00:00Good afternoon, sir. I'm Neetu. So my question is, in today's world of social media, we often see our friends and peers do so well in their life. How do we not take this in a negative way?
00:16You mean how not to feel jealous?
00:18Yeah, jealous or take it in a negative way.
00:21I mean, there is a life to live, there is work to do, there is something to love. Where is the time to be jealous and negative and hurt?
00:40Where is the time to stop at a moment and keep pondering over what all has apparently gone wrong?
00:55You are young. The next thing is now waiting for you. The next moment is available. The next opportunity has flung open its arms.
01:10What do you get by just repenting over something that seems to have not worked for you and has worked for somebody else?
01:22The point is not that the other has seemingly done better than you. The point is how do you have time to waste over somebody else's work or life or performance or whatever?
01:42That person is doing what he or she might want to do. What are you doing?
01:51That fellow succeeded because he or she was concentrating on the work he chose for himself, right?
02:01So where is her mind? Her mind is in her chosen field of work and that is the reason there is success.
02:11And you are occupied looking not at yourself but at somebody else. Where will it take you?
02:26Now this I have said assuming that the success of the other person is in the field of proper work.
02:31That the other person's work that the other person's work that the other person has posted a pic in which she is looking very attractive, hot or glamorous
02:50and that makes you feel a little small in front of her and that too often is the case.
03:00It's not that we feel jealous only when somebody secures great marks or a great job
03:06or publishes a great paper.
03:11More often than not the reason for jealousy is something else.
03:20Somebody has posted a pic from Paris
03:23and gathered 1200 likes
03:26and I never got more than 200 on anything I ever posted.
03:36Now what to do?
03:39Here is a suggestion.
03:41Open an anonymous account.
03:43Go there and troll.
03:46Social media is full of such stuff.
03:49If you want to be a hater
03:50social media is the best place.
03:53There you can anonymously abuse.
03:57Is that what you want to do?
03:59Is there any dignity in such an act?
04:02Yes.
04:02But jealousy is what will make you stoop
04:06to such depths.
04:11First thing, there is nothing wrong with comparison.
04:21Pay attention to this.
04:24There is nothing wrong in factually acknowledging
04:28that somebody is doing better than you.
04:34It's okay.
04:35It's okay.
04:35That's a fact of life.
04:39In the mathematics paper, somebody obtained 91.
04:42You obtained 84.
04:4491 and 84 are facts.
04:46And wherever numbers are involved automatically comparison is there.
04:50That is number theory.
04:5191 is greater than 84.
04:53That's okay.
04:55Acknowledge that.
04:55If you are playing a tennis match and you are trailing two sets to one.
05:01It's okay.
05:03It's 2-1 in the opponent's favor.
05:06The problem is when you take the comparison right to your self-value.
05:23When you make the comparison a reflection of your self-esteem.
05:27When you say it is not as if my marks are lower.
05:34I am lowly.
05:36Now that's a problem.
05:39Your marks might be 84 compared to somebody's 91.
05:44Honestly, do acknowledge that.
05:45Yes, that fellow has done better than me.
05:47My marks are low or small.
05:56Somebody's marks are higher.
05:58His marks are higher.
06:00That does not make the person higher.
06:03My marks are lower.
06:04That does not make me lower.
06:08My performance is bad.
06:10My potential is not bad.
06:13These two have to be simultaneously remembered.
06:18And both have to be acknowledged at the same time.
06:23Your fact and your possibility.
06:26Usually the fact is not up to the mark.
06:31None of us perform to our potential most of the times.
06:34And that has to be acknowledged.
06:36Don't be an ostrich.
06:38Don't start looking the other way when your performance is bad.
06:41Acknowledge.
06:41I have done very badly.
06:43Let that sink in.
06:45And if that hurts, let it hurt.
06:47Yes, I have done very badly.
06:49And even as you admit you have done badly.
06:51Remember, doing badly is not your destiny.
06:55Your potential is far bigger.
06:59So your performance, your current performance and your potential have to be remembered in the same breath.
07:06Together.
07:06If you remember only your potential and keep saying,
07:09Oh, I am a superstar.
07:11I am a superstar.
07:12I am born to be the lord of the world.
07:15Then you will totally forget that in spite of your potential, right now you are down in the dumps.
07:20And how does your potential help if your lived reality is very bad?
07:27Does potential help then?
07:29Potential has to translate into action, into the fact of the moment.
07:34So just remembering potential alone won't help.
07:37It will make you arrogant and oblivious of the reality.
07:44Similarly, if you remember only how you currently are and have forgotten what you can be, what you are destined to be,
07:58then inferiority will grip you.
