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  • 7 weeks ago
Good Girls Gone Wild - Full Episodes
Transcript
00:00:00Not bad.
00:00:30Hello? Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:34I mean, it's only two days away and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:38So, I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:42Me too. Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:46Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:49Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him. You know, I wanna surprise him.
00:00:54What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:00Besides, you can't do that to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:04This is bad. You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi. She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:16Come on, Lexi.
00:01:30So girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:34Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something in.
00:01:38But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:40I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:44But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:47So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:49Mushrooms?
00:01:51No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:01:54Like maybe a trip.
00:01:56Like a mushroom trip?
00:01:58No.
00:02:01Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:03So do I.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:08Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:21Yeah, sure.
00:02:23Here you go.
00:02:25No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:28I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:30I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:36Oh, Jake.
00:02:41Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:44Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:46When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:48The best night of my life.
00:02:50It will be. I promise.
00:02:52It'll always be amazing. With you and me. Together.
00:03:00Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:07You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:10but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:13Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:17This Saturday?
00:03:18Of course.
00:03:22Thanks.
00:03:25Okay. Bye.
00:03:30Oh, baby. You're so hot. I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:40Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:41Yeah.
00:03:42What was your name again?
00:03:43Right.
00:03:44Sex guy.
00:03:49Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:52Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:00Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:04Oh, no.
00:04:05Does not compute.
00:04:07Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:13Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:16When did you go home?
00:04:17So, is it true?
00:04:18Yes, it is.
00:04:20It's just...
00:04:21It's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:24I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:29and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:31So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:34Lexi, tell her.
00:04:35Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:37we should all face together.
00:04:39On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:41Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:04:43or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:04:47Maybe.
00:04:48Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but...
00:04:53I'm sorry.
00:04:57I know it's tradition, but...
00:04:59I'm sorry.
00:05:05But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:08We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:11Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:14It's not Jake.
00:05:16It's the male ideal.
00:05:18Like...
00:05:19a Greek god, or...
00:05:21Sue's dad.
00:05:22Right.
00:05:24Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:26I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:27I'm not really an artist.
00:05:28Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:30Point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:33on the same day.
00:05:34And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:36I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:38And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:39Look, I can go either way.
00:05:41I mean, I'm fine with just...
00:05:4369, 79, anal...
00:05:46I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:49Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:52But, if you want to do it this year, then...
00:05:56Maybe we all should.
00:05:58You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:04Where are you going if it's 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:07To church.
00:06:08To pray for you.
00:06:09Wanna be first in line.
00:06:11I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:14Yeah, me too.
00:06:23Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:26It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:28I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:30Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:36It's about sex.
00:06:37I mean, not me.
00:06:41I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:43I've never even seen a guy as...
00:06:47Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:50But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:54But there was nothing there.
00:06:58Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:00My best friends.
00:07:02They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:04Okay.
00:07:05Third base.
00:07:06What?
00:07:07No.
00:07:08Like, sex.
00:07:09Like, intercourse?
00:07:10With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:11I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:12If you know what I mean.
00:07:13All the way.
00:07:14Go all the way.
00:07:15What?
00:07:16What?
00:07:17How could you do s-?
00:07:20You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:24What?
00:07:25Yes.
00:07:26Yes.
00:07:27Run.
00:07:28Run.
00:07:29Homera-
00:07:30Ah.
00:07:31Damn it.
00:07:32Yeah.
00:07:34You're gonna do something really nice.
00:07:35I'm not sure.
00:07:36I don't know what you're doing.
00:07:38It's not a bad guy.
00:07:39You're a bad guy.
00:07:40What?
00:07:41No, no.
00:07:42No, no.
00:07:43Ah, damn it!
00:07:46Fucking Yankees.
00:07:49Sorry.
00:07:50Come on.
00:08:12Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:15Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:17I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:18Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:23I have an announcement to make.
00:08:24I want to do it.
00:08:26Do you hear me?
00:08:27I want to do it.
00:08:29This weekend, on our birthday.
00:08:32Do what?
00:08:34It. Screw.
00:08:36You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs,
00:08:39you know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:44You do.
00:08:45Uh, but what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:48And, um, what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:50Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:53Really?
00:08:54Well, okay, great.
00:08:57We're all in then.
00:08:59So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:02Right?
00:09:04Right.
00:09:06I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:16Hey, Frank.
00:09:17Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:19Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:22I don't know.
00:09:23Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:24Yeah.
00:09:24He's blind.
00:09:25Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:32We've been back.
00:09:34Hey, um, I was wondering.
00:09:36We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:39It's for our birthdays.
00:09:40Do you want to come?
00:09:41Do you think he can see up my shore?
00:09:43Well, the house looks done.
00:09:57Tomorrow's a big day.
00:09:58We finally turn 18.
00:10:00And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:03Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at two.
00:10:06So, okay.
00:10:07We know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:09Jake.
