- 5 months ago
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00:00what's up wolf bag fam it's your boy kid back in it again i hope you're doing well continue my
00:14journey of one foot in the grave alongside victor and margaret what adventures are going to be
00:19happening on this week's episode i gotta stay tuned to find out but ladies and gentlemen
00:23whether your new recurrent snacks is not included damn it you gotta bring your own go get your
00:27cuppa they'll get your snacks kick back relax hopefully have a good laugh alongside with me
00:33and thank you so much for accompanying me on my journey let's get it snacks not included let's
00:39freaking go let's get it
00:40but i am just too long in the tooth so i'm an oap and weak mean but i have not yet quite come to see
00:51i may be over the hill now that i have retired fading away but i'm not yet expired
00:59clapped out run down too old to save one foot in the grave
01:06okay and finally patrick three things that cause you stress remember we discussed them we disable
01:16them um only three well let's see work i suppose it hasn't been much fun since the man who lived
01:24next door killed my chances of promotion family never quite managed to start one after the man who
01:31lived next door sabotaged my planet and of course our new house has never really felt like home
01:37what with the man who lived next door losing all our furniture now i think i see a pattern beginning
01:43to emerge here demonizing of this mythic figure in your life suggests a certain irrational paranoia
01:49at work yes yes i can see why you'd think that but i swear to you this person has totally
01:56dogged my life we're talking about a man here who for reasons utterly impenetrable drove a motor mower
02:03around my employer's carpet singing hey mr tambourine man then proceeded to demolish her summer house
02:10and poison the entire garden by spraying it with cocaine and with a reduction in your fertility
02:17an impromptu vasectomy performed by a crab up my beach shorts
02:21yes
02:28no i just okay to eradicate the problem you must first confront it
02:36go back and visit this man you face the fear only then can you neutralize it
02:41right and how do we neutralize these tensions in our life by understanding the therapeutic nature
02:49of a fundamental human mechanism the act of laughing regular laughter not only lifts our spirits it
02:56stimulates the diaphragm assisting our breathing and so relieving our stress so for a count of ten
03:03please with lots of gusto
03:10oh
03:12oh
03:13oh
03:14oh
03:15oh
03:16oh
03:17oh
03:18oh
03:20oh
03:21oh
03:22oh
03:23oh
03:24oh
03:25oh
03:26oh
03:27oh
03:28oh
03:29oh
03:30oh
03:31oh
03:32oh
03:33oh
04:02by plummeting from a tall building,
04:05fell as flat on his face as the man himself.
04:08Ranked against the self-destruction of other famous funsters,
04:13this creaky creed occur
04:15like the vintage martyrdom of a Hancock or Fatty Abacall.
04:21It was about as emotionally unsettling as a bag of Winkles.
04:27It was only trying to earn a living, poor bloke.
04:30Oh, give it one star, but don't bother.
04:35I'll be out the bag.
04:39Yes.
04:46Morning.
04:48Morning.
04:49Hello, Professor.
04:50Good morning.
04:51You're on your lunch break?
04:52I don't want to hassle you, Mrs Meldrew,
04:54but we've had a few calls
04:55about an extremely loud television blasting out of your bedroom at all hours.
04:59My God, is this it?
05:06What have you got in there?
05:07The Empire Left and Square?
05:08Yes.
05:09I'll spare you the plot of another white-whore farce, Roger.
05:12Suffice to say, it all hinges on the words 15-inch and 50-inch
05:15sounding very similar over the phone.
05:17You're supposed to be coming to take it back next week.
05:19Only Mr Bithery says the vibrations from Moira's steward
05:22have been loosening his false leg.
05:26What's got by you?
05:27Pippa.
05:28Oh.
05:29Um, sorry, will you excuse me?
05:37Come on, bossy.
05:39Keep to give you a party.
05:39It's going to grow.
05:40I can't catch a break, man.
05:59Patrick.
06:00I know.
06:05It must be absolutely ages.
06:10What the hell?
06:17Whoops.
06:18It's kids' clothes.
06:22Oh, yes.
06:23Easily.
06:25Anyway, how are things?
06:26Oh, a bit grisly at the moment, if truth be told.
06:30With it being Patrick's time of the month and everything.
06:34You know that thing men go through
06:36where they can't open their mouths
06:37without getting right on your tits.
06:42What with that and Denzel losing his voice.
06:48Anyway, how about you?
06:50Oh, yes.
06:52Still ticking over.
06:54Thanks for asking.
06:56Did I tell you I'm doing some work for this agency
06:58as a part-time care assistant?
07:01Oh, you know, visiting one or two people,
07:04getting them washed and dressed in the mornings.
07:07Oh, and of course, Victor's got his new window cleaning round,
07:10which seems to be keeping on the mischief.
07:11Looked like Freddie Slutter, man.
07:12Anyway, if you're feeling a bit down in the dumps,
07:15the two of us are going out for a bite to eat tonight.
07:17Why don't you...
07:18No, no, no.
07:19Right.
07:20Bye.
07:23Victor, what the hell are you doing?
07:25It's all right.
07:27I think you're going to be able to wear them.
07:29It says I may have left them in a little bit too long.
07:31Oh, will you stop that?
07:34This is the washing I said I'd do for that lady
07:36who's just come out of hospital and her three children.
07:38Ah!
07:39What?
07:40There's...
07:41This is what I wear, you think?
07:46Tell it, tell me.
07:47What you've done to these now?
07:49I'm sorry, I...
07:51I do...
07:52Should have did it yourself, girl.
07:57Ah, thank you very much.
07:59Can this possibly be our handmade sunscreen wallpaper
08:06for the spare bedroom?
