11Yeah
06:12Doug it's my show Doug
06:14Yeah
06:14Well
06:15Doug it's my show
06:16Well I
06:17Well
06:17Why do we have Tom sing a song
06:19How's that?
06:20No if there's any singing to be done
06:21I'll do it
06:22Don't you think we ought to have a vote on that?
06:25Well you can if you want to
06:26But I mean I warn you now
06:28I have my public out there
06:30What?
06:30Both of them?
06:31Oh he's got another line all the time
06:34Funny ones
06:36He's getting funny ones now
06:38Yes
06:38Alright it's up to you
06:39Ladies and gentlemen
06:40Who would you like to hear sing?
06:41Tom or me?
06:43Tom
06:43What was that?
06:45Tom
06:45Be fair who?
06:47Tom
06:47Oh bad luck Tom
06:49Oh but there we are
06:51That's the luck of the draw
06:52Yes James
06:53Well what about me?
06:54You came a bad third
06:55Now you've just got time
06:57For one flashing smile each
06:58And then off
06:59And we'll both see you later
07:00See you later
07:02What up
07:03You have the cool
07:19Clear
07:21Eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth
07:24Yet there's that up
07:28Turned
07:30Chin
07:31And that grin of impetuous youth
07:33I believe in you
07:39I believe in you
07:44And when my faith in my fellow man
07:49All but falls apart
07:53I've got to feel your hand
07:57Grasp in mine
07:58And I take heart
07:59I take heart
08:02To hear the sound
08:04Of good solid judgments
08:07Whenever you talk
08:08Yet there's that bold
08:13Grave
08:14Grave
08:14Spring
08:15Of the tiger
08:16That quickens your walk
08:18I believe in you
08:23I believe in you
08:28What else would you have
08:31A phrase
08:32Is if you the sl contin
08:33How old are you
08:34There's that fresh
08:35Big Margaret
08:37Loom
08:37Of鳌 Já
08:39Male
08:40And i'm not
08:41I think I'm put in you
08:42In my Monte
08:43고
08:44In my nec
09:24I believe in you, I believe in your upturned chin, your impetuous grin, and those cool, clear eyes.
09:54One of the drawbacks about having someone like Tom Jones in the show is that all the
10:17girls love him.
10:18You see?
10:19Everywhere he goes, he's just followed by screaming mobs of them.
10:23Really.
10:24And it makes it so difficult to rehearse.
10:25I mean, I tried this office for a start.
10:27But who wants an office full of screaming girls?
10:29An office full of girls who don't scream, maybe, but not with him as well.
10:33Anyway, I had to smuggle him in here.
10:34Samantha?
10:35Would you come in, dear?
10:36Samantha, my secretary.
10:37Get back!
10:38Get back!
10:39Get back!
10:40Get back!
10:41Get back!
10:42Oh, Mr. Forsyne!
10:43Oh, isn't it exciting?
10:44Well, I suppose it is really.
10:46I don't think about him after that.
10:47She's lovely.
10:48I must agree, isn't I?
10:49Tom Jones!
10:50Oh.
10:51He's coming here!
10:52In the flesh!
10:53You leave his flesh alone, dear.
10:54Leave it alone.
10:55You know, Mr. Forsyne, it makes working for you all these years really worthwhile.
10:59Well, I'm glad about that, at least.
11:00But now, look, I've got a lot of rehearsing to do with Tom, so what I want you to do is
11:04take the day off and take that screaming mob off as well.
11:07Oh, oh, no, I couldn't do that.
11:08But you must.
11:09No.
11:10You force yourself.
11:11No, no, I'm not going to go.
11:12No, no, I'm not going to go.
11:13No, no, I'm not going to go.
11:14What are you doing?
11:15No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
11:16You can't, no, no.
11:17You can't.
11:18You can't stay here.
11:19Get off me down.
11:20You can't stay there.
11:21You'll make me laundry now.
11:22Why?
11:23It's very personal laundry now.
11:24No!
11:25Get back!
11:26Get back!
11:27Get back!
11:28Get back!
11:29I'm not going to sign the contract.
11:30All right, out you come.
11:32Oh, my name's your name!
11:34Oh, my name's your name.
11:35I'm very wrong.
11:37Are you really going to go?
11:38Oh, my name's your name.
11:39But, do you want to go?
11:40Oh, do you want to go?
11:41I don't want to go.
11:42I don't want to go.
11:44All right, it's a pinch.
11:45How much do you want?
11:46It's not a pinch, Tom.
11:48It's me.
11:49I'm sorry about that.