00:10:10And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:12But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:13It's a poppy chain.
00:10:15It's easy.
00:10:16I've known for the past six years.
00:10:17Ever since catechism.
00:10:21What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:22I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:25Sure.
00:10:33My soulmate.
00:10:37Chris?
00:10:38Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:43I mean...
00:10:43What?
00:10:44No.
00:10:44Chris is perfect.
00:10:45He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:48Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:50It's a sign.
00:10:51Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:10:56What?
00:10:57He does not.
00:10:58Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:00He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:02With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:06Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:09Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:12Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:14See you in the morning.
00:11:20I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:23I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:50I knew it would happen.
00:11:55You're so perfect.
00:12:20I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:47Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:50Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:05Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:07Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:17Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:19Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:21Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:23Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:25Oh my gosh.
00:13:26They're coming.
00:13:27Lexi!
00:13:28Cheryl!
00:13:29Hurry!
00:13:30Ew, why?
00:13:35It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:37It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:38I'm going to suppress him.
00:13:39You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:41It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43It's stupid.
00:13:44Just screw him.
00:13:45That's what he wants.
00:13:46That's what all guys want.
00:13:47Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:49Oh, Christ.
00:13:50And I wrap your mouth, too.
00:13:51Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:13:57You're an idiot.
00:13:58A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:02Guys, seriously.
00:14:03Come on.
00:14:04Hurry up.
00:14:05Oh!
00:14:06Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:11I love it!
00:14:13Um...
00:14:14You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:16It's really...
00:14:17Very fragile.
00:14:18Yeah.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20Set it down.
00:14:21Hurry up!
00:14:22Bye!
00:14:23Those are your anal beats, right?
00:14:25Yeah.
00:14:26That's how...
00:14:35...
00:14:46Oh, jeez!
00:14:47Whoa!
00:14:48Hold up!
00:14:49Oh, we're gonna have some fun!
00:14:50Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts!
00:14:52Nice!
00:14:53Nice!
00:14:54Nice!
00:14:55Oh!
00:14:56Oh!
00:14:57Oh!
00:14:58Oh, shit!
00:14:59Oh, shit!
00:15:00Oh, shit!
00:15:01Oh, shit!
00:15:02Oh, shit!
00:15:03Oh, shit!
00:15:04Oh, shit!
00:15:05Oh!
00:15:05Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:08That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:10but be careful it stings.
00:15:12And the other one is edible miscellularity.
00:15:15Oh, how did you know?
00:15:17I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:24Blasters, such a cutie.
00:15:27Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:29Okay, sorry.
00:15:30Are you okay now?
00:15:31Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:32Okay, see you later.
00:15:35I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:37This is seriously-
00:15:39Jake!
00:15:40Hi!
00:15:41Hey, babe.
00:15:42Happy birthday.
00:15:44Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:47What?
00:15:48You want a beer?
00:15:52No.
00:15:56Oh, hon.
00:15:57I have your present here.
00:16:02I'll give it to you later.
00:16:04The time's right.
00:16:05Aw.
00:16:06You didn't have to get me anything.
00:16:08And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:13Hey, Ralph.
00:16:15We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:18A little bet.
00:16:22Alright, this is my man right here.
00:16:24Hey.
00:16:25Hey.
00:16:26How you doing?
00:16:27Good.
00:16:28Check it out!
00:16:29Dare me?
00:16:30Woohoo!
00:16:31That's cute!
00:16:32Look at the doggies!
00:16:33Look at those!
00:16:34Are those real?
00:16:35Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:16:36Hey!
00:16:37I do!
00:16:38Move!
00:16:39Come on!
00:16:40Lame!
00:16:41Oh, alright.
00:16:42Okay.
00:16:43I'll see you guys later.
00:16:44Go do some push-ups or something.
00:16:45Aw, the boobs.
00:16:4620 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.
00:16:49Yeah!
00:16:50They're fake anyways.
00:16:51Who cares?
00:16:52Okay!
00:16:53Okay!
00:16:54I got the doggies.
00:16:55Oh, the Reggie!
00:16:56Oh, the Reggie!
00:16:57Look at those.
00:16:58Are those real?
00:16:59I don't-
00:17:00Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:01Hey!
00:17:02Ah!
00:17:03Dude!
00:17:04Move!
00:17:05Come on!
00:17:06Lame!
00:17:07Oh, alright.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the boobs.
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.
00:17:13They're fake anyways.
00:17:14Who cares?
00:17:15Okay.
00:17:16Bye!
00:17:17Bye!
00:17:18I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:26Sue, no, it's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:17:29Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:32What?
00:17:33I win.
00:17:36Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:39I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:43Have you guys seen Jake? I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:45He just, like, disappeared.
00:17:48Are these real?
00:17:59Of course they are.
00:18:01How come I didn't have you?
00:18:04I don't know, maybe you just don't be around.
