00:00Oh my god!
00:21I'm going to make the, um, get it, put it in time right in the top of it.
00:34Look at him.
00:35Ow!
00:39Wanna keep going?
00:45No?
00:46Okay, truce.
00:47Oh, what are you?
00:51Oh, you're so soft.
00:55Oh, you smell nice, too.
01:03Yes, sir, um, I'd like to take your statement.
01:11Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
01:14Bella!
01:14You know, for Christmas one year, you know, you're a celebrity, and you're a woman, and
01:20you.
01:21No, you couldn't.
01:28Here you are, people.
01:35You want pizza, too?
01:38You want pizza, too?
01:39Oh my gosh.
01:40You're so cute.
01:41all right i'm gonna go uh i need to go to work and make money for the family
01:47but you know you guys have a great day just sitting around doing
01:51how to kiss your cat properly grab him unexpectedly hold him tight if he doesn't
02:06you to hold him keep going he'll soon love you more grab his face stare him in the eyes and kiss him
02:14lovingly and then he fucking me or her oh they're calling you wow me or her shut up
02:36i just getting pulled over every day yes officer i'm what am i doing i'm going the speed limit
02:45oh you need a warrant to be in here you have to have a warrant to get into my vehicle sir
02:50i am a citizen of the united states of america and i demand my rights no you cannot search my
02:56glove box you cannot search anything thank you or else you come back when you get a warrant
03:02i've been looking for my cats everywhere couldn't find them for the longest time
03:12hello both of you
03:18hello
03:22hi i have to stop her from coming in but we'll let her in
03:28oh my god
03:29she's okay guys hey i wonder what's in the cupboard i need some coffee or something maybe
03:39oh my god what do you want this
03:53high five
04:04high five
04:06put her there
04:08give me some skin
04:10the claw
04:13claw is our master
04:16claw chooses who will go and who will stay
04:18i have been chosen
04:19there will my friends i go on to a better place
04:23i just have one question
04:26do you know what a pain in the ass is
04:28yeah
04:29are you a pain in the ass
04:31yeah
04:31baby man
04:42you know i live in my college dorm with my cat and she's always sitting at this door
04:54like something is there and it freaks me out and i learned the other day it's because people
04:58like to sit here and play with the cat under the goddamn door
05:02oh my god now come back
05:06our cat does not like the fact that we're all home quarantined
05:12she's like why are you in my house
05:14sorry
05:18okay
05:21every goddamn morning
05:27when i call you in here
05:30you stand outside the door like this
05:34and stare at me like i'm on crack
05:37when you're the one who looks like you're on crack
05:40my good lady
05:42my cat has just been sitting in front of my mirror like this
05:47just
05:48just
05:50checking
05:51himself out periodically for the past 10 minutes
05:55sir excuse me sir
06:14boop
06:15thank you
06:15uh hello sir i just need a favor real quick
06:18boop
06:19thank you
06:19hello yes sir
06:21boop
06:22boop thank you
06:23excuse me sir sir do you have a moment for a few words
06:26boop
06:27yeah don't be shy
06:28don't be shy
06:29dance some more
06:30dance some more
06:31don't be shy
06:32dance some more
06:33don't be shy
06:34show them your face
06:36oh
06:37go up the pole baby
06:39show them your face
06:39yeah
06:40yeah
06:41yeah
06:41yeah
06:41yeah
06:42yeah
06:43you're using pets
06:45yeah
06:47oh no
06:50somebody come get her
06:57she dancing like a streeper
06:59somebody come get her
07:01she dancing like a streeper
07:03oh
07:06baby come on
07:09baby it's me
07:33it's me
07:34it's me
07:36it's me
07:37honey
07:38that's right
07:45not netflix
07:47you can buy it if you want to
07:49i don't know if this is all cats
07:56but let me know
07:58so richard looks like a normal like size cat
08:05but then when i shake him out
08:08and he loosens up a little bit
08:12look how long he is
08:14he's like a foot long
08:16look how long he is
08:19get off my car bro
08:23get off
08:25get off my car bro
08:27bro
08:28he still doesn't get off
08:30bro
08:30get off the car bro
08:33bro
08:34hey look man
08:36i got some bad news
08:37okay
08:38your roof leaking
08:39i think somebody tried to take the top off your maybach
08:41but this ain't a maybach this a toyota
08:43your trunk exploded
08:45that you have to clean yourself
08:49i put you here
08:50and you jump here
08:52you have dirt on your feet
08:53look
08:54look at the dirt
09:01good morning
09:04little lady
09:06yeah
09:07oh
09:08oh
09:08oh
09:09oh
09:10oh
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