11:50It was the only way I could get you through the screaming mob.
11:52Yes.
11:53Well, that I don't mind,
11:54but I've been washed and pressed three times, man.
11:58Do you know, for a singer, man,
12:00you delivered that line very well, man.
12:08But nobody must know you're here, least of all Samantha.
12:11Samantha?
12:11Yes.
12:12You know the old tune.
12:13Of course I'm...
12:14Oh!
12:16He's closing us.
12:17I know.
12:18We've got a couple of songs to sing.
12:20Anyway, look.
12:24Look, never mind about that.
12:26Let's get over to the piano.
12:27Stop talking about my laundry.
12:30You were laundry.
12:32Oh, yes.
12:33Well, I go flying at weekends.
12:36That's better than that one.
12:37Right, now, look.
12:39I thought we'd do as a duet.
12:40Was that a knock at the door?
12:42Oh, yeah.
12:46It was a knock at the door, Tom.
12:48Look, would you mind?
12:49Get into the cup.
12:50No, just wait a minute.
12:51Oh, no, look.
12:52Don't, I'll get into the cup.
12:53That's it that you're here, Tom.
12:54Enter into the spirit of it.
12:56All right, then?
12:57Hold on.
12:59Yes, Amanda.
13:00Get back!
13:00Get back!
13:02Get back!
13:03Get back!
13:04Get back!
13:05Her voices.
13:07Did he come up the back way?
13:09No, he didn't come up the back way, for goodness sake.
13:11Well, look.
13:12If he gets here a few seconds...
13:13I didn't like it, yes.
13:17If he gets here a few seconds before I get back...
13:19Yes.
13:20Just give him this.
13:22Daryl, I can't give him this, for goodness sake.
13:25Well, look, look, dear.
13:26You can't simmer down.
13:28You can't be on the bowl like this all the morning.
13:31Look, I'd like you to dress as my secretary.
13:33Take that ridiculous sweater off.
13:35For Tom.
13:36He, he.
13:37No, I didn't mean take it off, Bea.
13:42I mean, go out there and change it, for goodness sake, girl.
13:45Get back!
13:45Get back!
13:46Get back!
13:47And all you girls should be home helping your mothers.
13:49I knew I'd get to death, mothers!
13:51Oh, get off.
13:54Sorry about that, Tom.
13:56It's all right.
13:56How'd she come, lad?
13:58Who'd you say that was?
13:59Oh, Samantha, my secretary.
14:01Oh, yeah.
14:02What do you mean, oh, yeah?
14:04Sure.
14:05It's nothing like that at all, I'm sorry to say.
14:08Mr. Northard, it's me, Samantha!
14:12Who else is that line?
14:14What do you want now?
14:16She's a bloody friend, isn't she?
14:18Well, I don't know.
14:18Do you want me to get back in the cupboard or what?
14:21Oh, is it?
14:21Yes, it's a...
14:22No, no, look, the lampshade, the lampshade.
14:24What about the lampshade?
14:25Quick, the lampshade, on the head, on the head.
14:26All right, Tom.
14:27No, no, not me, you.
14:30Get back there, Tom.
14:33Now, get back.
14:34Get back, come on.
14:37Get out of here, mad savages.
14:38You're hiding him from me.
14:42Huh?
14:42He's here.
14:43I feel he's here.
14:44No, it's the wrong feeling, dear.
14:45It's another feeling you've got.
14:46I don't know what it is.
14:47But isn't that feeling?
14:49What's that lampstandard?
14:50What lampstandard?
14:54That lampstandard over there, I don't remember it.
14:56All right, you don't remember it.
14:57What about it?
14:58Well, it's rather unusual, isn't it?
14:59It's not unusual.
15:00To be loved by anyone.
15:02What was that?
15:05Well, it was the lampstandard.
15:07It does impressions.
15:08Yes.
15:10Now, look, would you mind going, dear, and leaving me here?
15:12Well, look, I can't hold them back much longer.
15:14They're going to tear the plants apart.
15:15Well, hold on.
15:16Look, here's one of his handkerchiefs.
15:18All right, then.
15:19All right, now.
15:19Come on, then.
15:20Look, they'll keep them going for a bit,
15:21and they can all have a little weep each.
15:23Now, get out.
15:23Tom, did you have to go and sing?
15:34Sorry, but it was a reflex action.
15:36How can I explain?
15:37A lampstand that does the twist, for goodness sake.
15:40Oh, we've got to have a disguise for you.
15:42A disguise.
15:44What a bit of luck.