00:18:06Have you seen Jake?
00:18:08Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:11Maybe upstairs, I don't know.
00:18:13Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:15That's probably where he went.
00:18:16Uh-huh.
00:18:18Uh-huh.
00:18:21Liquid courage?
00:18:22Yeah.
00:18:23Atta girl.
00:18:27Vodka cranberry?
00:18:29Shirley Temple.
00:18:31Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:33I can go meet her dad.
00:18:35Sue?
00:18:36Are you okay?
00:18:37Sue?
00:18:38Relax.
00:18:40Oh, they're just nice.
00:18:41Okay, nothing to be scared of, seriously.
00:18:44It's going to be fine.
00:18:45Is Chris here?
00:18:51Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:54No, he does not have gay face.
00:18:56I'm going to prove it to you.
00:18:58I'm going to do it.
00:19:04Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:06No, he does not have gay face.
00:19:10I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:11I'm going to do it.
00:19:12I'm going to do this.
00:19:14Good luck.
00:19:16Oh, God.
00:19:17Hey, you can do this.
00:19:19Just act like a slut.
00:19:23Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:26Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:36Chris, hi.
00:19:38Can I talk to you?
00:19:40Uh-huh.
00:19:41Um, in private?
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:47Hello.
00:19:50Hello.
00:19:56Hey, Lexi.
00:19:57Hey, Lexi.
00:19:58What?
00:19:59Chris.
00:20:01You're so sexy.
00:20:04Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:07I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:10And I really want to...
00:20:13Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:15Is that wrong?
00:20:16Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:18Nothing.
00:20:18I'm sorry.
00:20:19I don't know how to do this.
00:20:21Sue.
00:20:23Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:24I understand these urges.
00:20:30And, you know, I like you, too.
00:20:34Really?
00:20:35You do?
00:20:36I do.
00:20:36I really do.
00:20:39I like you, too.
00:20:40Really?
00:20:41You do?
00:20:42I do.
00:20:43I really do.
00:20:44It's just...
00:20:45I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:51Right.
00:20:52Lexi said you were...
00:20:53Jesus.
00:20:54Oh, that man.
00:20:56Of course.
00:20:58What did you think?
00:20:59Oh, nothing.
00:21:01So we can still do this then?
00:21:03Oh, Sue.
00:21:05You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so...
00:21:19Muscular, with their strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, beneath that hot, hot sun.
00:21:39And I just feel such compassion.
00:21:42I think about those things, too.
00:21:45So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:49Not really.
00:21:50I just find it too hard, it is, to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:00So...
00:22:01You're going to go out there, right?
00:22:12Andy, we're going to tell him to be fun.
00:22:14Hey, hi.
00:22:15Whoa!
00:22:17Have you seen Jake?
00:22:18Uh, no.
00:22:20No.
00:22:20All right.
00:22:24Okay.
00:22:25All right, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:32Oh, there he is.
00:22:36Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:46Huh!
00:22:48How could he?
00:22:55Sue, what happened?
00:22:57Did you guys do it?
00:22:59Sue?
00:23:00He doesn't want me.
00:23:02Because he's gay.
00:23:03No, he's not.
00:23:05He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:07Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:08The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:13Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want
00:23:17is to know what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:23Yes?
00:23:23Come with me.
00:23:25Where?
00:23:26To meet your dark side.
00:23:27Lead.
00:23:28Lead.
00:23:30Lead.
00:23:34Out.
00:23:35Everyone out.
00:23:39Okay.
00:23:40Over.
00:23:45Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:49I really can't.
00:24:02I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:04I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:11I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:13Dreams to end the night is...
00:24:16Sue?
00:24:16Can you see it?
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:21I'm almost...
00:24:23I'm almost there.
00:24:28Ah!
00:24:30What?
00:24:32What?
00:24:32Sue, what happened?
00:24:33What did you see?
00:24:35A raccoon?
00:24:36What?
00:24:38You overshot it.
00:24:39Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:40I can't.
00:24:48Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:50Okay, fine.
00:24:51Fine.
00:24:52I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:55What?
00:24:56You really need an orgasm.
00:24:59Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:02when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:04This really has to be your first step.
00:25:06Les, I'm waiting.
00:25:08Coming.
00:25:08Sue, uh, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:11Just find it and use it.
00:25:14Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:16It's black.
00:25:17It vibrates.
00:25:20Come on, Rod.
00:25:21Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:24Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:26Hey, cutie!
00:25:39Cutie!
00:25:44Booseye!
00:25:45Oh, yeah!
00:25:47Oh, yeah!
00:25:47Oh, yeah!
00:25:47Oh, yeah!
00:25:48Oh, yeah!
00:25:48Oh, yeah!
00:25:49Oh, yeah!
00:25:49Oh, yeah!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:50Beg.
00:25:51Beg.
00:25:51Bang!
