00:00An ex-boyfriend who'd upset me the week before, bought me three rats to appease
00:08me and I did like them. And from there it just blossomed and now we have this
00:13number which as you can see is fairly extensive. How many is it? It's about 150.
00:20And what happened to your boyfriend? Oh he left, a lovely little man.
00:28If I were to invite anyone round I would say do you mind rats because I've got
00:35some. And the taxman came and I said do you mind rats and he seemed a little
00:44surprised but perfectly rat friendly. But he went away having stroked a rat.
00:52You can show them, you can breed them, you can play with them, you can eat with them, you
01:00can bath with them, you can sleep with them. They're just one of the best pets for anybody.
01:06There's this story a myth about rats actually going for people's throats, which isn't true
01:17at all. As you can see, one of the advantages of rats' tails is that they taste lovely. Yum.
01:26It's very easy to tell the difference between male and female rats. She's got nipples, he
01:29doesn't and also spot the obvious difference. Male rats have got absolutely huge falls.
01:36They've got lovely tummies though.
01:38Lovely tummies.
01:40When sugar and spice die, it'll be about the worst thing that's happened. They're going
01:51to be cremated. I've worked out the price of cremations and they'll both come back to me
01:56together in a little box and then they can always come around with me everywhere. Then
01:59when I go, I want them popped in with me and then we can all be together. But if there's
02:03no rats in heaven, I'm not going. It'll be like the Pied Piper when I arrive up there.
02:07There'll be swarms of them come flocking around my feet, I expect.
02:10Is Billy no bullets hiding?
02:13He really fancies Susie Sewer rat and she's not having any of it.
02:17Deasy here in his younger days was going out with family vermin.
02:20They were in love. They were so soppy. Boy rats are generally a bit fat and lazy.
02:24The first time I had boys, I thought there was actually something wrong. I was like, oh my
02:27God, my boys are perverted. They just sort of sit there in the cage sucking their own
02:30penises. Flexibility is a great asset.
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