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Burgers and Bacon are the staple foods for this junk food addict who's on the road to obesity and poor health. Can Felix Economakis and Charlotte Watts cure her freaky eating?
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00:01Nikita Hartshorn is 29 and lives with her boyfriend of 11 years, Matt.
00:05A former child singing star, she appears to be a bubbly popular 20-something.
00:10But inside, Nikita's hiding a secret.
00:13She's addicted to bacon and burgers.
00:16Getting through two-thirds of her own body weight in salty meat every year.
00:20This meaty menu is bulked out with lashings of stodgy chips and beans.
00:25All I can eat is junk food. I need to eat something to live.
00:28At the moment, for me, it's junk food.
00:30Her fatty diet is so extreme that anything fresh or healthy turns her stomach.
00:35Minging.
00:37Over the next four weeks, Nikita will battle her demons
00:40with the help of psychologist Felix Economarcus
00:43and nutritionist Charlotte Watts.
00:45While Charlotte tackles her dreadful diet...
00:48Are you managing that one? It smells fishy.
00:50...Felix will uncover her painful past.
00:53As I was walking over with my friend,
00:55they dragged me to the floor and said,
00:58get me something to kill her with.
00:59Can Nikita find her voice and reclaim her shattered confidence
01:02to beat a lifetime of food phobias?
01:05Look like that.
01:0829 year old Bolton girl Nikita works in the finance department of a local bread company
01:28and lives with her fiancé, Matt.
01:31When it comes to food, every day she faces a greasy choice.
01:34Between bacon...
01:36I wouldn't like to get so many bits of bacon.
01:38I eat, to be honest, too much.
01:40Or burgers.
01:41Can I have a plain hamburger, please?
01:44And the weird food phobias don't stop there.
01:47If I'm having a burger, it just has to be just a plain burger.
01:50Nothing on it at all.
01:52And if it has, I take it back.
01:54I don't like my food mixing on the plate.
01:56Anything with sauces and salad can't touch anything that I'm going to eat.
02:00The only other things she can stomach are chips, beans and bread.
02:04No vegetables whatsoever, you know.
02:07The healthy food she doesn't touch at all.
02:10Tasting anything new is traumatic.
02:13I look at other people's food and I want to eat it.
02:16Try and put it in my mouth.
02:18I start panicking before it even gets to my mouth, to be honest.
02:21It's like I'm scared I'm going to gag on it, which I do sometimes.
02:24If it doesn't feel right on my tongue, then it's like, ooh,
02:27get it out of my mouth quickly.
02:29As soon as my brain starts ticking in, I put like a mental barrier there.
02:37So it's like, no, I can't try it.
02:38I don't like it.
02:39I don't like it without even knowing.
02:44She'll taste it.
02:45I don't like that.
02:46It tastes like dirt out the ground.
02:47And that's what she said to me once.
02:49I was like, what?
02:51You know what I mean?
02:52But life wasn't always this tough.
02:54As a child, Nikita was a minor local celebrity.
02:57Winning dance competitions, singing solo performances,
03:01and enjoying her success.
03:05And that was one of my favourite ones.
03:07Highest marked, 112.
03:09She used to be a championship dancer, ballroom, ballet, tap, modern.
03:14Been all over the country.
03:16Don't cry for me, Argentina.
03:22But her true passion was for singing.
03:24It took up like 95% of my life.
03:26And it's one of the best times I can think back on.
03:29And they're the best memories that I've got.
03:31Throughout her singing years, she was always a fussy eater.
03:34But as she performed less and less, her diet got worse and worse.
03:38And for her super fit boyfriend, it's hard to watch.
03:42She's eating rubbish all the time.
03:45And she's not exercising a great deal like she used to.
03:48Because with all her dancing and everything, she's getting bigger.
03:51You know, with her weight.
03:52And with her skin.
03:53You know what I mean?
03:54And as well as, like, being tired all the time.
03:57Or having no energy.
03:58You know, she's got no drive, no go anymore.
04:00I just feel that drained.
04:02I go to bed and I'll sleep till about one o'clock in the afternoon.
04:06And I can get up for about two hours and I can quite easily go back to bed.
04:09Because I literally have no energy at all.
04:12For the man in her life, patience is starting to wear thin.
04:16It would be easy to just go and walk away and find somebody else.
04:19You know?
04:20Someone who's just normal, you know?
04:23And I can just, like, go to restaurants and not feel ashamed.
04:29But I love her.
04:31Without help, Nikita's future looks uncertain.
04:34I just don't know what's going to happen if I don't change.
04:38I don't know if I'm going to lose my partner over it.
04:41I don't know if I'm going to make myself fall away.
04:43That scares me.
04:44But I can't, I might not be able to do things that normal people do.
04:56It's day one on the road to recovery.
04:58Nikita has travelled to London to meet the experts.
05:01Nutritionist Charlotte Watts and psychologist Felix Economakis.
05:07Hi.
05:08Hello.
05:09Nice to meet you, I'm Charlotte.
05:10Hi, nice to meet you.
05:11Hi, I'm Felix.
05:12Nice to meet you.
05:13How are you feeling?
05:14I'm nervous.
05:15I'm very nervous.
05:16Don't worry.
05:17That's to be expected.
05:18Now, Nikita, we have something to show you.
05:20Right.
05:21We're just going to take in the cinema.
05:22Okay.
05:23Okay.
05:24So, Nikita, the next few weeks are going to be very challenging.
05:36Okay.
05:37And that's why I would like to show you something that will help you.
05:40It is going to be difficult, but please remember that it's from the people who care about you most.
05:44We'll come and catch up with you in a minute, okay?
05:46All right.
05:47All right.
05:48Hi, Nikita.
05:49It's your mum here.
05:50Right, Bubbles.
05:51If we don't get you up now, you're not going to be around forever because you're putting
05:58weight on, you're conditioning your skin.
06:01And I look at your hair and you've got thick blonde hair.
06:04And now it's just like string, darling.
06:08It's heartbreaking for me to like see how you're eating is affecting you.
06:12You know, no energy, no go about yourself.
06:15I just want to see the old Nikita back.
06:17Hi, Nik.
06:18It's me, your dad.
06:19We've seen such a change in this last 10, 15 years.