15:47It's the only way we can get round that.
15:48Look.
15:52Okay, try that on.
15:53All right.
15:55To lose Jones and his group.
15:57All right, then.
15:57Right.
15:58That'll be marvellous.
15:59Right.
15:59You can like that, all right?
15:59Yes.
16:00Don't worry about.
16:01Was that a knock at the door?
16:03Yes.
16:05What is he doing here?
16:07Yes, I know.
16:07He's the tea.
16:15Tea, sir?
16:16Yes.
16:16Oh, thank you very much.
16:17Oh, yes.
16:17A very old friend of mine.
16:19Oh, sorry, mate.
16:21Oh, you've done it now, man.
16:22You've got 60 seconds.
16:25What?
16:25Then she'll explode.
16:27She's the same when she sees your photographs.
16:29When she's seen you in the flat, I don't want you to do.
16:32Samantha, are you receiving me, dear?
16:34Look, now, if I promise to let you stay here on your own,
16:37will you promise not to tell those other savages outside?
16:40Promise?
16:42Cross your heart.
16:43That's it.
16:46Fine.
16:47Now, simmer down, dear.
16:48She should be coming, too.
16:50Simmer down.
16:52Yes, sir.
16:52Oh, she's all right.
16:53We're over the worst.
16:54We're over the worst.
16:55Yeah.
16:55Oh, she's such a nice, quiet woman.
16:57I know, I know.
16:58All right, darling.
16:59Hee, hee, hee!
17:02Let me get back!
17:03Quick, folks, in the window!
17:05Ah!
17:06Ah!
17:06How did they get in the over here on the sixth floor?
17:10Very tall show, darling.
17:11I know it's ridiculous.
17:13Just try the fireplace.
17:15Get out!
17:17Tom, let's face it.
17:18We're surrounded.
17:19We've only got two days of supplies.
17:21Listen, man.
17:21Why don't you just let them all in?
17:23Let's get it over with.
17:24Let them in?
17:25Yeah, well, anything to get a bit of rehearsing.
17:27You'd face them?
17:28Well, sure.
17:29Well, Tom, I've been a fan.
17:30Believe me.
17:31And I admire you so much.
17:32But this?
17:33I'm sorry.
17:34I can't believe it.
17:35It's okay.
17:35It's great, man.
17:36Okay.
17:37Great.
17:38Now, remember, I'm not responsible.
17:40All right.
17:42And cheerio.
17:43All right.
17:52Tom, what's wrong?
17:53It's you, they love!
17:55Yeah, they love me, but they hate you!
17:56Ah!
17:57Ah!
17:57Ah!
18:06Welcome back.
18:16Welcome back and welcome to part two.
18:18Now, it's time for another couple of songs.
18:21And, well, I put it to you again, ladies and gentlemen.
18:23Who would you like to hear sing?
18:24Tom or me?
18:26Tom!
18:26Ah, come on, be fair.
18:28Who do you want?
18:29Tom!
18:29Ah, this is bad luck again, Tom.
18:31Bad luck.
18:32Actually, I think he's the greatest.
18:35I really do mean this.
18:36Our Tom.
18:37I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come.
18:56Yeah, yeah.
18:58I'm going to Kansas City, baby.
19:01Kansas City, here I come.
19:04All right.
19:05They got a crazy lot of women there.
19:08I gotta grab me one.
19:12I'm going to be standing on the corner,
19:14on the corner of Trest Street and Vine.
19:17That's my mind.
19:19I'm going to be standing on the corner, baby,
19:21on the corner of Trest Street and Vine.
19:24All right.
19:25This is Kansas City, baby.
19:28The one that calls me, Casey Vine.
19:31Ow!
19:33Ow!
19:33Take a plane.
19:35I take a train.
19:37If I have to walk, I gotta get that desperate.
19:41Kansas City, baby.
19:42Kansas City, here I come.
19:45Ow!
19:46They got a crazy women there.
19:49I gotta get me some.
19:51I gotta pack on my clothes, and leave at the break of dawn.
20:00I gotta pack on my clothes, gonna leave at the break of dawn.
20:06Oh, everybody will be sleeping.
20:09Nobody will know where I'm going.
20:12Because if I stay in this town, I know I'm going to die.
20:18Gotta find a brand new city.
20:20That's the reason why.
20:22Ow!
20:23Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come.
20:26Mm-hmm.
20:28They got a crazy lot of women there.
20:31I gotta grab me one.
20:34If I stay with this woman, I know I'm going to die.
20:38I gotta find a baby, baby.