08:08I'd just about given up hope.
08:10It's a wonder they sent it at all.
08:12The way you kept moaning on at them.
08:15Ringing up asking to speak to William Caxton.
08:17I merely asked them
08:19what kind of medieval printing process they were using
08:22that meant we had to wait 15 weeks for a simple order.
08:26Didn't care for his attitude one bit,
08:28that one had looked like Frank Zappa.
08:31Anyway,
08:32I've said to Pippa
08:33they could join us for this Chinese tonight.
08:36It's such a long time since we've seen them.
08:39No.
08:40Not since we stayed over at their house that night
08:42and found they'd put a waterproof sheet on the bed.
08:46And that ruddy sausage dog
08:47sniffing around just as I was getting undressed.
08:51Staring up between my legs
08:52and dribbling as if it hadn't been fed for a week.
08:55I don't know what he thought he was about to...
08:58You've got to be careful now.
09:00Oh, I do not do this!
09:05Will you look at this?
09:12Amazing.
09:17Bastards!
09:18Can you believe the nerve of this?
09:23I'll skin their ruddy heights for them!
09:31Oh, there we are.
09:32If you're stuck on what to get me for my birthday,
09:34there's a Jackson Pollock
09:35going begging at Sotheby's for two million.
09:37Just fill this wall rather nicely.
09:40Failing that, I don't know,
09:42something from Rolf Harris's
09:43non-drip emulsion period, or...
09:46So, that's it then, is it?
09:48You won't come out for a meal
09:50with Mr Meldrew tonight on principle
09:52just because of what's happened in the past.
09:55My dear, the police were digging up bones
09:57in his back garden this morning.
10:03I don't really need to remind you
10:05what the shock of seeing Mr Meldrew
10:06with no clothes on did to this poor little mite.
10:08Enough to strike anyone dumb, I should think.
10:11We don't know it was that that made him lose.
10:15What the hell is all this?
10:18Congratulations!
10:20I am pleased to announce that you,
10:22Head of Readers Digest Junk Mail,
10:25are one of the lucky winners
10:26in my special prize draw
10:28and have been selected to receive
10:29at least one of the following sensational gifts.
10:33A pair of diamond earrings
10:35worth at least £10,000,
10:37a fabulous dream holiday
10:39in Sunkissed Waikiki,
10:41or a dead rat.
10:43Ooh!
10:43Open now to see which of these
10:46prizes is yours.
10:48Oh, my God.
10:52I feel sick.
10:55Yes, this is just one
10:57of a series of rotting rodents
11:00that are yours to examine
11:01free of charge in your own home.
11:03Please rush me a decomposing squirrel
11:06by return of post.
11:08Yeah, that's where we'll see her.
11:09They're like a dose of their own ruddy medicine
11:10for a change.
11:11You know who you're starting
11:13to turn into, don't you?
11:14Hmm?
11:15And the frightening thing is,
11:17you can't even see it.
11:29Yeah, take a close look, bro.
11:31He's a junior now.
11:42Time to move.
11:49Bloody zip.
11:50Don't know why I bother.
11:52Brand new pair of trousers
11:54and can't budget for love,
11:56no money.
11:56I mean, no matter what you buy
12:06nowadays, there's always
12:07got to be a problem.
12:11I mean, that was asking
12:12for trouble, wasn't it?
12:13Leaving Mrs. Warboys
12:15to mind the fort
12:16when this arrived.
12:18It's a whopper, isn't it,
12:20Mr. Meldrum?
12:23She must have known
12:24it was the wrong model
12:25for goodness sake.
12:26Oh, will you keep
12:27still jigging about
12:28like a Morris dancer?
12:30Fair.
12:32Oh, my goodness.
12:33Come on.
12:34Danger.
12:35We've got 45 minutes
12:36to get to this place
12:37and we'll betide you
12:38if it's not up to standard.
12:39I've heard some
12:40very dodgy stories
12:41about this restaurant.
12:42Meaning what?
12:43Meaning I wouldn't
12:44be at all sure
12:45this is a misprint.
12:48Hmm?
12:49That was a shack.
12:51Meaning what, Margaret?
12:54Let's go, baby.
12:55We're going.
12:58Well, that was
12:59absolutely, um,
13:00horrible.
13:02Oh, my goodness.
13:03Yes.
13:04I think when the crispy
13:04duck arrived
13:05and they burnt the beak,
13:06it was a sure thing.
13:08Oh, my God.
13:09We've already established
13:10it doesn't work.
13:11Will you stop
13:12trying to force it?
13:13Oh!
13:13I don't know why you're
13:22moaning.
13:23I think it's all been
13:24very tasty,
13:26nausea.
13:27So, I...
13:28You were saying
13:29it's Patrick's birthday
13:30coming up.
13:31What are you going to get him?
13:32Have you deserted yet?
13:33Well, he's been dropping hints
13:34about a painting
13:35for his office,
13:36but...
13:36Or maybe I'll just
13:38get him a book
13:38or something
13:39on modern art.
13:40Oh, well.
13:42Didn't you say
13:43there's an artist
13:44who lives in your
13:45window-cleaning round?
13:46Perhaps you could find out
13:47if he's got any
13:47decent of that.
13:48I can do, perhaps,
13:49tomorrow morning.
13:51In the meantime,
13:52I think I'll go
13:52for a piss-statch
13:54of your ice cream
13:54and set.
13:57We'll be back
13:58in two shakes.
14:15Huh.
14:20What the...
14:21I want to see...
14:50Lisa, MasterCard,
14:55okay.
14:59Wow.