06:23It's really upsetting for people like me who really care about you.
06:27And I know it'll like you to hear me calling you because I love you so much.
06:33That's all I can do.
06:34I'm sorry, but I'm crying.
06:37If it carries on the way it does carry on, I don't think I can keep taking it anymore,
06:43you know?
06:44It will end up splitting up over something really stupid as food.
06:48So all I want to do is just like wish you luck and say that I love you.
06:52Okay, Nikita, so that looked like quite difficult.
07:05Yeah.
07:06Yeah.
07:07It's obviously quite scary that Matthew's saying he can't take it for much longer.
07:11We've been together 11 years.
07:12I don't want to, obviously, I don't want to lose him.
07:16It's quite a concentrated thing to see, isn't it?
07:19Just every one of them saying how much I've changed and how much I've lost my bubbly personality and stuff.
07:25Do you feel like that yourself?
07:27Yeah.
07:28Yeah, I do feel like that.
07:29Not as confident in that as I used to be.
07:31Okay.
07:32So there's still this little bubbly girl in there.
07:34Somewhere.
07:35Well, we need to get her back.
07:36Okay.
07:37Let's go.
07:38Let's go.
07:39Look at this.
07:40But will the ugly face of her extreme diet be enough to put Nikita off for good?
07:46Out you come.
07:49Look at this.
07:50Let's walk you a little closer.
07:52Look at this.
07:53Let's walk you a little closer.
07:54So we have taken a look at your food diary and this is what you are eating in a year.
08:03All of this food that you see here.
08:08What's it like to take that in there Nikita?
08:11Pretty disgusting.
08:16If that's not bad enough, here are the numbers.
08:19300 rashers of bacon.
08:241,875 slices of bread.
08:27200 cans of beans and sausages.
08:3260 kilos of chips.
08:35250 beef burgers that you also take in a year.
08:43I just want to get a kind of snapshot from you just looking at this so far.
08:47I don't fancy any chips.
08:49Do we?
08:50Yeah.
08:51This diet is pretty much a recipe for bloatedness and tiredness.
08:55Just half fat and just studge.
08:58I need to do it.
08:59I'm ready to do it.
09:00It's not nice.
09:01Good.
09:02Good.
09:03In the next four weeks, what would you like to achieve at the end of that?
09:06Just to eat something with a bit of vegetables and something more that my body needs.
09:10And who would you like to eat that with?
09:11My partner.
09:12Okay.
09:13Okay.
09:14He's frustrated and fed up.
09:15So remember this picture and let's expand to a bit of colour.
09:20Okay.
09:21Yeah.
09:22Nikita's diet is pretty shocking.
09:23It's a whole lot of garbage basically.
09:24She can't go on eating this.
09:25She's going to have a lot of health problems.
09:26Back home and Nikita has had time to reflect on her family's messages to her.
09:41How was London?
09:42Good.
09:43Good.
09:44Good?
09:45Yeah.
09:46Good.
09:47Good.
09:48Good.
09:49Good.
09:50Good.
09:51Good.
09:52Good.
09:53Good.
09:54Good.
09:55Good.
09:56Good.
09:57Good.
09:58Good.
10:00Good.
10:01Good.
10:02Good.
10:03That's my surprise, sir.
10:04All right?
10:05I'm gonna go and I'm gonna change, though.
10:08I love you to bits.
10:09It's hard for me, too.
10:11And I love you to bits, good.
10:12I do.
10:13But I wanted to shake you to a bit of change.
10:14And you've done it.
10:17At least you made a step.
10:19I'm proud of you.
10:20Yeah.
10:22think about anybody else's feelings but actually seeing the messages I realise
10:26how much I'm hurting everybody else around me as well because they're seeing
10:28me change, not particularly like the way I look, not particularly liking the way I
10:32feel and so hopefully this will get me back on track the first step on Nikita's
10:45road to recovery is to understand the underlining reasons behind her
10:49troublesome eating. Felix has invited her to join him so he can find out why her
10:54childhood fussiness with food became a full-blown phobia in adulthood. Can we
10:59just start by you telling me a little bit about how your eating behaviour has been
11:03a problem for you in your life? I've always been fussy from as far back as I can
11:07remember but I think I've just got worse as I've got older because the older I get
11:11then the less I've been trying stuff. So the foods you like to eat burgers, beans,
11:15sausages, there's something about those foods that makes them acceptable to you
11:20and something about all other foods that doesn't. And with a food you don't? It's safe.
11:23It's safe. Because I know what I'm getting. I look at food and like whatever Matthew
11:28eats and I think yeah it looks really nice and but it's just I can't bring
11:32myself to put it in my mouth. People say try this, try this, I can feel myself like
11:36panicking inside and then I think I've built myself up then I'm that anxious
11:40before I get it even into my mouth. Right. I've lost the battle before I've even begun.
11:44Has anything else unusual happened in your life that's a source of stress that
11:49could make this worse? There was a time when I got attacked. I was 15. I was going
11:56to stay at my friend's and there were two girls and they said that they needed to
12:01take the temper out on somebody and unfortunately that was me so as I was
12:05walking over with my friend they they dragged me to the floor and one of them
12:10was straddled across me and said get me something to kill her with because she
12:14doesn't know who we are. So they came back with a brick and started smashing it in my
12:22face and dropping it on my face and asking. Hold it for a second, just take a deep
12:27breath for a second, just make your mind blank and just take out your mind for a second.
12:30Just imagine all that source knowing it's in the past now, just imagine just
12:34draining out of your feet because you realise now that it's behind you and you're safe.
12:37Yeah, I do, I just don't tend to talk about it.
12:40Or as a psychologist if I hear a life-threatening incident the kind of trauma
12:46warning bells come up and you know it's not exactly rocket science it's some
12:51kind of mistrust that you'll be safe with food. Does that? It does make sense to be
12:55honest I don't trust anything or anyone anymore. Does it hold you back from your
13:01career what you'd like to do in any way or? Well I work in an office at the moment but
13:05when I was younger all I wanted to do was be a dancer or a singer so and now I'm doing
13:09something that's the complete opposite. I don't know where I'm supposed to be going
13:12in my life I feel like I don't fit anywhere at the moment.