20:41Ow!
20:41If I stay with this woman, Kansas City, baby.
20:45Kansas City, here I come.
20:49They got a crazy lot of women there.
20:51I gotta grab me one.
20:56They got a crazy lot of women there.
20:59I gotta grab me one.
21:02Ow!
21:03Ow!
21:04Georgia, Georgia.
21:28Georgia, Georgia
21:35The whole day through
21:40Just an old sweet song
21:45Keeps Georgia on my mind
21:51I said, Georgia, Georgia
22:02That song of you
22:08Comes as sweet and clear
22:14As the moonlight on the pine
22:19Other arms reaching out to me
22:32Other eyes smile tenderly
22:39Still in peaceful dreams I see
22:46That road is right on that tree
22:52That's why I say, Georgia
22:57Oh, Georgia
23:01Oh, no peace can I find
23:08Just an old sweet song
23:13Keeps Georgia on my mind
23:18Other arms reaching out to me
23:22Other arms reach out to me
23:26Other eyes smile tenderly
23:30Still in peaceful dreams I see
23:32All the eyes smile tenderly
23:39Still in school dreams I see
23:45That road keeps on leaving right back to you
23:50Oh, kids, they keep me talking to you, Georgia!
23:55Oh, Georgia!
24:00The whole night, the whole night through
24:06Just an old sweet song
24:11Keeps Georgia on my mind
24:17Yeah
24:20Just an old sweet song
24:25Keeps Georgia on my mind
24:33Georgia, my man!
24:36Yeah, yeah, yeah!
24:51More!
24:53More!
24:56More!
24:58More!
24:59You get a good cabaret at these self-service restaurants, don't you?
25:03And the food's quick and all that sort of thing, you know, it really is nice
25:07But you never know who you're going to be sitting with, you know
25:10And you can meet some very, very odd people in these places
25:14These three look all right
25:17Yes, I think I'm going to have a nice, quiet, peaceful meal
25:22Good day
25:23Bon
25:24Appetit
25:28What do you mean like that?
25:30What do you think he is talking to me like that?
25:33I'll tell him, I'll tell him, I'll tell him, I'll tell him
25:38...
25:48Please
25:51...
25:56I'm telling you, I'll tell him
25:59You're talking to me like that
26:00Er...
26:01Er...
26:02Pardon
26:03What?
26:04I thought you said something
26:05I didn't say anything
26:07No.
26:14Pummy fella, pummy fella.
26:17You meet all types here, and you can't tell who's normal and who isn't.
26:23And the funny thing about it, the funny thing about it is he looks as normal as you or I.
26:29Exactly. And then they do something entirely unexpected.
26:32Yes, I know what you mean.
26:37What did you do that for?
26:53What?
26:55Nothing.
27:00I'll tell you something about these chaps.
27:04What are you leading over me for?
27:08You wanted me to come nearer.
27:09Well, there's no such thing.
27:10But look, you kept going like that.
27:13Yes.
27:16I don't want you.
27:17It's on me in the civilised manner.
27:19Nothing will please me more, absolutely nothing.
27:26There you are, you see, you did it again.
27:28What?
27:29You got a spoon like that, got all of a potato like that, and you went like that.
27:35Hey, who's thinking these potatoes about?
27:37You was him.
27:39It wasn't me, it was him.
27:40You want to watch it, mate?
27:41Or else you'll get the fleck and do it.
27:42What about your flock?
27:43The fleck and do it.
27:44The fleck and do it.
27:45Oh, sorry.
27:46That's the pie dish.
27:47Yeah, the pie dish, yeah.
27:50Oh, shut up, you.
27:52Shut up!
27:53And leave me alone.
27:55A couple of nutcases you two are.
27:57A right couple of nutcases.
28:00Oh, nutcases they are.
28:08Why do you hate me?
28:23Why do you hate me?
28:26I've never said a word.
28:27There you are, you've never said a word the whole time I've been sitting here.
28:31Why do you hate me so?
28:33Who said I hate you?
28:34I just did, there you are.
28:35You see, you've not even been listening to me.
28:38But how do you know I hate you?
28:39But I don't even know you.
28:41I may even quite like you.
28:43You said you may quite like me.
28:44Why don't you like me now?
28:47Who said I don't like you now?
28:50I think you love me now.
28:54I think you're, I think you're a nice little chap.
28:57You really?
28:58Yeah.
28:59I think you're a lovely little fellow.
29:02I wonder if you'd, you'd mind doing me a wee favour then.
29:05Of course, of course.
