- 4 months ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
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00:03:08THANK YOU
00:03:10DOCTOR
00:03:12I WANT TO BE
00:03:13FRANK
00:03:14WITH YOU
00:03:15I'M ABSOLUTELY
00:03:16CERTAIN
00:03:17THERE'S NOTHING
00:03:18REALLY WRONG WITH ME
00:03:19I'M SURE YOU'LL FEEL
00:03:20DIFFERENTLY
00:03:21WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS OFFICE
00:03:22YOU SEE
00:03:23MOST PEOPLE
00:03:24KNOW NOTHING
00:03:25ABOUT THEMSELVES
00:03:26NOTHING
00:03:27THEIR OWN
00:03:28REAL PERSONALITY
00:03:29IS A COMPLETE
00:03:30STRANGE TO THEM
00:03:32NOW
00:03:33WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO
00:03:34IS TO INTRODUCE YOU
00:03:35meet you no you see I'm a little shy all right what seems to be the truck well
00:03:41it's difficult to show you the symptoms at the moment because it comes and it
00:03:46goes oh it comes and it goes yes it's so unfortunate it's always the same
00:03:55whenever I see a doctor when when I come it goes and when I go it comes mrs.
00:04:02Baker whatever comes and whatever goes there's no denying it worries you a lot
00:04:07so please drop all your inhibitions release your inner self and speak freely
00:04:13what comes and what goes hiccups hiccups yes whenever I get nervous or irritated I
00:04:21get the hiccups it's rather unpleasant and sometimes very uncomfortable well
00:04:26naturally it's a little early to make any diagnosis but you're apparently getting
00:04:29these hiccups because of a nervous condition let's find out what causes
00:04:33that condition sounds plausible thank you would you mind stepping into the next
00:04:36room
00:04:44uh-huh well there's nothing unusual in your childhood let us examine your present
00:04:49life let us look at it through a magnifying glass let us examine every
00:04:53detail mrs. Baker you're married aren't you yes when did you get married when I
00:04:59was 19 how long have you been married for six years to the same husband yes
00:05:03aha doctor please believe me there's nothing wrong with my marriage you could
00:05:07go through all Park Avenue and you wouldn't find a happier couple well I'm
00:05:10sorry but it's my duty to explore every Avenue especially Park Avenue how old is
00:05:15your husband 35 his business he's vice president of insurance company but will you
00:05:18please leave my marriage alone very well just relax we'll talk about something
00:05:22entirely different do you suffer from headaches no how is your appetite good how
00:05:29do you sleep frankly not so well how does your husband sleep very well uh-huh now
00:05:38during one of these sleepless nights when you wriggle around restlessly and you
00:05:42look to your right what you see my dressing table and when you look to your left what
00:05:46you see my husband sleeping yes uh-huh what are you trying to do break up my
00:05:51marriage no just wake up your husband well thank you that'll be all for today
00:05:56doctor my husband has nothing to do with my sleeplessness it's just that I'm
00:06:00super sensitive to noises or to the slightest sound does your husband snore no but I
00:06:06must admit he breathes rather heavily oh he does I don't think there's anything I
00:06:10can do about it after all he has to breathe I suppose so well mrs. Baker I'm afraid
00:06:16your husband's ability to sleep is too big a challenge for you it's rather
00:06:19like well have you ever been on a diet yes a vegetable diet well how would you
00:06:25feel if you had to struggle with a few raw carrots and have someone next you eat a
00:06:28big juicy steak but the large baked banana yeah my husband two weeks ago well
00:06:32didn't it make you nervous no now that you mention it now that I think of it it is
00:06:37rather irritating and not very considerate no it isn't after all husbands
00:06:41expect their wives to keep their figures but on the other hand I would call it a
00:06:43complete lack of cooperation it is
00:06:56Jill dear hello Margie why haven't I heard from you
00:07:01how are you dear all right anything wrong oh Margie you shouldn't have sent me to that
00:07:06dr. Vanguard did you go back to him no and I won't he's not going to break up my
00:07:09marriage there's nothing wrong between Larry and me that's what I say are
00:07:13people talking about it they wouldn't dare in my presence they know you and I
00:07:17are close friends and I always defend you I know dear defend me against what
00:07:22well after all town and country called you the happy Baker's that's kind of
00:07:26sticking out your chin well how many of our friends have stayed married for six
00:07:29years why shouldn't they call us the happy Baker's why not your name is Baker isn't it oh
00:07:34oh Margie I've been perfectly miserable for the last two weeks I'm so marriage
00:07:39conscious whatever I look at whatever I think of I always find myself connecting
00:07:43it with my marriage how I hate that then God yet if I'm honest I must admit what
00:07:49dear well if a wife looks at her husband through a magnifying glass she's bound to
00:07:53see something yes I should think so things I was never aware of before things I
00:07:57never noticed for instance well it's just an illustration but like the other
00:08:02morning you know how difficult it is for me to fall asleep but finally when I'm
00:08:07lucky enough to drop off promptly at 8 15 what do I wake up to a gargle a
00:08:12gargle that's the bugle call of marriage gargle is reveille snore as taps and
00:08:18what is there between at 9 o'clock in the morning he goes out of my life oh my
00:08:23dear isn't it the truth oh I don't know what's the truth anymore I'm completely
00:08:27confused I'm so uncertain I've always heard that the ideal marriage should be
00:08:33something of a mystery your husband should remain a kind of stranger to you
00:08:37someone who's acquaintance you'd like to renew every day you know what I mean yes
00:08:41dear hello oh Margie Larry hello darling hello how are you fine and you okay have a good day
00:08:55yes and you good anything new no with you nothing good I'll see you later well what could he say
00:09:07why of course dear there was nothing new and he frankly admitted it Jill yes darling are the
00:09:14Coopers coming to dinner I don't know yet darling I'll let you know as soon as they
00:09:17phone I wish you would because if they're coming I'll have to shave all right darling I
00:09:21now I don't want to cause any trouble but cold facts are cold facts if mr. and
00:09:29mrs. Cooper come that big awful looking mrs. Cooper he shaves and if he has dinner
00:09:35alone with his wife he doesn't shave and if anybody should shave it's mrs. Cooper I spent
00:09:39three and a half hours today at Elizabeth Arden's but I don't rate a shave my dear that's the
00:09:43trouble with 95% of all marriages husbands don't shave don't men realize that a beard
00:09:48doesn't stop growing at eight o'clock
00:09:53sorry yes they're back fine have a good trip who the Evans say that reminds me that son of a gun
00:10:16promised to call me soon as he got back I'll bet Canal nettle's after everybody's annuity the Evans are
00:10:21still in Bermuda. The hiccups are back. Huh? Oh, the joke's on me, huh? That was very cute.
00:10:43Mary, when you came in just now, you asked me if there was anything new. Oh, say there was something
00:10:49new. And something very important, too. You know who's coming to dinner a week from Thursday?
00:10:53The president of Universal Mattress and the president and secretary treasurer of United
00:10:57Furniture and some other high executives of both companies. Oh, good grief. Oh, I know it's going
00:11:04to be one of those nights, but Universal Mattress and United Furniture have merged. They're reshuffling
00:11:09their entire insurance account. Now, the tough man to crack is Kafka of Universal Mattress.
00:11:14I've done a little detective work. He's Hungarian. As a matter of fact, they're all Hungarian, so
00:11:19let's give the dinner a kind of Hungarian touch, huh? Now, look, Larry. Oh, now, listen, darling.