13:22Given what Nikita experienced with that intense assault when she was 15 she's
13:27actually coped very well. I mean some people develop agoraphobia they're afraid
13:31to leave their houses and they have all sorts of other fears so she's done
13:36surprisingly well but I still think this would have impacted on her eating behaviour
13:40as well then just made her more nervous about the unknown. The things I spoke to
13:44Felix about I've kind of mentioned in the past but I've never really spoken
13:47about them in detail and sometimes it's quite hard to deal with and it's easier
13:51to talk to a stranger than it is to your own family and friends.
14:01While Felix works out a way to deal with some of her past trauma Charlotte wants to
14:06find out more about her present food phobias. Plan today is to find out where
14:13Nikita lies in terms of food, trying new food and how much of a job is going to be to move
14:20her on from her extremely restricted diet. So when you look at this spread here
14:27what's coming to mind? Can you talk me through what you see?
14:31Yeah I think it looks nice like that salad looks really nice
14:34but getting it into my mouth is where I struggle.
14:36Okay I think we should start.
14:38No, let's talk some more.
14:41You mentioned that you don't like foods together.
14:45Yeah.
14:46So you have some rules.
14:47Yeah.
14:48I'm inclined to push you.
14:49How would you feel about eating tomato and cucumber together in one mouthful?
14:55Okay.
14:57It's all right.
15:11It's all right.
15:13It's all okay after.
15:15The initial shock?
15:17Yeah, I did the gag thing but I don't know why because it wasn't actually that bad.
15:22I don't know why my body did that.
15:26Habit?
15:27Yeah, probably.
15:28Gag reflex is protection because our body thinks it's going to have to expel something
15:32that's potentially harmful to us.
15:35Okay.
15:36But Nikita's gag reflex has been protecting her from healthy foods for 20 years.
15:42Charlotte presses on.
15:43Here we go.
15:44That doesn't taste very nice to me.
15:49Chicken and other veg fare no better.
15:53I can feel like loads of bits on my teeth and stuff.
16:02As meat and veg are a struggle, Charlotte tries a fishy alternative.
16:06So do you want me to try this?
16:08Yeah.
16:09Please.
16:10I'm happy if you try it with a cucumber.
16:13Absolutely.
16:14Just a little bit, yeah.
16:15I don't want that.
16:17Are you managing the one?
16:22It smells fishy.
16:23I don't even like walking past the fish market.
16:27It knocks me sick.
16:28I'm sorry, I can't eat that.
16:29It's all right, it's all right.
16:30I'm really sorry.
16:31No, don't worry.
16:32Good try, though.
16:33Your face went through a whole load of changes there.
16:35What was going on inside?
16:36I was panicking and I could just...
16:37It sounds really stupid and I know it's so stupid before I say it, but it was so stupid.
16:38It's all right.
16:39It's all right.
16:40It's all right.
16:41It's all right.
16:42It's all right.
16:43It's all right, it's all right.
16:44I'm sorry, I can't eat that.
16:51It's all right, it's all right.
16:54I'm really sorry. No, don't worry.
16:56Good try, though.
16:57Your face went through a whole load of changes there.
17:00What was going on inside?
17:02I was panicking, and I could just...
17:04It sounds really stupid, and I know it sounds stupid before I say it,
17:07but it was just getting more and more fishy.
17:09Mmm.
17:10I still taste it.
17:12I don't know.
17:19Miki's had a couple of gag reflexes,
17:21and so much of this to her is about fear and the unfamiliar.
17:27She's not battling with me in a sense of control,
17:31but she's trying to work it out for herself.
17:34That's going to be a large journey for her.
17:38It's something I know that she can see that she needs to do,
17:41but I think she's quite scared of it.
17:50To help her on her way, Charlotte's given Nikita a hamper of healthy goodies.
17:53Sweet.
17:54Food.
17:55And some homework tasks.
17:56Try one different vegetable a day, preferably green.
18:01Also clear out the tins.
18:03Time for a clear out.
18:05Remove all the tinned foods from your cupboards and fridge
18:07and throw them in the bin.
18:09Serious?
18:10That's what it says.
18:11Bye.
18:12Au revoir.
18:13I have nothing left in my cupboard.
18:14I know.
18:15You know I have.
18:16Say bye-bye Nikita.
18:17But while it's bye-bye to the tins of beans and sausages...
18:34Try that.
18:35It's round two for the broccoli.
18:39Hey, Reda.
18:55It's gone.
18:56You gapped a little bit at the end of it.
18:58I know.
18:59And then you went...
19:03Yeah, but I didn't want to spit it out.
19:05You wouldn't be laughing.
19:06I can't open it.
19:08You know what I mean?
19:09I'm astounded that she's trying things, you know.
19:12It's like, before, you wouldn't even entertain that.
19:16It didn't taste as bad as last time.
19:18Proud of you?
19:19I'm pleased that I've got some broccoli down because I think that was one of the veggies that I tried with Charlotte and I was like,
19:24Oh, no.
19:25It smells disgusting.
19:26It tastes disgusting.
19:28But I do know it's something that my body needs, so I'm going to stick with it.
19:33I'm not just going to give up.
19:35I am going to keep trying with it.
19:42With the promise of a new start, Nikita and her mum head out shopping for a new look.
19:47It just saw every lump and bump on me, so I don't think so.
19:51But you wouldn't wear that.
19:52I think it's cute.
19:53But it's stick out and, like, with my hips and stuff.
19:55But 20 years of burgers and chips means that her wardrobe choices are a bit limited.
20:00See, I like these, but this probably won't look very nice on me because it's clingy.
20:04You never know, darling.
20:06Here goes the changing room.
20:10Let me have a look at them on you.
20:12Don't see half of them because she comes out upset.
20:15She likes them, but they don't suit her.
20:18She looks horrible in them.
20:20I don't like it.
20:21No.
20:22No, it's not you.
20:23Obviously, the clothes I like don't suit me, being the size I am, so...
20:26I feel a bit minging, to be honest, a bit, like, too chunky.
20:31Yeah.
20:32It's just you're eating.
20:33So, when it's time for lunch, Nikita's keen to show her mum that she means business.
20:39Can I have...
20:41I'm going to try a hot chicken salad, please.
20:48Well, I'm shocked.