29:06Do you mind passing me the salt?
29:10A great pleasure.
29:12Don't pass me the salt!
29:14But you asked me to pass you the salt.
29:16Nobody ever passes me the salt.
29:17Everybody hates you too much, yeah.
29:19I think I prefer you with the potatoes.
29:21Look, have one on me.
29:31Pass the salt.
29:32I said pass the salt.
29:35No.
29:37Why wouldn't you pass me the salt?
29:38You told me not to pass the salt.
29:41What can I say to you?
29:42You told me not to pass the salt.
29:43I'll shut up!
29:45I'll shut up!
29:46Help yourself!
29:47Help yourself!
29:49So you're going to not pass me the salt, are you?
29:51Oh, where are you?
29:52All right.
29:53For just a pinch.
29:58So you'll bring them about again, are you?
29:59I'll walk you up!
30:00I'll choke you!
30:12Stop it!
30:13Stop it!
30:14Stop it!
30:16Stop it!
30:21Stop it!
30:22Stop it!
30:26You're all raining mad.
30:27A lot of you came in here for a nice, quiet, peaceful meal.
30:30It was you talking to yourself, you picking fights with him,
30:33and you chucking food all over the place.
30:37I've never seen such ridiculous behaviour...
31:01Ladies and gentlemen, this is our rehearsal room.
31:04It might not look much, but to us, it's home.
31:07And we spend hour upon hour here drinking tea,
31:11and thinking up the things for your pleasure.
31:14And I'm waiting here right now for Lionel Blair, our choreographer.
31:16There's only one trouble with Lionel.
31:18He's always trying to weedle in.
31:20You know, I do these duets with Alita Morrison,
31:23and he's always trying to get it into a three-handed number,
31:25but I won't have it.
31:26I will not have it!
31:27Morning, Bruce!
31:28Hello, Lionel!
31:29Good morning!
31:36Who got you ready? Tom Jones?
31:39No, didn't it?
31:41Really?
31:42Well, now, have you seen Alita at all?
31:44Yes, she's just changing.
31:45Well, I hope it's for the better.
31:46Oh, hello, darling.
31:47How are you?
31:48Nice to see you.
31:50Forget it.
31:52Well, now, have you any thoughts about this week's number?
31:54Well, yes, I did have a thought.
31:55Coming to rehearsal in the car today, I thought,
31:58something we haven't done on the whole series,
32:00I thought we'd do...
32:01A trio!
32:02Yes, yes.
32:03Do you think it's a lovely idea?
32:04I think it's a loathly idea.
32:05Absolutely loathly.
32:07Well, I had a thought in my car,
32:08and my car's bigger than your car,
32:09so it was a bigger thought.
32:10I see.
32:12So what we're going to do is,
32:13we're going to do a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers now,
32:15but I'm going to be Fred,
32:16and you two can make your own arrangements.
32:22Right.
32:23All right, then, so all you've got to do is Corey Ogg.
32:25Right.
32:26He is Arthur Nog.
32:27Yes.
32:28All right, Fred Astaire and Ginger,
32:29how about using the continental?
32:30Oh, nice number.
32:31So it suits me.
32:32Start back-to-back, turn round.
32:33One of those.
32:34One of those is lovely,
32:35but I think the shoulders should be closer together.
32:37Louie can put a light there.
32:39Better put a shot.
32:40That's the way you go again.
32:41Very close.
32:42Right, shoulders.
32:43Marvelous.
32:44That feels good.
32:45Right.
32:46Oh, and then from there,
32:47I'll tell you what we could do.
32:48From there.
32:49Turn in, turn in like that.
32:50All the way round.
32:51All the way round.
32:52Now, turn out.
32:53Turn out.
32:54Because they always do that.
32:55Oh, they always do that.
32:56Fine.
32:57So it's round the shoulders first.
32:58And then from there,
32:59I'll tell you what we could do.
33:00From back then.
33:04Like a back then?
33:05There's nothing like a back then.
33:06I've gone off this now.
33:07I don't know whether I'm Fred or Ginger.
33:08I don't know.
33:09I could tell you.
33:10Yes, you would.
33:11Look.
33:12We'll do the trio.
33:13We'll do the trio.
33:14Then you're over that side.
33:15All right then.
33:16Trio.
33:17What will we do?
33:18Come on.
33:19Come on.
33:20Come on.
33:21Come on.
33:22Come on.
33:23Come on.
33:24Come on.
33:25Come on.
33:26Come on.
33:27Come on.
33:28Come on.
33:29Come on.
33:30Come on.