00:11:23I don't expect you to behave like a gypsy, but let's hire a Hungarian cook and make him a wonderful
00:11:29goulash. Kafka will love it. I'm going to get that insurance account if I have to stuff that
00:11:34Hungarian like one of his own mattresses. Oh, and to make him feel really at home, our foreign division
00:11:40manager tip me out. Just before they start to eat, you say, egg-ish, egg-ish, egg-ish, egg-ish,
00:11:49egg-ish-eggera, egg-ish-eggera. It means to your health or something like that. Egg-ish-eggera.
00:11:56Mm-hmm. Oh, it's just a little thing, but you know how it is. Success in business is 50 percent hard
00:12:03work and 50 percent the right cigar. Egg-ish-eggera. That's great, darling. Swell, only a little more
00:12:11cheerful. You know, egg-ish-eggera. Egg-ish-eggera. Oh, you mean egg-ish-eggera. Egg-ish-eggera.
00:12:19That's it. That's it. That's great, darling. Thanks.
00:12:23Kicks. Larry. Hmm? Why'd you do that? Do what? Kicks. Well, I always do that. Why? Well,
00:12:40why does one do things? But when you do it, what does it mean? Is there some underlying thought?
00:12:46I don't know. I never tried. But you do it to me. Well, you're my wife. And that gives you the right
00:12:55to poke me in the stomach whenever you want to. Darling, don't you feel well? Fine.
00:13:00Fine. Larry, please don't keeks me anymore.
00:13:30I don't know.
00:14:00Move!
00:14:14Move!
00:14:30That was not the dog.
00:14:46That was me.
00:14:56Shhh!
00:15:06How do you do?
00:15:07How do you do?
00:15:08Dr. Vandal will be a little delayed.
00:15:10I hope you don't mind.
00:15:26Ugly, ugly.
00:15:38Aren't they ugly?
00:15:39Who?
00:15:40People.
00:15:41Is there anything uglier than the human face?
00:15:44Do you mind if I smoke?
00:15:53Not at all.
00:15:54Smoke yourself?
00:15:55Yes.
00:15:57You haven't got a cigarette, eh?
00:15:59Yes.
00:16:01Haven't any without tips?
00:16:02Unfortunately not.
00:16:03Sorry.
00:16:04Pui.
00:16:08Change my mind, I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:10I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:11I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:12I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:13You haven't got a cigarette, eh?
00:16:14Yes.
00:16:15You haven't got a cigarette, eh?
00:16:16Yes.
00:16:17Hadn't any without tips?
00:16:18Unfortunately not.
00:16:19Sorry.
00:16:20Maybe I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:21Yes, I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:22I'll have a cigarette.
00:16:23Yes, thank you.
00:16:24Have you, uh, seen this doctor before?
00:16:41Yes.
00:16:42What must he charge?
00:16:43I really don't know.
00:16:44I haven't asked.
00:16:45Oh.
00:16:46You didn't have to.
00:16:48We didn't have to.
00:16:50Dr. Vanguard just phoned. He'll be detained at least another half hour.
00:16:53Another half hour?
00:16:55Well, we have two alternatives.
00:16:57We can read a magazine or we can talk.
00:16:59This is a lovely day, isn't it?
00:17:01Yes.
00:17:02Well, that takes care of that. Let's forget it.
00:17:04Do I bore you?
00:17:05No, on the contrary.
00:17:06Let me warn you that I say what I think. I'm a complete individualist.
00:17:09Oh, really?
00:17:10I'm against communism, capitalism, fascism, Nazism.
00:17:13I'm against everything and everybody.
00:17:15I hate my fellow man and he hates me.
00:17:17Sounds rather amusing.
00:17:19So I amuse you. I'm a clown, eh? Pagliacci.
00:17:22Oh, no, I didn't say that.
00:17:24All right, don't apologize.
00:17:26Is, uh, Vanguard a good doctor?
00:17:28I'm sure he'll do you a lot of good.
00:17:30Why do you say that?
00:17:32What's wrong with me?
00:17:34I really wouldn't know. After all, I'm not the psychoanalyst.
00:17:37Uh-huh. What's wrong with you?
00:17:40Nothing.
00:17:42Why, you're here.
00:17:43You don't go to a psychoanalyst to have a tooth filled.
00:17:46So what's wrong?
00:17:47I think we'd better read magazines.
00:17:49All right.
00:17:51Go to theirama.
00:17:58Go.
00:18:00Go.
00:18:01Go.
00:18:03Go, that way.
00:18:04I hate to bother you again, but what does one have to do to be happy?
00:18:26I think Dr. Van Gaard would know more about that than I.
00:18:29More than you, Mrs. Baker.
00:18:34Oh, that article.
00:18:39You know, Mrs. Baker, this is the first time in my life I've ever met a really happy person.
00:18:44Seems to irritate you.
00:18:45No, no, it makes me curious.
00:18:47I've often wondered what it would be like to be happy 24 hours a day.
00:18:51Must be wonderful.
00:18:52One gets used to it.
00:18:54In the morning, you are awakened by the twitter of a little bird.
00:18:57Before breakfast, you and Mr. Baker dance a minuet.
00:19:00Then the happy breakfast starts.
00:19:02You are happy.
00:19:04Mr. Baker is happy.
00:19:05The eggs are happy.
00:19:07The hens who laid the eggs are happy.
00:19:09Now, look here.
00:19:10My presence seems to annoy you, so I think I'll leave.
00:19:13No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Baker, but if you feel that way, naturally it is I who'll go.
00:19:16Oh, no.
00:19:17I'm afraid you need the doctor more than I.
00:19:19Are you sure, Mrs. Baker?
00:19:21You see, that's an interesting question.
00:19:23We're both here for the same reason.
00:19:24Happiness.
00:19:25One has not enough.
00:19:27One has too much.
00:19:29Who needs the doctor more?
00:19:31Now, that's interesting, isn't it?
00:19:32Well, rather, but I don't like to discuss it.
00:19:35Yes, I understand, Mrs. Baker.
00:19:37Well, I'm very happy to have met you.
00:19:38I'm very sorry if I've offended you.
00:19:40Goodbye, Mrs. Baker.
00:19:41Goodbye.
00:19:46Oui.
00:19:46Oh, just a moment.
00:19:48Yes?
00:19:49May I ask you one question?
00:19:51Certainly.
00:19:52Yes.
00:19:54What's wrong with that picture?
00:19:57Are you really interested?
00:19:58Yes.
00:20:00Sit down.
00:20:03Now, this artist saw no more in that tree than the camera which photographed the happy Mrs. Baker.
00:20:09It's only the surface.
00:20:12Art goes much deeper.
00:20:15You see, if I were a painter and I were to paint you, I don't know what the picture would look like.
00:20:21It wouldn't look like that photograph.
00:20:24Do I make sense?
00:20:26Yes.
00:20:28Quite a bit of sense.
00:20:29Yes.
00:20:29Quite a bit of sense.
00:20:29How do you do?
00:20:50Hello, Sebastian.
00:20:51Hello.
00:20:52Oh, by the way, my name is Sebastian.
00:20:54Oh.
00:20:55Alexander Sebastian.
00:20:57And they mean anything to you?
00:20:58Be frank.
00:20:59Well, if you insist, no.
00:21:01It's all right.
00:21:01It's all right.
00:21:01Why should it?
00:21:02Let's look at the pictures.
00:21:09Number 15.
00:21:12Child with trumpet.
00:21:15No good.
00:21:16I was afraid it was.
00:21:18The artist hasn't found himself yet.
00:21:21When he does find himself, where is he?