15:05Let's go.
15:06Oh, my.
15:10So, I suppose
15:11I have got to take
15:12the blame for all this
15:13now, have I?
15:14As usual.
15:15Yes, whose idea
15:16was it to come to this
15:16god-awful dive?
15:18Please do remind me.
15:19I mean, when I booked
15:20the table,
15:21it completely slipped my
15:22mind to inquire
15:23about the underground
15:23brothel facilities.
15:25I've got to empty
15:26your bladder in good faith.
15:27You don't expect to be
15:27yanked off by the local
15:29vicerate.
15:30Well, it certainly
15:30gives a new meaning
15:31to the phrase
15:32popping out for a Chinese.
15:35You sure you don't want
15:36just around your room?
15:36No, I'll be fine.
15:38Thanks, you'll be here in a tick.
15:40You two get along,
15:41have an early night.
15:42I'll phone you tomorrow.
15:44Night.
15:45Can I get you a drink,
15:46madam?
15:47Okay, I'll have
15:49white wine, please.
15:51Uh-oh.
15:58Uh-oh.
16:09Hello.
16:10Good morning.
16:11Do you suffer
16:12from a clenched colon?
16:14I beg your pardon?
16:16Does your skirt
16:16feel too tight
16:17after a heavy meal
16:18and your tummy
16:19all puffed up
16:20like it's about to explode?
16:22Well, you could be
16:23one of thousands
16:23of women in Britain
16:24today
16:25who suffer the misery
16:26and social embarrassment
16:28of IBS.
16:29Well, Derek Pangloss
16:30has kind of popped in
16:31to talk about this.
16:32Derek, I'm here.
16:33In which the normal
16:33operation of the bowel
16:34has for some reason
16:35become impaired.
16:36The normal...
16:36What's going on here?
16:38Mrs. Albury's mother
16:39across the road
16:40rang up to see
16:41her TV's on the blink
16:42and would we mind
16:43if she washed an item
16:44on irritable bowel syndrome
16:45through her binoculars?
16:47It's stretching the house
16:48down, you know,
16:49and she suffers from...
16:51Or like somebody
16:51standing on a hosepipe.
16:53Exactly.
16:53Hello?
16:54Someone standing
16:54on a hosepipe
16:55in which the muscular
16:56convulsion can also
16:57often lead to...
16:58Sorry.
17:01Piss off.
17:05Who were you trying
17:06to read?
17:08Well, I was going
17:08to have another go
17:09at those wallpaper
17:09merchers,
17:10but I suppose
17:10I can wait.
17:12It's got to be
17:13on my way anyway.
17:15You won't forget
17:16to call in on that
17:17artist on your way
17:18and see if you can
17:19get something
17:19for Patrick's birth.
17:21If he's there,
17:22yes.
17:22...many feet
17:23of tough, muscular
17:24tract, whose principal
17:26function, the absorption
17:27of all the water
17:28in the liquid
17:29of high lactobers
17:29in her diet...
17:30Ha, ha!
17:36I suppose you know
17:43you're going to go
17:43right through that
17:44thing in a minute
17:45and punch the
17:46cabinet.
17:47Mm-hmm.
17:47Congratulations on
18:05choosing the new
18:06advanced miracle
18:07freezer that will
18:08never need defrosting.
18:09Ha, ha!
18:10Ha!
18:11Margaret, I wasn't
18:20expecting you this
18:21morning.
18:22Well, I'm actually
18:23between house calls,
18:25but as I was in the
18:26area, I thought, um...
18:27A cup of coffee
18:28wouldn't go amiss.
18:33Where are you off to?
18:34Er, just popping out
18:35for a second, freezer.
18:36What?
18:37Just popping out
18:38for a second, freezer,
18:39in case the first one
18:40packs up.
18:41Er, which, of course,
18:42it has.
18:43Huh, bloody freezers.
18:43So, um, I'll see you
18:45later, Mrs. Melbue.
18:46Are you well?
18:50Well, you got back
18:52safe and sound, anyway.
18:54After last night's
18:55fun and games.
18:56Well, er, in a manner
18:58of speaking, yes.
19:03What do you mean?
19:04What is it?
19:05Why?
19:06What happened?
19:06After you'd gone, I got
19:09chatting to this bloke,
19:10didn't I, in the bar.
19:13His name was Warren.
19:14He was there on his own
19:15and...
19:16Oh, shit, she smashed?
19:19Oh, God.
19:19Oh, yes.
19:21His wife was away on
19:22business.
19:23He said, did I want to
19:24come back for coffee?
19:25I said, as long as it
19:26wasn't unprotected coffee.
19:29All right, then.
19:30And about 55 brandies
19:32later, I don't know if
19:34you've ever had sex
19:35under anaesthetic.
19:37Now, here's the killer,
19:39Margaret.
19:40When I was in the cab
19:41coming home, I found
19:43he'd slipped a 20-pound
19:45note into my pocket.
19:47For your taxi fare,
19:48I suppose.
19:48Or something else.
19:50Margaret, he picked me up
19:51in that restaurant.
19:53What if he thought I was
19:54part of the merchandise?
19:5520 pounds?
19:59A lost leader?
20:01The thing is, I've got to
20:03know one way or the other.
20:05Being a bit of cheap trade,
20:06I could just about deal
20:07with.
20:08I've had all sorts of
20:09crap jobs in my time.
20:11But if I found out I was
20:13having an affair last night,
20:15well, that's why I've got
20:16to see him again.
20:17I've got to find out one
20:20way or the other for my
20:21own sanity.
20:25Here we go, then.
20:26That's the last of them.