33:31Come on.
33:32We'll do it.
33:33Ready?
33:34Come on.
33:35Come on.
33:36Come on.
33:37Come on.
33:38I'm 짖ain.
33:39Come on.
33:40Come on.
33:41That dare.
33:42Come on.
33:43Come on.
33:44Come on.
33:45Remove��� Hampshire.
33:46Come on.
33:47Hmm.
33:48Come on the palette.
33:49Yep.
33:50I'm fine.
33:51Come on.
33:52And we'll
33:53tonight.
33:54You're ready.
33:55Come on.
33:56Come on.
33:56Come on.
33:57We'll do it.
33:58There's a mess.
33:59Come on one.
35:30Welcome back and welcome to part three.
35:49Welcome back and welcome to part three, whatever happens.
35:56Oh, did you come on your bike as well?
35:58Yeah.
35:58Tell me, are we all dressed up?
36:04I couldn't believe it when I saw this in the dressing room.
36:06What's it all about?
36:08Well, you remember, we decided that we were going to do a scene from one of my old films.
36:11Oh, yes, yes, yes.
36:13And I thought it'd be fun if we did something out of, oh, let's say, the Corsican brothers.
36:17Oh, the Corsican brothers.
36:18Yeah.
36:18Do you think you can manage it?
36:19Corsican.
36:20Do you mind?
36:28This is a very serious scene.
36:30Well, now, in this story, we are Siamese twins.
36:44Oh, yes, not cats.
36:45No, no, no, no.
36:47So, don't want all that.
36:48Yes, we're blood brothers.
36:50Oh, blood brothers.
36:50Yes, yes, yes, yes.
36:51We were joined together as babies and then separated later on as children.
36:54Oh, yes, I remember.
36:55You see?
36:55So, we feel each other's emotions and pain.
36:58Yes, yes.
36:58Anything I feel, you feel.
37:00I see, I see, yes.
37:02For instance, when you were young and you had mups, so did I.
37:06I get the idea.
37:07Yeah, when you had measles, I had the measles.
37:09Exactly.
37:10Everything you have, I have.
37:11Yeah.
37:11Good job we didn't have a sister, in it.
37:15Oh, that would be very embarrassing, wouldn't it?
37:18Can you imagine, Dougie?
37:20Now, in this scene, I fall in love with the beautiful Lady Jane.
37:23Oh, do you?
37:24Yeah.
37:24Oh, lovely.
37:25Yeah, but so do you.
37:26Oh, yeah, of course I do.
37:27Yes.
37:27Yeah, yeah, after me.
37:30Oh, yes, you've made the point quite clear, yes.
37:33By the way, there's not going to be much soul fighting and all that, is it?
37:36Oh, no, I'm past all that.
37:37I can do very little of it now, just, you know, just a...
37:39Oh, good.
37:40But I'm glad to hear it, glad to hear it, yes.
37:42Well, I'm sure you've made the story all very, very clear.
37:44Oh, good.
37:44Very, very clear.
37:44Because if it wasn't clear to them, then the whole routine would be a waste of time.
37:48Don't worry about that, Douglas, at all.
37:50It's perfectly, perfectly clear.
37:51Oh, great, fine, all right.
37:53Now, then, what's it all about?
37:56Douglas!
37:57Oh, well, here they are, straight from their big success up north around the clubs,
38:03the course I could brothers.
38:05I feel it by the heavens.
38:17I know you.
38:19You are my brother.
38:21I feel it, too.
38:22After all these years.
38:24My brother.
38:25Oh.
38:29What's the matter, my brother?
38:30Well, we are as one.
38:31I felt the blow myself when I greeted you like that.
38:34Oh.
38:36It's all right.
38:37I think they've got the general idea, and if they have it, I am.
38:40Oh, I can't.
38:41Ah, my Lady Jane.
38:43I'm your brother.
38:46Lady Jane.
38:47Oh, this vision of loveliness, such grace, such charm.
38:53Diana, touched by moonlight.
38:56Do you not feel the same thing, my brother?
38:57What if you mean, do I fancy it?
38:59Yes.
38:59Yes.
39:04Sir Roderick.
39:06As I gaze into thy face, I feel an overwhelming joy and tenderness.
39:21Do you get that same feeling, my brother?
39:23Well, something similar, of course.
39:28That is because we are blood brothers.
39:30Yeah, I think it's more that dress he's wearing.
39:32Ah, my Sir Jasper.
39:37Lady Jane.
39:38Stop.
39:42Stop, I must be the shoulder, never mind.