00:21:24Child with trumpet.
00:21:25Child's all right.
00:21:27But he's missed very badly on the trumpet.
00:21:29Didn't he?
00:21:29Didn't he?
00:21:32That won't live.
00:21:33I hope not.
00:21:36Fui.
00:21:40That's almost great.
00:21:44Who painted it?
00:21:45A woman.
00:21:46A woman.
00:21:46No man could be so malicious.
00:21:5026.
00:21:52Eleanor Stroud.
00:21:54Portrait of Alexander Sebastian.
00:21:56No use denying it.
00:21:57That's me.
00:21:58That woman didn't paint me.
00:22:00She performed an autopsy.
00:22:01She saw me.
00:22:02Frankly, the whole thing looks to me like a puzzle.
00:22:05Puzzle.
00:22:06That's correct.
00:22:07Good.
00:22:07I was a puzzle to her, but she was no puzzle to me.
00:22:11And that's her revenge.
00:22:13When I first saw that picture, I was terribly upset.
00:22:16I don't blame you.
00:22:22What do these notes mean?
00:22:24I'm a musician, a pianist.
00:22:26Oh, a pianist.
00:22:30And this pedestal here?
00:22:32Well, that indicates greatness.
00:22:37Tell me, why didn't she put your statue there?
00:22:39Is there any reason?
00:22:40There is.
00:22:42You see that little line?
00:22:43You mean this line?
00:22:44That's my whole trouble.
00:22:47Oh.
00:22:48That line sent me to Dr. Vanguard.
00:22:50Well, you might as well know that I...
00:22:52I'm inhibited.
00:22:54Artistically.
00:22:55Let's have a drink.
00:22:56Oh, just a moment.
00:22:56Just a moment.
00:22:58What about this clock?
00:22:59The clock?
00:23:00Yes.
00:23:01Oh, that never should have been there.
00:23:03Why?
00:23:04Well, I...
00:23:05That's a personal matter.
00:23:09Are you sorry that you came here?
00:23:11Oh, no.
00:23:12No, on the contrary.
00:23:13It's all so fascinating.
00:23:15It's a new world.
00:23:16I can't quite grasp it.
00:23:17Whatever you want to know about me, just ask me.
00:23:20Uh, that, uh, that clock shows 12.15.
00:23:23Is it 12.15 by accident, or does it mean something?
00:23:26It means something.
00:23:27Oh.
00:23:28Let's stop talking about myself.
00:23:30Let's talk about something else.
00:23:31When is your next concert?
00:23:33Yes, when?
00:23:35When I overcome it.
00:23:36Overcome what?
00:23:37That little line.
00:23:40Oh, you mean your inhibition.
00:23:41Yes.
00:23:42You see, when I play...
00:23:43Tell me, uh, this, uh, 12.15, is it noon?
00:23:47Midnight.
00:23:48Any particular midnight?
00:23:49Mm-hmm.
00:23:50Oh.
00:23:52Coming back to my inhibitions, when I play in a drawing room...
00:23:56Oh, pardon me.
00:23:56Uh, was it, uh, Eastern Standard Time?
00:23:59Daylight saving.
00:24:00Summer?
00:24:01Yes.
00:24:02Oh.
00:24:03Well, when I play in a drawing room for just one person, the right person, I'll be perfectly
00:24:09frank with you, I don't think there's a greater pianist in the world.
00:24:13But as soon as I get in a concert hall in front of an audience, no, something gets lost.
00:24:18Those faces staring at me.
00:24:20What right have they to come in and stare at me?
00:24:23What right have they to listen to me?
00:24:24Just because I pay two dollars.
00:24:26In some cases, $2.50.
00:24:27Why do I bother you with all this?
00:24:29Oh, but I'm glad you did.
00:24:30It's fascinating.
00:24:32You are a puzzle, Mr. Alexander Sebastian.
00:24:34And don't you try to solve me, Mrs. Happy Baker.
00:24:37Come on.
00:25:03Mrs. Kopka.
00:25:04Mr. Januszczyk.
00:25:09Mrs. Jaroszy.
00:25:12Mr. Jones.
00:25:13Jones?
00:25:14How does a foreigner like that get in here tonight?
00:25:16He's Mr. Baker's lawyer.
00:25:18Oh.
00:25:19Well, I suppose you always have to have a lawyer with Hungarians.
00:25:30Good evening, sir.
00:25:31Good evening.
00:25:31How's the goulash coming?
00:25:32Fine, Mr. Baker.
00:25:33Did a package arrive for me?
00:25:35Oh, yes, sir.
00:25:49Hello, darling.
00:25:50Hello, dear.
00:25:51Anything to you?
00:25:52No.
00:25:53Have a good day?
00:25:54Marvelous.
00:25:56All set for a big night?
00:25:57All set.
00:25:58Remember your word?
00:26:01Eggishigera.
00:26:01Eggishigera.
00:26:02That's it.
00:26:03Good.
00:26:06What is it?
00:26:08Your package had a rod, sir.
00:26:10Albert didn't tell me.
00:26:11Oh, fine.
00:26:11Oh, fine.
00:26:11Oh, good evening.
00:26:14Oh, fine.
00:26:15Oh, fine, sir.
00:26:21Hold on.
00:26:22Oh, Кол.
00:26:28cek."
00:26:33Oh, my son.
00:26:33Oh, my God.
00:26:35Oh, my God.
00:26:35Oh, my God.
00:26:36Oh, my God.
00:26:37Oh, my God.