20:29No, it's fantastic.
20:32I think sir's going to be
20:34well pleased when he gets
20:36back.
20:37Oh, is that the front door?
20:39I'll leave you to it, then.
20:41If you need anything,
20:42give me a shout.
20:46As I say, Mr. Jarvis is
20:48away at the moment in
20:49South Africa.
20:50But anything you wanted
20:52to make an offer on,
20:53I could give him a call.
20:54These would all go for
20:56about seven or eight
20:57hundred in a gallery.
21:01As I say, it's for a
21:02friend, and I'm not quite
21:04sure how much she's
21:05prepared to spend.
21:06Of course, his
21:07international profile is
21:08rising all the time,
21:10chiefly because he's such
21:11a perfectionist.
21:13Any canvas he's even
21:15remotely unhappy with,
21:16that's it.
21:18Out it goes.
21:19Trash.
21:19All right, let's go.
21:37Amazing, isn't it?
21:39Something like this can be
21:40just thrown away when you
21:41think of what some people
21:42would pay for it.
21:43Well, it's only going in the
21:45skip, if you can find a
21:46use for it.
21:48Oh, really?
21:50Lovely.
22:00Absolutely
22:00hideous.
22:04You honestly think Patrick
22:05will want this on his wall?
22:08What's it meant to be?
22:10It's not meant to be
22:11anything.
22:12It's an abstract.
22:13It's different things to
22:15different people.
22:16I thought I might just give it
22:17a simple black frame and it
22:19could be a present to him
22:20from us.
22:22It stinks to high heaven.
22:24I know that much.
22:25You say people pay 700 quid
22:28for this?
22:29They must be out of
22:30their tiny minds.
22:36Ah.
22:37You know why?
22:39It's upside down.
22:44Oh, no.
22:45But, but, but, no,
22:46Mr. Willis, don't you think
22:47you should...
22:47No.
22:50Right.
22:51OK, then.
22:52Bye.
22:53That's 16 people
22:57all called to cancel now.
22:59Why should that happen
23:01all of a sudden?
23:02Well, maybe there's
23:03a rival window cleaner
23:04in the area
23:04poaching your customers.
23:07You know,
23:07I think it's starting
23:08to grow on me.
23:10The more you look at it,
23:12the more you see
23:12what he was trying
23:13to get at.
23:15The way the colours
23:16are all quite
23:17skilfully arranged
23:18the more you study it.
23:21Because on like this,
23:22I won't have any more
23:23calls left
23:24before long.
23:30Thanks.
23:31Might have to start
23:32and sell my body
23:32to that Chinese restaurant.
23:34Oh!
23:38Whoops.
23:39Victor!
23:41Leave it!
23:42To me!
23:43I'll shock him!
23:44Oh, Jack Dieter!
23:46Jeez!
23:47I love what she yells.
23:56I saw a programme once
23:58where they took
23:59three months
24:00to restore
24:02a damaged Rembrandt.
24:04If I can just get
24:05the worst of it off
24:06before it dries.
24:07a review of my window
24:29cleaning.
24:30In an occasional series
24:34about our job men,
24:35local arts critic
24:37Marjorie Quayle
24:38assesses the work
24:39of newcomer
24:40Victor Meldrew.
24:43I didn't even know
24:44she was one of my
24:44customers.
24:46His squeegee action
24:47is limp and flaccid.
24:51His entire subtext
24:52mired in cliché.
24:55Where one longs
24:55for broad strokes
24:57of sparkling clarity,
24:59Meldrew has nothing
25:00to offer
25:00but a thoughtless
25:02residue of suds.
25:04As for his technique
25:06with her chamois leather,
25:08I have seen it
25:09more deftly manipulated
25:10on a goat's arse.
25:13Ha-ha!
25:15Wow!
25:17What a review.
25:18That's a stinker.
25:19No wonder
25:20your business
25:20is dropping off.
25:22Trying to earn
25:23a living,
25:24for goodness sake.
25:25Why have people
25:28got to be so cruel?
25:31Yeah, why?
25:33What, you bastards?
25:35That's Liddy,
25:36who's a little sweetheart,
25:38aren't you?
25:39And this here's
25:40Segretti.
25:42And out there,
25:43eating the pansies,
25:44that's Magruder.
25:45So, are all your pets
25:46named after
25:47Watergate conspirators?
25:49I tell you,
25:49it's a fascinating period
25:50of American history.
25:51You never see
25:51all the president's men.
25:52Listen,
25:54about the other night,
25:57I had had
25:58quite a lot to drink
25:59and,
26:00Warren,
26:01can I just stop you there
26:02for a second?
26:03That money
26:04you put in my purse
26:05afterwards.
26:06Oh,
26:07was more than enough,
26:08I hope.
26:09For the taxi.
26:11Listen,
26:12you don't have to feel
26:13guilty about this,
26:14either of us.
26:15It's just,
26:16there comes a time
26:16in any marriage
26:17when you need
26:18a little break.
26:19You go abroad
26:20for a holiday
26:20doesn't mean
26:20you have to emigrate.
26:22Yes.
26:22Well,
26:23I really don't think
26:24it's a good idea
26:25for us to...
26:27Is this your wife?
26:30Oh,
26:30yes,
26:31that's Sally.
26:32Bloody hell.
26:34She's gorgeous.
26:36Well,
26:36she is,
26:37in her own way,
26:40and you
26:41in yours.
26:42A few hours from now,
26:44she'll be in Geneva.
26:47So...
26:48Holy...
26:51Holy people,
26:53no!
27:02Warren?
27:03I can't.
27:10Oh.
27:12Hi.