00:25:52Bang!
00:25:52Bang!
00:25:53Oh, my God!
00:25:54Good boy.
00:25:55Straighten up!
00:25:56Good boy.
00:25:57Good boy.
00:25:58Good boy.
00:25:59He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:01I'm sure he can't see anything.
00:26:04That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:06What a bitch.
00:26:07Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:24Player one.
00:26:29Stop her down.
00:26:30Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:31Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:32Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:33Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:34Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:35Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:37Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:38Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:38Oh, shit.
00:26:39Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:40Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:41Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:42Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:42Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:43Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:44What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:45Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:45Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:46Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:47Nice shot!
00:26:48Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:49Direct hit!
00:26:50Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:51Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:51Here.
00:26:52Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:53Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:53Bum-ba-dum.
00:26:55Gotta lie, you ain't got a shit sin,
00:26:57and that he's talking,
00:26:58I'm lookin' like a ten, I feel like I've rollin' my own face
00:27:02Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:04Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:07He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:10For sure?
00:27:12I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:27:16That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:19No, it's awful.
00:27:21I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:28It's a text. It's from him. Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:31Okay.
00:27:32Uh, he's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:36Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:37Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:39No, you can't just leave.
00:27:41Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:44I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:46No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:50Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:53I'm leaving.
00:27:55Revenge sex.
00:27:57Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:27:59It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:06Revenge sex.
00:28:07Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:09It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:14But he- I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would-
00:28:18He's just into other girls.
00:28:20Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:22Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:29Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:33No, I- I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:40Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:42Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:44I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:48Really?
00:28:49And what type is that?
00:28:50Slutty.
00:28:52Yeah.
00:28:53Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this very tongue ring.
00:28:57Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:01Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:29:04Someone that I haven't... fooled around with him.
00:29:10Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, I think you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:29:15Mmm, no. I just couldn't do it.
00:29:17Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:22to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:25and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:30But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:35I don't know.
00:29:38But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:42I don't know.
00:29:43Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:51I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:55Bye, Cheryl. Happy birthday.
00:29:57Oh, no!
00:29:58Hey.
00:30:11Happy birthday.
00:30:13Thanks.
00:30:28Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:40So...
00:30:43Happy birthday.
00:30:45Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:51But it's actually from us. U.S.
00:30:53America?
00:30:56United States?
00:30:57I know where we live.
00:30:58Right.
00:31:00Of course.
00:31:04I know where we live.
00:31:05Right.
00:31:06Of course.
00:31:11Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:14Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:15Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:16I just...
00:31:17No, you're fine.
00:31:18You're fine.
00:31:30Jake!
00:31:33So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:36Oh.
00:31:37I'm sorry.
00:31:38It?
00:31:39It.
00:31:40Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:31:45Get real nasty.
00:31:47Oh.
00:31:48Oh.
00:31:49You mean, like, uh...
00:31:51Right now?
00:31:52I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:54You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:57Yeah, sure.
00:31:58I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:00I just never realized that you...
00:32:02I mean...
00:32:04Whew.
00:32:07It's just...
00:32:10You're so...
00:32:12You're so beautiful.
00:32:13Okay, um...
00:32:14Hmm?
00:32:15Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:18Right, um...
00:32:19Of course.
00:32:20Sorry?
00:32:23So, um...
00:32:26Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:28Oh, wow.
00:32:29Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:32:31Or leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:34Not that you're leftover.
00:32:35You're not.
00:32:36You're fresh.
00:32:39Organic.
00:32:40Yup.
00:32:41So, the wrap.
00:32:42Right.
00:32:43Um...
00:32:44Where's the, uh...
00:32:45It's, uh, the end is...
00:32:46I just, like, right over here.
00:32:47Oh, yeah, here it is.
00:32:48Yeah.
00:32:49I see it.
00:32:50Um, let me just, uh...
00:32:51Uh...
00:32:52Ow!
00:32:53Ow!
00:32:54Ow!
00:32:55Ow!
00:32:56Ow!
00:32:57Sorry!
00:32:58Sorry!
00:32:59Sorry!
00:33:00Sorry!
00:33:01I, um...
00:33:02It's...
00:33:03It's okay.
00:33:04Do it again.
00:33:06Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:07I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult to...
00:33:11You know what?
00:33:12Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:15Okay.
00:33:20Uh...
00:33:21Let me just see...
00:33:24Oh!
00:33:25Here it is!
00:33:26I got it!
00:33:27Uh...
00:33:28Let me just...
00:33:29Ah!
00:33:30Oh!
00:33:31Oh, jeez!
00:33:32Uh, Cheryl?
00:33:33Are you...
00:33:34You okay?
00:33:35Uh...
00:33:38Hey, Cheryl.
00:33:39Are you okay?
00:33:40Oh!
00:33:41Oh!
00:33:42Geez!
00:33:49Well, that was stupid.
00:33:52Yeah.
00:33:58How are you doing tonight?