00:26:38Mr. Baker hmm may I ask what you're doing here waiting oh you're waiting tell me how soon do
00:27:01we have dinner dinner that's what I was invited for oh I'm sorry tell me are you with Universal
00:27:13mattress or United furniture I'm not with anything oh playing both sides huh well it's not such a bad
00:27:20idea say tell me how do you feel about mr. Kafka indifferent I can tell you nobody's gonna put
00:27:29anything over on him he's pretty smart I think it's very clever that they've merged merger will out
00:27:34want it look you want me to enjoy this evening don't you why yes sir I come here this vase insults me
00:27:51it's ugly let's put it away oh sure of course the customer's always right anything else in the room
00:28:01you like to change lots well I think we're gonna have a very enjoyable evening I'll let you in a
00:28:08little secret we've got goulash goulash yeah goulash scrambled eggs for me only a suggestion
00:28:18um will you forgive me I must dress just continue to make yourself at home
00:28:26these Hungarians are certainly funny people have they come one of them has looked here aren't we
00:28:42dressing why well he isn't oh that's mr. Sebastian the bet who's he with with he's against everything
00:28:50he's an individual is he that rich oh he doesn't care anything about money how do you know dear it's
00:28:59Sebastian Alexander Sebastian I told you the other day but that's the trouble you never listen to
00:29:04everything I say makes no impression oh I remember now that piano player he's not a piano player he's a
00:29:10piano and pretty soon he'll be very important someday you may be very happy to ensure a time for a
00:29:16hundred thousand dollars look darling I'm giving this dinner especially for these Hungarians could
00:29:20he pay a premium I don't know and I don't care you know sometimes I don't understand you here we've
00:29:27got a five hundred thousand dollar insurance possibility tonight I've gone to all this trouble to get up a
00:29:32special Hungarian evening for the president of universal mattress and you invite this piano player
00:29:36you should know better musicians and mattresses don't mix look Larry for six years I've been living
00:29:42insurance and I'm tired of being an annuity can't I just myself spend one evening with Rimsky Korsakoff
00:29:47and Stravinsky Rimsky Korsakoff Stravinsky who else is coming why didn't you invite the whole
00:29:53Philharmonic and have them bring Dean Taylor along as commentator oh all right all right let's drop the
00:29:58whole thing if you don't want him to play he won't play play say that's not a bad idea maybe
00:30:05could liven up the party huh if mr. Sebastian consents to play which I doubt but if he does consent it
00:30:10won't be Hungarian swing well what will it be something you'd have to pay two and a half dollars
00:30:15to hear you mean like Carnegie Hall exactly not in my house not tonight what's this oh that's a
00:30:33reproduction of a painting I saw in an art gallery do you like that love it well what is it can't you
00:30:43see now listen quit kidding me what is it it's a portrait a portrait of what listen I know I'm just a
00:30:54poor ignorant insurance dope and I don't know anything about Stravinsky but we've been married for six
00:30:59years and I think I've made you a pretty good husband when I ask you a question you still
00:31:02ought to do me the courtesy of answering you don't have to make fun of me you know what this is the
00:31:11Grand Canyon thank you and that's why mr. Kafka we're the only company boy oh very reasonable let's
00:31:30talk about it after that yes indeed after dinner we'll have a good long talk right here all right
00:31:34you mean not even learn great especially not lonely I give you all a partner except one passage in
00:31:49Tristan that's really good but you never hear it played right perhaps someday I could hear you played
00:31:53as it should be played perhaps I don't eat strawberries oh I'm sorry
00:31:59all right everything all right mr. Kafka mm-hmm good
00:32:17I thank you so much mrs. Baker you make one feel at home
00:32:47home that's what I call hospitality mr. Baker I didn't know she knew it I wonder why she picked
00:32:52that up what does it mean to your head oh isn't that nice and she pronounced it so well
00:32:57how come she speak Hungarian were you born in Hungary I studied music in Budapest I lived at what's the name of the
00:33:13the street on the street on Borussia
00:33:28one front in charge of all poets but she didn't know she was
00:33:42where she was 14 years old she wanted me thank you and I did not see how she would
00:33:48come here she was 14 years old she wanted me honey in bold play
00:33:52Over here, over here, over here.
00:34:22Over here, over here.
00:34:24Over here, over here.
00:34:26Over here, over here.
00:34:28Over here, over here.
00:34:30Over here, over here.
00:34:32I just got a call.
00:34:34Kofka's launching with the Hudson Insurance people tomorrow.
00:34:36It's tonight or never.
00:34:38What about the legal angle?
00:34:40My office is working overtime drawing up the contract.
00:34:42All right, I'll go right after.
00:34:44Well, enjoy the goulash, Mr. Kofka?
00:34:46Good goulash.
00:34:48Very good goulash.
00:34:50I got that up. Now, here are the details.
00:34:52Jarosheen! Oslo, come here a minute. After all, we are partners.
00:34:56I want you to listen to Mr. Finker's proposition.
00:34:58Here it is in a nutshell.
00:35:00Everybody, please, I have a treat for you.
00:35:02Mr. Sebastian, you know, is a very well-known pianist,
00:35:04and he's kindly consented to play for us.
00:35:06So, if you'll all be seated.
00:35:13Does he have to play?
00:35:15Don't worry.
00:35:20Mrs. Baker.
00:35:25Yes, Mrs. Spaff. Here.
00:35:31Would you mind moving from here, please?
00:35:33Yes.
00:35:47It's locked.
00:35:49That's odd.
00:35:51The key.
00:35:53Two silly words.
00:35:55Who could have locked the cannon? Where's the key?
00:35:57I don't know. It's a funny idea.
00:35:58Why should anybody lock the cannon?
00:35:59She's too ridiculous.
00:36:00Why should anyone lock the cannon?
00:36:02Where's the key?
00:36:06As I was saying, Mr. Cropshire,
00:36:08my proposition's a very simple one, but a very sound one.
00:36:10I broke it.
00:36:11I broke it.
00:36:12Don't you worry.
00:36:13I won't.
00:36:14Now, Mr. Sebastian, please tell us.
00:36:16What are you going to play?
00:36:18Well, first I'm going to play...
00:36:21Mrs. Baker.
00:36:23Yes, Mr. Sebastian.
00:36:25Yes, Mr. Sebastian.
00:36:28All right.
00:36:29I shall begin with a sonata pathetique by Beethoven.
00:36:41A sonata in three movements.
00:36:43And afterwards, if I feel like it, I shall play Hoff's 11 variations on the second theme of the first movement.
00:36:50The only one I ever heard lasted three cigars.
00:36:52It's a catastrophe.
00:36:53It's a disaster.
00:36:54Jones were sunk.
00:37:20What are you going to play with?
00:37:21I shall return to the other sea.
00:37:22I shall try but'm not in the same way.
00:37:23I shall be with you.
00:37:24It's a disaster.
00:37:25It's a disaster.
00:37:26It's a disaster.
00:37:27In my fucking mind, my sonata's death.
00:37:28A house is a disaster.
00:37:29What a house is to die.
00:37:30The only one I ever heard Vouet Cherise.
00:37:31Is that a dream?
00:37:32And that's a disaster.
00:37:33I feel like it's a disaster.
00:37:34You could see you.
00:37:35I feel like it's a disaster.
00:37:36I love you,antly.
00:37:37I feel like it's a disaster.
00:37:38I can't find it.
00:37:39I've been at a house.
00:37:40I feel like it's a disaster.
00:37:41No, I feel like it's a disaster.
00:37:43She's a disaster.
00:37:44I'm still like the city.
00:38:15Alexander, stop it.
00:38:34Please, don't.
00:38:42No. No.
00:38:45No. No.
00:39:11You know, Jones, I'm glad you got that clause in the contract.
00:39:24It saved our necks.
00:39:25Another...
00:39:26Wait a minute.
00:39:31I'm going to have some fun.
00:39:36How do you do?
00:39:37How do you do, sir?
00:39:38About that picture in the window.
00:39:39It's very good, don't you think?
00:39:41No fooling.
00:39:41What is it?
00:39:42It's a portrait of a man.
00:39:44Oh.
00:39:46Well, certainly.
00:39:46What else could it be?
00:39:47Excuse me, sir.
00:39:48Not everybody understands modern art.
00:39:51Well, thanks.
00:39:52If you're interested, it's only $500.
00:39:54$500?
00:39:55Must be quite a man.
00:39:56Well, it's not the man.
00:39:58He happens to be rather an obscure musician.
00:40:00Musician?
00:40:00What kind of a musician?
00:40:01A pianist, I think.
00:40:03Is it by any chance Alexander Sebastian?
00:40:06Well, that's who it is.
00:40:08You recognized him.
00:40:09He seems to be a friend of yours.
00:40:10Wouldn't it be amusing to have him at your home permanently?
00:40:15Not very amusing.
00:40:25A cheap guy like that.
00:40:28Who?
00:40:29Him.
00:40:32Goodbye, Jones.
00:40:33Hello, darling.
00:40:57Hello?
00:40:57Isn't this a nice surprise for you?
00:41:01Yes, very nice.
00:41:03A merry farmer.
00:41:06What's he so merry about?
00:41:08Oh, darling, you don't begrudge me a little music, do you?
00:41:10Oh, no.
00:41:12Anything new?
00:41:13Well, this, isn't it enough?
00:41:15Yeah, plenty.
00:41:16Have a good day?
00:41:17Fine.
00:41:18You seem to be feeling better these days.
00:41:20Oh, yes.
00:41:21I slept ten hours last night.