27:12Can you believe it?
27:15Get me on head
27:16if it wasn't screwed on.
27:18Um,
27:19sorry to interrupt.
27:21Oh, thank you.
27:23Er...
27:24His sister?
27:25Oh,
27:26you're joking.
27:27Apparently,
27:28they share a house,
27:29but she's hardly ever there.
27:31Of course,
27:31he wanted me
27:32to think he was married.
27:33That way,
27:34there was no danger
27:35of it getting serious.
27:37I mean,
27:37I think that's absolutely
27:38the worst kind of cheat,
27:40don't you?
27:40someone who says
27:42he's a cheat
27:42when he isn't.
27:44Anyway,
27:45I think
27:46I've found
27:47the perfect softener
27:49in the shape
27:50of Denzel Junior.
27:52Yes!
27:54You can talk,
27:55can't you?
27:57I'm hoping
27:58that with this
27:59and Victor's painting,
28:01he'll be in a good enough
28:02mood by tonight
28:03for me to broach
28:03the dreaded subject.
28:04Now,
28:06not a peep
28:06out of you
28:07till I say.
28:10Patrick!
28:11Very happy returns.
28:14I think
28:14Victor's got
28:15a little surprise
28:16for you
28:17upstairs.
28:20Oh!
28:24Well,
28:25I, um,
28:26I don't know
28:26what to say.
28:28They're taking it back.
28:29I suppose
28:31you're wondering
28:32where it came from.
28:34Well,
28:34that's right.
28:36Couldn't even begin
28:37to hazard a guess.
28:40The rectum
28:40of a very nervous
28:41albatross.
28:44A flock of willow warblers
28:45with chronic dysentery.
28:48Yes,
28:48I have to say,
28:49Mr Melger,
28:49you certainly
28:49haven't lost your touch.
28:51And when your wife
28:51said you had
28:52a little surprise
28:53lined up for me,
28:53I'll admit
28:54one or two old favourites
28:55did spring to mind.
28:57A gift pack
28:58of your own
28:58worn underpants.
29:00A jam-bomb
29:01of cat's urine.
29:02But no,
29:02for all-round
29:03staggering pointlessness,
29:04this has to take
29:05the biscuit.
29:07What do you say?
29:08You don't like it?
29:10Mrs Melger,
29:10what is there to like?
29:11It's
29:12excrement.
29:14Oh!
29:16How very gracious
29:17of you to say so.
29:18I don't know
29:19why I bother sometimes.
29:20You try and build bridges
29:22and what happens?
29:22I should have known better.
29:24Well,
29:24Victor!
29:25You're not going
29:26to leave this here.
29:27What is it?
29:28What's happening?
29:29How do you even
29:30attempt to get
29:31inside a mind like that?
29:32It's not just the fact
29:33that he brings me
29:34a sheet of plywood
29:35splattered with bird shit
29:36for my birthday.
29:37For some reason,
29:38he imagines
29:38he can take the curse
29:40off the smell
29:41with trace elements
29:42of tomato ketchup.
29:44I'm sorry,
29:45but it's not staying here.
29:52I'm sorry.
29:53I think I forgot
29:54my drill.
29:56I don't know.
30:03Oh, no!
30:13Oh, my, no.
30:16Well, I don't know.
30:18I...
30:19We knew the artist
30:20wasn't happy with it,
30:21but, as you say,
30:23why do people
30:24have to be so
30:25horribly critical?
30:28How many cancellations
30:29now?
30:30More than enough,
30:31I think,
30:32to convince me
30:32I should chuck it all in.
30:34Thank you very much,
30:36Marjorie Quill.
30:37I still can't credit
30:40that thing with Pippa,
30:41you know.
30:42But she could do
30:43something like that
30:44without knowing
30:45whether she was being
30:46used or not.
30:47I mean,
30:48for some men,
30:48the height of sexual arousal
30:50may be achieved
30:51by being pampered
30:52like a baby.
30:52What's going on?
30:53All right.
30:54People might say
30:55I'm abusing the system
30:57to indulge my own
30:58erotic fantasies,
30:59but I'm paying for a service.
31:02She's providing one.
31:03Who's getting hurt?
31:05The fact that to her
31:06it is not a game
31:08is what makes it
31:09all so terribly exciting.
31:13Here she is now, sir.
31:18Morning, Mr. Jefferson.
31:20I had a thing, Mr. Day.
31:22Would you like a hand
31:23getting out of your pyjamas?
31:25Hey, you.
31:25All bathed and dressed.
31:28I thought we might try
31:29this new taco powder today,
31:30see if it makes a difference
31:31to the itch, you know.
31:33Oh, we?
31:34Holy shit.
31:36You just want to ease
31:37your legs over the side
31:38and then I think
31:40I can just wriggle these off.
31:43And a teenage night, sir.
31:44There we go.
31:45Yes, yes, yes.
31:46Up we get.
31:50This is strange today.
31:53I feel a bit stiff
31:54after everything today,
31:55so just have a good night's rest
31:57and let those bones
31:59knit back together.
32:00Well, that's one birthday
32:05I won't be sorry
32:06to put behind me.
32:07Yes.
32:10By the way,
32:11I met a bloke
32:12the other night
32:13at that restaurant.
32:14I was quite drunk
32:15and it didn't mean anything
32:18but we went back
32:19to his house afterwards
32:20and made mad passionate
32:21love together.
32:22I won't do it again.
32:23Let's fucking go.
32:41Guess that class shit
32:42is working.
32:43I'm just too long
32:44in the tube
32:45I've got it
32:46too deteriorate
32:48This is great.
32:52Oh, man.