00:33:59Good.
00:34:00You having a good time?
00:34:01Yeah?
00:34:02Good?
00:34:03Jake!
00:34:04I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:05What?
00:34:06I can't hear you!
00:34:08You need another beer.
00:34:10Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:11Jake!
00:34:12So are you weird?
00:34:13Up...stairs!
00:34:14Yeah.
00:34:15Hold on.
00:34:16I'll take a piss.
00:34:17I'm a bunch of beer.
00:34:20Bad girl, you got a...
00:34:21Bad brain
00:34:22I'm wanting bad pills
00:34:24I've been very itchy
00:34:26Bad by your belt
00:34:27But what the hell do?
00:34:28You can try out the wall
00:34:30She won't make me trick me
00:34:31I know!
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:33Oh!
00:34:34Ohhh!
00:34:36Ohhh!
00:34:38Ohhhh!
00:34:39Ahhh!
00:34:40You gotta...
00:34:46Finally!
00:34:47I, uh...
00:34:49Did we just get the blinds?
00:34:51Oh!
00:34:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:34:52Um...
00:34:53Don't...
00:34:54Don't worry about it.
00:34:55I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:00Oh.
00:35:02Well, okay.
00:35:03Okay.
00:35:17Finally.
00:35:18I, uh...
00:35:20Let me just get the blinds.
00:35:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:23Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:25What?
00:35:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:30Oh.
00:35:32Well, okay.
00:35:33Okay.
00:35:53What are you doing?
00:35:54Uh...
00:35:55Uh...
00:35:56I think it's time.
00:35:57You know...
00:35:58To...
00:35:59To...
00:36:00To...
00:36:01To...
00:36:02To...
00:36:03To...
00:36:04To...
00:36:05To...
00:36:18To...
00:36:19What are you doing?
00:36:20Uh...
00:36:21I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:28Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:36:30Huh? Oh.
00:36:37So good.
00:36:40Oh.
00:36:42Yep.
00:36:43Oh, my God.
00:36:45Draw, draw, draw.
00:36:46What? What?
00:36:48Ah, ah, ah.
00:36:49Ah, dear.
00:36:50Ah, lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:36:52Is that even a thing?
00:36:54I don't know.
00:36:57Ah.
00:36:58Are you okay?
00:37:02No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:03It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:04I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:37:07It's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:13You sure you're okay?
00:37:15Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:16Okay, great. Have fun.
00:37:18Oh.
00:37:20Now.
00:37:24Now, let's do it now.
00:37:25No, not yet. Not yet.
00:37:29All right, I'm gonna come.
00:37:30No, no, not yet.
00:37:31Are you ready?
00:37:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:34No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:35Lexi! Lexi!
00:37:37Oh, shh!
00:37:38Oh, no.
00:37:41No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:42Lexi! Lexi!
00:37:44Oh, shh!
00:37:45Oh!
00:37:45No means no!
00:37:47Huh? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's been a really long time and I just I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:38:00Oh, hey Jake.
00:38:03How you doing?
00:38:05How's it going?
00:38:06Good.
00:38:07Eric? Help!
00:38:09Eric, help me! I'm glad I can't see anything!
00:38:12Excuse me!
00:38:16Cheryl's in here!
00:38:22Sup, bro?
00:38:23What the fuck is-
00:38:26Hey, wait!
00:38:28Lex, ma'am. Still waiting.
00:38:37Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:41Damn it. I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:38:45Hey, you!
00:38:47You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:51Help!
00:38:53I'm so sorry! I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:38:56Woo!
00:38:57Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
00:39:27Yeah!
00:39:31This just isn't working on.
00:39:35Nothing. It's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway.
00:39:41I can care if they have a lot of sticks.
00:39:43Spark it up!
00:39:45Yes!
00:39:48Oh, man! I love this game!
00:39:51Where's the controllers? We gotta play. Here, here, here.
00:39:53Okay, let me play another one.
00:39:57Whoa!
00:39:59Look at this!
00:40:01Fuel! Fuel! Fuel! Fuel!
00:40:03Oh, man! Get that thing away!
00:40:05Jesus!
00:40:11Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:15What, me?
00:40:21Whoa! Whoa! Nice!
00:40:23Are you sitting there or something?
00:40:25Whoa!
00:40:27Hey, you found the grenade launcher! Nice! Nice!
00:40:41Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:43Whoa!
00:40:53Whoa!
00:40:55You are the controller!
00:40:57No, I just...
00:40:59I didn't, I swear, I...
00:41:01All right!
00:41:11When she came over, right, and I was like...
00:41:12Hey! Hey, Sue!
00:41:13You know?
00:41:14Come on, man.
00:41:17It's okay, um...
00:41:18Hey, Sue!
00:41:19Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:20Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:21Um...
00:41:22Oh!
00:41:23Sure!