00:41:23And, Barry, the hiccups have completely disappeared.
00:41:25Isn't that good news?
00:41:26Yeah, very good news.
00:41:29Are you still going to Dr. Vanguard?
00:41:31Oh, no.
00:41:32I don't need Dr. Vanguard anymore.
00:41:34I'm so busy with my music and visiting art galleries
00:41:37that I haven't even time to think of any doctor.
00:41:39Oh.
00:41:41Isn't that wonderful?
00:41:43You know, I'm beginning to see something in this.
00:41:47Yeah, it starts to look like a man.
00:41:51Huh?
00:41:53Why did you say that?
00:41:55Well, the other night...
00:41:56Oh, you did that seriously.
00:41:57I was only kidding.
00:41:59How could that be a man?
00:42:00I was nervous about the dinner party,
00:42:02and I said whatever came into my mind.
00:42:04I'm sorry, darling.
00:42:05No, dear, no.
00:42:06I don't agree with you.
00:42:07It does look like a man.
00:42:08Now, don't be stubborn.
00:42:09Can't you take a joke?
00:42:11Well, then, what is it?
00:42:14It's a meadow.
00:42:16It's called meadow in spring.
00:42:18Oh, in spring.
00:42:20Yeah.
00:42:21And those little notes of music, what do they mean?
00:42:26That's the shepherd playing his pipe.
00:42:28Shepherds play pipes, don't they?
00:42:30Oh, sure, yeah.
00:42:32And the clock at 12.15?
00:42:34Oh, I don't know exactly what that means,
00:42:36but I guess it's probably lunch.
00:42:39The shepherd eats, and then he plays his pipe.
00:42:41Really, darling, you talk as though you've never been in a meadow.
00:42:44You see, in modern art,
00:42:45they're trying to break down the conventional form.
00:42:47They're trying to get away from what you expect.
00:42:50It's all done by indication.
00:42:56What are you doing?
00:42:57Oh, I'm just putting a mustache on the shepherd.
00:43:00Oh, I'm just putting a mustache on the ground.
00:43:01Oh, I'm just putting a mustache on the ground.
00:43:06Knock that guy right through his piano.
00:43:08Now, that'd be the worst thing you could do.
00:43:10You'd just make her feel sorry for her.
00:43:12Don't make a martyr of it.
00:43:14You've got to look at this thing from a woman's angle.
00:43:17Now, wait a minute.
00:43:22Miss Agin, will you come in, please?
00:43:24Miss Agin's, we want a woman's point of view on a certain situation.
00:43:36Now, Mr. Baker has a friend, and he's in trouble.
00:43:39Who, Mr. Baker?
00:43:40No, the friend.
00:43:41Oh, Mr. Baker.
00:43:43Oh, shh, shh, shh.
00:43:44Now, Mr. Baker has nothing whatever to do with it.
00:43:47Let's call the friend Mr. Brown.
00:43:50Now, Mr. Brown has a wife.
00:43:51Mrs. Brown.
00:43:52Exactly.
00:43:53Mr. and Mrs. Brown have been married for, uh, how long?
00:43:57Well, I'll say six years.
00:43:59They live in Toledo.
00:44:00Six years in Toledo?
00:44:01That's bad.
00:44:02All right, then.
00:44:03Let's say New York.
00:44:05Now, Mr. Brown is worried about his marriage.
00:44:07Things are not going along as well as they used to.
00:44:09What kind of a man is this, Mr. Brown?
00:44:11Very nice.
00:44:13Wouldn't you say so?
00:44:14Yes, very nice.
00:44:15Is he attractive?
00:44:16Very attractive.
00:44:17Don't you think so?
00:44:19Yes.
00:44:19And yet she's complaining.
00:44:20Well, she's drifting away from him.
00:44:23Yes.
00:44:24And he wants to get things back on the old basis.
00:44:26Who doesn't?
00:44:28Yes.
00:44:28Now, Miss Higgins, as a woman, I'm asking you, what is the right approach?
00:44:34Well, I should say a mink coat would do the trick.
00:44:37She has a mink coat.
00:44:38Then what's she complaining about?
00:44:41Thank you, Miss Higgins.
00:44:42That's all.
00:44:43Well, gentlemen, you wanted to get a woman's point of view.
00:44:46Just a moment.
00:44:47Now, look here.
00:44:48Mrs. Brown is interested in another man.
00:44:50Oh.
00:44:51Does Mr. Brown know?
00:44:52Yes.
00:44:53Has he any proof?
00:44:54Too much.
00:44:54Has he any witnesses?
00:44:55No.
00:44:55Then he's sunk.
00:44:57Thank you, Miss Higgins.
00:44:58Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Baker, but if there aren't any witnesses, she's going to deny it,
00:45:01if you want the woman's angle.
00:45:03Miss Higgins, we're thoroughly satisfied.
00:45:04Well, I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice.
00:45:08I probably have too much sympathy for Mr. Brown and not enough patience with Mrs. Brown.
00:45:12We get cases like that every day.
00:45:14The wife is bored, marriage is just a habit, but on the other hand, she accepts everything
00:45:19her husband gives her.
00:45:20I think she ought to be kicked out.
00:45:22Do I sound old-fashioned?
00:45:24We'll let you know, Miss Higgins.
00:45:25Well, anyway, I think Mr. Brown is a pretty swell guy.
00:45:28I've always thought so.
00:45:31Some woman.
00:45:32Yeah.
00:45:32She certainly had a couple of interesting angles.
00:45:34I didn't notice them.
00:45:35Good.
00:45:37Now, Larry, you still love your wife, don't you?
00:45:39Yeah.
00:45:40Well, where are you going from here?
00:45:42I have a dinner appointment with old C.K. Higgins at his club.
00:45:45How can I sell insurance with this in my mind?
00:45:46It's a big deal, too.
00:45:47Now, listen.
00:45:48Forget Higgins.
00:45:49Forget insurance.
00:45:51Go home.
00:45:52There's only one thing you have to sell.
00:45:54Yourself.
00:45:55The most important client you ever had in your life is waiting for you.
00:45:58And her name is Mrs. Baker.
00:46:00Now, you're the best salesman in the business.
00:46:03There's nothing wrong with your marriage.
00:46:05You just have to resell it once in a while.
00:46:08Not so easy.
00:46:09Well, who said it was?
00:46:11Was it easy to sell Hale insurance in Southern California?
00:46:15Just find the right slant.
00:46:17A new one.
00:46:18Selling marriage with a new slant?
00:46:20A new slant.
00:46:21I'm a bad idea.
00:46:23But what is that new slant?
00:46:25If that's what I'd like to know, what is it, what is it, what is it?
00:46:27Selling marriage with a new slant.
00:46:29Oh, nice surprise, eh?
00:46:56Ah, hello, my genius.
00:47:01Who are you going to be this evening?
00:47:04Come, tell your little cadenza.
00:47:06Are you Mozart?
00:47:08Playful?
00:47:09Tender?
00:47:10Or are you the thundering Beethoven?
00:47:12Strong, fiery, unyielding?
00:47:15Come, darling.
00:47:16Tell your little cadenza.
00:47:17Ah!
00:47:18Da, da, get who is here.
00:47:30Get who is here, get who is here.
00:47:33It is Bolton, the God of God, coming down to her.
00:47:40Anything serious?
00:47:41No, she just fainted.
00:47:43Oh, well, women are always fainted.
00:47:45Any particular reason?
00:47:48No, no.
00:47:50She just thought I was a genius.
00:47:51Then she found out I wasn't and it was too much for her.