39:45Brothers, brothers we may be, but in love, I must not forget the ties of blood that bind us, my Lady Jane.
39:52Sir Roderick.
39:54To think that my own brother should love you as I love you.
39:57That he should hold you as I hold you.
39:59Yeah, well, he'd like to.
40:00Excuse me, can I just get in?
40:02When my arms are around you, his arms are around you.
40:05Well, let's get in then, and...
40:06And when my joy should be his joy.
40:09I'm not getting a thing here.
40:12Lady Jane.
40:18My brother.
40:19Oh, for goodness sake, I'll get him in a minute.
40:21I'll sit on some broken glass, that'll make him jump.
40:25Thoughts.
40:27I'm sorry, my brother, that a woman should come between us.
40:29I wish you would, at least I'd be a bit nearer.
40:32So, my brother, it is between you and I.
40:36Stay.
40:37You must not fight, for I love you both.
40:40Doesn't she do that well?
40:43I can do it again, but we're running late.
40:45It's lovely, really.
40:46Now the sword, the sword must choose.
40:48He's passed all this.
40:50He's...
40:50It's a shame, really.
40:54I'll see you later, you know where.
40:56He's passed it all.
40:58He hasn't done all this for years.
41:00Years and years.
41:02Yes, I hope.
41:03Yes.
41:04Now, may I have a sword?
41:05It's only fat.
41:07Oh, of course.
41:07Oh, that's good.
41:10Yeah, that's lovely.
41:12Right here.
41:16Oh, I've got one here.
41:19Ha-ha.
41:32Missed.
41:33I'd like to get the bent one.
41:43Never mind.
41:53I've got...
41:54Cue music.
42:09Over there, over there.
42:11Over there, over there.
42:13Over there, over there.
42:13That's it.
42:15Around there, around there.
42:17Cheek, cheek.
42:19Blunch, blunch.
42:20You have a go at me.
42:21I'll have a go at you.
42:24Get off that rope, you coward.
42:33Come here.
42:34Fight like a man.
42:35Fight like a man.
42:42Hold on, really.
42:42I'll go at you.
42:46Say.
42:47That's my double.
42:48Oh, you might have said it.
42:50But you're so good.
42:54Be careful.
43:00Come on, house.
43:12Excuse me.
43:13Excuse me.
43:13Excuse me.
43:14Hold on.
43:14Ah.
43:15Fuck.
43:16Who's that?
43:25You're double, didn't that?
43:35You're fired.
43:36Oh, what'd you fire him for?
43:38He was winning.
43:38Oh, I'm losing him.
43:39I'll tell you, then.
43:43Oh.
43:45You might feel that then, then, Mike.
43:48Oh.
44:00Hey, what's wrong?
44:01They're just like a man.
44:01Oh, hey, Bryce.
44:03Hey, Bryce.
44:04Hey.
44:07Why do you hate me?
44:19Oh, you're...
44:23Sure.
44:24Yes, I'll let that be a lesson to you.
44:30Bruce, you did that absolutely wonderfully.
44:33I thought I would.
44:34Now, may I have my sword back, please?
44:36For what sword?
44:38That one happens to be an heirloom.
44:41Hey, I shouldn't have two of them, should I?
44:46I'm dying.
44:50I can do very nicely on me own.
44:54Is there anything I can do for you before you go?
45:09Oh, it does hurt when I laugh at that.
45:14Yes!
45:15I'd like to see the top of that come off.
45:17I'm really with that candle.
45:18It's driving me raining mad, that candle.
45:20Allow me.
45:21All right.
45:24Now we come to the last song of the show.
45:53Now, I put it to you again, ladies and gentlemen.
45:55Who do you want to hear sing it?
45:56Tom or me?
45:58Tom!
45:59What would that be?
45:59Now, be fair, be fair.
46:01Tom!
46:02Oh, bad luck again, Tom.
46:04It hasn't been your night, has it, Michael?
46:05I know, I know.
46:06But I can't send you off.
46:07It's against my nature.
46:09Okay.
46:09Look, let's do a song together.
46:11All right.
46:11All right, then?
46:12Yeah.
46:12I think that's the best way of it.
46:13Now, what do you think we should do?
46:14What number do you think we could do together?
46:16I was thinking, like, something like Papa's got a brand new bag or something like that.
46:20Oh, I didn't know you.
46:24I didn't know he'd worn the old one out.
46:28No, look, do the song, Bob, that I was going to do on my own.
46:32You know, that now I was going to do on my own.
46:33Yeah, it's a nice song, this.