00:41:24Listen, Sue...
00:41:25I...
00:41:26I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:27You were?
00:41:28You mean...
00:41:29Y-yeah.
00:41:30Y-yeah.
00:41:31So, you think we should give it a try?
00:41:33Can we go get a drink?
00:41:35Wow!
00:41:36Um...
00:41:37Your toilet's really...
00:41:38It's...
00:41:39It's...
00:41:40It's...
00:41:41It's...
00:41:42It's...
00:41:43It's...
00:41:44It's...
00:41:45It's...
00:41:46It's...
00:41:47It's...
00:41:48It's...
00:41:49It's...
00:41:50It's...
00:41:51It's...
00:41:52It's...
00:41:53It's...
00:41:54It's...
00:41:55You think we should really try?
00:41:56Could we go get a drink?
00:41:57Huh?
00:41:58Wow!
00:41:59Um...
00:42:00Your...
00:42:01Toilet's really...
00:42:02Fullpurpose tests.
00:42:03You s...
00:42:04You know what?
00:42:05I-I gotta go.
00:42:06Uh...
00:42:07Happy Birthday.
00:42:08No, Chris!
00:42:09No, there wasn't...
00:42:10I didn't-
00:42:11Oh, god, nevermind.
00:42:12I need a love.
00:42:13It's the end of the world.
00:42:14ē‰©...
00:42:17Yes.
00:42:20This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:23Never going to have sex.
00:42:25Ow.
00:42:44Hello?
00:42:46A little attention here.
00:42:48Oh yeah, sorry.
00:42:49I don't want to see your face no more.
00:42:52Hey, little girl.
00:42:54Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:57All right.
00:42:58Sorry.
00:43:09Ugh, geez.
00:43:12Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:15Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:18Screw it.
00:43:19I don't want to see your face no more.
00:43:29I don't want to see your face no more.
00:43:43Hey, little girl, get out of my clothes.
00:43:45Oh, that was bad.
00:44:00That was so bad.
00:44:03Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:20I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:25Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:29Yes, it does.
00:44:31So you're JJ?
00:44:33Uh-oh.
00:44:55Hello, welcome to 1900 Confess.
00:44:58Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:01A nun.
00:45:01Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:08Please hold.
00:45:141900 Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:19I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:21One day?
00:45:22Is that too long?
00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:33Go on.
00:45:34Um, okay.
00:45:36Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:39Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:41What's her problem?
00:45:43A washing machine touched her.
00:45:44Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:49All right, freak.
00:45:51Time's up.
00:45:51What?
00:45:52But what do I do?
00:45:53Just unplug the thing.
00:45:54No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:58Well, then be happy.
00:46:00You found the perfect man.
00:46:02I'm serious.
00:46:02Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:06I'll tell you this.
00:46:09Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:11No contritions?
00:46:13You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:15It's not in the Bible.
00:46:17So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:20Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:29Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:30Huh.
00:46:32God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:34He sure is.
00:46:35Now run along.
00:46:39Wow.
00:46:40How do you know all that?
00:46:43Because I'm a nun.
00:46:44Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:47Huh.
00:46:47Accidental masturbation.
00:46:49Who'd it think?
00:46:50Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, admit it.
00:47:07I've got no game.
00:47:09I guess I just get to eat.
00:47:10I guess I don't feel good.
00:47:12Yeah?
00:47:13Yeah?
00:47:13Yeah?
00:47:13Yeah?
00:47:13Yeah?
00:47:14Yeah?
00:47:14Yeah?
00:47:14Yeah?
00:47:14Yeah?
00:47:14Yeah?
00:47:15Yeah?
00:47:15Yeah?
00:47:15Yeah?
00:47:15Yeah?
00:47:16Yeah?
00:47:16Yeah?
00:47:17Yeah?
00:47:17Yeah?
00:47:17Yeah?
00:47:18Yeah?
00:47:18Yeah?
00:47:19No, I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed someplace private.
00:47:30But hey, listen.
00:47:31If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:33Yeah?
00:47:34If you want someone great.
00:47:35I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:41Frank, the blind guy.
00:47:43Really?
00:47:44I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:47I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:53It was like, he saw our senses.
00:47:56Everything.
00:47:59If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:02All right.
00:48:09What about him?
00:48:11Jeremy.
00:48:12Oh, yeah.
00:48:12I know Jeremy.
00:48:13Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:16I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:17It's Jones.
00:48:20Jeremy Jones.
00:48:21Oh, this all makes sense.
00:48:23Excuse me.
00:48:24Jeremy.
00:48:25Jeremy.
00:48:27Hi.
00:48:27Hey.
00:48:28Who was on the phone?
00:48:30Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:32You'll meet her.
00:48:33I'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:34Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:35I don't know.
00:48:47Oh.
00:48:49Hi.
00:48:49Hey, Frank.