00:47:54Please make yourself at home.
00:47:55I'll be right back.
00:47:56I want to get some smelling salts.
00:47:57Now look, Vicka, let's get this straight.
00:48:17There's going to be a very heated discussion.
00:48:19We're going to insult each other.
00:48:21It can't be avoided.
00:48:22You're going to accuse me of something which I'm going to deny and you're not going to believe.
00:48:25So before this battle starts, let's get one thing straight.
00:48:29I'm not going to fight.
00:48:30My hands are my only livelihood and I'm not going to risk them on your jaw.
00:48:34Here, Mozart, wake up your little cadenza.
00:48:49What's happened?
00:48:50Well, I...
00:48:51I...
00:48:52You!
00:48:53Oh, that's very funny.
00:48:58You know what I thought?
00:48:59Look, I think I...
00:49:01What?
00:49:03What?
00:49:07Hello?
00:49:24Hello, Jones.
00:49:26I'm still selling.
00:49:27You were right.
00:49:28It needed an entirely new slant.
00:49:30I think I've got a new one.
00:49:32You have a new one.
00:49:33What?
00:49:34I think I've got a new one.
00:49:34I've got a new one.
00:49:39Bye.
00:49:39I want a new one.
00:49:42I think I could work for you, Erick.
00:49:43I think we'll tolerate this one.
00:49:44It just watershhesia.
00:49:45Oh, love you.
00:49:46Do you feel like winter?
00:49:47I don't want to tell me?
00:49:47Here, what is yours?
00:49:48Here, what?
00:49:48How?
00:49:49I slash, HarEh...
00:49:49Can I see you?
00:49:50There, Tim.
00:49:52We are going to...
00:49:53I think we're coming to them.
00:49:54There we are going to happen.
00:49:55It's also going to get a new woman.
00:49:56But I'm going to be of mine andав Kevin.
00:49:57And I'm going to está on that new one.
00:49:58I don't trust you oh come on have a cigar either you have something in the back of your mind or
00:50:21that cigar stinks oh no that's the same cigar I give my customers how old are you Sebastian not
00:50:28as old as you right in the prime of life huh you're in good health good enough even better
00:50:35after I've had dinner but I'm not going to fight no no no I don't want to fight but you might run
00:50:41into a husband sometime who hasn't my respect for great music where would you be then come on
00:50:47Sebastian I'm going to do something for you whether you like it or not I'm going to insure
00:50:52your hands that'll give you complete freedom of action it'll give me five percent and we'll both
00:50:58be happy I'm not going to fight no I know I understand you're an isolationist isolate yourself
00:51:07over there you know the best part of this whole thing is that we sit down
00:51:13we can write this hand insurance as a subclause to your life insurance life insurance what do I
00:51:21want with life insurance I'm Jenny dependents any relatives relatives fui I'll tell you you can
00:51:27leave it to my wife she can buy herself a beautiful brooch in the shape of a piano with little diamond
00:51:32keys and then every time she pins it on she'll think of poor dear Sebastian believe me if anybody
00:51:38should ensure his life it's you and right now well then where were you born I'm not going to fight
00:51:57so you love my wife don't you love your wife be so that's what you've been driving at oh no I
00:52:11understand the whole thing oh really thank you you should be a little ashamed yourself great big
00:52:17insurance man like you deal so successfully with human nature you should know better than that
00:52:25naturally I think it was very attractive very charming she likes music what's that thing loaded
00:52:32yeah oh now look Baker get it out of your mind I don't love your wife well it's going to be a great
00:52:41day in the musical heaven I can just see Beethoven calling over to Mozart hey Mozart dust off the piano
00:52:47look who's coming a little genius it's not funny this isn't funny either I love my wife I've loved her
00:52:52for six years for six years we've been together and along comes a guy like you and breaks everything
00:52:57up just because you've nothing else to do I'm not going to get away with it love my wife earnestly and
00:53:05sincerely and you'd come to me and told me about it well that would have been one of those things
00:53:09I'm not old-fashioned you both felt that you would have been happier without me what can I have
00:53:15done pack my suitcase I wouldn't have to do this oh you know Baker kind of had me worried there for a
00:53:25minute when you pulled out that revolver I thought he is a conventional citizen no sense telling the
00:53:31truth to a man like that but now I see the real Baker modern up-to-date Baker I'm gonna open up to you
00:53:40of course I love your wife you're sure positive well then I won't have to shoot you I don't think
00:53:48it'll be necessary well we've got a clean cut situation on our hands you love my wife and my
00:53:54wife loves you well oh yes she does I've seen it with my own eyes well there's only one thing left for
00:54:00me to do hello hello Jonesy I'm still selling
00:54:11I'm sorry I slipped back into the old-fashioned Baker I probably won't do it again I'm not gonna fight
00:54:35hello this is Lawrence Baker I want to reserve a room for tonight I'll be right over thanks
00:54:45are you really moving on well yes certainly I think I should leave the apartment to her you do yes
00:54:59this is only fair don't you think so yes I think that seems to be the best approach well I'm glad
00:55:05you think so no no I don't want there to be any bitterness no definitely I'm in a position to give
00:55:11her security to take care of her future but why not she deserves it don't you think so hmm yes yes
00:55:17yes I do after all she's given me the best years of her life yes I'll take some wonderful memories with
00:55:23me she's nice girl isn't she hmm yes yes very nice well she has a fault well who hasn't that's true
00:55:32that's true uh it's a for Sebastian if you should ever run into one of her bad moods all you have to do
00:55:38is oh no perhaps I better not tell you come on now don't act like little boy what is it kind of
00:55:46personal life come on come on what is it if you ever should run into one of her bad moods you want
00:55:52to snap her right out of it there's only one way to do it what's that just keeps her keeps her how do you
00:56:02do that just keep she liked that insane about it thanks
00:56:11now about the cause for divorce according to the New York state law one of the parties must have a
00:56:31correspondent oh there must be some less embarrassing way not in New York well you don't have to do it
00:56:36I'll get the correspondent oh no I wouldn't like to put you in that position that's all right but
00:56:41why should you take the blame well it's okay it's quick and painless very wide of you Baker thanks
00:56:45Sebastian that leaves the property settled the following agreement has been reached between
00:56:50Lawrence Baker here and after referred to as a party of the first part and Jill Baker here and after
00:56:54referred to as the party of the second part it is understood that the party of the first part
00:56:58transfers title to the apartment at 685 Park Avenue to the party of the second part what about furnishings
00:57:05yes what about them well I didn't understand that oh yes I want everything transferred to
00:57:10uh to the party of the second part can't we take that up later no let's get everything settled now
00:57:16you're entitled to it oh now look now he's only trying to be fair you're too generous no despair that's
00:57:22all well if there's anything you want oh I don't need anything what would I do with it but he lives in a
00:57:29hotel where would he put it he'd only have to pay storage that's right well I'd better change this
00:57:34what's his name John I don't trust him well here we are Baker versus Baker sounds awful doesn't
00:57:53it everything legal does oh about this correspondent yes who's it going to be oh I don't know anyone in
00:58:01mind hmm I have several promising prospects oh you have mm-hmm yes I think we can clear up the
00:58:08whole matter in about four weeks sounds pretty good tell me it isn't Mary Logan Mary Logan is a