46:35Yeah, good.
46:37It's so old, you'll never remember it.
46:39Before he was bald, this one, it's going right back.
46:42So, folks, you won't be disappointed.
46:44I'll still be singing on my own.
46:46By the way, Tom, if you know any of the words, join in.
46:49I won't be offended.
46:49All right.
46:50Here we go.
46:51Bye.
46:54Life is just a bowl of cherries.
46:57Don't take it serious.
46:59It's too mysterious.
47:01You work, you slave, and you worry so
47:05But you can't change your dough when you go, go, go
47:10Keep repeating, it's the berries
47:13The strongest oak must fall
47:18The best things in life to you are just long
47:23Oh, how can you lose when you have long
47:27Life is just a bowl of cherries
47:31Sow it in and laugh at it all
47:35Life, cherries, serious, serious
47:41Work, you slave, you worry so much
47:43You can't think you know when you go
47:44It's the berries, repeat, it's the berries
47:48It's the last repeat of the berries
47:49The strongest oak must fall
47:51The best things in life to you are just long
48:02Could I have one of those, Bob?
48:10If there's anything
48:11So how could you do
48:17What you never
48:23I'm going to have my tonsils out, I think
48:32Actually, I don't even know the song we're singing now
48:37Oh, I forgot this so long ago
48:39Oh, that's it
48:40Oh, that's it
48:44It's not our Jewish
48:45But the cherries
48:47So it is
48:51Why don't you laugh
48:56Everybody loves
49:07Any of a love will never know
49:10Yeah!
49:12Thank you
49:14that was great
49:26I've admired you for a long time
49:28and I do wish you all the luck
49:29and don't forget I'm having a little party
49:30will you come down and have a drink
49:32everybody's coming down
49:34see you later Tom
49:35fine
49:36hello
49:41yeah Bruce here
49:42oh
49:44you're going across the road
49:46but you know I've prepared everything
49:48I was up all last night
49:49making crab sandwiches and that
49:51I've got some cherry aid in
49:53it was going to be lovely
49:54oh alright well no
49:56if you said you're going there
49:57fine no
49:58no I can't
50:00I've got such a swinging party
50:01going on here
50:02put that radio gram down a bit
50:04fine I've got to go
50:05it's so mad here
50:07fine bye bye
50:08oh no
50:09can I come in
50:13oh Douglas
50:14I'm so glad you turned up
50:17well where is everybody
50:18oh well they've gone across the road
50:20oh no
50:20just because he's got salmon and cucumber
50:22oh
50:23listen do you want to know how to bring them back
50:26I'd love to get them back Douglas
50:27but how
50:28by whispering
50:30whispering
50:31yeah
50:31I tell you people are very inquisitive by nature
50:33they're curious
50:34and if you
50:35if you whisper
50:36very delicate
50:36they'll get curious
50:37and want to know what you're whispering about
50:39really
50:39I've never heard of that
50:40no
50:40well let me show you
50:42you sit down at the piano
50:43and I'll show you
50:43you're not getting me at it are you
50:45no
50:46honest
50:47honest
50:48now try it
50:49go on
50:49whispering
50:50while you cuddle near
50:54me
50:57whispering
50:59so no one near
51:02can hear
51:04me
51:06that's the idea
51:07each little whisper
51:11seems to cheer
51:13me
51:15I know it's true
51:20but there's no one
51:24but you
51:25you're whispering
51:28that's why
51:29you'll never leave
51:31me
51:33you're whispering
51:37that's why
51:39you'll never leave
51:41me
51:43whisper and say
51:48that you believe
51:50me
51:52whisper
51:55that I love
51:57you too
52:00yeah
52:04now you're here
52:13and now I know
52:15just where I'm going
52:17where's that crate of beer
52:19we're on our way
52:22nice to see you
52:24to see you
52:25nice
52:26oh I wish you could stay
52:27I could make some more sandwiches
52:29you know it would have been no trouble at all
52:30and anyway
52:31see you
52:32声 maybe
52:33go on
52:43I would be the best
52:44get out of the roof
52:45yeah
52:45oh hate
52:46this time
52:46again
52:46nothing
52:47I know
52:48I knew I was good
52:49I knew I had a happy
52:51attendee
52:51first time
52:51you sure
52:52went like
52:52oh my
52:53and I'm going
52:54and I'm going to see you
52:56yeah
52:57now I'm going to be
52:57about
52:57oh my
52:58I'm going to be
52:58what
52:59now I'm going to be
53:00oh my
53:00AVAILABLE NOW
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