00:48:51Sit.
00:48:55Oh, you meant...
00:48:56You meant the dog.
00:48:59Relax.
00:49:00You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:04Oh, I'm relaxed and fine.
00:49:16Then why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:22How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:32Roll over.
00:49:32Oh, you mean me.
00:49:39Roll over.
00:49:42Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Oh, how do you...
00:49:46How do you want me to...
00:49:47Just lay down.
00:49:48Oh, I...
00:49:49I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:50:02but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:05Okay.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:13All right.
00:50:18Uh...
00:50:18You know, I should really...
00:50:26I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:28Really.
00:50:32Oh.
00:50:33Mm, peanut butter.
00:50:42Mm, peanut butter.
00:50:42Frank, Frank, oh, oh, Frank.
00:51:12Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
00:51:26You know what, man?
00:51:27Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:28My chips, homeboy.
00:51:29Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:30My chips.
00:51:31Dude, my chip.
00:51:32Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:33I have chocolate.
00:51:34My chips.
00:51:35Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:39Sorry.
00:51:41It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:51That's all.
00:51:52I don't want you to do this.
00:51:57Go ahead.
00:51:58I got it.
00:51:59No, I got it.
00:52:00No, really, please.
00:52:01I want to help.
00:52:02Please.
00:52:03Okay, everybody out.
00:52:05Leave.
00:52:06I have the vacuum.
00:52:08You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:21They're over here.
00:52:23I see some dust over here, so it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:33It's 34.
00:52:34It's such a dirty, dirty, dirty floor, and I just...
00:52:43Yeah, well, nothing gets in light.
00:52:45I'm gonna be the one who lift up tight.
00:52:47I don't want to see you rabe in the bathroom.
00:52:50What?
00:52:51Oh.
00:52:52Oh.
00:52:53Stop.
00:52:54Stop.
00:52:56Stop.
00:52:56Stop.
00:52:57Okay.
00:52:58Oh.
00:52:59Alright.
00:53:00I think I got all of that.
00:53:02I'm just gonna...
00:53:03I'll see you.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:05You
00:53:14Frankie oh my oh, what
00:53:25Stop Frank stop teasing Frank
00:53:30Sorry, man, we're just looking for a place to finish this road. Oh, I heard something you want to join us
00:53:35No
00:53:47Frank Frank are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:53Bro you are too funny
00:53:57Thanks, man. Oh, this is some good stuff. I haven't smoked since junior high dude. I am stop focus is to
00:54:05Feel like I was supposed to be doing something
00:54:09Damn, I really can't remember this is some good shit
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00:59:42Hey, um...
00:59:50Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:52No, no, no, I really need to talk to you.
00:59:54Really, Eric, I can't right now, sorry.
00:59:56No, no, no, no, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,
01:00:00and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:03Eric, really?
01:00:04I don't care, it's fine.
01:00:06No, but I do.
01:00:07I mean, I do.
01:00:08I care.
01:00:09I don't care, I haven't known how to tell you,
01:00:13maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy,
01:00:15but I was wondering, or hoping,
01:00:18that we could go out sometime, soon,
01:00:23because I'm going to be leaving for a little while,
01:00:24and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:26Really, Eric, you're shy, you have no game.
01:00:31No, not really.
01:00:34Yeah, no, I can't do this, sorry.
01:00:39Okay, all right.
01:00:41I, uh...
01:00:42Happy birthday, then.
01:00:56I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:58Wow.
01:01:18Here I come, baby.
01:01:20You're ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:25Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:26Um, we can't do this.
01:01:28Oh, don't do this.
01:01:29Dammit, not again.
01:01:29Oh, no, um...
01:01:30Cheryl, honey, happy...
01:01:31What the fuck is this?
01:01:35Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:36Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:41Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:45Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:47Here?
01:01:48I've been looking for you all night,
01:01:50and you've been...
01:01:51Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:53You couldn't find me?
01:01:54Oh, gee, what about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:01:58or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:00Cheryl, honey.
01:02:01No, no.
01:02:02We can work this out.
01:02:03Baby, I love you.
01:02:05Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:06Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:08I promise.
01:02:09No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:02:10I'm sorry.
01:02:12Cheryl, come on.
01:02:13No, Jake, please, just go.
01:02:14Just go, I'm sorry.
01:02:16You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:18How can you do?
01:02:18You did it.
01:02:21I'm so proud of you.
01:02:22You got your revenge sex.
01:02:24You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:26Revenge sex?
01:02:29It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:31Right.
01:02:34It all makes sense now.
01:02:36Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:39Eric, I'm really sorry.
01:02:42Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:45And he used me.
01:02:47Eric, please don't go.
01:02:48Please, Eric!
01:02:51Aren't you happy?
01:02:54Well, no, that's not exactly
01:02:55what I was supposed to feel like.
01:02:57You mean the sex?