32:53Oh, I am no
32:54spring chicken,
32:55it's true
32:55We made it this far?
32:57Cold word?
32:59Cold words?
33:00And my old knees
33:01have started to
33:02time of the month.
33:02I've just got too many
33:05miles on the clock
33:06So I'm a wrinkly
33:08crinkly
33:09set in my ways
33:10It's true that my body
33:12has seen better days
33:14But give me off a chance
33:15and I can still misbehave
33:17One foot in the grave
33:20One foot in the grave
33:23One foot in the grave
33:27Ladies and gentlemen,
33:29we're going to talk about it.
33:30Don't go anywhere.
33:31Use the code words
33:32in the comments down below
33:33Let's me know you made it this far
33:34And I'm going to talk about it.
33:36Hold on a second.
33:36Thank you so much for hanging out.
33:37Appreciate you all.
33:39Ladies and gentlemen,
33:40number one,
33:41thank you so much
33:41for accompanying me
33:42on my journey.
33:44I hope that you had
33:44a wonderful time.
33:45I had a blast
33:46watching this episode
33:47and I got to say
33:48a big happy birthday
33:50to Patrick.
33:52You know,
33:52on this episode
33:53he's going to have
33:54a birthday
33:55that he will soon
33:57not,
33:58he will not forget
33:59any time
34:00soon,
34:01ladies and gentlemen,
34:02man.
34:03He was,
34:05I think that,
34:06you know,
34:06Victor Meldrew
34:07is like the Freddy Krueger
34:08to Patrick.
34:11You know,
34:11this guy
34:12can't escape
34:13the nightmare
34:14that is Victor to him.
34:15You know what I'm saying?
34:16We love him.
34:16Obviously,
34:17we all love him
34:17to pieces and stuff
34:18and we got to give
34:20brilliant performance
34:22by Patrick.
34:23You know,
34:23you could just see
34:25the disgust.
34:26He's had it up
34:27to here
34:28a long time ago
34:29with Victor Meldrew.
34:30You know,
34:31all the recalling
34:32when he was talking
34:34to the dude
34:34with the,
34:35they were sitting around
34:36in that,
34:36I guess,
34:37that class,
34:37that session,
34:38you know,
34:39he's recalling
34:41all these crazy
34:42experiences
34:44and it's clicking
34:46all the wonderful times
34:47that we laughing at him,
34:49you know,
34:49on this show
34:50and it's a brilliant
34:52recap there.
34:53Just,
34:53you know,
34:54just his experiences,
34:55you know,
34:55this is not,
34:56you know,
34:58normal neighbor
34:59experience here,
35:00obviously,
35:01and I love it all
35:03for that,
35:03man.
35:03Victor Meldrew
35:04is phenomenal,
35:06ladies and gentlemen.
35:07So,
35:08give Patrick,
35:09I give Patrick his credit
35:10on this episode.
35:11he's had a lot
35:13of crazy shit
35:14going on
35:14in this episode,
35:15man.
35:16You know,
35:17Victor constantly
35:19has been trying
35:19a lot of new jobs
35:21and,
35:22you know,
35:23this is a time
35:24where people value
35:26or listen to
35:28more of critics
35:29and stuff like that.
35:30So,
35:31you know,
35:31the critics can be cruel.
35:33It is in human nature
35:35to be cruel
35:36and Victor is kind of
35:38seeing a little dose of it
35:39and Margaret's looking at him
35:40like,
35:40you're one to talk,
35:43you know,
35:43in so many words.
35:44But,
35:45you know,
35:46it was a time
35:46that a lot of people
35:47listened to critics
35:48and stuff.
35:49I've always been a person
35:49that even in,
35:52you know,
35:52where critics were popular,
35:53you have all these websites
35:55and gaming websites,
35:56you know,
35:58that would grade games
36:00and all that stuff.
36:00I've been a firm believer
36:02that you have to watch
36:05something for yourself.
36:06You know what I mean?
36:07If we listen to everybody
36:08that ever has told us
36:10something or,
36:11you know,
36:11you can,
36:12and you can read reviews,
36:13no worries and stuff like that.
36:14But if we live in a world
36:16that we value that more
36:19than our own,
36:19you know,
36:20opinion,
36:21our own thoughts,
36:22you know,
36:22I think,
36:24I think that's bad.
36:25So although I've had friends,
36:27countless friends,
36:28you know,
36:28I've interacted with a lot of people
36:29in the community,
36:31you know,
36:31just in content creation
36:32in general,
36:33that they value a lot of,
36:35you know,
36:36opinions and stuff.
36:36But it is also very important
36:39that you value
36:40your own opinion.
36:41You know,
36:42you watch for yourself.
36:43How many times,
36:44even on my channel,
36:45have people told me
36:46not to watch a show?
36:47Don't do it.
36:48It sucks.
36:48And I watch it anyway,
36:50ladies and gentlemen.
36:51And I enjoy it
36:52because at the end of the day,
36:53I'm on a journey.
36:54So,
36:54you know,
36:56and the games,
36:56video games,
36:57it's the same shit.
36:58And now,
36:59I think that people
37:00have smartened up,
37:02you know,
37:02we don't listen
37:03to the movie critics.
37:05I know people go on
37:05like Metacritic
37:06or what it's called
37:07Rotten Tomatoes
37:08and they're like,
37:09all right,
37:10the movie critics
37:11say the movie sucks
37:12and then what really matters
37:14is the audience score.
37:16What do the people think
37:17at the end of the day?
37:18You know what I mean?
37:19And I think that
37:20always holds true.