20:49I'm flabbergasted.
20:51I've not got it down me yet.
20:53There's baby steps.
20:55But could this be too much too soon?
20:57Yeah, that's mine, thank you.
20:58Yeah, that's a lot for me.
21:00I did struggle with the chicken when I was with Charlotte, but it's one of the things
21:05that I do want to eat.
21:06This is weird trying it in front of you, though.
21:08I know.
21:09You've got a rash coming.
21:10It's nerve.
21:16Were it not nice, that bit?
21:18It's not that it's not nice, it's just, like, it's just a different taste from it.
21:23Carrot's all right.
21:26But after 20 minutes, mum can't help but comment on the lack of progress.
21:31You're just playing with it.
21:35Are you really enjoying it?
21:36It's not about enjoying it just yet, though.
21:38I think you're expecting too much of me straight away.
21:41I suppose I were expecting you have a couple more fartfuls.
21:45It's like you think I've not done anything.
21:47I don't.
21:48That's how it feels, though.
21:50Don't get upset.
21:51I don't know.
21:52I just think maybe you weren't the right person to come for lunch with when I tried this.
21:57You look down in dumps now.
22:00I mean, it's only been, what, a couple of days into it.
22:05I thought that was, like, a really big step.
22:07You know, at least I'm managing to keep some of it down.
22:09I don't know.
22:10I just didn't feel...
22:11It wasn't a very comfortable situation at the end.
22:14It's Friday.
22:15Felix has asked Nikita to join him at the Harlow Dog Tracks.
22:27I think yours is last.
22:28Yeah, I think it is last.
22:29I think it is last.
22:30Following their last emotional session, Felix wants to find out more about Nikita's confidence
22:37crisis.
22:38What we're working on today is building up your confidence, because you told me before,
22:45it's your confidence that's holding you back from having interesting experiences.
22:49Yeah.
22:50When you see somebody you don't know, you've never met before, how confident do you feel
22:55about just saying something to him, striking up a conversation?
22:58If I have nothing that I need to say to him, then I won't just strike up random conversation
23:02for no reason.
23:03The purpose of today is to really do something that's slightly out of your comfort zone,
23:07which is just approaching somebody you don't know, you've never met before, and actually
23:11striking up a conversation.
23:12OK.
23:13OK, Nikita, let's put this to the test.
23:18I want you to strike up a minute of sustained conversation with someone of my choice.
23:23Let's start off easy.
23:24That chap eating the crisps by the wall.
23:27Interrupting his food.
23:28Yeah.
23:29OK.
23:30OK, off you go.
23:33Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
23:35I've never been betting before, and I have no idea what you do.
23:38Any chance you can tell me what to do?
23:40The first time is the hardest time, so I'm hoping that when she breaks through the first
23:45time, she gets on the roll, until building up momentum where she just has a breakthrough.
23:54That's a very good start.
23:55OK.
23:56So let's have a look at someone else.
23:57Two blokes talking to each other.
24:02Excuse me.
24:03Sorry to interrupt you.
24:05Before long, the shy, untrusting Nikita seems to have disappeared.
24:09I'm sorry to bother you while you're on your night out.
24:11Am I right to just talk to you for a minute?
24:13And forgetting Felix entirely, she soon becomes best buddies with half of the people in the
24:17bar.
24:18I'm just nauseating into your conversation.
24:21Just to learn how to do, how you go on about doing the dogs, because I've never been
24:24before, and I've no idea what you do or how you ask.
24:28I was expecting Nikita to be very apprehensive and basically really scared.
24:33This is actually scary stuff for a lot of people, and she actually was really confident
24:37doing it.
24:38Thank you for your time.
24:39All right, thank you.
24:40Well, all credit to you that you did this challenge.
24:47Yeah.
24:48But again, I'm really impressed by how confident you did it.
24:50Other people might do it, but really be, look, I'm really sorry and be a bit nervous
24:54and a bit sweaty.
24:55But I really believe you're a lot more confident and courageous and open-minded than you currently
24:59think you are.
25:00That's your perception.
25:01I've gone into it, expecting to do things that are uncomfortable to me and unusual,
25:04and I've kind of thought, yeah, I'm going to just do it.
25:06So what I like to do is take that same learning that you've made today and apply it to food.
25:16I think coming to the dog track, it did actually make sense.
25:18I can kind of see why you're doing it, but I'm probably shocked at myself at how easy
25:22I found it.
25:23I think from today I will apply the techniques that I've used today to my food and just go
25:26at it open-mindedly and just give it a good go, because maybe everything's not as bad
25:30as what it first seems.
25:37While Nikita's got over the first hurdle of getting new foods in her mouth, she's still
25:41struggling to find meals she can actually eat.
25:45Charlotte has suggested a new breakfast option, natural yogurt.
25:50I use it to stop my sunburn on holiday and that's as far as I go with natural yogurt.
25:55It smells like stuff I've tasted before.
25:57It smells like, I don't know, the smell's familiar.
26:13Well, I didn't spit it out. That's progress.
26:16Not nice.
26:17I think that's enough natural yogurt for today.
26:22It is only baby steps that I'm taking, but to me it's massive.
26:25I'm just worried that maybe what I'm doing is not enough.
26:29I'm just not sure how far or how realistic the end goal is for me just yet.
26:34Worried about Nikita's health, Charlotte has sent her for blood tests.
26:46Today she travels to London for the results.
26:48Because of her really bad habits within her eating, her energy levels are always low, you know.
26:55She's always like, hmm, tired all the time.
26:58She's always ill. She's always ill.
27:01Always, always ill.
27:03I do worry about her future because there's only so much her body can take and then you don't know, you know.
27:08I am nervous. Even if they say something bad, I need to take it in a positive way really rather than letting it get me down.
27:17Dr Pixie McKenna is a GP with a special interest in eating problems.
27:22She's analysed Nikita's blood results to find out exactly what damage her junk food diet has caused.
27:29So Nikita, this is Dr Pixie.
27:31Very nice to meet you.
27:32Nice to meet you.
27:33Are you a bit nervous?
27:34Yeah.
27:35I've been ploughing through all of your blood results.
27:38The first thing really is that you're very, very high level of a thing called uric acid in your blood.