00:58:14correspondent I think I can do better than that after everything's straightened out I think I'll take a
00:58:19trip to South America is it one of my friends no you know I never cared very much for your friends
00:58:25someone I know darling this is a divorce not 20 questions oh I'm just curious oh don't worry you
00:58:31can rely on me I won't disgrace the family name no it's good Mary do you really want this divorce
00:58:43absolutely don't you well well don't tell me you don't want it that'd be a great disappointment
00:58:49after all you're seriously in love with Sebastian otherwise you wouldn't have well we wouldn't be
00:58:56here you're too fine a person Jill to have done all this just to fill out your day I've always believed
00:59:03that you're sincere I still I'd like to take that memory with me I'm sorry if I hurt you don't worry
00:59:16there'll be no bitterness honey isn't it six years you were my husband now you're the party of the first
00:59:24spot I used to be your gym and now I'm here enough to refer to him that's all well everything's taken care
00:59:38of what's the matter what'd you do no I'm just one of us on the details I don't trust you Baker darling
00:59:49there's nothing to worry about it's a very clean-cut agreement Alexander please I'm so nervous can't
00:59:54you understand of course we all have our little moods now let's read this again the following
01:00:11agreement is unnecessary unless we can agree on the correspondence what's not a good business
01:00:15darling it is keep quiet it is my business you're not going to make me the laughingstock of the whole
01:00:19town with some girl a girl I don't even know oh no you're not gonna have that chance Mr. Baker goodbye
01:00:23Keeks don't do that big Jill Jill Jill and that my dear Mr. Jones is what is known as protecting your
01:00:38original investment let's get a drink I think you've softened that softened her destroyed her she's
01:00:44going to come back and eat out of my hand and what I'm going to do to mrs. Jill Baker here and after
01:00:48refer to as Jill glam Baker if you want to buy a good piano cheap Jones you can have it oh am I
01:00:54going to be difficult I'm going to be the mad dog of 685 Park Avenue Kyle Baker mr. Jones yes
01:01:04mrs. Baker about this correspondent what does the law require well she you know in case I have the
01:01:10correspondence oh well you have to be found alone with him in your apartment and he with his coat
01:01:16off I see Alexander yes darling are you willing to take your coat off for me anything you say darling
01:01:22oh no no no no oh yes you mean you really want to do that I do you want to compromise me with that
01:01:28guy you seem to forget bigger that she's in love with that guy Keith you brute Alexander Alexander Alexander
01:01:38Alexander Snoogee Snoogee calling that Snoogee come on darling there you are you'll be all right sit down
01:01:48here yeah for six years I've been married to a brute and I didn't know it a divorce yes that's the only
01:01:54solution all right why don't you go to Reno yes Reno I don't want to go away oh darling how are you
01:01:59unshaken would you establish residence in Pennsylvania Pennsylvania it's around Philadelphia isn't in the
01:02:04neighborhood yeah that's not bad they've got a good orchestra easy to communicate with New York
01:02:09very well shall we say Pennsylvania all right Pennsylvania China anyway only let's get it over with
01:02:13okay let's look up Pennsylvania Pennsylvania there that's Snoogee you're going to get your divorce if
01:02:26it's the last thing I do section 10 innocent spouse may get divorced provided the other spouse shall have
01:02:32by cruel and barbarous treatment rendered life intolerable and burdensome to said innocent spouse
01:02:38sounds promising shouldn't be difficult for you to be barbarous no my innocent spouse
01:02:43what do I have to do well let's call in a witness let's say my secretary and first you two start a
01:02:50quarrel pleasure and then I'd say maybe you slap her face slap her face oh no you can hit a man but you
01:02:57don't dare strike a woman you coward you all right I'll do it never now let's rehearse the whole thing
01:03:03now here's the plan miss agent will you come in please right away mr. Jones
01:03:11now remember I start to dictate a letter as soon as I snap my finger you start the argument and when
01:03:19you say you cheap second-rate insurance peddler and I hit you now Baker don't let it stop miss agent
01:03:24miss a second coming mr. Jones sit down please
01:03:28take this to walter k doven mule capital city bank and trust company columbus ohio my dear mr.
01:03:39doven mule now let me see
01:03:42so you won't tell me i i wasn't there my mother saw you your mother gives me a pain in the neck
01:03:54how dare you say that about my your beloved mother your beloved mother poo
01:03:59so you won't tell me huh i wasn't there but my mother saw you your mother gives me a pain in the
01:04:07neck how dare you say that about my beloved mother your beloved mother poo who are you to poo my
01:04:14mother your mother do you know what your mother reminds me of hey stop stop just a minute miss
01:04:19aiken i didn't tell you to leave yes for heaven's sakes miss aiken sit down now read that back to me
01:04:28mr. water k w new capital city bank and trust company columbus ohio my dear mr. doven mule
01:04:34so you don't like my mother no i don't like your whole family oh you don't no i don't like your
01:04:38father i don't like your brother and you know what your mother reminds me of what of you that'll give
01:04:42you a rough idea of what i think of your mother you cheap second-rate insurance peddler
01:04:45what you call your cheap second-rate insurance peddler yes
01:05:09now look man our whole happiness is at stake one good sock here another cognac
01:05:16now give it everything
01:05:19read it back to me walter k doven mill capital city bank and trust company columbus ohio my
01:05:25dear mr doven yeah my dear mr yes everything i said about your mother still goes and double oh it does
01:05:31yes it does well i still say you're a cheap second-rate insurance peddler oh so i'm a cheap second-rate
01:05:39insurance peddler am i yes you are
01:05:41say it again say it again you cheap second-rate insurance peddler
01:05:51all right then
01:05:58come on baker pull yourself together you can do it swell guy like you
01:06:01read it back to me walter k doven mule capital city bank and trust company columbus ohio my dear
01:06:09my dear mr doven mule
01:06:16did you see that miss eggins a husband slapping his wife yes did you see him mrs
01:06:20baker i'm very sorry this happened in my office so am i imagine that a husband hitting his wife
01:06:27he had to get drunk to do it goodbye mr jones goodbye mr
01:06:32mrs gregor what about walter k doven mule tell him i'm out
01:06:45thank you sir hello albert good morning sir i hope you'll forgive me for disturbing you on sunday
01:07:09it's all right have a late night sir yes i've had a series of late nights i guess i'm not as young
01:07:16as i used to be oh i think you look very fit sir oh thanks albert how's everything going oh not so
01:07:21well sir i came to ask if in your future plans you'd have any use for me have you left miss baker yes
01:07:28sir i had to on account of that musical gentleman oh in fact we all left except emma then she fought
01:07:37you at least quite dead how is miss becker as charming as ever happy i suppose you'll pardon me for
01:07:45saying so i think she shows great courage
01:08:07you
01:08:21hello hello where's mrs gregor
01:08:24jill dear oh i got such a thrill when you called me why shouldn't i old friends like us sit down
01:08:38how are you till oh i'm fine i hear you're going to philadelphia oh did you meet alexander yes but i
01:08:44didn't want to bother he's practicing for his new concert i understand does it disturb you no no no no i
01:08:49love music yes i'm going to philadelphia and you're happy oh yes very of course i'm still a little
01:08:56bewildered it's all so new i guess it's all very exciting yes very exciting being transferred from