37:21So,
37:21I do listen to people's opinion
37:24like,
37:24you know,
37:24when I'm talking to my friends
37:25and they say,
37:26yo kid,
37:26you got to check this out.
37:27You know,
37:28then my interest is peaked.
37:29You know what I'm saying?
37:30They say,
37:30oh,
37:30they like the movie.
37:31Even guys like you,
37:32all who suggest,
37:33ladies and gentlemen.
37:35And then I check for myself
37:36to see whether I like something
37:37because no matter what,
37:39somebody out there
37:40doesn't like it,
37:41hates it,
37:42you know,
37:42thinks it's shit,
37:43you know,
37:44like that,
37:44like that beautiful painting,
37:47ladies and gentlemen.
37:48And you know what?
37:49In art,
37:50it's in the eye of the beholder
37:51because yeah,
37:52we do,
37:53you do have all these
37:54abstract kind of paintings
37:55that mean different things
37:57or could mean
37:58as open to interpretation
37:59and shit.
37:59But on this one,
38:00man,
38:01now there's not much
38:02open to interpretation.
38:04It's some pitching shit,
38:06you know,
38:06bird shit.
38:07And,
38:08you know,
38:08with a mix,
38:09a little bit of ketchup on it,
38:11you know,
38:11to try to,
38:12you know,
38:12take some of the funk away,
38:14man.
38:14But man,
38:15when you see these guys
38:17take down the stuff
38:18and the art
38:18and then talking about the trash,
38:20you're piecing all these things together.
38:22And again,
38:23I think Victor has done a great job
38:26in attempting to,
38:28you know,
38:29not burn the bridges,
38:31but mend those bridges.
38:32And,
38:33you know,
38:33it's a shame that Patrick
38:35doesn't see that,
38:36you know,
38:36he quite frankly,
38:38I've said it,
38:38I might've even said it,
38:39he's very similar
38:40to Victor Meldry.
38:42I've said it probably
38:43when a lot of their first interactions
38:45when they were going back and forth
38:46and beefing and shit,
38:47but he is,
38:49you know,
38:49when Pippa said it,
38:52and you got that nice frame picture,
38:54I love that transition
38:55that they did.
38:56You know,
38:57it's amazing,
38:58you know,
38:59the effects that happen
39:00from,
39:01you know,
39:02old stuff
39:02to now and stuff.
39:04And I really enjoyed that moment
39:06with him becoming,
39:07you know,
39:08Victor Meldry Jr.
39:09he slowly has been,
39:13you know,
39:13he's been slowly changing.
39:15Now,
39:16when I got to say,
39:17I was blown away
39:20for a moment there.
39:21You got this secret layer,
39:23you know,
39:24you know,
39:25shag high,
39:26you know,
39:27my mind already hit the gutter.
39:29I'm sure many of you
39:30probably at the same
39:31in the moment of time
39:32when you first watched it.
39:34If you're watching
39:34for the first time,
39:35you might've thought,
39:37you know,
39:37I'm thinking,
39:38yeah,
39:38shag plays,
39:39all right,
39:39let's sign me up,
39:40let's go check this place out,
39:42man.
39:42So the interest already
39:43was peaked
39:44and I think that
39:45that moment
39:47did not disappoint.
39:49Anybody
39:50upset that
39:52Patrick didn't want
39:55to go and stuff?
39:55I understand why
39:56he didn't go,
39:57but again,
39:57I see like,
39:58Victor has been constantly,
40:00to me at least,
40:01trying to give an olive branch
40:03and this guy
40:03just ain't having
40:04none of it.
40:05but part of me
40:06wishes that
40:07he would,
40:09you know,
40:10have a better
40:11relationship with him
40:13but then again,
40:14you wouldn't have
40:14these crazy adventures,
40:16you know,
40:16it's not like the same
40:17friendship that he has
40:19with Mr. Sweeney.
40:20So I get,
40:21you know,
40:21opposites,
40:22you know,
40:22you gotta have
40:23kind of different types
40:24because I think
40:24that's the spice of life,
40:25right,
40:26ladies and gentlemen?
40:26So maybe,
40:27although I want them
40:28to squash the beef,
40:29maybe not so soon,
40:30you know what I mean?
40:31Let's continue,
40:32let's continue rolling
40:33with the punches,
40:34man.
40:34The dog that doesn't
40:36bark anymore,
40:37you feel for it,
40:38it's funny as hell.
40:40The dog there,
40:41you know,
40:41him falling down,
40:43man,
40:43my heart,
40:43man,
40:44again,
40:44he got a mix
40:45of a horror moment
40:46there where I'm thinking,
40:47damn,
40:47he killed the dog,
40:48he squashed the shit
40:49out of it.
40:49So I was happy to see
40:51that the dog was okay.
40:52I love dogs,
40:53you know,
40:54to pieces.
40:56So I,
40:57you know,
40:57I was like,
40:58oh shit,
40:58man,
40:59and that's where they,
41:00the show has a great
41:01shock value,
41:02like the Shag High place.
41:03You see the one dude
41:05go in,
41:05out of order,
41:06I'm like,
41:07eh,
41:07whatever,
41:07you gotta go,
41:08you know?
41:09And then,
41:09you know,
41:10you got this kind of
41:11like Bruce Wayne
41:12kind of,
41:13you know,
41:13hideout or any sort of,
41:15you know,
41:16I don't know,
41:16some,
41:17yeah,
41:17like a villain's
41:18headquarter,
41:19like,
41:19yeah,
41:19you got a,
41:19you got a nice
41:20little place there,
41:21he starts going down.
41:22I absolutely loved it.