27:46Right.
27:47Sounding like it's a problem.
27:48It is a problem.
27:49Okay.
27:50Uric acid crystallises and it can cause something called gout.
27:58Gout is a disease caused by uric acid in the body.
28:00This creates crystals that build up around the joints.
28:03It's characterised by severe stiffness, swelling and burning pain.
28:09Since gout is caused by protein rich foods like bacon and burgers, Nikita gets a glimpse into the future.
28:16Now that's what we call acute gout.
28:20It doesn't look nice.
28:21So painful that people go to casualty because they think they've broken the bone.
28:26I have seen grown men cry with gout.
28:29Look at these.
28:30Yeah.
28:31I do get things when it's like I can be carrying something and my hands will swell and they'll go all blotchy.
28:36And I do get that quite a lot and it's painful.
28:38So it may well be that you've had mini attacks of gout already.
28:41Crikey, that's a worry actually.
28:44And it's not just gout that Nikita has to worry about.
28:49Have you heard of kidney stones?
28:51Yeah.
28:52They start off like this and you end up trying to pee golf balls.
28:58Right.
28:59Okay.
29:00Can you imagine that is how painful it is?
29:02Are you a drinker?
29:03No.
29:04No.
29:05Looking at your liver function test grossly abnormal.
29:08Your diet is pretty junk ridden with none of the components that your liver needs to detoxify.
29:16You're not looking very happy.
29:18I think I'm falling about.
29:20Although this is doom and gloom, it is what I need to hear.
29:24Yeah.
29:25But you know you are 29.
29:26There's time and there's a lot we can do.
29:29Okay.
29:30So I want you to take this as being a positive thing in that way but see this as a severe
29:35warning as well.
29:36Yeah.
29:37I kind of expected something to be wrong but just not as much as what came out.
29:42I think next time I'm faced with a plate of vegetables or whatever, I think I now need
29:46to think to myself, I need to eat these otherwise I'm going to get poorly.
29:50It's not a case of, oh no I don't like it, push it away.
29:53It's not, my body needs it now.
29:55It's like it's crying out for it so yeah, I need to, I'll try and use it in a positive
30:00way.
30:03Felix is in Bolton to find out more about Nikita's assault.
30:10Although the girls responsible were caught, he thinks that Nikita is still deeply affected.
30:15Well today I'm going to visit Anne-Marie which is Nikita's mother because Nikita was very
30:20fearful and a young child when this happened to her.
30:23And I'd like to get some more information to fill in those missing pieces of the impact
30:27that, that assault had on the family.
30:31I hear you've got photos and...
30:34We've got everything of Nikita.
30:36We've got everything.
30:37Yeah, from her being a baby upwards, yeah.
30:39We've got loads of trophies.
30:41These are just thought of when she was a dancer.
30:45Happy, smiley little girl.
30:47And so how old was she here?
30:49Yeah, she was about 21.
30:51About 21.
30:52A King and I?
30:53Yeah, she was a naughty little girl in that.
30:56She was the lead again in Starlight Express.
30:59My God.
31:00At Palace Theatre.
31:02She's pretty good.
31:03An entertainment.
31:04She used to be good, should I say.
31:06And then it all changed when she was beaten up.
31:10That was the last one.
31:12She kind of went in a shell.
31:14Do you feel you've both dealt with that attack differently in your own ways?
31:17Yeah.
31:18Yeah.
31:19Yeah.
31:20How have you done with that?
31:21I thought I'd been there for Nikita, you know.
31:24She obviously needed you a lot after the attack.
31:28Yeah, I thought I felt wanted.
31:30I didn't even let her breathe without me being there to look after that.
31:35I mean, it's hard as a parent.
31:36I'm a parent too.
31:37And there's nothing more instinctive than being there and wanting to be there for a child.
31:43And suddenly, if it doesn't need us as much, we feel like, oh, it was my job.
31:47It had a bit of a meaning.
31:49I just wanted her to be like she used to be.
31:54Do you feel you've accepted the new Nikita?
31:57No.
31:58Right.
32:03In my mind, in the aftermath of that assault Nikita suffered,
32:06there seems to be a schism between the old Nikita and the new Nikita.
32:10The old Nikita was seen as everything positive, beautiful, dancing, singing,
32:14and the new Nikita is seen as the antithesis of that.
32:17So she's depressed, she's unattractive, she's moody,
32:20and it's not going to help Nikita overcome her food fears.
32:23So I really want to do something to sort of put that old perspective to rest.
32:32Having ditched the bacon butties and struggling with yogurt,
32:35Nikita's still finding it hard to eat a healthy breakfast.
32:39I'm going to have porridge and I'm going to put a banana in.
32:42Oh, brilliant.
32:43Do you want porridge with me?
32:44Yeah, I'll have some porridge with you.
32:48Milk.
32:49Milk.
32:50Make a change of sharing a healthy breakfast.
32:52Yeah.
32:53Aren't it?
32:54It's good.
32:59You're really impressed with my porridge skills.
33:01Yeah, I am.
33:08Okay.
33:11Yeah.
33:12It's good.
33:13Yeah, I'm really happy.
33:14You're eating a normal breakfast.
33:18You know, a bit of banana in it, a bit of fruit.
33:22It's good.
33:23Yeah, finished.
33:24For today.
33:25She keeps, like, you know, doing really well.
33:27She keeps surprising me.
33:28She keeps just eating up, you know.
33:29Matthew's really pleased, really proud of me and I think that's all I can really ask for.
33:42I'm quite happy with the way I'm going at the moment.
33:46Despite her breakfast success, Nikita's still struggling to finish an entire meal.
33:58Especially one with veg in it.
34:01Hello.
34:02Hello.
34:03So, Charlotte has summoned Nikita to London, where she hopes a little Spanish influence
34:07will take her to the next level.
34:10Part of the reason for choosing tapas is that you get to choose lots of little small portions.
34:16It's quite a nice way for you to take control of tasting and testing things.
34:21I'm going to let you lead.
34:23What's that one?
34:24That is chard, which is a green leafy vegetable cooked with hazelnuts and raisins.
34:31Kind of like cabbage leafy.
34:35It'll look like that.
34:37Oh, that was barely in there.
34:39It's just not nice for me.