01:02:58Was it?
01:02:59Yeah?
01:03:00No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:02Oh.
01:03:02You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:04Really?
01:03:05I just never found the right guy.
01:03:06Or guys.
01:03:09Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:10People are starting to leave.
01:03:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:14I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:26This is bullshit.
01:03:29Oh!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Suck it!
01:03:32What the?
01:03:33God, I'm out of here!
01:03:35Yeah!
01:03:36He has good hair, though.
01:03:41Don't you chew on me.
01:03:42And don't puke in my car, either.
01:03:46Might says, Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:53Take this information through your head.
01:03:58Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:04:01Was it from sex?
01:04:02Did you pop your cork?
01:04:03I don't think so.
01:04:05Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:06Oh, don't ask.
01:04:08Every possible object.
01:04:10It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:12It was like...
01:04:13Transformers.
01:04:14They just all became vibrators.
01:04:16I told you.
01:04:18It's addicting.
01:04:20So what about Chris?
01:04:22Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through dear life.
01:04:24I told you he was gay.
01:04:26Oh.
01:04:26Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:28Oh.
01:04:29Cramp.
01:04:29I think it's broken.
01:04:33So wait.
01:04:35None of us cashed in our V-card.
01:04:41Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:44So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:46Wanna go?
01:04:47No.
01:04:48I think I should finish up here.
01:04:51Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:53No.
01:04:53I don't know.
01:04:56For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:59Or something.
01:05:01Why?
01:05:01Do you know him?
01:05:03Sort of.
01:05:04Oh.
01:05:05Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:12What is that?
01:05:15Love him.
01:05:16Shut it.
01:05:16You wanna do it, man?
01:05:17I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:17I wanna get married.
01:05:18You wanna do it.
01:05:19All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:21All right.
01:05:23All right.
01:05:53You're taking me in my business.
01:06:04Oh, well.
01:06:06There's always next year.
01:06:11You're taking me in my business.
01:06:15Oh, well.
01:06:17Oh, well.
01:06:18Oh, well.
01:06:19Oh, well.
01:06:20Oh, well.
01:06:20Oh, well.
01:06:21Oh, well.
01:06:22Oh, well.
01:06:23For everyone.
01:06:27It's you.
01:06:29I've been waiting for you.
01:06:31JJ.
01:06:35Joanna!
01:06:36Mmm.
01:06:52And when the heat is on, you never take it away.
01:07:22Give me your old bottom bar, and when the heat is on, you never take it away.
01:07:35Wow.
01:07:36That's amazing.
01:07:38Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:42I guess something inspired me.
01:07:45He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:48Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:52Who's?
01:07:53Eric's.
01:07:54It's him, right?
01:07:59Oh.
01:08:00Yeah.
01:08:01I have to go see him.
01:08:05Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:11One nine hundred confess.
01:08:24Sister Therese?
01:08:26Yeah, hon, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:29I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:31Oh, sure.
01:08:32It's two seven one.
01:08:36Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:40Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:44Like, take you back?
01:08:46Sure, hon.
01:08:47Why not?
01:08:48As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:51Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:54I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:58Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:01Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:05No.
01:09:06I really gotta pee.
01:09:07No!
01:09:08Hush your trap!
01:09:10Okay, honey.
01:09:11I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:09:14I will.
01:09:16Thanks.
01:09:20Sister?
01:09:21Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:35Eric, wait!
01:09:43Cheryl?
01:09:46Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:51I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:09:56I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:59The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:02Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:07And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:10I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these pink-
01:10:15Eric!
01:10:16Mom, I gotta get going.
01:10:18Oh.
01:10:19Wow.
01:10:20Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:23Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:25Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:28Um, so, um, you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:10:37Yeah, sure.
01:10:44Oh.
01:10:45Sorry, no kissing, right.
01:10:47No, kissing.
01:10:48Uh, man.
01:11:04Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:07I-I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:11Wait, what?
01:11:12I never did that.
01:11:14I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:16She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:19She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:25I wonder who it was.
01:11:26I wonder who it was.
01:11:47At least this birthday's over.
01:11:55Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:02I mean, if you could just...
01:12:05I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:08Sigh.
01:12:25S'cuse me.
01:12:27S'cuse me.
01:12:28Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:12:29It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:30Um, yeah, that's the church I'd go to.
01:12:32Or used to go to.
01:12:33Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:40You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:47Um, it's straight up that way, and then left.
01:12:53You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:56Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:05Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:08Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:12Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:15I don't think so, but thanks.
01:13:19What's your name?
01:13:20Sue. What's yours?
01:13:23Jesus.
01:13:24Really?
01:13:26Si.
01:13:29Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:45I don't know.
01:13:46Oh, I don't know.
01:13:49You're welcome.
01:13:49Oh, I don't know.
01:13:50It's super hurried.
01:13:50I don't know.
01:13:50You
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