41:23Obviously,
41:24it was a short,
41:25quick scene there,
41:26which Margaret did not
41:28like the name
41:29of the restaurant anyway
41:30from the jump
41:31and she really
41:31gonna hate it now,
41:32but man,
41:33what'd you guys
41:34think about Pippa?
41:35She was fantastic
41:36when she even was
41:37thinking about that shit,
41:39instant,
41:40oh yeah,
41:41oh yes,
41:42Benny Dorm,
41:43again,
41:43no matter,
41:45that this show is,
41:46you know,
41:46before Benny Dorm,
41:48you know,
41:49my first experience
41:50with her was Benny Dorm,
41:51so she's always gonna be
41:52Jacqueline to me,
41:53you know,
41:54with the,
41:55with the,
41:55with the man Donald man
41:57and,
41:57you know,
41:58no matter what,
41:59I know she's a different character,
42:00this is a different world,
42:01you know,
42:02et cetera,
42:02et cetera,
42:02different show,
42:03but she's always Jacqueline to me,
42:05it's one of my favorite performances of her,
42:08not that she's shittier guys,
42:09but she's Jacqueline to me,
42:11you know,
42:12if I haven't said it enough times
42:13or anything like that,
42:14but another enjoyable episode,
42:17that critics review,
42:19back to the critics real quick,
42:21was phenomenal,
42:22man,
42:22again,
42:23you know,
42:23always,
42:24you know,
42:24check shit out for yourself,
42:26but,
42:26because in a day of now,
42:29where a lot of shit is becoming shit now,
42:31and things aren't made the same,
42:33like even the games nowadays are shit,
42:35you know,
42:35you gotta try it for yourself,
42:37see if you like it,
42:37if you don't,
42:38then,
42:38you know,
42:38whatever,
42:39but,
42:39you know,
42:41you gotta trust yourself,
42:42you gotta trust your instinct,
42:43man,
42:44you know,
42:44especially for myself too,
42:46you know,
42:46I watch a lot of shows,
42:48and usually in the first episode,
42:49is usually the more important episode,
42:52where,
42:52you know,
42:52people are chiming in mostly,
42:54like,
42:54oh,
42:54this is shit,
42:56not funny,
42:57blah,
42:57blah,
42:57blah,
42:58or they enjoyed it,
42:59you know,
42:59blah,
43:00blah,
43:00blah,
43:00et cetera,
43:01et cetera,
43:01so it's always interesting,
43:02that first episode,
43:03whenever I watch the show,
43:04because yeah,
43:05everyone comes out to,
43:07to,
43:07to say their two cents,
43:09and,
43:09but if I'm vibing with it,
43:12I'm continuing it,
43:13ladies and gentlemen,
43:14that's how,
43:15that's how I roll,
43:15but thank you guys so much,
43:17for hanging out,
43:18enough of my yapping,
43:19there was plenty,
43:20plenty of good,
43:21moments on this episode,
43:24always good to,
43:25at least hear,
43:25Mrs. Warboy's,
43:27name and mention,
43:28oh,
43:28I will chime in real quick,
43:30dumb TVs,
43:31the dog situation too,
43:33with the bone,
43:33and Patrick coming in,
43:34at the wrong time,
43:35and again,
43:36like damn it,
43:37he,
43:37again,
43:37that guy can't catch a break,
43:38but I will say real quick,
43:39this is really off topic,
43:40but,
43:41in the time of those kind of like,
43:42I guess that's considered,
43:44what,
43:44like those plasma TVs,
43:46those type of TVs,
43:47and even the old CR TVs,
43:49were better,
43:51in the sense that,
43:52if you ever had,
43:53some sort of,
43:54break in,
43:55robbery,
43:56they're not stealing that,
43:57they ain't,
43:57they're gonna have a,
43:58seriously hard time to steal,
44:00not like the,
44:01our flat screen TVs now,
44:03that their light is a feather,
44:05you don't even need two people,
44:06to carry them shits,
44:07yeah,
44:08so it's a better time,
44:10you know,
44:10and I love the binoculars bit,
44:13you know,
44:14get down and shit,
44:15from the next door neighbor,
44:17wanting to listen,
44:18he's like,
44:19are you watching the TV,
44:20like yo,
44:20get the hell out of the way,
44:22I thought that was funny itself,
44:24but yeah,
44:25another enjoyable episode,
44:27great start to series six,
44:28crazy that I'm saying that man,
44:30but,
44:31the laughs are still there,
44:33obviously,
44:33fantastic to see,
44:35and continue seeing the show,
44:36and you know,
44:37Victor and Margaret,
44:38leading the way,
44:39accompanied on this episode,
44:41with Patrick,
44:41Pippa,
44:42and Shanghai,
44:42and Shanghai baby,
44:44let's freaking go,
44:45use the code words,
44:47you know,
44:47in the comments down below,
44:49again,
44:49if you made it this far,
44:50thank you so much,
44:50for accompanying me,
44:51on my journey,
44:52appreciate you all,
44:53the laughs are still there,
44:54I'm loving the show,
44:55we'll see you soon,
44:56peace out,
44:56take care,
44:57be well,
44:57all the best,
44:58peace.
44:58Peace.
44:58Peace.
44:58Peace.
44:59Peace.
44:59Peace.
45:00Peace.
45:00Peace.
45:00Peace.
45:01Peace.
45:01Peace.
45:01Peace.
45:01Peace.
45:02Peace.
45:03Peace.
45:03Peace.
45:04Peace.
45:04Peace.
45:06Peace.
45:08Peace.
45:08Peace.
45:08Peace.
45:10Peace.
45:10Peace.
45:10Peace.