34:41Let's move on.
34:42Okay, well, there's gnocchi with black olives.
34:51I don't like that either.
34:59I tried to come into it, like, more open-minded, but it's just stuff I've been trying at home,
35:03I've not had as bad a reaction as I have to this.
35:07To me, it just feels a bit like a step back.
35:10Okay.
35:11A bit upset, actually.
35:12It's like it just catches up with you and all of a sudden it's like it's just hit me like what I'm trying to do.
35:17Yeah.
35:18This is the hardest point, really.
35:21There's so much about this that's new and unfamiliar,
35:24and you really, really must not give yourself a hard time about it.
35:27And I don't want you to see this as a struggle, so we'll finish here.
35:30You've done really, really well to sit here and try new things.
35:34I've been positive all the way up to this point, and now I feel a bit like I've let myself down.
35:47It's just hard for me, really, so I think I'm going to go to bed, try not to worry about it too much,
35:52and I want to get up in the morning and just try again.
36:02With her confidence at rock bottom, Felix has called Nikita to Birmingham.
36:06It's time to put her food fears at centre stage.
36:09I think Nikita's problem is twofold. The first part is her lack of confidence, and the second one is I'd really like her to get over that assault that she suffered when she was 15 and connect back to her old self.
36:21Here we are at the closed show in Birmingham. What we've got lined up is you're going to have a makeover.
36:29We like that bit.
36:30We like that bit. How are you with that?
36:31Yeah, that's right.
36:32You like that?
36:33One of the things I know about you is you're a very talented performer. You used to love dance, you used to love singing.
36:38Yeah.
36:39After your wonderful makeover, I would like you to sing here in front of all these people. How are you with that?
36:44Uh, petrified.
36:46Right now, your body's telling you this is scary.
36:49After you've pulled this off, and I have faith in you, how do you think that might affect other areas of your life?
36:55If I can overcome my nerves and feel confident after it, then that's a good way to approach food.
37:00What's a tomato on a plate compared to what you're going to do today?
37:05I can definitely see the point to it, like building the confidence and stuff.
37:08Just when you bring me and tell me what I'm doing, I can't believe how nervous I actually am, considering I did used to do it.
37:14You wouldn't think my nerves would be as bad as they are, but at the minute, I'm shot to pieces.
37:18I'm just going to get it over with.
37:24And while she gets ready, Felix lays on another surprise.
37:27Nikita's entire family have made the four-hour round trip to be in the front row.
37:32Thanks, man.
37:33Yo, Matt.
37:34I'm Felix.
37:35Nice to meet you.
37:36Hi there.
37:37If we're all ready, then we can go through.
37:45Hi, Nikita.
37:46How are you feeling?
37:47Nervous.
37:48Well, that's expected, even when you're performing before you're nervous, won't you?
37:51Yeah.
37:52We've got a little bit of support for you here today.
37:54Your family are going to be here as well to support you.
37:59Your family are there rooting for you.
38:02And I want to take a deep breath and really show people what you can do.
38:07Put your hands together.
38:08Give her a big round of applause.
38:09She is nerve-wracking getting up here.
38:11Make some noise for her.
38:12Make her feel welcome here at the clothes show.
38:15She looks really cool as well.
38:19Yeah.
38:24But when it comes to the crunch, just as it is when she's faced with food, Nikita's
38:51nerves take over.
38:52Knowing we were all here made her upset and then she couldn't get a note.
38:59She hasn't sang for such a long while.
39:01It's just nerves.
39:02But after a quick pep talk and help from the crowd, she decides to stay and face the music.
39:08Give her a big round.
39:09hands together.
39:10She says,
39:11Oh, you may not be sure.
39:13You may not be sure.
39:14I can't see what she needs.
39:15Love, you may not be sure.
39:16I can't see what she needs.
39:18Yeah.
39:19I can't see what she needs.
39:20I can't see what she needs.
39:21I
39:39Yeah, I'm
39:43Today ecstatic
39:51Well done, well done, well done. It wasn't that bad was it? You're free to go
40:09I could see her dig deep and I said come on you can do this and she just shook herself out of it, dug deep and she did it. It was brilliant, awesome
40:16She hasn't sung for eight years. She felt this attack robbed her of confidence and today she really just reclaimed that
40:23And if she can do that for singing, she can really do it for something like some vegetables
40:26I think what happened in like the past six minutes has just been a journey of anxious nervousness and then
40:32Exciting everything all rolled into one. I think I just need to take the confidence
40:36I've got coming off and take that away with me and try and put that same approach to food
40:46It's week three and with the final challenge fast approaching charlotte decides to tackle the vegetable issue head-on
40:54And with mum now behind her this time. It'll be a family affair today. I really want to get her mum involved
41:03So that together they can learn to get a bit more love of vegetables and a bit of fun in terms of learning some preparation skills together
41:11Okay, this is Andrew. He's a top vegetarian chef. So he really knows his way around the vegetable. Would you say?
41:17I'm going to try
41:20And specifically how to make them taste
41:22Excellent, okay, ladies. I am. I'm going to prepare some vegetables Nikita. Yeah. Have you used a vegetable peel before?
41:32I've got a rough idea
41:35There's not a trace of bacon or burgers in sight today vegetables take center stage
41:40Just take a few slices on and out and like that. No fingers of the fennel. Okay
41:47Not as scary as it looks. Yeah
41:48Just trim that off a little bit and then tip them off to about there
41:53Charlotte hopes that a vegetarian master class will make all this veg seem a little less scary
41:59Double cream there
42:01I'm just going to pop some in there
42:04I watch the cooking programs on teller. I just think yeah, that looks really good
42:08or I might try that for Matthew, but I never get around to it, but I just I just watch
42:13It does smell lovely. Yeah
42:16Just run it around
42:19Very pretty
42:20Yeah, I'm quite excited
42:21You know exactly it is in there
42:23Yeah, I would normally cut it open and fiddle about with it to see what I could see inside
42:27I know it's just mushrooming and with like the wine and stuff, so I am a bit nervous
42:31I'm not going to lie, but um I'm still I'm still going to try it and give it a good go ready
42:38She may know what's in it, but will she be able to hold down a mouthful
42:41It's very good
42:47It is nice
42:49I'm trying a bit of everything around the plate
42:53I really like that
42:56I have a good cook
42:57Excellent
42:58I'm really pleased with how that went, I really enjoyed it
43:03It was quite nice to actually make something and see it through to the end and then actually taste it
43:06From now on, I think me and Nikita will go in the kitchen and get to know each other better in the kitchen and learn together
43:14Instead of going clothes shopping, we can go food shopping and no, I think we'll still go clothes shopping
43:20Thank you from class
43:21Back in Bolton, Nikita's new diet is having a big impact
43:29She and Matt are even considering a new addition to their household
43:34Their first ever dining table
43:36Too far, I'm out of that, innit?