08:01You will feel so disappointed, you won't even give yourself another chance.
08:09You will say, I am down and that's all that there is to it.
08:15I am down.
08:16I am small, lowly, inferior, defeated.
08:20And that's all that is there to my existence.
08:22Remember these both.
08:23Honestly, accept you have done very badly.
08:28And then say, not next time.
08:31I will improve.
08:33I will improve.
08:34And in this, there is not much room for another person.
08:40It's you versus yourself.
08:41So what is there then to be jealous of?
08:46There is me and there is my potential.
08:49And the competition is between only these two.
08:53So who else is there to feel jealous of?
09:00There is nobody else.
09:02And that's pure Vedanta.
09:04There is only your little self versus your ultimate self.
09:11There is nobody else.
09:16Technically, they are called man and atma.
09:17There is your current reality and there is your ultimate potentiality, not inferior to anybody else's.
09:29Only these two exist.
09:32And hence, any comparisons must be made only between these two.
09:36All others are secondary.
09:45Looking at somebody else's marks or performance or salary or success is useful, but only in a limited way.
09:53You can look at them just to get a clearer idea of where your current performance stands.
09:59That's the only utility.
10:02Beyond that, the others are not a benchmark.
10:05You are born alone.
10:06You will die alone.
10:07What will you do with others?
10:10When you face pain, it is you who passes through it, who lives through it.
10:16Are you getting it?
10:21So comparisons are alright to the extent they help you see where you currently stand.
10:28But when it comes to having destinations, targets, your target or destination cannot be somebody else.
10:41You cannot have the face or thoughts of your competitor always in your mind.
10:48That does not work.
10:50And that is also indignified.
10:52If somebody's face is always circulating in your thoughts, then you have turned that person into your de facto god.
11:02Now that person is no more a competitor.
11:04He has become your god.
11:05If you are thinking about someone all the time, that person is your god.
11:11Why are you turning a person into your god?
11:17Why?
11:18There is no need.
11:20Four is greater than two.
11:22Let that be a fact.
11:25Let that not become your internal condition.
11:2891 is greater than 84.
11:30That's a fact.
11:31I acknowledge it.
11:32I came to know of it.
11:33I learned from it.
11:34But I cannot let this become my permanent internal occupation.
11:40That follow 91, 91, 91.
11:43No.
11:44Why think of 91?
11:45Why not 100?
11:48Your potential does not stop at 91.
11:52Why do you want to arrest your progress there?
11:54From 84, I want to go 91.
11:56No.
11:58Target 100.
11:59Maybe then you will strike 92.
12:00If you target 91, you will always fall short of 91.
12:05world, the world has to be very delicately utilized.
12:13On one hand, you cannot ignore how the others are doing.
12:17You have to have your eyes open.
12:21You need to see how your classmates are performing in business, how your competitors are performing, what's going around in the world.
12:29You need to have a sense and idea of worldly affairs.
12:33On the other hand, you cannot allow the world to mean too much to you.
12:39There has to be a tightrope walk.
12:41It's a delicate thing.
12:43Know how things are happening.
12:46Have a good idea.
12:47Do not be an ignorant fellow.
12:48But do not let that possess you.
12:55Do not become dominated by the world.
12:59As young people, we want to live free, don't we?
13:03Or do you really enjoy being dominated by others?
13:06So, one form of domination is when somebody starts having a permanent seat in your mind.
13:21Do not let your competitors or friends or enemies or anybody have a seat at the center of your mind.
13:31Nobody deserves that seat.
13:32The center of your mind must be a free, clean and empty place.
13:40And that alone is called freedom.
13:45Somebody you are jealous of, so that fellow becomes the center of your thought.
13:51Then somebody you are very attracted to, that fellow too becomes the center of your thought.
13:56Both these situations are equally bad.
13:58In friendship or in enemy, in admiration or in jealousy, nobody should mean so much to you
14:10that the name, the face, the person becomes your life.
14:17That is the worst kind of slavery possible.
14:19Avoid it.
14:20That is the worst kind of race, the place is the 2004 of your life.
14:21So
14:23I can't get lost.
14:24Even if that's what you are not aware of.
14:26If you think that remembers the right material, it is a true form of drag and your thoughts before it starts.
14:32Because of kings and monks from common means you cannot be exposed to protagonists fajism as the number of people,
14:33and India parties will be null for Sadly than ać¨.
14:35That isweekly even more so powerful for everyone that produces for more than 1 years,
14:39it is 28 years.
14:40That is a new love for us.
14:41Not doing that.
14:42But the reality sites in this world are the best friends when you are going to look separate by one of us.
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