01:09:02the business world into the world of art nothing but bach and tchaikovsky that's bach he's practicing
01:09:09you sure it doesn't disturb you oh no no i love it you don't have to be ashamed not everybody likes
01:09:14well so if you want him to stop my dear i wouldn't think of it the whole thing sounds so very romantic
01:09:19yes very romantic oh by the way have you seen larry yes yes i saw him last night at monte carlo
01:09:26larry is the monte carlo yes imagine just a moment
01:09:44uh please forgive me of course well now what are we talking about
01:09:53so you don't like my music and i make nothing but a lot of noise all right
01:09:58isn't he original oh berry i hope you don't mind no not at all i'd love to make him angry he turns
01:10:16into a big grizzly bear it must be fascinating jill
01:10:24the bear
01:10:32what is it jill there'll be no more music here today oh no no and don't coax me and don't shush me
01:10:38as a matter of fact there'll be no more sebastian here today at least not for lunch and dinner is very
01:10:45uncertain well that's the way you feel about it it is jill i can be very impossible goodbye
01:10:51what fun i only hope poor larry has as good a time as i well when i saw him at monte carlo oh yes
01:11:06i suppose that was another one of those dull business evenings was it a large party no i'd say
01:11:11she was about your size oh was she attractive no i didn't think so but george and freddie thought
01:11:19she was terrific you know george and freddie but what do you care that's right what do i care
01:11:27larry's entitled to have a little fun that's the kind of life he likes
01:11:41that's right hello hello sally darling i feel pretty good considering what about you
01:11:55that's right huh
01:11:59well no i'm sure you took it with you when we left for the monte carlo wait a minute
01:12:11good morning hello yes it is all right goodbye hello
01:12:29hello you going to throw me out jill you shouldn't come up here
01:12:36it's rather embarrassing well i was just passing by but after all
01:12:40sebastian finds out oh don't worry about that but i do a girl engaged to be married
01:12:46coming to a bachelor's apartment and unannounced just a moment
01:13:00well i seem to be intruding look jill what do you want to see me about someone here
01:13:06what do you want jill well i was driving by oh right on the 31st floor well you said you wanted
01:13:14some kind of remembrance and i'm on my way to cynthia knoxford's tea and i had to pass by so
01:13:20i picked up a few things some snapshots of us taken together thought you might be interested thank you
01:13:26them aren't you going to look at them oh yeah that's the first time we met there's one of you
01:13:34sitting in my lap our wedding our honeymoon that's very nice thanks anything else i heard you were at the
01:13:41monte carlo last night yeah sleepy yes well give my regards cynthia knox who you were on your way to
01:13:51cynthia knox's tea oh oh yes yes i like your apartment larry lovely charming yes very very charming
01:14:01in such good taste pretty so cozy lovely curtains and such a beautiful view yes such a beautiful
01:14:20i'm sorry that was rather foolish please forgive me
01:14:26larry i did make quite a mess of things oh everything turns out the best
01:14:31you can't mean that larry i can and i do
01:14:34larry please don't make me go to philadelphia please don't oh madam has changed her mind
01:14:40she gets a little tired of marriage and she walks out just like that
01:14:44what does she care if she makes a fool of her husband or how much she hurts him
01:14:48then she gets a little tired of piano music and she comes back and says oh it was just a little whim
01:14:52of mine so please trot back to the old homestead you break up a whole life and then think
01:14:57you can put it back together again in one afternoon oh no it's not that easy i didn't expect it to be
01:15:03easy to tell you what i think of you would take more than just one afternoon
01:15:07how about dinner dinner couldn't we just have dinner together tonight
01:15:15i'm sorry i'm engaged for dinner oh that girl yes that girl i don't like your tone i'm sorry
01:15:23first you're trying to mess up my life now you want to spoil that girl sunday
01:15:27sally doesn't get every day off you know sally works hard oh she does now what's wrong with that
01:15:33nothing she doesn't have everything dumped in her lap like you she hasn't time to go to crazy art
01:15:39galleries play around with second-rate musicians or go to psychoanalysts she hasn't a husband to pay
01:15:44for her complexes sally's a mighty fine girl much finer than your mr sebastian she doesn't wear your
01:15:50shirts either did he take oh skip it here you promised to love honor and obey and here
01:16:02that's the first time we met that's an awful picture of me but you were a fine girl
01:16:07i didn't bore you with my insurance then you listened to everything you wanted to know
01:16:10everything about me and my work you wanted to help oh larry and here
01:16:15remember everything you said to me i'd love to say it again larry if you'd only give me the chance
01:16:22just to forget it again no larry never again i swear there's no use pretending i'm defeated
01:16:37gee i'll always remember that tree in front of our hotel window and
01:16:42that funny old italian waiter well that wasn't here oh yeah no no it wasn't no no here oh that's
01:16:48right that's that front porch my first breakfast yes oh larry couldn't we have dinner together
01:16:57not tonight why not sally let me talk oh no woman to woman she'll understand no no please larry
01:17:07well you don't deserve it but i'll see what i can do thank you darling you stay right here
01:17:17it's going to be very tough
01:17:36it's going to be very tough
01:17:40Eakins, that girl.
01:18:10How did you do, Miss Eakins?
01:18:16Hello, Mrs. Baker.
01:18:18Nice to see you.
01:18:22Miss Eakins would have loved to have seen you,
01:18:24but unfortunately he's busy.
01:18:26Oh, he asked me to give you your handbag.
01:18:28Oh, yes, I forgot it.
01:18:30I was doing some secretarial work for Mr. Baker.
01:18:33Oh, secretaries work on Saturday night.
01:18:36Oh, well, I'm an notary public, too.
01:18:39Oh, I see. And you brought your seal?
01:18:41Oh, yes, a train seal.
01:18:43Goodbye, Miss Eakins.
01:18:45Goodbye, Mrs. Baker.
01:19:09Sweet. Sweet.
01:19:23Looks hopeless.
01:19:25Oh.
01:19:27It's much more serious than I thought.
01:19:31That girl's really in love with me.
01:19:33She adores me.
01:19:34I don't blame her.
01:19:35She says she can't live without me.
01:19:37And I believe her.
01:19:38And I, too.
01:19:39It's understandable.
01:19:40You're very wonderful.
01:19:42Oh.
01:19:43Oh, yes, yes, you are.
01:19:45How about dinner?
01:19:47But you know I can't.
01:19:48How about after dinner?
01:19:50Do you want a suicide in your conscience?
01:19:51Oh, no.
01:19:52No, no, not that much.
01:19:53Well, there you are.
01:19:54You're right.
01:19:55It's hopeless.
01:19:56It's too bad, Joe.
01:19:58Everything could have been so marvelous.
01:20:00Yeah.
01:20:01There's no reason we couldn't really have been happy.
01:20:03Yes, but it's too late now.
01:20:05It looks like the end.
01:20:07Goodbye, Larry.
01:20:08And good luck.
01:20:09Good luck.
01:20:12Good luck.
01:20:25I'll talk to her again.
01:20:39Mrs. Bakerholm?
01:20:40Yes?
01:20:41Never mind.
01:20:42Guess who is back?
01:20:45It's Bolton, the god of gods, coming back to earth.
01:21:09A little bit softer, please.
01:21:36You're right.
01:21:37You're right.
01:21:38Oh, I'm sorry.
01:21:39I am sorry.
01:21:40I'm sorry, I have to leave, I have to leave.
01:21:41You're right.
01:21:42You're right.
01:21:45I can't be sorry, I'm sorry.
01:21:46Don't you?
01:21:47You're right.
01:21:49I can't be sorry, I'll stop there.
01:21:50I can't be at the end.
01:21:52Here's the end.
01:21:53Thank you, a little bit.
01:21:55I can't be here.
01:21:56No.
01:21:57Why are you still.
01:21:59No.
01:21:59Huh?
01:22:00No.
01:22:01Uh-uh.
01:22:02Uh-huh.
01:22:03Uh-uh.
01:22:05Let's go.
01:22:35The End
01:23:05The End
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