43:38We don't live in a cottage
43:40That looks like it should be in a cocktail bar
43:42Yeah
43:43Don't know if it's going to be a bit too big for us
43:46I'm not too keen on this, on that colour
43:48It's pretty funky this
43:49It's a bit low for a table
43:51A bit low?
43:52Yeah
43:52What do you mean how low can you go?
43:54It's mint
43:59I think it's a big step that we've brought a dining table
44:02And that we're going to, you know, be like normal people
44:08And hopefully it'll encourage you more to eat better as well
44:12And their first meal sitting at the table together is a healthy jacket spud and cottage cheese
44:18It just looks disgusting
44:19It's not too bad on tea tools
44:21We'll see
44:22In a week's time, Nikita will sit down to a full meal with her family
44:26But so far, she's only managed to nibble a bit of veg
44:30I'm not sure I'm going to be able to finish all of it
44:32What's that face for?
44:36It's not that bad
44:37It's not that bad
44:40But it's not long before Nikita's gagging ruins the mood
44:56It's just a bit ridiculous
44:58You've had harder things
45:00Yeah, but I've only tasted them
45:03At least I've got to try and finish the whole plate
45:05You'd be right
45:05Try and finish it
45:07It's not hard
45:08Just eat it, Nik
45:09There's cheese on there
45:11I know
45:12I know
45:12I'll see you
45:20I'm not being in trouble
45:22You're getting on my nursing in your bed
45:23I'm still eating it
45:26I'm not the biggest fan of cottage cheese and the potato
45:33But I was eating it to show her that there was no fear
45:35If she doesn't go into it wholeheartedly, she's going to stumble
45:42You know, that's what I think
45:46Because I'm struggling with it
45:47I think he's probably thought, oh great
45:49Why do I even bother?
45:50Just makes me feel guilty that I can't eat it
45:52I like he's disappointed in me
45:58It's the final week
46:00As Nikita is still struggling, Felix heads to Bolton
46:03He's convinced the past is still holding her back
46:06And affecting her confidence with food
46:08I still feel there's a lot of painful memories
46:11With what happened in the past
46:13Not just for Nikita, but also for her mother
46:15So my aim today is to bring mother and daughter together
46:18So I can finally put these painful memories
46:20Into the past where they belong
46:21And get some sort of closure on what happened
46:24That assault that happened
46:26Those two girls have done enough damage in both your lives
46:29That I don't want any more energy attached to that
46:32Kita, when we first talked in the therapy session
46:36I picked up that you still had a lot of
46:38Emotion, distress about the attack
46:40And Anne-Marie, we talked a little bit about it
46:42And obviously it's a distressing event
46:44We don't talk about it, do we, a lot
46:47I think for me, I tend to shut it away
46:51And not really deal with the emotions
46:52And to be honest, the first time when I did speak to Felix
46:55That was the only time that I've ever really cried as hard as I did
46:58What is it you both need from the other that will help you to make peace with what happened?
47:02I don't think I really need anything from you to make peace with it, to be honest
47:06I just need you to just not worry about it and not dwell on it
47:10Because you're the first one to say, but you're living a life sentence
47:13And you don't understand how much it's changed yet
47:15I suppose all I'm doing is try and wrap cotton wool around Nikita
47:19Even though she's grown
47:21Yeah
47:21Now, you know, this is the most basic instinct of any parent, isn't it?
47:26To wrap cotton wool
47:27I do it as well
47:28The only thing is there's a time to wrap cotton wool
47:30And then the cotton wool becomes a straight jacket
47:32I think just the one thing that you just kind of need to get your head around is
47:35One thing you say to me is
47:36I just want my old Nikita back
47:38I think one thing that you just need to think
47:40I'm 29 now, I'm not going to be that 15 year old girl unfortunately
47:44I'm still the same person inside
47:47I've just grown up
47:49If everyone can accept things as they are, even as painful as they are
47:52That's actually health, that's actually healthy
47:55It's progress and people can move on
48:02Nikita has said a lot of really useful and important things to her mum
48:09And perhaps she's never said before
48:10Very liberating in some ways to clear the air by airing their grievances
48:15This is actually going to help Nikita with her eating
48:18Because everybody can accept her as she is now
48:20Without this whole tension and conflict from the past interfering as it has been doing
48:26Time for one last painful trip down memory lane
48:29Nikita takes her mum to the spot where she was attacked 14 years ago
48:32To finally lay the pass to rest
48:37Not far, it's only down, it's only, well, at the bottom here
48:42You never actually saw where it happened, did you?
48:44I'm not sure you really want to
48:46All I got told you were at the corner somewhere
48:49No, that's where they found me, at the corner
48:51And yeah, I managed to stumble to the end of the street
48:55But I'm still here, this is only a bit of a way of standing here
48:58But to be honest, standing here, I can't say, I don't really know
49:01I don't feel, like, really upset
49:03I'm just like sad little teenagers
49:06I was just in the wrong place
49:08And I think that's the only way I can look at it from now on
49:13Just about moving on, isn't it?
49:14So in that respect, yeah, it was helpful
49:16I suppose I've never got it off my chest
49:19Because I've overprotected my feet
49:21You're scared of hurting my feelings all the time, aren't you?
49:23All the time, yeah
49:24With the food, I suppose we give in to what she wanted
49:30Just to keep her happy all through the line
49:34Didn't we?
49:35Yeah
49:35So, yeah, it has been good
49:39We've put it behind us
49:41You know, it's out
49:50Four weeks ago, Nikita set herself a challenge of finishing a meal with her boyfriend, Matt
49:54Today she'll find out if she's done enough to conquer her fear of food
49:59I can't believe it's the final day, to be honest
50:01Because when I started the journey, it seemed like it was ages away
50:05And now I'm actually on the final day
50:07A little bit nervous
50:08Trying not to dwell on it too much
50:10Because that's when I get myself into a state
50:12And, like, I'm overwhelmed by it all
50:14And then I feel like I can't do it
50:15All right, the fear's gone for me trying stuff
50:17And I think it'll be all right trying whatever I have today
50:19But it's just actually finishing it is a different matter
50:28All right
50:29Yeah
50:29Sure?
50:30Yeah, I think so
50:31Just, uh, will it be me? I'll just enjoy it
50:34Yeah
50:34It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks
50:36You know, or, like, what
50:38If the lot are looking at you, just block them out
50:39You know, you can do it
50:41You know what I mean?
50:42Mm
50:47Along with Lucuta's family
50:49Charlotte and Felix are also along for support
50:52One of the real major facts here is that she hasn't actually finished a meal yet
50:57That's right
50:58So she's always withheld that actually going through with it
51:02Actually committing, actually finishing
51:04Well, she's set that goal
51:05This would be a perfect opportunity if I had to prove it to herself
51:08Absolutely
51:10But with no burgers on the menu
51:12Thank you
51:12Will she find anything she can stomach?
51:14I'll have a banana and almond cheesecake
51:21I skipped the main course
51:22Just straight onto the pudding
51:24Can't do that
51:26Seriously, what have you done now?
51:27There's not really anything that I want to try
51:31Everything looks a bit too big of a stretch for me that's on here
51:34I don't want fish
51:37I really struggle with it, don't I?
51:39No
51:39So I think turkey's probably the easiest off the list
51:42Are you ready to order?
51:43Yeah
51:44Yeah
51:44Thanks
51:44Can I have the roast turkey?
51:46Yeah, could you go
51:47While Matt and the family choose their food
51:50Hello
51:51Take a seat
51:52Nikita has just enough time for a quick pep talk
51:55How are you feeling?
51:56I'm a bit nervous about the meal, to be honest
51:59I think probably what I've ordered, I might not have tried some of the things
52:02I think that's the scary part
52:04A short time ago, you were told you were going to sing in front of hundreds of people
52:09And you can't tell me that that is a bigger
52:11Yeah
52:12And you sailed through that with flying cars, you impressed everyone
52:16You just need to go in there, be kind to yourself
52:18And go and enjoy because you're much more likely to succeed if you enjoy it and you're relaxed about it
52:24Yeah
52:26Nikita's chosen roast turkey and stuffing in a red wine sauce
52:29I think she'll cope with it, I'm not saying she'll eat it all
52:35I think Nikita is a little nervous, but I think she's determined to do it
52:40I'd love to see her eat a full meal, I don't know what happens in that
52:43I hope it does, but I don't think it will
52:46The moment of truth has finally arrived
52:50It's a lot of stuffing now
52:51How is Alice?
52:52Well, that's carrots
52:53What's that?
52:54That's patina
52:59Is it all right?
53:14Yeah
53:20It's all right
53:21You're just training your brain, aren't you, to see what you like
53:23I mean, you wouldn't have been able to do that
53:26Before?
53:26A moment ago, but yeah
53:27No
53:28It's really good to see that she's enjoying something that's not
53:31I won't say enjoy, you know, don't push it
53:33I'm surviving
53:34I think you're enjoying it
53:35Yeah
53:36I think deep down, you're just unsure
53:38You know, you're just unsure
53:40No, it's clean on the stuffing
53:41Okay
53:42Everything else I can kind of cope with, it's just taking me a while
53:48Nikita's determined to finish her meal
53:50But 20 minutes later, everyone else has cleared their plate and she's still struggling
53:54Yeah
53:55Yeah
53:56Okay
53:59Come on, you can do it
54:00Just got to push on
54:02Yeah
54:05What do you feel it say for when you was on that stage, yeah
54:08Yeah
54:09Just stick to the stuff that you enjoy, yeah
54:12Yeah
54:13Yeah
54:18I think that's a blow
54:19Yeah, fair enough
54:20You're doing bloody what I feel
54:21You're doing well, sweet
54:22Yeah
54:24Although she hasn't eaten everything, Nikita's family are overjoyed
54:27You can't put into words they're proud of you
54:34Because I'm a mother and I am proud of her and she's made such a big step forward
54:40It made me really proud
54:42Just to watch her eat something proper like that
54:46Hello
54:46Hi there
54:47How are you doing?
54:48Towards the end when everybody else was finishing, I think a little bit of panic probably set in
54:52I did as much as I could do
54:53That sounds reasonable
54:55It's quite astounding to me because she's willing to try things a little bit more
54:59I think it's just a learning curve
55:00I think she'll do really well afterwards because I'll keep pushing her
55:06The fear did kind of go away and I think that that was the biggest thing for me
55:10Because when I've tasted stuff nothing's been as bad as what I ever thought it would taste
55:14Yeah, I'm happy
55:16Now it's over
55:19To Nick
55:20To a healthy future
55:23To good times, yeah
55:25One month on and Nikita's life has radically transformed
55:35Since Charlotte and Felix have left me to get on with it on my own
55:38I think I've done all right, I'm still trying to try new things
55:40She's eating sweet potato, she's eating peppers now
55:43She can't get enough of eating chicken
55:45Can I please try the char-grilled chicken?
55:49We went for a meal, I had exactly the same on my plate that he had and he was like, yeah, yeah, she's eating it
55:53I'm so proud of you
55:54Thank you
55:55Really proud of you
55:56I've got more energy
55:58I have lost a little bit of weight
55:59I feel better about myself, I don't feel self-conscious when I'm going out
56:03She's a happier person
56:05It's proven to her that, you know, she can do anything she wants if she puts her mind to it
56:10And this more confident Nikita even wants to brush up on her singing skills
56:17It made me realise what I'm missing and it was something that I enjoyed a long time ago and there's no reason why I can't do it now
56:22She's going forward and like she said, she won't be going backwards again
56:26My mum would say, oh, I've got some of the old Nikita back
56:29So it's just some of the old Nikita just a bit more grown up
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